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tonight, i'm going to lose it all (playing with fire)

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tonight, i’m going to lose it all (playing with fire)


There’s no doubt that Jackson receivesthousands of tweets and subtweets from his fans on a daily basis. Sometimes he gets bored and reads through them, but mostly, he ignores them. Most of them are calling him Daddy, which really freaks him out, and many ask if he’s gay.

Jackson likes the fact that he hasn’t come out yet. It keeps the media and his fans on their toes. He stretches out across his bed, scrolling through his feed on Twitter. Honestly, his notifications are overwhelming. He used towant this. He used to so power-driven; he used to think that nothing else would bring him happiness. Well, now he’s here, and now he’s bored. He’s bored, tired, and unhappy.

He has the day off, which almost never happens these days. No one ever tells you that when you become famous you have to go here and smile there and hold that product super casuallyas you walk from your limo to a store. No one tells you that the paparazzi sucks but sometimes the fans suck more. There’s no guide.

He hit it big with his one modelling gig that landed him a job on a high-profile movie. Jackson found himself swept up in this world that he’d longed to be part of for so long. For what? So he could go to red carpet events, one arm wrapped casually around his best friend Lydia, kiss her cheek, and have the headlines splashed with questions about whether they are together or not. He loved Lydia, really he did. She made those stuffy, boring, kiss-ass events amusing when she’d lean in real close and whisper some snarky remark about the people around them.

Jackson stops scrolling when he sees a particular tweet.

[img tweet from stiles: stiles24: honestlyjwhittemore should try dating me - his life would be immensely better fr]

Jackson snorts. Who does this kid think he is? He clicks on his twitter profile just for shits and giggles. His tweets aren’t overly interesting, but they keep Jackson on his profile longer than he should be. 

He’s mentioned a couple of other times - one tweet where this kid, Stiles, tells another guy to fuck himself and leave Jackson out of the argument. Jackson clicks on the thread and frowns when he sees the first guy had called Jackson a loser.

He’s seen people get in fights and arguments about him before. It’s nothing new, really, but the thing that stands out to him is the fact that one of his subtweets to the other guy says that his life must suck because he’s spending his time whining about someone who’s clearly more successful than him. Jackson wonders if Stiles would say that knowing that Jackson feels like he didn’t earn anything.

Fuck, he wanted to make a name for himself. But here he was, creeping tweets of a fan because he had and it still wasn’t enough. Of course, it wasn’t enough. His looks were the things that got him jobs. It had nothing to do with his talent, his passion, or even his love of the job. No, no one cared about that. He had done countless interviews where he was asked to take his shirt off.

Jackson had done a couple speeches about equality and how the media objectifies women. No one cared.

He wonders if Stiles had an opinion on theone small article that had come out about Jackson’s opinions on feminism. He huffs, because then he sees a dumb tweet from the guy.

[img caption - tweet from stiles: stiles24: how about them METS?!?! #goMets!]

Jackson wants to tell him about how much the Mets suck, but he knows that sending a tweet like that will have the entire world in confusion. It’s a well-known fact that Jacksonnever responds to tweets. Whenever it comes up in interviews, he always tells them that it’s because it wouldn’t be fair since he can’t reply to everyone. Mostly, it’s because he wants to keep his notifications limited and he doesn’t want to encourage even more people to hound him to notice him.

He stops when he sees a particular tweet by Stiles. It catches him off-guard.

[img caption - tweet from stiles:stiles24: met jwhittemore today. didn’t pass out. he was p. cool tho. looked tired.]

Jackson looks at the date. Oh yeah, he’d done a fan expo or something that weekend. He only vaguely remembers the weekend - he’d met almost a thousand people doing photo ops only. Not to mention his autograph session and his Q&A panel.

He remembers being exhausted. Keeping a smile on his face had grown harder as the weekend had passed on. He had been grateful to have been close enough to home to sleep in his own bed at night. Jackson smiles at the thought of this kid thinking he was “p. cool tho” and is pleased he didn’t ruin his idea of him.

Jackson types a response before he thinks it over.

[img caption - jackson tweets: jwhittemore: stiles24 yeah, that was definitely a long weekend for me. glad to be #stilesapproved.]

Jackson realizes that responding was probably a mistake, but before he can delete it, his phone is ringing. He winces. Oh no.


“Jackson, are you fucking crazy?” Lydia’s voice snaps. “You made such a big stink about how you don’t reply to people because you want to be fair. Then you reply to a nobody!”

Jackson shifts on his bed, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. “Well that took exactly two seconds.”

“Jackson, I have your twitter set to give me notifications whenever you tweet. Don’t be stupid. It’s too late to delete that tweet without causing an uproar. Just be prepared to answer why that kid’s tweet from a year ago was worth responding to now.”

He closes his eyes. “Honestly, I wasn’t thinking. I was creeping–”

“Why were you creeping him anyway?” Lydia demands. “His most recent tweet was him suggesting that you two go on a date, you know. He’s probably a stalker.”

“I think he seems nice.”

Lydia sighs, as though this is the worst thing he could possibly say right now. He bets she’s rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Jack, you can’t make insane decisions based on the fact that you think he seems nice. You don’t know him at all. I’ll have Danny and Boyd run a check on him, but do not acknowledge him again, okay? The media is going to have a field day, jesus.”

Jackson doesn’t know what to say to that. He knows she’s right. A thought hits him. “Do you think the media will hunt him down and bother him?”

“That’s exactly what I think,” Lydia snaps. He doesn’t take it personally. She adds, her tone only slightly softer, “If you occasionally responded to people, it wouldn’t be a big deal. But to do…this. It’s just asking for trouble.”

He’s not sure what to make of that. They talk for a few minutes, say their I love yous and then he hangs up. Jackson looks at his notifications. Stiles’ phone is surely going off with all the crazy things people are tweeting right now, and Jackson’s stomach drops. He didn’t mean to make this guy’s life hard. Really. He just appreciated that Stiles had noticed how tired he was.

Jackson clicks ‘follow’ on Stiles’ profile and DMs him.

jwhittemore: let me know if the media bothers you. sorry about this. -j.

He rolls over and buries his face into his pillow.Ugh. This sucks. Jackson knows this will come up in interviews. What made Stiles Stilinski so special? Why did Jackson break his rule for this kid? Have they met before? If so, how did they know each other? Was it love at first sight? Is Stiles his secret boyfriend?


He fucked up pretty badly.


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stiles24: wow okay I left my phone at home by accident and was hanging out with my buddy
stiles24: and to come back to this…my phone was dead and I was confused but it’s because of all the notifications I guess
stiles24: i’ve gotten six emails from tabloids already asking when we’re getting married
stiles24: april 25th work for you?


Jackson stares at his phone. He’s a little unsure how to take this. Stiles doesn’t even seem to be freaking out…he made a Miss Congeniality reference anyway.


jwhittemore: april 25th sounds like a great day. it’s not too hot and not too cold. all you need is a light jacket.


stiles24: holy shit

jwhittemore: my best friend is lydia martin of course I got the reference

stiles24: hahah that’s so cool
stiles24: no but srsly what is going on right now? my local news even called me??

jwhittemore: sorry, I…


Jackson stares at his phone. He what? He got carried away reading a couple hundred tweets from Stiles and decided to respond? He liked reading his tweets between him and his best friend regarding what part of the brownie was best? (Conclusion: any part as long as they’re eating it). He had paused to read his “I forgot my pillow” tweet a few times. What did that even mean?

Stiles had also tweeted about college a couple times, so that put them around the same age. It made it seem a little less weird. Right?

stiles24: sorry, you…?

jwhittemore: wasn’t thinking clearly, I guess.

stiles24: that’s cool. I’m just gonna tell the papz that we’ve been dating for six years and have about seven kids that we know of. they’ll have a field day with it.

jwhittemore: seven kids? are you trying to build an army?

stiles24: with your genes? I might be
stiles24: srsly though, what do I do?? what do I tell my friends?

jwhittemore: to be honest, I don’t know
jwhittemore: lydia called to yell at me
jwhittemore: think people will believe that I’m only human and I make mistakes?

stiles24: was it a mistake?

jwhittemore: I’m not sure yet

stiles24: you seem pretty trusting that I won’t screenshot these and put them on the internet

jwhittemore: they would’ve already been there and lydia would’ve ripped my balls off

stiles24: hahahahhaah
stiles24: dude lydia is a goddess and you better worship the ground she walks on

jwhittemore: don’t worry, i get down on my hands and knees and kiss it just like everyone else

stiles24: HAHAHAHA oh jesus dude that’s good
stiles24: so I’m just gonna tell the media a bunch of outrageous thins about us, okay?

jwhittemore: uhhhh I don’t think that’s a good idea

stiles24: too late. I told EW that you have a house full of snakes and that you prefer to be called the Snake Master instead of Jackson on Sundays. she didn’t seem very impressed when she emailed back…


Jackson starts to laugh out loud. He pulls the blanket up closer to his face, settling in for a long night.


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“You’re going on a date with him?” Lydia repeats for the third time.

“Yes,” Jackson echoes again.

“A date?” Lydia says. “With a fan who tweeted you suggesting you date.”

“Honestly, Lyds, after spending the last two weeks texting with him, he’s pretty…something,” Jackson says, giving her a shy smile. She huffs, as if she has no patience for this, but he knows she’s going to sit down with him in a minute.

“Boyd said his background check came up clean. And Danny mentioned that his internet history seems pretty harmless. He does look at gay porn so…” Lydia sits down in her usual chair. Jackson smiles at her, but she’s too busy frowning at her hands. “Ugh! I don’t want to support this. But honestly, that kid is a fucking godsend. He answers every single media question about you with something so absurd that no one is listening to him anymore.”

“He said that’d be his plan of attack,” Jackson murmurs. With more confident than he fells, he adds, “Listen, Lyds, I’m going on this date regardless of what you think. it’d be easier to have your blessing though.”

She frowns at him. “Alright, fine. Go on a date with him. If the media gets wind of the date though, I reserve the right to pull you out of it immediately.”

“Fine, whatever.”

There’s a heavy pause between them. Lydia adds, “He’s pretty cute though. And I’ve read every single tweet he’s ever sent. He seems nice. Don’t hurt him.”

“I won’t.”


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“You know,” Stiles says half-way into their date. Jackson arranged for a private booth in the back corner of his favourite restaurant. It wasn’t anything crazy upscale; in fact, this was the very restaurant that he used to go to when he was a kid. Jackson looks at Stiles, waiting for him to swallow his mouthful and continue talking. It feels comfortable to be around him; like he’d already known him before they met. “I never thought I’d actually go on a date with you. That tweet was mostly a joke because there was that article floating around about how you’re sad and miserable.”

“I–there is?” Jackson asks. He’s surprised Lydia never mentioned it. Maybe she hadn’t because it hits pretty close to home.

“Yeah. Sucks, right dude? Anyway, my buddy, Scott–the real fan of yours–sent me the link. It was so ridiculous and–”

“Scott, the real fan?” Jackson asks, surprised.

Stiles claps a hand over his mouth. He takes a long moment before he finally admits, “Uh, yeah. My best friend, Scott, is the one who freaks out about you. He was super mad jealous about us even talking. I like you and all, and you’re definitely gorgeous as fuck, but I…yeah, I think I’ve only seen one of your movies and that’s ‘cause Scotty dragged me to see it with him?” 

It’s the first time that Jackson really relaxes. He gives Stiles a brilliant smile, leans over, steals one of his fries and dips it into ketchup before he eats it. Stiles mocks being offended, but Jackson knows.

He asks Stiles more about his friend Scott, and leans back just to listen to him talk.

There’s just something about him that has his entire body humming with anticipation of what’s to come.


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