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Why'd You Bring That?

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When he appeared at the kitchen door, all shiny
And handsome, I nearly dropped the flour-covered
Wooden spoon. And then he said that he would be
Miss Lister's new groom, and yes, he's too young
For me, of course, but it warmed my loins,
And when was the last time that happened?

So I showed him into the dining room and then
Hung back in the hallway to watch the sisters
React to him. Surely, I thought, even Miss Lister
Will be charmed by such a dapper fellow. But
No. I think she found her toast more charming
As she listed a tour of Europe that sounded

Downright exhausting. Maybe in my younger
Years, I'd have looked at it as simply one more
Rousing adventure, especially with a man
Like that to distract me from all the ladies
She would undoubtedly attract. And speaking
Of attraction, I notice that Miss Marian

Has lost track of her toast, gazing fondly
At the young man's slightly bulging pants
So that Miss Lister must rap with the knife
To get her to pass the butter. Her elder
Never bothers to look him in the eye
As she speaks, much less his manly crotch.