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Only Little Deaths

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He doesn’t remember being this nervous in a long time and honestly it was a bit unsettling. It made him feel younger than his years and like he was waiting to be ridiculed.

A part of him thinks that it shouldn’t matter. That by definition, this was a sure thing. Except then it brought all sort of guilt and insecurities as he’s never done this before and wasn’t sure what would be expected of him.

He’s been alone with Joe before, each and every time had been wonderfully pleasant and exceedingly chaste but their date tonight would be different.

Joe had sent him a picture of negative test results and ended their conversation with an “I’m looking forward to tonight” and a promise in his voice that lit a fire in Nicky’s veins which led to one very cold shower and two existential crises.

The first because he’d never been able to get further than uncoordinated and sloppy adolescent blow jobs and holding on to 40 years with such little experience made him feel like he missed his chance, and the second because what if he was so bad at sex that Joe decided this arrangement just wasn’t worth it and never spoke to him again despite the provisions that Nicky could give him.

But it wasn’t as if they hadn’t spoken about it. Joe was aware of his lack of sexual experience, it was one of the very first things that they discussed, so his expectations of Nicky surely had to be something realistic and not something doomed to fail.


The doorbell echoed throughout the condo which meant the time for panic was over.

Nicky took a deep breath to settle his thoughts and slid a shaking a hand through the long strands of his hair to brush them from his face as he stood up.

His heart was pounding and he wiped his palms on his jeans as he walked to rid the evidence of nervous sweating before he could reach the door.

Joe was on the other side as gorgeous as always and watching his eyes shine and his smile glow, Nicky is once again reminded how lucky he is that the younger man is indulging his attention.

“Hello Joe,” Nicky says with Joe’s infectious smile spreading to his and stepping aside to let the younger man in.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait long” Joe answers in greeting and lays a kiss at the corner of his mouth as he steps out of the way of the door. It catches Nicky by surprise even though the man’s been doing so for the past few weeks of their interactions.

Joe was very tactile, and Nicky spent most of his adult years, and teen years honestly, being a solitary type of person and unused to such casual touches. It made his chest heat up from the show of affection and left a yearning for more that, even though he knew Joe wouldn’t mind indulging him, he wasn’t quite sure how to ask for.

“Not at all” Nicky answers once he’s closed the door and is able to get a good look at the other man underneath much more flattering lights.

He often had to remind himself to keep from staring when they were together but it wasn’t something that he could help. Joe with his luscious curls, expressive eyes, and gorgeous smile, framed by that sharp jaw was a sight to behold. He was also built like every filthy fantasy Nicky’s ever had which really made him conscious of his wandering gaze and tried to give the other as much space as possible.

“You look great” Nicky says because anything else would reveal too much of his thoughts and he desperately wanted this thing with Joe to work out for both of their sakes.

“Thank you,” Joe says and does a show of pulling at the lapels of the jacket to show the shirt beneath, “This is the shirt that you picked out” he finishes with a grin and Nicky squashes down the flare of possession that runs through him for what he hopes is a pleased smile.

He really was trying his best to not be a creepy old man around the college student but Joe sometimes made it difficult, especially when he didn’t understand the concept of personal space.

Like now, when the younger man steps within his bubble and reaches for his hand. Nicky’s still working on calming his mind so he panics, turns and pretends to not have notice the gesture.

“Are you hungry, do you want something to eat?” He asks awkwardly, and starts a hurried pace into the kitchen that leaves the other trailing behind him. “I cooked something small” he says and it’s an absolute lie because he definitely dug into his family box of recipes in hopes of impressing the younger man.

“I’m not hungry” Joe says from behind him, grabbing his wrist to stop his fleeing to the stove and forcing him to turn and face him.

The grip is firm enough that Nicky’s visibly surprised at the show of strength, and it causes him to stutter the next words, too mindful of the other man’s digits applying a scorching heat into the tender area of his inner wrist.

“Would you like something to drink? I have wine” Nicky tries again and he’s taking deep swallows to moisten his suddenly parched throat as the heat spreads through him from Joe’s thumb stroking back and forth across his pulse.

“No. Thank you.” Joe says with a pause and there’s a knowing smile on his lips that travels to his beautiful eyes like a twinkle and Nicky thinks that this situation is getting away from him very quickly and he is even less prepared for this night than he initially thought.

His stomach is in knots and he has the feeling that this is where he’s suppose to take the leap and ask the other man into his bed. He’s conflicted on whether this is supposed to be with a kiss or a touch and decides instead to be direct as that’s always been his greatest strength.

“Do you want,” Nicky starts then halts when the hand circling his wrist gives a gentle squeeze, “I just want you” Joe finishes, sliding into his space until there is none left between them.

Despite the anticipation of the night, his heart jumps into his throat and he trips over his response, “That’s…, me too” Nicky answers, words tumbling out dumbly and a lot less smooth than Joe’s.

The younger shines again then Nicky is leaning forward and tilting his head up to meet him with a kiss.

The first touch of is soft and sweet. Joe’s lips are plush against his and the gentle kiss lingers until Nicky presses forward with mouth parting to taste him. Then it picks up quickly, deep and dirty with the other taking control – licking away his doubts and worries with heat inducing curls of his tongue and Nicky finds himself yielding easily when Joe pushes into him until his back hits the counter.

The hand from his wrist slides up his neck to fist into his hair and Nicky’s body starts to flood with arousal feeling the points where the other is firm against him, from shoulders to chest to groin then Nicky is grabbing at his hips greedily before he could stop himself. He’s reaching beneath the tight shirt to feel the hard muscle underneath and the smattering of hair at his navel, digging fingers among the hard cord of his pelvis then around to prod at the dimples of his back.

His body is becoming overheated, and his clothes start to feel uncomfortable and Joe’s pleased sounds into his mouth and grinding his swelling erection into his thigh is exacerbating the problem.

Not that it was an actual problem, but they were still in the kitchen and Nicky couldn’t remember the last time he made out with someone in the kitchen until his pants became too tight for him.

His hands slide lower, grabbing handfuls of Joe’s ass through his jeans and the motion brings attention to his own swollen cock and making him grunt in the other’s mouth.

“Nicky” Joe exclaims pulling back from his mouth to kiss at his jaw and neck before adding teeth to the hollow of his throat and pulling a really embarrassing sound from his throat.

“I want to suck you” Joe says then he’s putting space between their bodies and working Nicky’s belt open with quicker hands than he could follow.

“We should go to the bedroom” Nicky says as the logical part of his brain decides to join the party. It’s shut down with a “no” from Joe and the other drops to his knees and makes work of pulling his pants far enough to let his erection spring free.

He wants to say something more but he can’t concentrate further than watching Joe’s long fingers curl around his shaft then he can’t feel passed the wet heat of his mouth when the younger man takes him in, sliding back the foreskin to suck on the glans before working his mouth down his shaft.

“Fuck” Nicky curses and it’s the best thing he’s felt in a long time. Joe’s tongue stroking him while his cheeks hollows has his eyes rolling back and his hand white-knuckling the counter for dear life.

He doesn’t remember anything ever feeling this good and he can’t help the long groan that comes out his mouth when the other is nosing at his pubis and his throat flutters around the tip of his cock.

“Fuck, Joe” Nicky tries between pants, “I’m, if you make me come now” he stops breath hitching and hips jerking deep into the other’s mouth when a touch of teeth shocks his system and tightens his abdomen, “fuck, Joe” Nicky tries again with huffs of air and reaches for the other’s shoulders to push him back.

He doesn’t get far, with the other only pulling back to tease at his frenulum before swallowing him down again and leaving Nicky clawing at the leather jacket.

“Oh, fuck, I won’t be able to,” he manages with a quick rush of words before another sharp sting of teeth have him bucking deep and biting back the rest of his words with a groan.

It’s torture when Joe’s throat convulses around him, and even more torturous when the other won’t let him pull back and take him to gagging each time.

He feels like he’s dying and flying at the same time and he try as he might, he can’t help chasing the younger man’s heat for even a second.

It’s another sharp sting that has coming hard, burying himself in Joe’s mouth and praying for mercy at feeling the younger man swallow around him.

It happened much too fast for his liking and he wants to be embarrassed but it felt too good to bask in anything other than bliss.

Joe releases him slowly, taking point to tease him and pinch back and forth the foreskin until his oversensitive until he’s pushing at his shoulders again.

The other looks debauched and Nicky is thinking of a million ways he could get him to his knees again when the other rises and kisses him with the taste of his spend.

His groin digging into Nicky’s thigh lets him know he’s still very hard and causes Nicky to break the kiss between them.

“It’s going to take me some time before I can fuck you” he says matter of factly, too relaxed to be embarrassed about the draw backs his age brings.

“Actually I was hoping to fuck you” Joe says against his lips and worms a hand to palm at his softened cock and making him hiss from over sensitivity.

It wasn’t option that Nicky had considered the entire time he’d spent in anxious thought about their night but the words bloomed a sharp heat in him that had him gripping at the others back.

“Alright” he says and loses his breath when Joe kisses him again.


He’s considerably less nervous sliding into bed with Joe now that he knows the younger man’s intentions. It’s very easy to sit back and let him lead and Nicky’s glad for the pressure that has been lifted of off him.

He goes where Joe nudges him, pulls his shirt off between slow lulling kisses when the younger tugs at him, and pushes into his warm hands when he reaches for him.

There’s only a brief moment of discomfort when Joe’s wide palm rolls over his softened cock and he’s still too tender to enjoy it and the gasp and hiss he releases has the other sliding his hand across his thigh and up his hip instead.

“Do you want to wait?” Joe says, warm brown eyes filled with hunger but his brow tightened in concern as he watches him.

Nicky lets his eyes fully take him in. From the curls that were significantly more of a mess to the blown pupils of his eyes, the parting of his lips, the movement of his shoulders with every sharp breath, then lower still where his cock stood erect and glistening at the reddened tip with arousal.

He didn’t want to wait. Joe looked ready for it now and he wanted to give the younger man everything he wanted.

“No” Nicky answers and lets his legs opened wider in invitation for the other to get started. He was still spent. But he could catch up, if not right now then later on as he figures he could count on Joe’s stamina throughout the night.

“Okay” The younger man answers, eyes trailing his movements and gaze settling between his legs as he moves closer with lube in hand.

“Have you had anything there before?” Joe asks not meeting his eyes and sliding fingers beneath his balls and between his crack to rub at the tight ring of muscle.

“Yes” Nicky says and feels his face heat up as he elaborates, “toys, and my fingers” he finishes and feels embarrassed at the way Joe’s gaze turns to his face. It’s heated in a way that warms him all over and makes him bear down at the feel of the younger man’s digits prodding his hole.

Joe’s breath hitches at the same time that his body clenches up at the feeling of being penetrated then he’s cursing under his breath and pulling back to reposition himself.

“I want to do it like this so I can see you” Joe says as he’s laying flat, his head level with Nicky’s pelvis and pouring some lube into his fingers to warm up before sliding his hand under again.

Nicky forces his body to relax. He’s done this to himself multiple times, and knows his body enough by now to have some control over it, but he still flinches at the feeling of moistened fingers dragging across his rim.

It feels good, and he feels the heat of it combined with anticipation of what’s coming churning in his abdomen. His cock is still too spent to do anything worthwhile but be there but it doesn’t keep arousal from flooding him.

“You need to tell me if I’m hurting you” Joe says and pries him open with a finger and Nicky has never seen such an intense look of concentration on the younger man before.

He pushes against him, forces his body to relax as Joe goes in and in. Long artist fingers filling him till the knuckle twist against his rim and between working on keeping himself open and relaxed he hears Joe’s low groaning under his breath.

He’d almost missed that the younger man had worked his free hand down between his legs in the midst of remaining calm and open.

He couldn’t see beyond the arm because Joe was laying on it, but there was no motion to his arm which meant he wasn’t stroking himself off. Maybe just keeping hold as a precaution.

The thought flushed himself all over and his body tightened involuntary around the intrusion.

“fuck, Nicky” Joe says, muscles tightening and resting his head on Nicky’s thigh as he goes from curling the fingers against Nicky’s walls to plunging in and out gently.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, and so hot” Joe mumbles against him and Nicky can’t concentrate between Joe’s soft hair rubbing his sensitive inner thigh and the curled digit against his rim every time Joe pulls out.

“You can do another” Nicky says and his voice had gotten lower on it’s own accord and sounds a lot needier than he had expected.

Joe readjusts, his other arm appearing from underneath the long length of his body to help him pour more lube then there’s two fingers prodding at him and pushing in.

It’s easy to ignore the way it burns in favor of keeping his eyes in the younger’s man face and how he’s laser focused where his long digits are widening and stretching against his rim.

It makes Nicky wish he was doing more to be worth such an intense look instead of just laying back with legs spread while the other does all the work.

“You don’t need to be so gentle” Nicky says and Joe’s eyes flickers up to meet his, “I’ve had plenty of practice with this part” Nicky says even as his face heats up again, “I can take it” he finishes and rolls his hips against the slow pumps that Joe was giving him.

“I want it to be good for you” Joe answers and makes absolutely no motion as if he’s going to acquiesce to his words.

The sincerity in the words make his chest flutter in a way that he really wished it wouldn’t and he racks his brain for something to say that wouldn’t cross a line or give him away.

He doesn’t get the chance to voice them as Joe finds the spot that sets his spine ablaze and makes his back arch and his legs kick out.

“Fuck” Nicky moans in a huff as the pleasure recedes with the pullback of the younger man’s hand.

“There,” Joe’s saying and cutting through his loud breathing with a wide grin radiating his beautiful features, “see that? Patience” Joe says and Nicky has to shut his eyes to exhale when Joe punctuates the words with more blinding touches across his prostate.

“Yes” is all that he could say, body rolling into the movement of the younger man’s fingers and chasing them when he pulls out to add another.

“Can you do another?” Joe asks and Nicky is nodding too frantically to be dignified but he really wants Joe’s fingers back inside of him as it’s definitely better than anything that Nicky’s done to himself.

“We didn’t have to wait that long” Joe’s low voice echoes in his ear and his eyes blink open, having been unaware that he shut them against the pleasure shooting through him.

“What?” Nicky asks voice hoarse and confused then he’s gasping when Joe takes the head of his cock into his mouth and causes his hips to buck up.

He’d gotten hard again before he could realize and the heat running through his veins was again nothing compared to the heat of Joe’s wet mouth sinking down his cock and making him hump forward.

“Fuck, Joe” Nicky curses and his abdomen is tight as he’s trying to force his body to relax against pumping into the younger man’s face.

“Oh” he cries sharp when lightning shoots through his spine again from where the other filled him with his fingers and continued the assault against the sensitive organ.

“Fuck, I’m ready please” Nicky’s saying in between chasing the younger man’s fingers and mouth. He’s not sure which insanely good sensation he should be focusing on and quickly feels like he’s being thrown into deep end once again.

Joe pulls off his cock with a slurp that’s going to remain lodged in his ears until his heart gives out and Nicky lets out a groan of regret when the hand leaves him empty as well.

“It’s better if you turn around” Joe’s saying and straightening to his knees.

Nicky’s momentarily mesmerized by the twisting of muscle as he moves and the way his wet cock bounces against cut abs and it takes Joe’s wide palm against his thigh to ground him back to the present.

“Alright” He says finally and then he’s twisting in bed.

“Like this” Joe’s saying and he’s stuffing a pillow beneath Nicky’s hips to anchor him up and take the pressure off his knees.

It’s incredibly considerate. It’s also Its own brand of torture as now his hard cock is rubbing against the fabric with every motion of his body.

“Fuck” Nicky lets out and grabs a pillow for his head and torso as well and buries his face into it.

“Fuck you’re so hot” Joe’s saying, hands splayed across his thighs scorchingly hot then gone like a whisper.

Nicky breathes to try and calm himself. He’s actually on fire but he wants to last for Joe. He wants it to be good for the younger man and he wants it to be something that they’re going to do again and again.

“I’m ready” is what he says instead of confessing and hugs the pillow underneath him as the sound of Joe slicking up his cock reaches his ears.

He doesn’t remember ever wanting something as badly as he does in this moment and every second that continues without the other touching him makes it worse.

“Joe” he says head twisting to look over his shoulder, he’s unable to keep the impatience out of his voice as he watched the younger man get closer.

“I’ve been thinking of this for weeks” Joe’s saying with a firm hand at his ass, pulling his cheeks apart to position his cock at his twitching rim, “I’ve been thinking about being the first person to ever have you like this” Joe continues and Nicky feels the first push of the bulbous head pressing in until the tight ring of muscle gives for him.

“It’s been like torture trying to wait, I’ve wanted you so badly” the younger man confesses but Nicky can’t hear passed the blood rushing in his ears and the feel of such an intimate part of him stretching to accommodate Joe’s length sinking inside.

There’s a sound echoing, low and insistent amid the white noise and the muffled words coming from Joe and he’s vaguely aware that it’s stemming from his chest but there’s nothing he could do about it.

“No one’s going to have you like this” Joe’s muttering low with his slow push in and Nicky tries to focus on what the other is saying but he can’t make sense of anything except for the burn where they connect, how full he is, how cored open, and how good he feels.

“Fuck, fuck” whispers trip out of his tongue and unto the wet fabric of the pillow that he’s biting into as his body rocks back incrementally out of his control and unto the length spearing him in search of more.

“Nicky” Joe’s groaning from far away, his fingers digging bruises into Nicky’s flesh as he meets him with slow grinds of his hips that scrapes his hard dick raw against every one of Nicky’s exposed nerves.

It’s so much. It’s too much; but he still needs more. Even as his breath catches and chokes him when he tries to ask for it.

“Joe” Nicky tries to beg but its garbled from being caught in his throat and bunched around the plush pillow holding back his tongue.

Joe seems to understand anyway because his body goes into motion.

The drag out feels like he’s losing something fundamental and Nicky can’t help the long suffering groan that accompanies it nor can he help the desperate “fuck, please, yes” when Joe fills him up again.

It continues like that for far too long, slow pulls that leaves him wounded every time and deep pushes in that fills the void and makes him want to keep the other there all night.

It’s a slow burn between the soft fabric rubbing against his cock, the pillow that it keeps sinking into and Joe’s controlled movements of pulling out near completely then entering him again; it winds him up torturously so, to the point of being overwhelmed with sensation.

“Faster Joe” Nicky manages with hiccuping breaths then has to bite his tongue when the other obliges and sets a quick pace with hard smacks of hips against his ass and thighs.

It sets the bed in motion and the headboard rocks against the wall and it’s just another lewd sound in the cacophony of noises from their skin slapping into each other, Nicky’s breathy moans and Joe panting low murmurs of filth that Nicky’s no longer attempting to make out.

Small shifts in positioning and angling at his prostate has sharp and blinding bursts of pleasure shooting through him and he becomes too aware at the heaviness of his cock which feels close to bursting as he leaks continuously into the pillow beneath his hips.

The friction against the material – while it felt very very good – was not enough and was slowly driving him insane. He needed more stimulation to his cock if he was going to come again.

“Fuck…” Nicky whines and he’s rising to plant his palms on the bed so he could pull the pillow from beneath his hips and get a hand around his cock when suddenly Joe is pulling out and leaving him empty.

He damn near whimpers at the loss, head twisting uncomfortably to peer behind him for answers.

“I want to see your face” Joe says in response to the desperation in his eyes and pushes him to turn and lay flat.

His shoulders hit the mattress first and he’s rolling to his back with sluggish movements when impatience from the other grabs at his legs and thighs to settle them around his waist.

His muscles are too lax to actually feel it when the younger man leans in and pushes his knees to his sides then all he could do is grip at the sheets as Joe sinks in smoothly to the hilt once again.

His throat releases another insistent breathless groan and his vision darkens behind his lids when his body lights up in pleasure.

“Look at me Nicky” Joe is saying and it take a few seconds and a gentle caress to register that the younger man is addressing him.

His heavy eyes blink open to see Joe’s face much closer than he was a few moments ago. Close enough that his features blur from Nicky taking it all in at once.

“Look at me” Joe repeats and his words are a huff of air against Nicky’s cheeks that captures his attention and forces him to take in the dark eyes filled with something hungry and possessive.

“I’m looking” he says in a whisper before his breath is caught with Joe’s lips against his own and his tongue invading his mouth hungrily.

Then his hips starts to move again and Nicky’s taken back to the edge of madness with every hard strike against his prostate.

His cock dribbles a steady stream and even with Joe hovering low and mouthing at his neck and leaving bruises at his throat, he can’t help reaching for it to provide some relief to his aching member.

There’s a low strung out groan as his fingers curl around his wet and swollen length with an upstroke, then his legs are tightening around the younger man’s back as his spine arches and his muscles spasms in pleasure.

“Oh…” Nicky’s saying with short frantic pulls at his throbbing cock, two, then three, then he’s coming between their chest.

Body seizing tight and arching against the muscular man hovering over him. Then it gets better still when the other brings his hand between them so they’re both around his cock and works him through his orgasm as semen shoots up his chest with every painfully amazing spasm of his cock.

“God,” Nicky is saying before he could stop himself, “oh fuck, oh God” he cries with voice raking in gravel as Joe’s long fingers stroke his cock to oversensitivity.

“Yeah, yes, give me everything” Joe is panting across his cheeks then touching their foreheads together and Nicky can’t help squirming away from the point of sensation and stilling the younger man’s torturous movements on his emptying cock.

“Fuck, look at me” Joe’s saying, thumb circling the engorged head of his cock as he softens and making him clench his teeth against sharp whines.

It was becoming too too much. The assault against his prostate hadn’t stopped and his body was confused about chasing the contact or pulling away from it when the pain and pleasure started to weave together.

“Fuck, Joe, Joe, Joe” Nicky says repeating the other’s name in tandem with the movement of his hips and trying and failing to force his eyelids open.

“Oh, fuck, fuck,” he says body writhing against the one pounding into him as another heat builds in his core that will lead to nowhere.

“Look at me Nicky” Joe pants against his lips, and nudging his head side to side where their foreheads are touching, “I want to see your eyes” Joe’s says and stops his movements to a grind that turns Nicky’s knuckles white from his grip on the bedspread.

“Joe,” Nicky starts then cuts off and bites his lips as he takes considerable effort to unclench his eyes and look at the other man.

He’s met with mostly pupils, surrounded by warm rings of brown and he feels like he could do nothing but stare into those eyes for the rest of forever if Joe would let him.

“You’re really beautiful” Joe’s saying against his mouth while his hips make tiny circles against his ass and Nicky’s mind is barely functioning but he knows he’s not the really beautiful one here.

His head shakes ‘no’, taking the younger man with him as he does so and tries to respond “There’s nothing compared to you” he says and his voice is hoarse but doesn’t break.

Joe kisses him then, and it lingers, his tongue a slow tease moving against his and promising something that Nicky doesn’t want to read into so it doesn’t end badly.

Another tight circle against his sensitive nerves cause him to seize and Joe is groaning into his mouth and digging teeth into his lower lip.

“Fuck” the younger man mumbles when he pulls away then he’s straightening from Nicky completely. Standing to his knees and untangling his legs from his back to anchor his thighs and push them back in a way that Nicky will absolutely regret come morning.

“You feel so good” Joe’s mumbling again then he’s pulling nearly completely out and slamming back in.

Nicky screams because there’s nothing else he could do then Joe’s doing it again and again, avoiding his over sensitive prostate but still rubbing against him like fire on a raw nerve.

It takes his breath away and he’s biting his lips to bleeding to hold back the sounds of pleasure that wants to escape as he’s driven beyond words.

His body is a constant state of spasm against the painfully pleasured assault and his arms, abs and thighs are all cramping from how tightly he’s clenching around Joe’s heavy cock furiously fucking into him.

“Fuck, fuck” the other mumbles, movement becoming erratic and grip tightening around Nicky’s knees.

He’s taken off guard when the younger man suddenly stills and comes with a loud groan that drowns out Nicky’s own desperate cries and can’t help the way his body jerks at the feel of Joe’s release coating his insides in a filthy way that he’s never experience before.

“Unh…” Nicky breathes and shuts his eyes tight, unable to help the heat that surges at the feel of Joe’s come leaking out of him when the younger man pulls out to collapse on the bed next to him.

“Fuck” Joe’s saying, warm breath suddenly at his cheek.

“Ah, fuck, Joe” Nicky cries and bucks when the younger man’s is prodding fingers at his sore rim and sliding against the mess he made.

“Fuck,” he reaches out to grab his wrist away and intertwine his fingers instead when the other tries to enter him again.

“Too much” he says, voice unrecognizable and turns his head to see the other smiling wide at him.

“Okay. Sorry” he says but he’s grinning in a way that says the opposite and Nicky tries for a smile back.

He barely manages with the way exhaustion is pulling at his core.

“We can do that later” Joe says then burrows his overheated body closer and Nicky thinks out loud “you’re trying to kill me” to Joe’s delight and boisterous laughter.

“Only little deaths” The younger man replies and Nicky snorts holding back laughter and thinks it’s going to be a nice way to go before sleep takes him completely.