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Bae, Baby & Babe

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This was Chanyeol's fault. All of it. Kyungsoo is convinced his boyfriend wanted to drag him through hell. Not even by Kyungsoo's legs! Chanyeol wanted to hold his hand and pull Kyungsoo's unwilling body right behind him. All the while chattering about the fun they're going to have meeting other hell-goers and belly flopping into molten lava.


Childcare was the last class Kyungsoo would ever willingly sign up for. No amount of whining from Chanyeol would change that. No amount of whining from Chanyeol did change that. But much to his boyfriend's delight and his own utter despair, fate wanted Kyungsoo to get a fine taste of hell as well (as if puberty and high school wasn't enough??).


"Sorry Kyungsoo, we just don't have enough people who signed up for drama acceleration to make it a class. The only electives that aren't filled are Dance and Childcare." Despite the apology, Mrs. Cho didn't look apologetic at all. Others would identify the Deputy Principal's expression as tired and bored but no- Kyungsoo thinks the woman wants him burnt to a crisp in hell too. Why else would he be faced with the two subjects-he would rather play a three-hour game of gruelling dodgeball against Kim "Killer Aim" Minseok -than sign up for? 


The Deputy Principal looks at Kyungsoo expectantly causing him to start freaking out. All he can think of are a bunch of tiny SpongeBobs yelling as everything around them simultaneously bursts into flames. Kyungsoo can't even focus on how he was able to remember that episode of SpongeBob he watched when he was seven. He's too busy trying to control his inner turmoil by showing a face of indifference. 


He tries to focus on weighing the pros and cons of each class. The upside of taking dance is that Baekhyun would be there. The downside of taking dance is well...Baekhyun would be there. He already gets a play by play of Baekhyun's dance class butt-ogling adventures at lunch every day. He definitely didn't need to witness that first hand.


The upside of Childcare is that he and Chanyeol would finally have a class where they could sit together in the back of the classroom. The seventy-minute period consisting of Kyungsoo trying to pay attention to the teacher while Chanyeol showed off all the tricks he can do with various pieces of stationery. Before Kyungsoo even knows it he's blurting out, "I'll take Childcare." 


Thus, Kyungsoo sealed his own fate. All because he wanted to learn how Chanyeol does that spinny thing he can do with his pencils. Fuck.


The term goes by in a flash and Kyungsoo forgets why he was even repelled by the class in the first place. He can't say it was the subject in particular that made him enjoy the class. Not when he and Chanyeol either played footsie under the table most of the period. Or had competitions on who could make the most paper cranes before the bell rang (Chanyeol taught Kyungsoo origami to calm him after he failed to execute the pen trick for the fiftieth time- how does Chanyeol do it? How?!). 


They both  try  to pay attention enough to pass and  usually  have a 75% success rate. Honestly, Kyungsoo thinks, if the teacher expected 100% she would've separated the two within a week and  not  encourage daily partner discussions.


However, that had been just the calm before the storm. Or alternatively, when Kyungsoo's figurative hell had broken loose.


Alas, the dreaded day came when hell delivered itself to Kyungsoo's doorstep. Taking the form of his boyfriend holding a plastic baby in his arms. 


Kyungsoo had been having such a nice day. The weather was great (read: overcast with a 70% chance of rain). It was the end of the school week, he'd finished all his assessment for the term, his parents were gone for the weekend, Baekhyun hadn't tried to steal his lunch. (He refuses to admit that he kind of hopes that last one doesn't become a frequent occurrence. For the first time in his life, Kyungsoo's lunch had...leftovers.)


Basically, he had planned to chill at home for the weekend. Marathon an anime series on his to-watch list, Chanyeol would randomly invite himself over to watch as well and he won't complain much if that eventually unfolds into making out on the couch.


But no. The devil decided that if Kyungsoo didn't want to go to hell it would bring itself right to him wrapped in size 0000 Rilakkuma pyjamas. 


Kyungsoo regrets opening the door. 


The second his eyes fall on the plastic baby doll cradled in Chanyeol's arms a million sirens go off in his head and the tiny SpongeBobs appear again more distressed than ever. 


"What is that?" Kyungsoo asks knowing what it is but hoping that he's wrong for once.


"Our baby! His name is Yuseung!" Chanyeol smiles brightly, eyes shining, excitedly fidgeting on the front mat. He looks adorable. So adorable. Too adorable. Kyungsoo almost feels bad about shutting the door in such an adorable face. 


The second it closes there's an immediate "Hey!" that comes from the other side followed by his name yelled repeatedly.

Kyungsoo doesn't go anywhere and just stands at the door listening to Chanyeol's calls fade out into "can I come in now?" 


"Only if you leave that thing outside," Kyungsoo conditions.


"What thing?"


"The thing you're holding in your arms right now,"


"What? You mean Yuseung? Soo! I can't leave our baby outside! That's negligence!" 


Kyungsoo huffs, "okay. I suppose it's not negligence if you stay out there with it as well." 

Chanyeol's cry of protest falls flat when Kyungsoo swings open the door, "but I also suppose that if you were out there while I'm in here that would be...self-negligence." Maybe self-infliction of torture is the right phrase. It would eat Kyungsoo up if Chanyeol decided to give up trying to get in and leave, especially when Kyungsoo very much wants him inside. With him. On the couch. Watching anime. And making out. 


Kyungsoo zeros in on the toy baby as Chanyeol walks in. Gross. It looks even scarier up close. So still...and lifeless. 


"I will forgive you for shutting the door in the faces of me, your gorgeous boyfriend and our cute child on the condition that you promise to love and care for our son," Chanyeol says.


Kyungsoo wants so bad to say no. He doesn't want a child right now. Or rather the next decade. Not even a toy one like this. He'd much rather hole up in his room and continue watching the show he had just started before Chanyeol had rang the doorbell. 


"Or, you could love and take care of it and I will cook us both dinner? How does that sound?" Kyungsoo bargains.


Chanyeol looks contemplative for a few seconds, "Yeah okay, deal. I'm in the mood for pasta."


"Pasta it is."



"Yeol, why did you sign up for this? It's not even compulsory," Kyungsoo asks after washing the dishes. He watches Chanyeol try to suppress his panic at the sound of the baby simulator crying.


The recording of an actual infant crying sounds even scarier coming out of the motionless plastic toy. 

Chanyeol waves the pendant on his wrist over the baby's torso and it makes a beeping noise. Kyungsoo recalls that pendant needing to be used to identify the parent to the simulator. 


"I took it because Miss Kim made it sound like fun!" Chanyeol says, reaching backwards with his free arm. He pulls a milk bottle from his bag and places the tip on the mouth. The crying halts. Replaced with odd, but quieter, gulping and suckling noises. Kyungsoo can't even decide which sounds were the creepiest, this or the crying loop. 


It's not that Kyungsoo dislikes babies. He does have a slight aversion to infants however- their fragility makes him wary of being in close proximity of them. Other than that though he's kind of okay with them. If they're a safe distance away, sleeping and not his responsibility. 


Despite this baby simulator not invoking his usual fear that comes with infants (mostly because it's plastic and won't be injured if he accidentally drops it) he still doesn't want to take care of it. Not when it's programmed to ruin sleep. 


"Are you still going to think it's fun when it cries  at 3am ?" Kyungsoo questions.


"Wait what? It's going to do this while we're sleeping too?!" Chanyeol lets the bottle slip from the baby's mouth during his exclamation on accident.


Kyungsoo stays mum, just staring at Chanyeol as he freaks when the simulator starts wailing again. Well this was going to be a long night. 




"Yeol is this really necessary?" Kyungsoo stares forlornly at his bed currently being overtaken by the robo-baby. 


Chanyeol had insisted Yuseung sleep in Kyungsoo's bed. But out of worry of the baby getting crushed he decided that right in the centre of the double bed surrounded by a ridiculous amount of pillows was the only plausible option. 


Kyungsoo wanted to suggest that the toy be put outside on the couch or something. However, he quickly remembers that he and Chanyeol have never spent the night in the same bed before. He scraps the idea of getting rid of the baby completely; he doesn't think he'd be able to sleep next to Chanyeol without the mountain of pillows between them. 


The awkward scenario of changing into sleeping clothes had thankfully never come into fruition. Kyungsoo changed the second he got home and Chanyeol arrived in a loose tee and sweatpants. He hadn't noticed when he'd first opened the door and wished he did. His boyfriend looked great dressed down, snuggly and ready for couch cuddles. 


Then again, Kyungsoo might have been able to fully appreciate the sight had his boyfriend not been holding the devil in his arms. 


Kyungsoo climbs into his side of the bed. He pushes pillow mountain inward to get some room for himself, careful not to jostle the baby too much out of risk of it crying again.


He lies down and blanches when he realises he can still see Chanyeol and the baby on the other side of the couch cushion stack. Kyungsoo turns to face the other way. There's not nearly enough room for him to lie like this without the worry of him falling straight out of bed during the night. It was a risk he was willing to take if it meant it would lessen the awkwardness of sharing a bed with Chanyeol. And the creepy doll with lifeless eyes that he can feel penetrate right into his very soul as if wanting to harvest it for currency.  


Whoever manufactured this doll should've added eyelids that shut. 


He lies there staring at the wall and it's silent long enough that Kyungsoo wonders if Chanyeol's already fallen asleep (and therefore safe for Kyungsoo to now sleep). He's just about to shut his eyes and let the exhaustion of the past week pull him into a deep slumber when he hears Chanyeol whisper, "Hey Soo, are you still awake?"


Kyungsoo sighs deeply, "yes, I am." 


"Come over here and listen to this," 


Kyungsoo reluctantly turns over to face Chanyeol again and sees him with his ear to the baby's mouth. 


Chanyeol lifts his head and gestures for Kyungsoo to come closer, "Soo, it breathes."


Kyungsoo cautiously moves to mirror the position Chanyeol had been in just previously and he hears it. The sound of continuous shallow breaths. 


"Do you hear it?" Chanyeol asks, staring at Kyungsoo expectantly.


Too close, TOO CLOSE . Kyungsoo freezes, the comment he was going to make about the simulations' creepy breathing forgotten. When Kyungsoo had lifted his head to look at Chanyeol, he found the other's face only a few inches from his own.


Chanyeol seems to have stiffened up just as Kyungsoo had, as if noticing their close proximity as well. They're there staring at each other for what feels like forever to Kyungsoo. 


He doesn't know whether to lean in or back away. Both options seem like they'd have awkward outcomes at this point if they had differing ideas. Kyungsoo feels almost silly about how tense the both of them are. It's so silent, Chanyeol must be holding his breath too.


It's not like this is their first kiss. Kyungsoo remembers being much more confident about that one though, he'd initiated it before they'd even started dating. 


They've kissed loads of times between then and now. Stolen pecks at school. Before school. After school. Outside of school. In front of Kyungsoo's locker. In front of Chanyeol's locker. On stage. Off stage. Make outs on Kyungsoo's couch. Chanyeol's couch. That one time they'd gotten carried away in the entrance hall of Kyungsoo's house (Chanyeol had gone on a week-long retreat with the rest of the basketball team. Kyungsoo may or may not have missed him very much). What was so different about now? 


Chanyeol breaks their locked gazes first and Kyungsoo watches as it trails down to stop at Kyungsoo's lips. 


The action causes Kyungsoo to suddenly recall what made kissing right now so different. 


Oh yeah, that's right. They're both in Kyungsoo's bed. Where things Kyungsoo goes red at the thought of could possibly happen. Those things are more than likely to not happen but Kyungsoo is still a hormonal teenager and that just happened to be where his mind jumped to first.


When Chanyeol starts to lean in Kyungsoo proceeds to freak out, shouting SpongeBobs and all. 


"HA! Ha-euhhhh...." Kyungsoo forces out a strained laugh and promptly ruins the moment as he retreats. "The baby breathes! It sounds so real it's creepy, right?"


"Uh...yeah..." Kyungsoo hears Chanyeol mumble. He refuses to look at the other right now knowing that a confused frown is probably being directed at him. 


Kyungsoo has to resist the urge to faceplant into his pillow and bemoan at how he's somehow made the air between them more awkward. 


"Um, night Soo." He hears Chanyeol say followed by the sound of his head hitting the pillow. 


Kyungsoo mumbles a 'night, Yeol', turning off his bedside lamp and wriggling back into under his duvet.  


He shakes his head at himself once the room is blanketed in darkness. Kyungsoo replays the moment in his head and wants to facepalm as realisation dawns on him.


He was just going in for a peck why am I such an idiot? Kyungsoo flops onto his front and buries his face into his pillow with a vow to never come back out. 


Except to breathe. That's it though. And go to the bathroom. Yeah. Other than that he plans on staying like this for the rest of eternity! 




The annoying shriek of a crying infant jolts Kyungsoo awake. He's disoriented for a moment, wondering why the fuck is he hearing baby cries right now when he remembers. Oh yeah. The devil had come and taken over his bed for the night.


He turns the lamp on and frowns at the simulation doll. He turns to look expectantly at Chanyeol to find him still sound asleep. That fucker. 


"Chanyeol, it's crying. Make it stop!" Kyungsoo hisses and prods at Chanyeol to get him to wake up. The sleeping boy doesn't even stir. 


He checks his phone for the time and sees that it's only  1AM . Currently cursing every moment that lead to this event he groggily attempts to remember how to get the thing to shut the fuck up. 


The volume of the crying loop gets turned up a notch and Kyungsoo scrambles for the pendant he saw on Chanyeol's wrist earlier. He unstraps it from him, the movement still not even waking the other in the slightest. 


Waving it over the baby's abdomen the crying stops briefly to beep before starting up again. It sounds even louder


He frantically searches for the bottle finding it on the table beside Chanyeol. He shoves the bottle in the baby's mouth and prays that the crying will finally stop. 


It doesn't.


"Fuck my life," Kyungsoo groans, chucking the bottle down next to the kid. He glares at the bothersome toy child and it's blissfully slumbering appointed father. What did he do to deserve this fate? Why can't he also be sleeping peacefully right now? 


He racks his brain for what to do next trying to block out the crying. Thankfully, he was immediately supplied with an answer instead of tiny screaming SpongeBobs. 


A diaper change. That's what it needed. He finds the fabric diaper in Chanyeol's bag which had also been on the table. He takes off the identical one the baby had on and puts on the other. He's almost grateful at this point that the toy doesn't have some sort of dirty diaper production feature.


The crying stops and Kyungsoo feels like crying himself right back to sleep. He crawls back into bed, exhausted and wanting nothing more than to fall asleep the second his head hits the pillow. 


Kyungsoo's eyelids are so heavy they shut effortlessly and already he feels his tiredness pushing him into a very deep and promising slumber. 


But the devil wasn't done torturing him just yet. 


His eyes are closed for what only feels like a minute when there's a muffled whine from behind him.


"Don't you fucking dare," Kyungsoo mutters. His threat falls upon deaf ears as he's attacked with more crying. 


He squeezes his eyes shut tightly pulling the covers over his head. Pressing his pillow against one ear and the thick blanket onto his other, he wills himself to ignore the crying and just go back to sleep. 

Honestly, how was Chanyeol not awake right now? This was possibly the most annoying thing he'd ever heard. Kyungsoo had even kneed him in the side on accident more than once trying to stop the crying and he still hadn't woken up.


Why did fate hate him so much?


When the crying gets too loud to ignore Kyungsoo throws off sheet with a long drawn out groan. He grabs the pendant and attaches it to his own wrist effectively expelling any of his hopes of sleeping tonight.  



Kyungsoo wakes up in the morning holding a milk bottle and hating his life. He finds his bed a mess of pillows and blankets but otherwise free of his log-sleeper of a boyfriend and the demonic robo-child from hell he'd brought home. 


There is however, an origami heart on his bedside table. Kyungsoo unfolds it recognising the lined paper from one of Chanyeol's notebooks. 

'Yuseung says sorry for waking you up last night ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ' 

Kyungsoo just chuckles and shakes his head at the note, folding it back into a heart (Chanyeol had also taught him this during their shared class). He places it in drawer filled with similar notes. Unbeknownst to Chanyeol, Kyungsoo's kept every note the other has given him. 

Kyungsoo's never been the cheesy or sentimental type but Chanyeol seems to always be an exception to this rule. 


He fondly remembers the moment he'd received the first note from after they'd started dating. Kyungsoo had reminded Chanyeol of his promise to not write anymore love notes and the other had argued that "they're not love notes! They're...'Chan-notes'...oh come on Kyungsoo! I learnt how to fold them into hearts just to confess to you how can you expect me not to utilise this skill really..."


Checking the time, he roughly estimates that he's gotten about 5-6 hours of actual sleep. He thinks he must have knocked out the second the sun started rising. Possibly. He can't remember much past his third awakening if he's being honest. 


Kyungsoo eventually makes his way out of bed following the sound of drawers being opened and the smell of something being fried. He tracks Chanyeol down in the kitchen the latter not yet noticing him there. 


He's seen him cook before, but never in Kyungsoo's kitchen. Chanyeol has Yuseung sitting on top of the bench, facing away from Kyungsoo. 


Kyungsoo observes with a smile as Chanyeol attempts to navigate the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards and drawers to find what he needs. His hair a fluffy bed head mess with that adorable frowny lip bite he does when he's trying to recall or search for something adorns his face. 


"Yuseung-ah, you wouldn't happen to know where the oil is would you?" Chanyeol asks turning to the baby in question. 


Kyungsoo has to suppress his laugh at how seriously Chanyeol is eyeing the doll and seemingly expecting an actual answer from it. 


"Yuseung, you're supposed to be helping me make breakfast for Kyungsoo! I'm trying to help you make it up to him because you kept him up all night ! Now I can't make eggs without oil now can I?" Chanyeol waves his hands around, his speech to the doll completely earnest.  


A smile makes its way onto Kyungsoo's face in response to his boyfriend's silly yet sincere antics.    


"It's in the cupboard above the stove, Yeol." Kyungsoo says, finally making his presence known. 


Chanyeol jumps at his voice, gaze flicking upwards from the baby to where Kyungsoo's lingering around the dining table. 


"Oh hey! Morning, babe." Chanyeol greets Kyungsoo with a grin.


He's so taken aback by the pet name he can't even fight off the warmth spreading across his cheeks. Fuck. Kyungsoo has just woken up! Chanyeol can't just throw a curveball at him like that. 


Chanyeol goes back to preparing breakfast now knowing where the oil is as if he hadn't just made Kyungsoo go red with one word. 


When Kyungsoo finally regains his composure and takes a seat at the bench it dawns on him that he's been too flustered to even say 'good morning' back. 


Kyungsoo had been ready to tease him about talking to a toy but Chanyeol had singlehandedly made him forget in under three seconds! 


He wants to get up and whack Chanyeol for ever saying it. He doesn't though. Mostly because Kyungsoo is afraid getting physically closer to Chanyeol might hand the other an opportunity to make Kyungsoo redder than he already is. Nevermind, he's already done it to himself by thinking about it. 


His plan to have a chill weekend has already been foiled and it's only  Saturday morning . Since the second Chanyeol arrived Kyungsoo has done everything but chill! 


Kyungsoo side-eyes the baby next to him. The blame for all of Kyungsoo's problems in the past not-quite-yet-but-soon-to-be twenty-four hours is all on the baby. Obviously, since it's not like Kyungsoo's been this shy around his own boyfriend before it arrived.


(Lies. Kyungsoo stuttered up a storm the first time Chanyeol had called him 'Soo'. Don't even get him started on the first time Chanyeol had come over to his house and pulled him closer for cuddles. The yelling SpongeBobs went crazy that day.) 




Yuseung cries just as Chanyeol and Kyungsoo finish eating. Chanyeol ran to pick it up off the counter and swipe the pendant as Kyungsoo wordlessly went retrieve the bottle and nappy. 


They both sit on the couch waiting for it to finish drinking its bottle. When the simulation gives the OK to stop feeding, Kyungsoo takes the baby from Chanyeol's arms. He sits it up on the armchair, surrounding the doll with cushions for his boyfriend's peace of mind. 


When he turns around again Chanyeol's standing right behind him. Kyungsoo leads him to the couch where he promptly pushes him down to sprawl across it, legs bent to fit all of him on. Before Chanyeol can say anything, Kyungsoo is hovering over him with an excited smile upon his face.


"Now that the baby is taken care of..." Kyungsoo starts.


"Wh-what?" Chanyeol stammers, eyes wide and questioning.


"I can finally do what I've wanted to with you all weekend," he leans in closer and is able to hear Chanyeol's gulp.


"Wh-what was it that you, uh, wanted to do?" Kyungsoo feels Chanyeol shiver as he gets nearer.


He bypasses Chanyeol's lips however. The exhale of his breath that washes over Chanyeol's cheek causes the latter to squirm underneath him.


"I want," Kyungsoo whispers, his lips close enough to just brush against Chanyeol's ear, "to watch anime." 


There's a small pause as Chanyeol is left to process what Kyungsoo had just said. Then they're both erupting into giggles as Chanyeol playfully shoves Kyungsoo off him.


Kyungsoo gets up and plays the anime he'd started watching yesterday. They settle back into the couch together. Chanyeol lays a blanket over their legs and reaches out to grasp Kyungsoo's hand in his own. Kyungsoo lets him, not thinking much of it. This isn't the first time they've held hands. 


Although, a moment later he thinks he shouldn't have. Not when he can't concentrate on what's happening on the screen. Chanyeol's thumb was rubbing various patterns onto the back of his hand. It's distracting Kyungsoo enough that he gives up trying to watch and sends a pointed look at Chanyeol. He ends up admiring his boyfriend's side profile and the fluffy mess on top of his head that Kyungsoo would very much like to have his fingers running through right now. 


Time to initiate phase two of his weekend chill plan. 


It takes a while for the other to notice that Kyungsoo's staring at him rather than the TV. 


Chanyeol blinks at him and asks, "What? Is there something on my face?"


Kyungsoo blinks back, "No."


"You already bored of the show?" Chanyeol questions with raised brows, thumb still stroking the backside of Kyungsoo's hand. 




"We can put a differ-" Kyungsoo cuts Chanyeol off, free hand threading his fingers into the latter's hair. He pulls him down swiftly to kiss him.


Chanyeol doesn't miss a beat and is quick to respond despite being taken by surprise (or maybe he's just gotten used to being grabbed and kissed by Kyungsoo). He frees Kyungsoo's hand so that he can move his to Kyungsoo's waist. 

Kyungsoo feels his shirt being lifted slightly and the warmth of Chanyeol's palm sliding up underneath. He's back to tracing patterns with his thumb. This time it's against both sides of Kyungsoo's hips. 


With their lips melded together like this it's easy to forget everything surrounding them. Unless of course it's a wailing toy baby.


Kyungsoo was just about to finally get some tongue action (because what's the point of couch make outs if he's not getting any of that) when he hears Yuseung's unmistakable warning whimper.


When he feels Chanyeol's hands start to pull away Kyungsoo presses up closer not wanting to stop just yet. But the baby starts its first cry loop and they both groan as they force themselves to separate. 


"Yuseung is getting returned first thing on Monday," Chanyeol says firmly as he goes to tend to the baby.


"That's the best thing you've said since you got here," Kyungsoo replies as he loops his arms around Chanyeol's torso from behind, resting his head against the taller's back. 


"Oh? Is it really, babe ?" 


Chanyeol yelps and jumps when Kyungsoo's index fingers poke straight into his sides. 


"Don't call me that," Kyungsoo grumbles. 


"Your lips are telling me no but the blush on your cheeks say yes!" Chanyeol accidentally uses the hand holding the bottle to point at Kyungsoo's face setting off another wave of crying. 


Kyungsoo huffs at the noise but can't stop the smile that forms on his face at his boyfriend's bumbling, "Just feed the baby, Yeol."