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The Hated Childe Becomes a Princess

Chapter 4

Summary:

Childe and Bertha go to school for the first time. Kindergarten can't be so bad, right?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

5 years have passed since Childe’s and Bertha’s dad left. Childe was very upset. To this day he awaits his never to be seen goat milk. Poor Childe......if only he knew…

Today was Childe’s first day of Kindergarten, and he and Bertha just arrived at school together.

“You better not make me look like a loser at school!” Bertha threatened the blue eyed kid.

“Yes sister.”

“Good. Now go be dumb or something while I go on a date with Micheal!” Bertha said before running off. Her extremely messy brown hair chasing behind her.

Childe sighed before entering the door. Maybe this was the path of becoming a pretty princess.

A few minutes later, Childe, Bertha, and a ton of other fetuses were all sitting behind circular tables. Each table had 4 or 5 chairs. Three tables were spread around the room, two tables on either side and one in the middle. There was just enough space left for the huge ABC’s carpet.

Childe was amazed, but extremely extremely extremely scared. There were more than twenty child fetuses breathing the same air as him in the same confined space as him, this was not ok for his emo phase.

Childe was assigned to sit at the table in the far left corner where nobody could see him. Meanwhile Bertha was at the middle table. She was in the center of the class, and her whole table, including the fetuses from other tables, were giving her attention.

Childe stared at the other kids sitting at his table. There were only 2 of them, which was weird since there were 4 seats. Maybe someone was absent? What a pussy.

“Hi,” Childe said.

“Hey loser,” a purple haired kid who sat across from him said. He was wearing a really big and ugly hat. What kind of 5 year old wears that kind of thing? No taste.

Childe read the kids name tag. Scootermouse? What was this kids parents thinking when naming their child?

“Your name’s ugly,” Childe replied. He showed no shame.

The girl sitting next to Childe cackled.

“I’ll call you a bad word!” Scootermouse yelled at Childe.

"Which one?"

“The b word.”

“You have no taste in bad words, Scaramouche. The b word is for normies like you,” The girl next to Childe said.

“I thought his name was Scootermouse,” Childe replied before reading the girl's name tag. Signora. Ooo that’s spanish. Or Italian.

“How did you read that?” Signora asked.

“His name tag was upside down, I couldn’t read it.”

“Understandable.”

The two then looked at Scaramouche, who looked like he was about to murder someone. The purple haired fetus took out a pair of hot pink scissors and held them out.

“The next time you say my wrong, I’m going to kill you!” He yelled. How has the teacher not noticed such a dangerous act of violence?

Childe stared at the scissors. “Scootermouse.”

Signora stared at Childe. She was not impressed by this ginger haired fetus’ choices.

Scaramouche was a man of his word. Being the short stack he was, he stood up, bent over, and stabbed Childe’s arm as aggressively as he could.

Childe didn’t even flinch. Signora stared at him again, she was still not impressed,

“That’s nothing compared to how Bertha threw me out the window last night.”

“Bertha? As in the ugly girl in the middle that everyone loves?” Scaramouche asked, dropping his scissors on his shoe.

“Yeah, that Bertha. She’s sadly my sister.”

“You too look nothing alike,” Signora said as she took out a bag of cheetos from her book bag.

“Woah what the bad word are those orange things?” Childe fearfully looked at her cheetos.

“Have you never seen a bag of chips before? What kind of poopy household are you from?”

“A very bad one.”

“That makes sense.”

“Can I have a chip?” Childe asked.

“No.”

“But sharing is caring!”

“No.”

“Don’t even try ginger kid, Signora’s a huge b word,” Scaramouche said as he took out a bag of fritos. Fucking fritos.

“Ew.”

“Shut the bad word up.”

“Ew.”

“I’ll run you over with my dad’s lamborjini if you don’t shut the bad word up.”

“You have a dad?” Childe asked.

“You don’t?”

“He went to get goat milk. And he burned a paper he had with my mom.”

“Wow my dad did the same thing,” Signora said as she finished her bag of cheetos. This teacher needed glasses.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but without the paper. 5 years ago, when I still lived in Snezhnaya, I was only 18 hours and-”

“What’s Snezhnaya?” The ginger asked.

“It’s a really cold place.”

“Wow.”

“There’s a king and a queen there. There used to be a prince but he got kidnapped by some liyeuan one day. Nobody knows where he is now. Probably somewhere at Target.”

“Wow.”

“Every nation has royalty, Signora, you’re not special,” Scaramouche grumbled.

“I’m special, I got snow everyday.”

“What’s snow?” Childe asked.

“Have you never been outside before?”

“A few times.”

“You should sneak out one day. It’s fun,” Signora advised.

“Thanks, I’ll try that out.”

Scaramouche loudly ate his fritos as he third wheeled.

“Anyways, wanna bully Bertha during freetime and lunch? She’s ugly,” Signora asked.

“Sure- wait no- poop. I can’t. If I do, she’ll tell our mom.”

“You’re a poopy head then.”

“No I’m not!” Childe protested. He would not let this Snezhnayan woman call him a poopy head.

“Then go punch her in the face right now.”

“Bet.”

Childe immediately got up from his seat and approached Bertha. There she was, ugly brown hair and everything. There she was, busy laughing and snorting like a pig as she talked about her new 500k silver shoes.

“Bertha…”

“Who are you? You're ugly, get away from me!” Bertha screamed. She tried keeping her cool kid act. Acting like she didn’t know Childe wasn’t gonna work as easily as she thought.

“I’m not sorry,” Childe immediately punched Bertha right in the face. He had been way too rough and accidentally smashed out a few teeth. Her nose bled too.

“What the f word Childe! I’m telling mom what you did! Teacher!!!!!!!!”

Uh oh. Childe was in a pickle.

“Ew you’re related to that guy?” One kid asked.

“He sits at the normie kids table!” Another one said. Scaramouche pulled out his scissors once he heard normie.

In a matter of seconds, the teacher came running over to Bertha’s table. She looked at Bertha's injury first, acting oh so sorry for her. Once she was sure Bertha was fine, she sent her and one of the child fetuses at her table to the nurses office.

Childe was really fucked now.

“Childe,” The teacher began. “How dare you hurt such a beautiful girl like Bertha! I’m making a phone call to your mother right now! And, I’ll give you 3 months worth of detention just for that! You’ll be missing your lunch time from now on. Go sit in the corner until it’s circle time!” The teacher pointed to an empty spot in the corner. There was a sign that said “loser’s corner.” Perfect for Childe.

As the ginger walked to the loser’s corner, he looked at Signora and Scaramouche. Both of them were clapping excessively, as well as cheering for him. On a piece of paper Signora had, it read: “Congrats, you're not a poopy head.” Childe felt better now.

For the rest of the day, Childe sat in the corner. He went to the principal's office during lunch, but for the rest of the day he did nothing but sit still and look like a loser for the entire class to laugh at.

Finally, it was circle time.

As the teacher called everyone to the carpet, Childe finally went to go sit there. He sat on the letter V. He thought V looked nice. Meanwhile Signora and Scaramouche sat on P and Q. A few letters away from Childe, but not by much. Bertha was basic and sat on B. Little did she know that that letter stood for bitch.

“Ok class, today we’ll be discussing our wishes and dreams,” the teacher said.

“Why?” A random kid asked.

“So that in the future when you see everything you ever wanted get crushed before your eyes, you have someone who atleast knew what your failed life goal was.”

“Oh ok!”

“So anyways, what does everyone want to be when they grow up?”

“A doctor!”

“A singer!”

 

“A doctor!”

“A pimp!” Scaramouche shouted over the other child fetuses.

“A doctor!”

“A model!” Bertha screamed.

“A doctor!”

“A train!”

“An airplane!”

“A dog!”

“A doctor!”

“A serial killer,” Signora said like a normal person. A few kids screamed in fear.

“A doctor!”

“A doctor”

“A pretty princess!” Childe happily shouted.

All conversation stopped. Soon enough, the whole class broke into laughter.

“I’m the only kid here who can be a pretty princess! I’m not ugly like you!” Bertha said.

“Yeah! You’re ugly!” Another kid joined in.

“A doctor!”

“You look like a carrot!”

“And you’re ugly!”

“And mom doesn’t love you!” Bertha shouted.

Childe didn’t know what to think anymore. He stared at Scaramouche and Signora, thinking they’ll say something.

“He’s looking at the normie kids again! Ewww!”

 

“Normie! Normie! Normie! Normie! Normie!”

 

“How is this supposed to hurt me?” Childe asked.

“It just does!”

“How?”

“Because it does! Now hurry up and cry so we can laugh at you!”

Childe stood up from the letter V he sat on.

“Look, he's going to cry now!” Someone called out.

Childe threw a chair at the fetuses. All of them began to scream and cry. The blind and deaf as hell teacher got off her phone and looked at Childe.

“How dare you-”

Childe threw a chair at her. She also screamed and cried.

Signora and Scaramouche stared at all the crying fetuses. Childe took this opportunity to make his grand escape. He dashed for the exit and immediately ran outside of his school, hiding somewhere in the parking lot.

Childe’s first day of school wasn’t that bad. He finally got to punch Bertha and commit violent acts. He loved today.

Notes:

Normie
I have no regrets making scaramouches life goal to be a pimp, he can do it