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He loves you.... more than he loves me....

Summary:

Where Plagg's worst memories get shown to everyone.

Tw // panic attacks.

Notes:

This happens shortly after Chat Blanc.

Chapter Text

It was a normal day but the students wondered how long it would be normal for. Their class has been known for always being caught up in Akuma attacks. Whether it was one of them being akumatized or one of them being targeted by an akumatized person, the class got used to it, well, as used to it as they could. 

 

When a purple-skinned clock human thing breaks through the window of their class no one was surprised. But Adrien and Marinette stood up in a defensive stance getting ready to run out to transform when they could. 

 

"OHH CHOLEEE," the Akuma said in a sing-song voice. 

 

Everyone in the class groaned in frustration. Of course, the Akuma was after Chloe. 

 

Chloe made her way across the room and closer to Adrien. 

 

"Since you make all my memories terrible, why don't we see your worst memories!" 

 

Chloe jumps behind Adrien pushing him forward. He got hit by the beam in his chest, more specifically in a pocket inside his jacket that contained a certain kwami. 

 

Adrien's eyes went wide. He begged for Ladybug to jump through the window and save them because if he was actually going to see his worst memories, then his secret would be out and he would have to give his miraculous back to Master Fu and he would lose his lady and he'd lose Plagg. All the worst thoughts were running through his head and he started having trouble breathing. 

 

Just as he hit Adrien a purple mask appeared around the Akuma's face. 

 

"Calm down Hawk Moth I don't get why you're so upset with me hitting this spoiled brat, yeah yeah I'll get the jewelry you want later but first let me take care of Chloe" 

 

Everyone except Adrien heard what the Akuma just said. He was too busy trying to calm himself down and to force himself to breathe properly so he didn't pass out. He could feel small paws stroking his chest. He felt a bit better knowing Plagg was trying to comfort him. 

 

"I guess we'll just have to go through your memories first before I can get to my dear Chloe," The Akuma said as he blocked the door. 

 

A projection appeared out of nowhere but what surprised Adrien was it wasn't even him, it was Plagg. 

 

"Tikki, I am not doing this!" Plagg hisses. 

 

The entire class just remains silent staring at the screen with their eyes wide open. 

 

"Plagg! We have to!" 

 

"YOU MAY BE OK WITH GIVING YOUR OWNER UP BUT I'M NOT! I DIDN'T GET TO CHOOSE THE WIELDER OF MY MIRACULOUS FOR CENTURIES! I AM NOT GIVING HER UP!" He yells. 

 

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. This was bad, this was really bad. They're going to find out that he's Chat Noir. 

 

Adrien couldn't get all the bad thoughts out of his head. 

 

"I don't want to give my bug up either but it has to be done. You know that we have to retrieve the miraculous from our current owners and find new owners!" Tikki argues. 

 

"But she has been having a hard time ever since the whole time travel thing with Fluff and the Rabbit miraculous, she's been having more and more panic attacks and I'm just worried. If I leave her now, she…. I don't want to know what would happen to her…" Plagg says as tears start forming in his acid green eyes. 

 

Tikki hugs him "The Guardian thinks it's best if we leave tonight," she says softly. 

 

"Oh fuck him. You know as well as I do that the Guardians are as dumb as rocks. They think they know more about us than we do about ourselves. WE ARE THE ONES THAT EXISTED BEFORE THE EXISTENCE OF THIS UNIVERSE NOT THOSE STUPID WORTHLESS HUMANS WHO THINK THEY KNOW HOW THE MIRACULOUS WORK OR HOW KWMAIS WORK THEY'RE JUST A BUNCH OF FOOLS TRICKING THEMSELVES INTO THINKING THA-"

 

"PLAGG! Calm down. Just leave your note and leave. I already left my bug, it was hard but she can manage…" Tikki trails off. 

 

"Your bug might be able to manage but my kitten won't, I'm telling you she is having a hard time and if I'm not there then who would she talk to about it? She doesn't know Ladybug's identity and without me, she wouldn't be able to find her as Cat Noir…. she…. I just don't want to leave her alone. I care about her. I just have a weird way of showing it"

 

Tikki sighs "Plagg… please…" 

 

With teary eyes, Plagg agrees "Fine" 

 

As his chosen, was asleep he slipped the ring off her finger and left the note, and left to return the ring. 

 

He went with Tikki to the Guardian, who he didn't trust at all but he just stayed quiet most of the night. The other kwamis were worried but didn't pester him knowing the way he acts. 

 

He snuck out from the Guardian early that morning to go see if his chosen was alright. 

 

He watched through her window quietly as she shifted in her sleep, she sat up and rubbed her eyes and her eyes immediately fell on the finger where her ring was supposed to be. 

 

"Huh? Plagg? Where are you? My ring isn't here?" she looked around her bed a bit and finally noticed the note. 

 

She rubbed her eyes again to see clearly and started reading the note. Plagg could see her eyes starting to tear up halfway through the note. 

 

"Plagg?" she called out. 

 

She started breathing really fast again, she was having a panic attack again, but this time he couldn't go and comfort her. 

 

"Pl-please tell me this is one of your pranks" 

 

"It's a prank right?" 

 

"Plagg….. please…." 

 

Plagg couldn't bear to see his chosen cry; he couldn't bear being there for a second longer. He flew as fast as he could back to the Guardian. 

 

It again switched to him and Tikki "Plagg, you have to pick someone to be Cat Noir" 

 

"Heh, why? Don't the Guardians do that, since when do we get the liberty to pick who would wield our powers? " he asks bitterly. 

 

Tikki sighs "Master has already tried choosing an owner for you but you won't cooperate with anyone! You haven't co-operated with anyone since that girl from 500 years ago! I know she was special to you but you can't live in the past! Especially not us! This happened so many times, we lost so many chosens whether it be in battle or they passed as time took its course, we still parted with them"

 

"But it was different because none of the previous Cat Noir's have been picked by me! She was!" he hisses at Tikki. 

 

They see a figure approach them from behind. 

 

"Plagg, I am not like the other Guardians. I will not force you to choose someone but I would like to say that someone activated the butterfly miraculous and has been trying to use it for evil. It is best if the two most powerful miraculous will be given out to trustworthy people" Master Fu speaks up. 

 

"Plagg, I know you're still not over your previous owner and everything but it's been over 500 years you have to let g-" Wayzz starts but gets interrupted. 

 

"Yeah yeah I get it I guess I'll go try to find someone…. to save Nooroo… " the cat kwamis says as he flies out through the window. 

 

It switched to a Tikki and Master Fu. 

 

Plagg floated towards the two of them. 

 

"Have you made your choice?" Master Fu asks. 

 

"Yes" 

 

"So, who do you choose to be the next Chat Noir?" 

 

"Adrien Agreste" 

 

The entire class gasped loudly. Most of them didn't know about kwamis so they were confused but this managed to clear some things up. 

 

Master Fu smiles softly "Very well then I'll have your miraculous delivered in no time" 

 

"Plagg, you have never made a bad choice! I trust that he will be a great Cat Noir!" Tikki says, trying to cheer him up. 

 

"I only got to choose my wielders 3 times…. including this one" he sighs. 

 

It switches to a scene of Adrien standing near his window looking down at his phone and then outside. 

 

Plagg could see his chosen reflection through the mirror. His eyes looked so innocent, so fragile, so vulnerable, so kind, so caring, something hard to find amongst the people who wielded his powers in the past, well except one. 

 

"Hey, kid, why the long face?" he asks as he makes himself comfortable on Adrien's shoulder. 

 

"Today was mom's birthday," he said simply. 

 

Plagg felt his heartache at those 4 words. His chosen really didn't deserve the pain he was going through. 

 

"Hey, how about you transform and jump around a bit, you know, to clear your thoughts" Plagg suggested. 

 

Adrien chuckles "Aren't you the one who said not to transform without reason? Won't you get tired?" 

 

"I'll be fine!" 

 

"Ok then, Plagg Claws Out!" 

 

It again switches to a scene of Adrien sleeping with his kwami cuddled next to him. 

 

Plagg woke up because he felt something was off and he looked at his chosen. 

 

He was sweating as if he was having a nightmare, he had his eyebrows furrowed, he was having a hard time breathing and his entire body was stiff. 

 

"Hey kid, wake up" he calls gently as he pushes Adrien's face. 

 

Adrien shot up with his eyes wide and tears in his eyes "You ok? You seemed like you were having a nightmare" the kwami asks clearly worried. 

 

"Yeah… I'm fine… It was just a nightmare…. yeah.." 

 

He said it in a… weird way. As if he was trying to convince himself. 

 

Adrien had a drink of water and went to bed again. He was still tense and stiff. 

 

Plagg started purring. He knew that a few of his previous chosens liked it when he purred. It wasn't exactly like a cat's purr but also exactly like one. It was calming to listen to, according to them.

 

Plagg cuddled next to Adrien's chest and smiled as he felt his heartbeat slow down and his body relax. 

 

The next morning for whatever reason he kept having panic attacks. 

 

He saw his father for a brief second as he moved from one room to another but that was enough for him to drive him nuts. 

 

Adrien held onto his head as he curled up near the door, Nathalie noticed and rushed to him "Adrien, are you ok?" she asked.

 

Adrien didn't answer. He was too busy trying to regulate his breathing. 

 

Plagg could feel Adrien's heart beating really fast. Adrien was trying his best to breathe. 

 

He calmed down after a while, a long while and he went to school. 

 

The entire day he started having mini and not so mini panic attacks which worried Plagg out of his mind. 

 

He had one when he saw Marinette walk into class, he had one when Alya showed him her lasted video about Ladybug and Chat Noir's latest Akuma attack which was 3 days ago, he had another one when he saw a butterfly, not even an Akuma a literal butterfly, he had another one when he walked into the Dupain Cheng bakery, he had another one when he saw Alix and he even called her Bunnix, he was dumb yeah but he was never dumb enough to actually say something that would compromise his identity so this was concerning and when he got home he saw his father waiting for him on top of the stairs and he went crazy, Adrien that is. 

 

He was breathing so fast and sobbing so hard that he started getting dizzy and he fainted. 

 

He was…. scared. But why? Yeah his father was a dick and all but why was he that scared? 

 

When the doctor left and he was alone Plagg tried talking to him. 

 

"Hey kid, what's wrong?" he asks. 

 

"No-nothing" 

 

Plagg wanted to push further but he knew that his chosen wasn't mentally or physically strong enough to even talk right now. 

 

The panic attack thing continued for the rest of the week, it was clear that he was going insane. 

 

"Kid, stop. You're not going to overdose yourself on allergy pills to knock yourself out, that's unhealthy" Plagg states as he floats over to his chosen. 

 

"But you didn't mind me doing it before," Adrien says bitterly. 

 

"That's before I knew that doing that was actually bad for humans" 

 

Adrien chuckles dryly as he reaches for the allergy medication he had in his bathroom but before he could even touch it Plagg took the bottle and threw it out the window. 

 

"Plagg" Adrien hisses. 

 

The entire class had worried looks on their faces, even Chloe. 

 

Nino put his hand on Adrien's shoulder but he flinched so hard making Nino stumble back. Adrien would usually apologize but he was panicking too much to even think straight. 

 

His usually neatly combed hair was messy and his eyes had bags and he didn't even wear makeup to cover it up. He spaced out more in class. He was close to tears at multiple points for no apparent reason. This was really worrisome. 

 

"Kid, you have to talk to Ladybug" 

 

"I literally had a panic attack the second I saw her in person. I almost fainted. Again. Besides Hawk Moth isn't doing anything so we don't really need to meet up" 

 

Plagg sighs "I'm going to pay Tikki a visit, I'll be back in a bit" he states. 

 

"Have fun" 

 

Plagg sighs as he flies through the window and to his other half. 

 

The class gasps recognizing where that place was, it was the Dupain Cheng Bakery. 

 

"Tikki?" 

 

"Plagg? What are you doing here?" she asks. 

 

"I just need to talk to you" 

 

"Is it about Adrien? I noticed how he's been acting recently and…" she starts but doesn't know how to continue.

 

"I'm worried. Like really really worried. The same thing happened to my last chosen. She also had panic attacks like this. Even though it was almost 500 years ago I can't forget about it…." 

 

"Plagg, you don't have to beat yourself up over it, you couldn't do anything" she states. 

 

"Yeah but still… I'm… I'm over it… the past I mean… maybe… that's not what I'm here to talk to you about though! Do you have any clue as to why he's acting like that?" he asks. 

 

"Well, there was this one thing…. Mar- (bubbles) uh, Ladybug ran into some trouble last week. She did something and it resulted in Adrien finding out who she was and then somehow Hawk Moth found out and managed to acumatize Chat Noir and he ended up destroying the moon and the entire city including Ladybug and Hawk Moth. So Bunnix had to come and save the day"

 

"Wait what? If something like that happened why didn't she tell him?" he asks. 

 

"I don't know… I guess she's still traumatized from having to fight her partner"

 

"I don't blame her….. but I guess that explains why he was acting so weird even around Alix… heh, I guess my bad luck is rubbing off on him…. maybe too much.. " he asks. 

 

"You ok, Plagg?" she asks softly. 

 

"Do you….. do you ever get tired of being immortal?" he asks. 

 

Tikki looks at him softly "Plagg, I was born right before the creation of the universe, you were born a few hours after me. We have been alive since the beginning of everything. We had many….. owners, not all of them were chosens. Even though it pained me to leave them it had to be done"

 

"If we were meant to be the embodiment of creation and destruction then why do we have emotions or feelings? Aren't those supposed to be Nooroo and Duusuu's thing?" Plagg asks as he frowns. 

 

"I honestly don't know"

 

"Do you ever regret the things you created?" he asked looking at her. 

 

"I….. I do. A lot. But I don't have time to beat myself up over my mistakes. I really regretted creating humans at first because a lot of them had ill intents but now… I… I guess I just realized that things aren't so black and white. No one is good or evil. They just have different ideals and different points of views. A person choosing their family over a whole city of strangers may seem terrible and 'evil' but for that person it was the right choice" Tikki finishes. 

 

A few of the students flinched at hearing those words. 

 

"Do you regret destroying anything?" Tikki queried. 

 

Plagg laughs "Really?" 

 

He stops laughing after a few seconds and looks forward "I don't really. Everything must come to an end. If it didn't happen by me, directly it would have happened in another way"

 

The two fall into a comfortable silence. 

 

"Do you ever miss the old times? You know, the times before the Guardians?" she asked him carefully. 

 

"I do. I miss those times a lot actually" 

 

"I know Ladybug was the one to face Chat Noir but I think he is having it harder than him. He remembers bits and pieces of what happened. He remembered bits and pieces of what tipped him off. It must have been bad if he destroyed everyone INCLUDING Hawk Moth. Maybe you could ask Master Fu to help him?" 

 

"I don't think he could help with this…" 

 

"You're right, maybe-" 

 

"Tikki! Where are you?" 

 

"Over here!" 

 

"I guess I'll get going then" Plagg says as he takes off to the Agreste mansion. 

 

He came back to Adrien who fell asleep with tears in his eyes. 

 

He sighs as he wipes the tears off his chosens face and snuggles up to him

 

And it ends.

 

Plagg zoomed out of where he was hiding in Adrien's shirt and floated in front of his face. 

 

"Kid, you need to breathe. You know the thing that humans have to do to survive? Kid? Are you listening? Just breathe. Please…." 

 

Adrien wasn't listening. All he could think about was another timeline where he had been akumatized and destroyed the city, including his Lady. He…. he had to give up his miraculous now that Hawk Moth knows who he is. He disappointed everyone. He disappointed his Father, like he always did, his Mother, he disappointed Master Fu and he disappointed his Lady. 

 

His lady was Marinette. 

 

Did he disappoint Plagg too? 

 

Before he could ask he felt consciousness slip away from his grasp and all he remembered was a sharp pain on the back of his head as he hit the floor.