Well, in all honesty, this was supposed to be a fun night. Just a couple of friends – some of which who were boyfriends – having fun at a bar; singing, drinking, flirting with people, just doing anything in a bar that you can imagine. Just having the time of their lives, well, not all of them did that exactly.
Wally should’ve known it was a bad idea when Dick called him and said, ‘‘Hey Walls! Roy and Jason invited me over their night out, apparently, Jason kinda wanted me and Roy to be ‘great’ friends again. Because he didn’t like it when there were dirty jokes used every time we hung out together. And I was kinda hoping you would come with me too?’’
He could hear Dick grimacing and cringing while asking this, it was really hard for Dick to be near Roy. They haven’t been talking since the ‘Kori and Mirage thing’, Roy still hasn’t forgotten about that.
Dick hasn’t too, as a matter of fact. Wally can clearly recall Dick calling him in the middle of the night and crying to him about how he wasn’t worthy of Jason. He tried the comfort the younger every single time, even went as far as going to Blüdhaven, just so Dick wouldn’t do something stupid… again.
It was heartbreaking to see his young brother breaking, shattering into more pieces every time he and Jason had a fight about Bruce or Roy or Dick’s loyalty or just a fucking cereal box… It was hurting Dick to not being able to say what he thought, actually, the thing that was hurting him was Jason not listening to anything he said.
So, what was he going to do when his secretly insecure and really terrified friend asked him to come and help with seeing his boyfriend’s best friend who was like his big brother a while ago but he’s not right now because he thinks what he did was wrong even though he was the victim of that scenario and torments him with his dirty jokes about it every time he sees him? He was going to say ‘Yes,’ so he did.
He heard Dick sighing in relief and thanking him so many times before he ended the call. He needed to talk to Artemis, tell her everything. He needed to go there for Dick, for the sake of Dick’s mental stability.
As soon as he ended the call and flopped down on the couch, Dick felt some pressure getting off of his chest, leaving him with the feeling of anxiety on the frontlines. He had to tell Jason he invited Wally too, but what was he going to tell him? Sure, Jason would understand the reason… right?
His thoughts were cut off by the sound of his lover’s boots, the heavy sound was mixed with the sound of the chains clicking and hitting the hard leather. His pace was slower than usual; not heated enough, not skippy enough, not happy or angry or sad enough… just too calm.
He waited for Jason to come and sit with him on the couch like he always did, actually, he waited for him to come and lift his head, sit and play with his hair like he always did.
But he didn’t, instead, he just sat on the floor as far as he can be from Dick. Something definitely was wrong Dick knew this, but he didn’t know what he exactly did.
‘‘Hey Honey, how was your day? How are you?’’ was chosen to be Dick’s conversation starter, it always was the same (except the pet names, of course). Dick always seem to be wanting to know about his day and how he was, ironic. Since when Dick started about his girlfriends and boyfriends.
He sighed and threw Dick a glare, they all were good at glaring thanks to Bruce, at least he learned something useful from that man. He decided to answer Dick’s question, ‘‘Oh, well, I learned something from Roy today. And let me tell you, it made me really angry.’’ The way Dick’s lip formed into a thin line and sat up when he said Roy’s – his best friend’s – name, made him madder.
Dick’s answer was cautious, quiet like he felt little especially at that moment, ‘‘What did he tell you, Jaybird?’’ Nickname – ah, that fucking nickname, didn’t he know that the nickname wasn’t going to change anything. It was going to be the same; Jason was going to yell, Dick was just going to sit there and take it and basically beg him to stay when he decided to leave for the night. They both were used it by now, people get used to things when it happens more than twice a week.
He let out a cold, bitter laugh, ‘‘What did he tell me? I don’t know Dick, maybe he told me one of the things that you desperately wanna hide!’’ he was now full-on yelling, pacing around the room while Dick looked down at his lap, at his hands which were fumbling.
‘‘What did he tell you, Love?’’ his words hushed and wavery like he was just about to split apart, like he was crushing under Jason’s destructive words. It was for a second, but Jason noticed his voice break when he said ‘Love’, he felt the guilt rising, making his head pound. But he knew for a fact that he wasn’t in his right mind, it was the pit talking and he couldn’t stop it.
‘‘He- he told me that you fucking- you, you,’’ how did he – no, how could he do this to a woman that he was in love with since he was a kid? Did this mean he would do this to a person he once saw as an annoying little brother? If she wasn’t ‘enough’, Jason wasn’t close to being ‘enough’, oh – he was so, so, so far away from being ‘enough.’
‘‘What did I do, Jayb-’’ Dick started after a minute of silence, after a minute of fighting his inner demons just to get cut off by Jason’s scream, ‘‘You don’t fucking know, huh? Maybe it was because you fucking didn’t care about her, just like you don’t care about me! What is your problem?’’
Dick finally looked up; eyes filled with unshed tears that were about to spill anytime, hands shaking violently like a leaf in a really strong wind, his pale face decorated with the dark shade of black eye bags. ‘‘I don’t get i- it, J- Jay. W- what did I d- do to make y- you this a- angry? T- tell me, so I- I can make i- it r- right. P- please.’’
Was Dick begging? He was begging Jason; Dick was begging Jason. Oh man, Jason never thought he’d see this day. ‘‘Well, since you pleaded so much, I will tell you, you worthless piece of shit.’’ Dick was scared, Jason’s voice was so calm… unlike the other times he was angry at him. It was scary, Jason’s voice was only like that when he was talking to some criminals or child rapists or Joker or someone else like that.
Suddenly Jason gripped Dick’s wrist, yanking his arm in his iron grip. Dick yelped in pain, ‘‘Ja- Jay, you’re hur-’’ he was again cut off by Jason, ‘‘NO! I’m talking and you’re going to listen to me. Ah, yes, you were asking what Roy told me, weren’t you?’’ Dick only hmm-ed. ‘‘Did you even hear me? ANSWER ME!’’ Dick flinched, trying to get away from Jason. Causing Jason to tighten his grip on his wrist, he tried not to screech in pain, gulping ‘‘Y- yes,’’ he replied.
‘‘Okay then,’’ Jason said, pinning Dick to the wall in a very, very violent way. Jason has always been bigger and heavier than him since he came back, he wasn’t complaining about it but right now he felt Jason’s weight crushing down on him. Jason was pressing with all he got, like – like he was some type of a criminal. Dick grunted in pain, trying to escape his lover’s restraint.