Sleeping at nights were not something Ritsu’s body was used to, so nights like this where he can’t fall asleep were not rare at all. His sleeping schedule being like this was nothing new for him too.
It was usually something that pisses him off; he was grateful for this time. Izumi was back from Florence again. Weird for Ritsu to admit, he misses him quite a lot when he’s overseas, despite coming to Japan still quite regularly.
After that moon-viewing Ritsu couldn’t find the right words to explain both went to their dorms. Ritsu wasn’t too happy with it as it did everything but helps him to get sleepier. No, It actually did the exact opposite; he was more energetic than before.
If Ritsu from a year ago saw him like this, he probably wouldn’t believe what happened to him, up until recently only person he had was his best friend Mao after all. He was everything to Ritsu. Mao always there for him for his whole life and his existence itself was a comfort for Ritsu. Being with his best friend always have given a sense of comfort too, so he was sure he would end up “marrying” him and be together forever. He didn’t want to lose his best friend after all.
These thoughts continued, but Ritsu changed a lot, at some point he lost some of these thoughts. Mao wasn’t the only person he had anymore. Of course, his love for Mao never changed, but some other stuff...
At first he tried to be denial, If he likes someone it HAD to be Mao. He kept repeating and acting like his thoughts never changed, at some point he made most of his friends think he is in love with Mao too. Well, Mao himself was always an oblivious person, so he never really thought of something like that...
It didn’t work. No matter what he did he couldn’t stop thinking about his dear friend. Izumi. His feelings, when he was with Mao wasn’t like this at all, this all is really confusing to him. Whenever he was near Izumi his calmness goes away, every part of hin feels more alive, but not in a way. Ritsu loves this feeling. It makes him feel warm, makes him feel like he’s home, sometimes realizes he’s face is getting hotter and hotter. Still, He does his best to not show how frustrated and embarrassed he gets when his dear friend is around, but still he sometimes gets called something like “You’re not acting like your usual self!”
Would he ever confess these embarrassing feelings? What would he even say? He closes his eyes. Picture his dear friend, under the moonlight. His gray hair was shining and looked prettier than ever, his skin was already flawless but looked even softer this night, his blue eyes were the loveliest thing for Ritsu.
“Are you humming that song again?” a tired-sounding voice pushes Ritsu back to reality. His roommate looked him with confusion with his extraordinary eyes.
“Ah, Did I wake you up, Mikarin? Sorry.” Ritsu says, he didn’t even notice he was humming. Again.
“It’s fine, I wasn’t able to sleep well anyways!” Mika answers “But what happened, Did you confess~?”
No response. His roommate Mika was the only one who knew about Ritsu’s real crush. Ritsu tried to come out to Mao and Arashi several times but something stopped or interfered everytime, and he wasn’t sure if he actually should talk to Arashi about it since it could effect unit activities. He didn’t mean to tell Mika this at first but in the end he wanted someone to know, when Mika heard him play that song he wrote for Izumi, Ritsu ended up spilling everything.
“You know, the song you wrote was really pretty! You should show him that!” Mika continues, “If it was me, I’d accept to confession right away!”
“I’ll think about it then, good night Mikarin.”
“Good night then!”
“Kuma-kun? Why did you invite me exactly?” Gray-haired boy says in an annoyed tone.“If you have any idea for our next song, you could’ve just told us in the meeting, you know I’m a busy person!”
“You say this but you still came, Secchan~”
“Whatever, what did you invite me for again?”
“I just wanted to show you a song I wrote...” Ritsu pauses "For you."