Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Know When to Give Up
It was finally over.
After days of non-stop running, sleepless nights, watching his friends succumb to it one-by-one, and seeing them slowly lose hope, the Metal Virus was gone.
Sonic smiled a little as he struggled to fly out of the energy gate generated by the Super Warp Portal. His smile faded and was replaced by a grimace as he felt the pull of the portal, sucking him into the explosion of green light. He could feel his entire body struggling to maintain his Super Form, his muscles screaming in protest as he fought against the portal’s pull. Sweat dripped from his face as he put in every ounce of strength he had left to fly.
‘Gotta get out… Gotta get out… I have to get out… But… So… tired…’ Sonic thought, panting as the portal continued to pull him in. Not even going Super could wash away the physical and mental exhaustion that had settled deep into him. But he had to keep going, had to keep fighting, to make it back to his friends…
“Can you see them, Sonic? The faces of all the friends you have failed?”
Zavok’s taunting voice echoed in his head, making Sonic falter. He yelped as the portal’s green gate came nearer. Shaking his head furiously, he renewed his efforts to escape.
Tails, Amy, Knuckles, Cream, Gemerl, Cheese, Chocola, Vanilla, Vector, Espio, Charmy, Rouge, Omega, Shadow, Jet, Wave, Storm, Silver, Tangle, and Whisper…
All of his friends were down there.
…And Zavok was right. He did fail them.
Shadow had told him back in Windmill Village that letting Eggman go had been a mistake. Even if he had been the amnesiac Mr. Tinker, he should have kept an eye on him. Maybe if he had let the Chaotix take him into custody, Dr. Starline wouldn’t have found the Doctor and helped him recover his memories.
And then there was Metal Sonic. As grateful he had been for his mechanical copy’s assistance during the final battle with Zavok, he shouldn’t have let him go. Tails had expressed his concerns but did he listen? Nope. Instead, he decided to give Metal another chance… which, in hindsight, wasn’t the best idea.
He should have known better than to give second chances to those who have proven time and time again that they couldn’t be trusted.
Chaos, he was a complete idiot. He didn’t need Jet gloating over how he needed the “Legendary Wind Master” and his crew’s help in the final crucial moments of the crisis to get the message. This whole mess was his fault…
‘Just when the world was beginning to heal from the war, this happened… and all because I was stupid enough to let Eggman go…’ Sonic thought as he felt his Super Form give out.
As the seven Chaos Emeralds scattered to the winds, Sonic felt tears spring to his eyes.
It was all his fault.
He thought of Tails, of how scared his little brother must have been. Sonic could still remember the absolutely devastated look on his face when he came back with the biometric scanner smashed. Even if his lab had been overrun by the Zombots, the data collected from his scanner could have been kept for future research in case another pandemic occurred.
Amy… She’d been running herself ragged in managing both the Resistance and the Restoration. Chaos knows that the hammer-wielding warrior worked harder than anyone in their final stand. And all he did was make her worry…
Knuckles was right. He always brought trouble to Angel island. The brave echidna Guardian didn’t deserve any more stress. But he went and endangered his friend and his home.
Cream… Chaos, Cream was still so little and had already been through so much. She had to watch Cheese, Chocola, and then her mother turn into shambling metal monsters. The cold greeting that he had received from her at Spiral Hill Village had been worse than the creepy slithering feeling of the Metal Virus working its way through his system.
It wasn’t fair. Cream was just a child and shouldn’t have to throw herself into danger. Charmy, too. The little bee was energetic and should use his energy in playing and driving Vector crazy, not saving people from a deadly DNA-rewriting virus. And both of them had gotten infected, for Chaos’ sake.
Espio had to deal with losing his two best friends – his family – all while helping coordinate a counterattack against Zavok and the Deadly Six. He should have listened to him along with Shadow. If he had let them keep an eye on Eggman while he still had amnesia, none of this would have happened.
And Silver… the brave psychic tried so hard to keep his home in the future from falling into ruin. Sonic knew that he now owed him three times since he couldn’t have gotten rid of the Metal Virus without him. Silver’s future was always in flux, usually ending up in destruction and despair… and maybe it was because of him, too.
Tangle, one of the newest allies of the Restoration, had been a trooper, fighting to her very last before she became fully infected. Sonic realized that she was the very first person he had been able to have physical contact with ever since he got infected. The hug she gave him before he had to leave her home was the first warm touch he’d had in a long while.
And he knew that she and Whisper had gotten closer over the weeks. Whisper’s anguished scream of “TANGLE!” when she realized that her best friend had fallen to the Zombot hordes had been heartbreaking and brought back memories he really wished he could forget.
Rouge, despite her levelheadedness and spy savviness, he knew had been affected by Shadow’s turning. The sly treasure hunter saw his dark counterpart as a little brother and losing him must have hurt her deeply.
And Shadow…
Sonic’s breath hitched as he felt the heat of the portal behind him.
The sheer anger in Shadow’s eyes when they saw each other back in Sunset City was enough to make him wish he hadn’t doubted his judgment. Then came the worst blow that shattered Sonic’s heart.
“It’s what you deserve.”
If it had been a stranger who had said those words, he would have tried to brush them off, tell the guy to join the rest of the evacuees, then resume running to keep his infection at bay. But it hadn’t been a mere stranger who had said those biting words to his face. It had been Shadow. His boyfriend, the one person he had allowed to see his scars and be vulnerable around. Shadow had told him that he deserved to be infected and it hurt so much.
So. Fucking. Much.
And what was even worse… Shadow had been right.
Tears streamed down Sonic’s face as all the fight drained out of his body. The whole world was dissolving in a blur of color. Figures. Days of running to kick his infection into submission have taken their toll on his body and it was only a matter of time before he passed out from exhaustion.
‘My fault. My fault. All my fault… Everyone’s suffered because of me…’ Sonic thought, his tears evaporating as the portal sucked him in.
The Metal Virus pandemic wasn’t the only disaster he had brought to the world. The war with Infinite and the Phantom Ruby had started because he had underestimated the masked jackal. If he had been careful, he wouldn’t have been captured and forced to endure six months of hell in space while his friends fought in a war that Eggman nearly won.
And before the war, there was the crisis on the Lost Hex. And before the Lost Hex, there was that one time the Doctor literally shattered the entire world and unleashed Dark Gaia.
And before that, there were other catastrophes. Catastrophes that could have been prevented if he just had the guts Shadow had and killed Dr. Eggman when he had the chance.
But nooo. He had to put faith in the idea that there was a little bit of good in every individual and show mercy to his arch-nemesis.
Which was tragically ironic given how his own childhood experiences had made him initially wary of people outside of his family circle. Until his death, Uncle Chuck had been the only person Sonic ever fully trusted. But now he was gone…
Tails, his little brother, he could trust… but Sonic sometimes wondered if there were times when the two-tailed genius ever hated him and his recklessness, which often led them into trouble. Chaos knows Tails has seen more action than any eight-year-old when he should be excelling in school, winning awards for his inventions, instead of having to clean up the messes his stupid big brother left after every battle.
If Tails didn’t hate him then, he probably hated him now along with everyone else.
Heck, the whole world probably hates him at this point. They just got through a war and, thanks to his carelessness, they’d been plunged into another catastrophe that had just been fixed.
He was always the one to save the day… but he was also the one who was always at the epicenter of every disaster. Like a harbinger of doom, he rushed off to confront enemies while his friends fought alongside him while countless innocents were injured, killed, separated from their families, and displaced from their homes.
And his friends, while just as capable as him, were always either on the frontlines or caught in the crossfire.
All because of him.
Letting out a sob, Sonic closed his eyes.
He had always found another reason to keep going. Everyone counted on him to save the day. But, after everything that’s happened, he'd come to accept it was always his fault and there was no more denying the truth he’d refused to accept for so long.
“The world’s better off without me…” Sonic whispered as he let himself fall into the void.