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Ketchup, Kerfuffles and Kind of a LOT ok?

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Chucky:

HOLY MOLY EJ IS THAT YOU BACK ON THE ICE?

EJ:

YES IT ISSSSSSSSSS

Gabe:

OUR BOY IS BAAAAACK

EJ:

Trainers have said I can go to practise tomorrow as long as I’m nc

EJ:

:D :D :D

Hartsy:

Honestly, I think the only person happier than EJ that EJ is back on the ice

Hartsy:

Is Paul

EJ:

I’m not saying I’m antsy when I can’t skate

Sammy:

I can’t wait for you to be properly back <3

Cale:

None of us can wait.

Josty:

Literally all the baby d-boys are so excited.

Cale:

POPS IS COMING HOME OK

Cale:

It’s VERY exciting for us!

Chucky:

You got a timeline yet?

EJ:

Just taking it one day at a time.

Nate:

Oof, they just announced the suspension for Reeves hit. 2 games.

Nate:

🙄🙄🙄

Gabe:

Is this DoPS going “look at us, we’re not racists, promise!”

EJ:

It would be so much more convincing if they picked a player who didn’t actively promote parros’ clothing brand, y’know

Chucky:

Shit, does he really?

EJ:

Yep.

EJ:

And we wonder why he doesn’t get anywhere near the length of suspension that Naz did

Kaner:

DoPS is a fucking joke

Kaner:

Have you noticed how they’re announcing ALL of the suspensions/fines during games

Kaner:

BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE’RE GOING TO BE MAD ABOUT IT

Nate:

🙄🙄🙄

Nate:

Literally, so fucking done with them.

Kaner:

It’s pretty fucking clear they don’t actually give a shit about keeping us safe

Kaner:

They just want to do whatever will make the league the most cash

Tazer:

Next year. I’ll come back and keep you safe peeksy.

Kaner:

Except that doesn’t actually fucking help, because it just perpetuates the problem.

Tazer:

Well yeah, but it’ll make ME feel better about it

Kaner:

🙄 stop being part of the problem jonny :p

Chucky:

@leafs boys, sending you all hugs

Marns:

Thanks chuck

Chucky:

Can you hug my boy Davey please?

Marns:

“Your boy?”

Chucky:

Hush you. Give him a cuddle. He needs cuddles.

Marns:

Come to Toronto and give him a cuddle yourself….

Chucky:

You say that. If I could… I actually probably would.

Marns:

You’re crushing hard aren’t you chucky!

Matts:

I LOVE THIS, I’ve never known Chucky have a crush on ANYONE

Matts:

And now he has a crush on ONE OF OUR TEAMMATES

Chucky:

Shut up all of you.

Chucky:

It’s not a crush. I don’t DO crushes.

Davo:

🤔🤨

TBeauty:

Shut up Davo.

TBeauty:

@Marns, are you on cuddle duty?

Marns:

I mean no, but Freddie is?

Freddie:

We’re having goalie cuddles.

Freddie:

I’ve got your boy matthew.

Chucky:

:D thanks Fred.

Chucky:

Also Mouse, you can totally tease me about having a crush when you do something about yours… :P

Marns:

What, my crush on JT? Who I’m totally in a relationship with now.

Stromer:

WAIT WHAT?

Stromer:

SINCE WHEN?

JT:

😏

Marns:

I mean, it’s not even been two weeks yet so….

Stromer:

You totally saw him got hurt and realised you couldn’t live without him didn’t you

Marns:

…. Maybe…..?

Matts:

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Matts:

Does this make us the gayest team?

EJ:

NO!

Cale:

I think you’ll have to pry that title out of EJ’s cold dead hands

Hartsy:

Congrats JT/Mitch

Hartsy:

This totally means I get to send you fic about you being JT’s sugar baby now right?

Marns:

Go for it 🤣

Hartsy:

(spoiler alert, it contains a solid gold butt plug)

Marns:

🤣🤣🤣

JT:

I’m horrified.

JT:

HORRIFIED.

Marns:

Ok, so obviously I’m biased about who I actually want to win it

Marns:

But the idea that the ted lindsey is DEFINITELY GOING to a queer player this year

Nate:

😂

Davo:

I mean, it is kind of cool.

Drai:

Not the only person who is biased about who should win :P

Nate:

May the best sid win :P

EJ:

Nate’s just salty he isn’t going to win the lady byng two years running

Josty:

Not after his wii bowling stunt

Nate:

🙄🙄 are you boys ever going to forget about that?

Gabe:

NO!

Gabe:

It’s the best thing you’ve ever done.

Sid:

Any word on Naz’s appeal?

Gabe:

Appeal has been denied ☹ he’s going to the third party arbitrator.

Sid:

Jeeeezus. Like, they’re really doubling down on this one huh?

Gabe:

Apparently so.

Lacko:

QUICK. EVERYBODY CHEER FOR BOBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Lacko:

Gold medal sex tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime

Richie:

Thanks for that Eddie.

Lacko:

YOU’RE WELCOME

Lu:

I’m still a little bit in shock.

Lu:

Like, I honestly didn’t think these babies were capable of it.

Lu:

Like, some of these boys haven’t even been drafted yet

Segsy:

OMG. ACTUAL INFANTS

Lu:

Five of these babies of mine are born in 2000 or later

Richie:

WHAT?

Richie:

They can’t be older than 10!

Cartsy:

I hate to tell you this Mike, but 2000 was 21 years ago

Richie:

LIES.

Davo:

See! You didn’t need me after all Bobby!

Lu:

Rude of you not to be here anyway :P

Davo:

Tell all the boys how proud we are though.

Lu:

Half of them won’t care

Lu:

I shall tell the little ones that you and Sid are proud of them though

Lu:

I feel that’s who they’ll care about 🤣

Lacko:

RUDE. You can tell them I’m proud of them.

Lu:

YOU’RE NOT EVEN CANADIAN

Lacko:

But this is a team YOU made

Lacko:

So of COURSE I’m proud

Lu:

You’re so soft.

Lu:

But I am pretty proud of these boys

Lu:

Given most of them are infants who either haven’t played in the show or barely played in the show

Lu:

And they’re playing against the best players from other countries

Stromer:

What I’m amazed by…

Stromer:

Is that one of the leading goal scorers for the entire competition…

Stromer:

Is some British kid who didn’t make it out of the group stages!

Chucky:

Wait, really? How did a BRIT get the most goals?

Richie:

Probably because the rest of his team weren’t scoring any 🤣🤣

Kaner:

I can’t see how he won’t be getting at least an AHL contract this year

Stromer:

That’s the thing…. He’s an AZ draftee ☹

Latts:

Poor kid

Kaner:

Shit luck for him.

Stromer:

I kind of feel like keeping an eye on him

Stromer:

Reaching out if he DOES go to AZ

Willy:

Wait, is this kid queer?

Stromer:

Fuck knows 🤷♂️

Stromer:

But AZ is shit for everyone.

Latts:

A lot of European leagues are saying they won’t take him either

Latts:

Can’t risk “wasting” an import place on a brit.

Kaner:

I mean, you can’t blame them.

Kaner:

But all the same, seems a shame for the poor kid.

Stromer:

NEWS JUST IN

Stromer:

Nate might be ineligible for the lady byng

Stromer:

BUT MATTS GOT NOMINATED FOR THE SECOND YEAR RUNNING

Marns:

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Marns:

Auston Matthews-Byng

Matts:

I hate you.

Matts:

If I win. I’m going to mention you SPECIFICALLY in my speech

Matts:

Thanks to Mitch, for being my inspiration in how ladylike I am

Nate:

YOU REALISE IT’S NOT AN AWARD FOR BEING LADYLIKE YES?

Chucky:

…. I mean you SAY that…

Marns:

Are you messaging us from the Bahamas chucky?

Chucky:

I mean… yes?

Chucky:

It’s that or listen to Brades whine about his lovelife…. So honestly…

Matts:

How did you know chucky was in the Bahamas, are you stalking him Mouse?

Marns:

What, no? <link>

EJ:

HOLY THIRST TRAP BATMAN!

Matts:

OMG. A PICTURE OF YOU WITHOUT YOUR COMFORT TOWEL?

Chucky:

HOW MANY TIMES. I DON’T HAVE A COMFORT TOWEL

Marns:

You totally have a comfort towel

Marns:

Also you looking FLY Matty

Chucky:

Thanks.

Chucky:

I mean. It helps that Brades is next to me looking like a complete dork

Hartsy:

Don’t put yourself down, you look hawt.

Hartsy:

You sent it to your goalie?

Chucky:

Um. No?

Chucky:

I did send him a bunch of gifs of us hugging though…?

Hartsy:

You flirt in the weirdest ways.

Marns:

Is “sending clips of us on the ice” not your love language though?

Matts:

Can confirm. Is 100% how Chucky shows us love.

Matts:

Also, I’m going to share this in the leafs gc so your goalie can see it.

Cale:

You’re remarkably calm about the leafs having a new goalie.

Matts:

I don’t have a problem with Davey. He can play back up to Fred if he wants to

Cale:

…erm…

Cale:

(should I tell him?)

Marns:

Aus spends a LOT of the off season in denial. It’s ok. We’re used to it.

Freddie:

Although it is looking very likely I’m going to be moving

Matts:

NO IT ISN’T

Matts:

🙉🙉🙉🙉

Freddie:

So advice on where is fun to go :D

Matts:

TORONTO.

Matts:

💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍

Freddie:

And ldr tips would be appreciated as/when the time comes.

Matts:

WE WON’T NEED LDR TIPS IF WE LIVE IN THE SAME APARTMENT FREDDIE

Freddie:

*sigh*

Freddie:

I love you Aus.

Marns:

$100 says Aus is pouting rn

Freddie:

Of course he’s pouting right now.

Freddie:

It’s Auston. He’s always pouting.

Gabe:

So, I have a question…

Gabe:

Obviously, last summer, Josty threw a g/c party

Josty:

To introduce cale and carter to each other NON VIRTUALLY

Josty:

You can call me cupid if you want to

Cale:

Thanks. I don’t.

Gabe:

Anyway. So. I have a friend right….

Nate:

Is it Tyson?

Gabe:

It’s not Tyson

Nate:

Fake news. You don’t have any non brutes shaped friends.

Gabe:

WILL YOU SHUT IT NATHAN

Sid:

Oooooh. Full name. You’re in trouble.

Gabe:

AAAAANYWAY, said friend things interteam relationships are a bad plan

Gabe:

Aka, dating a teammate.

Willy:

YOUR FRIEND IS WRONG

Gabe:

I know my friend is wrong.

Gabe:

But none of the avs are dating each other

Gabe:

So I need to throw a party… and invite you all… so my friend can see how wholesome in team relationships are

Josty:

:O

Josty:

G.C. PARTY 2.0

Gabe:

Exactly

Staalsy:

Can I just say here and now

Staalsy:

I don’t like this plan

Staalsy:

And I think you should respect your “friends” wishes

Gabe:

Shut up Eric. You don’t get a vote.

Chucky:

I mean, on one hand, I totally disagree with people dating their teammates.

Chucky:

On the other hand… I lowkey want to set my brother up with one of his teammates

Chucky:

Aaaaand I love parties.

Chucky:

So I’m totally in.

Stromer:

GROUP CHAT PARTY 2.0 LETS DOOOO IIIIITTTTTTTT

Gabe:

Obviously, there’s going to be border issues etc etc to deal with

Gabe:

But I think we can make it work

Staalsy:

Well I’m not coming.

Gabe:

Yes you are Eric.

Gabe:

I’m going to need someone to volunteer to physically drag Eric to this party

Staalsy:

LOOK, he gave an EXCUSE, because he was too nice to say “I find you physically repulsive eric.”

Gabe:

He. Did. Not.

Gabe:

He and I have talked about this at GREAT LENGTH

Gabe:

And he said no, because he didn’t want to fuck up your friendship

Gabe:

And he didn’t see how dating another hockey player could even work

Gabe:

So I need the happy couples to all turn up and show him HOW PERFECT THE TWO OF YOU COULD BE TOGETHER

Staalsy:

And when he still says no?

Gabe:

IF. IF he still says no after that…

Gabe:

I promise to shut up about it forever and ever.

Marns:

JT and I can turn up and show what mature relationships where you actually talk to each other look like

JT:

…. Really mouse?

Marns:

We’re perfect babes.

JT:

…. You’re adorable.

Marns:

WE’RE adorable.

JT:

I’m pretty sure we’ve had a grand total of like, 2 serious conversations about our relationship

Marns:

I guarantee that is 2 more than Patty and teeks have had

Claude:

If TK were here he’d get mad that you said they had a relationship

Claude:

BUT, I think having a party to show healthy queer relationships is cool

Danny:

Yep.

Lu:

Will there be babies?

Lu:

I only want to go to a party if I get to cuddle babies.

Gabe:

Can totally provide babies of both the real variety, for you to cuddle…

Gabe:

And of the rookie variety for EJ to cuddle 😉

EJ:

You’re so thoughtful Gabe!

Sid:

Nice to see you out in a regular jersey EJ!

EJ:

Thanks :D Still not back in the lineup yet, but I’m getting there.

Sid:

Don’t rush it.

Sid:

Honestly, getting healthy is the most important thing.

EJ:

Management are being super supportive.

Sid:

Good.

TBeauts:

Late to the party as always

TBeauts:

BUT I AM TOTALLY ON BOARD FOR GC PARTY 2.0

Chucky:

Can I bring my brother?

Gabe:

As long as he promises not to out anyone, I don’t see why not

Hartsy:

ALSO, ARE YOU TRYING TO SET HIM UP WITH JIMMY STU?

Chucky:

😂 possibly

Chucky:

Have to work out if he’s straight first

Hartsy:

Drat could find out for us? Please?

Drai:

No.

Drai:

No I will not ask Tim invasive questions about his sexuality

Drai:

And no he is NOT allowed to date a Tkachuk.

Chucky:

I actually meant we have to work out if brady is straight first…

Chucky:

BUT THANKS FOR BEING SO PREJUDICED AGAINST US DRAT :P

Hartsy:

Surely brady should know if brady is straight or not?

Chucky:

YOU WOULD THINK THAT WOULDN’T YOU

Chucky:

But honestly, neither of us can fucking work out WHAT the hell brady is

Chucky:

Except unfortunately in love with a german

Cale:

Wait, why is it unfortunate?

Cale:

ALSO please tell brady I totally ship him and Jimmy, and so does EVERYONE else in the world.

Chucky:

It’s unfortunate because James is german.

Drai:

His name. Is. Tim.

Chucky:

😂 He LIKES being called James/Jimmy

Chucky:

He ALSO likes TKACHUKS

Drai:

Clearly he has been stopping too many pucks with his head. >:/

Stromer:

WOOOOOO CALE JUICE FOR THE NORRISSSSSSSSSS         

Cale:

😳😳😳

Cale:

Honestly, I’m amazed. There are SO MANY amazing d-men in our league

Cale:

I’m not sure why they’ve picked me

Hartsy:

Because you too, are amazing babes.

Hartsy:

AMAZING.

EJ:

Your boyf is right. You totally deserve that

Gabe:

FUCKING SUPERSTAR

Gabe:

SUPERSTAR

Gabe:

<3

Sammy:

SO PROUD OF YOU MAKARS

Sid:

I say this as someone with a best friend who is a d-man…

Sid:

There’s no one in this league who deserves this more than you Cale

Cale:

🥺

Cale:

You guys.

Nate:

True facts bro.

Nate:

Cale Makar for the damn Norris trophy <3