Alone. Artoria was once again alone. Of course she was. Nothing ever seemed to last long for her. Whatever she did, whoever she opened up to, she always ended up alone and hurt.
She’d just gotten a divorce from her now ex- wife Guinevere after finding out that she had an affair with Lancelot, one of their best friends. Artoria knew for a while that Guinevere wasn’t as happy as she used to be when they first got together. What did Artoria do wrong? Was she working to much? Not paying attention to her enough? Did she make her sad and miserable? Why didn’t Guinevere talk to her about it? When did she stop loving her? She had all these questions but no answers. Just pain.
Its been a little over a month since then. Artoria was in her apartment and let everyone know that she just needed to be left alone for a while. Of course she knew everyone would at least try something to make her feel better. So she had a ton of messages, missed called and unread emails. But she didn’t have the energy for any of it.
She was lying in bed when she heard knocking.
“God not this again.”
She had a strange and rather bone chilling sense of deja vu. She turned around and tried to go back to sleep. The knocking stopped and after a few more minutes she dragged herself over to the door and unlocked it. She didn’t see anyone there. There was however a bag with food and a sticky note that read: “I understand why you wouldn’t let me in. But please eat this. Morgan.”
Artoria looked around the hallway again. It wasn’t like her sister to just give up. But she was pretty hungry so she decided to eat some food. It wasn’t particularly good since it was pretty obvious that Morgan made it herself and she wasn’t the best cook.
But for some reason it made her cry. Guinevere used to cook for her sometimes. Lately all she ate was takeout food. So even though the food she was eating now wasn’t very good she still ate it.
Her phone buzzed again for what felt like the millionth time today. The newest message was from her sister. She glanced at it but she didn’t bother to look what it said.
With a sigh she put the dishes in the sink and went back to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be a bit better. That’s what she always told herself. But it never was. The next morning she felt just as broken and alone as the morning before.
Another week went by. Morgan stopped by a couple more times. Like the first time she wouldn’t wait long after Artoria refused to open the door. She would just leave the food and another note.
After a few more days Artoria felt pretty irritated by it. Sure Morgan brought her food but it was beginning to mess with her head. What the hell was her goal. She learned the first time that her sister can have some pretty fucked up ulterior motives.
“And fuck me for not seeing it.” Artoria said as she stepped out of the bathroom.
Mordred was the only good thing that came from that night. Mordred was very unpredictable and wild but Artoria loved her son. When Mordred was first born she didn’t want anything to do with him. It was like he was a reminded of how weak she was. How easily she gave in.
But the more she saw of Mordred the more she wanted to be in his life. And the more she was in his life the more she loved him. Mordred was a teenager now was pretty rebellious. Kinda reminded Artoria of herself when she was that age. She chuckled at the thought but was brought back to her thought with another knock.
She sighed and walked over to the door. She pulled it open and saw a pretty surprised Morgan standing there.
“I... I brought you food.” Morgan lifted up the bag.
Artoria narrowed her eyes at her and took the bag cautiously. She studied her sister for a bit. She looked surprisingly normal. None of her usual flirty attitude.
“What are you playing at?”
“I’m sorry, what?” Morgan looked confused at the question.
“Don’t play dumb with me!” Artoria balled her fist and hit the door frame. A bit too hard maybe. Morgan flinched at that.
It wasn’t like her to lose composure like that. Artoria was always the kind of person who kept her emotions in check. She must be pretty beat down to act like this.
“You should be more careful. The last thing you need is to break your bones. If you want I’ll bring you some bandages next time. Try to take better care of yourself alright.” Morgan’s voice was calm as she spoke. She smiled at Artoria before turning around and walking away.
Artoria wanted to stop her but she didn’t know what she would say to her even if she did stop. As she closed the door she slid against it and sat on the floor. She felt a few tears escape her eyes. It made her laugh, that she was so desperate that even seeing Morgan brought her some happiness. Great. She was losing her damn mind.
Its been a few days since then. Artoria hadn’t changed her routine much. She didn’t punch anymore walls or doors though, she really didn’t want to break her bones. The phone still buzzed every once in a while and the CEO still ignored it. She ate the food Morgan brought her, still not her favorite thing in the world but at least it was more healthy than the take out food she ate recently.
Her sleeping schedule was all over the place. Sometimes she slept a few hours at a time and sometimes she slept trough a whole afternoon. The lack of proper sleep was starting to get to her. But so did the fact that she had bangs in her eyes. Its been a while since she cut her hair and it grew out a bit more than she usually let it.
She was currently in the bathroom. She had scissors in her hand and was trying to determine how much hair she should cut. Cutting her own hair while sleep deprived proved to be a mistake when her hand slipped and she cut the palm of her right hand.
Artoria dropped the scissors in the sink. She winced at the pain and grit her teeth. So much for not getting hurt.
She reached for a cabinet and opened a first aid kit. She was just about to wrap the bandage around her hand when she heart knocking again. With a sigh she clumsily wrapped up her palm and made her way to the door.
As expected it was her sister. And she brought food again.
“Wow you opened the door on the fist knock this time. How have you been late-” Morgan’s voice trailed off as she saw Artoria’s barely wrapped and still bleeding hand.
“The hell did you do?!” Morgan dropped the food and took Artoria’s hand abruptly, checking the injury.
“Don’t touch me!”
Artoria pulled away with a bit too much force and she fell backwards. Luckily she held her injured hand up so she didn’t hurt it more. Morgan stood there not moving for a while. Slowly, like she’s walking towards a scared kitten, she lowered herself to Artoria’s level but kept her distance.
“Sorry. I just... you’re bleeding, I wanted to see how bad it was.”
“It’s fine. Just a little cut.” Artoria stood up and picked up the bag of food, “Thanks. For the food I mean. You can go now.”
Morgan stared at Artoria for a few moments that felt like hours to Artoria. Then she abruptly stood up and walked into her bathroom. Artoria turned around, picked up the food and stared following her.
“Hey! What are you doing? I said you can go.” Artoria stood at the entrance to the bathroom and watched as Morgan looked around for a while. She spotted the scissors then shot Artoria a glare. Artoria took a step back, “What?”
Morgan sighed and washed the scissors, “Sometimes it amazes me. How we drive each other crazy even though we don’t see each other much.” Morgan said as she picked up the scissors and walked past Artoria.
“Stop.” Artoria said harshly and grabbed Morgan’s wrist.
Morgan turned and looked at her wrist, then back at Artoria, “You’re quite bold. Also, you’re getting blood on me.” Artoria let her go but looked away, “I wasn’t planning on staying here you know. I’m gonna text Gawain. I don’t trust you to take care of that cut properly.”
Morgan put the first aid kit on the living room table. She pulled out her phone and tapped quickly, Artoria presumed she was messaging Gawain like she said. After a few minutes she put the phone away.
“Gawain said he’d be here soon. I’m gonna go now, but I’ll bring you some food on the weekend. You’ve been eating it so I assume you like it.” Morgan said as a matter of fancy and looked quite proud of herself.
“It’s better than fast food and instant noodles.” Artoria mumbled and heard Morgan chuckle. It’s been a while since she heard a sound like that from anyone. Much less from her sister, at least not one like that.
“I’ll see you in a few days then.” Morgan walked towards the door. She opened the door but stopped and looked back, “I don’t have an ulterior motive. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. I know I’m the last person who should be doing that and the last person you want visiting you but I’m not expecting anything. I’ll just bring you food a couple more times alright?”
Artoria looked at her. She was trying to figure out if what Morgan was saying was the truth. She wasn’t sure if she should trust her or not, she decided to be very cautious. She just gave her a nod. Morgan smiled at her and walked away, closing the door behind her.
Artoria sat down on the couch and waited until Gawain showed up. It was gonna be a long time before she feels like she can completely trust someone new again.