Sitting here, on the couch of their shared apartment, Jimin's legs thrown over Jungkook's lap, one would think they’re a couple.
They've been mistaken for one more times than Jungkook can count. By strangers, by their friends, whether it's because they’re holding hands, running their fingers through each other's hair, or sleeping in each other's beds, they've been caught doing things best friends aren’t supposed to do.
Much to Jungkook's disappointment, they aren’t a couple.
In three years of friendship, Jungkook can’t remember a time when he didn't have feelings for Jimin.
It’s love at first sight.
The first time Jimin spares him a glance, Jungkook’s heart does somersaults in his chest, palms turning clammy when Jimin smiles at him, and ears turning red when he talks to him for the first time. It's a mystery how he manages to become Jimin's best friend when he can barely utter a coherent sentence for two whole weeks after they start hanging out.
Jimin falls for his boyish charms, he says. Whatever that means. Somehow he finds his flustered antics cute.
Jungkook becomes more confident after a few months when he feels comfortable enough to be himself around Jimin.
He doesn’t get flustered anymore unless they’re both drunk and Jimin is being especially flirty; he’s a flirty drunk with everyone though, Jungkook quickly learns not to take it seriously whenever Jimin insinuates they should kiss.
Jimin doesn’t like kissing anyway.
He tells Jungkook that two months in.
He says it’s too intimate; more intimate than getting naked in front of a stranger apparently. Casual hookups are to Jimin what video games are to Jungkook. A stress-reliever. Meaningless but enjoyable.
He doesn’t tell Jungkook about his hookups but Jungkook knows he has them.
It’s obvious in the way he doesn’t come home until the morning smelling like someone else’s cologne, obvious in the way he disappears for an hour during parties and comes back looking both disheveled and sated.
But he doesn’t kiss the men he sleeps with.
"Why?" Jungkook asks one night, feeling brave in the darkness of Jimin's bedroom. Feeling safe with Jimin's chest against his back, arms wrapped around his waist.
Jimin's hold tightens. Despite the sounds of the Busan waves crashing over the shore and the sounds of busy traffic coming out of the open window, the silence between them is suffocating. It’s a tricky question, probably too personal for him to ask after only two months of friendship.
"I'm not sure," Jimin breathes out. His lips brush against Jungkook's nape as he buries his face there, whispering the words into Jungkook's skin like he’s sharing a secret. "Kissing is-- don't you think it's a special thing?" His voice wavers.
"I do," Jungkook admits. "But I can't imagine having sex with someone without kissing them."
Jungkook doesn’t sleep with strangers. He’s after serious relationships but they’re hard to come by in college; harder when all he can think about is Jimin.
He had his first boyfriend in his senior year of high school. They did long distance for a year when they went to college until both of them lost interest and broke up on good terms. Jungkook's sexual experiences are limited, having only had sex with one man so far.
But he doesn’t miss sex as much as he misses being loved by someone.
"The sex I have is meaningless." Jimin's breath is hot against Jungkook's cold skin, sending shivers down his spine. Jungkook's chest feels tight; listening to Jimin talk about his sex life with other men is never a pleasant experience. "But kissing-- it means something to me."
"Okay." Jungkook intertwines his fingers with Jimin's, resting their hands on his stomach. He wants to offer him as much comfort as he can. He wants to be Jimin's safe place.
"Do you think I'm weird?" Jimin murmurs, leaning in so close it’s impossible to tell their bodies apart.
"Weird isn't the word."
"What is it, then?"
Jungkook swallows nervously, squeezing Jimin's hand tighter. "I think you're special."
Not much has changed three years later.
Except Jungkook is ten times more in love with Jimin.
In three years of pining, he has time to think of ways to confess his feelings but all of his imaginary confessions end with rejection.
He thinks about sitting Jimin down after class to tell him he’s in love with him. He thinks about confessing to him during one of their walks along the Han River under the moonlight and with Jimin’s hand in his. He thinks about kissing Jimin at a party and thinks about asking him out on a date to their favorite arcade.
They’re just that.
But looking at Jimin now, Jungkook’s eyes can’t help but fall to his lips, hands stroking his legs, and heart beating a mile a minute. Jimin doesn’t even notice Jungkook’s eyes on him, too focused on the movie they’re watching.
Your Name, Jungkook’s favorite.
Tonight, he wants nothing more than to kiss Jimin; to be the one Jimin makes an exception for.
“Hm?” Jimin turns his gaze to him, a soft smile on his lips.
It’s a stupid idea (bottom of the barrel of stupid ideas) but here Jimin is looking at Jungkook like he hung the moon and stars and all Jungkook can think about is how he'd do anything to have a taste.
Just this once.
Fuck any sense of morality Jungkook has, he’s going to lie to his best friend just to get a kiss.
“I need help with something," he blurts out.
“There’s this—guy that I like.”
Technically it’s not really a lie, Jungkook does have a guy that he likes, he just isn’t going to admit it’s Jimin himself.
“A guy?" Jimin frowns, jaw tensing. "What guy?”
“Just some guy from college.” Jungkook shrugs.
“It doesn’t matter." Jungkook sighs. Jimin doesn’t need the details. It’s not what’s important anyway. "I’m thinking of asking him out soon.” Now that is a lie. Jungkook is nowhere near ready to ask Jimin out but... details.
“Okay…," Jimin says, brushing a hand through his hair as he looks back at the TV.
Jungkook can tell the news makes him less than happy. It looks like jealousy but Jungkook's not certain it's the romantic type of jealousy--more like Jimin doesn’t feel like sharing his best friend with some guy he knows nothing about when he's never had to share Jungkook with anyone ever since they met.
"And you need my help because?” Jimin asks, licking his bottom lip.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone. And I really like this guy. So, I want to make sure I’m ready for him.”
Jungkook isn’t a prude by any means but his cheeks are burning for some reason. Jimin turns to look at him, eyebrows furrowing. The way he stares at Jungkook, gaze so dark it burns Jungkook's skin, makes him squirm.
“Ready for him? So... what?" Jimin chuckles but he doesn’t really sound amused. "You want me to fuck you or something?”
Jungkook is going to die right here. He’s going to choke on his own tongue and pass out on this couch.
“What? No!" he splutters, waving his hands incoherently. He groans, squeezing his eyes shut for just a second. "No, oh my god I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean sex."
Not that Jungkook would mind. He definitely wouldn't--he'd even thought about it more than once but it’s not like that’s ever going to happen.
“Okay..." Jimin looks at Jungkook like he’s losing his mind--and maybe he is. "What did you mean then?”
“I just wanna make sure I’m a good kisser. So, I thought you could help me practice and give me, I don't know, pointers or something." Jungkook shrugs to try and look nonchalant when he feels anything but.
There it is, his offer is on the table.
“You want to practice kissing… with me?" Jimin tilts his head, raising an eyebrow. "I don’t kiss people, Jungkook. I probably have less experience than you do.”
Jungkook didn’t really expect anything other than rejection but it still stings.
“Oh…," he chuckles. It sounds bitter even to his own ears. He looks away, turning his attention to the TV. Mitsuha is looking at herself in the mirror as tears falls down her face and Jungkook can relate. "Yeah, you’re right. Never mind then it’s fine. I’ll just ask Taehyung hyung to help me or something.”
“ Fine. I’ll kiss you.”
Jungkook almost chokes on his tongue. Again. He’s getting whiplash from how hot and cold Jimin is being right now. Jimin looks determined, shoulders squared and eyes fixed on Jungkook's lips. Jungkook feels lightheaded all of a sudden. What does Jimin mean he will kiss him? Like kiss kiss him?
“Wait." Jungkook blinks, mouth agape. "Are you serious?" he asks, heart threatening to beat out of his chest any second now. "You really don’t have to," he hurries to say. Jimin definitely has to or Jungkook will burst out into tears from coming this close to kissing him and not actually doing it. Jungkook shivers at the thought.
“I’m your best friend. I should be the one doing it," Jimin says as he tucks his legs underneath himself, leaning into Jungkook with a serious expression on his face.
“I said I’m doing it, Jungkook." He sighs, looking straight into Jungkook's eyes.
“Now?” is all Jungkook can come up with with the way his throat is constricting, sinking into the couch cushions to put some type of distance between them. Things are going a little too fast.
Jimin is actually going to kiss him.
“Well, we’re here, aren't we?" Jimin gestures between them. "When did you wanna start?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t really think this through. I thought you would say no.”
“Well, I said yes.”
“Yeah…," Jungkook breathes out, resting his head against the back of the couch, looking up at Jimin. His eyes keep falling to Jimin's lips, goosebumps growing on his skin when Jimin's tongue peeks out to wet his lips. They look all the more inviting like this. "Fine, yeah," Jungkook mutters, head spinning with need. He wants Jimin's lips on his more than anything in the world. "We can definitely start now.”
The sound of their breathing is loud as silence falls between them. Eyebrows furrowed, Jimin's eyes are trained on Jungkook's lips, looking as hungry as Jungkook feels. Whether it’s because he hasn't kissed anyone in a while or because he desperately wants Jungkook, Jungkook isn’t sure. But being under this type of attention from Jimin makes something dark twist in the pit of his stomach.
Every second that goes by without one of them making the first move makes anticipation grow.
“So…," Jungkook mutters after a while. He can’t take it anymore. "How should we-"
"I'm just gonna...," Jimin whispers before leaning in.
Their noses brush together, their eyes flutter shut, and then their lips meet in a gentle kiss.
Soft is Jungkook's first impression. Jimin's lips are so soft.
The kiss is very chaste, just a brush of their closed lips, yet Jungkook's heart is beating a mile a minute. Content fills his chest, warming his skin in the most pleasant way when Jimin sighs against his mouth, melting into the kiss just as much as Jungkook is. They stay like this for a few seconds, testing the waters and feeling each other.
Jimin pulls back, resting his forehead against Jungkook's. "Is this okay?" he asks so quiet Jungkook would barely hear it if he wasn't so attuned to Jimin.
"Yeah," Jungkook breathes out, licking his bottom lip as he stares at Jimin's mouth.
"You're doing well."
"It was just a peck, hyung," Jungkook chuckles, nose scrunching up and everything. "I have a little more experience than that."
"Yeah?" Jimin smiles, eyes fluttering open for the first time since they kissed. "Show me, then."
Cupping one side of Jimin's face, Jungkook leans in first this time. Thin lips meet fuller ones in a soft caress, hands resting on each other to ground themselves as sparks fly between their eager hearts. Or at least, Jungkook feels eager, the way he tilts his head to the side and opens his mouth to taste Jimin better, losing sight of why they are even kissing in the first place.
Practicing is a poor excuse to hide how much he wants to taste Jimin.
For someone who hasn't kissed anyone in years, Jimin sure knows how to make Jungkook feel dizzy.
His kisses are gentle but his grip on Jungkook's waist is firm and controlled, fingers digging into the skin through Jungkook's shirt. The contrast between the softness of Jimin's lips and the strength of his body against his sends shivers down his spine. With how warm Jimin feels against him, Jungkook leans all of his weight against him and Jimin has no issue holding him there, pulling him closer even though there isn’t an inch of space left between them.
As Jimin's best friend, Jungkook knows about his preferences and he isn’t the type to give up control in any aspect of his life. Yet here, with Jungkook in his arms, he allows Jungkook to lead the kiss, tilting his head when Jungkook changes the angle, opening his mouth when Jungkook's tongue teases at his bottom lip. He allows Jungkook to tug on his hair when a flick of his tongue feels too good for him to control his hands, he allows him to bite gently on his bottom lip and doesn't try to push Jungkook away when he gets a little too eager, sliding one of his legs over Jimin's lap.
And Jungkook knows he's allowing it only because he has a soft spot for him.
If it was anybody else, Jimin would have a death grip on their hair and he would be licking into their mouths until they were putty in his hands. Jungkook knows. He's seen Jimin do it on nights out before.
Jungkook wants that too. He's desperate for it. But no matter how he looks at it, it’s a road that leads to a very dangerous place. A broken moan escaping from his mouth. A whine in the back of his throat. All of it could break the spell between them and Jungkook isn’t ready to stop kissing Jimin yet.
It’s safer for Jungkook to control the pace. Less dangerous for him to get into a specific headspace that would betray how he truly feels about Jimin.
Even though he’s well on his way to losing his mind.
While Jimin lets him lead, his hands on Jungkook's waist betrays his real intentions. He slides his left hand up Jungkook's side, thumb brushing over his sensitive nipple knowing full well it'd make Jungkook squirm, while his right hand's fingers tease at the hem of his shirt, brushing against his skin, just enough to give him a taste but not enough to satisfy the hunger simmering under his skin.
Jimin is teasing. Whether he does it on purpose or not, it’s torture for Jungkook whose breathing is getting erratic the longer they kiss.
Jungkook is losing his head, drowning in the taste of Jimin's tongue, the burning feeling of his barely-there touch, the feeling of his sturdy body under his hands.
Jungkook doesn’t know how but he’s halfway on Jimin's lap, panting into his mouth like he's never been touched before and to some degree it’s true. Touch has never felt this good. Kissing has never felt this good. Even with his first and only boyfriend, Jungkook didn’t feel this much chemistry during their intimate moments and what he’s doing with Jimin is tamed compared to some of the things he's done but it just feels different. His heart is threatening to beat out of his chest, his mind going haywire when he thinks about how few people Jimin's kissed in his life.
And that. That’s the tipping point for Jungkook.
He needs to make an impression.
He needs to be the best for Jimin.
But first, he needs to breathe.
Jungkook puts a hand to Jimin's chest and pulls away, the wet smack of their lips sounding loud over the sound of the movie still playing.
Jungkook finds hunger in Jimin's eyes, dark pupils fixated on him and a fucked out look on his face. Jimin's lips look so red and wet Jungkook just wants to dive in again but his lungs are still burning from the lack of oxygen.
Jungkook's breath hitches when Jimin flicks his bottom lip with his tongue before he pecks him on the lips like he can’t resist him.
"Am I good?" Jungkook asks, sounding more breathless than he'd like. The double entendre of his question doesn't hit him until Jimin's hand grips his thigh a little too tight for a practice make-out session between friends. His eyes turn darker as he clenches his jaw. He looks at Jungkook like he’s prey.
"Yeah, you are," Jimin whispers, chuckling darkly under his breath.
Licking his lips, his eyes fall to Jungkook's neck and Jungkook is certain that the way he shivers is visible. Nothing could have prepared him for the full-body shudder he experiences when Jimin's lips latch onto his pulse point. Jungkook turns into putty in his hold, nails digging into Jimin's shoulders, hesitating between pushing him away and pulling him in.
Jimin licks a stripe up the length of his neck and Jungkook can’t do anything but sit there. Hoping, praying , that Jimin doesn’t hear the soft whine escaping his lips.
"So good," Jimin kisses the words into his skin like he’s branding him. And Jungkook wants nothing more than to be branded a good boy by the guy he’s head over heels with. The guy who is well on his way to making him hard.
Which is a problem.
Making out with his best friend is one thing. Having sex with him is another.
Jungkook wants to keep kissing Jimin. He wants to show him what he’s missing. But he knows that if they keep going things will go too far. Sex with Jimin, while it sounds like a good idea when Jungkook is horny out of his mind all alone in his bed at night, can easily ruin everything between them.
They should stop.
They really should stop.
But the thought is quickly slipping away as Jimin’s mapping out the expanse of his neck with his mouth. It tickles, the way the touch of his lips is barely there and yet it burns in the most delicious way, igniting the flame in Jungkook's stomach.
"I meant at kissing?" Jungkook breathes out, bunching up Jimin's shirt with his tight grip. "Am I a good kisser?"
"Yeah." Jimin's heavy breathing feels scorching hot against the sensitive skin of his neck. He leaves an open-mouthed kiss under his ear, licking at the skin like he can’t get enough of Jungkook's taste. "You don't need practice."
"Then-" Jungkook chokes on a moan when Jimin's hand slides in between his thighs, cock twitching in anticipation. Jimin is so close. Way too close. "Then we should stop, shouldn't we?" Jungkook has a hard time stringing sentences together. He isn’t entirely sure he’s making sense. He knows he’s supposed to push Jimin away yet he’s holding onto him for dear life.
"Yeah," Jimin agrees but he doesn’t stop. Instead, he trails his kisses up Jungkook's jaw, teeth brushing against it before he nips at the skin there and Jungkook leans into it, sliding one hand to the back of Jimin's neck to pull him closer.
Jungkook is weak. He catches Jimin's lips in a kiss. It turns sensual right away, tongues meeting, teeth clashing and breaths mixing together with fervent heat. Jimin kisses with intention, in complete control, breathing Jungkook in like he’ll die if he doesn’t. He grabs a handful of Jungkook's hair and tilts his head up, licking into his mouth wet and dirty.
Jungkook’s trembling, pain and pleasure mixing in the most devastating way. He swallows Jimin's moans and feeds Jimin his own desperate whines, surrendering to the heat of Jimin's desire.
Until it’s too much.
Until the tips of Jimin's fingers brushing against his hard cock makes him freeze.
His body goes taut, hands flying to Jimin's wrist as he painfully breaks the kiss. "Hyung," he breathes out with urgency. His voice breaks on the word, breath catching in his throat when Jimin follows after him to try and kiss him again. "We really should stop. I want to stop."
It doesn’t take long for Jimin's dazed expression to turn into horror. It’s fascinating to watch, the way his dilated pupils return to normal, the way a sharp inhale breaches past his parted lips, and the way his eyebrows shoot up. Then his hand in between Jungkook's thighs escapes Jungkook's grip and he crawls backward all the way to the opposite side of the couch.
Cold seeps into every pore of Jungkook's body. He has to catch himself with one hand on the couch not to fall face-first on the cushions now that Jimin's body isn't here to hold him up anymore. The couch feels so warm under his fingertips, taunting him.
"I- I'm so sorry, Jungkook-ah," Jimin gasps, shaking his head. His knuckles turn white where he’s gripping the cushions, eyes fixated on Jungkook like if he makes one wrong move Jungkook will flee.
Except all Jungkook wants is for Jimin to come close again.
He reaches out a tentative hand as he says, "Hyung, it's okay." He tries not to take it personally when Jimin flinches away. Jungkook's hand falls back onto the couch but he doesn’t give up. "I'm okay." He offers him a reassuring smile. Heat licks at the pit of his stomach when he licks his lip and Jimin's eyes fall to his mouth.
"I...," Jimin tries to speak but his voice breaks on the word. He clears his throat, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."
"I got carried away." He shakes his head, looking away like he can’t face Jungkook anymore. "I shouldn't have-"
"I wanted it, hyung," Jungkook says. His voice is too loud for the tense atmosphere but he refuses to let Jimin speak. He refuses to hear it was a mistake. He doesn’t want it to be a mistake. "We both got carried away and that's okay. Let's just..." He sighs, pushing his cherry-colored hair back in frustration as he sits facing the TV. "Can we just not talk about it now. Let's just watch the movie."
"Please, hyung," Jungkook pleads, squeezing his eyes shut. He hates the hint of sadness in Jimin's voice, he hates the awkward tension between them. Jimin is seconds away from fleeing and he knows it. It would break Jungkook's heart if he did.
Jungkook needs him to pretend like everything is okay. Like the way they just crossed the line won't ruin their friendship.
And maybe it won't.
But Jimin has one foot on the floor, body taut as he sits as far as he can from Jungkook like all he wants is to run out of the door and it makes Jungkook feel gross.
"Stay," Jungkook whispers brokenly, eyes fixated on the TV.
It’s selfish of Jungkook to want Jimin to stay when he’s clearly uncomfortable but he needs him here.
He refuses to touch Jungkook again for the rest of the movie but he stays.
The heat in Jungkook's belly never dies down, not even when they go to their separate rooms after the movie, not a single word exchanged between them.
As Jungkook wishes and expects, they don’t talk about the kiss after that.
Not for a few days at least which is enough time for Jungkook to collect his thoughts and come to the realization that: Jimin may or may have not wanted to fuck him and Jungkook is okay with that.
It's not like Jungkook doesn’t want to get fucked by Jimin anyway. Kissing the way they did usually leads to sex, it isn’t surprising that things escalated the way they did. It doesn’t mean Jimin has feelings for him, however, which is a sadder realization.
Jungkook is somewhat okay with that as well. He never expected Jimin to like him back and he's lived three whole years with an unrequited crush so it isn’t much of a life-changing realization.
It is safe to say Jimin is sexually attracted to him but Jungkook won’t let himself go there. It would just mess with his own feelings and Jungkook has too much respect for himself to ruin a friendship for cock.
He could totally live without Jimin's cock.
Living without kissing Jimin after he's had a taste, however? Debatable.
They've been pretending as if nothing happened for four days so Jungkook doesn’t expect it when Jimin brings the subject up on a quiet Sunday morning.
Jungkook's eyes aren’t fully open yet, the indent of his pillow visible on his right cheek and hair in disarray atop his head as he’s staring at the coffee maker. He only notices Jimin's presence when he feels warm skin brushing against his arm. Jungkook startles, eyes fixating on the back of Jimin's head as he takes a glass out of their cupboard.
"Morning," Jimin says, a soft smile on his face. He looks adorable in the morning, a softer version of his usually assertive demeanor, plush lips turned into a sleepy pout and eyes swollen with sleep.
Jimin tends to be cuddly in the morning so Jungkook doesn’t flinch when he wraps his arms around his waist and hugs him from the back, nuzzling at Jungkook's nape. Jungkook welcomes his familiar warmth, resting his hands over Jimin's on his stomach. He can’t stop a shiver from traveling down his spine when Jimin's lips meet the soft skin of his nape before he detaches himself, leaning against the counter next to Jungkook.
"Morning, hyung," Jungkook replies, returning his smile.
The room smells heavily of coffee and yet Jungkook's nose picks up on the remnants of cologne wafting off of Jimin.
Jungkook loves that citrus scent.
It smells like home.
He unconsciously leans in, fingers fidgeting on the kitchen counter. Jimin is staring at him and it makes Jungkook nervous. He feels like he’s being scrutinized. He usually doesn't mind being stared at by Jimin but the implications are different with all this unresolved tension between them.
"Did you sleep well?" Jungkook asks to break the silence. He avoids Jimin's gaze, eyes fixated on the coffee maker. Jimin crosses his arms over his chest, tilting his head to the side. He keeps silent, making the situation all the more awkward.
Well, it isn’t as awkward as it is tense. Jungkook feels like he’s on the edge of a precipice. Whether Jimin will push him over the edge or stop him from falling, he doesn’t know.
And while it makes Jungkook nervous, he takes twisted satisfaction in the anticipation. Jimin has him in the palm of his hand and Jungkook loves that.
Jimin can keep pretending like they aren’t on the verge of ripping each other's clothes off, or he can say something that’ll tip their world off its axis.
Either way, Jungkook will face it head on.
He looks straight into Jimin's eyes and shudders when Jimin smirks.
"Did you ask your crush out yet?" Jimin asks, expression turning innocent like he’s asking about the weather. Jungkook can’t help but let out a throaty laugh, both out of shock and genuine amusement.
His question is anything but innocent. Jungkook just can’t figure out why he’s asking or why he looks so cocky. It’s too early for this. Jungkook isn’t even remotely prepared to flirt with his best friend slash unrequited crush.
"Not yet," Jungkook replies, turning his gaze back to the coffee maker. He has enough time to notice the way Jimin raises an eyebrow at that.
"Why not?" Jimin leans in so close their arms touch. Jungkook stands still, holding Jimin's weight like he isn’t affected by the proximity. It’s completely different from the hug they shared a few minutes ago. There’s an intention in the way Jimin erases the space between them.
This is unsafe territory. It’s stupid, senseless, desire-driven proximity and Jungkook feels like his skin is being set on fire.
"Busy," Jungkook mutters as he shrugs, looking like the epitome of nonchalance.
It’s a game between them, now. Jimin is the predator and Jungkook is the prey. Except, Jungkook refuses to be an easy catch and Jimin takes pleasure in the chase.
"You should hurry before someone else snatches him up."
"Not a chance."
"No?" Jimin raises an eyebrow, tongue poking at the inside of his cheek. "You seem so certain he likes you back."
Jungkook turns to face Jimin, cocked hip resting against the counter. He is a few inches taller than Jimin, not much really but he still feels like he’s looking down at him. This silly game between them gives him a boost of confidence. It’s obvious now, the way Jimin's voice has a hint of bitterness when he mentions Jungkook's crush, the way his jaw clenches like he’s ready to take a blow with Jungkook's next words.
He is jealous.
Heat churns in the pit of Jungkook's stomach, pupils dilating as his eyes fall to Jimin's lips for a second. He stares straight into Jimin's eyes, sliding a hand behind him on the counter.
"I haven't wanted many people in my life, Jimin-ssi," he whispers. Tauntingly. "But I always get what I want."
Jimin's face doesn’t betray any emotions but his eyes. Oh, his eyes. If looks could pin someone down and fuck them into the next dimension, Jungkook would be bent over this counter by now.
Jungkook knows he's teetering on the edge of something. That if he was Jimin's things would be a lot different. That his cockiness would either lead him to be punished, pushed down to his knees cock shoved into his mouth to shut him up, or to be worshiped, greedy hands touching every inch of his body with words of praise being kissed into his skin.
Jungkook isn’t sure which one he'd like best. All he knows is that he would die to be the center of Jimin's attention.
"I don't doubt that you do," Jimin says, smirking. "Pretty as you are." He moves to open the fridge and grab a bottle of orange juice. Jungkook shivers at the compliment, whispered so casually like Jungkook's heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his chest. His cheeks are positively burning. He looks away, clearing his throat.
He startles again when Jimin presses his front to his back, lips brushing against the shell of his ear. Jungkook's body goes taut, breath hitching in his throat as he holds onto the edge of the counter for dear life.
"Let me know if you need more practice in the meantime," Jimin whispers. Jungkook swears he feels the tip of his tongue against his ear but the sensation is gone as quickly as it comes and then Jimin is gone, like he was never there in the first place.
Except Jungkook's body is awfully aware of the ghost of Jimin's touch. Warm where Jimin's breath was, cold where Jimin's chest isn’t anymore.
It takes Jungkook's brain a good minute to process Jimin's words.
Jimin wants to kiss him again.
Jungkook isn’t much of a social butterfly.
He likes the safety of a tight-knit group of friends, can only manage a few hours of socializing at a time and rarely puts himself out there.
But, once in a blue moon, he channels his inner Jimin energy and ends up doing something that he wouldn’t usually do. Like replying to Kim Sungho in his Understanding of Media Art class group chat and agreeing to meeting him on campus to give him his notes.
He doesn’t know Kim Sungho.
He’s heard of him, like most students in the art department, but he can count the number of conversations they've had on one hand.
Kim Sungho is kind of a heartthrob, too pretty to live among mere mortals, filthy rich on his father's side and appealing to both men and women. He's kind, too. Too kind to be real, Jungkook often thinks, but no one on this campus has a bad thing to say about the guy.
His perfection is too intimidating for someone as socially inept as Jungkook and the closer he gets to Kim Sungho the more Jungkook regrets replying to him in the damn group chat.
Sungho beams when he spots Jungkook, waving at him excitedly. He died his hair a pastel pink. Quite noticeable on campus but no match to Jungkook's cherry-colored hair. He looks prettier though. The color matches the color of his cheeks and his lips. It should be a crime to be this good-looking.
There's only one man Jungkook can think of that could give him a run for his money.
No one is as pretty as Park Jimin in Jungkook's eyes.
"Hi!" Sungho greets him, eyes glittering under the afternoon sun. Jungkook may have skipped a beat but he'll never admit it. So pretty. "Thank you so much, Jungkook-ah. I owe you one."
"It's nothing." Jungkook chuckles awkwardly. "Here," he says, handing him his notes. "You can give them back to me next class."
"Are you sure? Won't you need them to study?"
"Ah, no, don't worry." It wouldn't be the first time Jungkook doesn't reread his notes before a class. He's more of a cram-as-much-info-as-you-can-the-day-before-a-test kind of a guy.
Nodding, Sungho smiles. An awkward silence settles between them. Jungkook's greatest fear. He has no idea what to say and Sungho looks expectant, fidgeting with Jungkook's notes hugged against his chest.
He's a few heads shorter than Jungkook but his aura is really intimidating. He's not doing anything special but his face is very distracting and Jungkook is bad at conversations as it is.
Jungkook clears his throat. "So-"
They try to speak at the same time, a blush coloring both of their cheeks.
"Go ahead," Sungho says, chuckling.
"Um... Are you feeling better?" Jungkook asks, scratching the back of his head. "Were you sick?"
"Yeah, it was nothing serious, though. I only missed two days of classes so it's not too bad."
"That's good, yeah." Jungkook nods, eyes darting to everything but Sungho's face.
He startles when he meets Jimin's eyes.
He's standing a few feet away, looking at the both of them with amusement. Jungkook had asked him to meet him after class so they could hang out and now he's witnessing Jungkook's failed attempt at socializing. As if the situation couldn't get anymore stressful.
"Hey, so I was wondering if you were free this week?" Sungho says, catching Jungkook's attention. "Would you like to get coffee with me? Or a drink maybe?"
Eyes widening, Jungkook gapes at him.
Is Kim Sungho asking him out on a date? Most eligible bachelor in Busan Kim Sungho? Asking him out on a date?
Jungkook discreetly pinches himself. Hurts. He really isn't dreaming.
"Um," Jungkook so eloquently says, blinking at him. He keeps looking at Jimin, silently praying that he can't hear them from where he's waiting.
Kim Sungho is gorgeous. He really is. In another world Jungkook would have asked him out himself but Kim Sungho isn't Park Jimin therefore Jungkook has no interest. None. Not even a sliver of interest.
Jungkook hates having to reject people but here he is.
"I'm sorry," he says, shaking his head and Sungho's face falls. There's a flash of shock and anger in his eyes but he reigns himself in quickly.
"That's okay. Don't worry about it." He chuckles, attempting to lighten the mood and soften the blow. Jungkook feels slightly terrible. "Just-- thanks again for the notes."
"I-" He doesn't get to finish his sentence before Sungho leaves, exchanging a less than pleasant glance with Jimin who just raises an eyebrow at him.
Covering his face, Jungkook groans, ignoring the way Jimin chuckles when he joins him.
"What was that?" he asks. "He looked mad."
Sighing, Jungkook says, "He asked me out and I said no."
"You said no to him ?" Jimin frowns, mouth agape. "He's hot, are you insane?"
"Yeah, I think I am."
Jungkook stares into space for a good minute, questioning all of the life decisions that led him to have a crush the size of the universe on a best friend that doesn't return his feelings at all which forced him to refuse a date with a beautiful and rich man. His mother would be very disappointed.
Jungkook starts walking without saying a word.
"Where are we going?" Jimin asks, jogging to catch up to him.
"I need ice cream."
"It's January, Jungkook."
"Who cares?" Jungkook frowns. "I want ice cream."
"Alright." Jimin shrugs. "Ice cream it is then."
They take two bus lines in direction of the beach, stop at a convenience store to buy two blueberry icicles and sit on the beach wall overlooking the sea.
The cold air turns their exposed skin as icy as their icicles, but the sun peeking through the clouds offers a reprieve from the freezing winter weather. The smell of salt is so potent they can barely taste blueberry on their tongue but the sound of the waves crashing against the sand is so relaxing it makes their trip worthy.
It's not as serene as beaches should be with the bustling city behind them but it's good enough.
They're huddling together to keep as much warmth between them as they can, although eating ice cream has the complete opposite effect but Jungkook feels happy nonetheless.
"Can you imagine if I studied in Seoul instead of Busan?" Jimin asks after a while, eyes trained on the ocean.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I wouldn't get to experience this," he says, pointing at the beach. "And I wouldn't have met you."
Jimin had gotten accepted in three universities but he'd chosen Busan University because his dance teacher had recommended their dance program to him. Jungkook has always thought it lucky that he stayed when there's probably more opportunities for Performing Arts majors in Seoul. Lucky that they're both lovers of art so they could meet like fate intended them to.
"I feel like we would have met, anyway," Jungkook breathes out. "A few years down the line, in Seoul. In a bar or a restaurant or something. I feel like we were meant to meet at some point in our lives."
Jimin gives him a blinding smile, eyes teary from the wind and lips tinted a blueberry blue. He's beautiful with his pink nose, his chapped lips and his exposed forehead, hair swept back by the wind. Jungkook wishes he could kiss him, taste blueberry and salt on his lips.
"You're right." Jimin nods, bumping their shoulders together. Looking back at the ocean, he takes a deep breath, face serene. "What do you wanna do after you graduate?"
"Mh, not sure. I thought about moving to Seoul and applying to some entertainment companies and production companies. And if that's a bust, well-- I guess I'll stay here and find a way to live from my videos."
Jungkook doesn't like to think about the future. He still has two years to go before he completes his degree and he has no concrete ideas of what he's going to do. He just wants to keep filming stuff. He's never really been career-oriented; finding a job is just a mean to an end. The end being being able to travel all over the world and make memories. He dreams about finding love, too. Settling down eventually, maybe get a dog or two. That's his idea of happiness.
"What about you?" he asks, turning to Jimin.
"I think I'm gonna find a job as a dance teacher around here until you graduate and then we can move to Seoul together. I'm sure I'll find a job there, too."
He says it so casually, like he's not spinning Jungkook's world off its axis, admitting he made plans not only for him but for them. Like the thought of leaving Jungkook behind never even crossed his mind.
"You'll wait for me?" Jungkook asks, voice shaky.
"Of course, I will." Jimin laughs like it's the most normal thing he's ever said. Like building your entire life around your best friend is normal, like he doesn't have dreams of his own. "I can't wait for us to be free. To go wherever we wanna go and do whatever we wanna do."
"Always," Jimin breathes out, smiling at him. "Always together."
With trembling lips, Jungkook swallows the words threatening to spill out of his mouth without his permission, heart soaring in his chest.
Words he might never get to say.
I love you.
I love you so much.
Jungkook likes to do laundry. He likes doing it on Sunday mornings after a long shower and a cup of coffee, humming along to the songs playing on his speakers, dressed in his most comfortable clothes. It's an easy chore enough that he doesn't have to think about much and he gets to enjoy the smell of fresh laundry while doing it which is one of his favorite smells.
What he doesn't like is how messy Jimin is.
They've been living together for a year now and Jimin still forgets to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. Jungkook always has to go fetch them for him and he suspects that's just a way for Jimin to make him come to his room every Sunday mornings so he can ask for cuddles.
"Hyung," Jungkook says as he enters Jimin's room without knocking first. Jimin's on his phone, lying on his bed with nothing but a shirt and boxers on. Jungkook tries not to stare at his exposed legs for too long lest he starts getting ideas. Instead, he picks up a discarded shirt on the floor and throws it at Jimin's face, earning a groan in response. "You know I'm doing laundry. Give me your clothes."
Jimin throws the shirt back on the floor, puts his phone on the nightstand and opens his arms in invitation. "Come here."
Jungkook rolls his eyes at him.
And Jungkook falls for it every time.
"Never too busy for cuddles. Come on."
Jungkook sighs, dropping his arms to his sides. He can pretend he's annoyed all he wants it won't change the fact that Sunday mornings are his favorite time of the week, when he gets to spend an hour in Jimin's arms talking to him in hushed voices and feeling warm all over.
So, Jungkook hops on the bed and lies down next to him, back to his chest so Jimin can wrap his arm around his waist and cling to him like a koala. Jimin's smiling against the back of his neck, nuzzling at a soft spot. He finds Jungkook's hand, intertwines their fingers and Jungkook melts into Jimin's warmth, eyes fluttering shut.
This is what heaven feels like.
In the silence of Jimin's bedroom, Jungkook lets himself imagine what it would be like if they were together. Would Jimin's touch be driven by romantic intent? Would it feel more intense than it already does to feel Jimin's hot breaths against his neck, to feel his heartbeat against his back and the way his hips mold themselves to his ass, a taste of what could be if they crossed the line?
Jungkook dreams about being Jimin's when he's alone. He dreams about holding his hand in public, about kissing him goodbye in the morning before going to class, about touching him in the most intimate way. He dreams about these things so much he's driving himself insane, keeping himself up at night with thoughts of Jimin. All of Jimin.
Jungkook wants it all.
And when Jimin holds him like this, when he brushes his lips against his nape and caresses his hand with his thumb in the most gentle way-- Jungkook thinks about how cruel Jimin is. To treat him like he's special, to treat him like he's more than just a friend. How cruel of him to play with Jungkook's emotions like this.
And then Jungkook starts blaming himself. He blames himself for interpreting friendly gestures as more than that, for thinking about Jimin in ways he shouldn't think of as a friend. He blames himself for blaming Jimin for playing with his heart when Jungkook's responsible for it all. He's responsible for getting his hopes up, for seeing things that aren't there and for wanting someone who doesn't want him in that way.
But then Jimin looks at him a certain way. He touches him a certain way. Says something that a best friend shouldn't say and Jungkook is back to hating how cruel he is.
It's a vicious cycle.
One that Jungkook can't get out of. One that he isn't trying to get out of.
Because nothing is more intoxicating than getting Jimin's attention.
Not being fully Jimin's hurts so good Jungkook doesn't want it to stop until he really becomes his.
"Hyung?" Jungkook breathes out. He untangles their fingers to envelop Jimin's hand in his instead, loving the feeling of how much smaller it is. Jimin lets him, humming in acknowledgement. Stomach twisting uncomfortably, Jungkook clears his throat before he speaks. "We still haven't talked about what happened that day we kissed."
Breath hitching, Jimin tightens his hold around Jungkook's waist. A few seconds go by in which Jungkook holds his breath, immobile against Jimin's fidgeting.
"Are you upset about what I did?" Jimin asks, so quiet Jungkook barely hears him.
Furrowing his brows, Jungkook asks, "What do you mean?"
"You know," Jimin says, tilting his head slightly so his words aren't muffled by Jungkook's neck. "The way I touched you."
A laugh gets stuck in Jungkook's throat, drawing a cough out of his mouth. There's no reason for him to be upset about that when he wanted it just as bad as Jimin was ready to give it.
"I'm not upset," Jungkook says as he shrugs. "I liked it when you touched me like that."
A beat of silence makes Jungkook panic for a millisecond. Perhaps, he's being too honest. Pushing himself up on his elbow, Jimin raises his eyebrows at Jungkook when their eyes meet.
"You did?" he asks like it's shocking news. The way Jungkook pulled Jimin in when they kissed was a telltale sign of how much he wanted it so Jungkook doesn't buy Jimin's obliviousness.
"You weren't born yesterday, hyung." Jungkook rolls his eyes. "You know when a guy you make out with wants more."
"I don't make out with guys."
"Still. You knew."
"So, you did want more?" Jimin tilts his head to the side, furrowing his brows.
Jungkook rolls over onto his back, staring straight into Jimin's eyes. "Why did you kiss me?"
Startling, Jimin looks away as he lets out a soft sigh. He lies on his back, resting his hands on his stomach as he stares at the ceiling. Jungkook's eyes never leave him.
"Because you asked me to," he replies under his breath. The way he fidgets with the hem of his shirt gives him away though.
"That's a bullshit answer. Do you say yes to every guy that ask to kiss you?"
Looking at him like this, Jungkook feels bad for Jimin. He's biting his lip, eyes so intensely fixated on the ceiling it's obvious he's forcing himself not to look at Jungkook. His breathing is uneven the way it always is when he's nervous and so Jungkook takes pity on him.
"You don't need a reason," he says, taking one of Jimin's hands in his. He laces their fingers together and rests their hands on his own stomach as he stares at the ceiling too. "If you want to kiss me, you can."
Jimin looks at him then and this time there's pity in his eyes. "I shouldn't," he breathes out like a confession.
"No." Jungkook licks his lips, ignoring the way his throat constricts. "But you can."
"What if I want to kiss you right now?"
As their eyes meet, Jimin leans in so close their noses touch. Hunger flashes in Jungkook's eyes, stomach twisting with the need to taste Jimin again. Heart racing in his chest, Jungkook lets go of Jimin's hand to touch the side of his face instead.
"You can," he whispers, eyes already fluttering shut.
"I don't know why I want to, though."
"It's not," Jimin's voice breaks but he leans in closer anyway, taking Jungkook's hand to hug it to his chest.
In between uneven breaths Jungkook says, "Kiss me."
And Jimin does.
Their lips meet in the softest touch, so soft Jungkook barely feels it at first. There's a voice in the back of Jungkook's head telling him not to do this but it does nothing to stop his heart from soaring in his chest when Jimin sighs into the kiss, like he's just as eager to feel Jungkook's lips on his.
They kiss like this, intimate and gentle, for a while; just a brush of their lips until air becomes sparse, until Jungkook's neck start aching with the uncomfortable angle. Yet, Jungkook swears he's never been kissed that way, swears kissing has never felt this good. Here, buried in Jimin's warm embrace, with butterflies in his stomach. Jungkook wants to stay right here for as long as humanly possible.
They come up for air for only a few seconds before their lips latch onto each other again like magnets. At some point, Jungkook ends up lying on his back with Jimin's body draped over his, with Jimin's hands caressing his sides with reverence like Jungkook's a precious thing to be worshipped. And he kisses him like it, too.
Lazy kisses stay as such, heat simmering under their skin as they explore each other's mouths in a different way than their first time but not any less intense.
Jungkook feels like he's floating even with Jimin's weight pinning him to the bed, head in the clouds as he welcomes Jimin's tongue into his mouth with unabashed eagerness. A delicious flick of Jimin's tongue and Jungkook shudders under him, soft moans escaping his throat.
They kiss and kiss some more until they're putty in each other's arms. Warm, soft and pliant, hearts beating to the same rhythm until it becomes too much and their lips start to hurt.
A soft whine escapes Jimin's lips when Jungkook pulls away, chasing after his lips for one last kiss before he rests his forehead against his, breathing each other in until their breaths go back to normal.
Their return to reality isn't as sudden as last time.
It happens gradually.
Jungkook opens his eyes first and watches Jimin's serene face, breath hitching in his throat when Jimin follows, staring back at him. Jimin pulls back to smile at him and Jungkook releases a relieved sigh. No freak outs this time. Jimin even kisses the tip of his nose before resting his head on Jungkook's chest, wrapping his arms around his waist to cuddle some more.
Jungkook has never felt more elated in his life.
He wishes he could have this every day.
He wishes he could have this forever.
"That was nice," Jimin whispers, stroking Jungkook's chest with the tip of his fingers.
"Yes," is all Jungkook can come up with but it's enough for both of them.
They don't share another words for the rest of the morning. They don't leave their embrace either. They lay there until hunger makes itself known and they stay stuck to each other's side the rest of the day.
This is much better.
"I'm sorry, what?"
Sighing, Jungkook grabs a bowl of rice to put on his tray. "It's not a big deal."
"You making out with Jimin isn't a big deal?" Taehyung whisper-yells, leaning towards Jungkook so only he can hear him. The cafeteria is busy at this hour and eavesdropping on people's conversations is a hobby for some students at this university. "The Park Jimin? The one who doesn't kiss anybody?"
"Yeah...," Jungkook whispers back, shoving Taehyung back. "Not a big deal."
He's not sure why he felt compelled to tell Taehyung what happened between him and Jimin but it felt like a good idea this morning. Except, Taehyung hasn't stopped talking about it since and Jungkook really doesn't want it to be a big deal.
"It's a huge deal. If people start talking about it on campus-"
"Why would people talk about it?" Jungkook frowns, glaring at Taehyung in warning. Taehyung glares back before they greet the lady serving lunch, waiting until they've grabbed their desserts before continuing their conversation.
"I don't know if you've noticed but Jimin is pretty popular around here," Taehyung says as they sit at their usual table. "Popular because he's a great lay. A great lay that doesn't kiss the people he sleeps with."
"Maybe he's changed his mind."
"People have written songs about wanting to kiss Jimin." Taehyung stops when Jungkook scoffs at him. "No really I'm pretty sure that one music major wrote a song once. There's a literature major who wrote a whole poem about Jimin's lips too and you think he suddenly changed his mind for you ?"
"Thanks," Jungkook deadpans, filling his mouth with rice to distract himself from how much the words sting.
"I didn't mean it like that." Taehyung sighs, grimacing. He points his chopsticks at Jungkook and continues. "You deserve to be kissed by a guy like Jimin but come on, the guy has always been anal about that no kissing rule of his. And you're telling me you guys made out not once but twice now? He has feelings for you."
"No, he doesn't." Jungkook laughs it off but he almost chokes on his rice. The thought may have crossed his mind once or twice (or a hundred times) but he refuses to entertain it because if it turns out he's completely reading the situation wrong it'll hurt more to realize Jimin doesn't, in fact, have feelings for him.
"Then why did he make out with you?"
Jungkook frowns, gesturing vaguely with his chopsticks because how would he know? If there's one thing he's bad at it's figuring out what goes on inside Jimin's head ever.
"I told him I needed practice," he admits, shrugging. It's the only explanation he can come up with.
"I told him I had a crush on this guy and that I needed some practice before asking him out. That's the only reason why he kissed me." It sounds plausible even to his own ears.
"Wait." Taehyung blinks at him, ignoring the student passing by their table and greeting him. "You've completely lost me there. There's another guy?"
"What crush?" Taehyung cuts him off, raising his eyebrows in feigned shock. "Jeon Jungkook... Are you collecting men, now? New year, new me, is that what it is? You've finally decided to be a slut in 2021? Good for you." He shrugs in approval.
"Can you shut up?"
"No," he breathes out dramatically, shaking his head. "No, I can't."
"There's no guy. No crush. I lied to Jimin hyung."
"I don't know, okay! I'm an idiot. I felt like kissing him so I came up with this stupid idea and now here I am."
"Oh, you evil man."
"Shut up," Jungkook groans, burying his face in his hands. He feels terrible as it is for deceiving his best friend, he doesn't need to be reminded how horrible of a person he is.
"Don't do this," Taehyung says, voice lowering and turning serious all of a sudden. Jungkook peeks at him through his fingers. "Don't start making out with the guy you've had a crush on for years when he doesn't have feelings for you. You're gonna get hurt."
"Whatever," Jungkook sighs, head falling to the table next to his tray. "It's the least of my problems, anyway."
"No, not whatever. You're amazing Jungkook you deserve a guy that literally worships the ground you walk on."
"You do! Stop kissing Jimin and find yourself a guy that wants you. There's plenty."
"I don't know. It's not that easy," he says.
Jungkook might be shy in many aspects but he knows he's attractive and he knows there's a lot of potential suitors out there that are interested in him. No one has ever caught his attention for more than a second, though, not for lack of trying but Jungkook's tunnel vision is set on one man and one man only. It's hopeless. Even if he was open to meeting someone it doesn't mean his feelings for Jimin would just disappear and it wouldn't be fair on them to start dating them while he harbors feelings for someone else.
So, Jungkook has decided to be celibate forever. It's fine. As long as he gets to make out with Jimin once every blue moon. It doesn't sound like such a bad life.
"Come to my place on Friday I'm throwing a party and a lot of people are coming. Find someone cute and make out with them for a bit."
"I'll come to your party but I don't know about making out-"
"I'll make sure you find someone cute." Taehyung waves him off. "It's fine if you don't wanna make out with them but you can flirt and sit on their lap or something."
"Sure..." Jungkook accepts because there's not point in arguing with Taehyung. He doesn't have any plans for Friday, anyway, a party sounds pretty good right about now. "Is Jimin hyung invited?"
Taehyung blinks at him, brows furrowed in an unimpressed expression. "You're a lost cause."
He really is.
"It's more crowded than I expected," Jungkook says over the music, lips pressed against Jimin's ear.
Despite Taehyung's place being a small one bedroom apartment, it's currently fitting around fifty to sixty people. The two couches and the armchair are occupied, the coffee table filled with empty soju and beer bottles, dirty ashtrays with cigarettes still lit in them and half empty abandoned glasses. Most people are standing, conversing with each other over the loud music, leaned against walls to make-out with people they just met and there's a small queue of people waiting outside the bathroom. Taehyung's bedroom door is open to reveal more people seeking a quieter area, sitting on the floor and on the bed.
It seems like the drunkest people have all migrated to the kitchen, drinking shots and filling their glasses as soon as they're empty.
Taehyung is with them.
"Do you wanna go home?" Jimin asks, looking slightly uncomfortable.
Out of the two, he's the social butterfly. He rarely passes up on a party or a get together, isn't afraid of big crowds in any way, shape or form and he often ends up being the life of the party.
But, Jungkook almost had to drag him out of their apartment tonight.
Jimin had offered to stay home and watch a movie instead but Jungkook wasn't one to stand his friends up so he told Jimin he would go alone, a statement with which Jimin strongly disagreed before he got ready for the party in record time.
And here they are, now.
Jungkook wishes he'd stayed home instead.
"We just got here." Jungkook replied, taking Jimin's hand in his. "Let's at least stay for an hour."
He doesn't wait for Jimin's approval before guiding him to the kitchen.
A few people greet them with a nod earning themselves forced smiles from Jimin and Jungkook.
"Hyung!" Jungkook calls over the music, resting a hand on the back of Taehyung's back.
"Jungkook-ah! Jimin-ah!" he beams, hugging them both at once. He smells like alcohol and smoke but he seems otherwise pretty sober. "Thanks for coming. Have a drink!"
"What do you have?" Jimin says, ever the alcohol lover.
"A little bit of everything. Check the fridge, too. Take anything you want."
Jimin heads straight for the vodka bottle sitting in one corner of the kitchen counter, leaving Taehyung and Jungkook alone as he pours himself a drink.
Taehyung wraps an arm around Jungkook's shoulders as they face the crowd of people in the living room.
"I have selected a few guys you might be interested in," Taehyung says, lips brushing against Jungkook's ear. Jungkook sighs. He has no interest in mingling tonight; he just came here to have a drink and maybe, if he gets lucky, make-out with Jimin at the end of the night. "First we have Kim Sungho."
"Yeah, no." Jungkook shakes his head.
"Why not? He's cute!"
"Yeah, but it's just not gonna work." Jungkook waves his hand. There's no way Sungho will ever acknowledge his existence again after he rejected him , Jungkook thinks. He's proven wrong when their eyes meet and Sungho smiles at him.
"See!" Taehyung points at him. "He wants you."
"He just smiled."
"He wants you."
"I need a drink." Jungkook makes to leave but Taehyung tightens his hold around his shoulders.
"Okay, then what about him?" he points at a guy two heads taller than him with a buzzcut and tattoos peeking out of the sleeve of his t-shirt. He's hot. Really, if Jungkook wasn't an idiot in love he'd make a move.
"He's busy." The guy is engaged in a passionate conversation with three other people.
"One look at you and he'll find time to fit you into his schedule." Taehyung smirks, eyes raking down Jungkook's body. "You look gorgeous, by the way."
Jungkook had made somewhat of an effort tonight. He's wearing an all black outfit, which isn't that different from what he usually wears, but instead of loose pants and a baggy t-shirt he's wearing his tightest pair of jeans and a form-fitting black tee tucked into his pants which accentuates the dip of his waist. He put make-up on as well, dark eye shadow with a touch of eyeliner and he parted his hair in the middle to expose his forehead.
He knows he looks hot.
He knows who he looks hot for.
"Thanks," Jungkook says, smiling at him. "Maybe we should make out."
He's blowing Taehyung a kiss when Jimin's voice interrupts them. "What are you guys talking about?" he asks, handing a glass to Jungkook. Jungkook clears his throat, cheeks turning pink when he realizes Jimin's frowning at them.
"Jungkookie wants to make out with me," Taehyung says, grimacing like it'd be the worst thing in the world that could happen. Jungkook is slightly offended.
Jimin raises his eyebrows, tongue in cheek as he cocks his head to the side, "Huh. Is that so?" There's a teasing lilt to his voice like he's challenging Jungkook to actually do it. Jungkook will never be dumb enough to take on that challenge; he has no desire to kiss anyone but him. The way he's looking at Jungkook with dark eyes and teeth digging in the inside of his cheek; it's obvious he's bothered.
"It was a joke." Jungkook rolls his eyes, looking away. Something warm stirs in the pit of his stomach, body coming alive under Jimin's intense stare. No one should ever test Park Jimin's patience. Not that Jimin's reaction is in any way coherent for a guy who abhorres the thought of putting a claim on people. Nor is it appropriate for someone who's nothing but a friend.
If anything, Jimin should encourage him to find someone.
"I'm trying to find him a guy to hook up with," Taehyung says, unaware of the growing tension. Jungkook flinches when Jimin leans on the kitchen counter, eyes raking up and down Jungkook's body. It's like Jungkook can feel his touch; his presence is so intimidating it feels like he's two heads taller than Jungkook. Jimin crosses his arms above his chest, feigning interest in their conversation.
"We never said anything about hooking up," Jungkook reminds Taehyung, swatting at his chest.
"We said you'd flirt and make out with someone which will most likely lead you to getting railed so, same shit. You really need to get laid anyway."
"I don't." Jungkook scoffs, burying his embarrassment in his glass. He welcomes the feeling of vodka burning the back of his throat with open arms. Jimin won't stop looking at him, it's making him squirm.
"Yeah, you do."
"I can do this all day," Jungkook says, glaring at Taehyung. They're always childish when they're together which is probably why they became friends in the first place. Taehyung is very easy to get along with no matter how infuriating he can be sometimes.
"So, can I," Taehyung says, quirking an eyebrow. "How long has it been since you last had sex? Fifty years?"
"Not that long."
"I don't know." Jungkook groans, running a hand over the side of his face. It's burning to the touch. Jimin looks at him more intently then, like he's interested in his reply as well. "Two, three years. It doesn't matter. I'm not fucking a stranger."
"Oh baby", Taehyung whines, bringing a hand to his chest, pouting dramatically. "You deserve cock, you really do."
"Thanks?" Jungkook frowns. He downs his glass, swallowing the cough that follows.
"You haven't hooked up with anybody since your last boyfriend?" Jimin suddenly asks, head tilted to the side.
"I think I hooked up with like two people since then."
"And you don't miss it?"
"I mean." Jungkook shrugs, looking down at his empty glass. "I miss the intimacy of it all more than anything."
"Our Jungkookie is a romantic," Taehyung says, wrapping his arm around Jungkook's waist. "How sweet."
"The sweetest," Jimin breathes out, and he's so close to Jungkook that Jungkook can hear him over the loud music. Jungkook's stomach fills with butterflies, warmth spreading inside his chest as their eyes meet. Jimin looks at him that devastating way he always does, gaze filled with fondness and a hint of something Jungkook's never managed to decipher. He looks at Jungkook like he's the center of his universe.
"I need another drink," Jungkook says, eyeing the vodka bottle.
"Okay, I'm gonna talk to some people. Please, find a guy tonight. It'll be fun," Taehyung says, patting his back before heading to a corner of the living room.
Jimin sticks around for another minute before he wanders off to the couch, recognizing a girl from one of his classes. Jungkook refills his glass and spends half an hour leaning against the kitchen counter, watching people he doesn't know interact with people they barely know. It's fascinating really, seeing all these people make friends like it's the easiest thing in the world, made even easier by the alcohol flowing in their veins; something Jungkook will probably never be able to do without getting anxious and second-guessing himself.
People are so fascinating.
But not as fascinating as Jimin.
The way his lips purse around his words, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth when he focuses on what his interlocutor is saying, the way his eyes never leave them for even a second, the way he sits with his legs spread like he's the most confident person you'll ever meet. His beauty is dangerous, his personality is dangerous. Everything about him is dangerous. His whole being pulled Jungkook in and made a home for itself in his mind, his heart, and all Jungkook can do is watch him.
He watches him knowing damn well no one will ever stand a chance.
No one will ever make him feel as warm as loving Jimin does.
No one will ever crawl under his skin the way Jimin has.
There's no point in looking for someone to hook up with when Jungkook's mind is filled with nothing but Jimin, Jimin, Jimin. So, Jungkook doesn't even try, not even for the sake of Taehyung. He can't force himself to try. Instead, he wishes, most likely in vain, that he becomes the center of Jimin's world too.
And like Jungkook and Jimin shared some sort of telepathic bond, Jimin looks at him then.
Their eyes meet and it's like the world stops. Loud music like background noise, people like blurry figures. None of it matters when their tunnel vision is on each other. Jungkook's breath gets stuck in his throat, hands going clammy around his glass and heart beating a mile a minute in his chest. His body comes to life the way it always does when Jimin gives him a sliver of his attention.
Jungkook could get anyone, he knows he could, yet the only man he wants seems so far out of touch it's driving him crazy. Perhaps the reason Jungkook wants Jimin so much is because he's so unattainable.
A man so unattainable he refuses to kiss people despite fucking any pretty thing that breathes. Jungkook would beg on his knees if he wasn’t so prideful. He’d beg to have all of Jimin.
And perhaps it shows in his eyes because the next thing he knows Jimin is walking towards him, gaze so dark Jungkook is a second away from bending over.
"What are you doing?" Jimin asks, stopping a few inches from Jungkook. He does it on purpose. He does it to steal Jungkook's breath away, to render him weak. Not that it takes much for Jungkook to be weak under his scrutiny. Jungkook can barely hear him over the music but he can make out what he says just by looking at his lips, ears heating up just as the thought of tasting him there again.
"Looking at you," Jungkook answers with more confidence than he feels. He has nothing to lose. It's not like it's a secret he wants to kiss Jimin. It's not even a secret he wants to get fucked by Jimin. He's barely been at this party for an hour which is a fit for someone who hates socializing as much as he does. He deserves a reward and he plans on earning the best reward.
Fuck what Taehyung says.
To stop kissing Jimin isn't an option. To avoid getting hurt isn't an option either. Not when kissing Jimin is as intoxicating as it is.
Jimin tilts his head to the side, a slow smile spreading across his lips. Resting a hand on the counter, he leans in, breath searing hot against Jungkook's ear. "Do you wanna get out of here?" he whispers, almost imperceptible over the loud music.
It sends shivers down Jungkook's spine, the implication of the words not lost on him, and he considers saying yes right away, for just a split second, before his teasing nature takes over.
"I should find a guy to hook up with, remember?"
"Oh yeah?" Leaning away, Jimin chuckles. The heat of his body is sending Jungkook through a loop, reminding him of how strong he felt against him when they made out on their couch. "I thought you didn't want to fuck a stranger."
"Doesn't have to be a stranger." The words spill out of Jungkook's mouth before he can think of what he's saying. Refusing to back down, he stares straight into Jimin's eyes, stomach burning the same way Jimin's eyes do.
"Yeah? You got any friends you wanna fuck?"
Jimin groans, tongue in cheek as he looks away for a second. When he looks back, eyes dark and jaw tight, there's no doubt in Jungkook's mind exactly what he wants to do to him. "You're killing me, Jungkook. I can't tell if you're teasing me or if you're just fucking clueless."
"How so?" Jungkook tilts his head to the side, hips leaning imperceptibly closer to Jimin's. He's caged in against the counter and despite how suffocatingly hot the room feels, Jungkook loves playing with fire.
"Let's just go home," Jimin whispers the words against Jungkook's lips, frowning when Jungkook pulls back just slightly. He wants to tease until Jimin's resolve breaks. He wants Jimin to admit he wants to fuck him. To admit why he wants to fuck him.
"You think you're the friend I'd like to fuck?"
"I don't know."
Jungkook quirks an eyebrow. He's been more than obvious about what he wants. "You don't know?"
"Don't do this to me, Jungkook-ah." Jimin sighs. The tension is so thick his breathing has become erratic. He's burning with desire, it's obvious in the way his hands are slightly trembling when he pushes his hair back. "Just tell me what you want."
"What do you want?"
"Right now, I really want to go home."
"And do what?"
"And fuck you," Jimin finally admits, voice rough and eyes digging a hole into Jungkook's soul. "I wanna go home and fuck you. Happy?"
"Delighted." Jungkook bites on his bottom lip in an attempt to hide his shit-eating grin. He feels like he won some type of game of push and pull they've been playing for years. Jimin is the first one to cave and that makes Jungkook feel powerful. He knows the feeling won't last long. Not when Jimin's tight grip on his hips betrays how bad he wants to get rid of Jungkook's smirk.
Head tilted to the side, Jimin's eyes travel down Jungkook's body like he's making a list of all the places he's going to ravish.
"Okay," he says, looking up. "Let's fucking go, now."
It doesn’t take long for them to get home. It’s only a twenty minute drive but it feels longer with how thick the tension is. Jungkook’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest every time Jimin throws a glance at him like he’s looking for an ounce of doubt on Jungkook’s face.
There’s no doubt. Not when Jungkook feels slightly buzzed from the two glasses he’s had and not when he feels as eager as he does to get his hands on Jimin’s body.
There’s silence when they get out of the cab, silence when they enter their building, silence when they enter their apartment and get rid of their shoes and coats.
Jimin turns the lights on and it’s like all of their desires are exposed. In the way their hungry eyes lock onto each other, in the way Jungkook’s hands are trembling and Jimin’s chest is almost heaving. It’s palpable, how much they want each other, but they’re both hesitant to make the first move.
Jungkook’s ears are ringing, heart beating so fast he can feel it in his throat. He instigated this whole thing between them so he should be making the first move. But Jungkook likes to be chased. He likes the thrill of being wanted.
He caves first, stepping so close, so slowly Jungkook can feel the heat of Jimin’s body before they even touch.
Their chests collide, Jimin’s hands find a home in the dip of Jungkook’s waist and they share a shaky breath. Jungkook’s body comes alive, electricity coursing through his veins as he rests hesitant hands on Jimin’s shoulders.
“Do you still want it?” Jimin whispers, voice low and words slurred in an all too familiar satoori accent. His eyes are trained on Jungkook’s lips, tunnel vision on what he desires the most.
“Yeah, I want you,” Jimin breathes out, looking into Jungkook’s eyes. Sincerity is written all over his face.
It should be surprising, perhaps even unsettling, to hear these words coming out of his best friend’s mouth but for some reason it feels right.
Jungkook feels nothing but elation and relief.
He feels horny, too, but Jimin will fix it soon.
“Kiss me, then,” Jungkook says. He barely has time to finish his sentence before Jimin catches his lips in a kiss.
It’s slow and sweet, the way it always is when Jimin first kisses him, their lips fitting together perfectly. His grip on Jungkook’s hips tightens almost imperceptibly but Jungkook is feeling especially sensitive in this moment that he feels every movement, every touch, every caress ten fold. From head to toe, he feels warm.
Jimin tilts his head to the side, parting his lips to deepen the kiss. They shiver when their tongues meet, a content sign escaping their lips.
Jungkook’s hands find themselves holding onto the back of Jimin’s neck without his permission and Jimin seems to like the way he slides his fingers through his hair from the way he moans against Jungkook’s mouth. He pulls Jungkook in, bodies molding against each other, and walks them to Jungkook’s room.
Jungkook lets out a surprised yelp when the back of his knees hits the foot of his bed, heart jumping in his chest for a short second.
Jimin licks into his mouth once before sucking on his bottom lip and pulling away. “Do you have lube? Condoms?” he asks, a fond smile on his lips.
Jungkook’s mind is too hazy to process Jimin’s words so he just blinks, licking the taste of Jimin off of his lips.
Jimin chuckles, giving him a quick kiss before he sits Jungkook on the bed. “I’ll be right back.”
Jungkook sits there, watching Jimin leave. He realizes how dark it is in his room, only slightly illuminated by the living room lights. He gets up and turns the light on his bedside table. He wants to see Jimin, all of him, properly.
He sits back in the spot where Jimin left him and doesn’t have to wait long until Jimin comes back with lube and a condom. Something uncomfortable twists in the pit of Jungkook’s stomach when he notices the lube bottle is almost empty, but he chooses to ignore it.
“Here,” Jimin says as he puts everything next to Jungkook. “Not sure what you like but I’m up for anything.”
“I usually like to bottom,” Jungkook says easily. He’s never outright told Jimin before but he’s implied it on the rare occasions he’s talked about his sex life before so Jimin should know.
“Okay.” Jimin smiles. “Just wanted to make sure.”
“Is that okay with you?”
“You know it is.”
Jimin’s sexual preferences are no secret to anyone with how comfortable he is with talking about the topic and how many people he’s had sex with on campus.
Jungkook’s heard things.
Jimin’s known for being good and Jungkook, well, he’s not bad by any means, but he’s less experienced. That makes him nervous in a way, but he trusts Jimin so much that he can’t help but feel comfortable. Maybe not confident but comfortable.
“Come here,” Jungkook says, opening his arms for him.
Jimin straddles his lap, smiling down at him. He brushes Jungkook’s hair off of his forehead before leaving a kiss there.
In the privacy of their apartment Jungkook can read him like a book and all he can see on Jimin’s face, in this moment, is trust and happiness.
Jungkook’s heart skips a beat when Jimin cups his face, brushing their noses together before he kisses him. They hug each other tight, breathing against each other as they explore each other’s mouth.
It gradually becomes heated. Starting with a moan spilling out of Jimin’s mouth when Jungkook’s hands travel up his shirt, then a groan escaping Jungkook’s throat when Jimin rolls his hips and licks into his mouth just the way Jungkook likes, until they’re breathing so heavy they can barely kiss anymore.
Jimin’s lips latch onto Jungkook’s neck instead, teeth grazing in sensitive spots, sending a shiver down Jungkook’s back. Eyes closed, Jungkook allows himself to just feel. Feel the smooth skin of Jimin’s back under his fingertips, the softness of Jimin’s lips on his throat and the heat where their bodies meet, almost stifling.
“For someone who doesn’t like to kiss people,” Jungkook chuckles when the brush of Jimin’s lips under his ear tickles. “You sure like to kiss me.”
“I never said I don’t like kissing.” Jimin’s breath is hot against Jungkook’s wet skin. “I just don’t like kissing anybody. And you’re not just anybody.”
“What am I then?”
“My Jungkook,” Jimin says without skipping a beat, pulling back to look straight into Jungkook’s eyes. “You’ll always be my Jungkook.”
It feels like Jungkook’s breath is being knocked out of him, heart soaring in his chest. His whole body fills with warmth. He feels like he’s floating.
He doesn’t have time to reply. Doesn’t have time to tell Jimin how much these words mean to him, how deep they settle in his brain, a memory he’ll never let go off. He barely has time to breathe before Jimin is kissing him again, more intense than any of the kisses they’ve shared before.
He pushes Jungkook until he’s lying on his back and slides his hands under his shirt, exploring his body with the softest of touches. The tips of his fingers grazing against Jungkook’s nipples send electricity coursing through his whole body and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Jimin.
He sits back long enough to take Jungkook’s shirt off and then he latches his mouth onto one of his nipples.
Jungkook throws his head back, hands flying to Jimin’s hair, a moan escaping his parted lips.
He’s dreamt about this moment a thousand times. He’s not sure it’s not a dream, still. Perhaps, it’s because he hasn’t been touched like this in years or perhaps it’s because Jimin is the one touching him but everything feels so intense he almost feels dizzy with it.
It only takes a few minutes of Jimin sucking and biting on his nipples, nails scraping down his sides in the most delicious mix of pain and pleasure, for Jungkook to get fully hard.
“Move up,” Jimin says. His lips are tinted red and wet with saliva, a gorgeous sight that only serves to make Jungkook’s desire grow.
Jungkook moves up the bed until his head rests on his pillow, eager eyes trained on Jimin’s body luring over him.
“You’re so beautiful,” Jimin breathes out, trailing a hand down Jungkook’s stomach. It leaves his skin burning, chest rising and falling faster than it should with how little they’ve done.
The praise goes straight to Jungkook’s cock.
Jungkook slides his hands up Jimin’s shirt, grabbing at the dip of his waist, remembering all the times he’s imagined Jimin’s gorgeous body moving over him, all sweaty and soft in the most beautiful places. His hips, in particular, have been the subject of most of his fantasies. The way he moves them, more specifically.
Jungkook can’t wait to feel him between his legs.
“Wanna see you, too,” Jungkook says, voice lilted with desperation. “Take it off.”
Jimin smiles down at him, fingertips playing with the hem of Jungkook’s jeans before he takes his shirt off, eyes never leaving his.
Jungkook has seen him shirtless countless times but it feels different seeing him undressing just for him.
“What do you think?” Jimin asks, quirking an eyebrow as he lowers himself over Jungkook.
“You know you’re gorgeous.”
“Yeah.” Jimin smirks. “But I like hearing it. Especially from pretty boys like you.”
“Shut up,” Jungkook chuckles but it comes out nervous, cheeks heating up.
“Hm.” Jimin brushes their noses together, his hot breath teasing Jungkook’s lips. “You’re right. Enough talking.”
He catches Jungkook’s lips in a rough kiss, all teeth and tongue. Jungkook groans into Jimin’s mouth, opening his own to take whatever Jimin gives him.
Jimin wraps a hand around Jungkook’s jaw to keep him in place and kisses him wet and messy until Jungkook’s lungs start to burn.
They break the kiss on a moan when Jimin grinds their cocks together, spit connecting their lips.
Jimin takes Jungkook’s shirt off and kisses down his chest, hands exploring every inch of skin available to him. He sucks a mark into Jungkook’s stomach, so close to where Jungkook wants his mouth. Jimin palms at Jungkook’s cock so abruptly that it makes Jungkook jolt before he relaxes into the touch, a sweet moan escaping his parted lips.
Jimin’s taking his time leaving marks behind and working Jungkook up until Jungkook can’t take it and starts bucking his hips up into Jimin’s touch. He needs Jimin’s hand on him yesterday and he’s not above begging if he has to.
Jimin takes pity on him although it’s obvious he takes pleasure in turning Jungkook into a desperate mess judging from the satisfied smirk on his face when Jungkook whimpers.
He makes a show of straddling Jungkook’s thighs and unbuttoning his jeans, cooing at the outline of Jungkook’s cock in his boxers like it’s the cutest thing he’s ever fucking seen.
“Hyung, come on,” Jungkook whines, bucking his hips up.
“What is it?”
“Just…” Jungkook sighs, squeezing his eyes shut when Jimin runs a finger down his length over the fabric of his boxers. “Jerk me off. Suck me off. I don’t know but do something.”
Jimin bites on his bottom lip, fingers hooking into the hem of Jungkook’s jeans and boxers and looks at him in the eyes when he says, “Oh, I’ll do something alright.”
Then he pulls them down and Jungkook is left fully exposed, his cock resting against his stomach, under Jimin’s hungry gaze.
Jimin doesn’t waste any more time teasing him. He wraps his lips around the tip of Jungkook’s cock and licks at his slit.
Jungkook gasps, throwing his head back as his vision blurs for a second.
It’s like an out of body experience to have his best friend, who he’s been in love with for years , sucking his cock better than he’s ever dared to imagine in his filthiest dreams.
Jimin knows what he’s doing. It’s obvious in the way he pushes Jungkook’s cock into his mouth so easy it feels like he doesn’t have a gag reflex. It should be illegal to feel how tight his throat is, how warm and wet his mouth is, for free. Jimin’s mouth is so sinfully perfect it feels like a privilege to be on the receiving end of the most mind-blowing blowjob ever known to man.
And all Jungkook can offer in return are pathetic whines and broken moans, hands fisting the sheets so tight he’s seconds away from ripping them off the mattress.
There’s mirth in Jimin’s eyes when he looks up at him and Jungkook feels so messy compared to how put together Jimin looks with a mouthful of cock. There’s tears at the corner of Jungkook’s eyes and drool on his chin from their previous kiss whereas Jimin’s makeup is intact, hair neatly brushed back of his forehead.
His mouth, however, is red and wet with drool, stretched around Jungkook’s cock like it’s always belonged there.
He holds Jungkook’s gaze as he bobs his head up and down in slow, sensual motions, tongue teasing at his cockhead on the way up. Jungkook watches him with fascination, feeling almost envious of how good he is at sucking cock, wishing he could make Jimin feel just as good.
Jimin wraps a hand around the base of Jungkook’s cock and uses the other to play with his balls, sending a jolt of pleasure to Jungkook’s stomach.
He jerks him off in time with his mouth until he needs to breathe, the pop of his mouth sounding obscene when he pulls off. He licks his lips clean and strokes him slow and gentle. Jungkook’s cock is so wet the sounds Jimin’s hand makes turns him on as much as the feeling of it does.
“You’re unreal,” Jungkook breathes out, mesmerized by how pretty Jimin’s eyes sparkle.
“You have a great cock.” He replies. Jungkook laughs at that, sliding his hands down his face as he feels his ears heating up. “Love the way you taste.”
“Fuck.” Jungkook groans when Jimin takes him in his mouth, pushing the tip of his cock against the inside of his cheek. “Hyung.”
Jimin hums around him as he lowers his head, swallowing when Jungkook’s cock hits the back of his throat. He stays there for a short while, cockwarming Jungkook with his mouth and just enjoying the weight of it on his tongue.
Jungkook’s breathing is uneven, hands erratic as he tries to find purchase on something, anything. They eventually find their way to Jimin’s hair, fingers wrapping around dark strands, and Jimin lets him.
He seems unbothered by the way Jungkook pulls at it, too focused on tasting every inch of Jungkook’s cock and sucking on it like it’s the last he’ll ever have.
He’s lazily bobbing his head up and down when a finger probes at Jungkook’s entrance. Jungkook unconsciously spreads his legs wider, eager to finally feel Jimin there.
Jimin gently circles his entrance a few times, just to give him a taste of what’s coming before he wraps his arms under Jungkook’s thighs and pulls off his cock to latch his lips onto his inner thigh.
Jungkook gasps when Jimin sucks a mark into the skin, eyes trained on him like he’s gauging his reaction. He bites on the skin, leaving an indent of his teeth behind before he nuzzles Jungkook’s other inner thigh.
“How many times do you wanna come?” Jimin asks casually. Jungkook chuckles, throwing his head back. He can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“Once will be fine,” he says, licking his lips as he looks down. The sight of Jimin’s head between his thighs makes his cock twitch. He’s lying on his stomach like he’s planning on spending his night there, like his purpose in life is just to pleasure Jungkook.
Jimin shakes his head in disapproval. “You deserve better than that.” He strokes Jungkook’s thighs with reverence, brushing his mouth against the inner side like it’s his favorite part of Jungkook’s body.
“Twice?” Jungkook says hesitantly. Truth is he’s not sure he can handle much tonight. It’s been a while since he’s had sex, his stamina isn’t what it used to be and it’s Jimin they’re talking about. There’s no doubt in Jungkook’s mind that his legs will be shaking after Jimin’s done with him.
Coming once is more than enough.
“You’re not greedy.”
“I just want you to fuck me.”
“And I will.” Jimin smiles, grazing his teeth near Jungkook’s navel. “But I also wanna take my time with you.”
“Do as you please, then,” Jungkook breathes out.
Jimin’s eyes darken, a devilish smile taking over his lips. “Dangerous words, Jungkook-ah.”
“Just give it to me.”
“Give you what?”
Jungkook groans, grabbing the pillow next to him to smother his face with it. Jimin laughs, head resting against his stomach and body jostling Jungkook’s.
“You’re infuriating,” Jungkook whines, voice muffled into the pillow he’s hugging. He kicks Jimin’s side in retaliation for laughing again. “Just make me come already.”
“You’re so cute.” Jimin takes the pillow from Jungkook and throws it on the floor. Jungkook’s forced to look at him, red cheeks and all.
“I could look cuter sat on your cock,” Jungkook says, shrugging.
“Yeah?” Jimin smirks as he kisses his way up Jungkook’s chest, leaving a searing hot trail behind every kiss. “Maybe we should try that,” he says before biting Jungkook’s neck.
Jungkook gasps, leaning his head back to give him more access.
“Or…” Jimin leaves a wet kiss under his jawline. “You could just lie down….” An open-mouthed kiss under his ear. “And let me fuck you into this mattress until you’re shaking.” A playful bite on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Your choice.”
Jungkook is shuddering under Jimin’s touch, goosebumps rising on his skin where Jimin caresses his sides. His heartbeat is erratic and he’s starting to sweat from just foreplay.
Jimin is good.
He’s too good.
Jungkook hasn’t even seen his cock yet and he’s already imagining how it’ll feel inside of him.
He needs it.
He needs it like he’ll die if Jimin doesn’t split him open with it in the next five minutes.
Enough is enough.
Jungkook wraps his legs around Jimin’s waist, locking him in as he slides an expert hand inside his jeans and grabs his cock.
“Shit!” Jimin’s voice breaks on a moan as he pulls back, wide eyes trained on Jungkook’s determined face.
Jungkook has to stop a surprised noise from escaping his lips when he feels how thick Jimin’s cock is. It’s thicker than his own albeit shorter but Jungkook tends to prefer being stretched past his limits more than anything else. Jimin’s cock is exactly the type of cock he fantasizes about.
He doesn’t get to stroke Jimin’s cock for long because Jimin grabs his wrist and pins it to his stomach. Jungkook lets out a frustrated groan, a small pout on his lips. Jimin is stronger than he looks.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Jimin asks, dark eyes making Jungkook squirm. He’s smirking like Jungkook’s attitude is the most amusing thing he’s ever seen.
“Trying to give you a taste of your own medicine but you won’t let me.”
“Adorable,” Jimin whispers.
He kisses Jungkook then, taking his breath away. Jungkook tries to keep his head afloat as best as he can with how good of a kisser Jimin is. He uses his own tricks, opening his mouth pliantly and releasing the softest of moans when Jimin sucks on his tongue.
He plays the part of the obedient sex partner for all of two minutes, long enough for Jimin to lose himself in the kiss until his hold on Jungkook’s fist loosens. His hand moves to Jungkook’s waist instead, pulling Jungkook in that much closer.
Jungkook uses his new freedom to slide his hand between his legs, fingers circling his own entrance.
Jimin notices it right away.
He breaks the kiss, eyes falling to Jungkook’s hand.
“What now?” He raises an eyebrow, lips curving into a smirk. “Think putting on a show for me will make me break?”
“Maybe,” Jungkook breathes out, licking his bottom lip. He grabs the lube bottle by his side, opening it before he pours some in his palm.
Jimin looks at him with his head tilted, stroking Jungkook’s waist with his thumb. Jungkook wraps his hand around his cock and starts stroking himself slow and gentle, the way he always does when he wants to take his time.
Jimin’s eyes follow the movement, lips parting on a sigh. Jungkook knows better than to be a brat with him. He knows that the only way to make Jimin break is to be good and sweet.
“Hyung,” Jungkook says, grabbing Jimin’s attention. “Can you eat me out, please?” he asks, spreading his legs as wide as he can.
“You ask so nicely,” Jimin breathes out, composure breaking for the first time tonight.
“Anything,” Jimin whispers the words against Jungkook’s mouth before pecking him on the lips. “I’ll give you anything you want.”
Jungkook almost breaks, a winning smile tugging at his lips, but he continues to play the part, wide pleading eyes looking up at Jimin with more desperation than necessary.
Jungkook truly believes, in this moment, that Jimin would give him the world if he asked.
Jimin kisses a trail down Jungkook’s body, grabbing a pillow that he places under his hips. And then he’s licking at Jungkook’s hole, eyes trained on Jungkook’s face to watch his reaction.
Jungkook puts on a show then, parting his lips on a breathy moan and squeezing his eyes shut.
Jimin circles the tip of his tongue around Jungkook’s entrance a few times before leaving open-mouthed kisses there, closing his own eyes to focus on making Jungkook feel good.
Jungkook tightens his hold around his cock, stroking himself at a steady rhythm as he melts into the mattress. He lets himself relax against Jimin’s mouth, head swimming with a mix of content and pleasure. His body feels warm all over but it’s burning where Jimin’s mouth is, pressure gradually building in his stomach.
Jimin’s hands caressing Jungkook’s thighs leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake, rough at the touch but so gentle on Jungkook’s body.
It doesn’t take long for Jungkook to feel like he’s floating.
Jimin sure knows how to use his mouth.
He only needs a few minutes to render Jungkook weak, his body going taut when Jimin’s tongue enters him. It’s been so long since Jungkook’s been eaten out this good it feels like he’s seeing god. Jimin tongue-fucks him wet and messy, pulling Jungkook’s thighs against his face like he’d happily get crushed by them.
And all Jungkook can do is buck his hips up against Jimin’s mouth, soft moans spilling out of his lips when he flicks his tongue just right.
Jimin is committed to making Jungkook come, barely taking the time to breathe.
The sounds of Jimin’s mouth are obscene and Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of the way his jaw moves. Jimin has never looked hotter than in this moment, face buried in between his legs.
Jimin eats him out for a long time. And Jungkook takes his time jerking himself off, orgasm building in the most delicious way.
“I’m close,” Jungkook breathes out when Jimin pulls back to take a breath.
Spit is smeared all over his chin and his hair is in disarray atop his head. He looks fucked out even though Jungkook hasn’t touched him yet.
“You can come,” Jimin says before he dives back in.
Jungkook gasps when Jimin pushes his thumb in next to his tongue. He spreads Jungkook’s hole and pushes his tongue deeper, groans escaping his mouth.
Jungkook strokes himself faster and rougher. His legs shake every time Jimin moves his tongue. He likes how wet and dirty it all feels. It’s all saliva and lube, and teeth, even, when Jimin pulls back to bite his ass.
“Hyung,” Jungkook whispers with reverence as Jimin pushes two fingers inside of him, lips latching onto his inner thigh.
Their eyes meet and Jungkook can’t look away. Jimin’s gaze is so intense it punches the breath out of Jungkook’s chest.
Jimin fingers him lazily as he watches every inch of Jungkook’s face. Jungkook jerks himself off erratically, desperately chasing his orgasm.
He’s so close he can almost taste it. His hand is so wet it’s making so much noise and it adds to the pleasure of it all.
The stretch of Jimin’s fingers is perfect as Jimin fucks them in and out of him deep and slow. They brush past Jungkook’s prostate each time and it’s a torturous feeling.
Jungkook’s sweaty back is sticking to his sheets, his thighs are shaking in Jimin's hold and his balls tighten the closest he gets to his orgasm.
“Come for me, baby,” Jimin says and it’s all too much for Jungkook.
Jimin crooks his fingers just right, hitting Jungkook’s prostate so precisely it’s like he always knew where it was, and Jungkook’s orgasm hits him like a truck.
Cum spills out of his cock as he moans the loudest he ever has tonight, voice breaking as waves of pleasure shoots through his body like electricity.
“That’s it,” Jimin mumbles against his inner thighs, holding him down against the mattress as Jungkook thrashes through his orgasm. “Look so pretty when you cum.”
Jungkook slumps against the mattress when all of his strength leaves his body.
Jimin’s words do make him feel pretty despite how sweaty and sticky he is. He lets go of his cock and rests his hand full of cum on his stomach. It’s a mess but he doesn’t have the energy to care. He feels too content and satisfied to focus on anything other than the praises Jimin kisses on his body.
Jimin lies down next to him and latches his lips onto his neck. It’s just a brush of his lips but it sends shivers down Jungkook’s spine the same way his hand caressing his chest does.
“How did that feel?” Jimin asks, hiding a grin in the crook of Jungkook’s neck.
“Amazing,” Jungkook breathes out as he pushes his hair off of his sweaty forehead. Red dye sticks to the tips of his fingers but he’ll worry about that later. “I knew you were good at that.”
“Yeah?” Jimin nuzzles at Jungkook’s jawline. “You’ve thought about it before?”
Worry simmers under Jungkook’s skin when he realizes his mistake. It’s irrational to feel like he’s just spilled a secret that he never should have when a second ago his best friend was eating him out, but he can’t help but feel like he’s getting too comfortable.
He’s still not sure why they’re doing this or even how to explain why Jimin is being so casual about fucking him.
Jungkook doesn’t really want to think about it now. He can worry about it later after he gets the railing he damn well deserves.
Instead of replying, he rolls Jimin over and climbs on top of him. He kisses him. Just a soft brush of their lips to help him come down from his orgasm. And to help him forget about his worries, too. Kissing Jimin is like a religious experience. It makes his heart flip and fills his whole body with warmth.
It’s when he kisses Jimin that he realizes how in love he is. His body ignites with something he can’t explain. It feels like sparks of electricity in the back of his head, the tips of his fingers and his toes, and it feels like having butterflies in his belly. Feelings he’s never experienced before Jimin. Feelings he doesn’t want to let go of.
He can’t tell Jimin how much he loves him but he can kiss him like it.
Jungkook cups Jimin’s face and tilts his head to the side, gently sucking on his bottom lip before kissing him deep and slow. He brushes his thumbs over Jimin’s cheeks before sliding a hand down his neck and chest, just a brush of his fingertips like his body is a thing to be worshipped.
He swallows Jimin’s contented sighs and melts into the gentle touch of his hands against his back.
Jungkook’s orgasm is still buzzing under his skin but he’s overcome with a type of desperation so intense he can’t help but tighten his grip in Jimin’s hair, can’t help but grind his ass against Jimin’s hard-on, swallowing every moan that escapes Jimin’s mouth.
“Fuck me.” Jungkook demands, breathing heavy. It’s visceral; he needs Jimin inside of him or he’ll go insane.
“You just came.” Jimin chuckles, hands sliding to Jungkook’s ass. He pulls Jungkook’s hips against his cock, breath hitching in his throat. He’s been hard for so long Jungkook feels bad for him.
“I don’t care. Please, fuck me,” Jungkook whispers into his ear, hot breath sending a trail of goosebumps down Jimin’s neck. His hands travel to Jungkook’s thighs the way they always do; it’s obvious he’s drawn to that part of Jungkook’s body the most.
“I can wait.”
Jungkook unbuttons Jimin’s jeans. “I can’t.”
He doesn’t get to pull Jimin’s pants down before he gets pushed onto his back. Jimin smirks at him, pecking his lips once before he gets off the bed to get naked.
A gasp escapes Jungkook’s mouth when Jimin kneels in between his legs, cock on full display. Just like Jungkook felt earlier, it’s thicker than his own, and pretty, too, if cocks can be called that. Jungkook unconsciously spreads his legs.
He whines when Jimin grabs the lube and coats his fingers with it. “Just put it in. I can take it.”
“I’m not rushing this, Jungkook-ah,” Jimin replies, sliding his dry hand down Jungkook’s thigh. “It’s been a while, you’ve said it yourself. I don’t wanna hurt you.”
Jungkook could retort that the last time he’s taken dick was only a few days ago but he doesn’t. It may have been a silicone dick but still, it counts.
It’s not like getting fingered by Jimin is the worst thing in the world anyway.
Jimin takes his sweet time prepping Jungkook, alternating between slow and deep thrusts of his fingers and precise hits against his prostate. He fingers Jungkook until he’s a sweaty mess, incoherent pleading words spilling out of his mouth. He fingers Jungkook until he’s able to take four fingers easily. He fingers Jungkook until he’s hard again.
And when Jungkook feels like he’s on the edge of his second orgasm, Jimin pulls his fingers out, leaving his gaping hole empty.
It doesn’t stay empty for long though.
Jimin manhandles Jungkook onto his hands and knees, and doesn’t waste any time before putting a condom on.
Jungkook spreads his legs wider and lowers himself onto his elbows, ass up and exposed for Jimin to do as he pleases. His hair sticks to his forehead and his fingers are starting to hurt from gripping the sheets too tight. He’s a mess compared to Jimin but he can tell Jimin’s control is slipping. It’s obvious in the way his breathing is erratic and in the way he’s tightly gripping onto Jungkook’s ass as he spreads his cheeks and brings the tip of his cock to his hole.
“Ready?” Jimin breathes out. It’s a formality more than anything because Jungkook barely has time to nod before he’s pushing in.
Jungkook chokes on a breath, eyes going wide as Jimin finally, finally , enters him. The slide is easy and painless but Jimin takes his time nonetheless.
“Fuck,” Jimin mutters under his breath when he’s bottomed out. “Holy fuck.”
“Move, please. Need you,” Jungkook says as he pushes his hips back into Jimin.
Jimin grips his waist to stop him. “Give me a second.” His voice sounds strained and his grip on Jungkook is bruising.
His loud breathing is like music to Jungkook’s ears. Knowing he has that effect on Jimin turns him on. Jimin’s been holding off for so long that being inside Jungkook is almost enough to make him come. For a second, Jungkook considers pushing his buttons and moving his hips just to make him come but his need to be railed into the next century overpowers that fleeting thought.
So Jungkook patiently waits.
He waits until Jimin’s breathing slows down.
He waits until Jimin pulls out to the tip and slams back in, the sound of skin slapping against skin so loud in the quiet of Jungkook’s bedroom.
Jungkook lets out a broken moan, a wave of pleasure hitting him full force. He holds onto his pillow and buries his face in it as Jimin repeats the same motion in the slowest of rhythms. His pace is torturous and allows Jungkook to feel every inch of his cock, the drag of it against his walls igniting every nerve in Jungkook’s body.
“You feel so good, Jungkook.” Jimin’s voice breaks around a moan when Jungkook pushes his hips back into it.
“You too,” Jungkook whines, voice muffled by his pillow.
Tears start to prick at the corners of Jungkook’s eyes; he’s so overwhelmed by the situation. He never thought he’d get to feel this, never thought he’d get to feel Jimin so intimately. He’s dreamt about it so many times it feels surreal that it’s actually happening.
It’s not exactly how he imagined their first time to go. He thought they’d be together, that perhaps they’d have sex after confessing to each other or at the end of their first official date.
Instead, they’re having meaningless sex. Just two friends hooking up for no reason.
The thought hurts but Jimin’s cock slamming against his prostate is enough to make Jungkook’s brain go blank.
He wants to enjoy every second of it so he focuses on the way Jimin’s breath hitches when he slams into him, he focuses on the way Jimin caresses his back with the tips of his fingers and on the way the tip of his cock grazes his prostate at every thrust.
Jimin fucks him nice and slow until it’s not enough for either of them.
Encouraged by Jungkook’s moans and the way he fucks himself on his cock, Jimin picks up the pace, holding onto Jungkook’s hips as he starts really railing him.
And all Jungkook can do is take it.
It’s getting hard to breathe with the way every thrust punches the air out of his lungs and when it’s time to breathe Jungkook is too busy moaning out Jimin’s name, anyway.
Jungkook throws his pillow off the bed and takes a huge gulp of air, choking on saliva in the process. He’s a fucking mess. He feels wet all over. From sweat, from drool, from lube. Everywhere is so, so wet.
He can’t think. Can’t even feel his face. All he knows is Jimin’s cock, Jimin’s hands, Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.
At one particularly hard thrust, Jungkook’s knees slip on the sheets and he falls onto his stomach. Jimin falls with him, catching himself on his hands on each side of Jungkook’s head. He slows down his rhythm then, the new position allowing him to go even deeper, and it’s driving Jungkook insane.
“Feels too good,” Jungkook mutters. His cheek is buried into the mattress, incoherent words spilling out of his pouty lips.
“Yeah?” Jimin lets out a breathy laugh right against his ear. “Too much? Should I slow down for you?” His voice is clearly mocking but it’s all lost on Jungkook. He doesn’t have the brain power to understand he’s being toyed with.
Jimin buries his cock deep inside of Jungkook and stops moving. A drop of his sweat lands on Jungkook’s cheek and he wipes it away with his thumb, so gentle compared to how hard he was fucking Jungkook a second ago.
“Bet I could make you come just like this,” Jimin says, nuzzling at Jungkook’s jaw. He rolls his hips against Jungkook’s ass and Jungkook has never felt so full in his life. All Jungkook can do is whimper and push his ass back into it. He wraps shaky fingers around Jimin’s wrist and squeezes his eyes shut, burning this moment into his memory. “My baby,” Jimin whispers so quietly Jungkook thinks it’s a figment of his imagination at first. “Tell me what you want.”
And a word almost spills out of Jungkook’s mouth.
All of you.
Instead, Jungkook keeps his mouth shut and looks at Jimin. He lets his eyes translate all of his deepest inner secrets, all of the unspoken words he’s hidden for the past three years. He stares and stares until Jimin can’t move, until the tension between them becomes so heavy it feels like they’re going to suffocate in each other’s arms.
And he waits.
And he wishes.
He wishes for Jimin to realize he’s fucking in love with him. He wishes for Jimin to love him back just as hard.
It lasts for a split second but Jungkook catches it. He catches the way Jimin’s eyes light up with shock and something else. Something he can’t describe, something that’ll haunt his every thought until he can figure out what it means. That split second look on Jimin’s face takes Jungkook’s breath away, heart sinking with dread.
He must know.
There’s no way he doesn’t know.
Jimin pulls out and rolls Jungkook onto his back. “Want to fuck you like this,” he says as he gently enters Jungkook again. “Wanna see you.” He looks shy when he says it like it doesn’t make sense even to him why he wants to see Jungkook. Like it’s words he’s never pronounced during sex.
“Kiss me,” Jungkook says as he wraps his arms around Jimin’s neck. Jimin hugs him back and smiles down at him. His eyes look softer than usual up this close and his face is so relaxed Jungkook can’t help but smile back, heart soaring in his chest.
The atmosphere is different now. It’s like they’re enveloped in their own little bubble, eyes trained on each other as Jimin starts moving again. He bumps their noses together and leaves a soft kiss on Jungkook’s forehead, and all Jungkook can do is stare at him in wonder. He’s not sure what’s going on but he feels light. So, so light.
He doesn’t want their bubble to burst.
Jimin kisses him and, now, Jungkook feels lightheaded. Jimin kisses him as he fucks him nice and slow, swallowing every moan escaping Jungkook’s mouth, and Jungkook holds onto him like a lifeline. He wraps his legs around his waist and pushes him in deeper. He buries his fingers in Jimin’s hair and grips him tighter.
He can feel Jimin everywhere with not an inch of space separating their bodies. Their stomachs rub Jungkook’s cock, sending surges of electricity to his whole body. The more Jimin fucks him the fuller he feels and he can feel his orgasm gradually building in his belly.
They kiss until they can’t breathe anymore, and when they’re not kissing Jimin just stares at Jungkook. He watches the way Jungkook frowns when he finds the perfect angle to hit his prostate, he watches the way Jungkook’s lips part when he can’t keep his pleasure in, lips tinted the same red as his hair. He watches the way Jungkook’s eyes unfocus when Jimin slams his cock into him hard and pulls out so, so slowly. He watches the way bliss takes over Jungkook’s face and Jungkook can tell it’s driving him closer to his orgasm.
The silence of Jungkook’s room is disturbed by the sounds of their heavy breaths and of skin slapping against skin.
They look at each other like they’re the only people left in the world and Jimin caresses Jungkook’s body like he is the most precious thing he’s ever had the privilege to touch.
Jungkook loses himself to the rhythm of Jimin’s hips and in the soft brown of his gorgeous eyes. He forgets about everything that isn’t Jimin and allows himself to get worshipped.
They whisper praises and sweet nothings into each other’s mouth, and leave their marks on each other in the form of nail scrapes, bruises and hickeys.
They’re not really fucking anymore; it could easily be mistaken for love making and Jungkook loses himself in that thought. He lets Jimin’s praises make a home in his heart and takes every mark Jimin’s leaving on his body for a claim of ownership. He takes everything from Jimin and stores it deep in his memory. Every moan, every touch, every “you’re so beautiful’s”.
They’re all his and only his.
Because he knows for a fact that Jimin’s never fucked anyone else the way he’s fucking him.
Like he’s never kissed anyone the way he’s kissing him.
Jungkook greedily takes it all and lets bliss fill his whole body. He takes joy in the way Jimin’s rhythm becomes erratic and takes pride in the way his face contorts in unadulterated pleasure when he comes deep inside of Jungkook, a broken whisper of his name falling straight onto Jungkook’s lips.
Jimin buries his cock as deep as he can inside of Jungkook as his body jolts with waves of pleasure and he kisses Jungkook so hard their teeth clack together.
The tip of Jimin’s cock hits Jungkook’s prostate one last time and that combined with the way Jimin is whimpering against his mouth is enough to push Jungkook over the edge.
Jungkook’s second orgasm doesn’t hit him like a truck. This time it’s drawn out and intense in a completely different way. It comes slowly and lasts longer. It makes his legs shake and fills his whole body with warmth. Pleasure licks at his spine, sending tingles from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. It’s all consuming and intoxicating, and it has less to do with how he was fucked and more to do with the headspace he’s in.
He feels like he’s floating, like he’s reached nirvana in the arms of the man he’s head over heels in love with.
Jimin breaks the kiss and buries his face in Jungkook’s neck as he comes down from his orgasm and Jungkook holds him and kisses the side of his head. He draws shapes on Jimin’s back with the tips of his fingers and breathes in tandem with him, heart beating so hard in his chest it’s impossible Jimin can’t feel it.
They stay like this for a while until the drying sweat on their bodies becomes uncomfortable and Jungkook is starting to feel sore.
Jimin pulls back and stares at Jungkook for the millionth time tonight. His gaze is as soft as it was minutes ago.
“Hey,” he breathes out as he pushes Jungkook’s hair off of his forehead. He sounds uncertain for the first time since Tae’s party.
“Hey.” Jungkook smiles up at him, hands sliding to the dip of his waist.
“That was…” Jimin starts before licking his lips. He strokes Jungkook’s cheek with his thumb. “That was something.” He smiles back, brushing his thumb under Jungkook’s eye. His touches are so gentle it’s making Jungkook’s heart flutter.
“I loved it, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Jungkook bumps their noses together and it makes Jimin chuckle. They speak quietly, not ready to break their bubble yet.
Jimin lets out a relieved sigh and kisses Jungkook once. “Good. I loved it, too.”
Jimin buries his face in Jungkook’s neck and gives him a playful bite before pulling out of him and getting off the bed. “Don’t move.”
Jungkook instantly feels cold and empty but he doesn’t dwell on it. The aftermath of sex is always awkward one way or another, especially when you’re not dating the person you’re having sex with. Jungkook just got fucked by his best friend so it can’t get any more awkward than that in his opinion.
Jimin comes back, no condom in sight and a wet washcloth in hand. He looks more put together than he did when he was still balls deep inside of Jungkook.
“Just lay back and relax,” Jimin sing-songs as he kneels next to Jungkook and begins cleaning him. He’s gentle and mindful every time Jungkook winces when he touches a sore spot and Jungkook can’t say he doesn’t like being taken care of.
“You’re good at this.”
“Thank you. I take pride in being a good top.” Jimin winks at him and it makes Jungkook chuckle. “Can I sleep here? I like to cuddle after sex,” he asks, throwing the dirty washcloth on the floor.
Jungkook is pleased. He doesn’t think he’d have handled being alone well. All he wants is for Jimin to hug him tight and to fall asleep in his arms. He can worry about what they did tomorrow.
Jimin insists on changing the sheets despite Jungkook’s whining about being sleepy. They put some boxers on and get into bed. Jimin wraps an arm around Jungkook’s waist and buries his face in the back of his neck the way he always does when they cuddle. Jungkook melts against the warmth of his chest and intertwines their fingers over his stomach.
They don’t share another word but Jimin turns Jungkook’s face to give him a goodnight kiss before they both fall asleep.
It takes longer for Jungkook.
The fluttering of his heart is too distracting.
The first thing Jungkook sees when he wakes up in the morning is Jimin’s face.
He looks so peaceful with his parted lips and his face squished against his pillow. His breathing is slow and steady, face relaxed and arms strewn over Jungkook’s waist.
Jungkook can do nothing but smile despite the pang in his chest, wishing he could wake up to this every morning.
He gets up as silently as possible, flinching when Jimin mumbles unintelligible words in his sleep. He doesn’t wake up but he hugs Jungkook’s pillow to his chest and buries his nose in it.
Jungkook melts at the sight.
He manages to proceed with his morning routine without disturbing Jimin’s sleep and spends an hour and a half on his own in the kitchen making some coffee and in the living room watching TV.
Memories from the night before plagues his mind.
He can still feel the ghost of Jimin’s touch and his body aches in the way only good sex can hurt. He daydreams about Jimin’s lips tickling his neck, Jimin’s bruising grip on his waist and the sting of Jimin’s hips slamming against his ass. He gets worked up a few times but every time he thinks about how Jimin will probably act like nothing happened when he wakes up, and how they’ll go back to being friends and nothing more, it’s like a cold shower getting rid of the heat simmering under Jungkook’s skin.
Jungkook isn’t ready for the talk they’re gonna have.
He’s not ready for the talk they might not even have.
Last night was like a dream. It was everything Jungkook’s ever wanted. To be close to Jimin in the most intimate way, to imagine Jimin was his for a short moment. It was like being on cloud nine.
But now he feels cold and anxious. He feels drained, physically and emotionally, and waiting for Jimin to wake up is like torture.
He just wants to get it over with. He wants Jimin to tell him it was fun and to pat him on the back like friends do. He wants Jimin to break his heart once and for all so he can move on.
Jungkook is standing on their balcony, hair fluttering in the winter wind, when he feels two arms around his waist. He jolts in surprise, looking over his shoulder to find Jimin’s smiling face.
“Morning,” Jimin mumbles before kissing Jungkook’s cheek. “Did you sleep well?”
Jungkook expected Jimin to act casual but this is a different kind of casual. This is confusing casual. He’s acting like nothing happened but he’s also being extremely touchy.
Or perhaps Jungkook is reading too much into it.
“Yeah, I did,” he replies. “You?”
“Like a baby.”
Jimin peppers kisses on the back of Jungkook’s neck, small nose brushing against his nape and sending shivers down Jungkook’s spine. His hold on Jungkook’s waist is tight and there’s goosebumps on his forearms.
“It’s freezing. What are you doing out here?”
“Just needed some air.” Jungkook shrugs. He was driving himself insane, pacing around their apartment like a madman but he doesn’t mention that. “You should get back inside.” Jimin’s only wearing a shirt and his boxers, he’s going to freeze to death at this rate.
“Don’t wanna move,” Jimin mutters, resting his cheek against Jungkook’s back. “Come back inside with me.”
Jungkook doesn’t know how to feel about Jimin’s behavior. On one hand he’s not doing anything wrong being more cuddly than usual, but on the other hand it’s messing with Jungkook’s head and it’s starting to make him feel uncomfortable.
What is Jimin doing?
Why is he acting like… like they’re boyfriends or something?
Anxiety is making Jungkook’s stomach churn and he’s reaching a level of nervousness so bad he doesn’t even feel like being touched right now.
He doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like Jimin playing with his feelings. He doesn’t like Jimin treating sex like it’s meaningless.
He doesn’t like the way all of this is making him feel like he’s the butt of some sick joke.
Jimin should be worried too. He should feel uncomfortable too.
“This is weird,” Jungkook finally says, running out of patience. He untangles Jimin’s arms from his waist and turns around. Jimin’s eyebrows are raised, mouth agape as he stares at Jungkook.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re acting weird.”
“Okay.” Jimin scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “What am I doing that’s weird?” He quirks an eyebrow at Jungkook. He’s all attitude and nonchalance and it’s pissing Jungkook off.
But he’s also so damn gorgeous and it’s so distracting. Jungkook is torn between wanting to kiss him and wanting to run out of their apartment.
“You’re acting like nothing happened last night. You’re acting like…like…” Jungkook lets out a frustrated sigh, sliding a hand through his hair as he looks away.
“I don’t know. Like it’s normal we had sex. We’re friends , Jimin.” Jungkook tends to forgo honorifics when he’s mad but Jimin doesn’t even flinch. He’s never made a point of Jungkook calling him hyung anyway.
“ Right.” Jimin nods, all serene and condescending like he’s talking to a child. “How friendly of you to let me fuck you in the ass, Jungkook-ah.”
“God, you’re so annoying.” Jungkook groans, burying his face in his hands. And no, it’s not to hide his blush. He’s just very aggravated. “I’m being serious,” he says, looking up and Jimin isn’t laughing.
“So am I.” He sighs and shakes his head. “Can we go inside? I’m fucking freezing.”
Jimin has barely closed the door to their balcony before he speaks. “What’s the issue here?”
“It’s weird!” Jungkook says, more agitated than he should be. “Best friends don’t have sex.”
“ We don’t! First you let me kiss you and now you’re fucking me. And we’re supposed to keep acting like it’s nothing?”
“I thought you wanted to act like it’s nothing. You’re the one who likes someone else. You’re the one who asked me to kiss you and told me I could keep kissing you.” Jimin is frowning; hurt is written all over his face and it leaves Jungkook speechless.
He’s right. Everything he says is true so Jungkook doesn’t have the right to blame Jimin for anything.
Jimin isn’t the one who’s hurting Jungkook.
Jungkook is hurting himself.
He’s the one who started this whole thing, he’s the one who chose to ignore his feelings for an hour of good sex and some stolen kisses.
“I don’t know how you feel about that guy,” Jimin continues, voice weak. “About that guy you have a crush on. You never wanna speak about him so I don’t know the extent of your feelings but I thought…” He stops, looking down and Jungkook’s heart is beating a mile a minute because this is all fucking stupid. There is no other guy but him. “I just assumed that since you kissed me back and flirted with me, that maybe...I don’t know, that maybe we had something.”
Jungkook’s heart stops right there and he feels like he’s going to pass out because what?
“I’m not acting like nothing happened last night,” Jimin says, sliding his fingers through his hair the way he always does when he’s nervous. “I’m acting like we’re something more than just friends. But I guess I was mistaken. Which is fine. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”
Jungkook feels weak in the knees, head spinning with disbelief. He can barely hear Jimin over the sound of his beating heart. His hands are clammy and his breaths are shallow, he can’t think straight, can’t process the words that just came out of Jimin’s mouth.
More, more, more.
“I’m fucking in love with you, you moron.”
The words spill out of Jungkook’s mouth without his permission and it’s like time stops.
Jimin’s eyes widen, his lips part, he’s looking at Jungkook like he’s grown a second head.
A weight is lifted off of Jungkook’s chest, he can breathe again, he’s looking at Jimin like he hung the moon.
“What did you just say?” Jimin asks although he’s so quiet Jungkook reads his lips more than he can hear him.
“I love you. I’m in love with you.”
“Wha- I’m so fucking confused.” Jimin chuckles, burying his head in his hands. “What about your crush?” He looks into Jungkook’s eyes like he’ll find all the answers to his question.
“There’s no crush. I lied. I just wanted to kiss you.”
Jungkook realizes he sounds like a robot and he feels like one, too. He’s not even sure all of this isn’t a dream. His brain-to-mouth filter has left the perimeter, it’s just him and his dumbass feelings.
“You just wanted to kiss me.”
“And you kissed me back.”
“And I kissed you back.”
“I’ve been in love with you for three years.”
“Jungkook,” Jimin whispers. His face relaxes, shoulders slumping, and he stares. He just stares and the fact he’s not saying he loves him back should kill Jungkook but his face says it all.
He loves him back.
He sees it now.
Jimin looks at him like he hung the stars, he looks at him like he’ll never love someone more than he loves Jungkook and he smiles at him like he’s never been more fond of a person in his life.
“I’m fucking in love with you, too,” Jimin finally says.
Time starts again. Everything falls into place, the world makes sense for the first time in three years.
Elation. That’s all Jungkook feels.
“You really couldn’t tell?” Jimin has the audacity to ask and it makes Jungkook laugh.
“What about you ? It was written all over my face, hyung!”
“It was written all over mine! I let you kiss me,” Jimin points at himself all agitated. He doesn’t look convincing with the smile on his face. “I never let anyone kiss me. For god’s sake, I told you I would wait for you to graduate before moving to Seoul. With you. I’m always all over you. What more did you want?”
“A confession would have been nice,” Jungkook says. Smirking, he walks into Jimin’s space and wraps his arms around his waist. “A flashing sign on your forehead would have clued me in, I think.”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
“You’re a bigger idiot.”
“This isn’t a competition.”
“Everything is a competition.”
“Just kiss me,” Jimin says as he wraps his arms around Jungkook’s neck.
Jungkook gives him a blinding smile. He’s never felt happier. He can’t believe he’s never seen it before, the way Jimin’s feelings for him really are written all over his face. He’s the biggest idiot for mistaking all the signs for friendship.
There’s so much they should talk about, so many things Jungkook hasn’t told Jimin yet but they’ve got time. They have forever if they wish. For now, Jungkook is going to hold Jimin and bask in their shared happiness.
“I love you,” Jungkook whispers against Jimin’s lips and Jimin strokes his cheek.
“I love you, too.”
“As a friend?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Jimin kisses him and Jungkook laughs into it, hugging Jimin the tightest he’s ever hugged him.
He’s never, ever letting him go.