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what if we do something stupid and fall in love?

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“Man,” Jacob whines from the floor. They are both in Kevin’s parent’s unfinished basement, empty beer bottles littering the tables. “Did I tell you I found the perfect apartment last week? Like, I shit you not,” Kevin raises an eyebrow at Jacob’s sudden pause, the other man letting out a particularly foul burp. He wrinkles his brow at the noise, takes a meaningful sip from his own beer.  “It was like a block away from my dance studio—”

“The one with the really nice flooring and vending machines?” Kevin interrupts, peering over the edge of the couch to stare down at his best friend. “How the fuck does anyone near there have any vacancies? It’s always full.”

Jacob gestures wildly, and if Kevin squints he thinks it’s out of agreement. “Exactly! And, dude, they have a balcony. Like, a huge balcony on the south side of the apartment. Meaning I can bring my kids.” 

“Buddy, you know I hate it when you refer to your plants as your kids, it’s kinda weird and you sound like a middle aged white woman,” Kevin sighs. 

Jacob slaps at his thigh blindly, coming dangerously close to Kevin’s family jewels. Once he finishes waving off Jacob’s onslaught of attacks and briefly considers the pros and cons of ordering a cup on Amazon, he ruffles his friend’s hair softly. 

“You have to get it, dude, like— you’d be set for life. There’s that really good burger joint on the corner too,” Kevin says dreamily, getting lost in thoughts of a good meal. 

“I don’t think I can, off-campus housing isn’t available until sophomore year…” Jacob whines, pressing his cheek against the cold floor. “Unless you’re married or living with your parents as a dependent.”

Kevin downs the rest of his beer with a noise of acknowledgment. “I wanna see this place that’s got you all bent out of shape.”

“I can get my friend to set up another tour for you to come with,” Jacob huffs, forcing himself upright. “I’ll call him in the morning when I don’t feel like swan diving off of your parent’s roof.”

 


 

Sure enough, Jacob wakes Kevin up at precisely too fucking early the next morning, completely uncaring about all of his moaning and groaning. He’s on the phone with someone, rattling off something about how they will be there soon, and Kevin’s really not into whatever the fuck is going on right now.

The sock on his left foot is barely even on anymore and the right one has completely gone missing, his boxers are twisted, and he’s pretty sure he’s got eye crusties that rival his parent’s neighbors’ ancient ass cat. In other words, he’s entirely not in any shape to participate in human interaction for at least two hours, and yet here Jacob is. Yanking him out of bed by the ankles even as he flails and grasps blindly at the headboard, his knees hitting the floor with a dull thud.

“If you wanted me on my knees, you could have just asked,” Kevin gripes, rubbing at the brand new sore spot on his leg. 

Jacob rolls his eyes at him and throws a pile of clothing at his face before walking out of his room. “Sorry, that was my best friend— yeah, the one coming along today. Don’t mind him, he’s much more personable after noon,” he hears Jacob reassuring someone over the phone. He can’t even be mad, because it’s pretty accurate, especially if he’d spent the night before drinking the way they had.

He huffs and puffs and stomps around like a toddler as he weasels himself into suspiciously tight jeans and a… weirdly conservative sweater. Rolling his eyes at Jacob’s tasteless outfit but unwilling to dig for a different something, he marches downstairs to see Jacob huffing by the front door. 

“Kevin, please, Joshua only has an hour before his next client needs him, can you please hurry up,” Jacob whines, catching Kevin off guard mid-cereal pour. He frowns longingly at the bowl of Pops and dumps it back into the bag, whispering a sweet farewell as he begrudgingly allows Jacob to finger comb his unkempt hair while he stuffs his feet into the first pair of shoes he can find. He doesn’t even care that he’s wearing his sister’s pink slides, he just wishes it were later in the day and his head wasn’t pounding like a fat, angry dwarf with a knack for in-home renovations had just moved in.

“You owe me breakfast,” Kevin sulks from the passenger side of Jacob’s busted up Camry. He can feel something digging into his ass, and he squirms until the illusion of comfort has been achieved. If he looks down, he can see what appears to be a ukulele and about 17 styrofoam cups, as well as two Monopoly bills with completely faded print. “Your car is a wreck, what the fuck—”

He’s toeing aside a half-open container of chicken nuggets, cringing at the overall filth as Jacob drops himself into the driver's side. “Please let me clean your car, I’m literally begging.” 

Jacob just rolls his eyes at him like his words mean nothing, fat fingering the radio stations until he settles on the classic— politics radio about American politics. How he even managed to get a connection to an American radio station, Kevin will never know, but it is entertaining to hear the absolute buffoonery going on. 

The apartment isn’t terribly far from Kevin’s parents’ house, and honestly— it’s much closer to campus than he currently is, so score one for Jacob. As they drive into the small parking complex, Kevin stares up at the cute little buildings barely four stories tall. He knows Jacob had been hoping to secure one of these elusive apartments for ages, a sick desperation to be just that bit closer to everything he needs. They had passed by a really good international foods store on the way in too, and Kevin has hope that Jacob can find the stuff for some good, home cooked home food

They pull in next to a suspiciously well cared for Nissan, directly in front of one of the small apartment buildings. Kevin can see the little balconies above them and honestly— even at first glance, this place has so much potential to be a lovely little home. 

He’s introduced to Joshua, a real estate agent and friend of Jacob’s somehow, and if Kevin had the mindset to blatantly ignore the gold band he can see sparkling on Joshua’s hand he would be flirting. As it is, he’s having a decidedly hard time not swooning over the way his biceps are bulging under the tight, fitted button up.

“So, Jacob has already seen the apartment obviously, so I’m just here to answer any questions you might have,” Joshua explains gently. Kevin is having major trouble trying to bite down the is that ring for show? sitting on the tip of his tongue, and apparently Jacob notices, because there’s suddenly a freakishly pointy elbow digging into his spine. He winces, trying to play it off with a cough at Joshua’s concerned glance, and kicks Jacob in the shin in response. 

“Sounds great, boss man,” Kevin mock-salutes, following both of them up the stairs to the third floor. Joshua stops in front of a quaint little door with the ugliest welcome mat Kevin has ever seen and lets them in with a flourish. 

The inside is entirely better than the ugly door mat, and that’s laying it on easy. Kevin is immediately welcomed into a sweet little entryway with built-in storage and a pass-through into the kitchen, right where the sink is. When he looks to his right, he understands the pass through even more because the view lines up perfectly with the window on the far wall. 

“Look, Jake, you can do the dishes and get a view. It’s like the farmhouse kitchen you’ve always dreamed of,” Kevin teases, boldly eyeing the granite countertops and dark-stained cabinets. Ample storage space everywhere it appears. There’s even a nifty little cabinet in the corner that spins so you can use the entirety of it. Nice. 

“Fuck you, I had a dream about one once. You don’t hear me constantly bringing up that time you dreamed you were sucking my—” Jacob rants, only barely managing to stop himself. The damage has been done though, because Joshua is excusing himself out the door with a cough and decidedly flushed cheeks. “See? Now look what you’ve done, you’ve made Joshua get all weird.”

Kevin rears around and levels Jacob with a dirty stare. “Me? You’re the one who brought up my wet dream from 8th grade. Low move, dick,” he grumbles, stomping off to enjoy the almost floor to ceiling windows in the open living room. “At least this place gets good light, you might be able to keep your overinflated ego alive this time.” 

Jacob looks like he wants to retort but manages to keep his mouth shut. Hah. Score one, Kevin. 

“Does it come furnished?” Kevin asks, fingers trailing over the particularly expensive looking couch. Jacob shrugs, calling Joshua’s name at such a volume that the neighbor slaps the wall in retaliation. Joshua lets himself back in with squinted eyes, looking entirely ready to start scolding them for being like children, but Jacob beats him to the whole speaking thing. 

“Did you say whether the apartment comes as is or not? Like, is it furnished?” Jacob asks as Kevin wanders off. He peeks his head in the bathroom and nearly moans at the sight of the glorious bathtub. He wants to climb in it right now just to see if it’s as big as it looks— and when Jacob wanders into the bathroom to find him folding his oversized legs into the bathtub, well, he should have expected this. 

“Kevin, what the fuck are you doing?” Jacob sighs. “Also yes, it comes furnished.” 

Kevin hums in acknowledgment, too busy trying to stretch out comfortably in the tub. And— ah, yes, there's the spot. “Dude… it can fit a whole me in it,” he intones softly, rubbing his hands along the edge of the bathtub. “If you don’t get this place, I will.” 

“You haven’t even seen the whole place,” Jacob whines, dragging Kevin out of the bathroom. He doesn’t loosen his hold on Kevin’s hand until they are in the master bedroom, a surprisingly large space considering the overall apartment size. And just off the side of the master falls the infamous balcony

The second Kevin throws open the doors and steps out onto the little area, he can see why Jacob fell in love with it. It’s a great size, the previous tenants having left a decent sized table and set of chairs outside, and it gets so much sun that Kevin nearly feels blinded by the light. (He’s definitely not humming that song in his head as he stares longingly at the inviting space of the apartment. Nope, not at all.) 

“Dude… you have to get this place,” Kevin moans pathetically as Joshua locks the apartment up behind them. “It’s not fair, why can’t we live here now?” 

Jacob shrugs, and they both wave goodbye to Joshua as he climbs into his pricey Nissan and drives off. “I don’t know… I just feel like I wasted Joshua’s time considering that I can’t even move off campus right now.”

They sit in Jacob’s car, staring forlornly up at the building. Kevin’s stomach rumbles loudly, breaking the melancholy atmosphere, and he’s suddenly reminded about Jacob dragging him away from his Pops this morning. 

“Hey, dickhead, you owe me food,” Kevin reminds, already looking up restaurants near them. His eyes zero in on a quiet little coffee shop barely a mile away, and he steers Jacob in that direction as he daydreams about a good coffee and an even better scone. He’s a man of class sometimes. 

The little coffee shop smells delicious when they make it inside, Kevin immediately racking his hip on a table. “Fuck,” he whines under his breath, rubbing at the sore spot as he stares at the menu. “Just get me an iced americano, I guess. I’m gonna be a basic bitch today— oh, and I want a blueberry scone,” Kevin grins at Jacob with his best puppy dog eyes. It works like a charm, Jacob sighing and running off to get in line as Kevin drops himself onto a little two seater couch. 

He occupies himself with social media for the most part— until he’s randomly reminded of how Jacob had mentioned that off-campus housing was available for married students. Floored, he starts searching for the information online and— sure enough, there it is. 

He wonders if it would be a foolish move to propose marriage to his best friend for an apartment — but it’s a really good apartment. Jacob would probably be set for life if he never planned on moving out of the city, and honestly, he wouldn’t mind sharing an apartment like that with his best friend. 

When Jacob makes his way back to the little couch, two coffees in hand and Kevin’s prized scone in the other, he’s nearly vibrating with his ingenious idea. He’s forever thankful that he’s committed to the joke of wearing the really ugly ring his sister had won him from a little game machine around his neck as an accessory, because now he has the perfect opportunity to drive Jacob absolutely insane. 

“You’re in luck, they only had one of your stupid blueberry scones—” Jacob stops, staring wide eyed as Kevin does the unthinkable. He’s got the cheap little ring in one hand as he drops dramatically onto one knee, a blinding grin and a waggle of his eyebrows sealing the deal. Jacob looks like he’s about three seconds away from kicking him in the face, heat spreading through his cheeks as Kevin continues.

“What the fuck are you doing, get up,” Jacob hisses, trying valiantly to ignore the shop patrons staring at them. Kevin can see a little old lady filming them on her phone in the corner of his eye, so he steps it up and plays his role perfectly

“Jake, Cobie, my other half,” he starts, theatrics in full bloom. “I know how much that apartment means to you now, how important it would be for you and the kids to have…”

He takes a breath, a pause for the dramatic he is at heart, before he looks up at Jacob from under his lashes. “But… if you would allow me the honor of being the reason you could have such a lovely homestead, well, it would just make my day. Say yes to the apartment Jacob.”

Jacob is definitely about to kick him in the face, but the people watching are starting to cheer them on, and at this point he’s stuck. Kevin grins, holding the ring up higher as his free hand plucks the scone out of Jacob’s clenching grip. 

“Married students can live off campus, Jake,” Kevin whispers as he shoves the ring gracelessly on whatever finger it’ll fit on. No one is close enough to witness the true strangeness of the entire situation thankfully, and when Jacob heaves a tired sigh but doesn’t throw the ring away, the little shop erupts into cheers and claps. 

Thankfully, Jacob is able to curl up on the little couch with his coffee after the entire ordeal, glaring daggers at the side of Kevin’s head. “What the fuck was that?” his best friend gripes, twisting the plastic ring around his finger. 

“If we get legally married, you can move off campus,” Kevin answers like it’s that simple. “You wanted to live there, and frankly, I’m not opposed to rooming with you,” he continues as he makes meaningful eye contact with Jacob. “So, let's get married. I’d marry you for less, Bae.”

Jacob sighs, leaning back against the couch. “But why would you make a scene?” Kevin hears him whine. “You know I hate it when people look at me like that—”

“You’re a professional dancer,” Kevin interrupts. “People looking at you like that is just part of it.”

“You know that’s not what I meant, asshat,” Jacob elbows Kevin in the ribs and he wheezes, clinging desperately to his half eaten scone. 

He hovers protectively over his coffee and sweet treat as Jacob threatens to hit him again. “Stop hitting me, man, I just wanted to make it fun! I’ll even buy you a better ring someday!” Kevin pouts. “C’mon, seriously, it’s not like either of us wanted to get married during school anyways. We can just get it annulled or something in like two years.”

“You can’t get an annulment in Canada unless you marry a sibling, it was a shotgun wedding, or neither of us can consummate our marriage-” Jacob recites almost robotically, and really, why the fuck does he know that?

“I don’t even want to know why you know all of that, but, okay buddy,” he huffs. “The point is, you want to live off campus, you gotta do stupid shit! Like get married to your best pal right here. I’m literally offering you a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“If the opportunity is being married to you, I’m not sure it’s worth it,” Jacob deadpans. 

Kevin gasps at the harsh words and clutches at his chest like a scandalized Victorian maiden. “You wound me,” he cries. “I’m a catch and you know it.”

“You cried because your parents demolished the bathtub when they renovated the bathroom last month,” Jacob points out, and okay. That’s fair. “Your last girlfriend got jealous that you were better on a pole than she could ever be, too, does that count as a catch?”

He puffs up with pride at the reminder in some sort of sick alpha male tendency. “You’re damn right I was better than her,” he hums. “And yes , that makes me a catch. Don’t you want to see the way my legs look?”

Jacob rolls his eyes, swallowing down the last of his coffee. He watches as Jacob throws the cup away, stretching his arms and neck until there’s a satisfying collection of cracks and pops echoing around them that drives Kevin only partly insane. 

“Well, c’mon then fiancé, it appears we have a wedding to plan.” Jacob calls, extending out a ringed hand to tug Kevin to his feet. He swoons like the drama queen he is, falling clumsily into Jacob’s arms just so he can hear the patrons ooh and ahh once more before they make their escape. 

“You’re so good to me, Jake,” Kevin simpers, batting his eyelashes coquettishly up at his best friend. “We should honeymoon in Korea.”

Jacob shoves him away at that, nearly propelling him into the street with the force of it. “Shut up, we aren’t honeymooning anywhere. Except for that nice little apartment. Wait—” Jacob exclaims, startling Kevin mid conversation. “I need to call Josh and tell him I need that apartment.”

“We haven’t even gotten married yet,” Kevin whines. He drops himself lamely into Jacob’s little car, wrinkling his nose in disgust again at the mess. “As your soon to be husband, this has to change.”

“Do you think that between the two of us we have like… $300?” Jacob blurts randomly, staring down at his phone. Kevin sighs as his pleas for a clean vehicle go ignored once more, shrugging his shoulders. He might have money in his savings—

He’s already halfway into checking his bank account when he realizes he doesn’t even know why he’s looking for money. “Why do we need $300?”

“You planned a spur of the moment proposal, and you don’t even know how much a wedding costs?” Jacob questions, staring directly at Kevin. 

Oh. That makes sense. If he’s being completely honest, he hadn’t exactly expected Jacob to go along with his stupid idea, but apparently, now that the embarrassment has worn off, he’s on board. Cool. 

“Do I need to tell my parents their only son is getting married?” Kevin wonders aloud. “I feel like they won’t even be surprised, it’s you after all.”

Jacob snorts, dropping his phone in the cupholder. “Well, I have $200, so if you have at least $100, we can get this done.”

“Damn, can’t even take me on a date first? And here I thought you were a catch. And yes, I have the rest of the money,” Kevin huffs, buckling himself in. 

“You’re underestimating my desire to rent that apartment, Kev,” Jacob laughs, throwing the car in reverse. “Let’s get married.”

 


 

Jacob drives them to— well, somewhere, because  Kevin has no fucking idea where they are going, really. But he follows diligently when Jacob clambers out of the car, and he tries not to act too shocked when he finds his hand being swallowed up in Jacob’s grip. 

They’ve held hands before, it shouldn't be weird for them— and yet, for some reason, Kevin is being a little weird. His palms are sweaty and his knees feel a little weak, but it’s fine. It’s totally fine. Mom’s spaghetti, his brain helpfully hums. 

He’s pulled into a relatively official-looking building, and as the sweet voiced woman behind the counter asks if they are here to get a marriage license, it suddenly makes sense. 

Jacob is ever the charmer, leaning over the counter on one elbow as he turns to grin back at Kevin, sweet, sweet platonic love sparkling in his eyes. 

“Yeah, we’re here to get a marriage license— we’ve been thinking about it for a while,” Jacob laughs, tugging Kevin forward and nearly pulling him off his feet. He pouts at the gesture as Jacob continues speaking. “I’m pretty sure we have everything we need; valid forms of ID and some general information?” 

The lady is sweet as she rattles off the exact information they need to supply, voice chipper as she explains the overall process. She’s even lovely enough to point them towards where they will need to look to find a commissioner who’ll actually complete the whole process— and 20 minutes later and $100 shorter, they have a marriage license. 

It starts to feel a little bit strange and surreal when it hits Kevin that he’s legitimately getting married to his best friend— but, it’s all good. They’ve been close since diapers, and realistically they know each other’s worst habits by now, up to and including the way Jacob sometimes likes to leave his questionable laundry all over the living room couch at his parent’s house. 

So he’s not worried that he’s making a mistake, far from it. He has a teenie tiny concern that maybe things might get a little awkward if either of them meet a potential partner on campus, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it. 

For now, he sets his sights on texting his sister, asking if she will come… do a thing with them. He’s purposefully vague because he knows she’s going to rat him out to their parents if he tells her, and honestly, he needs to be married before his mother tries to strangle him with a wooden spoon. 

Jacob is pouting down at his phone as search after search comes up blank on available time slots, and Kevin is starting to worry that it’s going to take a few days and they are going to miss out on the apartment. But then— just when he’s about to give up, a search comes back with the golden opportunity. 

There’s a commissioner located not far from Stanley Park with a time slot ready— and just like that, Kevin has a set time for his wedding. They are getting married at 4 in the afternoon on a Wednesday, and the only people who are going to know are themselves, the commissioner, and apparently their siblings. 

“Dude,” Kevin whispers after his sister confirms she will be wherever she needs to be when he needs her. “We’re getting married.”

Jacob snorts, looking down at the shitty little plastic ring on his finger. “You owe me a better ring, by the way,” he teases. “I’m too pretty for this and you know it.”

Of course that is what Jacob chooses to focus on right now— the beauty standards of a toy from Walmart. Kevin rolls his eyes, fiddling with his phone as the weight of the situation really sets in. 

“Does this make me a step-dad?” He wonders suddenly, thinking of Jacob’s copious plants. He’s not ready to be a dad— he can’t even make himself instant noodles without fucking up. “I don’t know how to take care of plants.” 

Jacob fixes him with a look, eyes narrowed. “You are not touching my kids, buddy. You’ll end up killing them.” 

Reality finally, truly sinks in— that they are getting married. Like, 100% real, legitimate marriage. And he’s wearing his sister’s pink fucking slides and a shit-brown sweater. 

Jake,” Kevin whines, looking down at his stupid fucking shoes. “I can't get married to you like this.”

“You showed up to junior prom in socks and sandals my dude, I promise you this is not your worst look.” 

Kevin whines even more, staring forlornly at the sight that awaits him. “I really wish you would stop bringing that up. I lost a bet, damnit!” He stomps his foot, the crunching of a styrofoam cup catching him off guard. “I haven’t lost a bet this time! It’s my wedding damnit, I should look presentable at the very least.” 

“You’re fine, we aren’t even getting pictures done,” Jacob says, as if it’s that simple. As if that is the final answer. Kevin heaves a long suffering sigh, pouting down at his hands as Jacob drives them to Stanley Park. 

When they get there, his sister’s car is already parked and honestly— Kevin is a little bit twitchy over how she’s going to react. Jacob parks his crappy little Camry next to Stella’s much nicer looking convertible, because he enjoys being shamed for having an ugly car, apparently. 

Stella is making eyes at them from her car, and Kevin flat out refuses to meet her eyes. In his blatant avoidance, he sees who he assumes is their commissioner standing off in the general area of the park entrance, and just as he’s considering running, Jacob’s brother pulls in behind them. Well, game on, he figures. 

Jacob has their license in hand as he walks up to the commissioner, head held high like there’s nothing to be embarrassed about— and so Kevin feeds off of that energy. For all the times he’s confident and cool and collected, he’s just prone to weird and sudden bouts of anxiety like everyone else. So, despite his confidence earlier, he’s clinging close to Jacob as they walk through the park towards a little tree that seems nice and he’s definitely rambling about a bunch of nonsense. 

His sister fits a hand around his arm, tugging him back to her side with a charming smile that Kevin can see right through. “What the hell are we doing out here?” she hisses under her breath. Kevin gulps— how does he tell his sister he’s getting spur-of-the-moment married to his best friend? 

“You gotta promise that you won’t tell mom and dad,” Kevin whispers back, squeezing her hand tightly. She winces, pinching at his skin in retaliation. “Seriously, promise me— I’ll do whatever you want for two months.” 

“You drive a hard bargain, Kev, sounds like you’re doing something stupid,” she manages. “But okay— I’ll keep your little secret.” 

He’s thankful he can trust Stella, considering the amount of dirt they’ve collected on each other over years of teenage rebellion. 

“I’m engaged,” he blurts, barely eloquent. He side-eyes his sister’s reaction, and really, she just looks confused and shocked. 

Stella blinks at him, looks down at his hand. Looks towards Jacob and then back at him. “You’re what?” 

“It’s not like that— Jacob and I are just…” he trails off, refusing to meet his sister’s eyes. “He found a really good apartment off campus—“

“But you can't live off campus as a freshman unless you’re married,” Stella interrupts. Kevin nods, flushing under the weight of her stare. “Well. That’s a stupid thing to do.” 

He frowns, getting ready to whine and cry about how he’s just helping out a friend— “But honestly, props to you, little dude. Fuck the system.” 

Oh. Oh. Kevin is once again reminded that Stella is arguably the best sister ever. “Hell yeah. I proposed to him with that stupid ring we got like 5 years ago from that Walmart dispenser—“

“The one you wore around your neck?” Stella laughs, shoving him away. “You’re so cheap.” 

They catch up to Jacob and his brother after that, the commissioner already getting everything ready— and honestly, in less than an hour, Kevin will be a taken man according to the government. Jeff seems like he’s apparently been filled in as well, because he doesn’t make too much of a fuss when the commissioner tells them that they are here as witnesses of the ceremony, although that term is used loosely. 

The hardest thing to get through is, ironically enough, not the cheesy declarations of love or even the exchanging of rings that neither of them prepared for. It’s the fact that Kevin has to look Jacob in the eyes and plant one on him in front of their siblings. The commissioner has no idea that their marriage isn’t for love purposes, so Kevin straps on his big boy shoes and cups Jacob’s cheeks the way he’s seen lovers do in the movies, sealing their lips together in a kiss that should feel awkward. 

He’s never kissed Jacob before, and it’s like a little secret they both share together, both smiling as they pull apart. Stella and Jeff both make retching noises in the background, pulling a startled laugh from the commissioner as he happily explains that all that’s left is signing the license. It’s so weird to know that Jacob and he are sharing so many firsts in ways he had never imagined. 

As the commissioner waves them off, he can’t help but think about all of the times back in high school where they thought that they would fall in love with each other. Everyone expected it— and yet it never happened. Kevin and Jacob never became KevinAndJacob, always existing separately but just close enough to stay in each other’s orbits as the years dragged on and they got older. 

Stella and Jeff end up treating them to a celebratory dinner, although really the only thing worth celebrating is the snazzy new apartment they’re soon to possess. He’s forever thankful that his parents know extremely little about the college system in the West, so Kevin doesn’t have to make up some sort of elaborate lie about moving out. 

It doesn’t erase the strangeness that comes over him later that night when he tells his parents that he’s moving in with Jacob soon. It resides in the air around him as he looks at his messy room, at the bookshelf full of a lifetime of memories. 

He wonders what merging his life with Jacob will be like— will it finally tear their friendship apart, or will they be able to maneuver the strain of sharing a space together? 

Kevin sighs as he tucks himself into bed later that night, unable to stop his brain from wandering. He’s sure everything will be fine— they've overcome worse in the past. 

 


 

The next few weeks go by in a swampy mess of essays, assignments, and juggling paperwork for apartments and off-campus living— but finally, almost a month after their sweet little marriage, they have the keys in hand and a truck full of moving boxes parked outside. 

The absolute first thing he does is chuck the hideous welcome mat directly into the garbage can. He knows he’s not going to be able to physically handle the ugly thing existing in his general vicinity, even if Jacob thinks he’s crazy. But Jacob’s opinions about his weirdness don’t matter. 

Kevin shoulders open the door into their brand new apartment, once again blown away by the bright open space as he balances an armful of heavy boxes. He hadn’t noticed on his first look through that the apartment had two bedrooms, but now that he’s happy and lucky enough to have his own room, he’s perfectly content to overfill the space with his possessions. 

He’s got the smaller room of the two— which is fair. Jacob has more things and the apartment was his idea anyways. Plus, he needs room for his many children—  which Kevin can see him carting down the hallway very carefully. 

It’s going to be a long weekend of up and down treks, carrying heavy boxes and unwieldy furniture, but it’s going to be amazing. Kevin found his bluetooth speaker buried in one of the boxes and now he’s got Beyoncé’s best playing loud and proud in the wide-open space, keeping him entertained as he rifles through the boxes. 

Jacob’s first nightmare comes in the form of digging his plant stand pieces out of miscellaneous boxes, and Kevin ends up laughing when he sees Jacob sprawled out on the floor with a defeated look on his face. 

“Already outsmarted by IKEA furniture? C’mon, babes, you’re better than this,” Kevin teases, nudging Jacob with a socked foot. 

“I used all of my intelligence taking it apart,” Jacob whines, slapping at Kevin’s thigh until he stops. “I can't believe I lost the instructions.”

Kevin frowns sympathetically, but he’s not feeling sorry enough for Jacob to tell him that he can look up the instructions online. Instead, he thinks he can take much enjoyment out of watching his best friend-slash-husband suffer. It’s always been a favorite pastime of his. 

He ends up leaving Jacob to wallow pathetically on the floor of his bedroom, setting his mind on retrieving some of the kitchenware instead.  

Neither of them had much in the way of items for their kitchen, but Kevin’s parents had a second set of dishware and utensils tucked far back in the garage that they were more than willing to part with. At the very least, it means they don’t have to eat off of their tiny little table or the countertops. 

His stomach rumbles loudly, a reminder of the slowly creeping hunger, so he figures Jacob is probably hungry as well. Somewhere in all of this mess, he’s sure he can find something that’s relatively easy to make— considering they don’t own any appliances. Sure, they have the fridge that came with the apartment, but the shitty microwave Kevin snatched up in a yard sale last week is buried somewhere in the back of the truck. 

“Hey, Jake,” Kevin yells across the apartment, head buried in their almost empty fridge. Ah, yes, the tasty lunch that could be questionable quality deli meat and bread dangerously close to expiring, coming together into a threatening sandwich. “What are we going to do for lunch?” 

“What do we have?” Jacob yells back, voice carrying throughout the apartment. 

Kevin makes a grand sweep of the whole-lotta-nothing going on in the kitchen, thinking distantly about the cup noodles buried deep in the back of the moving truck. Neither of them had the sense to maybe make sure their necessities were on the front end, and now they get to deal with the consequences of their admittedly stupid actions. 

“Well,” Kevin huffs. “Not much unless you enjoy moldy bread and ham that smells vaguely like a foot. Why did we even bring this?” 

There’s a distant crash echoing through the apartment, Jacob cursing as he stumbles into the kitchen with a pout. He’s not even entirely sure he wants to ask, considering Jacob isn’t normally a clumsy dude, and yet—

“Did you just trip over your plant stand?” Kevin gasps anyway. 

“The Magic 8 ball would tell you yes,” Jacob deadpans, rubbing at his shin. “What are we going to eat? I feel like I’m withering away.”

He gestures vaguely to the empty kitchen, frowning as his stomach rumbles again. “Wanna order something?”

They eventually settle on ordering in a ridiculous amount of takeout from some chain restaurant up the road, content to stock their kitchen with enough leftovers to get them through the weekend. Their first evening in their new apartment already showcases the fact that they are two college-aged men with zero survival skills. 

He doesn’t even want to unpack anything else, he just wants to die in a hole somewhere and wave a magic wand until everything they own ends up exactly where they want it. Probably in the reverse order, or— that’s what would make more sense. As he looks around at their steadily growing mountain of trash and his sparsely decorated bedroom, he decides he’s going to give that bathtub in the other room its maiden voyage. 

“Gonna go take a bath,” Kevin shouts as he shuts himself in the bathroom. Jacob barely even acknowledges him, halfway through unpacking his computer set up in the living room. He thinks he hears a response, but whatever it was ends up drowned out by the exquisite sound of piping hot water filling up the bathtub. 

It feels largely euphoric to sink down into the scalding water, his skin pinking up almost immediately from the heat. It’s been so long since he’s truly enjoyed a bath that could comfortably fit his gangly limbed self, and honestly, he’s not sure he ever wants to leave. 

He’s got a book, a champagne glass that he found in one of the cabinets full of Dr. Pepper and at least an hour of sweet, sweet relaxation to enjoy. Not even Jacob swearing at his computer through the walls is enough to break the personal nirvana he’s reached.

 


 

It takes a couple of weeks for the apartment to truly start feeling like home, although Kevin will admit that tripping over Jacob’s seemingly endless amount of plants is becoming the worst part of the experience. He ends up spending the majority of his time nestled on the charming little balcony with his laptop and headphones on, a portable keyboard in his lap and a jam sesh going strong. 

He finds the most inspiration when the sun beats down on him, the bees sometimes buzzing dangerously close by in their desperate search for Jacob’s plants. At first, he had been terrified of the fuzzy little bastards, but then Jacob assured him that they wouldn’t hurt him unless he messed with them— so he resolutely ignores their presence. 

Jacob spends most of his free time at the dance studio, filming little dance covers for his Youtube channel— one that Kevin has always happily edited his videos for. Jacob’s income is one of the only things keeping them in the apartment, and at this point, something needs to change. Kevin figures he probably needs to get a job for himself soon. Like right now, as he frowns at their still barren fridge. They can’t really afford much aside from instant noodles in bulk at the moment, and although Stella and Jeff had dropped by with care packages overwhelmingly stuffed full of food, it’s a tight budget. 

Kevin has decidedly more free time than Jacob does at any point, so he’s more than happy to be the part time breadwinner of the house. Call him old fashioned, but he really likes the idea of providing for his legal-husband and their forty-seven children. 

He makes somewhat okay cash selling his beats, but he needs a lot of them for school. It leaves him tragically limited on what he can pawn off to struggling entertainment companies. 

He ends up catching a lucky break and snagging a job at a dance studio a little further away, teaching the way of the pole to hopeful young adults alongside a fierce-eyed girl named Yeji— and honestly, his years on the pole are definitely paying off. It was always a hobby for him, an easy-to-him way to stay in shape, but now that he’s teaching, it’s decidedly more challenging and fun. He and Yeji get along swimmingly from the start, and with her choreography skills and his technical ability, together they make a wonderful little team. 

It quickly becomes his favorite way to pass the time, his Wednesday through Saturday evenings swallowed in ungraceful limbs and unsteady bodies on the poles. A lot of people think it should be easy— grab the pole, spin around a little bit, violà. They are always caught off guard by the sheer amount of upper body and core strength required, but the few that do stick around in his classes find that it’s a sort of dedication, and a worthwhile one at that. 

It always kills him— because Jacob, of all people, is one of the ones who doesn’t take Kevin’s hobby-turned-job seriously. 

“Dude, you’re like the size of a toothpick. How hard can it really be?” Jacob jokes over dinner one night, waving his hand vaguely towards Kevin’s person. 

“It’s not easy, like, at all. Also, just because I’m built like your dream twink doesn’t mean I’m not strong,” Kevin berates, stabbing his fork into a particularly innocent piece of salad. “And besides the point— how many female pole dancers have you seen with bodybuilder arms?”

Jacob ponders that thought for a while, clearly stumped by the question. “Touché,” he eventually settles on. The conversation moves on from there— at least until Jacob decides to remedy that. 

“Isn't it kind of… basic and limiting?” Jacob asks, and considering the abrupt subject change, Kevin has zero idea what he’s talking about. 

“What?” he asks, leaning back in the chair and pushing around a forkful of noodles. He’s full already, but he’s trying to remind himself that eating is good and he can’t survive off of one salad a day. 

Jacob fixes him with a look of exasperation, seemingly peeved that Kevin can’t read his mind. 

“Pole dancing,” he explains. “Aren't you kind of limited?”

“In what way? In terms of pole work? Not really— there's tons of stuff on and off pole you can do to maintain attention,” Kevin frowns. “Why would you think it’s any more limited than any other form of dance?” 

He’s not used to the way Jacob seems so adamantly against his style of dancing— normally he’s very open and encouraging of everything. 

“How about you come with me to one of my classes next week? It might give you a new look on it versus whatever stigma you’ve built up,” Kevin offers, finally taking a bite of the pasta that no longer interests him. “It can be our first husbands date.” 

“First of all, please never call it that again,” Jacob sighs, leveling Kevin with a withering glare. “Second of all— I don’t have a stigma, I just don’t get it.” 

He meets Jacob’s eyes with a purposeful stare of his own, lifting an eyebrow in challenge. “Well then, babe, I guess we shall see next week. You’re coming.” 

 


 

Kevin enjoys many things in life— one of them being watching Jacob suffer. Especially when he deserves it. 

They had gotten to Kevin’s little dance studio earlier than Kevin’s class was due to start, mostly so he can assist Jacob with the basics in private. Because as much as he enjoys seeing him suffer— he doesn’t want to embarrass Jacob. 

His best friend basically gets a private lesson for free, Kevin showing him proper grip technique and a few stretches that are good to learn before even thinking about getting on the pole. And then, because he’s a bastard, he steps back and gestures for Jacob to take over. 

“Show me what you’ve got, mister easy,” Kevin teases, watching with hawk-like eyes as Jacob suddenly loses all of that remarkable false bravado. 

Jacob’s grip is weak at best at his first attempt at… something. Kevin’s not even sure what it is he’s trying to do besides slide down it like a fireman. He has to smother a laugh when Jacob tries a spin and goes resolutely nowhere

“C’mon, I thought this was easy,” Kevin laughs, eyes twinkling with mirth as he watches Jacob try and fail repeatedly. Eventually though, he takes pity on him, because— well, this is his husband here. He can’t have him making him look bad in class.

He walks Jacob through the most basic steps, giving pointers and helping readjust where Jacob goes wrong each time, and by the time Yeji is slipping through the door, his friend is pouring sweat and has been cursing for ten minutes. 

“Ah, Kevin— didn’t know you were here early,” Yeji comments, looking over Jacob’s abysmal form with a quick once-over. She grins, all cat-like and feral as Jacob almost does something right. 

“Trying to teach my good buddy here that working the pole is nowhere near as easy as he thought,” Kevin throws over his shoulder, barely even paying Yeji any mind as she strips off her top and exposes her toned abs. He can feel Jacob’s eyes on him though, a subtle stinging in the air as his gaze flickers between him and Yeji in the background. 

He chooses to ignore whatever weird thing Jacob’s got going on and instead hip bumps him out of the way and takes his rightful place. One of his favorite ways to really get in the zone before class is to practice some of his favorite routines— and he’s thankful that Yeji is always on the same page. 

Kevin knows Jacob is watching as the music starts and Kevin takes off, moving almost effortlessly even though the strain in his arms is palpable in the space around them. He’s been practicing this piece for a couple of months now, a high energy number done by a girl group his sister loves. He just took the creative liberties and turned the hip hop leaning choreography and put his own spin on it— quite literally. 

He also knows without a doubt that he looks amazing like this, suspended upside down with only his thighs keeping him on the pole. He shoots Jacob a wink as he gracefully dismounts, pleased beyond belief to see that what used to be disinterest has morphed into an almost tangible feeling of interest and desire flickering in his eyes. 

If there’s one thing Kevin thrives on— it’s being desired. And he knows that Jacob thinks he’s at the very least a little bit sexy, considering the very stiff line of his shoulders and the redness tinting his cheeks. The weirdly open want reading across his face also helps, which is an expression Kevin hadn’t ever really thought much about on Jacob’s face. 

Jacob shifts from where he’s standing, tugging at his hoodie until it falls discreetly over what Kevin can only imagine is a half-mast erection. He’s good and can be well behaved most times, so he doesn’t tease Jacob for it. He even turns away and chats with Yeji for a little bit, eagerly discussing their plans for the students today and how class is going to go. 

The students slowly start filing in, most of them eager and happy to introduce themselves to Jacob. He watches with a reserved little smile, pleased to see Jacob quietly discussing different things with his little class of people— and he’s happy. He’s glad he brought Jacob along, because it feels like a learning and growing experience for them both. 

“Hey everyone,” Kevin calls out, grinning at the room full of students. He can see Jacob standing tall in the back, peeking out over the top of all the shorter girl’s heads and he shares a secret little smile with him. “We have a fun day ahead of us! Let’s warm up and get ready.” 

Their class goes by easy and fun, exactly as they had hoped when they planned a little day like this. Each of their students is getting to showcase some of their favorite conventional and unconventional moves, and Jacob is watching it all with an eagle-eye focused on the mirror. A few of the students are even sweet and kind enough to show Jacob a few little tricks and tips to get better, and while Kevin can tell it’s not just out of their desire to help a struggling classmate, he’s definitely appreciative. 

By the time their little block of time is coming to an end, the girls and Jacob have all formed a pretty good connection with each other and Jacob has a little bit more confidence when he messes around on the pole. Kevin claps him on the back as everyone packs up to leave, most of the students shouting goodbye’s as they leave. 

“So— how was that for easy and limiting,” Kevin jokes, brushing his sweaty hair back from his forehead. He really needs to see about getting it cut; it’s too long and it keeps getting to his eyes when the sweat weighs it down. 

Yeji of course disagrees with that unspoken thought and ruffles his disgusting hair as she makes her exit, throwing a teasing grin over her shoulder as she leaves. 

“Okay, okay, you win,” Jacob acquiesces, staring off in the distance towards where Yeji had left. “It’s definitely not easy, my arms are on fire.” 

Kevin laughs softly, grabbing his bag and nodding towards the door. “You wanna swing by that burger joint on the way home? My treat.” 

Jacob nearly tackles him in his haste to get out the door, leaving Kevin stumbling and cackling as he catches up behind him. He makes a mental note to ask Jacob about Yeji later— or rather, the apparent interest that he has. It’s going to be disappointing for Jacob when Kevin tells him the soul crushing truth— that she’s much more into girls than she would ever be into man meat. 





Fuck, that’s a good burger,” Jacob moans around a disgustingly large mouthful sometime later. 

Kevin isn’t necessarily impressed with his friend’s caveman tendencies, but he’s also not one to enforce table manners. He munches daintily at his own sandwich and bides his time— waiting for the right moment to discuss Jacob’s weird stare down towards Yeji today. 

“So,” Kevin starts, propping his chin up on his hands. He makes direct eye contact with Jacob, enjoying the way he squirms just a little bit. “Are you into Yeji?” 

Jacob chokes, glaring at Kevin from across the table. “Am I what?”

“You were staring at her all afternoon,” he shrugs. “I just wondered if you were into her.” 

“We’re married,” Jacob deadpans. Kevin levels him with a look and kicks his shin, enjoying the way his friend hisses from the pain. “And anyways, no? I thought you were into her—“

Kevin can't even stop the laugh that bursts out of him, loud and obnoxious. “Jacob, I dated two girls in high school and I cried when one of them took off her shirt. I cried at the sight of tits.” 

“Okay, and? Maybe that was just because you’re stupid,” Jacob retorts, expertly dodging another kick to the shin. 

“I mean, you’ve got me there,” Kevin jokes. “But no, that was a thing of the past. Not into the ladies— almost in the same way that Yeji is a raging lesbian.”

Jacob’s eyebrows furrow and Kevin can almost smell the smoke from the gears turning. “She’s a lesbian?” 

“Don’t sound so disappointed there, buddy. We’re married, after all,” Kevin snickers, taking a meaningful sip from his drink. “But yeah, she’s gay. Her girlfriend is super cute too, although she’s not as into dance as Yeji.” 

His best friend hums, processing the conversation in his own little way as they finish up dinner. When Kevin slides his card across the table towards the waitress, he winks at Jacob over their messy plates. 

“We should have date nights like this more often,” he teases. “I hear it’s good for married couples to have dates at least once a month.” 

He laughs as Jacob all but runs in his haste to leave Kevin behind. He’s still laughing as Jacob mumbles about getting a divorce the whole way home. 

It’s probably not the best thing to recommend, but at this point Kevin thinks everyone should marry their best friend. 

 


 

As the first semester draws to a close and leads into a nightmarish second half, Kevin finds himself swamped in assignments and extra classes on the weekends. He’s more than thankful for the money, and he’s happy to spend more time with Yeji— but he’s a bit exhausted. He’s got three different composition assignments to finish and he’s got less than two weeks to do it.  

Jacob hasn’t even been around the apartment much, gearing up for a competition next month with his dance team, and Kevin is starting to see the effect of the lack of proverbial sunshine around the apartment. His plants are drooping, barely getting enough attention to survive, and his favorite little one is demanding to be repotted and honestly— Kevin doesn’t know how to help. He’s half convinced if he so much as breathes on any of them they will wither away and die. 

He’s propped up lazily on the balcony when Jacob lets himself into the apartment late in the evening, half a dozen empty cans of coffee littering the table in front of him. Sure, maybe his heart is beating at 135 beats per minute right now, and maybe he feels like he can hear colors and taste sounds— but he’s got work to do. He simply doesn’t have time for sleep or even the thought of closing his eyes, and the only thing on his mind is finishing this god damn assignment so he can possibly go see a doctor for the heart palpitations. 

Kevin resolutely tunes out the sound of Jacob puttering around inside, several loud crashes and a muffled curse echoing through the sliding glass door. He just can’t seem to figure out what is missing for this piece. It just doesn’t sound right, and he’s never comfortable with anything less than his best. This isn’t his best— there’s got to be something else he can do to make the track feel complete. 

“Knock, knock,” Jacob calls hesitantly, the squeaking of the sliding door alerting him to his presence. 

Kevin doesn’t have the energy or capacity to offer much more than a “Nnnh,” in response, frustration seeping into his bones. He reaches lamely for one of his little cans of death and he’s pathetically upset to find out that he’s empty. 

He braves turning on the pouty eyes towards Jacob, but he should have known his friend would recognize the signs of complete and total self destruction and refuse to let it continue. 

“No more coffee for you— Jesus, what the fuck, Kevin, are these all triple shot?” Jacob cries out, scandalized, as he looks around at the corpses of his enemies. “Dude, you’re like… you’re gonna die if you don’t stop.” 

He whines pathetically as Jacob steals away all of the remains of his tragic endeavors, but the second he really stands up to try and fight him off, he realizes just how fucked up he feels. It brings on an almost violent surge of nausea and it vaguely feels like his heart may explode, so he gingerly deposits himself back onto the shabby little outdoor couch. 

“Here,” Jacob says, holding out a water bottle. He’s not sure where it came from, but he’s not going to turn it down either. “Drink it slowly, don’t chug it— you’ll make yourself sick.” 

Kevin pouts, sipping lamely at the water like a chastised child. He’s probably extremely dehydrated from the coffee basically running through him like a marathoner, so it’s the smart thing to do. 

Jacob makes sure all of his work on his laptop is saved before gently shutting it and putting it to the side. He makes himself comfortable beside Kevin on the tiny little couch and hums in approval when he brandishes the empty bottle with a sheepish look. 

He can’t even be that mad about Jacob forcing him out of work when he’s urged to lay across his best friend’s lap, rough fingers immediately combing gentle and soft through his messy hair. 

“I know you have deadlines, but I also kind of need you alive for this whole arrangement to work out,” Jacob whispers, brushing the hair away from Kevin’s sweaty forehead. “I don’t think the leasing office will care if I’m a widow.” 

“Only keeping me around for the apartment, I see,” Kevin croaks. He’s trying to avoid closing his eyes, not even because he needs to stay awake this time, more because of the way the world starts spinning every time he does. But Jacob’s hands in his hair are so relaxing and comforting that he’s not sure he’s going to make it. “You wound me, Bae.”

Jacob flicks his forehead for his sass, leaning back and stretching his legs out. Kevin takes the opportunity to curl that much closer into Jacob’s warmth, mirroring a position they used to abide by as children— his nose pressed snuggly against Jacob’s toned stomach. 

Somehow, even with all of the caffeine rushing through him, he feels relaxed enough to fall asleep. And when Jacob starts humming a soft little tune, it becomes even harder to resist the pull of the comfort enveloping him. 

“I would miss you,” Jacob mumbles into the cool night time breeze. “If you like— overdosed on caffeine, I would miss you.” 

“That’s good to know,” Kevin thinks he says, although even if it did leave his lips he’s not sure Jacob would have heard him. With the way he’s nearly smothering himself in Jacob’s torso, he’s not sure anything would be heard— but it’s okay, because they both know that Jacob is so much more than their jokes to him. 

They both fall silent as the city moves on a few floors down, cars honking and traffic noise barely enough to keep them awake. Kevin drifts in caffeine-infused strange dreams, curling up even closer as a breeze rushes past them and brings a chill to the air. He’ll unpack his desire to sleep curled around Jacob another time. 






When they inevitably wake up shivering and with aches in their necks and backs, it truly comes to no surprise. Kevin laughs softly  as he stretches out, all but purring like a content house cat— as much as he’s stiff in all of the wrong places, he had slept quite nicely. 

It’s too early in the morning for even considering being awake, so Kevin pushes Jacob towards his bedroom with a gentle nudge before he retires to his own room. If he has a harder time falling back to sleep without Jacob’s hand in his hair, that’s not going to be anything up for discussion. 

 


 

True to his joking words, they do take the extra time to enjoy a good dinner out at least once every couple of weeks. They usually mask its true identity under the guise of a celebration of sorts— whether it be a successful assignment completion or a particularly good dance practice on Jacob’s end. 

Jacob’s competition is bearing down on them now, and Kevin is more than content to spend any of his sparse free time sitting in on gruesome practices and rehearsals. He swears having Kevin sitting around ‘watching’ is a benefit, but at most he’s taking casual glances at the complexities of the formations while sparing his every waking thought and emotion on his major composition piece. 

He’s planning to choreograph something on the poles alongside Yeji’s genius, so he needs this song to be perfect— especially if he’s going to unveil it all at the same time. Jacob has no idea what he’s been working on this whole time, mostly because Kevin can be a little bit secretive about some things. And this is one of those things. 

There’s no real reason for him to be keeping it a surprise— but he guesses at least he wants to prove himself to Jacob. He wants to prove that maybe all of the things he had previously thought weren’t as black and white. 

Watching Jacob and his dance team now, he’s honestly blown away by the sheer complexity of the routine. 

He’s seen one of the smaller guys— Changmin, he thinks— quite literally flying over the rest of them, and at this point, if their team doesn’t win it’s completely unfair. He doesn’t even need to see the rest of the performances to know that Jacob’s team should win. He’s seen the bruises littering Jacob’s frame from when his friend chooses to walk around in loose fitting basketball shorts. Sometimes they ride up and he’s not sure how Jacob can handle that much abuse. 

Jacob grins at him through the mirror and it makes him laugh— he looks so boyish and silly in his oversized tank top and sagging shorts and Kevin’s not even sure how Jacob has managed to avoid a wardrobe malfunction. He has had a few glimpses of overly toned chest muscles though, and as sad as it is to admit, he feels dangerously close to screaming. Or doing something absolutely stupid like reenacting the scene of his introduction to lady-chest. 

He can see some of Jacob’s teammates glancing at him in the mirror in confusion and it makes sense considering that, until now, he hadn’t often dropped by to watch Jacob’s practices. He’s usually busy with his own lessons or school work— but aside from the mostly idle interest, he can feel eyes lingering on him from across the room and it makes him squirm from the intensity. 

When he finally finds out whose eyes are on him, he nearly laughs. It’s one of the assistants that helps choreograph the routines— and as pretty as she is, well, she’s a she. He’s not sure how she hasn’t picked up on his flamboyant gayness, but apparently she thinks she’s got a shot. 

He wonders if Jacob knows that she’s staring him down like he’s a delicious last meal, but then he has to wonder why does he care if Jacob knows? 

Kevin shrugs it off and pops his headphones back on, listening to the track he’s been working on again in the hopes of maybe finding the missing link. There’s a spot that almost feels empty, but he’s not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing— he could use it as a benefit during his choreography, but he’s not sure if he likes it. 

It’s easy to get so lost in the music that he doesn’t even notice that the practice has come to a close— at least, not until there’s a pretty manicured hand waving in front of his face. 

He quirks an eyebrow as his eyes glide up to the assistant’s face. Admittedly, he feels a little bad that he has no idea what her name is, but all she’s after is something he can’t offer, so it’s probably for the best. 

“Can I help you?” he asks when it becomes evident she’s not going to actually speak. Her cheeks flush and she stutters out an apology, ducking her head. 

“Sorry, I just—” she squeaks. Kevin feels awkward sitting in the corner with an obviously attractive girl trying to flirt with him. “I haven’t seen you around here much.” 

He can almost peek around her and see Jacob chatting with some of his friends, happy and content. And really sweaty apparently. He shakes that observation from his head and smiles at the girl instead, nodding towards Jacob. “I’m with that dick over there, he’s my roommate and I’m just here to cheer him on.” 

She giggles as if he’s just told the world's funniest joke, damn near twirling her hair around her finger. Bless her heart, but he’s really not interested. “That’s cool!” she says, over enthusiastically. It’s almost too much for him, too loud and too much . “I was actually wondering if you were free tonight…?”

He’s opening his mouth to answer when Jacob suddenly appears from nowhere and beats him to it. “Oh, sorry Charlotte, but we have a date tonight,” his best friend grins, shooting a wink at Kevin. He’s never in his life been more thankful for Jacob. 

“Oh,” she says, face falling dramatically at Jacob’s words. “I didn’t know you two were, like— that.” 

“What do you mean? We’re married,” Jacob pouts, played-up confusion thick in the air around them. Kevin has to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing, choosing instead to turn his twinkling eyes onto Jacob. To play up their little game even more, of course. 

By now, they’ve definitely caught the attention of the rest of Jacob’s team— evidently they didn’t know that Jacob is, in fact, married. It’s hilarious to watch them try to connect the dots, several of them glancing down to his hand as if hunting for a ring. 

“Oh, well—“ Charlotte stutters, turning her eyes skyward. “Have, uh, fun on your date. Happy marriage.” 

They share a quiet laugh as she walks off, Jacob eventually tugging him to his feet with a firm grip on his hands. “I hear we have a date to attend,” he whispers, grinning at his best friend. “Shall we?” 

“I need a shower,” Jacob whines, tugging at his sweat soaked shirt. “I feel disgusting— but after that… there’s takeout with our name on it.” 

Kevin rolls his eyes, gathers his laptop and lets himself be led out of the little dance studio with a sugary sweet hand held in his. He tells himself that Jacob’s team thinks they are married now, so PDA is just going to be another level to the overarching joke that their marriage is. Thankfully he’s perfectly content to walk the short distance to their apartment with their fingers interlaced— and Jacob’s hand only leaves his in order to jam the key into the lock. 

He wonders if Jacob had noticed they were still holding hands the entire walk home, even as they rounded the corner and the studio was far out of line of sight. He wonders if he cared. He wonders if it even matters— or if maybe he’s been deprived of substantial affection for so long that he’s over-examining things that don’t really matter. 

Yeah, that’s probably what it is. 

 


 

If there’s one thing Kevin hates, it’s being crammed into a too-small venue with stuffy clothing sticking to his body. He’s not a fan of the fact that apparently the dress code for Jacob’s competition is formal attire, as if they are witnessing Broadway in the making and not a bunch of sweaty men popping across the stage. 

To make it worse, there’s absolutely zero air conditioning in the building and Kevin can already feel himself sweating through the crisp button up he has on underneath his jacket. 

The formal attire does make some sense, he figures, because apparently there are some talent scouts lingering around from entertainment companies and professional dance teams alike. So at least if everyone is dressed relatively similarly, the performers can’t single out the odd one out and perform just for them. But that doesn’t mean Kevin has to enjoy it. In fact, he’s resolutely decided to do the exact opposite and be miserable instead. 

He’s secured himself a seat right in the front, two rows back from the stage and almost dead center as he eagerly awaits Jacob’s performance. He’d bypassed the little pamphlet with the performance schedule at the front, figuring it would be more fun to always be surprised as to what’s coming next. 

He watches with an idle interest as team after team performs— and honestly, as guilty as he feels for thinking it, he can’t help but truly believe none of them have anything on Jacob’s team. 

Their performance was always so much more clean, so much more intricate and refined to the point that even the practices and rehearsals looked like perfection— something they can thank Changmin for. The little bit that he knows about Changmin is that he eats, breathes, sleeps, and bleeds perfection to the core. Kevin admires it, and sometimes he even wishes he could be a little bit more like that. 

The announcer ever so casually introduces Jacob’s team, and Kevin leans forward in his seat at the notion of finally seeing the 100% completed stage. 

From the second that the boys step on the stage, the buzzing inside his head stops— he’s so intently focused on the tight leather pants Jacob has on that he barely even thinks about any of the others. 

It’s a fast paced, heavy and hard-hitting choreography that leaves him and everyone else in the room breathless as they are all left to watch on in awe. Changmin is quite literally soaring across the stage it seems, propelled forward from the arms of Jacob and another strong-looking dancer. He’s so glad he’s not a judge— there’s simply so much going on, in a good way of course, that he barely knows what to pay attention to. 

Does he watch his husband as he pops his chest muscles, as he isolates every muscle in his body? Or does he watch the other dancers moving in perfect synchronization? 

There’s also whoever that is tumbling across the stage quite gracefully, and as Kevin watches the performance come to an end— he’s thanking God, Jesus, any deity he can think of, that they succeeded without injury. 

The performance brings everyone to their feet, a full standing ovation and thundering applause as they all take a quick bow. He locks eyes with Jacob when he stands tall and proud on stage, sweat nearly pouring down his body, and he’s proud. He’s so incredibly proud of Jacob and the team that he can practically feel himself vibrating with the desire to run backstage immediately. 

But alas— he’s got to sit through the last few performances before Jacob can come fetch him while the judges deliberate, so he settles back down into the cramped chair and adjusts the top button on his shirt to leave him some room to breathe. 

His seat neighbors are still murmuring excitedly about the performance even as the rest of the competition presses on, and he’s not going to lie and say he doesn’t feel a little smug. Husband of the performing act benefits— he can feel a little proud of how well Jacob did. 

And when Jacob comes to collect him from the audience in all of his sweaty, leather-clad glory, Kevin feels even more smug when the people are suddenly whispering about them . Together. Them together is getting people going. He doesn’t mind even a little bit as he throws an arm around Jacob’s shoulder and grins at his best friend, leaving the whispering behind for the chaos that is backstage. 

There’s a hundred people bustling around, people in various stages of undress and exhaustion as fancy men in suits walk around the halls with their phones to their ears. Scouting times are always the craziest, and Kevin is thankful that Jacob is willing to hold him so close, because without him, he’d be swept away in the throng of people. 

They both pause when they make it into the room that Jacob’s team is holding hostage, Changmin chatting with a suit over in the far corner— and Kevin hopes it’s all good chatting. He was honestly nothing short of outstanding, so to see him with an opportunity budding at the surface is exciting. 

Jacob tugs him towards the others, flopping back on the couch with a sigh. “How did it look from out there? We were good… right?” 

Kevin frowns at the uncertainty in his tone, holding out his arms for Jacob to lean on. “You guys were amazing, seriously— no one could stop talking about you,” he assures, tucking his chin over the crown of Jacob’s head. “Why do you seem so nervous?” 

“I messed up,” Jacob whispers, voice meek. “I stumbled on a landing and ended up off time— and I guess I just hope it was only obvious to me.” 

He tries to think back over the performance, but to his professionally untrained eye, everything had seemed perfect. He even says as much, tugging Jacob in close, uncaring of his sweaty body pressed against his own. 

“I know for a fact no one in the audience noticed, they didn’t stop talking about you guys even when others were on stage,” Kevin promises, letting his eyes fall shut. “You guys were all anyone cared about.” 

“Thank you,” Jacob mumbles. Kevin let’s him relax for a bit, knowing the rest of the day is going to drag on from judge deliberation to scoring and award presentation to even the after party they all know is going to happen. Because at the end of the day, most of the local competition teams are made up of friends, neighbors and acquaintances— and it’s always fun to celebrate wins and losses together. 

Changmin is pink-cheeked and beaming when the suit he was chatting with leaves with a grin and one less business card tucked into his pocket. He dumps himself unceremoniously on the little sofa next to him and Jacob, and Kevin lifts an eyebrow at the dreamy look on his face as he stares at the ceiling. 

“They really want me to audition for their company,” Changmin whispers after some time. “And when I told them I wasn’t particularly interested in becoming an idol, they said they would be happy to take me on as a dance teacher.” 

Kevin’s eyebrows shoot up and even Jacob sits up a bit straighter, turning to face Changmin with a wild grin. 

“Dude that’s insane, you deserve this,” Jacob laughs, clapping Changmin on the back in celebration. “You have to take it—“

Changmin’s face falls at that, a soft sigh spilling from his lips. Kevin nudges him gently, throwing his free arm around Changmin and tugging him in close— because Changmin is a good friend of Jacob’s, and any of his friends that need comfort can get it from him too. 

“It’s not here,” he hears. “It’s back home— in Korea.” 

“Oh,” Kevin sighs. “That’s hard, I’m sorry. But… It’s a really good opportunity and I wouldn’t shove it aside until you’ve really weighed your options, bud.” 

“Yeah.”

They all fall quiet after that, Changmin content to stew in his own thoughts for the time being. Kevin keeps himself busy with his fingers in Jacob’s hair, pushing through the sweaty strands and untangling the mess, happy to hear the way Jacob makes a noise of contentment. 

It’s not even out of any weird desire to show off their ‘marriage’ as it is just Kevin loving tactile comfort and wanting to hold Jacob close. There’s nothing weird about that— he’s always wanted Jacob in his arms, or at least, for as long as he can remember that is. And maybe he likes it even more when Jacob hums softly and relaxes back even further into his embrace. 

His formal attire is decidedly informal at this point, wrinkled and nasty from Jacob’s sweaty body pressed against his, but he doesn’t care. The important part of the day is over— showing off for the scouts. At this point, he no longer cares about making a good impression. 

It feels like hours go by before an announcement is made and all teams are called back to the stage for the awards. He lets Jacob tug him to his feet with a bright smile, trying in vain to at least look presentable. He’s fidgeting with the wrinkly part of his shirt when Jacob’s fingers tug at his collar and lays it down flat, and now he’s fighting a blush for some reason. 

It’s never been uncommon for Jacob to act like this— and yet. Here he is, fighting the urge to squeal like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

“You guys are so cute,” Changmin huffs, rolling his eyes at the way Kevin’s wide eyed gaze turns on him. “I hope one day I have a relationship like yours.”

Jacob laughs at his friend’s words, but his eyes stay locked with Kevin’s and it feels weirdly intimate, even in the presence of all of their friends and Jacob’s teammates. 

He excuses himself with a cough, leaving Jacob and his cocky little smile in the dust as he fights his way back to the front hall towards the bathrooms. He feels like he needs to take a cold shower, but he settles instead for splashing cool water across his face, trying to calm down his overstimulated senses. 

Jacob hasn’t done anything necessarily different, nothing that should have him so twitchy and on edge aside from putting on a show for his friends. He wonders though, what about their behavior signifies it as nothing more than an act? Because nothing is really different, nothing has changed. They’ve always acted a bit too much like a couple for some people’s standards, so why does it feel different? 

He ends up shrugging it off as a combination of the stifling heat in the building and the knowledge that Jacob’s friends think they have a real, blossoming love and not a sham of a marriage for legal benefits. At this point, he feels like he’s going to go crazy overthinking about nothing

Of course Jacob is going to be more touchy-feely and clingy while his friends are watching. And it makes sense considering he’s doing the same thing— right? He’s only been extra clingy and affectionate when in front of Jacob’s friends. 

He chooses to ignore the many times he’s curled up close to Jacob on their couch, no one’s eyes but God’s on them. 

Making his way out of the bathroom, the hall where the awards are being given out is too packed for him to pick his way through. He contents himself with standing on the sidelines, leaning comfortably against the wall as the announcer rattles off different titles and trophies for different teams. It’s a long drawn out process until they get to the end of the line and the biggest and best awards are finally being given out. 

It feels like the world is moving in slow motion as Kevin anxiously awaits Jacob’s team to be called— and he’s not expecting anything less than first place, but he’s still on edge. What if the judges don’t see what the audience as a whole did? What if they really do cut them down for Jacob’s minuscule little stumble? 

He sees the way Jacob and Changmin leap into the air before he even registers the words echoing over the staticky speaker system. There’s a matching pair of blinding smiles on their faces, ones that Kevin can see even from this far away, and he knows without a doubt that they deserved nothing less. 

It feels special to watch Jacob and Changmin carry the trophy back to their little group of dancers, to see the way they all cheer and yell and celebrate. It feels special to see the way Jacob’s eyes sparkle in the harsh fluorescent lighting, irises dancing with the joys of hard work and long hours having paid off. 

He’s rushing backstage again before anyone can stop him and because of it, he’s the first one there to capture Jacob’s laughing form in his embrace. It doesn’t matter whose eyes are on them now, Kevin has his face buried in Jacob’s neck and he’s just so proud . He’s laughing with Jacob as he’s shuffled out of the line of traffic, too many hands and people wrapped around him— it’s a tangle of limbs of joy and happiness and he can’t even be upset about it. 

He knows just how hard Jacob and the team have worked for this opportunity, and that’s one of the main reasons he lets himself get swept up in the celebrations late into the night. 

It definitely has nothing to do with the sweet rosy cheeks and boyish smile Jacob has plastered on his face all night, turned up a handful of notches when he teasingly asks Kevin for another round of shots. As attention grabbing as Jacob may be— he swears his euphoria is a shared high from the good spirits around him. It’s not just because of Jacob

 


 

He finds himself making his debut of sorts with his own music at one of his evening classes with Yeji, a group of his students and Jacob watching with rapt interest as he sets up the start of a routine he created. 

He’s a bit shy with everyone’s eyes on him for some reason and the fact that everything is his creation only makes him more nervous— what if they don’t like it? What if they think he’s not as good as they thought before?

And Jacob — what if he doesn’t think it’s good? The idea of Jacob of all people not enjoying something he’s put his heart and soul into scares him. 

It’s admittedly a stupid thought to think somehow Jacob wouldn’t like something he does, so he’s perhaps a little bit emotional when he meets Jacob’s eyes after he finishes his impromptu little performance. His chest is heaving from the weight of his breathing, his eyes a little blurry from the weird emotion he can feel crawling up his throat— but Jacob seems to recognize this. He knows exactly what to say and do when Kevin gets like this, too caught up in his insecurities and worries to be rational. 

Jacob’s warm smile is all he needs, soft and sweet and comforting. 

“Honestly, I can't believe I ever thought this was something to scoff at,” Jacob huffs, rolling his eyes at his past self. “Like— that was amazing, Kevin. And I’m not just saying that because I’m legally obligated to.” 

Kevin is embarrassed to admit his lower lip is wobbling at the threat of his barely misty eyes turning into full-on waterworks, but thankfully Yeji breaks up the tear fest before it can really start. 

“Alright, alright, we get it— you’re both very in love and a little hopeless,” she drawls, looking entirely sarcastically unimpressed. “We’ve got a class to teach, so Jacob, unless you are staying as a student you need to hush, hush.”

“Yes ma’am,” Jacob salutes, retreating to the corner with a wink aimed directly at Kevin. He rolls his eyes at Jacob’s behavior, turning and starting the class for real. 

He doesn’t have time right now to unpack the weird bubbling in his gut. Another time, he swears. Just not right now. 

 


 

His sister calls him at the end of the class, demanding his presence at a spontaneous dinner. Apparently she hears him whisper apologetically to Jacob that he’s going to have to cancel their plans, because suddenly she’s yelling out loud enough for Jacob to hear through the receiver that he can come too. Suddenly their dinner date for two has turned into a late night rendezvous for three and he doesn’t know whether to be excited or nervous. 

“You really don’t have to come,” he whispers as they make their way towards the little restaurant Stella picked out. “Like, if you don’t want to, it’s fine. Stella won’t be upset.” 

“And miss out on a chance to hang out with your gorgeous sister? Not in a million years, babe,” Jacob jokes. “I guess you’re okay, too.” 

Kevin squints at his best friend, half unsure if he’s joking or not. “She’s married. And trying to have a baby.” 

“You make a fair point.” 

Kevin ignores Jacob the rest of the way there, giving him the silent treatment for his sass. When they arrive at the quaint little restaurant, Kevin’s stomach gurgles loudly at the prospect of food and he can’t help the way he feels embarrassed. 

“Have you been eating well?” Jacob asks. And Kevin tries not to be bothered. He knows Jacob means well when he asks, because sometimes Kevin forgets to take care of himself and he needs that little reminder. But right now— 

“I’m honestly just really hungry,” he settles on, offering Jacob a placating smile. “Really, I’m fine, but thank you, though. I know you’re just looking out.” 

Jacob hums and holds the door open for Kevin like a true gentleman, and it’s how he knows that his best friend is giving him a silent apology. He’s always good at making up for his sometimes blunt and harsh thoughts with little gestures of kindness and love, and Kevin can never hold a grudge. 

He’s already grinning and laughing again by the time they make it to Stella’s table tucked in the back, Jacob having made a crude joke on the way back and really, he can’t stay mad for long. Especially when he was never that mad to begin with. 

“There’s my two idiots,” Stella teases, opening her arms for a hug. “How are my two married babies doing? How’s your first year of college been?” 

When she sits back down, she props her chin up on her hands and leans forward over the table with her eyes sparkling and Kevin wonders if this is when he’ll get busted. If she’ll notice the weird tension he gets around Jacob sometimes when his brain is a little confused. 

Jacob rattles on happily about their competition win, about Changmin debating on accepting the offer to move overseas, about how classes have been kicking his ass, and the whole time, Kevin is staring at him with what he knows are massive heart eyes. He’s heard all of it, experienced most of it, but he can’t help how much he loves it when Jacob gets talking about things he’s fond of, things that make him happy. 

He tells Stella about his self-made performance earlier that evening, and to his absolute nightmare— Jacob appears to have a recording of it. He hadn’t asked Jacob to film it, and he hadn’t even seen Jacob holding up his phone to take the video, so he has absolutely zero idea of what he’s showing his sister right now. 

“Holy shit, Kevin,” Stella whispers in awe. Kevin feels himself puff up a little bit in pride, his not so secret love of praise making him a little crazy. “You made that yourself?” 

“Yeah,” he swallows thickly. “The song, the choreo, that was me.” 

“Damn, you’ve gotten so good… I’m proud of you,” Stella grins, patting him on the hand as she leans back. 

Jacob nudges him with his elbow under the table, and when he makes questioning eyes at him, Jacob simply shakes the phone in his hand. “Was it okay that I filmed it? I figured you might want to watch it, at some point.”

Curse him and his feeble emotional health. All Jacob has to do is pout and he’s wanting to burn the world to the ground if it might please him. 

“It’s fine, really,” he settles on saying. He’s afraid if he says anything else he’s going to word vomit about how much he loves him and right now, that’s dangerous. He’s emotionally volatile and full of weird thoughts and unloading them is not what he wants to do. “I was more surprised that you even managed to film it. I didn’t even see your phone!” 

Stella is watching them with eagle eyes as they bicker back and forth, and Kevin hates the shit-eating grin etched across her face. It usually means she’s up to no good, and that’s definitely a threat to his rapidly devolving sanity. He can’t deal with sweet Jacob and satanic bastard Stella. It’s just not possible for his fickle-minded self. 

“You two are cute,” she says easily. Like it’s easy. Like she hasn’t known Jacob since he was in diapers and toddling around their front yard. Like she doesn’t know it’s all just for show. “How come you never dated again?”

Kevin chokes at the same time Jacob goes beet red, mouth gaping like a fish. “We-“ Kevin starts. But then he quickly finds himself struggling for words, because really, why hadn’t they?

“Kevin’s honestly too good for me,” Jacob smiles. It feels like it’s supposed to be a joke, but when Kevin meets Jacob’s eyes, it doesn’t feel like a joke. Jacob’s eyes are serious, the intent behind his words loud and clear, and this isn’t fair. 

How is he meant to control his weird whatever thoughts when Jacob goes and makes his heart skip a beat? Why does it even affect him? He needs to do some serious soul searching and Stella’s eyes boring into him isn’t helping. 

“I don’t think that’s true,” Stella finally says, dropping the intense stare down with Kevin. “Honestly, if you came home and told mom and dad you married Jacob, they wouldn’t even question it.” 

The worst part about that is knowing that it’s true. Kevin is beyond embarrassed right now, cheeks flushing under the weight of two stares. He’s thankful that after that, Stella and Jacob drop that branch of conversation and the rest of dinner passes by relatively uneventfully. He doesn’t even give Jacob the chance to bring it up on the way home, chatting erratically about any and everything he can come up with. 

It’s a diversion tactic as strong as any, but Kevin is confused, a bit lost, and he really just needs to take a deep breath. From the moment they get home, Kevin locks himself away in his bedroom and flops face first on his mattress in misery, obsessing over the weird state his brain is in. 

He’s not sure when part of him had decided to start seeing Jacob as a viable opportunity for a relationship— or even what part of him does. Because deep down, he still can’t unleash the grip he has on their lifetime long friendship and the fact that Jacob has never been someone like that to him. 

But now, as he wallows in his own pity, he can’t help but long for Jacob’s comforting touch. It feels entirely different to the way he used to long for companionship and that scares him. Now, he wants everything Jacob can give him. He wants the hands in his hair, the weight of Jacob’s body against his as the cuddle close, bodies tangled in the sheets, Jacob’s hands on his body—

He has to stop himself there because it’s like the floodgates are about to burst, a rampaging current of inappropriate thoughts about his best friend leading the flood. Their marriage wasn’t supposed to be anything outside of convenience and yet here he is, longing for the sweetest brush of Jacob’s lips against his skin. 

Whatever— he can unpack these drifting thoughts at another point. For now, he needs to focus on the current, and that’s finishing up the tail end of their first year in college and gearing up for the onslaught of work over the summer. And his weird maybe-feelings for Jacob. 

 


 

The end of the second semester draws to a close with little more than a bang, and with it comes Changmin’s formal decision to pursue his dreams across the ocean and a time zone away. Jacob trudges into the apartment one night bearing the news and for once Kevin finds himself the one to comfort his best friend, snuggled up together in Jacob’s bed with Kevin’s hands in his hair. Jacob swears he’s happy for his friend, but he’s also sad to see the best dancer on their team go, a double edged sword through and through. 

With Changmin’s announcement of his imminent departure, however, comes the invitation to a farewell party— in other words, it’s a cheap excuse to get absolutely shit faced drunk and make some mistakes that will last a lifetime. 

Which is exactly how Kevin has found himself in this situation, giggly from too many beers and slouching all over Jacob. Sometimes he forgets that the rest of Jacob’s team and friends don’t know their relationship isn’t even one— they all think they are happily married and in love. It gives him a reason and an excuse for why he’s practically assaulting Jacob, face tucked in the crook of his neck. 

His internal excuses only go so far, though. There’s no real reason he should be ghosting the weight of his lips across Jacob’s flushed skin. There’s no real reason that he should be damn near climbing into Jacob’s lap and draping himself all over his body. 

Jacob doesn’t even seem to care. And if he does, he certainly doesn’t seem bothered by Kevin’s sudden clinginess. If anything, Jacob almost seems to be encouraging it. Although, that could be Kevin’s beer goggles talking. Or even his heavily spiked mixed drink, currently resting in Jacob’s hand. 

Either way, Jacob’s friends are cooing at them like Kevin is a spectacle at a museum as he cuddles ever closer, the alcohol making him nearly desperate to be in Jacob’s arms. At least— that’s what he’ll blame it on tomorrow. 

Changmin is happy and smiling and much too drunk by this point, and his good and free spirited nature is making Kevin want to be a little crazy himself. He’s not sure when the featherlight threat of his lips dragging across Jacob’s heated flesh had turned into purposeful little kisses, but he likes the way Jacob’s breath hitches when he does it.

So he keeps doing it. 

It’s clearly been much too long since he’s found himself in the arms of a man who wants him, because now here he is throwing himself on his best friend in front of a dozen other people. It should be embarrassing, but all Kevin wants is to feel the way Jacob’s grip on his waist settles and tightens, the way his nails bring a lovely distraction towards his floating mind as they dig into his skin. 

“What are you doing, Kevin?” Jacob whispers, quiet as their friends continue partying around them. 

“I don’t know,” he mumbles in response— and it’s the truth. He’s not sure what he’s doing or why he’s even doing it, but he knows that he wants to be closer and the alcohol is simply giving him the push he needs to be bold. “Do you want me to stop?” 

As much as he wants— he’s not taking that away from Jacob. If Jacob wants him to stop, he will. Jacob always comes first in his mind. 

Jacob just barely shakes his head, giving Kevin the green light to continue his vague, pathless kissing across his skin. His friend shudders under the presence of Kevin’s lips on a particular sensitive spot— and this is new territory. 

He’s never come close to experiencing something like this with Jacob, there’s never been intent behind anything. But here, like this, all Kevin wants is to drown in Jacob. 

It’s like from everything they’ve gone through this year— marriage, growth in their persons, tackling new things and struggles— a door opened for Kevin. And behind that door, trapped for years, were his feelings towards Jacob. What he had always considered platonic friendship has morphed into something not quite that, and it’s left him reeling from the shock of it all. 

But like this— Jacob is sexy. He’s a valid object of desire for Kevin to focus on as he finally commits and climbs into Jacob’s lap like he belongs there. It’s different as his arms settle around Jacob’s neck and he smiles down at his best friend, no doubt that his expression is probably overflowing with fondness. 

He thinks he could truly learn to love Jacob like this. 

Jacob is actually the one to initiate the next move, pressing forward and leaving the slightest barely there kiss on his lips. Testing the waters, giving Kevin the option to pull back. He’s putting himself out there for Kevin to hold on to, for Kevin to fall in love with. For Kevin to duck down and leave a kiss on pretty plush lips. 

It’s just as new as it was when they got married, an almost foreign feeling to the way their lips meet. But instead of the sounds of their siblings booing, Kevin can taste the bite of liquor on Jacob’s tongue and he can hear their friends laughing behind them, lost in their own little worlds. 

Kissing Jacob and meaning it is a wild experience. There aren't fireworks and the world doesn’t stop— but Kevin does find himself absolutely drowning in the soft little sighs and tender brushes of their lips together as they find their way around this new development. Jacob is kissing him like he wants it too and at this point, all Kevin is hoping for is that this isn’t just a dream . He wants to wake up tomorrow and not feel unsure. He wants to make this a thing with Jacob. 

Jacob’s thumbs press in on the dips of his waist, holding him securely and close as Kevin wiggles his way closer. He needs to be closer, needs to be pressed up against Jacob until they are nearly melting into one, needs to feel the length of his body against him. 

The problem is— with his violent desire to get closer, to press close, it becomes increasingly apparent that Kevin is a lot more affected than he thought. It’s absolutely mortifying to feel the sparks of pleasure ripple up his body when his mostly hard cock drags against Jacob’s front. It’s even worse when Jacob makes this soft little noise at the back of his throat when he feels it, when he feels Kevin desperately try and escape it. 

It’s one thing to tenderly make out with your best bro— but it’s a-whole-nother thing to introduce boners into the equation. Kevin practically launches himself far out of Jacob’s reach, scurrying off somewhere far away to will away the tightness in his pants and the feverish heat crawling over his skin. God , how is he even supposed to look at Jacob now? Now that he’s kissed him and grinded down on him like he’s got a one track mind? 

He’s hiding in the bathroom like a teenager who’s just blown his load in his pants, whining about the cruelties of the world. He hopes Jacob doesn’t think he’s weird for kissing and running— but he’s so embarrassed. When he glances at himself in the mirror and takes in the sight of his flushed cheeks and blown wide pupils, he knows he’s got it bad. 

He’s splashing cold water on his face and debating the morals of bumming a cold shower off of whoever’s house this is when there’s a very deliberate knocking on the door. He knows it’s Jacob even before he hears him speak. There’s no real way he would know, but he can just tell. 

“Kevin?” Jacob’s voice calls through the cracked wood door. He really wishes he could quite literally fall into Hell right now, just have the floor open up and swallow him whole. Because at least that way he wouldn’t have to deal with whatever is about to happen if he opens this door and comes face to face with Jacob. 

“Kevin died, sorry, he can’t come to the door right now,” he tries weakly, cringing at the idea of having to acknowledge that yes he kissed his best friend and yes he liked it. 

A little bit too much, apparently. 

“Stop being dramatic and come out here,” Jacob sighs, thunking his head on the door. “Please?”

Kevin is a weak, weak little man, and hearing Jacob beg for him to come outside is definitely the end of his mental rope. So he soldiers on ahead, hikes up his big boy pants and cracks the door open to see his best friend standing there, eyes wide in confusion and if he squints, he thinks he can see an unnamed emotion flickering around in the swirling depths. 

“I’m sorry,” Kevin blurts. He’s awkward, this is awkward, and now Jacob is definitely confused. “For… all of that. I got a bit carried away.”

Jacob is frowning now, a pretty little pout marring his features that has Kevin praying for a swift death. He’s trying his hardest to avoid making a scene, to avoid spilling his overflowing thoughts to Jacob in the middle of a going away party for his best friend’s friend, but Jacob is making that difficult. 

“Oh,” Jacob eventually says. Something about his tone sounds just a little bit off, but Kevin files that away to process later. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

All Kevin really wants to do is go home and wallow in his pathetic-ness alone, and thankfully it seems like Jacob can tell. He drops the conversation at hand, although he does continue to shoot Kevin suspicious little side glances that he adeptly ignores, and eventually makes his way over to hug Changmin goodbye and make their leave. 

The ride home is silent, Jacob’s hands gripping onto the wheel so tight his knuckles are white and Kevin’s normally chatty self has been turned into something much less. He spends the short drive with his head pressed against the window, staring out into the night. He thinks he wasn’t nearly drunk enough for the night to go this way, for him to have lost control so easily. 

And now he’s terrified it’s going to mess things up with Jacob.

What he’s conveniently failing to realize, as he hides himself away in his room and listens to Jacob moving around the apartment, is that he’s only creating more tension by refusing to talk about the elephant in the room. 

He fails to notice the way Jacob had wanted to reach out in the moments before he ran up the stairs, desperate to hide away in solitude. 

And as he lays there in his bed, the ghost of Jacob’s lips and body still against him, he thinks he needs to talk to someone about his struggles. He needs to find a way to let out all of his pent up stress and his withering emotions before he ends up ruining his friendship. 

 


 

“Stella, please, I literally do not know what to do,” Kevin whines, stretching across the couch. Jacob is out for the afternoon, practicing some choreography he had been wanting to learn for a while, and Kevin has the apartment all to himself to feel pathetic in. Things have only been a little awkward since that night at Changmin’s party— and by a little, Kevin means that he hasn’t been able to so much as look at Jacob without imagining himself in his lap again. “It’s been so awkward and I don’t know what to say. Do I just walk up to him and be like “ Hey, sorry I sat in your lap and kissed you and got a boner— I’ve been kinda into you for months” ?”

“First of all, please never repeat that sentence out loud in my presence ever again,” he hears from the other end of the phone. Stella sounds magnificently unimpressed by Kevin’s wallowing. “Second of all— no? You don’t have to apologize for that, it’s obvious he enjoyed it too.” 

Kevin huffs, squeezing one of the couch pillows in his arms. He feels a bit like a middle schooler from the 90s getting their one free nightly phone call— all he’s missing is the cord to twirl around his fingers. 

“But even if he did enjoy it… he’s my best friend, things aren't supposed to be like this,” he sighs. “It was just supposed to be a joke-type thing and now it’s spiraled and I can't stop thinking about how badly I want to kiss him again.” 

He can practically hear the way Stella rolls her eyes, even from miles away. “Kevin, are you even listening to yourself? It’s obvious that Jacob is at least a little bit into you, although I’d be willing to argue much more than that—“

Kevin opens his mouth to cut her off, but she continues speaking as if he has no grounds to stand on. “And anyways, if you want to kiss him again, just do it? It’s not like he’s going to stop you, you’ve already made out once. Just don’t get all weird afterwards.” 

“It’s not like it’s that easy. I’ve never looked at Jacob as anything more than a friend my entire life! And now suddenly I want to— to do more with him? To have more than that? I don’t even feel like I’m allowed to have what I do have,” Kevin whispers, voice falling flat at the end. “I feel like I’ve messed everything up for him in the future, like when he wants to have an actual marriage.” 

There’s a distant splashing in the background and Kevin feels even worse knowing he’s interrupting his sister’s only private time— but she swears that she’s always got time for Kevin. 

“And that’s a valid thought you are allowed to have,” she assures softly through the phone. “But you also do not get to take away Jacob’s autonomy to decide what he wants either. You can be worried, but you can't make decisions for him based on what-ifs.” 

The words are spoken softly and they mask the point-blank truth of them with just enough kindness that Kevin doesn't get offended. She’s right— all of his stressing has led to himself making decisions for Jacob instead of laying everything out flat for them to figure out as they go. 

“You’re right,” he sighs softly. “I just don’t know how to tell him that he means more to me now than he ever did.” 

“Tell him just like you told me,” Stella offers gently. “It doesn’t have to be anything big and grand— just tell him how you feel. You both deserve to know that much.” 

He flops dramatically backwards over the armrest of the couch, his head hanging off the edge and to his horror, he comes face to face with the man of the hour. Jacob is standing in the entrance to the apartment with a peculiar look on his face, his head tilted to the side in curiosity, and Kevin is quick to stutter out a strained noise of goodbye to Stella before he hangs up the phone amidst her yelling. 

“Uh,” Kevin blanks. “How long were you standing there for?” 

“Long enough to hear at least most of that conversation,” Jacob replies. And well— fuck. Kevin isn’t recovering from this easily. “Were you serious?” 

Normally this would be the time when Kevin would try and weasel his way out of this conversation— but it feels too important for him to act like that, for him to try so desperately to avoid it. And why would he, now, when he knows that this conversation is important? 

“I am,” Kevin corrects. “I am serious. I don’t know when… or why, even, but somehow things changed.” 

Jacob’s face brightens considerably as he speaks, and Kevin sits up straight. He loves watching the way the smile breaks across Jacob’s face, the way his eyes crinkle up when he looks at Kevin. 

“I’m glad to hear that,” is all Jacob says before he steps closer and finds his way into Kevin’s space. “If I’m honest, things changed for me awhile ago. Somewhere between seeing you at my practices and the competition, things got blurry.” 

Kevin feels like he’s burning under the weight of Jacob’s soft gaze, his skin flushing as he tugs Jacob closer. That borderline feral desire to have Jacob close is back and it’s back with a vengeance— especially knowing now that Jacob wants it too. 

“Can I kiss you?” Kevin asks, eyes searching Jacob’s for any hesitancy. 

“Of course you can,” Jacob says easily. “We’re married.”

His laugh ends up swallowed down by Jacob’s lips and this time, their positions are reversed— instead of Kevin’s weight in Jacob’s lap, it’s Kevin’s hands fitting tight around Jacob’s waist, tugging him closer. 

Jacob tumbles into his lap, giggling against his lips, and honestly— Kevin thinks he could be content with this for the rest of his life. 

“It’s a good thing we’re already married,” Kevin teases, the words a breath lost between them. “Because you already knew you were stuck with me for life, but now you really are.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Jacob laughs— and he sounds so terribly fond that Kevin can’t handle it. So instead, he kisses the words right out of his mouth and lets himself truly have this for once. Lets himself enjoy to the fullest of having Jacob in his arms. Of having Jacob on his lips. 

They get lost in their kisses for an unknown amount of time, until eventually Kevin pulls away and rests his forehead against Jacob’s. 

“Are we going to be okay?” he asks, voice meek. “I don’t want to ruin anything between us.” 

Jacob smiles down at him, a sweet little quirk of his lips that reminds Kevin of all of the best parts of their friendship. 

“We literally got married for fun, babe. I think we will be okay if we take fun in all of the perks that come with it.”

And I mean— he’s definitely got a point there. Kevin’s not going to turn down the benefits of marriage with his best bro turned love interest. 

All of the perks?” ever hopeful, he waggles his eyebrows up at Jacob. “I think I can get behind that.” 

 


 

The upside of Kevin and Jacob having always been a little more open minded in their friendship throughout the years is— it doesn’t take much to upgrade from best friends into the new, uncharted territory of lovers. Honestly, nothing even really changes aside from Kevin getting a good morning kiss that reeks of morning breath and Jacob getting a meaningful slap on his ass when he walks by. 

So all in all— they stay the same. They don’t immediately become KevinAndJacob, they keep their own pieces of themselves well; but they do grow a bit in learning how to adapt to each other’s needs. 

Kevin has always been a tactile person and it only amplifies as such when he’s in a relationship— and at first, Jacob hadn’t seemed like the very clingy type. He was worried his determination to always be draped across his lap or snuggled in his arms was going to be a bit of a deal breaker, but Jacob handles it like a pro. The giant, adult size teddy bear sitting in Kevin’s room also helps for those days when Jacob just isn’t tactile enough for him. 

And when Jacob has a rough time making choreography work with something, Kevin’s admittedly limited knowledge is just enough help on most days— although the new addition into Jacob’s phone surely helps. He’s come home late multiple times to hear Jacob running through steps with Yeji on speaker phone and it makes him happy to know that he could offer a friendship like that to Jacob. 

His favorite part about the new upgrade in their relationship is definitely the sweet kisses and teasing touches they share in the late evening, tired and affectionate at heart. Jacob likes to mess with him, give Kevin a sweet little kiss on the nose and then shove his cold fingers and toes against Kevin’s warm body just to hear the way he squeals. It makes him laugh and he loves it— he loves the way they go together. 

He gets his revenge when he climbs into Jacob’s lap all demure and sweet and licks into his mouth with a filthy intent, grinning against his lips at the distinct press of Jacob’s cock against his body. He feels more than a little bit evil at the way Jacob always whines and reaches out for him, the way he slinks away just out of his grasp. 

Because chemistry aside, they haven’t done anything yet. Kevin wonders if it’s the same for Jacob— that he’s a bit terrified of what wrangling that desire is going to be like for the both of them. What if they are completely incompatible in bed? Kevin thinks he could live a happy life with Jacob even sans sexual gratification— but what if Jacob needs that? What if he isn’t good enough? 

It feels like such a silly thing to worry about and he knows if he would just discuss these worries with Jacob, that he would know everything was okay, that he was a bit ridiculous for his stress. 

He’s even worrying about it right now as he sits in Jacob’s lap, lips pressed against his as his mind wanders. It’s clear that Jacob can tell his mind is elsewhere, and with a reluctant squeeze at Kevin’s hips, he withdraws from the kiss, a soft look in his eyes as he meets Kevin’s gaze. 

“What’s got you so out of it?” Jacob asks, straight to the point in that soft way he usually is. 

Kevin pouts when his not so sneaky attempt to avoid the subject by leaning back in to kiss his partner fails, Jacob holding him back at arm’s length with a stern expression. He pouts even harder as he slumps in defeat, staring down at his fidgeting hands. 

IwanttodomorewithyoubutI’mafraidyouwon’tenjoyit,” he mumbles out, jumbled and distorted to the point that Jacob has to ask him to repeat himself. 

He really doesn’t want to— but this is Jacob and Jacob deserves better than a self conscious loser for a husband. 

“I want to do more with you,” Kevin manages, pointedly refusing to meet Jacob’s heavy gaze. “But I’m scared you won’t enjoy doing… that. With me.” 

Jacob’s eyebrows furrow, confusion blanketing his features. “You think I won’t enjoy having sex with you?” he parrots back towards Kevin like this experience isn’t anything less than mortifying. 

“Yes,” he sulks, still pouting like a scolded child. “I know it’s stupid but, I’m worried if we aren’t compatible then it’s going to put a weird pressure on us.” 

Jacob laughs at him— just straight up starts giggling like a mad man, and Kevin has half a mind to be offended. Except that he knows how Jacob handles things that startle him and leave him dumbfounded, so he can’t really hold a grudge. 

“Kevin, babe, I promise you I’m just as into this as you are,” Jacob explains. He readjusts Kevin on his lap and— oh. Suddenly he can feel the telltale press of Jacob’s cock against his ass and everything is starting to make a bit more sense. “I just didn’t want to push you or make you think that we had to do anything unless you wanted it.” 

Kevin’s mind inadvertently goes back to that time when Jacob had told Stella that Kevin was too good for him and it feels like a sick joke. 

“You’re too good for me,” he ends up murmuring instead, leaning down and leaving sugary sweet kisses along Jacob’s jawline. “I got hard from a little bit of making out at Changmin’s party— of course I want this.” 

Whatever Jacob was about to respond with ends up cut off around a gasp as Kevin’s teeth graze along a sensitive spot on his neck. This is Kevin’s specialty— making his partner fall apart with a desperate need to touch, to claim. And he’s determined to have Jacob desperate for him. 

Jacob’s hands fit bruisingly tight around the curve of his hips, dragging their lower halves together in search of friction as Kevin mouths along his neck and collarbone. The sounds Jacob is letting out is music to his ears— and it’s enough to have Kevin sporting a matching erection in no time, a soft groan spilling from his lips at the harsh drag of denim on denim. 

“Do you want this?” Kevin double checks, thumbing at a sweet little bruise he’s left on Jacob’s flushed skin. “Do you want me?”

“Fuck,” Jacob curses, tugging Kevin down into a sloppy kiss lacking finesse until they are barely breathing in each other’s spaces. “Want you so bad, Kev.” 

Kevin worms his way out of Jacob’s iron-tight grip, sinking to the floor in between his best friend’s spread knees. He can’t help the way he’s staring hungrily at the line of Jacob’s cock pushing against the seam of his jeans, and he can help it even less as his hands come up and smooth over the thick, heavy muscles of his thighs. 

There’s a hand in his hair, encouraging instead of forcing, as Kevin leans forward and mouths along the bulge waiting for him, leaving the messy remains behind as he all but drools over the idea of Jacob in his mouth. 

He’s not in the mood to tease tonight— he’s as desperate for the weight against his tongue as Jacob is to experience it, so without much fanfare he’s tugging Jacob’s jeans down around his thighs and exposing his cock to the cool air, mouth watering at the sight. He hasn’t seen Jacob like this in years outside of accidental glimpses as teenagers, and he’s definitely never seen him fully hard and leaking and desperate, so it’s a memory he wants to commit forever. 

“Kevin,” Jacob urges, cock bobbing under the weight of his stare. “Please touch me.”

If Jacob is going to beg prettily for him, well then ask and you shall receive, he thinks. He fits his mouth around the head of Jacob’s cock for the first time, tonguing at the slit and tasting the precum already starting to bead up there. The moan he lets out at the feeling comes immediately and Jacob echoes him as the vibrations drive him crazy. 

The guiding hand in his hair tightens, Jacob’s nails scratching against his scalp as Kevin forces himself down, choking a little on the intrusion as he presses lower. He’s taken bigger in his mouth, although nothing real, nothing attached to a real person, so it’s completely different when Jacob’s hips shake and buck up just slightly into the wet heat. 

Shit, sorry baby, you feel so good,” Jacob whines, head dropping back against the couch. When Kevin looks up and sees the fucked out way Jacob’s chest is heaving, he hums around the solid weight in his throat and starts truly aiming to please. He swallows around Jacob as he presses himself down further, throat convulsing until Jacob is urging him down even more with the hand in his hair, urging him down until his nose is pressed against the neatly trimmed patch of curls at the base of his cock. 

He’s thankful he’s trained himself out of his gag reflex for the most part, because it means he gets to hear the way Jacob’s cries pitch up as he pulls back, only to sink back down to the hilt again. 

“Kevin, fuck, please,” Jacob chokes out, body squirming as if unsure whether to fuck up into the stifling pleasure or to pull away. “If you keep it up I’m not going to last, dude,” Jacob wheezes as Kevin pulls off with a sickening pop

“Did you just dude-zone me after I gave you the best blowjob of your life?” Kevin huffs, finger dipping into the slit where precum is still steadily heading up. He can still taste the weight of Jacob on his tongue and it’s with a soft little pout that he moves on from his previous mission onto the next— getting Jacob in bed, preferably naked and inside of him. “I’ll let it slide if you fuck me.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Jacob whispers to the heavens, allowing himself to be tugged upright by Kevin’s determined grasp. “You’re going to kill me.” 

Kevin just grins at him, encouraging Jacob to step out of his pants and leading him down the hallway towards Jacob’s bed— although, they’ve both been sleeping in here recently. It’s maddening as Kevin pushes Jacob down against the mattress, climbing over top of him and sealing their lips together again, kisses harsh and biting. He’s determined to leave physical marks of their experience all over Jacob, starting with pretty kiss-bruised lips and blooming bruises across his chest. 

Jacob’s hands clutch at his body as Kevin tugs his shirt off and leaves biting kisses against his skin. Everywhere he goes he leaves the ghostly trail of his lips and tongue and teeth all over Jacob’s body, breathing in the sweet moans that his best friend keeps letting out as Kevin teases across pert nipples and sensitive skin. 

“You’re so pretty like this,” Kevin hears, looking up under his eyelashes to see the way Jacob is staring at him, gaze heavy and thick with lust and desire. “Please, Kevin, I’m desperate here.”

“That’s exactly the way I like it,” Kevin presses against Jacob’s skin, a grin twisting his lips. “But since you are asking so sweetly…”

Kevin settles over Jacob’s body, ducking down and capturing his lips in a biting kiss. “Undress me?” he asks sweetly, sitting up and grinning at the feeling of Jacob’s cock still hard against him. “You can do whatever you want with me if you get me naked.” 

That’s all it takes for Jacob to fit his arms around Kevin and hold him tight to his body as he rolls them both over, hovering over Kevin with a deadly sort of intent glinting in his eyes. 

“Want me to get you naked, Kev? Want me to make you feel good?” Jacob smirks, sitting back on his heels and fitting his hands under Kevin's shirt. He tries not to shake from the weight of Jacob’s words— but he does. He wants it so bad. 

“Please, Jake,” he breathes, batting his eyelashes up at him all innocently. “I’m just as desperate for you.” 

Jacob’s hands smooth up over his chest under his shirt, fingertips dragging across his nipples and drawing out sweet little moans. He teases him like that for a while before Kevin gets antsy and writhes around on the bed, begging to be free of his clothes and feel Jacob pressed up against him. 

His shirt gets stuck around his head when Jacob haphazardly tugs at it and he ends up laughing around a mouthful of cotton as Jacob trails his fingers across the ticklish spots on his ribs. Fighting his way out of the shirt the rest of the way, his eyes meet Jacob’s and he can’t help but grin— he should have known that their forays into the bedroom would involve shenanigans and fooling around, but this… 

It feels special, to be able to laugh like this, to be able to have Jacob teasing him and making Kevin breathless around his own laughter. 

Thick fingers twitch at the edge of Kevin’s pants, skillfully popping the button and tugging them down, freeing Kevin to Jacob’s hungry eyes. 

“Fuck, you’re just… you’re stunning,” Jacob whispers, reverent and wide eyed with disbelief. Kevin squirms, fitting his hands in Jacob’s hair as plush lips trail along the dip of his hips. “Still can’t believe I would have never gotten to see you like this.” 

“Can you just shut up and touch me, please,” Kevin whines, pushing his hips up at the teasing kisses. “I’ve already blown you, the least you can do is return the favor.” 

Jacob slaps at his bare thigh in retaliation, spreading his legs and fitting between them— right where he belongs. “Stop being impatient, let me take my time with you,” Jacob hums, feeling the way Kevin’s skin feels silky smooth under his hands. Kevin understands but at the same time, he just wants Jacob’s fingers inside of him and his pretty lips around his cock— and can you blame him? 

Jacob is beyond attractive, Kevin’s always known that, but seeing him like this, looking down at Kevin with heavy lidded eyes and with lust at his fingertips… it’s a new feeling, a new scene. And honestly, Kevin’s pretty on edge already even from something as simple as choking on Jacob’s cock, and now all he wants is to have a mutually beneficial orgasm with his not-so-platonic friend over here. 

He sighs contentedly at the first brush of Jacob’s fingers against his cock, thumb ghosting just over the tip where he’s most sensitive. It already has him squirming, looking for more, as Jacob plays around with him, tests out all of the spots he wonders about. Kevin full on shudders as a too-dry hand wraps around him and strokes up once, twice— the drag of calloused skin against his overheated flesh, helped only barely by the copious precum he’s leaking. He’s reminded of the few years Jacob had spent playing guitar, of the time when he thought music was for him, but now is not the time to get sentimental. 

“Feels good, Jake,” Kevin hums instead, hips twitching up at the stimulation. He’s trying his best not to be impatient, especially when Jacob is looking at him like he’s a meal to be savored instead of devoured, but the teasing strokes are driving him insane. His legs spread wider, wider still for Jacob to shuffle closer and caress his fingers along the sensitive skin of Kevin’s inner thighs, a sweet little whine the earned reward. 

Jacob grins at him, eyes crinkling up in that smile that never fails to remind Kevin of nearly two decades of shared friendship— and he can feel his heart skip a beat. He’s tumbling into unknown territory with the best man of his life, with the person who’s been by his side almost as long as his family has, and he couldn’t and wouldn’t wish for anything else. 

He watches idly as Jacob leans over towards his nightstand, rifling through the top drawer until he procures a nearly empty bottle of lube. Kevin raises an eyebrow at the sight, pointedly not looking into Jacob’s little drawer of secrets— he thinks he can spare him this for now. But the premise of lube implies that Jacob is finally going to move this show on ahead, and Kevin is twitching in excitement at the thought of those thick fingers opening him up. 

“How do you want to do this?” Jacob asks, uncertainty in his voice even as Kevin gives him his best fuck me eyes. “I’m completely fine with either or.”

“As much as I can't wait to take you up on that,” Kevin manages, tugging Jacob down close until their noses are brushing. “I really need you to fuck me before I go insane. I want you in me, babes.”

Jacob buries a moan in the crook of his neck, hitching Kevin’s legs up and around his hips before he sits up, eyes alight with a new fire. 

“Next time, you’ll have to let me ride you,” Jacob muses aloud, stroking over the line of Kevin’s cock one last time before his fingers dip between his cheeks, wet and slick and cold with lube. “I bet you’d be really whiny.” 

The touch is nearly electrifying and Kevin is rapidly reminded that it’s been much too long since the last time he had a warm body that wasn’t his own hand between his legs. Jacob’s fingers feel amazing as they tease across his hole, as Kevin tries to spread impossibly wider as if to coax him inside. “You’ll— ah,” Kevin gasps, one finger breaching him slowly. “You’ll have to find out, won’t you?” 

Jacob snorts, something that had it been anyone else would have turned him off, but with Jacob— it’s endearing. It’s cute. Although, Jacob would be even cuter if he would stop teasing him and give Kevin what he so desperately wants. 

“You're already so whiny right now,” Jacob observes, smirking at the way Kevin immediately chokes down a whine as his finger withdraws, teasing just at the edge of his hole. It’s unfair and he’s extremely close to taking over and working himself open for the thick cock nestled between Jacob’s thighs, leaving trails of precum against his skin as they navigate each other. 

He’s about to retort when the finger pushes back inside, this time with another to spread him wider, loosen him up. Jacob is careful and sweet as he gets him ready, and honestly, Kevin finds it adorable— but he’s needy as fuck and he fucks himself open on a toy cock almost daily. There’s no need for such thorough prep. 

“Another,” Kevin gasps, back arching off the bed as Jacob obliges and a third finger presses in deep. They immediately curl up and drag across his prostate, drawing out another whiny moan from parted lips. It’s radiating sparks of pleasurable pain up his spine, settling in deep in his bones until it’s all he can do to escape the overwhelming onslaught. 

“Fuck, sit still, baby,” Jacob chides, forcing his hips down against the bed as Kevin gyrates wantonly, pushing into the intrusion as much as he is trying to escape. It’s even worse when Jacob, the bastard he is, teases a fourth finger and Kevin loses it. He sobs as his cock jerks, shooting white across his stomach and startling himself as well as Jacob— who looks entranced at the sight of Kevin writhing on his sheets. “Sensitive, Kev?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Kevin manages, breathy and light. Jacob’s fingers are still buried inside, dragging along his walls with each lazy thrust. To Kevin’s utter disbelief, his cock stays hard and angry against his stomach, still jerking from the aftershocks as Jacob’s fingers pick up speed. “C’mon, please, fuck me,” he begs, uncaring about the sensitivity shooting lightning through his nervous system. 

Jacob swears, pulling his fingers free with a sickening squelch that sounds absolutely vile in the room as he wipes his hands on the sheets. “Condom? Or no— I haven’t been with anyone since the last time I got tested…”

“Ooh, sweet little Jacob wants to hit it raw on the first date?” Kevin teases, idly tracing a finger through the mess on his stomach. He knows Jacob is watching him as a dirtied finger slips between his lips, sucking the taste of himself off of the digit. “No condom, Bae, I wanna feel you.”

There’s another muffled curse as Jacob hunts the lube bottle down, lost in the sheets beside them. When he finally finds it, he surprises Kevin by wrapping his hands around the narrowest part of his waist and yanking him down closer until Kevin’s ass is resting propped up on Jacob’s thick thighs. He’s sure he makes a sight right now, cum smeared across his stomach and his cock still red and leaking, eyes heavy with desire as Jacob strokes a lube covered hand over his own cock. 

The blunt tip of Jacob’s cock brushes against his hole and he moans in anticipation, fingers clenching into the sheets as the stretch takes over his thoughts. Oh, fuck, Jacob feels divine — he’s stretching him open so good he’s partly afraid he’s going to split in half and it just keeps on going. Jacob’s not even all the way in yet, his stomach isn’t pressed against his ass yet, there’s still more of him and he’s already whining like a bitch in heat as he’s stuffed full. 

“Oh fuck,” Kevin sobs, as Jacob’s hands return to the hollow of his waist, gripping on tight. “You’re so big, what the fuck, what the fuck.”

Jacob isn’t faring much better based on the way he’s holding back labored breaths and his hands are white-knuckled around his own body— but he loves it. He loves knowing Jacob is this ruined from his own body, that he did that. 

“You’re so tight,” Jacob grits out, rolling his hips experimentally to feel the way Kevin tightens around him even further, to hear the way his moans stutter and break off. “Are you ready?” 

Kevin nods, not trusting his voice, and Jacob thrusts shallowly two, three more times before setting a pace deep and hard and slow. He’s crying already as Jacob’s hands lift him up higher, encourages the arch of his back just that bit more, and he’s fucking in so deep Kevin half wonders if he can feel it in his throat. 

One of Jacob’s hands comes up and swipes at the tears beading up along Kevin’s waterline— but instead of looking concerned, Jacob’s eyes narrow as he pushes his thumb between Kevin’s lips. He’s going to Hell with the way he moans like a degenerate and wraps his lips greedily around the digit, even as Jacob fucks him harder, deeper for his behavior. He can’t stop himself as his hands grip onto Jacob’s arm, holding him there with his fingers in his mouth as he drools around the weight of them. 

“God, what the fuck,” Jacob half laughs, pressing his thumb down against his tongue. “You’re absolutely filthy, aren’t you?” 

Kevin moans at the backhanded praise, already feeling dangerously close to the edge again— how is he supposed to hold out when Jacob’s giving him the tour de force of stroke game right now? He’s practically ragdolled in Jacob’s grip as he grinds his hips in deep and slow, dragging near painfully against his prostate with each thrust. 

Jacob ignores Kevin’s whines as he steals his hand back and wraps it around Kevin’s cock, wet with spit and tears. Each earth-shattering thrust is paired with an expert stroke of his hand, throttling Kevin straight towards the cliff and his orgasm. He’s not going to last like this, not with the obscene sounds of Jacob’s wet grip and his hips slapping against Kevin’s ass. 

“Gonna cum again?” Jacob manages, staring down at Kevin’s teary eyes as he shakes from the pleasure. It’s all he can do to nod, voice breaking when he tries to speak— and then he’s gone. Jacob drags against his prostate one more time and his cock is spilling over Jacob’s fingers in his second orgasm. He’s nearly thrashing on the mattress from overstimulation as Jacob drops his hold on his spent cock and tugs him back with force to meet each stuttering thrust, and before long, Kevin can hear the way his groans pick up in pace and his hips stop as he fills him to the brim. 

The feeling of Jacob pulling out has him whining pitifully, hole clenching down around nothing as cum leaks sadly down his crack. Jacob seems to like the image, though, of Kevin debauched and used against his sheets, because there’s a thumb swiping at some of the runaway cum and pressing against his hole to fuck it back in. 

His cock threatens to stir again at that, and he sighs weakly at the exhaustion teasing at his bones. “Don’t make me hard again, I might actually pass out,” Kevin scolds lamely. “It’s not everyday someone makes me cum twice in one short session.” 

Short? What, did I not give the princess enough?” Jacob gripes, grabbing a questionable towel from the floor and haphazardly cleaning up the cum drying on his chest. Kevin rolls his eyes fondly at Jacob’s bratty mannerisms, puckering his lips out for a kiss until Jacob obliges him. 

He’s watching in slight confusion as Jacob gets up to leave, padding towards the hallway. “Also, by the way— you had nothing to worry about when it came to compatibility,” Jacob calls as he strolls down the hall like Kevin isn’t naked and confused in his bed. 

He shrugs it off and instead settles for getting more comfortable and out of the wet spot underneath him— until he hears the sound of the bathtub filling up. 

His heart swells at the gesture and dumbly he can even feel the pinpricks of tears welling up— and really, he loves this man. Jacob knows him so well, truly knows the way to his heart, and at this point he can’t help but think it would have been a crime to overlook any of his budding feelings for much longer. 

Sure, maybe sometimes when Jacob comes home after a particularly grueling practice and Kevin is swamped in approaching deadlines, the chaste kiss on his lips in passing can be a bit startling. It’s like he forgets that things have changed— because really, they barely have. Except for this. This being the physical embodiment of their attractions. 

This is new. And it’s beautiful and glorious and everything Kevin had hoped it would be. 

It’s even better when Jacob’s naked form appears in the doorway and he’s led on shaky legs into the bathroom where a steaming tub awaits him. He literally swoons in Jacob’s arms at the sweet scent in the air, at the bubbles threatening to spill over. 

And to his surprise, Jacob slips in the tub behind him, arms wrapping comfortingly around his body as they soak in the warm water. 

It’s intimate in all of the best ways— in all of the ways he was worried about, deep down. Intimacy can be a scary obstacle to overcome with a partner— especially with how long their friendship has gone on. 

But with Jacob’s soapy hands in his hair and coaxing the mess out of him, he’s happy and content. He’s got a best friend/ boyfriend?/ husband who adores him and he’s just as whipped in return. He’s got the apartment of his dreams and a life built with Jacob, a job he loves and a college degree in the works— and he’s right where he belongs. 

 


 

When Kevin finally makes his rounds back to his parents’ house, he’s pleased to find out that their renovations are done and the basement is almost exactly as they had left it over a year ago, sans empty beer bottles. 

His parents don’t even bat an eyelash at Jacob’s presence, although Stella does make a pointed glance towards the way Kevin is practically orbiting his partner. He simply raises an eyebrow and shows off the new addition on his hand— a sweet little stone set in white gold, a gift from Jacob to celebrate their 17th year of friendship. It was also an excuse to put a real ring on their fingers, a pretty matching band tucked behind the glorious little thing— a duplicate nestled on Jacob’s left hand as well. 

And when he gushes to his mom over steamed pork dumplings and a glass of wine about the new man in his life— he thinks he can see his dad’s eyes getting misty. 

“I can't believe my only son is married and he didn’t tell us,” Kevin’s mom cries, slapping his dad on the arm. “We weren’t even there for the ceremony!” 

“Ah,” Kevin sighs, squeezing at Jacob’s hand under the table. “It was an intimate affair. Very few people even know about it.”

Stella meets his eyes over the table with a grin, although the shoe meeting his shin is a lot more sinister in nature. He knows it’s for not telling her about their upgraded development and he deserves it, but fuck, she’s wearing pointed toed shoes like a civilized woman for once instead of her ratty converse. 

As it turns out, Kevin and Jacob weren’t the only ones with news to share— because soon, Stella is pulling out a little envelope and pushing it across the table. And when Kevin peeks over his mom’s shoulder and sees what’s making her sob, he’s the first one up and tugging Stella in for a hug. 

The slightest bulge of a baby bump presses against him as he holds his sister, and when Jacob congratulates her but softly insists on asking the sweetest questions— Kevin is once again reminded he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be.