Chapter Text
Well, if she didn’t wake up 110% to do her precious job like usual, she figured she wouldn’t be more excited to hang out with people. Except Anna is a people’s person, so her tough introvert act fell short just a few minutes into the loud music pumping in her ears.
“Where are my shots?!”
Everything was going as smoothly as losing Rapunzel once, having to cut through numerous groups of people to find her and being asked out a few times, then convincing Kristoff not to go home with the first girl he had laid eyes on. All until Anna found herself somehow alone in the jumping crowd to the electronic music. She remembers promising to get drinks, but doesn’t really- for lack of a better word- care right now.
Here she can scream to the top of her lungs and still not be heard, while everyone is doing the same around her and the music picks up the pace again and again. She throws her hands in the air, swinging her ponytail from side to side unconsciously, then even locks eyes with a stranger.
The woman seems around the same height as Anna, if only by her mane of lighter curly ginger hair, as they both scoot closer and closer. Lights continue to flash different colors across their features, briefly blinding Anna’s vision from time to time, but she forces her eyes to stay absorbed in the apprehensive expression of her friend, once she actually sees the girl.
Most of her friends have looked at her the exact same way just today for some reason. Oh, she knows why- Elsa.
This is exactly why she never so much as showed them a picture.
Anna decides to relax her arms around Merida’s neck by the occasion’s swift. “Wanna dance?” She even cheerfully smiles, much contrary to the frown she gets back.
“Anna… We need to talk.”
“No, we really don’t.”
“Don’t be a bitch.”
“I’M being a bitch?!”, she exclaims louder and promptly scrambles off first. Merida will probably keep stuck on her trail, anyway.
“Juist let me explain!” Yep.
Her sigh goes only heard by her own ears, before she turns around with her eyes closed for another second. Anna damn hopes to Heaven and Hell that her friend can’t tell she is actually almost crying- really not up to discuss anything right now. Specially with alcohol in both of their systems.
“What” is the only dry response she manages.
“Can we- can we get outside? Like, talk or whatever.” Merida claps her hands together in return for Anna’s incredulous gaze. “Ye have to hear me out. Please.”
“Fine!” But not without rolling her eyes first.
They excuse themselves past the crowd- well, Anna does. Merida just pushes people aside until they get to the narrow stairs leading to the entrance. There was a couple buying tickets, who they have to squeeze by, but surely the night’s cool breeze hits them afterwards, as if mother nature wants to awake them from under the alcohol influence. It only works as much, not like they are waisted or anything.
Anna walks over to a nearby tree and leans back on its hard trunk, leaving her friend to be awkward by herself. She sniffs a little, but blames it on the change of temperature: from crumped heat, to fog leaving their lips when they breathe.
“So…”
“So.”
“Yeah.”
“Uh huh.”
“… A’m sorry.” Merida looks up to meet her gaze again, although still with that nervous attitude.
“What for?” Anna hugs herself to close her red jacket with it. She doesn’t really care for the cold right now, yet her body moves accordingly. Though it’s much colder where she is from.
“Fur telling Kristoff ‘n’ Olaf about…”
“Oh my God, you can’t even say it!” Her tears actually threaten to fall now, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by her friend.
Merida takes a step closer with glistening eyes of her own, but looks down again and fidgets her hands together. “Ah dinnae- ah didnae ken it. Ah thought Kristoff ‘n’ Olaf could explain it to me…”
Now that is a sight to make Anna freeze momentarily.
Merida is normally a fierce woman, who doesn’t take shit from anyone and never shows any kind of vulnerability in public- Hell, not even when they are alone. But then again, Anna also strongly believes in the strength it takes to share your vulnerable side.
“I didn’t understand it either, Mer.” She shrugs. “But why didn’t you come talk to me about it? Why didn’t you say anything when I told you?”
Merida looks her dead in the eye, actually mocking her from some angle. “How could ah, An? Ye had juist opened yerself’ fur me. How could ah turn ye down like that?”
“…Hm.” Anna is the one to look down this time, as she aims her foot to kick a random little rock to the middle of the street by its bounce. “What didn’t you understand?”
“All of it, kinda. Ye know ah come from a conservative family.”
Anna kicks the next rock harder, bouncing it all the way to the opposite sidewalk. “That’s no excuse. And you even said you came to Arendelle because you wanted to get away from that mind-set.”
“A’m not giving excuses.”
“Then what are you? What did you want to talk about, exactly?” She almost glares at her friend now- her tears long dry.
Merida sighs, while brushing her curly hair back. “Ah can’t say ah completely ken it yet, but ah dinnae have to. Ye mah friend and a’m always gonna be here fur ye. Ah really juist wanted to say a’m sorry for telling Kristoff ‘n’ Olaf-”
“OLAF!”
“DIBS ON FLYNN!”
“RAPS DON’T-”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”
“The Hell”, Anna whispers under her breath. They both turned to stare aimlessly down the stairs to the club and, just another second in, the rest of their friends come running up.
“Call a cab! Call a cab!”, Kristoff desperately asks them.
“There’s no time! See you on the other side, losers!” Rapunzel giggles off with Flynn on her trail.
“Come on!” Olaf grabs Anna’s hand and pulls her along.
“What happened-”
“COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!”
“Oh.” She promptly starts running too, after that husky threat from back in the club and some noise of glass breaking.
Merida stays put, though, even crossing her arms over her chest in a power pose. Kristoff has to stop on his tracks and go back to pick her up and put her on his shoulder, despite all the unabashed name-calling he receives in return.
“They have guns, Merida!”
“What makes ye think ah don’t have one too, eejit?!”
“YOU HAVE A GUN?!”, Anna is the one to shout this time.
“Ah didnnae say that either…” The redhead looks away.
______________
Anna jumps over the metallic gate last, after helping Olaf not rip his shirt when he got stuck, then looks around to everyone panting just as much as she. Though Rapunzel is practically dying on the grass, having the smaller legs and so she had to force her limbs to run twice as fast.
“Think we lost them?”, Kristoff questions Merida still watching the desert streets, as if squeezing her eyes would make the darkness any brighter. Really, only the light of the moon is shining over them, but maybe her inner ‘grew up in the mountains’ self can muster better vision.
“Yep-”
A single sound of gunshot in the distance interrupts her, followed by incoherent yelling.
“Or not.”
Flynn quickly pulls Rapunzel in his arms, and that is their cue to start running again. Though, this time, with an actual plan to go inside one of the buildings of the university they just broke in.
Anna gets ahead of the group, successfully yanking a window open (thank God). She bends her knees slightly for Olaf to step on and jump inside, so he can pull her arm up from above. Next is Kristoff, which takes both of them to pull the brute-ish guy inside. It’s not before Kristoff takes her place on helping Flynn and Rapunzel (Merida got in by herself), that Anna really looks around where they just trespassed.
Wait. Do you go to prison for trespassing?
Eh, just don’t get caught.
It’s a modernly decorated library, although the building is old, with colorful beanbags scattered around and wooden tables the same color as the bookshelves. There is even a huge L-shaped sofa in the corner, which just called Anna to take a quick nap. God, she is so tired. But she forces herself to wander about, looking for the entrance or maybe a bottle of water someone left behind.
Anna knows very well where the entrance is, since she has actually been to this department a lot before, but her body keeps walking mindlessly between the bookshelves, instead of turning to the right on that last corner. The little darker corners too, she knows every single one of them. Where only books could see her falling more and more into the forbidden love that they so loved to tell you about.
Oh, it was just as fun as the books make it be, if not more.
She can hear her friends whispering behind her, on what should be a deserted room except for themselves, yet, somehow, it doesn’t surprise her to stop on a certain long desk between longer halls. The woman that is sleeping soundly on her crossed arms there doesn’t snatch her breath away, either.
“Isn’t that…?” Rapunzel tries behind Anna, who just forgets to blink for a longer second.
“This way.” The redhead takes the right turn this time, as her friends promptly follow her without questioning anything-
“Oh, what a pretty lady.” Except for Olaf, of course. “Why are you looking at me like I should shut up? Jeez, just ask.”
“They, uhm…” Anna calls beside the entrance, before Rapunzel can actually murder him with her glare. “They don’t keep security as tight in this part of the building, so we can find an empty classroom to hide for a little while. Just- be quiet. Please?”
“Honey, I’ve done this multiple times.” Flynn squats to spy mode, moving stealthily to the door.
“What? Breaking into universities?” Kristoff mocks in a louder whisper.
“Hiding from people that want my head.”
“Whoa, this is just like Brazil last year!” Rapunzel goes to clap her hands excited, but Merida slaps them back down.
“Ah dinnae have mah knives with me this time, so keep it down.”
“What? You never leave without your knives.”
“A’m not with all of them-”
“Anna?”
The redhead snaps back from staring intensely at a specific red book almost falling off its bookshelf. The blood-colored leather looks darker without a light source, but it still caught her attention in a bitter sense.
“Everything okay?” Kristoff tries again.
Anna shrugs her head, then smiles up at him. “Let’s go- oof.” Olaf suddenly hugs her- more like he threw himself at the taller girl. Her heart squeezes and beats louder in her eardrums, almost breaking her complacent act, just in time for that old red book to fall completely off and with a loud bang on the ground.
Everyone freezes at the noise that reverberated through the whole library, waiting for a cop to burst in and arrest them.
They sigh in unition when nothing happens.
“Uh, yes, Olaf?” Anna pats his back gently, until he puts an arm distance between them again.
“You, sweetheart, are repressing your feelings again. I thought we agreed to stop that!”
“Wha- What? But I’m not-”
“You are.”
…
Well, understandably, her friends turn to the voice first. The calm, sweet and elegant voice that haunts her life better than a real demon ever could.
Now Anna wishes a cop might as well have burst in before, it wouldn’t be as chaotic to her heart. Not that it’s pumping from anything new or at least exciting, nor the other way around. It’s just- erratic.
“Oh, the pretty lady is up!”, Olaf comments cheerful.
“So, is that…?”, Anna hears Merida and Rapunzel whispering even lower with each other, what she decides to ground herself in.
“Seriously, can you not?” The redhead glares at them, as they both fidget away.
“Should we…” Flynn coughs awkwardly. “I mean- I’m assuming-”
“Yes.” Anna sighs, taking the time to close her eyes momentarily. Though she still hasn’t even taken a glance to the cause of her life distress. “Just give me a minute and I’ll be right behind you guys,” the words leave her lips without any prior- Did I just- Oh, God, I did.
______________
Okay, first off: Elsa had never fallen asleep in a library before, as much as her workaholic character can scream that pattern sometimes, and it’s really uncomfortable. She has worked herself to sleep in her office and at a random park that one-time, but that’s not the point.
Second off: she had just made her mind about not seeing Anna this year. Or at least for the month. To see said girl at a private campus she very much doesn’t have a pass to be at, it actually made Elsa mad in some lost sense. Though she might as well use the opportunity to have the higher ground for a change.
Once the last of Anna’s friends leave and close the door behind them, Elsa leans on a bookshelf and crosses her arms over her chest. She didn’t really get a glimpse on the others, only tried to have her sister look at her back. “If you want to leave, the door is right there.”
Anna also crosses her own arms, but more into a self-hug. Then, and only then, does she look up with a rather blank expression. “I’m sure you would like that too.”
“What makes you think that?”
The redhead shrugs. “Maybe because it’s been three years since you last spoke a whole coherent sentence to me.”
Elsa bites the inside of her cheek, forcing herself not to fight who’s really at fault right back at Anna. Still, she is feeling pent-up of this bullshit already. “Right, since last year you were screaming so much, I couldn’t exactly say anything.”
Anna finally shows some type of shocked emotion for that. “That was-” She takes a step into the moonlight, only to rest her hand on the bookshelf facing Elsa. The action made them face each other fully, so Elsa loses a little bit of that higher ground to Anna’s outfit. “That was a mistake and you are just hiding behind it again.”
She takes a moment to remember Anna’s light green eyes that are dark now, the rounder shape of her face and the dark red hair. Everything still takes her breath away, and it probably forever will. She leans down with her own eyes glued to her sister’s lips, before looking up to the hidden freckles on her cheeks. “But was it?”
“What was?”
“A mistake.”
Anna quite roughly pushes her away, but Elsa is actually glad to see the stern face. Whether because she thinks she deserves it, whether because it’s better than apathy… “Yeah, Elsa, it was a mistake. It might have been great for you to get laid, since you don’t have that many people to call, do you? But I was honestly stupid to think you would at least stick around for fucking breakfast. And you know what? I’m way better than you, so the whole shitshow was a mistake!”
“… Weren’t you the one who asked-”
“I KNOW! I WAS THERE!”
Elsa watches her sister frankly turn around to sit on a desk and sigh with her eyes closed again. She didn’t use to sigh that much before. Or at least when Elsa watched her interact with her friends from afar. Not even when the girl was tired from rehearsal. Honestly, why is she even questioning it? It’s obviously because Elsa is there. She is the problem. She was the problem then, she’s the problem now.
Because it’s not like they were happy as a couple either.
But I miss you.
Couldn’t it just be that simple?
“Do you ever…” Elsa bites her lower lip, before she can say too much or entirely not enough. It had never been enough, after all. Everything she did or could have said. “Fuck, could you stop doing stupid shit when you’re drunk? It’s getting old.”
“Not your business.”
“Then why did you stay?”
“I’m giving them time to get away from you.”
“…I forgot I’m a demon now. Maybe that’s why I can’t understand you.”
Anna finally looks at Elsa again, but with her eyes kind of dropped. As if she isn’t really seeing her there, not even acknowledging the mere existence that her sister is actually showing some type of emotion- putting some weight on her words.
Why.
Just- why?!
“You know Merida?”
…
Okay, that’s something else.
______________
“Anna, just go.” Elsa points at the door with her thumb, holding her own type of stern expression this time. It used to scare Anna when they first met, but now it’s just plain annoying. “I’m not talking to you when you’re acting like a child.”
And that most definitely doesn’t help.
The redhead also can’t help and laugh so uncharacteristically over the whole thing. It’s just- annoying. So fucking annoying. The way her hair is still long and perfectly straight with that white color that sometimes flashes a light blonde on certain strands. The way she doesn’t even try to hide how her gaze still falls on Anna’s lips from time to time. The way she holds her posture with her shoulders back and a hint of arrogance on her eyes that Anna knows would be light blue on better lighting, but now it’s pure dark. The way the moonlight blends with her almost-completely white skin, just like a demon would be summoned on Anna’s mind. The way she picks on her nails when she wants to punch something, or someone, but has to keep the act of that put-together adult when she is anything but.
It’s actually hilarious.
“Oh, I know you still want me.” Anna breathes final little giggles. “I just wanted to know if the girl you’re fucking to replace me is my friend or not, but I guess it doesn’t really matter.” She catches that slight waver on her sister’s eyes, before the famous scientist decides to get closer again.
Elsa puts the palm of her hands on either side of Anna, still managing to tower over the redhead. Ever with that arrogant attitude, of course.
She looks down, then up with that dangerous distance between them. “Doesn’t it?”
“Not your business.” Anna nods, smiling. She steals a glance at one of Elsa’s hands tightening in a fist, effectively encouraging her to push a whole lot more. Honestly, Anna has, for a while now, been constantly pulled back to her teenage years and the influence of her friends back then- not very respectful people. You could say she used to get around the wrong crowd, compared to her more sincere and empathetic personality. It’s an easier switch to turn to, especially with someone like Elsa, who already fundamentally never shares her real self. “But you wanna know a little secret?”
Elsa’s jaw flexes visibly so. “Don’t-”
“She wouldn’t love you either.”
Because they weren’t in love.
They weren’t.
For the love of God, they weren’t.
Because if they were… If Anna had actually loved Elsa from the little bits of her heart, to the little bits that made her smile- They weren’t. Elsa didn’t break Anna’s heart as much as Anna is seeing the deeper cut claw itself over Elsa’s expression now.
The redhead tries reaching her hand confidently to caress below her sister’s hurt blue eyes up close, but it shakes involuntarily. “Elsa, you need to let go.” Because I’m the demon. You need to hate me. I’m putting a stop to this.
Elsa, herself, frowns down at Anna and slaps her hand away. “I don’t care. You think I care about that? After all the things I told you about- Ah, you’re right. It really doesn’t matter.” As if a switch just turned that Anna didn’t intend to, Elsa reaches a hand of her own, but forcefully grabs her sister’s chin to tilt it up. The action finally catches a breath out of her lungs, alike of almost ten years ago, even if it’s not in that passionate sense. “I know something you always wanted from me, that’s good enough.”
“What?”
“…You said it yourself, darling. Still want me to let go? You never even really met me to begin with.” How the fuck can someone’s eyes darken like that?! “Last year we were both drunk and we didn’t fuck, by the way. I was messing with you.” She lets go of her chin to slowly brush her jacket off one shoulder, as Anna shrieks away involuntarily.
“But I-”
“You asked me to make you feel something, but I just dropped you off at a hotel.” Elsa giggles. She actually- this little shit! “What? Don’t tell me you’re scared now...”
Oh, fuck.
I mean, fuck me.
What the Hell is happening-