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Seeking Solace

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Iwaizumi hated finals week. For as calm and collected as he was during most of the semester, his stoic resolve always seemed to crumble when it was time to take multiple big exams back to back to back. He could handle one big project here and there during most of the semester because one project for one class meant easy work for the rest of his classes. However, having to stress over multiple projects and exams at a single given time was a lot more than he could handle when he also had to deal with going to work, too.

Iwaizumi recognized that he wasn’t the only one who was currently trying to keep their head above water. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Suga for more than five minutes. The library had seemed to become his new home because he’d pop into the apartment to freshen up after class or work and then he’d be running out of the door. The same went for Oikawa and Daichi as well, except Oikawa studied with a group of close classmates at a cafe and Daichi studied with a tutor in the tutoring center. Iwaizumi studied the most at work when he was on break or at home since no one else was usually around.

The apartment had been fairly quiet for the past few weeks since everyone had hunkered down in their respective study spaces to get a headstart on studying and retaining much needed exam information. Sometimes Iwaizumi appreciated having alone time, but alone time usually only lasted a few hours. He was beginning to loathe sitting in the silence of the apartment since coming home to an unoccupied living space was beginning to become the new normal. Not only did the silence bother him, but not being able to be with his boyfriends did, too.

He hadn’t touched any of them intimately since before they began preparing for finals. Iwaizumi didn’t think he needed sex in order to survive, but it was nice to participate in every once in a while. The most they’d all received from each other were quick pecks before they were leaving for their designated study spaces or sleepy kisses in bed before drifting off for much needed sleep. It’d become so rare for the four of them to be in the apartment at the same time and not be too utterly exhausted or in a rush to be somewhere by a certain time.

That’s why Iwaizumi was surprised to walk into the apartment and not find Daichi, Suga, and Oikawa scrambling to put on their shoes and kissing one another goodbye. Instead, he found Daichi sitting on the couch with a textbook in his hands. Suga was sitting at the kitchen table and typing away on his computer while Oikawa was tending to a pot of ramen on the stove.

“What’s going on?” Iwaizumi asked warily.

“Hi, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa greeted, “and what do you mean?”

“No one’s scrambling to leave for studying.”

“I have to meet my tutor in an hour, so I’ve got time to rest here,” Daichi explained.

Oikawa glanced over his shoulder, “my study group isn’t meeting at the cafe today.”

“I do need to go to the library, but I plan to go later on,” Suga tacked on.

Iwaizumi nodded and smiled softly. “Okay. I’m going to shower.”

“Hurry back,” Oikawa called as Iwaizumi retreated down the hall.

It wasn’t uncommon for Iwaizumi to take long showers. He liked to just stand beneath the spray of the water and not have to think about anything important. Instead of doing such a thing today, Iwaizumi made sure to cleanse himself of his tiresome day and step out of the shower when he was done. He hadn’t been able to spend time with his boyfriends lately, and he didn’t want the opportunity to pass simply because he was wasting time in the shower.

When Iwaizumi stepped back into the living room after changing into comfortable clothes, he was pleased to find Daichi, Suga, and Oikawa in the exact same places they had been in when he left. There was a part of him that had been afraid of walking back into the living room to find one of them gone, or worse, all three.

“Hungry?” Oikawa asked. “I didn’t make much, but I figured it could be considered a snack to hold us until dinner.”

Iwaizumi nodded and took the bowl of ramen that Oikawa was offering him. He sat across from Suga at the table and took in the sight of him trying to eat his noodles without accidentally getting any broth on his computer. He hesitantly brought the noodles to his mouth and yelped in surprise when they nearly fell onto the keys.

“Why don’t you focus on simply eating for now?” Iwaizumi asked. “I’m sure you need a break from studying anyway. I bet you all do.”

Suga hummed and contemplated if taking a break was needed. He figured it was since he’d been studying for most of the day. He took little breaks here and there, but they never exceeded more than ten minutes. Sighing, he closed his laptop and gave Iwaizumi a small smile before properly focusing on eating his food. He shifted in his chair and lifted up his legs so he could settle his feet in Iwaizumi’s lap.

Iwaizumi didn’t have much of a problem with Suga’s feet being in his lap, so he continued to contently eat his noodles. However, he swallowed thickly when Suga began to rub his feet together. It was something he did unconsciously and Iwaizumi, Daichi, and Oikawa had come to realize this when it was pointed out to Suga during a night of cuddling in bed and he had blushed with embarrassment.

Unlike the time he had used his feet to get Iwaizumi hard on ‘Spoil Iwa Day,’ Iwaizumi could tell the rubbing of his feet wasn’t on purpose this time because Suga wasn’t looking at him at all. He was actually scrolling through his phone and laughing quietly at whatever was currently being viewed.

For some reason Iwaizumi felt a bit of dread as Suga continued to move his feet in his lap. He could feel himself getting aroused and he grimaced because now really wasn’t the time. Daichi, Suga, and Oikawa hadn’t been up for sex lately, and Iwaizumi didn’t blame them. It was a stressful time and as much as they all loved having sex with each other, they had more important things to focus on. It’d been so long though, and Iwaizumi would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t the least bit interested in maybe getting off. He wasn’t sure how open Suga, Daichi, or Oikawa would be about it, though, so he still worried.

He didn’t have to worry for long because he could tell the moment Suga realized he was hard. His feet stopped moving and he looked up from his phone with a quirked brow. Suga thought about pulling his feet away, but a glance at the clock told him he had plenty of time to resume studying later on. He shifted his foot and smirked as Iwaizumi shuddered before looking over his shoulder at Daichi and Oikawa.

“Koushi,” Iwaizumi said, taking notice of his shifted gaze. He didn’t really know what else he wanted to say.

“I’ve accidentally gotten Hajime excited,” Suga announced.

“About?” Oikawa asked curiously. “Is there a new Godzilla movie coming out or something?”

Suga laughed, “no.”

“Actually,” Iwaizumi interrupted, “there is. It’s coming out at the end of the month…”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Daichi stated. “You want to see it in the theater, right?”

Iwaizumi nodded and Suga waved his hands in the air. “Godzilla is beside the point! I meant that I’ve made Hajime hard. I think he wants to play.”

“Oh,” Daichi said softly. He checked the time and shrugged his shoulders, “I’ve got time before I have to leave.”

“I’m open,” Oikawa said simply.

Suga looked at Iwaizumi expectantly as he waited for a response. Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders and tried his best to come off as nonchalant even though he was itching to get his clothes off right that second. “I mean… If no one else minds, and we have the time…”

Suga clapped his hands together before standing up. “It’s settled then.”

“Can we use the rope?” Iwaizumi asked as he stood up as well.

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

Oikawa made a noise. “I have a request, too. I was looking online for other positions to tie you up in and I found one that I think you’d like. It involves a chair.”

“A chair?” Daichi repeated.

Oikawa nodded and proceeded to pull his phone from his pocket. He tapped away at it for a moment before showing the screen to Daichi and then crossing the room to show Iwaizumi and Suga next. The two took in the image of the illustrated man tied to a chair. He was straddling the chair backwards with his butt hanging off the edge. His right ankle was tied to the front right leg of the chair and his left ankle was tied to the front left leg. The man’s arms were tied behind his back and his chest was resting against the front side of the chair back.

“We’d have to push the chair up against a wall so it doesn’t tip over or have someone standing behind it,” Oikawa explained. “That is if you want to do it, Iwa-chan.”

“I’ll do it. It looks like it’ll be good.”

Oikawa cheered before turning to the bedroom, “I’ll be back with the rope.”

Daichi pulled out one of the chairs from the kitchen table while Suga captured Iwaizumi’s lips in a kiss. Understanding that he was to relinquish control, Iwaizumi allowed Suga to slip his tongue into his mouth. He hummed softly when he felt hands dip beneath his shirt. Suga’s fingers ran along his abs and chest before ghosting over his nipples. They hardened from the slight touch and Iwaizumi just knew that it’d been way too long since he’d last been intimately touched.

At the sound of Oikawa’s footsteps getting closer, Suga pulled away from Iwaizumi. He smiled in amusement as Iwaizumi continued to lean forward in hopes of their kiss not ending yet. “You’ll get more later,” he assured. His hands grabbed for the hem of Iwaizumi’s shirt and he pulled it up and over Iwaizumi’s head. He got his pants off next and eyed the noticeable bulge of his boxers. He shimmied the clothing item down Iwaizumi’s toned legs and since the man’s erection was so close to his face, Suga didn’t hesitate to take just the tip into his mouth. He suckled briefly and immediately pulled off when Iwaizumi’s hips jerked in surprise.

“Foreplay today?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. He felt too desperate. It wasn’t the first time they’d skipped foreplay. They often passed it up when partaking in quickies. Iwaizumi didn’t feel like he particularly needed the teasing touches and tantalizing kisses to get him warmed up. He was already hard and looking forward to being fucked, and he knew Daichi had to leave soon, and he wanted him there for the main part. He felt okay going straight to preparation.

Suga stood up and placed his hands on Iwaizumi’s shoulders before turning him around and gently nudging him forward. Daichi helped Iwaizumi get into position on the chair that had been pulled out for him, and Oikawa proceeded to tie him to it. The position wasn’t the most comfortable one Iwaizumi had ever been in, but he wasn’t hurting anywhere.

“Do you feel okay?” Oikawa asked. “The ropes aren't too tight, right? Are you straining?”

Iwaizumi nodded his head, “yes to the first question, the ropes feel fine, and no, I’m not straining.”

“Colors, please,” Daichi requested from where he stood to Iwaizumi’s right.

“Green means keep going, yellow means slow down, and red means stop.”

Fingers carded through Iwaizumi’s hair and he leaned into the touch. “Good. Are you ready to start?”

“Yes, please,” he said, voice soft. He could already feel himself beginning to relax into the role of submission. He never would’ve imagined something as simple as rope being able to take him into such a headspace before. However, as he sat restrained to a chair with his arms secured behind his back, Iwaizumi could understand. He was in constant control all of the time during everyday life, so it was nice being able to relinquish that control over to one person, or in his case, three.

The familiar snapping of the lube bottle was the only warning Iwaizumi received before he felt a touch at his hole. He jolted in surprise and Daichi was quick to place a hand on the back of the chair in order to keep it steady. Suga moved to stand in front of Iwaizumi and acted as yet another measure to ensure his safety. As he stood in front of him, he peered down at Iwaizumi’s face and studied his features. He couldn’t see Oikawa preparing to stretch Iwaizumi open, but he could tell the exact moment he started to do so. Iwaizumi’s eyebrows knitted inward and he huffed out a soft breath.

“You’re really tight, Hajime,” Oikawa observed.

“Been a while,” Iwaizumi replied in a clipped tone. He balled his hands into fists as Oikawa’s finger completely pushed inside of him. It rubbed against him and even though it was just one, it still made him shudder.

Oikawa hummed but said nothing more as he focused on getting Iwaizumi open. By the time he’d worked up to three fingers, Iwaizumi was trying so hard to rut himself against the digits inside of him. Feeling gracious, Oikawa curled his fingers towards Iwaizumi’s prostate and watched as the man’s thighs tensed and toes curled. He moaned happily and Oikawa could even see Iwaizumi’s cock dripping precum from where it hung between his spread legs.

Oikawa gave a pat to Iwaizumi’s butt before smiling. “Who do you want?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Iwaizumi answered quickly. “Just someone get in me, please.”

“Eager,” Oikawa replied as he unzipped his pants. He looked at Daichi and Suga, but they both motioned for him to continue.

“But still so polite,” Suga added. Since he was still standing in front of Iwaizumi, he watched as his mouth fell open as Oikawa lined himself up and pushed himself inside. Oikawa’s hands found Iwaizumi’s waist and he used them to gain the leverage to start up a nice, steady pace.

“Harder,” Iwaizumi stated because it wasn’t enough.

“Koushi just got finished complimenting you on how polite you’re being,” Daichi chuckled, “and yet you’ve already forgotten your manners.”

“Plus, I don’t think you’re in any position to be calling the shots, Hajime,” Oikawa stated as he slowed down the thrusting of his hips. He pulled his cock out completely and settled for simply watching Iwaizumi clench around nothing as he tried to shift his body.

“I’m sorry,” Iwaizumi apologized curtly. He wanted to be within their good graces so they felt more inclined to give him what he wanted. “It’s just been a really long time since we’ve had sex. I want to be able to feel it tomorrow.”

Oikawa thumbed at Iwaizumi’s hanging sac before eyeing the clock on the wall. If Daichi wanted a turn then Oikawa was going to have to stop wasting precious time. Iwaizumi’s request was appealing and he certainly knew that he wasn’t going to mind witnessing Iwaizumi limping around tomorrow. Without saying a word, Oikawa guided the head of his cock back to Iwaizumi’s hole and bucked his hips forward. He listened to the sharp intake of breath from Iwaizumi before proceeding to quickly and harshly fuck into him.

Iwaizumi’s back arched and he let a guttural groan crawl up his throat as Oikawa’s hips repeatedly met his ass over and over again. Pleasure laced around his spine and he accidentally cried out when Oikawa unexpectedly nailed his prostate. Usually it took him a while to pay attention to it, but not today, which was fine because slow wasn’t what Iwaizumi wanted anyway. He strained against the ropes keeping him in place and whined at the delicious slide of Oikawa’s cock. His own cock was still hanging untouched between his thighs, hard and aching as it steadily dripped precum onto the seat of the chair.

Iwaizumi blinked when there was a sudden thumb being pressed to his lips. His eyes shifted upward and caught Suga’s interested gaze. Through his pleasure filled mind, Iwaizumi struggled to figure out what Suga wanted from him until his thumb added a bit more pressure against his lips. A soft moan left his mouth when he let his jaw fall open and Suga’s thumb immediately filled the space. The pad of his thumb pressed against Iwaizumi’s tongue as he stroked against it and tested just how far back the digit could go.

Suga looked Iwaizumi in the eye and moved his thumb further and further. He could both feel and see the way Iwaizumi struggled to swallow around the digit. His adam’s apple bobbed and his mouth was particularly wet with spit since he couldn’t properly swallow it down.

“Iwa,” Oikawa said as his hands moved lower to cup Iwaizumi’s ass. He watched himself slide in and out of the alpha. “I’m close already.”

At the declaration, Iwaizumi tried telling Oikawa not to pull out, but it only sounded like a garbled mess since Suga’s thumb was still in his mouth. He clenched down around Oikawa and could feel his thrusts begin to falter. Oikawa moaned and drove his hips into Iwaizumi one last time before beginning to come. He draped himself over Iwaizumi’s back and desperately grinded his hips as he rode out his orgasm.

Iwaizumi’s eyebrows knitted inward at the harsh pressure against his prostate even though his cock twitched. He felt Oikawa pull out and heard the shuffling of feet. When he tried to move his head to see what was going on, Suga tsked and kept a firm grip on his chin.

“Don’t worry about what’s going on around you,” he demanded. “Eyes on me. Understand?”

Iwaizumi nodded as best he could. He didn’t let his gaze leave Suga’s brown eyes, not even when he felt a hand grip at the rope keeping his wrists tied together. Daichi settled into the spot where Oikawa once was and admired Iwaizumi’s ass. His cheeks were slightly red from where Oikawa’s hips had kept repeatedly hitting against them. Oikawa’s cum was already beginning to make its way down Iwaizumi’s thighs, so Daichi decided to not wait any longer.

He pulled himself out of his pants and guided himself into Iwaizumi’s hole. He rumbled at the warmth surrounding his shaft and relished in how slicked up he was from taking Oikawa first. The slide was smooth and Daichi let his mouth hang open as he began to fuck Iwaizumi in earnest. He drove his hips forward and made sure to go as deep as he could get.

Iwaizumi sucked in a breath of air when Suga abruptly pulled his thumb from his mouth. His eyes drifted down to see where his hand had gone and he licked his lips when he realized that Suga was unzipping his pants. He pushed them and his boxers down just enough until he was able to pull out his cock.

Iwaizumi’s mouth was open before Suga could even tell him to open it. He hummed in appreciation and slowly filled his mouth. Suga’s cock was hot and heavy on Iwaizumi’s tongue as he wasted no time in beginning to bob his head. With Daichi filling him up nicely from behind and Suga continuously feeding him his cock, Iwaizumi felt like he was on cloud nine. He gagged when Suga began to fuck into him at the same time he moved his mouth down on his shaft.

The head of Suga’s cock hit the back of his throat and Iwaizumi went to pull off, but Suga was quick to grab a fistful of hair. Iwaizumi concentrated on breathing through his nose and tried his best to keep his eyes from rolling as Daichi harshly drove his dick into him. His thighs trembled at the rough treatment and his eyes began to water as Suga fucked his throat. It was all very intense, but it was exactly what Iwaizumi wanted. He wanted to be used because it felt like the perfect way to make up for the amount of time he hadn’t been able to properly spend with his boyfriends.

Iwaizumi’s entire body jerked in surprise when a hand fisted his erection. Daichi thumbed at his slit and smeared his precum along his shaft before beginning to stroke him in time with his thrusts. Iwaizumi whined and could feel his mind growing a bit hazy. He recognized what it was and realized he was just on the edge of slipping into subspace.

Suga stared down at Iwaizumi’s half lidded eyes and took notice of how pliant he was becoming. He felt himself twitch in Iwaizumi’s mouth and knew he was moments away from coming. He tapped at Iwaizumi’s temple to get his attention and spoke, “I’m going to come. Do you want to swallow? Hold up one finger for yes, two for no.”

Daichi immediately looked at Iwaizumi’s hand and announced his answer. “One finger.”

“Good boy,” Suga praised and shot a look at Daichi when he abruptly pitched forward and groaned.

Iwaizumi had become so abruptly tight around his cock at Suga’s words that it took Daichi by surprise. He found that he couldn’t get a grip on himself as he suddenly fell into his orgasm. Like Oikawa, he desperately rutted himself against Iwaizumi while squeezing and stroking his cock as he filled him with his cum. Daichi’s constant attention to Iwaizumi’s erection had the alpha rumbling deep in his chest as his hips stuttered forward and he came. His cock released thick spurts of cum as Daichi expertly stroked him through the pleasure.

Suga whimpered at the vibrations Iwaizumi’s rumbling had produced and he pushed his cock as far into Iwaizumi’s mouth as it could go. He kept a firm grip on his hair and held the man in place. He sucked his lip between his teeth as he shot his load down the back of Iwaizumi’s throat. He moaned lowly as Iwaizumi worked to swallow down all of the cum he’d been given.

When he felt like he had his bearings, Suga took a step back and pulled his cock out of Iwaizumi’s mouth. The alpha sucked in a breath of air and worked on getting his breathing under control. Suga grabbed a dish towel from a drawer and used it to wipe at Iwaizumi’s mouth before then using it to wipe his softening cock. He tucked himself back into his pants and passed the towel off to Daichi who used it to clean himself and Iwaizumi up before finally handing it over to Oikawa.

Daichi glanced at the clock and felt his heart skip a beat when he realized he’d underestimated how long it’d take him to reach an orgasm. “Shit,” he swore. “I’m late. I have to go.” Iwaizumi blinked slowly and could do nothing but watch him begin to scramble for his textbook and bookbag. “I’m so sorry I can’t stay.”

Oikawa waved him off, “it’s fine.”

Hastily, Daichi pressed kisses to all of their noses before slipping on his shoes and rushing out of the door. Iwaizumi tore his eyes away from where Daichi had once been when he felt the ropes being removed from his body.

“How do you feel, Hajime?” Oikawa asked.

“I feel okay,” Iwaizumi answered, voice a bit hoarse. He cleared his throat and carefully stretched out his limbs. His stomach growled and he felt his face heat up with a blush.

“Do you want me to run out and get dinner from that one restaurant on campus that you really like?” Suga asked. “The one with the sandwiches.”

Iwaizumi immediately nodded and Suga smiled before pecking his forehead. He did the same to Oikawa and turned to make his way to the front door. “I’ll be back.”

Iwaizumi looked to his left to find Oikawa cleaning up the mess he’d made on the seat of the chair. The omega peered up at him and smiled, “go clean yourself in the bath, yeah? I bet your muscles will ache less if you soak for a bit.”

Still feeling the telltale signs of a nearby subspace, Iwaizumi simply nodded his head and made his way to the bedroom. He grabbed new clothes and underwear and drew himself a bath. The water felt heavenly once he settled in and began to meticulously clean himself up. He didn’t think he’d sat for too long, so when he finally got out and returned to the living room fresh and clean, he was surprised to find it empty.

A sticky note was pressed to the table, so he approached it cautiously. Written in Oikawa’s familiar scrawl were the words ‘study group session is suddenly back on. Will be back later! I love you.’ Iwaizumi stared at the piece of paper before hearing his phone buzz from where it had never made it out of his bag. He went and fished it out to find a text from Suga.

‘Decided to stop by the library to check out a book I need. There’s a line, but hopefully I won’t be gone long. I’ve ordered the food to be delivered and have already paid. Tell Oikawa to make sure he doesn’t mix up my order with his since they’re very similar. I love you.’

Iwaizumi lifted his head to look around the kitchen and living room. He was having a difficult time wrapping his head around being alone because everything had happened so fast. Not even half an hour ago he was tied to a chair and being fucked. Now here he stood alone in an empty apartment. He felt like he’d been abandoned, but as he settled down on the couch, he wondered if it was really okay for him to feel such a way. It was finals week after all, and he was fully aware of just how important exams were. He didn’t want to take his boyfriends away from their studies, especially because he’d already done so when they were taking the time to have sex with him.

Feeling defeated, Iwaizumi simply settled for wrapping himself up in a blanket and waiting for the food to arrive. Once it did, he set aside the food that wasn’t his and ate his sandwich in silence. When finished, he yawned and took notice of how utterly drained he felt. He didn’t even feel like he had the strength to walk himself to bed, so he settled for simply laying down on the couch. He turned to lay on his side and proceeded to find sleep quickly.

Iwaizumi had no idea how long he’d been asleep for, but he knew it’d been hours when he opened his eyes to find a dark living room. He forced himself to sit up and grimaced at the ache in his muscles. He knew the position he’d been tied in hadn’t been the most comfortable, but he was really hoping the warm bath would’ve soothed some of his muscles and alleviated some soreness before it could occur. Carefully, he stood up from the couch and shuffled into the bedroom as quietly as he could.

He was a bit pleased to find Oikawa, Daichi, and Suga sleeping in their usual position. Daichi was on one edge of the bed while Suga and Oikawa were occupying the middle. Iwaizumi didn’t hesitate in slipping in beside Suga and settling down. Suga shifted in his sleep and woke up a bit at the new warmth that appeared on his right.

“Mm,” he hummed sleepily and touched a hand to Iwaizumi’s cheek. “I tried waking you so you could move to the bed, but you were out like a light. Decided to just let you sleep since it seemed like you needed it.”

Iwaizumi nodded but didn’t speak. He was far too tired to do so. He settled for pressing a kiss to Suga’s forehead to let him know his words had been heard. He dropped his head onto his pillow and slipped back into slumber before he knew it.

When he woke up a second time, it was morning and a small bit of light was peeking through the curtains hanging in front of the window. From where he was resting on his side, Iwaizumi took in the empty space beside him. He knew no one else was in the apartment because he couldn’t smell Oikawa, Suga, or Daichi, nor could he hear them. He was alone which wasn’t particularly surprising, but it still hurt waking up to.

As he continued to lay in bed, Iwaizumi noticed how terrible he felt. He knew he’d received more than enough asleep, yet he felt physically drained. He felt exhausted despite literally just waking up and he contemplated going back to sleep before realizing he couldn’t. He had to get to his morning class so he could take his final exam. Even though he knew he needed to move, it took Iwaizumi five minutes to actually sit up, and then it took ten more to stand. He groggily grabbed clothes for the day and slinked into the bathroom so he could shower and look presentable.

By the time he was dressed and slipping on his shoes to leave, he realized he was running late. He knew it was important to get to his classroom on time, but for some reason he just couldn’t find it in himself to care. He was tired and his body was sore and he felt like there was a weight on his shoulders. All he wanted to do was sleep, but he forced himself into stepping out of the apartment and going to class anyway.

When he got there and had been given his exam, Iwaizumi stared down at the diagrams in utter confusion. He knew he’d studied hard for this particular exam and he knew that he knew the information well; however, as he looked over the images and terminology, he couldn’t seem to remember any of the studied information. His brain felt foggy and he swallowed thickly as he flipped through the pages of the test. Each new page just looked like a wall of unreadable text and he could feel himself growing anxious at the idea of failing his exam.

If he failed then that meant he’d have to retake the class which meant he would have to wait until Summer because they didn’t offer the class during Winter break and he couldn’t wait that long because then it’d push his graduation back because he’d be a class behind and what would he do if he didn’t graduate on time and how the hell was he supposed to become an athletic trainer if he couldn’t even pass one measly exam and what if no one hired him because of that and and and-

“Shit,” Iwaizumi swore. The person beside him shot him a perturbed glance before going back to their exam and Iwaizumi dropped his head into the palm of his hands. Get a hold of yourself, he thought. Not once had he ever felt so damn anxious when not knowing information for a test. He moved to press a hand to his chest and mentally willed his heart to stop beating so rapidly.

He tucked his lip between his teeth and concentrated on calming down so he wouldn’t succumb to his anxiety in the middle of the damn classroom. When he felt like he’d gotten himself a tiny bit together, he picked up his pencil and flipped back to question one. It took him reading the question five times to actually understand what was being asked, and even then he still didn’t know what the hell the answer was. He wrote down what he thought was best before moving on to the next question.

It took him far longer than he’d like to admit to get through the exam, but when he was finished, he felt no relief at all. He just felt like he wanted to sit down in a corner and cry. Such a response wasn’t like him at all, and Iwaizumi knew this, but he just couldn’t stop himself from wanting to do such a thing. He checked the time and was grateful for the few hours he had before he needed to be at his next class for his next exam. He also didn’t have work today which was a plus because there was no way he was going to be able to go if he did.

The apartment was still empty when he returned and he felt so sad seeing it vacant. He wanted his boyfriends home with him, but he knew they were busy and he knew he couldn’t call or text them to come home simply because he was lonely. It would be such an inconvenience for them if he did that and he remembered how Suga had initially reacted to Oikawa when he’d learned the reason as to why he had been out of the apartment a lot lately. He hadn’t taken Oikawa’s concern seriously and Iwaizumi didn’t want to potentially be on the receiving end of that. It was finals week and they were all busy and they all had important things to focus on that weren’t him.

Iwaizumi threw himself onto the bed the second he stepped into the room. He stuffed his face into a pillow and wished he hadn’t because it wasn’t his own. It was Oikawa’s and it smelled like citrus which only reminded him that he wasn’t currently there with him. Before he could stop himself, Iwaizumi began to cry. He sobbed into the fabric and clumsily reached for Daichi’s pillow as well as Suga’s. He held them close to his body and tried his best to take in all of their scents at once because that was as close as he was going to be able to get to them right now.

He had no perception of time as he laid there in bed and continued to cry. By the time he felt like he’d run out of tears, he could barely keep his eyes open. He was just so tired. He’d been tired all damn day and he wanted the feeling to just go away. He didn’t bother covering himself with a blanket as he succumbed to his blatant exhaustion. He simply hugged the pillows to his chest and closed his eyes.

Daichi was the one to find him that way. The moment he stepped into the apartment he took notice of the muggy scent of despair mixed in with Iwaizumi’s oak. The scent of despair was alarming and so was the fact that Iwaizumi was even home to begin with. Daichi knew he was currently supposed to be taking his exam, so why was he here in the apartment right now?

He quickly stepped out of his shoes and placed his bag on the floor. When he walked into the bedroom, he confusedly took in the sight of Iwaizumi’s body on the bed. He could see dried tears staining his face and he didn’t hesitate in approaching his sleeping form. He nudged his shoulder gently despite wanting to just shake him awake because he knew something wasn’t right.

“Hajime,” he said, voice soft but firm. “Hajime, wake up.”

“Wha-” Iwaizumi grunted at the jostling. He cracked open his eyes and blearily stared into Daichi’s own.

“What’s wrong? Why have you been crying? Why aren’t you taking your exam right now?”

Iwaizumi scrunched up his face in annoyance because the questions were too much for his sleep-heavy brain to handle at the moment. “I don’t care about the exam,” he grumbled. The last thing he wanted to think about was another stupid exam.

“What?” Daichi asked. He stared at Iwaizumi as he waited for an answer and nudged his shoulder again when he realized he had gone back to sleep. “Hajime, wake up. Are you drunk? Did you take some sort of drug? Sleeping pills or something?”

Iwaizumi shook his head, “no, I’m just tired.”

“You slept through the entire night.”

“I know,” Iwaizumi’s voice cracked and Daichi could do nothing but watch as his eyes began to glisten with oncoming tears. “I know I did, but I’m still so tired.”

“Sit up for me, please,” Daichi requested. He grabbed Iwaizumi’s wrists and pulled him into a sitting position. He continuously patted at the man’s cheek to fully rouse him into waking up. When Iwaizumi’s eyes were on him, Daichi took in a deep breath and cupped his face. “Are you sure you didn’t take anything? You’re not acting like yourself and I’m worried.”

Daichi knew Iwaizumi, and he knew that the man was serious about his studies. He’d never purposefully miss an exam if he could help it. He’d never start crying because he was tired.

“I didn’t take anything,” Iwaizumi assured. “I promise.”

Daichi still wasn’t convinced, so he stepped away from the bed and rummaged through the trash can in their bathroom for any stray pill packages. He checked the medicine cabinet as well to see if any pill bottles had been moved. None of them had and he felt just a bit of relief because Iwaizumi currently wasn’t under the influence of some unknown drug. He still wasn’t acting right though, which was still a cause for concern.

“Let’s go out to the living room, okay?” Daichi suggested. He’d left his bag there with his phone in it. He needed to text Suga and Oikawa and tell them to come home.

Getting Iwaizumi up wasn’t too hard, so when they made it to the living room, Daichi sat him down on the couch. At the sight of Daichi walking towards the door, Iwaizumi felt his chest ache with dread.

“Are you leaving?”

“Huh?” Daichi took in Iwaizumi’s panicked features and shook his head. “No, no, I’m not leaving. I’m just getting my phone. I’m going to tell Koushi and Tooru to come home.”

Iwaizumi held his head in his hands and Daichi watched him as he called Suga and Oikawa. He was grateful that they both had answered because he was able to make it a three-way call. “I need you guys to come home right now. There’s something wrong with Hajime.”

“What?” Suga asked worriedly.

“What do you mean?” Oikawa asked next. “What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know. He’s here instead of taking one of his exams and he’s been crying. He says he’s tired, but he’s slept through the entire night. I don’t know what’s going on. I just need you guys home, please.”

“I’m at the library, so I’ll be there soon.”

“I’m leaving the cafe now.”

Daichi nodded even though the two couldn’t see him. “Okay.” After hanging up the phone, Daichi approached Iwaizumi and sat down beside him. He placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Hajime, can you tell me what’s going on? You’re not acting like yourself.”

“I know,” Iwaizumi croaked. “I know I’m not and I know that I’ve known a lot of things today but yet I still feel like I don’t know them.”

Daichi blinked because Iwaizumi wasn’t making any sense to him at all. “Okay. Do you think you can explain what you mean?”

“I had one of my exams this morning and I woke up feeling like I was hungover. I know I slept through the night, so I don’t know why I was so tired. When I was taking my exam I knew that I had studied the material, but I couldn’t remember any of it and I don’t know why. I know there’s something wrong with me but I don’t know what it is.”

Daichi watched Iwaizumi as he lifted his head, and so he squeezed his shoulder. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it when he realized Iwaizumi wasn’t done.

“I know I’m missing another exam and I know that I should be upset about it, but I’m not. I might’ve failed my first exam and now I’m completely missing one. I’m going to fail both of those classes which is only going to push my graduation date back more which means I’m going to be behind while the rest of my classmates are ahead and employers are going to pass me up because they’re going to see that I failed two classes and they’re going to not want to hire me because who wants an athletic trainer that failed two of his university courses and I’m not going to be able to find a job and I do-” “Hey, hey, Hajime,” Daichi interrupted Iwaizumi’s frazzled rambling and nuzzled his face up against the older alpha’s neck so he could scent him. “Just breathe with me for a minute.”

Iwaizumi did. He turned to press his face against Daichi’s shoulder and matched his breathing until he felt somewhat calm. Daichi rubbed his back and tried searching his memories for a time where Iwaizumi was like this before. He couldn’t find any because this was literally his first time seeing him in such a disastrous state.

Daichi felt a bit of relief when the front door was suddenly being swung open and Oikawa and Suga were entering the apartment. The two kicked off their shoes and crossed the kitchen at record speed so they could kneel in front of Iwaizumi.

Suga placed a hand on his knee, “what’s going on?”

“Daichi called and said you’ve been crying. It’s not like you to cry,” Oikawa noted.

Daichi grimaced at Oikawa’s choice of words because he hadn’t been given the time to relay Iwaizumi’s words to them. They were going into the situation blind and had no idea what they should and shouldn’t say. Telling Iwaizumi things he knew was obviously something that should be avoided because it was only making him more upset. Daichi had expected Iwaizumi to start crying again, but instead he huffed in annoyance and stood to his feet.

He stepped a few feet away from them and proceeded to frown as he paced the room. “I know,” he stressed, “but I’ve just been feeling like complete and utter shit for the last day and a half. There’s so much that I know, but I can’t seem to retain. All I’ve been able to think about is how much you three have been away from me. We’re all so busy with finals and I understand that, but I’ve just been feeling so damn lonely.”

Suga stared wide-eyed at Iwaizumi’s agitated form. “Why didn’t you say?”

“Because it’s not fair for me to pull you three away from your studies. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been lonely, so it’s unfair to tend to just my needs. Plus, I’m an alpha, and I should be able to handle myself and suck shit up. I’ve been trying to do that all day, but I've just been here crying and feeling anxious and like I’m losing my damn mind.” Iwaizumi glared off into space as he tried to work himself down from his sudden state of annoyance. “I’m an alpha.”

“You are,” Oikawa confirmed because he felt like Iwaizumi needed to hear someone else say it.

Iwaizumi looked defeated, “so why don’t I feel like one?”

“Because you’re also you,” Daichi said. “You’re not just an alpha, Hajime. You’re a person who feels emotions and you’re currently feeling a lot of things right now which are okay to feel. Just because you’re an alpha doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to cry, or feel upset, or feel like you don’t have a hold on things. It’s okay to be an alpha and not have everything in order. Koushi, Tooru, nor myself expect you to always be strong.”

Daichi was fully aware of just how much Iwaizumi paid attention to his role of being head alpha. He knew that Iwaizumi took the title seriously and he knew that he always tried his best to be in control of himself. He never quite allowed himself to be vulnerable because being a vulnerable head alpha meant that he couldn’t properly protect the other members of his pack. It was his job to make sure everyone was safe, and if something went wrong then he was going to have to shoulder all of the blame. He never wanted to be the reason why Daichi, Suga, or Oikawa were hurt or unhappy, so he always made sure that he was of sound mind and body.

Daichi figured Iwaizumi went about it the wrong way, and his crying and frazzled rambling and annoyed ranting were all evidence of that. He’d neglected his own needs by staying silent about his feeling of loneliness and Daichi, Suga, nor Oikawa had noticed because they were all too focused on studying and passing their exams.

“When did you start feeling tired and anxious?” Suga asked. He’d pulled out his phone and was looking down at it intensely, but Daichi couldn’t see what exactly he was looking at from where he was sitting on the couch.

“After we had sex yesterday,” Iwaizumi answered.

“You didn’t go into subspace, right?”

“No, but I could feel that I was close. I was really happy that we were having sex because it was the first time in a while that we had all been in the apartment together and not rushing to leave.”

“Do you feel like you got enough aftercare after we were done having sex?”

Iwaizumi hesitated and Suga closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them again and looked up at Iwaizumi for his answer. He already knew what he was going to say.

“No,” Iwaizumi said, voice soft. “No, I don’t. I-” he rubbed at his face and shook his head. “Daichi left so fast because he was late for tutoring. You left to get us dinner. Tooru sent me to take a bath and I was looking forward to cuddling when I got out, but once I did, he had left to study at the cafe. You texted and told me you were stopping by the library to pick up a book and that it would be a while before you returned home.”

Oikawa felt guilt overtake him as he listened to Iwaizumi recount everything that had happened yesterday afternoon.

“The food came and I ate alone on the couch, and then I went to sleep there. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I moved to the bed and then when I woke up in the morning, I was alone again. I’ve been-” Iwaizumi shook his head again, “I’ve been alone ever since.”

“Hajime, come sit down, please,” Oikawa requested. He made room so Iwaizumi could return to where he had been sitting beside Daichi. He sat on the other side of Iwaizumi on the couch while Suga moved to sit in front of them. They surrounded him on all sides and Oikawa could tell how much that meant to him because he looked them all over and smiled just a bit.

“You’re all here.”

Daichi cleared his throat because he felt like he was seconds away from crying. He patted Iwaizumi’s thigh and nodded, “we are, and we won’t be going anywhere until you feel better.”

“We messed up, Iwa,” Suga stated. “We didn’t take care of you like we should’ve. You’re experiencing a subdrop. You’ve been experiencing it ever since yesterday after we left you alone. You don’t have to go into subspace in order to experience subdrop. It has to do with the chemicals in your brain. Your brain released all of these happy chemicals when we were having sex yesterday, and once the sex was over and we left, the happy chemicals stopped which resulted in a sort of crash.”

“It can result in some pretty terrible symptoms. Fatigue, anxiety, sadness, and irritability are a few,” Daichi stated.

“Subdrop can sometimes be mitigated if enough proper aftercare is provided,” Oikawa shook his head, “and we failed to give you that. We’re sorry.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi breathed. He took a moment to take in all of what had been said to him and felt relieved now that he knew what was wrong with him. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Suga stated seriously. He gave Iwaizumi a sad smile, “it’s really not. You do so much for us and we couldn’t do this one thing for you to ensure your safety. You should’ve been our biggest concern after we finished having sex with you, but instead we were too focused on our studies. We let you go the entire day feeling like shit because we were too selfish to realize that we had neglected you.”

Oikawa frowned because Suga was right and he was so angry with himself because he knew about subdrop. He’d made sure to scour the entire internet for any and everything pertaining to bondage, subspace, and subdrop. Leaving Iwaizumi alone was his second mistake because his first had been when he hadn’t taken the time to look into how an alpha would react to coming out of subspace. Oikawa shook his head because why couldn’t he get anything right?

“All day I could feel that one of you didn’t feel the best through our bond,” Daichi stated as he brought a hand up to rub against the bond marks on his neck. “I assumed it was because of finals week since it’s such a stressful time.” He looked at Iwaizumi, “I’m sorry I let you feel so terrible.”

“And I’m sorry I left you to eat dinner alone. I didn’t know Oikawa had left, but I still should’ve returned home with dinner instead of deciding that a book was more important than spending time with you,” Suga explained.

“I’m sorry as well for leaving you, too,” Oikawa apologized. “It would’ve taken me five seconds to pop my head into the bathroom to ask if I could go to the study session, and you could’ve told me that you wanted me to stay. I didn’t even give you a chance to do such thing because I decided to go and leave a stupid sticky note instead. I really should’ve realized that attending the study session wasn’t important to begin with.”

Iwaizumi hummed softly and said, “I forgive you,” because he did. They didn’t leave him alone with malintent. They were simply too preoccupied to notice their mistakes. It did suck to know that their exams had become more important than him in that moment, but as they all sat around him, he knew the exams no longer currently were. The only thing on their minds at the moment was him, and he knew Daichi had meant it when he said they weren’t going anywhere until he felt better.

“What do you want to do?” Daichi asked seriously. “We’ll do whatever you want.”

“Can I eat something?” Iwaizumi asked back. “I don’t think I’ve eaten all day. I can’t quite remember anything besides the crying and anxiety.”

“Sure,” Daichi said and fought the urge to fall back into another round of apologizing. Yes, apologizing was nice, and it was important, but he also had to show that he was going to take care of Iwaizumi with the help of Suga and Oikawa. “What do you want?”

“Do we have the stuff to make agedashi tofu?”

“I don’t know, but if we don’t then I’ll make sure we get some. I’ll knock on every neighbor’s door until I’ve got all of the ingredients,” he declared.

Iwaizumi smiled because he could tell that Daichi was being serious. He wasn’t sure if the younger alpha was aware of it, but Iwaizumi knew he was currently stepping into the role of temporary head alpha. He was the second oldest alpha, so it was his job to take on the role when Iwaizumi was unable to. Iwaizumi found that it felt nice not currently being the one in charge of making sure that everything was in order.

“I’m pretty sure we do,” Oikawa stood up and entered the kitchen. He rummaged through cabinets and drawers until he had all of the ingredients lined up on the counter. “I’ll start cooking now.”

“What else do you want?” Daichi asked.

“Taking a bath with one of you would be nice,” Iwaizumi said, “but it’s alright if-” “Suga, get naked.”

Suga didn’t hesitate to stand up and start taking off his clothes. Daichi stood up as well and pulled Iwaizumi to his feet. He let Daichi remove his shirt from his body and he hummed in approval at just how good of a job he was doing at making things happen. “You’re being a really good head alpha right now, Daichi.”

Daichi’s movements faltered when he realized just how sincere Iwaizumi’s gaze was. He blushed at the compliment and briefly worried about how red his face was getting. He poked Iwaizumi in the stomach and squared his shoulders so he could appear slightly taller. “Thank you, now go with Suga.”

Iwaizumi listened and turned to follow Suga to the bedroom. Daichi watched them go before joining Oikawa in the kitchen so he could help him cook Iwaizumi’s favorite dish. By the time the tofu was done and soup had been made, Iwaizumi and Suga were out of the bath and in bed. Daichi sent Oikawa in to join them while he served up the food to the three of them. With his own bowls in hand, he entered the bedroom and settled down, too. The four ate and talked about everything except exams and Iwaizumi was happy.

“Anything else you want to do?” Daichi asked once the empty bowls had been moved into the sink

“Just cuddle,” Iwaizumi answered truthfully. It’d been the one thing he really wanted to do after getting out of the bath yesterday.

Daichi nodded before crawling behind Iwaizumi. He had no clue what Daichi was doing until he was being pulled into him. Since Daichi had spread his legs, Iwaizumi was now leaning with his back flush against Daichi’s chest. Suga came to lay on his right while Oikawa moved to his left. The blanket was pulled up to his chin and Iwaizumi blinked in slight bewilderment at how fast they had moved to get into the position. It was one they rarely ever got in, but Iwaizumi felt himself relax as he took in the warmth of their bodies and the smell of lavender, citrus, and cedar.

"Oh!" He exclaimed as a sudden thought crossed his mind, "I've thought of something else."

"Okay, what is it?" Oikawa asked curiously.

Suga looked at Iwaizumi expectantly.

"Can we buy premiere tickets for the new Godzilla movie?"

Daichi grinned and gave Iwaizumi a gentle squeeze as he nodded. "Yes, we can." He pressed a kiss against Iwaizumi’s hair and once again asked, “anything else?”

Iwaizumi shook his head and smiled. “No, love, but thank you for asking. I feel much better now,” and he did, he really, really did. He closed his eyes and proceeded to purr in content. Being able to spend at least one afternoon with his boyfriends without feeling like there were more important things to be done was his one and only request. After nearly two weeks, and a more than stressful day, he finally got what he wanted, and he was nothing but happy to have it.