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Ornithology for dummies and crazy fans

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Shen Yuan was about to tear his hair out of anger – not that he didn't do it on a regular basis, but he couldn't tear his hair out at the same time as he was writing an angry review on an urgent basis. He still didn't have four arms like the naga from «Path of the immortal winged demon».

 

And damn it, Shen Yuan loved this novel at first!

 

It was the first novel he could remember that had so many different creatures and monsters in it! Everyone – everyone! – the character participating here wasn't just an immortal cultivating human or a vicious demon, but also any spirit, mythical creature, or supernatural entity! And it was a Paradise for Yuan, who each time, instead of worrying about the girl of the main character , like a man possessed, made up the bestiary of the next passing harem isekai. And in the Rise of the immortal winged demon, at the end of the chapters, there were also various interesting facts, as if written out of an encyclopedia on monsters – like that sirens just need to live next to flowing water, and dragons are monogamous by nature.

 

 

This damned novel started off just fine – even the main character of PIWD was a harpy. A harpy! At a time when everyone around us preferred to introduce harpies as cheeky girls in the harem of the next lucky guy, Airplane Piercing the Sky wrote two simply charming boys – the main character Bing-Mei and his twin brother Bingge.

 

 

The fanarts with these two were so cute! Shen Yuan, like a real fan, ordered several figurines from the author and almost squeaked in ecstasy when he found a small stuffed bird in the colors of the youngest of the twins. And imagining a harpy boy holding a cup with the folds of his wings -  didn't forget to point out that they have small claws there that help them do without hands - Shen Yuan (absolutely not xenophile) he stared dreamily at the wall for at least half an hour.

 

The plot was also good – at first, Yuan cried his eyes out at the backstories of two adorable baby birds huddled up to their adopted laundress mother and tried to warm her with their feathers. Bingge, as a pretender to the role of an older brother, later grew wary and wild, like a mother hen protecting his sweet, affectionate brother. The Peerless Cucumber then enjoyed another sad story of one of the Immortals, Shen Jiu, a proud kitsune who was raised as a slave and humiliated in every possible way, secretly envying the powerful creature. After the scene of the burning of the Shen Yuan estate with this the same man stared off into the distance, as if shoulder to shoulder with him.

 

 

However, this did not prevent him from later on the forum fiercely arguing with Shen Jiu's fans that no matter how bad the cultivator was before, he still had no right to treat the unfortunate birds like this. The descriptions of little Bing-Mei being tied up by his weak wings before being flogged made the impressionable monster lover's heart bleed. And all this in front of my big brother! An amazing art of cultivating a personal enemy, no doubt – from the structure of feathers, Shen Jiu should have been noticed long ago that these are not helpless magpies, but at least Golden eagles, with which go hunting on the wolves. No wonder Bingge ended up pouncing on his Shizun after the Endless Abyss arc, and almost won – Shen Jiu was only saved by a deflection of the harpy's qi, after which he was unable to fly up and crashed to his death.

 

But then it turned into a fucking harem!

 

Suddenly, with the arrival of beautiful sisters - werewolf cats, demonic dragons, magical phoenixes from mount Xian Shu - there were new readers interested in colorful descriptions and fanarts. And it just so happens that suddenly there are a hell of a lot of them, more than the original readers. And they all wanted the same thing – a papapa with pretty monster sisters.

 

Kinky.

 

As a result, the Airplane went along with them and rolled out the events after the Abyss with a creepy pornographic roller. Fanciful excerpts from the bestiary disappeared, they were replaced by "piquant" details that no one needed, and the author suddenly made a stallion out of the charming and lovely Bing-mei, clumsily justifying this by saying that the spirit of the deceased brother now merged with his twin and wants revenge.

 

Later, it suddenly turned out that papapa and the harpy were not very convenient, and the damn author "found" a bracelet that turns wings into hands – that day Shen Yuan was completely disappointed in humanity.

 

He justified all the ridiculous harem moves by saying that male harpies are incredibly rare and surprisingly attractive-although earlier he wrote that the same harpies do not really care about their sexual life. The flights, songs and other sweet endearments that were described in the first chapters have also sunk into oblivion. Even with the beautiful Phoenix Liu Mingyang, Lo Bing-mei – or as he was eventually called "Binghe" - did not dance the famous mating dance in the sky that the original readers were waiting for.

 

All in all, the novel was a perfect mess – Shen Yuan finished reading it, swallowing angry tears, left a Chapter-sized review, and angrily stuffed a spoonful of expired yogurt into his mouth.

 

 

***

Harpies are known for their love of pack life. A lonely harpy is threatened with a short existence and an early death from loneliness and the inability to care for its own feathers.

 

***

 

 

Moving to novel wasn't the peak of a poor tired millennial's desires. And they also decided to make fun of him – and Shen Yuan now had to not only cope with his sudden appendages in the form of at least five tails , but also convulsively try not to die in agony from the enraged protagonist. In the original novel, Shen Qingjiu's fate could only be described as "worse than death" - Luo Binghe left the kitsune without tails, robbing it of its power, and allowed his dearly beloved falcons to peck and tear at the flesh of his mentor. What a twisted version of the Prometheus myth.

 

 

In addition, far-reaching plans to win the main character's favor are still being dashed to smithereens for two reasons. Because of the stupid system that gave him tasks and manipulated him as she wanted with points – and because of Bingge.

 

The eldest of the twins wouldn't let the mentor even look at the main character, keeping a sharp look around and sending him somewhere else whenever Shen Qingqiu approached. If he calls Bing-mei separately – to give him medicine or assign him some simple task – Bingge looms somewhere on the horizon, inspects the medicine, carefully looks at his brother and again hides him from prying eyes. Much to Shen Yuan's annoyance.

 

Those wings were very close! They looked so fluffy, so soft, so inviting to be petted and scratched. After unlocking the OOC function, Shen Qingqiu had already scratched Ning Yingying behind her cat ears, stroked the werewolf hound Ming Fan, who was flushed and happy to the point of losing his qi, and squeezed and stroked all the other students, dying in his heart at how different they were all. Except that the twins didn't give up – or rather, Bing-Mei looked cautiously and curiously, but Bingge continued his silent confrontation, pretending to be an obedient and quiet student, who can't possibly exchange Shizun's gratitude for this unworthy disciple.

 

It seems that Shen Yuan now has a new mission to earn the elder harpy's trust. The reward is the opportunity to continue living in this amazing world. After all, if Bingge dies in this reality, Binghe will definitely feed the unfortunate Fox to his tame birds.

 

***

 

 

Harpies are half birds, so they have most of the avian characteristics. Their bones are hollow, like those of birds, and their wings require constant cleaning of old feathers. If this is not done, then they stop growing and the harpy risks losing the ability to fly.

 

 

***

 

 

Life took its time – Shen Yuan was already getting comfortable with his tails and was looking for a way to get close to the twins without getting another sidelong glance from Bingge. Bing-Mei was almost used to the fact that the recovered teacher was much gentler and more supportive than he was before, and it seemed that he was even considering the option of getting closer and avoiding Ming Fan, who was always on guard. But only his older brother stopped them all the time, continuing to ruffle his feathers and look at shizun as if he had eaten a herd of babies in front of Him. Now that Shen Jiqiu had forbidden them to be bullied, the twins gained they lost weight and stretched out – especially Bingge, who somehow outstripped his brother by half a head, and his wingspan was three times that of Bing-mei’s.

 

That was where the oddities started. Where Bingge's wings had already lost their childlike fluff and the feathers were dark and smooth, Bing-Mei's wings were a complete mess. Where in the unfolded state, Bingge had to drag his wings along the ground, the wings of his younger brother - the main character, among other things! - barely reached the ground, looking more like fluffy sleeves than full-fledged wings.

 

 

This was also the case in the novel, which was the reason why Bing-mei couldn't fly out of the Abyss at the moment of falling. Bing-mei's wings... didn't work until the harpy awoke his demonic blood and burned his feathers in the Abyss, allowing new feathers to grow anew. The readers had all agreed that it was because of the suppressed demonic blood, but right now, Shen Yuan suspected that this was far from the case.

 

And Yes, he was hiding from his own students under an armful of bamboo. Let's forget about it.

 

"Just like that. Feelling better?" - Bing-mei spat out another torn feather and rubbed his cheek against his older brother's wing.

 

Bingge spread and folded his wing, wiggled his claws, and patted his thigh insistently. Little white lotus smiled – Yuan was sure that he would die right there, and no one would find his body in the bamboo grove – and handed his brother a fluffy misunderstanding called a wing.

 

Bingge leaned over it, frowning, and ... hesitantly combed it with his claws. A few feathers had fallen out, but most of them were still hanging from the rest of the spine. The harpy looked at them, then at his brother, then back at the feathers, and just as hesitantly tugged at a couple of the most unreliable ones.

 

The slacker Fox's jaw almost dropped – Bingge was so indecisive that he couldn't properly comb his own brother's wings! He only removed the most obvious old feathers, and seemed afraid to pull out the extra ones. What a gentle older brother.

 

And clueless.

 

If Shen Qingqiu can find a way to clean and straighten Bing-mei's feathers, first of all, it will reduce the level of self-hatred, and secondly, there is a chance that the protagonist will then be able to grow normal, functional wings before the Conference. And then it will not be possible to push it, which means that you can also deceive the system.

 

Only the System doesn't need to know about this.

 

***

 

We must not forget that kitsune are essentially foxes. And foxes, natural predators, often have conflicts with weaker creatures – and especially with birds. Phoenixes and harpies are often perceived as prey – and respond accordingly, without getting too close to predators.

 

***

 

 

After the attack of the demons – and after the flightless, weak Bing-mei managed to fly with two legs into the insolent face of the Elder - Shen Qingqiu unfolded his insidious plan. Based on the fact that the main character is injured, and he is a teacher, and must protect him, the cunning Fox settled the twins in his house, immediately taking out a book about the structure of the wing and a set of tools for cleaning feathers.

 

The set he had quite honestly snatched from the goods that were ordered for Xian Shu peak. Phoenixes are also birds.

 

So when Bingge returned from his errand on Bai Zhan Peak – a little rumpled, but with the air of a winner - he was greeted by a mountain of feathers, a cheerfully chirping brother, and a Shizun with some kind of torture device in his hands. Bingge first turned pale, then turned purple, glanced at the mountain of feathers, and after changing the color to a soft green for the last time, he fainted.

 

 

 

 

After Bingge came to his senses and didn't attack the kitsune with its bare... wings, Bing-mei showed off his noticeably thinned and lightened wings and ran to the kitchen, where he soon began to come up with heart-rending smells.

 

Bingge stared unblinkingly at Shen Qingqiu for the entire time, as if calculating something. During this time, the mentor has already managed to say goodbye to life ten times, mentally write a will in which he entrusts all his books - except for the R-rated doujinishi - to the senior student, and play his fun funeral.

 

For the sake of the stupid God of this world, Airplane, Bingge, turn away!

 

But Bing-mei's cooking was worth all that effort.

 

And all the feathers Yuan - definitely not xenophilus – used to make his own dakimakura. Suck it, Airplane, it's official merch!

 

 

 

The protagonist's wings were now growing at a normal pace - Ning Yingying noted this as she happily chattered and ran around in circles, poking at the wing like a curious cat. Bing-Mei, who looked more like a puppy than a proud bird, now spent all his free time looking adoringly at Shen Qingqiu, and happily squeaking "Shizun!" as Yuan shamelessly buried his fingers under the feathers and basked in the warmth. In addition, realizing the importance of making his students aware of the characteristics of each of them, the Lord Of the peak of Learning regularly held meetings in which he showed them how to care for and behave with different creatures if they have to face them. For example, Yingying loved the warmth and was cranky when her tail was grabbed, Ming Fan could not stand pungent smells, and another disciple covered in scales had to always make sure that his skin did not dry out.

 

Shen Qingqiu, as kitsune and lazy ass, just liked delicious things, books, and lying down.

 

All in all, only Bingge remained. Even after Bing-mei started to recover, the harpy's distrust of her own teacher didn't diminish. He still stayed away and looked at his brother whenever he could, looking miserably after him as the enthusiastic twin ran to Shizun for a pet.

 

Shen Qingqiu searched through all the books, puzzling over such a strange behavior, and secretly wanting to spend the accumulated points to call a psychologist. When he finally understood and remembered, he wanted to play the game "catch up me with brick" with himself. It is desirable that the stone falls directly on the top of his head.

 

Harpies have very fragile bones – especially  whrn they are young. They are hollow from the inside, like birds – and with enough effort, you can seriously damage the wing.

 

And Shen Qingqiu, in one of the punishments, squeezed the tip of Bingge's wing "so hard that the chick heard the crunch of feathers." It's strange that Bingge tolerates Yuan touching his brother at all.

 

But now... you can work with it.

 

 

 

"Today, this teacher will show you what to do if you come across a harpy who needs help. Luo Bingge, help me with my lesson today. "

 

Bingge squints and walks as if to the slaughter – his wings trembling slightly. Bing-mei looks at him carefully and seems to want to replace his brother so that he won't feel so bad and uncomfortable, but Shen Yuan smiles at him just in time with his eyes over the top of the fan, and the little harpy calms down.

 

"Harpies are birds. And you need to be careful, " - Shen Yuan gently places Bingge in front of him and strokes him with the tips of his tails, - " Their wings look small when they are folded, but a healthy harpy can span twice or even three times their height. So first try to persuade them to deploy the wing completely to check for damage. "

 

Bingge's wing is tight and unruly – Shen Qingqiu gently massages his shoulder so that boy can relax and straighten it completely. Gaining trust is not easy, but the Yuan is doing its best. Not even for his own sake, but for the sake of the sun boys, who haven't fallen down yet, knocked off the wing. He likes, really likes living here, surrounded by all sorts of beautiful creatures and amazing things – and touching the wings has always been amazing.

 

When the wing is extended to the end, a wide sweep is immediately visible – the tip of the feather touches the wall. Ning Yingying gasps and fiddles with Bing-mei, babbling excitedly – she's a cat, she really likes birds. Shen Qingqiu hums approvingly, showing how to find weak feathers and how to grease them afterwards - and suddenly realizes that the main character's prickly, distrustful, vicious, and savage twin has fallen asleep on his chest.

 

This is an absolute victory - Shen Qingqiu smiles proudly to himself and watch as in the crowd of students Bing-mei carefully spreads his wings and fluffs himself -Ming Fan hesitantly dips his fingers into a thick, soft fluffy cloud and a timid smile of bliss trembles on his lips. Even though he looks serious, the tail gives him away completely.

 

May  Abyss can get lost? Everything is so cool and beautiful.

 

Bingge turns over in his sleep and wraps his wings around his Shizun. And now he can die – Shen Yuan, definitely not a xenophile, inhales the warm bird smell and smiles.