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Cheesy Bullshit

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Makoto swiped quickly across the screen of his tablet, turning to the next page in the book he was reading. It was really getting good, and he couldn’t wait to see what happened next. He was stretched across the living room couch, as comfy as could be, totally ready to pull an all-nighter and finish it. Well, either that or pass out when his eyes started to feel heavy. It really depended on where the night took him.

The abrupt sound of the doorbell ringing made him yelp in surprise. Not a moment later there was also the loud sound of a knock at the front door. Makoto checked the time and frowned. Who would come calling at this hour? Another round of impatient knocking began, and he sighed then set his tablet onto the nearby coffee table.

Makoto rolled off the couch and headed towards the foyer. When he was finally within earshot of the door he heard muffled singing. He recognized the song almost immediately as one of Laurent’s favorite German drinking songs. That plus the fact that the blond rang the bell instead of simply using his key to get in lead Makoto to the conclusion that he was a little less than sober. Oh, boy.

He picked up the pace of his stride since the less time the blond had to annoy the neighbors the better. As soon as Makoto reached the door he unlocked then yanked it open. Laurent let out a surprised yelp as he fell forward with it. Makoto caught him with a grunt. The scent of alcohol hit him like a slap in the face. The guy reeked. He rolled his eyes when the blond snickered to himself. This bastard.

A quick honk caught his attention and Makoto looked over at the road. There he saw Cynthia sticking out of a limo sunroof and waving. He couldn’t make out what she was saying as the car drove away, but he was sure it was nonsense judging by the fact that she’d just been with the drunken fool in his arms. He was sure they’d shared more than one bottle of that ridiculous three-thousand-dollar wine they both liked so much while they discussed the latest gossip.

He waved as best he could with the dead-weight leaning against him. After she was gone he dragged the blond inside. Makoto had to admit he was a bit irked that he’d put down his book for this considering he could almost guarantee he’d find the housekey in Laurent’s pocket if he checked.

While this was technically his home, they basically lived together at this rate. Laurent spent more time here than at his own place, he had a little over half the closet to himself, and even brought over some of his favorite baubles to decorate with.

Of course all that happened gradually over time. They’d gotten more comfortable in their relationship and the transition was pretty natural. They’d even hosted meet ups with the girls out of this place a few times. It had gotten to the point that everyone knew to look for Laurent here first before anywhere else. Makoto wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

Makoto attempted to pull the blond off of himself so he’d stand on his own as he grumbled, “Ugh, back up. You stink.”

Laurent lifted his head and looked at him as if he’d only just realized he was there. He stared unblinking for a nearly uncomfortable amount of time before his gaze fell downward and he muttered, “You… have a really kissable mouth…”

“Yeah, thanks.” Makoto finally managed to pull free from him so he could close and lock the door. Annoying as this whole thing was, he supposed he couldn’t really complain since he did come home a little less than sober last week. Though that wasn’t his fault. He and Abby had their martial arts class then she insisted on drinks afterward. It was near impossible to deny her anything on a normal day, never mind one when he’d witnessed her kick several wooden boards in half simultaneously without breaking a sweat.

Makoto turned back around to find Laurent in his personal space. The blond leaned in and he leaned back just slightly, mostly on instinct, not because he’d be opposed to a kiss or anything. He blinked in surprise when Laurent stopped abruptly and put his hand over his face as if he’d been the one ignoring the existence of personal space. Makoto didn’t even get the chance to voice his displeasure with the situation before the blond spoke.

“No! We mustn’t! I’m happily taken!” Laurent declared loudly and with an unnecessary amount of drama.

“I realize that,” Makoto grumbled, his voice muffled behind the hand upon his face. This certainly wasn’t the norm. Usually Laurent only drank enough for a buzz or slightly more than that. Generally it wasn’t to the point that he didn’t recognize him. He and Cynthia sure threw all caution to the wind earlier.

Makoto pulled the hand away from himself and narrowed his eyes at the drunk idiot he called his boyfriend. Anyone else would’ve been suspicious of their partner spending the whole evening drinking with a gorgeous woman then showing up like this. He was lucky that Makoto was a good, trusting person. The jerk.

“You’re quite the temptation with a cute butt and alluring smile,” Laurent continued, “but I won’t give in.”

Makoto’s tone was flat to match the expression on his face when he replied, “You’re literally groping my ass right now.” He jumped when there was a particularly hard squeeze of the cheek in the blond’s hand.

“Have I told you about my darling?” Laurent asked, totally lost in his own world and ignoring Makoto’s response. “He’s tiny and full of anger like a little firecracker waiting to explode. It’s the cutest thing.”

Makoto ground his teeth. What this jerk neglected to mention was that nine times out of ten he was the source of said anger. He knew just which buttons to press and enjoyed every moment of setting him off.

Laurent didn’t even notice that he was pressing buttons right now. In fact, he seemed lost in whatever imaginary world was playing in his head. He motioned dramatically as he declared, “And his eyes! Dark enough to get sucked into at any moment yet somehow so full of a light that rivals the stars themselves. The way they shine when he smiles makes my chest ache every single time.”

Whatever anger had been bubbling beneath the surface dissipated and Makoto stood there dumbstruck. He wasn’t sure if the words themselves were more embarrassing or the fact that his cheeks were burning because of them was. Stuff like that really should come with a warning or something. How was one supposed to prepare for it otherwise?

Laurent was still very lost in his own thoughts as he smiled and added, “He has the funniest accent too. Though it has gotten better, it’s still enough to make me chuckle sometimes, which he absolutely hates!”

“Gee, I wonder why…” Makoto muttered.

Laurent put his hand over his heart and gripped his shirt tightly. He lifted his chin so it pointed towards the ceiling and shut his eyes then sighed dreamily. A little smile played at the edges of his lips as he hummed, “I really love him...”

Makoto scratched idly at his cheek. He wasn’t sure if this was weird yet. Maybe it was still kind of sweet. Either way, it was something he wouldn’t let the blond live down for a while. He looked off to the side and mumbled, “I’m sure he feels the same way.”

“I do hope so since I got him this!” Laurent reached into his pocket and removed something small. He smiled fondly at it for a moment before he showed it to the other man.

Makoto stiffened. He stared at the object wide-eyed and unblinking while his brain tried to process what he saw. A ring. That was a gold ring lined in sparkling diamonds. Makoto was so surprised that he couldn’t remember how to speak. His jaw dropped and he shut it again a moment later. This was something he definitely didn’t see coming. Not that much was predictable with Laurent, but…

“Shh, don’t tell him,” Laurent interrupted Makoto’s train of thought. He waited for the dark-haired man to look his way then winked and said, “It’s a secret for now.”

Makoto smiled a crooked half-smile but didn’t respond. Was a secret. Past tense.

Laurent pulled the ring back to himself and smiled at it. He never took his gaze off the shiny band as he added, “I’m going to buy a disgusting amount of land and build us a beachfront home on it. We’ll move in and then one evening when the sun is setting as we stare out at the endless sea he’ll smile fondly at the gorgeous view that’s ours alone. My heart will threaten to beat right out of my chest and I’ll know the moment is right. That’s when I’ll ask for his hand.”

What kind of romantic bullshit was this? Makoto’s whole face burned as heat exploded in his cheeks. He could hardly process any of what was happening right now. Makoto cleared his throat and tucked his hair behind his left ear. His pulse was racing, his palms were a bit clammy, and all he wanted to do was hug the blond. There was no possible way he could be any more embarrassed as he muttered, “Why, um, wait that long…?”

“It has to be perfect!” Laurent exclaimed. He stuffed the ring back into his pocket then motioned with both hands dramatically to emphasize his point. There was a wide grin upon his face as he added, “That’s what he deserves for putting up with my bullshit all the time.”

“You’re a lot more self-aware than one would think,” Makoto said mostly to himself.


“Nothing, I just…” Makoto shook his head side to side quickly. He felt his cheeks burn even more as he mumbled, “I bet he’ll be happy. When you finally ask, I mean.”

“I like to think so too,” Laurent agreed with a wink. He turned to study the art print hanging on the wall for a moment. He tilted his head at the snowy scene and blinked as he added, “After everything we’ve been through, I just want to be the reason he smiles, you know? A comfortable piece of his otherwise hectic life.”

“Laurent…” Makoto’s voice trailed off. The fact that he was generally the reason things got hectic aside, this guy should not be so smooth while drunk. He couldn’t take much more of it.

Laurent turned towards him with that infamous grin upon his face. He wiggled his eyebrows and asked, “Yes, sexy stranger?”

“I’m neither of those things,” Makoto sighed. He motioned towards his outfit as he said, “I’m literally wearing the oldest pair of pajamas I own. Not to mention I didn’t bother to brush my hair after lying on the couch for so long.”

“I like them. You look very cozy. Good for cuddling.” Laurent disagreed with a cheeky smile. That widened into a mischievous grin before he added, “Though I’m sure they’d look even better in a pile on the floor.”

“You just can’t turn it off, huh?” Makoto asked without missing a beat. He watched as Laurent shut his eyes and crinkled his nose at him. Makoto let out a defeated sigh and shook his head. Then he started to unbutton his shirt and said, “All right, I give in. You’ve seduced me. Let’s get it over with.”

“Have some dignity!” Laurent all but yelped. He put his hand over the one opening the shirt to stop the action.

“You suggested it,” Makoto reminded him. He leaned in close, smiled a crooked half-smile, and maintained eye contact with the blond as he purred, “What your boytoy doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?”

Laurent’s eyes widened. He stood there unblinking for a moment as his mind processed the thought. After another second his brow furrowed and he frowned. He stepped backwards so he was at arm’s length from the other man then finally muttered, “I think you should leave.”

“I live here,” Makoto replied flatly.

“Playful words are all well and good but this…” Laurent’s gaze fell to where the tips of his fingers rested upon Makoto’s exposed clavicle. His hand fell away from the other man and he looked back into Makoto’s eyes and declared, “I’d sooner die than betray him like that.”

It was Makoto’s turn to be stunned silent for a moment. Whatever he’d expected to hear, it certainly hadn’t been that. Such sincerity from a man like Laurent was enough to make his chest ache. Drunk or not, there wasn’t a hint of a lie in either his expression or tone. Not to mention that ferocity in his blue eyes. Makoto kind of felt a bit bad for messing with him now. At the same time, he found himself overwhelmed by the feelings he harbored for this man.

Everything that’d happened in the last few minutes really made his head spin. From Laurent’s heartfelt words to the shock that was the ring, Makoto was overwhelmed by his intense feelings for the idiot. There was only one thing he could do when he felt this way. He stepped closer to the blond, put both hands on either side of his face, and kissed him.

Laurent pulled away with a loud gasp. He put his hands over his mouth which muffled his words as he exclaimed, “I can’t believe you just–!”

“Yeah, I’m pretty terrible.” Makoto held out both hands in an exaggerated shrug. He offered his best pout as he added, “But there’s no way he’d believe I instigated it. You’d better go order your partner some apology roses or better yet maybe import some of those coffee beans he really likes but never splurges on.”

“I will!” Laurent exclaimed. “Specialty chocolates too!”

Makoto had to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from laughing when the blond pulled out his phone and marched off while grumbling to himself. Messing with drunk Laurent wasn’t so bad when he got decent gifts out of it. Frankly, no one could tell him that he didn’t deserve them.

While the blond went and did whatever, Makoto headed to the kitchen and made himself a quick snack. Afterwards he meandered to the living room. Yep, that was where Laurent ended up. The guy was far more predictable than he thought. Though Makoto was a bit surprised to find that he’d fallen asleep leaning against the arm of the couch while still holding his phone. What a ridiculous man. Makoto pulled the throw blanket from where it was tossed across the back of the couch then covered Laurent. He didn’t need to deal with the whining that came with this guy getting sick.

He took a moment to admire the sleeping nuisance. When like this, it was hard to believe Laurent was such an asshole that nearly everyone he met knew him as “That French Bastard”. The layers to this man would most likely surprise almost everyone. Makoto sure hadn’t been expecting to discover that he was anything but a jerk. It was just his luck that he would find that out and end up liking the guy for who he was, then– much later down the line– actually fall in love with him. What a world.

Makoto sat on the free end of the couch carefully, so he didn’t disturb the slumbering blond. Though he wasn’t sure an earthquake could do that right now judging by his soft snores. He picked up the nearby remote and turned on the TV then lowered the volume. Time to watch some random rerun of whatever caught his attention first as he munched.


Two and a half episodes of some silly gameshow later, Makoto heard a soft groan. He glanced at Laurent and watched him remove the blanket he’d pulled over his head about thirty minutes ago. Their eyes met and Makoto only smiled then offered him a sip of the coffee in his hands. What timing that the guy would stir right after he’d made a fresh cup.

Laurent pushed himself to a seated position with a lot more effort than should’ve been necessary. He accepted the mug and took a sip then shut his eyes and let out a sigh. He licked his lips, scrunched his face, then said, “This tastes like it was made with love… and soy milk.”

Makoto snorted and rolled his eyes. As if he’d ever do something like that. He’d rather drink it black. Of course Laurent knew this. He narrowed his eyes at his companion then muttered, “You’ve sobered up, haven’t you?”

“Only just.” Laurent took another sip of the coffee. “I recognize you as my favorite little soybean at the very least.”

“Good enough.” Makoto huffed. He eyed the blond for a moment then a crooked smile spread across his face. Makoto waited for Laurent to hand him the mug then muttered, “Remind me again how my eyes shine like the stars themselves.”

Laurent made a choked sound then cleared his throat. “Please tell me I didn’t say something as cheesy as that.”

“Unfortunately you did and it only got worse from there,” Makoto replied. The way the blond looked at him with dread as if he was just waiting for him to give another example sure was hilarious. Instead of doing that, Makoto took a sip of his coffee.

Laurent blinked a few times before he finally laughed. Ah, well. There was nothing that could be done about it now. He pulled the blanket off of himself and stretched. Afterwards he crawled over to the other end of the couch. After giving Makoto a moment to set down the mug then stretch out across the couch, Laurent laid back down, making himself comfortable on his chest. Then he shut his eyes and let out a content sigh.

Makoto fiddled with the ends of Laurent’s hair at the base of his neck. It was getting a bit long and he’d probably be getting a trim soon. File that under things he’d never notice about anyone else. He really did spend too much time with this guy. The way his chest warmed at the thought was just a bit offensive. Much to his own dismay, Makoto knew there was nothing he could do about that. He was already in far too deep. He bent down and pressed a kiss to Laurent’s forehead. His lips lingered against the warm skin for an extra second before he mumbled, “You still stink. Go take a bath.”

“Mm, but I’m still lightheaded.” Laurent muttered. He nuzzled Makoto then pouted and added, “If I do that, I might slip and die.”

“It’d be a lot quieter around here if you did,” Makoto replied without missing a beat.

“Ouch, so mean.” Laurent chuckled then squeezed the arm around Makoto just a bit tighter. His voice was a teasing singsong when he added, “If you want me to bathe, you’ll just have to join me.”

“Why does agreeing to that feel like you’ve won somehow?” Makoto grumbled. He watched Laurent lift his head and grin at him. This guy was really the world’s biggest pain and dammit Makoto was going to kiss that smirk off his stupid face if it was the last thing he did.




“Ahh, that was refreshing!” Laurent chirped as he stepped out of the master bathroom and into the bedroom. Naked and unashamed, Laurent hummed to himself while he wandered about looking for where he’d set down his comb earlier. His hair was mostly dry and it needed a quick brush to make sure it was knot-free.

“It would’ve been better if you stopped tickling me every other second…” Makoto grumbled as he followed him out. He stretched and the towel around his waist dipped just slightly.

“That was my favorite part, mon amour.” Laurent chuckled. “You got so worked up that you snorted like a cute little piggy.”

“That’s not a compliment!” Makoto shrieked. He turned to glare at the blond but was caught by surprise when he found Laurent much closer than he’d been a moment ago. Makoto’s cheeks started to burn, betraying him like they loved to do.

Laurent’s eyes shined with a familiar, mischievous gleam and then he kissed the shorter man’s forehead. He took a step by him and towards the bed then paused, yanked the towel free of his waist, and smacked his now bare butt.

Makoto barely had a chance to squeak before Laurent pulled him so they tumbled onto the bed together. He ended up with a face full of pillow while the blond chuckled softly next to him. After a bit of a struggle that was more like a lighthearted wrestling match than anything else, Makoto finally found himself comfortable. With Laurent’s left arm cradling his back and his head on the blond’s bare chest, he could feel the stress of his day melting away. Laurent yawned and Makoto listened to the sound of his heartbeat as his chest rose by his ear. What a relaxing sound.

Now that Laurent smelled like that horribly expensive imported body wash he liked so much he didn’t mind being very close. Makoto rubbed his cheek against the pec he laid upon then shut his eyes and inhaled the masculine scent of his boyfriend’s skin. He was content. He could sleep just like this. It was a few moments later when he felt movement that he reopened them.

Makoto’s eyes immediately focused on the shining ring that Laurent held above them. He turned it side to side and the diamonds along it sparkled enticingly. Makoto had no clue where he’d even pulled that out of right now. He also didn’t ask.

“You really got me to spoil the surprise, huh?” Laurent asked. “I had such grand plans…”

Ah, he did remember a bit of what happened. Makoto shook his head. “Nuh uh. You did that all on your own.”

Laurent closed his hand around the ring and said, “Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, I guess I should do this the right way.”

Oh? Like a real proposal? Now? Makoto’s pulse quickened at the thought. It certainly was an intimate moment for such a thing, he’d give the guy that. He found himself surprised when Laurent didn’t actually ask anything. Instead, he reached over to his nightstand to grab his phone. Makoto’s confusion was palpable as he watched Laurent dial some number then put it on speaker while it rang. A familiar voice answered in Japanese and Makoto’s brow furrowed. He glanced at Laurent and was met with a wink then the blond spoke.

“Oz, it’s been a while!”

“Not nearly long enough if you ask me,” Seiji sighed. One could practically hear him massaging his temples as he asked, “What do you want, Laurent?”

“Nothing major, I promise I’ll be quick,” Laurent hummed.


“I’m just calling to ask for your precious son’s hand in marriage,” Laurent explained. His gaze never left the extremely surprised look upon Makoto’s face. It was clear that he couldn’t believe what was happening. He cupped his boyfriend’s cute, burning cheek and smiled warmly.

“Wh–! Absolutely not! Since when are the two of you even in that kind of relationship! Hey! Explain yourself, bast–!”

“Yes indeed, love truly is a beautiful thing. I’m glad we agree.” Laurent said, completely ignoring the swears from the other end of the phone. He removed Makoto’s hand from over his own mouth and watched him purse his lips together. Laurent brought it to his face then placed a sweet kiss upon his wrist. He kept his gaze upon Makoto as he tilted his head towards the phone just slightly and said, “I appreciate the blessing, Dad.”

What did you just call m–!”

Laurent hung up before the next string of swears began. His smile widened when Makoto burst into a fit of laughter. He watched as Makoto rolled onto his back, clutched his sides, and cackled until he had tears in his eyes.

Once he finally managed to get the laughter under control he wiped the corners of his eyes and rolled over to face the blond. There was nothing he could do about the smile that stretched across his face as he slapped Laurent’s pec lightly and yelled, “He’s going to show up here and murder you for that!”

Laurent caught his wrist before he could pull the hand away. He slipped the ring onto Makoto’s finger with a soft hum. It was a perfect fit, just like them. Laurent kissed the sparkling band then purred, “Not if you run away with me first.”

“Where to?” Makoto asked, his eyes glued to the row of diamonds the likes of which he’d never seen. He could tell they were real and no expense was spared. Was that even possible? Maybe he’d finally lost his mind.

“Somewhere he’ll never find us. No one will. Our own private world.” Laurent threaded their fingers together and continued to smile at the awestruck look upon Makoto’s face.

“Cheesy bullshit.” Makoto snorted. He scooted closer to the blond and kissed him. The arms that wrapped around him felt so good, so comforting. If he had to put a word to it, he’d say they felt just like home. There was no place he’d rather be. He pulled away just enough to sigh against Laurent’s lips then whisper, “What are we waiting for? Let’s go already.”