When he got to his room, Choi Han went back to the gloomy thoughts that appeared in his mind over what Ron had said.
«How could you dare touch him if he doesn't love you! The young master isn't your toy to do this to him! Even if he pretends it doesn't bother him, you're a total bastard if you're buying into this!»
‘Ron's right. I'm a total bastard.’
Choi Han was desperate.
‘What was I thinking when I agreed to this plan?’
He couldn't tell Cale to stop after all they had done already.
He couldn't confess to Cale.
He also couldn't continue.
It wasn't right.
‘But I have to keep going…’
The way they cuddled with Cale. The kisses they'd had. Sex... He absolutely didn't deserve any of the things that had happened to him in the last few days. It was absolutely wonderful, and he did it all without worrying that his feelings weren't reciprocated because he'd almost forgotten about it.
Was he using Cale? Was he forcing him to do unacceptable things?
Had he corrupted their friendship?
Choi Han felt sick.
He hoped that Cale wouldn't visit him again. Then maybe they would only sleep together one more time and be able to reduce such contact to the necessary minimum in public.
Choi Han went over and over these thoughts in his head in an attempt to find a solution.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Cale slowly walked into the room.
Silence hung overhead.
Cale looked at Choi Han with a strange look that he could not interpret. Then he walked over to him, standing by the bed.
Choi Han wanted to break this strange silence.
«You said we could talk later.»
Cale sat down beside him, turned to him, and tilted his head slightly, looking into Choi Han's eyes.
«Yes. You wanted to say something.»
Choi Han didn't even know what he wanted to say anymore.
All thoughts had flown from his mind since he had seen Cale.
The dark feeling was coming back.
Still, he must hold on. Cale had come just to talk.
Just to talk...?
Cale slowly unbuttoned his shirt with a poker face.
Choi Han grabbed Cale, who was already halfway through unbuttoning his shirt, by the arms.
«We don't have to do this every day.»
For a second, Choi Han thought that Cale looked frustrated.
Then Cale took a deep breath and replied.
«We don't have to.»
Choi Han relaxed.
«But I want to do this.»
Since when does Cale openly say that he wants...
Choi Han blushed.
«And you don't?»
Cale lowered his eyes expressively down at Choi Han's pants, and the corners of his lips went up slightly.
Choi Han couldn't think of anything to say.
Meanwhile, Cale was looking at Choi Han's pants, and something strange was beginning to reappear in his expression.
Cale was sitting under a tree in the same glade, thinking. He was replaying moments from the past in his head, trying to figure out when it had happened.
When Choi Han came to him during the Sealed God test, and Cale ran out to meet him, not paying attention to anything around him, thinking only of him, unable to believe his happiness?
When Choi Han received Choi Jun Soo's memories and began to understand him better than even Cale understood himself?
When Choi Han put his complete trust in him, having received his oath at the Temple of the God of Death?
When Choi Han told Cale that he would pay him back for the food?
When Cale saw Choi Han's Korean appearance in this unfamiliar world and finally felt at peace, even though he couldn't realize it?
Or maybe when Kim Rok Soo was yet reading the novel?
Cale didn't know. Now it seemed to him that this feeling had always been with him.
As he finally stood up, he realized that it had been a few hours. He slowly wandered back to the house.
Surfacing again from the records of the past, Cale realized he was standing at the door to Choi Han's room. After knocking, he went inside.
Choi Han was sitting on the bed.
Cale's heart raced again at the sight of him.
For some reason, Choi Han seemed upset.
Cale could only keep thinking about how much he wanted to be close to Choi Han. How much he wanted to just say those words to him, and hear them back.
But that was impossible.
Cale stood beside the bed and heard Choi Han's voice, who wasn't looking at Cale.
«You said we could talk later.»
Sitting down next to him, Cale caught his gaze.
«Yes. You wanted to say something.»
Choi Han's gaze gradually turned darker and darker, filled with desire. From the very moment he saw Cale...
Cale felt as if something sharp had jabbed into his chest.
‘And yet it's only this body that turns him on.’
Cale knew that he, Kim Rok Soo, was important to Choi Han, but it was only this body that caused his lust and desire. Which meant he definitely didn't love him...
‘I can use this.’
Cale thought about the fact that if Choi Han likes it, they can go on. Even if Choi Han will never have the same feelings for him that he has for Choi Han.
Cale began to slowly unbutton his shirt, feeling at the same time sad and strangely excited.
Choi Han's hands intercepted Cale's arms, stopping him.
«We don't have to do this every day.»
‘Does he still think it makes me uncomfortable?’
Cale sighed and replied.
«We don't have to. But I want to do it.»
Choi Han blushed at his honest comment.
«And you don't?»
Cale saw the bulge on Choi Han's pants. Now that Cale understood what he was feeling, he didn't need to think up an explanation for himself why he wanted to do this.
He knew that he just wanted to please Choi Han.
And he knew he wanted to touch his cock himself, even though the thought made him blush and ask himself if he was sane.
Cale slowly descended to the floor, kneeling between Choi Han's legs.
He wanted to do it again.
Because he wanted to feel that taste one more time.
And because he remembered how out of control Choi Han had been of his actions the last time.
Now he was going to act even grander.
In silence, Cale unbuttoned Choi Han's pants. The hot object immediately was in front of his face. Pulling Choi Han's legs wider apart, Cale moved closer to him and slowly pulled off own shirt so it remained on the hands behind his back. His arm movements were now restrained.
Cale's heart pounded at a wild pace.
He was on his knees in front of Choi Han, with his hands tied, ready to give him a blow job.
Cale knew that Choi Han would be consumed by that strange condition again. That was exactly what Cale wanted. He wasn't going to give Choi Han time to think about all sorts of stupid things, like why Cale was doing what he was doing and why they should continue.
He looked up at Choi Han, gazing into his eyes. Indeed he was breathing heavily, following Cale with eyes that no longer showed any trace of doubt or reflection.
Without averting his gaze, Cale ran his tongue over the head of Choi Han's cock. He bit his lip, watching Cale's actions closely.
Which leaned lower, turning his head and running his lips along the entire length. Stopping at the head, he licked it once more before raising his head and staring playfully at Choi Han.
«Are you still against it?»
Cale tilted his head slightly to the side, which made his hair slip softly over his bare shoulders.
It was too much. In a dry, raspy voice, Choi Han answered.
Cale smiled brightly and leaned toward Choi Han's cock.
He lightly touched the head with his lips and continued kissing it, going even lower. Choi Han's pants were getting in the way a little, but that only made Cale even more aroused.
As he made his way down the length and back, Cale began to gently lick the head with the movements of his tongue in a circular motion. Periodically he turned his gaze upward and Choi Han could see the picture that was tearing his mind into millions of little pieces.
Alternating between sliding tongue movements and kisses, Cale excitedly gave pleasure to Choi Han.
‘Only I will be giving him such sensations. Choi Han is mine, mine, only mine, mine, mine, mine…’
Some part of his mind replayed a fragment where Choi Han's voice spoke "... mine..." but the recording intertwined with his own thoughts, merging into a single sound.
Choi Han let out a moan that sounded more like a snarl.
Until they really did turn into a roar, with which he ran his hand through Сale's hair and pulled him forward.
Choi Han's movement was careful, but Cale could feel his hand shaking with exertion, as if he was putting all his effort into not snapping.
Choi Han wanted his cock as deep in Cale's mouth as possible.
And Cale opened his mouth, tantalizingly slowly taking Choi Han's hot tool into it.
They looked into each other's eyes.
Cale moaned muffled with emotion.
He couldn't stand that look in Choi Han's eyes. Cale knew that after he came, he wouldn't stop. After that, he would lash out at Cale again.
These thoughts drove him crazy.
He felt as if Choi Han needed him just as much as he needed Choi Han.
As he saw the greedy, dark, desire-filled look in Choi Han's eyes, Cale tried to take his cock even deeper.
‘No, it's just too big, after all.’
It didn't even fit halfway.
‘Should I practice for next time?’
Cale pulled his head back a little, so that only the tip of cock remained in his mouth - but he was prevented from pulling away completely by Choi Han's hand, with which he returned Cale's head to its previous position in a rather abrupt motion.
Cale's vision went black.
Choi Han's right hand rested on the back of his neck.
With still gentle but indomitable movements, Choi Han began to fuck Cale in the mouth.
‘That...that calculating bastard!!!’
Cale was outraged.
Actually, Cale was fascinated.
Choi Han waited until Cale himself determined the depth to which he was capable of taking him.
Then he stopped holding back.
And even so, thrusting into Cale's mouth, Choi Han perfectly measured the distance so that he wasn't uncomfortable.
Cale could trust Choi Han completely.
For a moment, Cale felt the hot object in his mouth tense. Choi Han froze, clutching his hands on Cale's neck and head. Cale moved back slightly, leaving only the head of cock in his mouth and caressing it with his tongue. Choi Han let go his hands, leaning back and clutching his hands on the sheets.
And then, finally, Cale felt the viscous substance shoot out onto his tongue.
Slowly, teasingly, Cale slid his lips off the head, taking in most of the cum. Nevertheless, some still spilled out of the corner of his mouth.
Lifting his head, Cale looked up at Choi Han. He gulped, swallowing his cum, then licked his mouth, trying to get at the spilled drops.
Choi Han's passion-clouded mind tried to memorize every detail.
Cale's hair was messed up by Choi Han's actions, the detached strands shining with fire as the light fell on them. Choi Han glared at one that stuck just below Cale's lips, where a translucent white substance flowed down his chin. Cale's torso was naked, and Choi Han could see that his shoulders were as red as his cheeks. The shirt was erotically restricting Cale's movements, preventing him from helping himself with his hands.
Cale looked into Choi Han's eyes with a strange, totally crazy look. It was as if he was in his own little universe, but at the same time, Choi Han felt that Cale was thinking only of him.
Choi Han reached out, wiping the cum off his chin with his thumb, then slowly sliding his finger between Cale's lips. The latter immediately wrapped his lips around it, sucking and making indecent half moans.
Choi Han could see nothing around him but Cale. His mind was focused on only one thought.
‘I want him.’
With a sudden movement, Choi Han stood up, dragging Cale with him. Pulling off his shirt, Choi Han spun them around. They were now facing the bed and Choi Han was hugging Cale from behind.
Pulling both of Cale's arms forward and slightly upward and deftly and firmly tying them with shirt, Choi Han pushed Cale downward.
Cale found himself face down in the sheet, with his knees on the edge of the bed. He was half lying, half kneeling, stretched awkwardly forward with his hands tied around his elbows, with his ass erotically lifted up.
Choi Han unbuttoned Cale's pants and pulled them down.
‘In that position...?’
Cale didn't have time to finish the thought before two of Choi Han's fingers entered him at once. Apparently, the rest of the tube of oil was involved, because they were not dry.
Choi Han began impatiently stretching his ass with fingers, already adding a third.
Cale gasped - from the emotion, from the tension of the pose that required him to keep it up physically, from the excitement of the unknown.
He couldn't see Choi Han's face or his actions, it was impossible for him to turn his head back from this position.
Suddenly Cale felt the touch of a rough, calloused hand on his cock. At the same time, the fingers disappeared from his ass, and Cale felt the soft touch of something else.
Tension shot through Cale's body like fire.
‘Come on, come on, come on...!’
Choi Han was definitely slowing down on purpose. It was as if he was waiting for something.
‘Ah, so that's what you're up to…’
Cale couldn't see the look on Choi Han's face.
«Please, enter me.»
Cale's face flashed red as he said this phrase.
Choi Han exhaled heavily.
Without yet even finishing his sentence, Choi Han moved forward with a sharp motion. Cale screamed.
He was not in pain, but his whole body tingled with exertion. In the silence, seeing only the white sheet in front of him, Cale involuntarily focused on the sounds. His own heartbeat, the light rustling of clothes, Choi Han's heavy breathing, the absolutely obscene slapping sounds that came with every forward motion he made... And the accompanied half-cry half-moaning of Cale himself.It seemed to Cale that he would burn with emotion.
It must be normal to want to give yourself completely to the person you love, isn't it?
After all, is it okay if his feelings aren't reciprocated if that person is there for him?
Cale wanted to see Choi Han's face.
Choi Han wasn't thinking about anything.
His mind was plunged into absolute darkness.
It felt as if there was an illusion of something beautiful in front of you, but try to touch it and it would disappear.
Choi Han didn't know whether he was feeling despair or pleasure right now.
‘Cale-nim, Cale-nim, Cale-nim…’
Choi Han deliberately forced Cale into an uncomfortable posture.
He wanted him to be outraged and push him away.
But Cale just held on with the last of his strength.
He wondered what was pushing Cale to behave this way?
Why was his tone, when he said today that he loved Choi Han, so effortless?
Could it be that his feelings were mutual?
What should Choi Han do with this seething darkness that boils in his heart, unable to escape?
Choi Han, putting one knee on the bed, leaned closer to Cale and whispered.
«You're only mine.»
Cale shuddered with his whole body beneath him.
«You're only mine, Cale-nim.»
‘If he says yes, I'll confess.’
There was no answer.
Choi Han stepped back, freeing Cale from the sweet torture.
Cale gasped in surprise, falling over on his side after Choi Han stopped holding on to his thigh. But before he could recover, Choi Han lifted Cale into his arms and laid him down on the bed, and then began to undress himself.
Cale looked away.
‘Why did he say that…’
Cale wanted to respond to Choi Han's intemperate retort, but chose to simply ignore it.
Clearly, Choi Han just said it in the heat of passion. If Cale responded positively, he might have questions.
Choi Han climbed onto the bed to Cale, untied his arms, and sat down between his legs, lifting Cale's thighs, resting them on his lap.
Cale was finally able to see Choi Han normally.
Choi Han was looking at him, but he didn't see him. The expression on his face seemed a bit desperate.
‘I'm an idiot…’
Today's scene popped into Cale's mind.
Choi Han flinched. His gaze cleared up a little.
«Don't worry. Ron is judging the situation from his side.»
Cale reached out his hand to Choi Han's face, caressing his cheek in a gentle motion. Life appeared in Choi Han's eyes and he blushed a little.
«He sees me as his ward and you as someone I suddenly brought home at eighteen. Do you know how strange the situation looks from the outside?»
Cale was silent for a moment, and then he got to the main point.
«It probably bothers you that we're doing this without love, doesn't it?»
It was hard for Cale to say that sentence, but he had to.
Choi Han nodded slowly.
«We both enjoy it, so what's wrong with that? We'll be married, and no one will even mind. So why bother?»
Choi Han looked Cale in the eyes.
«We can just do what we like.»
Choi Han opened his mouth, hesitated, and then asked.
«Do you really enjoy this?»
Cale smiled softly, answering.
Choi Han closed his eyes for a second, and then his usual innocent smile appeared on his face.
At that moment, Choi Han thought.
‘He doesn't love me.’
Choi Han played with Cale's nipple with his tongue, his right hand engaging his cock.
With slow, smooth movements, he made Cale whimper from the sensations as Choi Han's cock touched his prostate.
Choi Han was experiencing twofold feelings.
Cale was right. If Cale himself really enjoys everything, they can do whatever they want. If they like sleeping together, they can do it. In their home world, a lot of people slept together without love, so what?
On the other hand, he was just rejected.
From the outside, it might have seemed like Choi Han should feel despair at this news, but in fact he was even a little relieved.
He hadn't counted on Cale's reciprocity to begin with, and now the situation was crystal clear.
Cale liked the sex, and he's counting on Choi Han as a permanent partner.
‘Friends with benefits?’
Yeah, something like that. Friends with benefits about to get married.
Choi Han grinned slightly, running his tongue in a line from nipple to collarbone.
Cale let out a quiet moan - he no longer had the strength for loud ones.
This was the second round.
After they made their little pact, Choi Han rushed over to kiss Cale.
They kissed like it was their first time - passionately, messily, panting. Finally both were not constrained by an agreement to practice, just enjoying each other.
When it became impossible to endure, after breaking the kiss, Choi Han came inside Cale again. His movements were quick and sharp.
«Choi Han... Choi Han!»
Choi Han kissed Cale again, silencing him. Cale wrapped his arms around Choi Han's shoulders as he moved, holding Cale's thigh with his right hand and helping him with his cock with his left.
Then they both came to a finale.
When Choi Han pulled away from Cale, they both continued to look into each other's eyes.
And then they kissed again.
Now, Choi Han, in contrast to what had just happened, fucked Cale slowly, literally torturing him with pleasure.
Feeling once again that he was on edge, Choi Han managed to pull away, and, pressing his and Cale's cocks against each other, brought them both to their final point in a few motions.
Breathing heavily, Cale looked down.
His stomach and chest were painted white.
Cale blushed. Choi Han commented confusedly.
«I'm sorry, Cale-nim.»
«That's all right.»
Cale stared thoughtfully at the ceiling.
«I don't have to go back to my room anymore, do I?»
Choi Han looked at Cale with a puzzled look before realizing that Hans already knew everything.
«I'll get a pillow from your room when I clean up the mess.»
Choi Han and Cale were smiling at each other.