I’ve never been a stranger to it.
All I can feel these days is a varying amount of pain.
Everything is painful.
Happiness, sadness, anger, love…..
As I stare down at the two tiny bundles in my arms, my newborn babies, my loves, my hearts, my everything, all I can feel in this moment is pain.
So much fucking pain, and not just the pain from having my stomach cut open to welcome my sons into this world. It’s pain from having to bring these beautiful bundles of joy into my fuck up world of nothing but pain and darkness, pain from losing Shijie, pain from having to leave Jiang cheng’s side, pain from failing Qing-Jie and A-ning. The pain of having to part with him….
Oh, Lan Zhan, we have two sons… im sorry, im so fucking sorry, I never got to tell you about my pregnancy, we never...we never stood a chance, Did we, Lan Zhan?….
I’d like to think...maybe, just maybe we could have had our happy ending, you, our sons and I, but I ruined it, im so sorry Lan Zhan, im sorry you had to fall in love with such a fuck up, but hey…. Maybe in another life, if I even get one... we can all be together again, my love…. We could have a proper wedding then, not one half-ass accidental wedding in a cold pond cave filled with bunnies.
“Ah, my babies” I whisper gently while stroking a finger softly over each infant’s nose.
“I'm so sorry babies, mama is so s-sorry” I sob, covering my eyes with one hand, before gently setting the babies in a basket. “A-yuan, A-Jian, Mama failed you. I am so sorry babies, I can’t protect you anymore, I seem to have run out of strength” I say before letting out a watery laugh.
“You two must be better than mama okay, be more like baba” I sob out another laugh before breaking down. “You must be good, okay babies, you are gonna grow up big and strong my hearts…” I whisper to them peppering kisses on their faces.
“Baba will find you, im hoping he finds you” I sniff. “He will take you to the clouds, it is so beautiful there my loves, they have little rabbits there, cute and soft j-just like you” I sob out breaking down again.
“I love you, I love you both so so much” I give them each a kiss on their little identical noses before I hear a shout.
“WEI WUXIAN, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!”
“Shit”, I hurry and grab the basket wincing in pain as I pull my stitches.
I take the basket and hide it behind the big stone slab I keep my projects on.
“A-Jian, A-Yuan”, I breathe out a shaky breath as tears run down my cheeks.
“Mama has to go now my loves, m-mama is so sorry,” I whisper before leaving a final kiss on the infant's forehead. “I love you, my beautiful boys”, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.
With one last touch, I cover the basket with a blanket and stand up on shaky legs, before turning and walking out of the cave slowly.
Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators standing before the Demon Slaughtering Cave yelling out for his death.
Wei Wuxian sees Jiang cheng walking towards him, before he can open his mouth and speak, Jiang cheng stabs him in the stomach with sandu.
“Wei Wuxian, go to hell!”
Wei Wuxian coughs out a mouthful of blood before pushing Jiang cheng back gently, sword and all.
Once he sees Jiang cheng at a safe distance he reaches into his robes and pulls out the stygian tiger seal.
The crowd of cultivators yells out in rage and fear. "HE'S GOING TO USE THE TIGER SEAL, STOP HIM!"
"KILL THE YILING PATRIARCH!" The cultivators yell out before charging towards Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian immediately starts pouring all his energy into the seal breaking it down. Resentful spirits and creatures yelling in his head outrage that their host is trying to destroy them.
He continues pouring energy into the seal breaking it down till none is left.
A strong wave of energy is sent out causing the charging cultivators to fly back.
Jiang Cheng "Wei Wuxian what are you doing!" He yells out in rage.
Wei Wuxian, "Jiang Cheng, I'm sorry...and thank you," Wei Wuxian says with a sad but content smile on his face.
Jiang Cheng's eyes widened when he realized what had happened.
"Wei Wuxian!" He calls out unconsciously in shock.
Wei Wuxian looks towards the cave where he knows his children lie one last time before looking back at Jiang Cheng
"Please don't hurt them." He says.
Jiang Cheng, "What-" he goes to say but it's already too late, the fierce corpses that were once fighting the cultivators turn towards Wei Wuxian and attack at full speed.
With one last look at Jiang Cheng, he smiles.
The Yiling Patriarch was ripped to pieces by his demonic army.
Jiang Cheng stands there in shock, cheers of his fellow cultivators cheering for the death of Wei Wuxian.
As they were about to leave, loud shrills of crying echoed through the burial mounds.
Stopping the cheering cultivators in their tracks.
Jiang Cheng runs into the cave then quickly runs out with a large basket he sets the basket on the ground gently, all the cultivators staring in anticipation.
Jiang Cheng peels the blanket back….
Two sets of eyes... bright silver and bright gold staring back at him...
Gasps ring out through the crowd.
Two babies, not even three days old….
The babies have very similar facial features all except the eyes, it's no doubt who the parents of these infants are to Jiang Cheng.
"What have I done…" he mutters out in anguish "no…"
He goes to touch one of the infants and a bright blinding light shines knocking everyone unconscious.