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I had a dream (I got everything I wanted)

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When Adora woke up on Sunday, light spilling through the blinds since they hadn’t drawn their black-out curtains, Adora was almost certain she had dreamed all of last night. The entire world seemed to be brighter though, and as unbelievable as it all was, Catra was still naked curled up next to her as proof.

 

So, that had all really happened.

 

Catra was her girlfriend. Which was hands down the most unbelievable thing that has and would probably ever happen to her. 

 

But that meant she was Catra’s girlfriend which was decidedly a lot less exciting because she had no idea what she was doing.

 

Last night had been a miracle. 

 

The only problem was, Adora’s life did not set her up to handle miracles. She had been prepared to fix things. She had been prepared to figure out how to live in a world where the only person she had ever loved did not love her back. She had been prepared to live in that world for years.

 

But as she sat on the edge of their bed, staring at the sunbeams on Catra’s freckled cheek, she was very clearly not in that world. And she was very clearly out of her depth.

 

Adora tried and failed to keep the anxiety that was taking shape inside her at bay but she couldn’t. She had no idea what she was doing, and she had no idea how to figure out what to do either. She needed time to think to figure out—

 

“You’re thinking so loud,” Catra grumbled next to her, one blue eye cracking open to peer up at her. Adora felt her own eyes widen at the sound of her voice, thick with sleep.

 

“How did you—” Adora started, and Catra rolled on her back then, her other eye open now too, a sleepy smile playing on her lips.

 

“Years of practice.” She said, grabbing Adora’s wrist to tug her down next to her. Adora flopped back down next to her and Catra wasted no time straddling her hips, bending down to press lazy kisses to Adora’s neck.

 

“It is the morning after Princess. Sunday for God’s sake. Sundays are for morning sex and takeout. Not thinking.” Catra mumbled, her kisses growing hotter until she was sucking a bruise into the flesh on Adora’s neck. She couldn’t help letting out a low moan at that. 

 

“But Catra—” Adora started, but Catra continued to kiss at her throat, nipping and sucking at what Adora knew would turn into hickies. More proof. That thought sent a thrill through her. Anything she was going to say was forgotten and all she could think about was Catra’s mouth on her skin, hot and making her breathless. She wanted her everywhere.

 

Catra kissed up her throat, leaving a small kiss on her chin, on each corner of her mouth, and finally her lips. Adora groaned at the contact, idly wondering how she was even able to even breathe before this. Catra licked into her mouth and it should have been gross because neither of them had even brushed their teeth yet but it wasn’t. She was sure she could spend entire days like this, in and out of each other's mouths, her head fuzzy except for the demand for more more more. The kiss grew frantic as Catra tangled her hands into Adora’s hair and Adora kept letting out small whimpers, already so turned on that she could feel the wetness on the inside of her thighs.

 

Catra pulled back panting, her eyes glowing in the sunshine as she looked into Adora’s. When she spoke her voice was rough with desire and it made Adora feel like she was turning into a puddle.

 

“I’m going to fuck you now, okay, Princess? Then we’re going to make breakfast.” Catra grinned, smile wicked and loaded with promise. Adora could only nod weakly, already so far gone as Catra winked and begin to press kisses down the middle of her chest.

 

She wasted no time palming one of her tits and taking the other in her mouth, her tongue circling over Adora’s sensitive flesh, nipping with her teeth.

 

“Fuck, Catra,’ Adora gasped, the sensation shooting straight to her clit. It was kind of pathetic, really. For all her years of holding back all it took was one night of what she was missing to turn her into putty in Catra’s capable hands. It was why she never gave herself even an inch of leeway in all the time she spent loving Catra in secret. Her feelings had lived on the edges of her mind and she couldn’t help that they colored every day and every word shared between them, but she gave herself limits. She never let herself imagine actually getting to be with her. Fantasy was dangerous, and she had been barely holding on as it was. 

 

On particularly hard days, when Catra was extra touchy, or she did something achingly sweet and domestic like make her lunch when she got home in the evening for Adora to find in the morning, she would look back at some of their best memories. Her and Catra eating chocolate cake after her soccer practice in secret with their bare hands on her twelfth birthday when Hope had decided she was too old to make a big deal about her birthday anymore. Summer days spent eating popsicles under the big tree in Adora’s front yard, reading the jokes from their Popsicle sticks, and giggling despite how bad they were, their sticky red fingers tangled together.

 

She would remind herself that what they had was  good . What they had was so much more than some people ever got. And sure, she had wanted more, but it was not wanting intending to have. It was a helpless kind of desire. She didn’t secretly fantasize about their wedding. She didn’t imagine getting to kiss her lips or take her on dates. She just  wanted . Aimlessly, helplessly, and completely against her will. She was not prepared for dreams she never really even allowed herself to have to come true. This is why she was here, in the middle of this new thing they have, completely at a loss of what to do or how to act.

 

“I don’t want you to think Adora,” Catra whispers, her soft hands running down Adora’s sides to grip her hips.

 

“I want you to feel,” Catra whispers, her tongue licking a long line down from between her breast to the planes of Adora’s firm stomach. 

 

“How does it feel Adora?” Adora’s back starts to arch off the mattress but Catra keeps her still, her hands holding her hips to the mattress.

 

“Good, so good Catra” Adora breathed, tiny gasps the only sounds she could make as Catra got closer and closer to the place she wanted her to be and her thoughts got farther and farther away.

 

Catra took her time on Adora’s stomach, her tongue licking over her ab muscles almost reverently, groaning until she was kissing right above Adora’s curls. When she reached her slit, her breath ghosted over her slick making Adora’s flesh break out in goosebumps and throb in anticipation.

 

“Don’t tease,” Adora whined. She was so worked up and Catra knew it. Catra looked up at her through her lashes, her mismatched eyes full of desire as she licked one clean line up her slit.

 

“Fuck,” Adora swore, and Catra only chuckled, her raspy voice cocky and taunting.

 

“What was that about teasing?” She said before dipping back down, flattening her tongue against Adora’s clit, and using her lips to suck her into her mouth. If Adora thought she was going to die from Catra using her fingers, she was certainly going to from Catra using her mouth.

 

Catra continued to work her over, her tongue moving deftly through Adora’s folds. A spring was beginning to coil in the pit of Adora’s stomach. Adora fisted her hand in the sheets as the heat began to rise, her whole body felt like it was pulsing and her moans grew higher and higher in pitch. 

 

Catra spread Adora’s legs further apart, gripping her thighs as she continued the attention on her clit, dipping lower to swirl around her entrance. Adora’s hips were bucking on their own accord and she reached down to thread her fingers through Catra’s long hair before stopping in her tracks like she’d been stung, dropping her hand back to the mattress to fist into the sheets. She was worked up to a fever pitch and she didn’t want to hurt her by being too rough. 

 

Catra stopped and looked up from between Adora’s legs.

 

“I don’t want you to hold back, baby. I can take it. Use me.” She said, her voice rough, Adora’s slick covering her lips and chin. Adora moaned at that and Catra bent down to continue. Adora’s hand shook as she tangled her hands in Catra’s hair this time, pushing Catra’s face further into her pussy. The change in pressure alone was almost enough to send her over the edge.

 

Catra groaned at the movement letting herself be led as Adora thrust up to meet every movement of Catra’s tongue, fucking her face. When she came, her entire body trembled with her release, short gasps escaping with a string of curses.

 

“Fuck—yes, Catra, fuck.” Adora panted, her body felt like it was buzzing, every cell energized and blissfully alive.

 

“You’re so good at that.” Adora groaned, flopping her head back onto her pillow as Catra left small kisses on the inside of her thighs

 

She laughed at that. “I aim to please, Princess.”

 

“You can’t just give me an orgasm every time I freak out though,” Adora replied, still a little out of breath because holy shit, was every time they had sex going to be that good? Surely there had to be some kind of upper limit to how good this could get.

 

Catra scoffed at that looking almost offended that Adora would say such a thing “And why the hell not?” She said, one of her perfect eyebrows arched in question.

 

Adora didn’t have an answer for that so she tugged Catra up instead and kissed her, tasting herself on her lips as Catra hummed into her mouth. They kiss for a while, hands roaming lazily over each other, savoring the softness between them. It felt natural to be like this and even though less than twenty-four hours ago this wouldn’t have even been an option, it felt like they had been doing it for years. Adora waited for it to feel awkward or forced, a sure sign that they had been moving too fast, or that Catra was unsure but it never came. They fit together in this new way, just like they always had, and that was as scary as it was comforting. 

 

“Come on, we need to eat,” Catra said getting up and walking over to their shared closet. She threw over some of Adora’s old sweatpants and her Brightmoon U shirt while she tugged on a pair of Adora’s shorts that she had to roll at the waist to make fit and one of her hoodies. 

 

In the kitchen, they were a motion of perfectly synchronized motions. They didn’t talk much but moved around each other in harmony. Catra making eggs, sunny side up like Adora liked, and over medium for herself while Adora toasted slices of bread and took out the butter. Adora could think of dozens of Sundays they had shared just like this. That was the part that left Adora so confused, everything had changed, but also nothing had. 

 

She could be honest now. She didn’t have to hide the fact that she was staring at Catra while she ate, lingering on her freckles, her full lips, the way her frame was swimming in Adora’s hoodie. If she wanted to, she could tell Catra she was beautiful. She could tell her that she loved her nose, how long her lashes were, the delicate swoop of her neck. Catra would smile, call her an idiot, maybe even blush the way that made Adora feel smug and smitten all at once. 

 

On the other hand, everything else remained the same. They always made breakfast together on the weekends. They also often stayed home together, catching up on homework or watching movies, and eventually fighting over who had to Door Dash dinner. 

 

Adora felt lost in it, the sameness and the differences. She didn’t feel nervous, this felt right and natural, but she felt like she should feel nervous and it was fucking with her. 

Catra looked at her now, chewing the last bite of her toast, her eyes smiling and Adora decided she had time to worry about this. If the other shoe was going to drop it wasn’t going to drop today. She could have today.

 

“So, what do you want to do?’ Catra asked, looking up at Adora now. She smiled back 

 

“Be with you,” Adora said simply and now Catra was smiling too.

 

They spent most of the day in bed. Adora reluctantly dragged her laptop with them and finished some of her non-negotiable homework that was due the next day, and Catra read next to her, eventually grabbing her sketchbook and sketching a little next to her, their legs tangled together. They sneak glances at each other full of awe and brimming with affection. When Adora finally finishes her work, she turns to Catra who still has her head down in her sketchbook.

 

“Do you remember Mermista’s party senior year?” Adora says, Catra looks up at her now curiously and after a short bit nods.

 

“And when Kyle threw up all over Mermista’s couch because he drank those two beers too fast so you and I went outside on the deck because we could smell the beer and the throw and it almost made you throw up?” Adora asks and Catra snorts, laughing at the memory.

 

“Yeah. Mermista was pissed and Glimmer almost killed him because he got some of it on her jacket.” Adora laughed now too and Catra waits for her to continue.

 

“I almost told you then. We were both laughing and I couldn’t think about anything else except for the fact that I wanted to do that for the rest of our lives. But I got so scared when I thought about having to actually say it to you. I always did.” Adora finished quietly and Catra looks at her now with soft eyes. She searches Adora’s eyes with her own now. Adora’s not sure what she’s looking for but she finds it as she looks over at her and says,

 

“Do you remember when I couldn’t draw hands? I was so fucking bad at first. The fingers were always so far apart, or the thumbs would always turn out weird. I never got better at them until I started drawing yours. I drew them over and over until I memorized them. I couldn’t stop thinking about them after that.” Catra replies. Adora can’t help but gasp quietly at that. Catra started drawing the summer before she turned fourteen. She remembers how frustrated Catra had been about learning to draw hands, opting to just skip them altogether. She also knew that by Thanksgiving break she was more confident, proudly displaying her first full portrait, hands and all. What she hadn’t known was she had practiced and gotten that confidence drawing Adora’s own hands. Over and over replays in her head.

 

Adora knows what this is. Show me yours and I’ll show you mine. She had hidden so much over the years, stuffed things down, talked around the truth. Catra is letting her know that she did it too.

 

One of the worst parts, before they were together, is how alone Adora felt. She spent so much time stuck in her head. Not saying everything she wanted to say. Not being too much. But she was never alone because Catra had the same secret. They were together there in the dark, even if they didn’t know it.

 

Adora kisses her then, long and deep, her tongue tracing the seam of her lips and Catra eagerly meeting her with her own, moaning into the kiss. The kiss holds everything that Adora couldn’t say to her then. Every hug she pulled away from quicker than she wanted to because she didn’t want to do something stupid. Every time she tried not to stare too long when Catra was sitting across from her. Every time she wanted to say I love you. They kiss until they were both gasping, hazy and drunk off each other's lips.

 

“I love you, so much,” Adora whispered, her palm still cupping her cheek.

 

“I love you too, Adora.” Catra echoes.


Monday is weird. Adora try as she might is unable to focus on anything. She is scattered and antsy in her classes, feeling the urge to  move . She tries to listen and pay attention to what’s going on around her but it’s so bad by the time she reaches the end of her day she bashes her knee into the underside of the desk she is sitting at. There is an uneasiness that she can’t shake. The same anxiety that started to form Sunday in the pit of her stomach rising to the middle of her throat making it hard to swallow or think.

 

She feels untethered, her thoughts jumbled, formless, and anxious. She just doesn’t know why.

 

Last night had been good. Catra had always been good at knowing when Adora was on the edge of losing herself, spiraling into the bad place her mind tried to take her when she was anxious about something. She had distracted her with her touch, grounding her into what they had now, reminding her that it wasn’t going anywhere. That  she  wasn’t going anywhere. 

 

Yet.

 

Too many years had passed for Adora to believe that she would ever have to live without Catra. She knew that she would never really abandon her, that the foundation of what they had built over their lives was too solid to ever crumble completely. Since they were five years old, they had never gone more than two weeks without talking, and those two weeks had felt like centuries. 

 

It had been the biggest fight they had ever gotten in when they were fifteen, and it ended with Catra on her doorstep, tears in her eyes, Adora pulling her in, and then they were both crying into each other's shoulders. They never said apologized but they didn’t need to.

 

Logically she knew that even if they did break up, they would be okay. It would be awkward, messy even, but they would bounce back, too important to the other to ever really live without each other. She was confident their relationship could survive it.

 

She was not confident that she herself could survive it.

 

That was the problem with getting everything you had ever wanted. You could lose it.

 

Now that she had gotten to gave Catra like this, nothing else would ever be enough. She would be just her friend if she had to because the thought of living a life without her in it was impossible— too devastating to even imagine, but it would destroy her and she knew it.

 

There would be no moving on. Adora hated how dramatic that sounded even in her own head, but it was the truth and the center of all the thoughts she had been trying to chase away since they had kissed. That had been the entire reason she had hidden it in the first place. To have her, and then lose her would not be remedied by a few weeks of crying and wallowing in her bed, It would not just be heartbreak, and there would be no getting over it. There was no one else, and there never would be, Adora was sure of that.

 

The floodgates were open, and to say it terrified Adora was an understatement. She had kissed her now and memorized the slide of their lips together, she had seen what she looked like when she came apart underneath her gasping and saying her name. She knew what it felt like to finally tell the truth.

 

No, there would be no getting over it if this didn’t work out.

 

It was also too late to go back now. That was even more terrifying.

 

Adora shouldn’t have even bothered with today. She hadn’t absorbed any of the material. She was lost in her thoughts, spiraling at an alarming rate, and she knew what was next. She couldn’t see Catra like this because she knew if she did Catra would drop everything to try to help her work through this but she didn’t want her to witness whatever the fuck was happening to her.

 

She could try to handle it herself, but her head was swimming, and nothing was making any sense anymore. The panic was growing and so she did the only thing she could think to do. She pulled out her phone and opened her messages, clicking on Glimmer’s name.

 

Glimmer  🧚🏼💗♐️:

Are you free right now?

 

Within ten minutes Glimmer met her on the bench in front of the humanities building, her usual enthusiasm dulling a bit when Adora finally looked up from her hands to meet her eyes. Glimmer’s smile wavered as she took in her expression, her eyes soft and concerned as she sat down next to her.

 

“Adora?” She questioned, looking up at her. Adora was  not  going to cry. She was so fucking sick of crying. 

 

I guess there was no point in beating around the bush. “Catra and I—well,—we” Adora stumbled, where should she even start? They were in love? Did Glimmer already know that part? They were together? They spent the better part of the weekend inside or underneath each other?

 

She doesn’t say any of that though and instead settles for,

 

“We kissed.” She says simply, quietly. Saying it to another person is different than she thought it would be. She has been a bubble since Saturday, she hadn’t thought what it would be like to talk to anyone else about this but as soon as it is out of her mouth it is a relief. Someone else can hold it with her. Glimmer doesn’t look shocked exactly, but her eyebrows do raise.

 

“Oh—okay, wow, so have you guys talked about it?” She asks gently, tentatively.

 

“We’ve done more than talk about it,” Adora mumble before she can stop herself. When she realizes what she said heat rises to her cheeks and Glimmer’s smile is shit-eating.

 

“Oh my God, you guys had sex? Adora—holy shit! Was it good? What am I saying, I know it was good, I mean it’s Catra!” Glimmer exclaims practically bouncing with her excitement and Adora can’t help but roll her eyes at that because it’s no secret that Glimmer thought Catra was hot and I mean who could blame her? It was harmless and mostly hilarious because Catra definitely flirted with her to make her flustered. Now that she has said that out loud she was not getting out of talking about it at some point. Luckily now is not that moment because Glimmer sobers a bit and continues.

 

“So was it a one-time thing or?” Glimmer asks tentatively again, trying to figure out where the line is and Adora shakes her head at that.

 

“No. I’m in love with her. I have been since, well, forever,” Adora says plainly “She uh, said she loves me too.” Adora says more quietly. “We’re together now.” She finishes and Glimmer is smiling again, the tips of her pink hair practically shimmering with her joy.

 

“So let me get this straight, your life is a lesbian rom-com, you are well fucked, your best friend that you are in love with loves you back— why are we not celebrating? We should be baking a cake. I’m going to bake a cake!” She exclaims and Adora can’t help laugh a little at that. She doesn’t know how to answer Glimmer’s question. It sounds  stupid  to say she is afraid because the word doesn’t feel big enough for everything she feels, and how much this is consuming her and threatening to ruin everything. She asks another question instead.

 

“Did you know? That I was in love with her?” Adora asks slowly because she is curious. Had she been as obvious as she always felt like she was?

 

“I had my suspicions. Bow called it in high school. Then on Saturday when she ran off I knew he was at least right about half of it. She was definitely in love with you. I didn’t think you were a good enough actress to pull that off but,” Glimmer shrugs and Adora nods. She wasn’t that good of an actress, she had just buried it so deep inside of herself that it was clearly undetectable if you didn’t know what you were looking for. 

 

Adora did though, and each one of her own mistakes labeled themselves in bold. She had always felt like she was seconds away from slipping, saying, or doing something too obvious to come back from. She didn’t want anyone to figure it out obviously, but Glimmer who was one of her best friends and fairly observant in her own right had never noticed, and neither had Catra. Adora should’ve been thrilled by that but for some reason, she wasn’t.

 

She was not proud that despite getting out and rebelling in her own tiny ways through the years she spent with Hope, she remained loyal to what she had been taught. She hid, she shrunk, she pretended she didn’t feel things when she did, and she’d been doing it for years. It made her sick to her stomach now thinking what it had almost cost her.

 

They are quiet for a while. Glimmer giving her space to collect her thoughts but Adora doesn’t know what to say now. She doesn’t have the words to explain what she is afraid of. That Catra will change her mind? That Glimmer was right, their relationship  was  a cliche? Two childhood best friends who eventually fall in love. Maybe this had been inevitable, a natural progression, a phase.

 

The part in the movie where the best friends think they love each other, try to be together and realize eventually that they are better off as just friends, parting ways and eventually attending each other's weddings, the time they dated just a funny memory to tell during the toast.

 

Adora was sure though, that for her, this wasn’t a phase. This was the truest, bravest, and scariest thing she’d ever done or let herself feel.

 

“What if she changes her mind?” Adora manages to finally ask quietly. The knot in her stomach tightens now that it is finally out in the open. Glimmer considers it before she answers, her eyes full of understanding.

 

“You don’t trust her.” Glimmer says without blame, just matter of factly. Adora feels herself of bristle at that because what does trust have anything to do with this? Of course, she trusted Catra!

 

“Of course I do, Glim, that’s not what this is about—“ she starts but Glimmer interrupts her again, her voice still even.

 

“But you don’t. You confessed your love, which was a huge deal for you, I know how hard that must have been. But she also confessed hers. Why do you think that’s somehow less of a big deal for her?” Glimmer asks.

 

Adora doesn’t even want to consider what Glimmer is insinuating at first. But Glimmer is quiet again, giving Adora space to think and to process until she realizes much to her horror, Glimmer is right. Glimmer must see the realization cross her face and she continues.

 

“If I know you, and I do, you probably think you don’t deserve this. I struggled with the same thing with Bow. He is so  good  Adora. Kind, honest, strong, and always willing to be vulnerable. I have a temper, and I’m too fucking stubborn for my own good, and sometimes I push people away. Even now, I still don’t know if I deserve him. But maybe deserve isn’t the point. Bow knows me and loves me for me, and he chose me. It’s his choice, and it isn’t my job to question it. It’s my job to show up and love him as much as I can and choose him right back.” Glimmer says and Adora feels it all click into place. 

 

Every time she imagined Catra pushing her away or one day deciding that she was mistaken, that they were just close and she got confused, she doubted Catra. She assumed she knew how Catra felt more than she did. 

 

It was invalidating. It took away her agency and worst of all when she thought about backtracking to retreat to the safe space of pining hopelessly from afar, It took away her choice

 

Catra was smart. The smartest person Adora had ever met, and not just in the way that she outshined her peers almost effortlessly, but in an emotional way too. She understood people within a couple of minutes of knowing them. She could read them and their intentions and always pointed out when someone seemed to have bad motives. She was an excellent judge of character and she didn’t bullshit. You never had to guess where you stood with Catra. She said what she meant, and you knew how she felt about you.

 

Catra had chosen Adora. Maybe Adora would never understand why, and maybe she would never truly feel like she deserved it either, but it is what Catra chose. And a part of loving someone was respecting their choices.

 

Maybe that fragile feeling would take time to go away. Maybe she would second guess herself for months to come every time she thought she was being too much. Maybe some days she would feel like she had to tiptoe between them, waiting for the ground beneath her to disintegrate and send her free-falling, but they had time. 

 

Catra had chosen Adora. 

 

And Adora didn’t get to argue or qualify or take it away just because she was terrified that someday Catra might make a different choice.

 

“You’re right,” Adora says with finality. She feels gross and  wrong  for doubting Catra and it must show on her face because then Glimmer sighs and says:

 

“You’re not a bad person for that Adora. I know your childhood was fucked up. And I know Hope made you feel like you had to doubt everyone’s intentions. It might take a while for you to feel like this new thing is here to stay but Adora, it can be. Good things can happen, and good things can stay. There isn’t always another shoe to drop. Sometimes dreams come true, and useless pining lesbians who are so meant to be its kind of sickening end up together and live happily ever after.” Glimmer smiles now and even though Adora has cried more these last couple of days than she has the rest of her life, her eyes still manage to well up at that. 

 

“I love you Glim, thank you.” She says pulling her into a hug as Glimmer laughs now.

 

“Anytime. I’m proud of you for texting.” Glimmer replies and Adora can’t help but beam at that a little because she knew she would be. It had taken a lot of work to get here, she used to hate asking for help feeling like a burden but Glimmer had always told her otherwise. It made things worse when Adora kept things to herself and eventually spiraled, her friends so worried at that point that they were near a panic attack too. She was doing her part as a good friend to ask for help when she needed it.

 

They chat for a little while longer and then Glimmer leaves here with one big hug and squeals of congratulation, practically bouncing with how happy she is for them. Adora feels like she can breathe again because it does not matter if she deserves this. It only matters that this is what Catra wants, and Catra deserves to have anything, everything, she wants. Even if that means Adora putting aside every thought that insists that she isn’t worth it, that she is being reckless, that things were safer before, none of it matters. 

 

All that matters is that she lets herself be all in and that she let every passing day act as proof that as Glimmer said, sometimes useless pining lesbians who are so meant to be its kind of sickening end up together and live happily ever after. 


When Adora gets in it is just after 7:00 and Catra is already home from her one class today. She is already moving things around in the kitchen, no doubt about to start dinner but Adora has other plans. She puts down her bag and keys and walks over to the kitchen to find Catra bent over, her head in the fridge muttering to herself about something they didn’t have. She is still wearing her jeans from that day and the way they cling tight to her strong thighs and curve perfectly against her ass is enough to make Adora’s mind go blank. Adora looks at her with wide eyes, lingering on every inch of her beautiful legs because she can, because Catra is her girlfriend now, and ogling her perfect legs is a part of the deal.

 

“Hey Adora, I was thinking we could have chicken, we have some shit we could have as sides, what do you think? ” Catra asks, turning around and closing the fridge when her eyes meet Adora’s.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that Princess?” She asks, smirking but clearly happy to see her. Adora crosses the room grinning and wordlessly pulls her into a kiss. Catra lets out a surprised noise against her mouth but matches her enthusiasm quickly. Adora kisses her deeply, running her tongue against her bottom lip and pushing into Catra’s waiting mouth. She doesn’t kiss Catra like she is fragile or like she will scare her away, she kisses her like she is hungry, because she is. She has been desperate for Catra and anything she would give her for so long and now that she is of that anymore, she is not going to hold back anymore. It is intense in a new way and she knows Catra feels it too because Catra keeps moaning into her mouth and her hands are in her hair tugging and sending delicious heat through Adora, that heat burning low in her belly.

 

When they finally pull apart Adora’s ponytail is ruined from Catra’s hands tangled in her hair and Catra’s lips are pink and swollen, both their chests heaving with their efforts. They stare at each other in a mutual daze until Catra finally smiles, huffing out a laugh.

 

“What was that for?” She asks and Adora laughs now too because maybe she could have waited before coming on so strong but she didn’t want to. Now that the messiness of her thoughts had been sorted through she feels kind of wild, unhinged, and completely unable to hold herself back anymore.

 

Adora was intense, she knew that, but Catra also knew that. And she loved her anyway.

 

Chose her anyway.

 

“I just missed you,” Adora says sweetly, and Catra still looks a little confused but accepts her answer with a shake of her head.

 

“Well, you can feel free to show me you miss me like that anytime.” Adora was hoping she’d say something like that. Without warning, she cups the back of Catra’s thighs and picks her up hoisting her onto their countertop. The squeak Catra lets out is so cute but also flustered.  When she looks at Catra, now eye level with her, she is flushed, her eyes darkening. Clearly, the display of strength is doing it for her. Adora files that away for later use.

 

“What are you doing?” Catra asks, clearly into it but still confused and Adora grins at her, sly and wanting.

 

“Showing you how much I missed you.” She says simply bending down to kiss her again. Adora starts slow art first, tugging Catra’s bottom lip between her own and grazing her teeth against it before she pushes her tongue against hers. The kiss has no trace of the hesitancy that was there on Saturday. The needy sounds Catra is making are new and Adora can feel a kind of power surge through her that makes her feel like she is 8 ft tall.

 

Catra has always commanded the attention of any room she walked in. Her aura exudes confidence, charm, and a nonchalance most people have to fake but comes naturally to her. She doesn’t have to try and she knows it and is ridiculously smug about it.

 

She had always gotten a kick out of teasing Adora long before they were ever doing this. She has always felt kind of at her mercy, a blushing and bumbling mess when Catra would so much as look at her too long. But now, with Catra falling apart underneath her, desperate for each touch, fucking mewling into her mouth, she feels confidence that she didn’t know she craved embolden her.

 

She pulls away only to start kissing down Catra’s jaw, trailing open-mouthed kisses down to her neck.

 

“Can I mark you?” Adora asks, her voice sounding rough and foreign with lust. Catra’s pupils are blown, her gaze unfocused and her lips parted but she manages to meet Adora’s gaze and nod.

 

Adora gets to work. She mouths at Catra’s neck, sucking bruises into the glorious exposed flesh in front of her. Catra cranes her neck to give her more access and the show of  trust  turns Adora on more than it has a right to. Every time she grazes her teeth against her, Catra makes choked sounds that make Adora weak in the knees.

 

When she pulls away to admire her work, Catra’s neck is littered with red and purple marks and she looks wrecked, her eyes are wide staring into Adora’s as she catches her breath.

 

“You’ve been holding out on me.” She heaves out and Adora laughs a little at that because, yeah, maybe she has been. She had been stuck in her head, terrified that at the first wrong move everything would fall apart. Her touches were cautious and timid. She had touched Catra like she was fragile, both terrified and luxuriating in each second of what felt like borrowed time.

 

Looking at Catra now though, she understands exactly what Glimmer had meant. Catra was just as exposed as her, raw and hopeful and laid bare. She deserved to never have a doubt in her mind about how much Adora loved her especially doubts Adora might have put there with her insecurities. 

 

She deserved to feel as wanted as she was. She deserved to be worshipped. 

 

And worship she would, every day, as long as Catra would let her.

 

“Yeah, I was, but never again,” Adora promises, and Catra seems taken aback by the honesty, almost shy under her admission.

 

“Promise?” Catra whispers and Adora’s heart shatters into pieces because she help put that doubt there. She knew spiraling would not help either of them right now but God she was an idiot sometimes.

 

“I promise. Did you— Did you not think I was sure about this, Catra?” Adora asks because she has to know. Catra flinches a little at the question and before she even says anything Adora knows the answer.

 

Catra hesitates before giving her a small shrug.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Catra says small and yeah, Adora really hates that she’s the reason she sounds like this.

 

“I’m sure, Catra. I want to show you. Can I show you?” Adora returns, her eyes determined 

 

“Yes.” Catra whispers

 

Adora wastes no time pulling Catra’s shirt over her head and thanks any God that might be listening for Catra’s aversion to bras. She kisses each of her collarbones, the middle of her throat until she reaches the valley of her breasts. She wastes no time taking a nipple into her mouth, this time using a bit of teeth. Clearly, it was the right move because Catra’s breath stutters at the movement, her blunt nails digging into Adora’s back. She continues to tease at her chest, drawing downright filthy sounds from Catra until she is begging.

 

“Fuck—please, Adora, Please,” She moans and Adora can’t help but smirk at that because she can count on her hands the number of times she has heard Catra say please but here she was spilling it forth so sweetly.

 

Adora wants to savor this moment before she gives in, so she’s an asshole a little longer.

 

“Please what, baby?” She asks smug and taunting and Catra only moans at that, her eyes opening to look into hers.

 

“Fuck me, make me come.” She whines and Adora who fully planned on teasing her a little while longer gives in because how could she not after that?

 

She pulls Catra’s jeans and underwear down in one swift motion and cups Catra between her legs, running her fingers up and down Catra’s slit. She is soaked and slick is covering half of Adora’s hand before she has even really touched her yet. Adora has to bite back her own moan as she works Catra’s pussy.

 

“You’re so fucking wet for me,” she says roughly, her fingertips rubbing tight circles on Catra’s swollen clit. Adora has never been more grateful that they don’t have other roommates because Catra is not quiet and she does not want her to be, she savors every single stutter, moan, and whimper.

 

“Inside, Adora. Please” Catra begs and Adora nods because she wants to be inside her just as badly. She traces her entrance and thinks about warming her up with just one finger first but with how wet she is, she knows she can take two. She goes slowly at first, circling until she pushes two of her fingers inside Catra’s wet heat. They both groan at the contact. She goes slow at first, not wanting to hurt her, but the way Catra is writhing underneath her and the way she clutches to Adora’s back tells her that she is ready for more. She starts to thrust into her with earnest, crooking her fingers to put pressure on the spot inside her that sent her over the edge every time.

 

“Fuck yes— you are so good at this Princess” She pants out and the praise spurs her on. Getting to fuck Catra was mesmerizing. Watching her lose the layer of cool facade she wore that kept her mostly aloof dissolve and turn her into a needy and wanting mess struck her dumb.

 

“You are so beautiful like this” Adora says to her and Catra’s answering moan is her only warning before she clenches around Adora’s fingers. Adora keeps her movements steady as she works her through it, and Catra takes some time to come back to herself. When Adora finally pulls out of her she notices her hand feels a lot wetter than normal and looks down between them.

 

Her entire hand is soaked, and there is a small puddle on the countertop beneath them. Both of their eyes shoot up to each other and Catra’s cheeks are pink both with their exertion and what looks like embarrassment.

 

She made Catra squirt.

 

She made Catra squirt.

 

Before Catra could apologize or even think that this was anything but unbelievably, stupidly erotic, and probably one of the proudest moments of Adora’s life, she smiles wide at Catra.

 

“You are so fucking hot,” She says and Catra laughs at that, some of the worry leaving her expression.

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah it’s your fault, Princess.” She grumbles and it's Adora’s turn to laugh.

 

“My fault? Yeah, I guess so.” Adora says smugly.

 

“Who knew getting fucked on the kitchen counter would do it for you.” She shrugs and feigns nonchalance and Catra rolls her eyes at that, exasperated but still not able to keep the fondness out of her voice.

 

“Blonde idiots with muscles and fingers that make me see God do it for me. Looks like you’re in luck Princess.” She says smiling and Adora can’t help but smile right back at her.

 

She was lucky indeed.

 

They clean up eventually and even manage to make dinner. Catra eats on her lap as they curl up on the couch and it is a perfect night. There is a voice in the back of Adora’s head that whispers that this too good to be true but it is quieter now, and she knows it will only get quieter until one day it is gone. She chooses to be here, stupidly in love with Catra and so happy she feels like she could burst, no matter how convincing it sounds.

 

She’ll choose this over and over, always.


True to Glimmer's word, she bakes them a cake. That next Saturday Glimmer, Bow, and Mermista come over cake in tow. Both her and Bow are smiling brightly and Mermista is even wearing a happier scowl than normal.

 

“I’m glad your jealous ass got your shit together,” She says to Catra and Catra barks out a laugh because that’s as close to being nice that Mermista is going to get.

 

“It took me all day to bake this fucking cake, so you are both going to act like it is the best thing you have ever seen, okay?” Glimmer says, clutching the serving knife and glaring between her and Adora. Adora nods dutifully and Catra rolls her eyes and motions her to get on with it.

 

When Glimmer lifts the top of the box she put the cake in, Adora can’t help but laugh.

 

There in hot pink frosting is written: “It’s about damn time”. 

 

Glimmer's grin is wide and Bow is bouncing on his heels as they look at their reactions.

 

“Bow did the writing.” Glimmer says and Bow nods excitedly.

 

“I have been waiting for this moment since high school. HIGH SCHOOL. Do you know how hard it was to not say anything?” He says a little manically and Adora nods sympathetically because yeah, having a front-row seat to how useless they both were must have been rough. 

 

“Yeah. Catra’s been simping since ninth fucking grade and Grayskull is so clueless I honestly thought it might take longer.” Mermista says exasperated and Catra’s mouth drops.

 

 “I was not simping!” Catra exclaims loudly and Mermista and Glimmer both groan and roll their eyes at that.

 

“Remember when Lonnie asked Adora to go to prom and instead of saying no right away because Adora hates to reject anyone she said she would think about it and you pouted for three whole days until she finally said no?” Glimmer asks smug and Adora’s eyes widen at that. Had she been pouting? Adora didn’t even remember she just remembered how awful she felt turning Lonnie down. They were good friends, and Lonnie was great, but she never saw anyone like that except for Catra.

 

“I did not fucking pout.” She spits, cheeks blazing.

 

“You subtweeted about it for a week.” Mermista deadpans and Bow joins in with Glimmer's laughter now.

 

“Okay fine, I get it, I was fucking hopeless I know.” She says finally and Adora kisses her cheek.

 

“I was just as pathetic. I cried for a week when Scorpia told me she liked you junior year and asked for my “best friend approval” because I was sure you liked her back. I was just better at hiding it.” She rushes out, embarrassed but, they are both embarrassing and hopeless together.

 

Catra looks shocked at the new information and looks at her with soft eyes.

 

“It was always you though.” She says and Adora practically melts.

 

“I know. It was always you too.” She says back fervently. They are broken out of their reverie by Mermista pretending to gag. Adora looks at her friends, Bow practically with hearts in his eyes as he stares between them, Glimmer softly smiling, and Mermista who looks disgusted but still fond.

 

“Well, I’m glad you guys are finally using the one brain cell you share. Now can we cut the fucking cake?” Mermista huffs and Glimmer practically skips over to do the honors.

 

When she cuts into the cake it becomes clear why this took Glimmer all day to do. On the inside, each one of the three layers of the cake is the color of the lesbian flag because it’s Glimmer and she doesn’t do anything halfway.

 

“I burnt two whole cakes before this. And it was so hard to get the orange orange.” Glimmer huffs but looks down tenderly at her creation.

 

Adora is touched by it. Her friends are here and they are happy for her, and in moments like this Adora knows the work to feel like she deserves this is worth it. She is so loved and she feels it.

 

“You are so fucking corny Sparkles,” Catra says grimacing which is Catra for she is also touched by this.

 

“I know.” Glimmer beams “And you’re welcome.” She says beaming.

 

“Yeah, yeah, thank you. This is actually really nice.” Catra says grumbling

 

“Aww, Catra!” Bow exclaims and immediately Catra is frowning again.

 

“Don’t make it weird.” She replies but it is too late and Bow is pulling them into a group hug. Catra curses under her breath but goes willingly as Bow embraces them both.

 

The fears weren’t going to go away overnight, but they didn’t need to, because they had their whole lives to get used to dream after dream coming true.