Actions

Work Header

Hey, Siri.

Work Text:

Villanelle:

I need your help Eve!

EVE!

EEEEEEEEEVE!

Eve:

What’s wrong? Are you ok?  Are you hurt?

Villanelle:

How many ounces are in a quart?

Eve:

Seriously?

Villanelle:

Seriously. How many?

Eve:

Ask Siri

Villanelle:

But I don’t like Siri so I’m asking you, who I do like. Very much. 

Eve:

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Villanelle:

What?

Eve:

(Audio message) Eve: Hey Siri. How many ounces are in a quart. Siri: There are 32 ounces in a quart. 

What are you baking this time?

Villanelle:

I need to do some calculations for a job I have coming up. 

Eve:

Ohhhhhhhhhh

Villanelle:

Don’t worry Eve. I will be fine. 

Eve:

Except for that day when you aren’t. 

Villanelle:

You don’t need to worry about me Eve. I know what I am doing.  

Eve:

I’m sure you do. It doesn’t make me worry any less. 

Villanelle:

I love you too Eve. 

Eve:

Message me when you’re done so I know you haven’t blown yourself up or gassed yourself or any of the million other possibilities. 

Villanelle:

Ok

 

Eve looks at her watch. Two hours twenty three minutes have passed. She’s chewed her nails down to the quick and has started pacing around her tiny apartment

 

Villanelle:

TADAHHHHHHHHHH! 
(.)(.)

Eve:

Jackass.