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Cut & Run Diner Conversation 01: Caramelldansen

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"No, but seriously. What the hell is a Caramelldansen?"

"You know. That Swedish song with the anime chicks." Seeing their blank stares of incomprehension, Owen rolled his eyes and held his hands by his ears, rocking slightly in his seat.

"Hey, I know that one!" Kelly said immediately. He brought his hands up to his head and wriggled in time with Owen, swaying to an imaginary beat.

"Do your testicles shrink when you do that?" Ty blurted after a moment.

Nick looked at Kelly askance. "Do I even want to know?"

"It's a dance!"

"I'm pretty sure it isn't."

"I think they're having some sort of combined seizure," Zane murmured to Ty under his breath, and Ty nodded mutely in return.

From his place in the corner, Digger shook his head, biting into a breadstick. "This has gotta be a white people thing."

"Ooh-ooh-ooh-wah-wah!" Kelly warbled.

"Yeah, no." Owen dropped his hands. "I draw the line at singing. Bad enough I know the fucking dance."

"Admit it, O-zone, you've got it on repeat on your iPod right now, don't you?" Kelly grinned, raising his hands even higher.

"Riley loves it," Owen said flatly. "I just smile and try to breathe through the pain whenever she plays it in the car."

"We always hurt the ones we love," Digger said sagely.

"She must love me a lot."


Zane frowned and leaned in his seat toward Ty. "Is this anything like the Macarena? Because that was fun for about a week."

"Now you're just embarassing yourself, Walking Shorts."

"Shut it, Hot Dog."

"I guess it's sort of like that. It's a song with a little dance that goes with it," Kelly explained. "It's catchy as hell-"

"Like V.D.," Owen muttered.

"One of the kids at camp showed me the video. There are these three cartoon chicks with crazy colored hair. You haven't seen it. You've gotta see it."

"I'll be sure to look it up as soon as I get home," Ty said with the practiced air of someone who intended to do just the opposite, a fact that Kelly either didn't catch or, Zane thought, far more likely, ignored.

"No, let me just-"

"No. Hell no!" When Kelly fumbled for his cell phone, Ty turned wide eyes on Nick. "Do something!"

"Like what?" Nick shot back, his green eyes equally wide.

"I don't know! He's your boyfriend, think of something!" Ty flailed as the high-pitched sound of impossibly catchy electro-pop blared across the booth.






With all of the reluctance of those whose eyes were drawn to a train wreck, everyone at the table found themselves staring as three animated girls with enormous breasts and disproportionately small waists danced on screen.

Nick pursed his lips. "Kels, I love you. I'd take a bullet for you. But if you subject me to any more of this I'm dumping your ass."

"Even if I do the dance for you naked?"

"Especially if you do it for me naked."