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You're a Mess

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Carmilla is going to be mad. You don’t know what’s worse, the fact that she is going to be furious or find this extremely amusing. Under different circumstances, you probably would have thought that this was funny as well.

You shake yourself and you nearly fall onto your face. You still haven’t gotten used to this whole four legged thing. Carmilla said it would be strange at first, and that she would be there to help you through it. Honestly, you really wish that she was here, because then you’d know how to turn back. You didn’t mean to change, you thought you needed to sneeze but then all of a sudden you were tiny. Even tinier than usual.

You try to groan but it comes out as a pathetic mew. Carmilla is going to find this hilarious and you hate it.

You decide that you should probably move, you’re standing in the middle of your room, trying desperately not to freak out. Everything around you is huge. Mustering up all your courage, you take four clumsy steps towards your side of the room. It’s awkward and strange, but you make it.

Your thoughts cease when you look up at your bed. Yes. You have to look up at your bed. You sigh furiously at yourself, of course you would be a tiny little kitten. A kitten! Maybe it’s because you’re new at this and it was unintentional, but you wanted to be something scary looking. Like a gryphon or a mountain lion.

You snap back to thoughts about the task ahead of you, getting up on that god forsaken bed of yours. You wiggle around, trying to figure out your new found body. You huff when you realise that this is going to take a lot of effort. You hadn’t planned on this. You had planned on finally working on your english lit paper.

A noise outside catches your attention. Your ears strain to hear what’s going on and you panic when you hear the familiar fall of your girlfriends boots. You waste no time running under your bed, your claws skidding over the timber floors. There is no traction and it takes three strides to finally make it safely under your bed. You pray to any and all gods that your girlfriend doesn’t try to look for you because if she sees you now, you don’t think you could live with it.

You hear the door slam open and a very exaggerated sigh from your girlfriend. You shuffle backwards desperately trying to avoid Carmilla as she makes her way towards her bed. She starts talking about her day and you curse anything and everything for the hundredth time. How could this happen? Why are you tiny? Why can you not turn back? Maybe if you try and sneeze? Does fake sneezing make you change? Or is it real snee-

“Laura?” Carmilla calls. She takes a step towards the bathroom, you shuffle back again. You are not being caught today. No way in hogwarts are you letting Carmilla see you like this. Especially this small. She calls for you again as she looks into the bathroom as you try and remain as quiet as possible. You begin to shuffle again when your claw gets hooked between the floor boards. The involuntary squeak that you let out makes Carmilla spin towards your bed. If you could, you would be swearing because no this is not happening. You begin trying unhook your paw as she takes a step towards your bed. She hasn’t spoken but you know she knows. You can feel that stupidly attractive smirk on her face. Your paw wiggling gets even more frantic when she takes another step and then kneels down. You freeze when you see her face appear. Maybe if you stay still those annoyingly piercing eyes won’t see you.

“Well aren’t you a tiny little kitten.” Carmilla basically purrs as she eyes you. You refuse to acknowledge that she has spoken and remain still. This is not happening to you. You refuse. Her smile only grows when she takes you in.

“Come on out cupcake, I know it’s you.” You feel yourself bristle, this is no- no, no, NO. You’re about to tell Carmilla just where you think she should go when you let out this stupidly high pitched growl. Carmilla barks out a laugh and quickly tries to cover it up with a cough when she sees the absolute horror on your face. You did not expect that. It was the least threatening thing that you’ve ever done. And you’ve threatened someone with a wooden spoon.

Carmilla seems to take pity on you and gently reaches her hand forward and scratches just under your chin. You think that you might die of pure bliss, this is the best thing you’ve ever felt. You hear Carmilla chuckle as she lifts you from your hiding place and holds you to her chest. She stands, cooing at you as she goes, and you begin to purr. If Carmilla wasn’t scratching you in just the right place, you may have been horrified at the mess you’ve become. But right at this moment, you don’t care.

“So cupcake, what happened to waiting?” She says, amusement clear in her tone. You stiffen, how do you tell your vampire girlfriend that it was an accident? You mew. That’s how. If you could blush, you would be blushing. You glance up at her. She’s wearing an expression of pure adoration and that makes your tiny form swell with pride. You, a tiny little gay, have made your broody, bad ass girlfriend, smitten.

She gently runs a hand through your honey coloured fur and you snuggle into her. Purring. God, you’re just as smitten. She holds you closer to her body as she lays down on your bed, your yellow pillow resting behind her head. She releases you as you squirm. It takes you a few tries (and some help) but you eventually get upright. Carmilla is still stroking you and it’s making it hard to focus. You shakily stand and walk over her chest. She cocks an eyebrow at you and you try to roll your eyes. You mew again and she chuckles. You feel her body shake as you try to keep your balance.

You squint at her as she stares at you, obviously challenging you. You are not playing this game. You mew louder and look at her expectantly. Her smile only grows. You huff loudly and walk forward and head butt her chin. She smiles at you and begins playing with you’re tail.

“See something you like cutie?” She drawls, pulling your tail gently as you whip your head around to glare at her. You mew loudly in her face as she rolls your eyes. You flick your tail out of her grasp and walk back up her body and settle on her stomach. Your tail twitches in annoyance. You’re about to test how well your claws work when you feel something shift. You tense as your body begins to buzz.

“Laura? What’s wrong?” Carmilla’s hand is on your back but the feeling doesn’t go away. It creeps up your spine and you kind of feel like you’re about to snee-

“OOF”

You glance towards Carmilla who is grimacing lightly at the sudden change in pressure. You look down at yourself and gasp. You’re huma- well as close to human as you can get again! You turn and beam at your ridiculously attractive girlfriend who gently smiles back at you.

“So I’m a tiny little kitten huh.” Carmilla only laughs in response.

Chapter Text

When Lafontaine finds out about your uncontrollable transitions, all they do is laugh. Much to your chargein and Carmilla’s amusement. Perry on the other hand gives you a sympathetic smile and pats your hand gently.

“Just ignore them Laura, you’ll get the hang of it eventually.” She says it with such confidence that you can’t help but believe she’s right.

It’s been three weeks since you first transitioned and you’ve made little progress. Carmilla had taken you out to the university’s forest and taught you how to either sense the change, or begin it. You still struggle with sensing it but you’ve managed to change on your own a couple of times. However, you can’t help but notice Carmilla’s frown whenever you lose control of it. She tells you not to worry and you do try not to.

You’re in the middle of arguing with Danny, Carmilla is on your bed, reading as usual, as you and Danny struggle not to rip each others throats out. You can’t help but be a little furious that Danny took to being a vampire easily, whilst you still struggle with your control. It’s not that you’re not trying, because you definitely are. You just can’t grasp what exactly lets you have this control.

“Danny please, stop treating me like I am a child!” You say through gritted teeth. Your fang poking your gums.

“I’m trying to explain it to you Laura!” Danny growls, her eyes flaring.

Carmilla clears her throat and gently grabs your hand. You relax instantly. Danny looks away.

“Maybe you should give Laura a break?” Carmilla says, pointedly glaring at Danny. You feel the back of your eyes beginning to burn with tears as you sit down on your bed. Defeated.

You don’t look up as Danny says her goodbyes and leaves the room. Slamming the door a bit harder than necessary.

Carmilla shifts so she’s sitting next to you, so that there’s no space between the two of you.

“Hey.” She says quietly, her finger gently raising your chin so you’ll look at her.

“Hey.” You whisper in reply, your voice breaking through the strain of tears. You can’t stop them as they fall, Carmilla only guides you to her chest, where she gently strokes your back. You hate how hard this is. You hate that you can’t grasp what Danny and Carmilla so easily can. You sniffle. That’s when you feel it. You sit up ramrod straight, almost head butting Carmilla in the process. Her eyes widen as she realises what’s about to happen.

“Laura! Hey, look at me! Don’t-“ Her sentence is cut off as you transition. Then she chuckled. “Oh you are so adorable buttercup.” If you could, you would be yelling at her because after three weeks she still finds it incredibly amusing that you can’t transition to anything but a kitten. You throw her a murderous glare but it is somewhat lost in translation due to your tiny stature.

You grumpily make yourself comfortable on her lap as she gently strokes your fur. She’s smiling at you but you refuse to acknowledge it. You instead, purr angrily. It has nothing to do with the fact that what she’s doing with her hands is incredibly pleasant. Not at all.

You nearly jump three feet into the air when your door bangs open and Lafontaine and Perry come storming into the room. Carmilla gently removes your claws from within her thighs with a grimace.

“Laura! You’re not going to believe…-“ They stop talking immediately when they notice your human form is clearly not in the room. However, Perry immediately begins hitting Lafontaine repeatedly on the arm making a variety of squeaking sounds whilst pointing at you. You growl, which is not as threatening as you would like to believe, of course, which makes Lafontaine’s eyes snap directly to you. Your back arches and your hair bristles. You’re going to murder them if they even comment.

“Oh my goodness Laura, you are tiny!” Perry almost screams as Lafontaine says.

“You’re a bad ass vampire yet you turn into that.”

Your only reply is an angry twitch of your tail, Carmilla is chuckling of course. Which only makes you angrier. You glare at both of them before you jump off her lap and stalk your way over to Perry. Whom of which kneels down and coos at you. You nuzzle into her hand and glance back at Carmilla who still looks incredibly amused. Your tail twitches.

“Laura, would it be alright if I picked you up? You’re just so cute.” Perry asks gently, stroking your back as you rub against her legs. You mew in reply, granting your permission. It’s not as nice as when Carmilla holds you, but when you glance back at her, you can’t help but notice that she doesn’t seem as amused. You shoot her a smug glare.

It’s been two hours since you transitioned and you’re starting to panic. You’ve never remained like this for more than an hour and it is really stressing you out. So much so, that you’ve started stress shedding. Carmilla had explained that it was perfectly normal to shed when I had just about yowled her head off about the honey hair everywhere, but you knew better. It was because of stress.

“Laura for the last time, you need to relax. You’re never going to be able to establish control over this if you can’t handle your emotions.” Carmilla who has been nothing but patient with you, is now starting to grow impatient. You’ve been pacing up and down the length of her bed for the last ten minutes and you can see that she’s about ready to rip the book that you’re distracting her from reading in half.

You huff before climbing onto her legs. She only raises an eyebrow at you. You turn around a few times, trying to find the best place to sit, before slowly lying down. Flicking your tail around you. You’ll get the hang of this, you know you will.

It’s been an actual day and you are now certain that you’re stress shedding because Carmilla is basically covered in your fur. Her only response was that they invest in a schticky. You were not amused.

Day four and Carmilla has taken you, Danny, Lafontaine and Perry to a field in the forest. You were a bit confused about why the last two were coming until you realised they were providing the snacks. Annoyingly enough, Carmilla had to carry you because you couldn’t keep up. Your legs were just too short. However, you’d take the humiliation over having to stay in the dorm room for another day. You were going stir crazy and when Carmilla found you surrounded by shredded toilet paper, she thought it best to get you out of there.

The field is larger than you thought it would be and you begin squirming immediately as it comes into view. Carmilla only laughs as she places you down on the floor before running ahead of you. You’re about to chase after her when transitions and you stare in wander. Her black fur shines in the moonlight. You quickly race to catch up to her.

Carmilla’s panther form towers over you as you wiggle through her legs. Even in her panther form, she still finds a way to tell you that she finds you extremely amusing. You stop when Carmilla chirps at you. You turn around as you watch Danny transition into a bear. Carmilla is a kitten compared to Danny’s form. You decide to stay under Carmilla. You are going nowhere near those ginormous stumpy legs.

Lafontaine and Perry watch with varying degrees of amusement and worry as you, Danny and Carmilla run around. You’d taken to running after Carmilla who always collapses dramatically when you bite her tail. Danny managed to scare you half to death when she nearly runs you over. You sprint away and hide behind your girlfriend. Making sure to take her tail in your mouth. The dying noises she makes are incredibly amusing and so are the huffs Danny makes when Carmilla launches onto her back.

Six days later and Carmilla is sitting with you in the middle of your dorm room. She’s trying to tell you about controlling your emotions and you’re really struggling to absorb what she is saying because you have never been good at hiding how you feel, let alone controlling them. They’re emotions, you can’t help but feel them.

It finally clicks then, why Carmilla and Danny are so good at this. They know how to keep their emotions in check. Carmilla, who rarely shows emotion other than disdain, unless directed at you, had mastered the art of blocking out what she was feeling. Danny ,on the other hand, is very level headed and has always been in control. Whereas you are very open, always with ten different things going on in front of you, feeling everything at once and you don’t know how to control that.

“Laura?” Carmilla says. A small smile playing on her lips. Your eyes snap to hers. “You need to latch onto a feeling.-“ So you try, but all you can think about is the way she is looking at you. The way her eyes sparkle, how her lips are always quirked up into a small smile that she always saves for just you. When suddenly, it clicks. You look her in the eyes again and hold onto the way you feel about her. Your body begins to tingle as you remember your first kiss, you feel it creeping up your spine when you think about the way she held you after you thought Danny was dead and that you had betrayed her. Then you feel the transition take hold when you remember the way she looked after you woke up from when you were changed into a vampire. It was filled with loved, adoration, and hope. Similar to the way she is looking at you now.

And you can’t help but think, this is home.

Chapter Text

“Carmilla you need to stop or I’m going to bite you.” You laugh, desperately shooing away her thieving hands. She’s currently trying to steal some of your pancakes, which you had told her to order. However, instead of listening to you, she had refused because “she wasn’t hungry”. Yet, as soon as yours arrived, she was suddenly famished and couldn’t last a second without your delectable pancakes. You weren’t surprised in the least.

“That wouldn’t be the first time.” She replies with a wink, swiftly taking a chunk of your pancake with her fork.

“Oh my god, CARMILLA. We’re in a public place.”

“That also wouldn’t be the- OOF.” You cut her off with a glare and a kick to the shin.

“You’re not funny.” You’re beet red and ready to hide behind your cup of hot chocolate when the waitress appears from out of nowhere. Honestly, it was like some kind of magic trick.

“Are you enjoying your meal?” The girl says, as she looks at Carmilla and not you. You glance down at your plate and the empty place in front of Carmilla. Did she just…?

“I am, thank you.” You say rather loudly. Surprising yourself and Carmilla. The waitress turns to you briefly as she looks you up and down.

“That’s nice.” She replies coolly before turning back to Carmilla and cocking her hip. Carmilla looks at you with wide eyes as you clench your hand into a fist around your fork.

You glare daggers into the girl as she continues to not acknowledge you. You realise your reaction may be a bit much, but all you can register is the severe ache in your gums and the burning in your veins. You’ve never been so enraged in your life.

“Yes. It is. Don’t you think so, Carmilla. My girlfriend. Carmilla the girlfriend. Of mine.” You growl. Turning into Tarzan. Apparently. You never knew your voice could get that low. If you weren’t so out of your mind, you’d be impressed.

You chance a glance at Carmilla who looks like she is two seconds away from hauling you out of your chair before you quickly switch your gaze back to Miss I-flirt-with-other-peoples-girlfriends-in-front-of-them.

The waitress turns to you and smiles thinly.

“If you need anything else. Let me know.” Before she winks at Carmilla and walks away.

“OH I WILL YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING CO-“ You shout before Carmilla is shutting you up by covering your mouth with her hand.

She’s sitting next to you instead of opposite you and you don’t know when that change occurred. All you know is this need to hurt the waitress in the most painful way possible.

“Laura you need to calm down.” Her voice is soothing and you're a tiny bit calmer as she begins stroking your hair with her other hand. You’re still breathing rapidly through your nose though and you really want to bite that girl. Rip her throat out and give it to Carmilla as a gift. “Cupcake, you need to breathe.”

Your eyes snap to Carmilla who smiles encouragingly as she chucks a couple of euros by your unfinished food. She removes her hand from your mouth and you struggle to hold back the snarl that you can feel forming on your lips.

“Come on cranky pants, let’s go before you hurt someone.” She stands and grips your elbows tightly before she starts heading to the exit. You let her lead you as you stare darkly at the waitress.

You manoeuvre yourself under Carmilla’s arm and hug her tightly around the waist.

“You’re not hers.” You say lowly, nuzzling into Carmilla’s neck.

“I’m not hers.” She repeats, kissing your temple.

“You’re mine.” You whisper, placing soft kisses against her pulse point. You’re nearly tripping over your feet as you try and stay entangled with Carmilla. It’s really not a great way to walk.

“Mhmm. Come on, let’s get out of here.” She says with a slight chuckle.

“Carmilla, what the frilly heck was that?!”

You’re in your bedroom, pacing as Carmilla lounges on your shared bed. She’s way too calm about this. If you had been left to your own devices, you’d have hurt that incredibly rude but not deserving of an excruciating death waitress.

“That, my dear cupcake, was some very wild possessive vampire crap.” She looks up at you and smirks.

“W-What! Possessive? me? No.”

She only stares at you incredulously as you struggle to wrap your head around what just transpired.

You? Possessive? You were never possessive when you were human. You liked to think you were pretty reasonable. You never wanted to murder anyone who so much as looked at your girlfriends in the past. What were you going to do?

“Look, Laura, before you get so stressed out you pace a hole into our floor. It’s something easy to control. It’s also extremely flattering.” She’s looking at you with this extremely smug smirk that is incredibly annoying but also incredibly hot.

You stop pacing as you turn to her.

“Flattering? How is debating whether murder is an appropriate response to someone flirting with your girlfriend flattering?”

“Because it means that you love me.” Her voice is filled with sincerity and her eyes shine with adoration. You swoon a little inside until she cocks her head to the side and wiggles her perfectly groomed eyebrows at you as the smirk on her face only grows.

“I don’t know why.” You say, blushing and smiling like the complete fool that you are. She grins as she stands from the bed before she comes to stand in front of you.

“It’s because of my dashing good looks and excellent choice in champagne.” You scoff as she steps closer to you, her voice doing wonderful things to your body. She slides her hands up your arms and settles them around your neck.

“Maybe it’s your fashion sense?” You whisper against her lips, your chest arching into hers as you eliminate any space between the two of you. Your hands find their way to her hips automatically.

Her eyes bore into yours as you smile.

“Oh, it’s definitely that.” She whispers, her voice laced with amusement.

You pull back slightly from her as you come to a realisation.

“So is that why you're always threatening Danny with beheading?” She groans loudly as her forehead hits her arm on your shoulder.

“I do not want to think about Clifford as I attempt to seduce my girlfriend.”

“I mean, you’ve already seduced me once, it can’t be that hard.” You say cheekily as she snaps her head up and glares at you.

“Well a certain shortcake makes it incredibly difficult.”

“I’ll have you know, you’re only like an inch taller than me.”

“An inch is an inch.”

“I’M NOT THAT SHORT.”

Chapter Text

Out of all of your hair brained schemes, this has got to be the worst one yet. You’re a smart girl and you can admit when your plans are dumb. Including this plan, of going up to your girlfriends sister, of whom you accidentally had the hand in murdering, and asking her to help you control your abilities.

You shakily walk up her front steps to her door. This is a terrible idea. She hates you. She’d gladly murder you without a second thought if it wasn’t for Carmilla. Carmilla who you didn’t bring to be a buffer. Oh my god, you’re going to get slaughtered.

Just as you’re about to turnaround and race home, Mattie swings the door open. She’s looking gloriously terrifying as she stares down her nose at you. She basically towers over you in her red six inch heels.

“Gidget.” She says in greeting, her voice sending chills down your spine. She doesn’t look overly surprised to see you.

“M-Mattie!” One of her perfectly sculpted eyebrow lifts. It’s eerily similar to the way Carmilla does it that you can’t help but wonder if they were taught how to do that.

“What do you want?” She growls coldly in reply, looking you up and down.

You chuckle awkwardly as she glares at you. You were never good at talking to her.

“I am here, to ask for your help.” You shift on her doorstep as she looks you up and down.

“And what, pray tell, little one, do you need my help on?” Her hand moves to her cocked hip as she continues to glare at you. Her black dress standing out against the red wall paper behind her.

“I’m having issues… controlling myself around Carmilla… When other people are around. Talking to her.” You don’t know how to say that whenever someone so much as breathes in Carmilla’s direction you find yourself wondering the quickest way to commit decapitation.

Mattie brings you out of your reverie as she laughs loudly. Your eyes widen dramatically. It echoes around you as you stare at her in a mixture of surprise and horror. You don’t think you’ve heard Mattie laugh that sincerely before.

“I remember those days, controlling those urges were incredibly difficult. Come on in little one, this isn’t a discussion to have outside on my door step.” She ushers you in through the door as she chuckles. “I’ll be honest Gidget, I never thought you’d come to me with this.”

“I wasn’t going to,” You sigh, as she tsk’s under her breath, “I went to Carmilla and she said it was perfectly normal and easy to control but I’m still somehow struggling with it. Just like my second form.”

“Yes, she told me about that. I always new you’d be a pipsqueak.” She’s laughing at you again. You huff, which only seems to encourage her, and walk swiftly to her lounge room and plop down on one of her chaise lounges.

She walks in behind you and sits down gracefully across from you. She looks two seconds away from laughing again.

“Would you like a drink?” She asks, grabbing two glasses out of the cabinet next to her seat. It’s a minbar. Your already wide eyes widen further.

“Uhh.. Yes please.”

She smiles in your direction as she takes out a large glass bottle of a red liquid. Your nose twitches.

She gingerly pours you a glass of the beverage before she passes it to you. Your fingers wrap around the surprisingly warm glass. You draw it back to yourself and sniff it carefully. You almost drop it when you realise it’s exactly what you thought it was.

“Why’s it warm?!” You squeak loudly as Mattie chuckles at you yet again.

“Calm down, it’s Mulled Wine mixed with a little type A.” She takes a sip of her glass as she watches you desperately try and reign in your emotions. “I like my blood bags luxurious and warm. Sue me.” She drawls with a shrug. Everything about her is so casual. It blows your mind.

“Right…” You mumble, sipping on your drink with barely concealed disgust. You still haven’t got used to the idea of drinking blood. It’s so unnatural to you that the first time you had tried, Carmilla had had to fetch a bucket.

“Now on to this little problem of yours,” She says, crossing her legs carefully, “Most newbies, such as yourself, struggle with the increased libido. I didn’t think this would be a problem given your and Carmilla’s sexual history.”

You choke on the sip of wine you were taking. What does your sexual history with Carmilla have to do with anything?

“Mattie what?!” You sputter. Your face is bright red as you try desperately to forget about this whole conversation.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. When you’re a newborn, everything increases. All your natural instincts. So naturally your attraction to my darling sister would increase as well. It’ll calm down eventually.” You hide behind your hands as Mattie’s words hit you. The glass your holding awkwardly sits against your forehead. You don’t know what you did to deserve this torture.

“Mattie please.” You mumble, “I don’t know what this has to do with-“ She cuts you off with a wave of her wrist as she starts talking again.

“If I were you little one, I’d take advantage of it. Try out some new things. I heard there’s this store in town which sells some extremely pleasing appendages that I’m sure not only you, but Carmilla would enjoy.” Mattie’s voice is matter-of-fact and she’s acting like she hasn’t just given you an aneurysm.

“Mattie why are you talking about sex?” You cry, uncovering your face from your hands. Mattie’s eyes go wide as you stare at each other. Neither of you speak as several awkward moments go by.

“Isn’t that what you need help with?” She asks, placing her glass down on the table. You chug the rest of your glasses contents.

“No.” You whimper, rubbing your face awkwardly as you look anywhere except Mattie.

“Oh. Well why didn’t you tell me that before we started talking?”

“I tried but you just interrupted me!”