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Are we both broken?

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Logan wakes up to the sound of knocking at the door. He straightens in his bed, his hand searching for his glasses near the bed. He finds them, puts them on and everything comes to focus. He gets up, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses, and opens the door. "Good morning!" Sings Roman, but he stops when he sees Logan "oh shoot, did I wake you?" He asks. Logan yawns "yes so, nothing new" he answers, Roman laughs, embarrassed "yeah...sorry about that, just came to pick up my bro" he says and Logan gestures to him to come inside. Roman walks in and Logan closes the door behind him, going to the kitchen to make himself his morning coffee. "Oh Remus!" Roman calls "I believe he's still sleeping" says Logan and takes a sip from his cup. Roman shakes his head "that sleepyhead" he goes inside Remus's room "rise and shine!" Logan hears Roman say "oh fuck off!" He hears Remus's sleepy response. Logan shakes his head, these last, they both emerge from Remus's room "I know it's her birthday Ro Ro, why do I have to get up early though?!" Remus complains "oh hush, you big baby, we have much to do before the surprise party" says Roman cheerfully "ugh! Fine, good morning dork" he says when he sees Logan "morning Remus, have you slept well?" He asks, taking another sip "I was...until someone…" he looks at Roman who rolls his eyes "oh boohoo, our mother has a birthday. Now I don't know about you, but I want her to have fun" says Roman, Logan can't help but smile, there's just something so sweet about seeing those twins together "big plans I assume?" Asks Logan, Roman raises an eyebrow "I'm offended that you even ask" he teases, Logan snorts "fair enough, just don't burn anything" he looks at Remus "oh come on, teach, it was one time, jeez. How many times can I say sorry?" Logan shakes his head "one time too many" he puts his cup in the sink "what about you, specs? Got any plans for today?" Logan shrugs, Roman winks "maybe go to a bar...look at some cute people…" he nudges Logan in the ribs. Logan stops, remembering last night's events "hey, are you okay?" Roman asks, concerned. Remus seems to understand "didn't you say we have much to do?" He gently nudges Roman towards the exit "oh, right! Goodbye teach, see you later!" And with that, they are gone.

Logan sighs and washes his cup, all it took was one innocent question from Roman...his thoughts drift back to Patton. Is it too early to call him? Should he wait a few more hours? Days? Weeks?! How could he know when Patton is ready to speak to him again...if ever? The quiet does nothing to ease his thoughts, he needs to go somewhere with distractions, with people and noise. He gets dressed, takes his satchel and keys and goes outside.
As he sits in the café' and looks at the menu, he listens to the background music. He never noticed how many songs about love there is, is love the only thing worth writing a song about? Not to mention the customers in the café', almost all of them are couples. Logan shakes his head and focuses on the menu, the waiter approaches his table to organize it "you expecting anyone?" He asks, Logan frowns "" he says. Logan can't read the waiter's expression, amused? Pitying? "Oh okay" he says and walks away. He finally settles on what to order and signals a nearby waitress, she comes and writes his order in her pocket book "it will be right up, are you waiting for someone?" She asks, Logan sighs "no '' he says "okay then" she takes his menu and walks away. Logan shakes his head, seems like going outside isn't enough to distract him. On the contrary, it seems to have the opposite effect. His food arrives, but he doesn't feel very hungry at the moment. He takes out his phone and scrolls through some articles relating to the aroace community, surprisingly, he finds that many members of the community share his experiences, at least he knows he's not alone in this. His phone buzzes, a message from his boss, asking how the presentation is coming along. He informs him that it's already finished and intends to close the app, when his private chat with Patton catches his eye. He clicks it and their last conversation pops on the screen:

Patton: listen...I need to talk to you about something
Logan: Of course, want me to call?
Patton: umm...actually I was hoping to talk about this in person
Logan: I see, do you want to meet at my place?
Patton: sure, I'll see you there

Logan sighs, it's clear to him now how important their meeting yesterday was to Patton. How could he have missed it? Thinking back, it seems obvious, Patton's nervous fidgeting, his hesitation, before confessing his love. He may be aroace, but that doesn’t excuse his treatment towards Patton, though it might be the reason for it. He finishes his food, pays the bill and walks out. As he walks down the street, there seems to be romance chasing him in every corner, adds, couples walking down the street, songs being played by street performers. Logan walks faster, overwhelmed by everything and not knowing how he is supposed to feel. Without realizing where he’s going, he suddenly stops in front of Patton’s apartment building. It’s barely been a day and he already misses Patton, he wants desperately to come inside and see him, but he knows that’ll be selfish of him. Seeing him now will only hurt Patton further and that’s not what he wants. But he needs someone to talk to, he can’t figure it all out by himself, it seems like everything in Logan’s life has been jumbled up ever since Patton walked out, he needs a rock to lean on...something stable and consistent. In the past, it was always Patton...but now...he recalls Roman’s comment about going to a bar. Maybe he can go to his favorite wine store, taste some of their new brands, that’s sure to cheer him up a bit. He turns around and starts heading in the opposite direction, turning his back to Patton’s apartment.

As he reaches the store, excited to taste some interesting wines, he sees the sign on the door and his spirits fall “closed for repairs” he sighs, of course, like he needed more things to foul his mood “oh, magnificent, I drove all the way here...for this” he hears a voice from behind him. He turns around to see who it is, it’s a twenty year old man, wears a black bowler hat, black jeans, yellow shirt and a black jacket on top. “It is disappointing” Logan agrees “and who may you be, darling?” Asks the stranger “I apologize, my head’s not here at the moment. I’m called Logan, pleased to meet you” he extends his hand towards the stranger, he shakes it “Janus, the pleasure is all mine” says Janus smoothly “are you from around here? I come here once a week and I think I’d remember someone like you” Logan continues, Janus shakes his head “no sweetie, just dropping by to see an old friend of mine. I heard him mentioning this store and thought I would give it a try before I leave. As you can see, it did not go well. Pity, I’m starting to run out of wine and the stores in my neighborhood are quite bland if I do say so myself” says Janus “been drinking a lot lately?” Logan asks, Janus eyes him “I don’t believe it’s any of your business” he says. Logan is taken aback a little “apologizes, I didn’t mean to be rode” Janus huffs “well you were, now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on my way” Logan isn’t sure what it is, but something tells him Janus shouldn’t be alone right now, something about his posture, his loose tongue, his slight aggressiveness…”are you...drunk?” Logan blurts. Janus stops in his tracks and turns to face him “what if I am, we just met, why do you care? You don’t know anything about me” Janus says defensibly “true, but you really shouldn’t be driving right now. Why don’t I buy you coffee and stay with you until you sober up?” Logan asks. Janus huffs again “do you always offer coffee to drunk strangers?” He asks “not really, but a close friend of mine taught me to be sympathetic...well used to be a close friend...I don’t know what we are now..” he looks down “bad breakup?” Asks Janus, Logan looks up sharply “sort did you know?” Janus rolls his eyes “please honey, been there done that...too many times. Oh, there’s the alcohol for you, should not have said that” Logan is really starting to be concerned for that man “is that why you’ve been drinking a lot lately?” He asks, trying to be as gentle as he can “might be…” says Janus “ wish to talk about it?” Logan offers, trying to think what would Patton do in his place, he’s always helping people whenever he can. Janus sighs “fine, let’s get that coffee, maybe it’ll shut you up a bit” he starts walking “ah...Janus? It’s the other way” Logan corrects him. Janus flushes “of course, I knew that, lead the way” he gestures to Logan to proceed. They walk in silence for a while, until they finally reach a Starbucks branch, they order their coffee and go sit at a table to wait for their order “so...breakups?” Logan tries to start the conversation awkwardly, Janus does a dismissive gesture “I really don’t feel like talking about it...let alone with a stranger” he says “that’s fair, we barely know each other, but it may do you some good to let those feelings out” Logan counters “you first” says Janus, Logan sighs “alright…” he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and tells Janus about his and Patton’s “breakup” if you can even call it that. When he finishes, Janus shakes his head “did you really think he said he loves you as a friend?” he says, incredulous. Logan sighs “yeah...I know, I’m an idiot, no need to rub it in” Janus raises an eyebrow “seriously, it couldn’t have been more obvious” Logan nods slowly “ I know…now it’s your turn-” “order for Janis?” The announcement cuts Logan off “Janis and...Leo?” Logan shakes his head, they can never get the names right. He gets up and goes back with their coffee “as I was saying” he says as he puts down the cups “now it’s your turn, I’ve told you my story” he sits down “you did, but I didn’t promise I’ll tell you mine, did I?” He smirks “that’s not fair, there’s no way yours is more embarrassing than mine” Logan protests, Janus shrugs “life isn’t fair, and, you’re right, I don’t think anything can top yours in terms of embarrassing” he smirks again, Logan blushes “that’s unnecessarily mean...all I did was try to help you..” Janus rolls his eyes “no darling, what you did was pity me and try to help me in order to feel better about yourself after how you treated your best friend” he says, Logan looks down in shame “I was just trying to do the right thing...I don’t know what to do anymore...I’m such a mess” his voice breaks and tears start streaming down his cheeks.
“Oh, don’t do that...don’t cry on me...oh god I’m bad at this. Look I’m sorry for what I said okay? You seem very nice and you made an honest mistake...just stop crying...please?” Janus asks awkwardly “sorry, I’m so sorry” he sniffs, trying to hold back the tears, but they just keep streaming down his face, Janus awkwardly pats his head “there there, little fella” he says “I just...I don’t know who I am know? I’m used to having it all together...but ever since last night...everything is falling apart” Logan wipes away his tears “you probably think I’m crazy” he says, Janus looks at him strangely “no, you’re just going through a phase, it’ll be alright” he says, Logan sniffs “you think so?” “Of course! You’ll see” insists Janus “thank you...sorry for that little break down” says Logan, Janus sighs “believe it or not, but I understand...I’m going through a rough time myself. You don’t get drunk unless you want to forget something…” he avoids Logan’s gaze “it just feels like...there’s something wrong with me...I keep falling in love so quickly with strangers...but the moment I get to know them too’s just it was never there” Logan is surprised by Janus’s sudden vulnerability “is that why you had a lot of breakups?” He asks, Janus nods. Logan takes Janus’s hand “I don’t think there’s something wrong with you...maybe you just work a little differently than most people, it’s nothing to be ashamed of” Janus smiles a little “come on, I wanna show you something”