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Why'd You Bring That?

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My history with mirrors is a mixed one. When young,
I hated them, not knowing how to recognize myself
In the girl who looked back at me. I longed to see
Her with her wife, arms around each other. With each
Woman I entangled myself with, I imagined leaning
Back against her, perhaps looking out a window.

The years passed, and as I had more of my own
Money, and more of my own say in my own clothes,
I found a happy medium between clothing that would
Allow me to do the things I love to do--walk, ride, shoot,
Climb walls if I have to--and be with the people I prefer
To spend time with, educated ladies of good conversation,

Who inevitably expect a certain bowing to conventions,
Compromise. It took me years and a good dressmaker,
But I found my place. But today, readying to travel,
I throw on my greatcoat and find myself confronting
Myself. After all the women come and gone, I wonder
Just who this woman is, so bold, and still so alone...