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Avoiding the inevitable

Chapter 28

Notes:

*purs* Hello, my darlings.

For now, I'll refrain from teasing you in these little notes. I feel like you've suffered enough over the latest chapters as I'd read your delightful comments. And, well, also because there's a bit more suffering (on your part) down the road you're voluntarily embarking on. I'm not entirely without mercy, y'know. *winks*

Regarding your comments (as always, thank you for them <3), I'll be replying to them this weekend. I promise I haven't forgotten about y'all, I've just been a bit preoccupied or too tired this week.

I also feel the need to point out that, even though I'd been fortunate enough to have found myself a beta, if you do happen to stumble upon some faults, that's entirely on me, due to my restless mind continuing to tweak around here and there, because I think of, or see things I feel that could've been done better.
She'll probably let out (what I imagine being) a very Miranda-like snort when she sees this. *chuckles*

Anyway,
I hope you'd had a lovely week, and that I can bring it to an unpleasantly pleasant close with this next chapter!

Enjoy!
Or not,
I suppose that entirely depends on your perception on these latest chapters.

Even though I'm currently "avoiding the inevitable" *snickers*, just remember, the inevitable part of it all is..., well, inevitable. *rolls eyes*
I promise I'll do my very best to make that part as remarkable as I can make it to be, to the best of my abilities. And for that, the avoiding part, is rather necessary, so please, bear with me on this. I've said it once before, but your patience shall be rewarded. *winks*

Okay, okay, I know, enough of me rambling already.
I'll let you get to it.
Once again,
Enjoy <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Suppressing a yawn, Andy exited the elevator onto the Runway floor, drowning out the hectic bustling of the clackers around her as she trudged towards the anteroom, not caring that she probably looked like something the cat had dragged in. Upon crossing the threshold, she noticed an unfamiliar face sitting behind the second assistant’s desk. Andy had completely forgotten that she was supposed to train a new assistant today since Miranda had fired Claire last Friday. Clenching her jaw tight, she suppressed a frustrated groan because this was, to the nth degree, the last thing she needed to deal with on a day where she felt like utter crap, since she’d barely gotten any shut-eye over the weekend. 

But then Andy thought that the timing couldn’t have been better, because this would provide her with enough of a distraction, or rather, an excuse to avoid Miranda. She’d be too busy with preparing the new girl to work under The Fashion Queen’s reign of terror, but mostly, she could use her as a buffer to distance herself from said Queen as well. 

“You must be the new assistant?” Andy asked as she forced a smile on her face. 

“I am,” the raven-haired girl grinned back. “I’m Raquel Ortega. And you’re Andrea, right?” 

Andy nodded, thinking that Raquel seemed friendly enough, not like the typical pretentious clacker that dominated the fashion industry. “Please, call me-” 

“Andy,” Raquel interrupted as she chuckled. “I thought you were going to say that, I’ve heard quite a bit about you already in the half hour that I’ve been here.” 

Andy blinked in disbelief, then asked, “You have?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Raquel nodded, seemingly impressed. “I’m well aware of Miranda’s tyrannical reputation, but everyone seems to be convinced that you’ve been able to tame the Dragon Lady, so to speak. This bald guy advised me that you’re the one to turn to when things get rough, because you’ll always know what to do, and are always willing to help.” 

In this moment Andy realized that if someone had said that to her a week ago, she’d have been happy hearing that everyone thought there wasn’t a single thing Andy couldn’t do to please Miranda. However, right now, the fact that she was seemingly held in such close regard to the editor, only caused her to feel something very akin to grief, because everyone’s notion about them couldn’t have been further from the truth. 

Feeling saddened by the statement, Andy said quietly, “I see.” Then, as she acknowledged what Raquel had said about Miranda, she couldn’t help but feel defensive all of a sudden. “Just make sure Miranda doesn’t hear you call her that, or any other type of moniker for that matter, or you’ll be out of here in no time.” 

Raquel merely chuckled in amusement. “Guess you’re more of her knight than her tamer, aren’t you? Don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a death wish. In fact, I’m rather excited to be working here. I know this job will open many doors for me, and I intend to make good use of it.” She finished with a rather challenging smirk. 

“Well, good,” Andy said, suddenly feeling not quite sure about Raquel’s friendly nature. “Ready for your first task then?” 

“Definitely,” Raquel answered determinately. 

“Then go to the Starbucks across the street and get-” 

“One no-foam skimmed latte with an extra shot, center-of-the-sun hot, I’m on it,” Raquel quipped enthusiastically as she practically jumped off her seat and scurried, as if she was born with five-inch heels on her feet, out of the anteroom. 

“Yeah,” Andy said faintly, “That.” 

After Andy had prepared Miranda’s desk by strategically spreading out magazines and the newspaper, as well as placing a chilled glass of San Pellegrino on a coaster, she retrieved her pen and notepad from her desk, then made her way back to the elevator for Miranda’s always punctual arrival. She was surprised to see that Raquel was back already as their paths crossed in the hallway. 

Handing the coffee cup over into Andy’s outstretched hand, Raquel asked boastfully, “How’s my time?” 

“Acceptable, I suppose,” Andy said, sporting a fake smile once more. 

Then, with dreadful trepidation, she proceeded on her way to meet Miranda at the elevator, her heartrate picking up in its velocity with every unnerving step she made. 

The reality of facing Miranda was making Andy’s stomach stir in all kinds of uncomfortable knots and constricting twists. It was awfully afflictive how a single disheartening revelation messed with Andy’s head so drastically, that she’d gone from wanting to be in Miranda’s presence 24/7, to wanting to run away in the opposite direction over the course of one weekend.  

The prospect of seeing Miranda again used to be such a zealous outlook, because the older woman had been like the ideality of what Andy wanted her future to look like. Andy knew that she would never again meet someone she found equally extraordinary as Miranda, someone she would be so consumed by that she’d lost sight of everything else around her because her sole focus had become her desire to be Miranda’s significant other. Therefore, it was entirely a hard, damn near impossible pill to swallow when she’d been hit with the brutal truth that they were in fact, never meant to be. Much like waiting with wishful excitement, after all the passionate nurturing and consideration you’d invested, for the bud of your favorite flower to bloom. But sadly, all the culmination brought was unfulfilling disappointment as its blossoming never came, never even began. Instead, it withered away, life ending before it even truly had a chance to flourish, its existence having always been a hopeless bane, since not even a single petal had been destined to soak up the sun’s rays. 

The mere thought of Miranda alone, caused a vicious stab to pierce through her already broken heart. That fractured heart suddenly skipped a painful beat as the elevator dinged, doors sliding open, and Andy had to forcefully bite back her tears at the sight of the editor, who walked past her without sparing so much as a single glance, who seemed to be entirely wrapped up in her boss-mode already, making Andy feel as if she was merely another insignificant assistant, which, in this moment, she was. 

Andy was still very much struggling to stomach the naked truth that Miranda would forever be an unattainable, yearning dream to her. So, she let her eyes drop southward, due to her fear that she’d instantly break down entirely if she’d met Miranda’s gaze. A gaze she’d been all but eager to lose herself in only a couple of days before. But now, Andy was clinging desperately onto the last frail strands of her self-control, knowing that if she’d met Miranda’s eyes now, she’ll uncontrollably fall endlessly into an arctic abyss of despair. Because Andy acknowledged that those enthralling eyes would never regard her in such a way than they would a certain king usurper, and if not him, eventually it would be another man that would be graced, bestowed with the gift of adoration in Miranda’s gaze. 

Andy simply couldn’t bear such a grievous confrontation just yet. Her wounds were still too deep, too fresh, and she was nowhere near the starting line of her road to recovery yet. 
Even though Miranda was never hers to begin with, she’d always known that losing Miranda would be a painful affair. However, over the weekend, she’d come to experience the reality that there was no such thing as anticipating, preparing for such a hurtful condition.  

But what Andy could have anticipated, should have truly realized beforehand, is that it was a given testament that loving Miranda would’ve only concluded in an inconsolable ending Andy could’ve prevented for herself. If only she hadn’t allowed herself to hope like an ignorant protagonist in a romance novel, if only she had distanced herself from Miranda sooner. She should’ve predicted that the scenario of loving Miranda had always been scripted with an epilogue, where Andy’s heartbreak had been set in stone. 

Handing the coffee over to Miranda, their fingers brushed, and Andy couldn’t help but cringe slightly at the contact, a cold shudder creeping up her arm, because that had been the hand which Miranda had used to grasp the usurper’s hand. A sign of Miranda’s affection. A sentiment Andy would never be the receiving end of.  

Andy understood now, that Miranda would never acknowledge her as someone more than just her assistant, or as someone more than merely just a simple friend. Unfortunately, that was something Andy couldn’t accept because she didn’t want to be her friend, or rather, she couldn’t be, not while holding so many feelings for Miranda at the same time.  

The true demoralizing realization of it all was that she’d allowed herself to be played like a fool by none other than herself. All because she’d been destitute of her vision by her near obsession for the older woman. And it is exactly due to that epiphany that left Andy feeling embittered to no end. 

As Andy wrote down the seemingly endless list of tasks Miranda was dictating in her ever so indifferent, yet imperious manner, she couldn’t help but tune herself into Miranda’s demeanor. The editor delivered everything rather curtly, making it seem like she couldn’t wait to get this part over and done with. Even with keeping her head mostly down, Andy could still pick up on the barely noticeable hints that gave away the tension in Miranda’s posture.  

These things suggested to Andy that Miranda was apparently trying to exude her usual impersonal, yet callously strict, razor-sharp focus that made up her business persona, but was actually covering up that she was thinking of something else as well. Most likely distracted by thoughts of the usurper, no doubt. 

The somewhat distant and detached vibe consequently conveyed to Andy, making her realize painfully once more, that when push comes to shove, that she was ultimately nothing more than just another assistant to the editor. Because even after everything that had transpired between them, in the end, Miranda still deemed her not significant enough to treat her as something more than that when they were in public. 

With a sharpshooter’s aim, Miranda flung her coat and bag onto the second assistant’s desk, naturally, not even deigning to acknowledge Raquel, who didn’t seem to mind it in the least, if the ecstatic look on her face was anything to go by. 

Reluctantly, Andy followed Miranda into the inner office as she continued to scribble on her notepad. When it finally seemed as if Miranda had uttered the final task for the time being, out of habit, Andy waited for the trademark dismissal, but discerned with anguishing anxiety that it wasn’t about to be issued upon her anytime soon.  

Andy knew, she could literally feel Miranda’s gaze on her. The magnetic force Miranda possessed over her, seemingly urged Andy to look up at her. But Andy couldn’t find it within herself to truly face the cause for her heartsickness yet. She was still too emotional, she couldn’t think straight because she was still too angry at herself, and entirely outraged over the fact that she was seemingly so easily replaced by someone as obnoxious such as the usurper. The pain Andy was feeling was too overpowering, however, she desperately didn’t want to give in to the sadness of it all. Therefore, it left her with no other choice but to cling on to the only thing that wouldn’t cause her to break down, her anger. 

“Andréa, are you alright?” Miranda asked softly, barely audible, as if she didn’t want someone to hear her direct such an inconceivable question towards her assistant. 

     Of course not, how could it be? Andy thought spitefully, clenching her jaw tight. 

“I’m fine,” Andy answered curtly instead. 

After a short, high-strung pause, Miranda said, “That wasn’t the truth, Andréa.” 

     So what if it wasn’t? What difference does it make? It’s not like it really matters anymore, does it?  

“Just-, a lot on my mind,” Andy grumbled under her breath. “I’ve missed a week’s worth of work, after all.” 

She knew Miranda was scrutinizing her, taking note of every single weary and wary detail in Andy’s appearance. 

“Why aren’t you looking at me?” Miranda asked, a sedate gravity lacing her voice. 

     Because I want to be able to walk out of here with at least a sliver of my dignity still intact. Because you can never know, that you’ve broken my heart.  

I should get to work,” Andy said impassively. “I’ve got a lot of things to do. You’d said so yourself, we’re behind on schedule.”   

“You’re avoiding me,” Miranda stated slowly, quietly, gravely. 

     Like you avoided me this weekend?  

Frowning deeply, inwardly, Andy was frantically trying to reel in her anguish, causing the irritation she felt at herself to seep out of her tone, I’m just trying to do my job, Miranda. That’s what’s required of me, isn’t it?” 

“Andréa,” Miranda said, sounding slightly leery. “This is not the place nor the time for me to inquire about what you’re feeling-” 

     Well, that’s quite the inconspicuous way of saying that you’d rather be focusing on your new beau instead, isn’t it? Why am I not at all surprised?  

“I said I’m fine, Miranda,” Andy interrupted sharply. “Look,” she took a step back as she shook her head, feeling an urgent need to put some distance between them, then backed up another step. “We’re wasting time here. I-” 

“Stop moving away from me, Andréa. We’re not done here,” Miranda demanded as she suddenly rose from her seat. 

     Oh, but we are, aren’t we? You and your so-called king have made that crystal clear for me.  

Unwillingly, Andy felt the telltale prickling sensation of her eyes starting to water. So, abruptly, she turned around as she waved her notepad slightly in the air, mumbling, “I’ve got other engagements I need to attend.” Then she proceeded to walk out of the inner office, not having it in her to care if she’d just invoked Miranda’s anger, because all she could think of was that she desperately needed to get out of there. 

As Andy reached Raquel’s desk, she heard her ask, so overly enthusiastic that Andy couldn’t help but feel appalled by the chipper attitude, “So, what do you need me to do now?”  

Glaring down at Raquel, she said sharply, voice increasingly hoarse, “Listen, I’m only going to explain this once, because frankly, I’ve got much more pressing matters to deal with right now.” 

Andy didn’t fail to notice the slight recoil in Raquel’s posture, nor the hardening in her deep brown eyes, but she couldn’t find it within herself to care. “Under no circumstances are you to leave the phones unmanned. Do not let a call go to voicemail. Take notes on everything you don’t know what to do with, I’ll deal with them later. My number is on the contact list, however, only call me if it’s about something urgent. Update Miranda’s schedule and reply to emails for the time being. I’ll explain everything else to you when I get back.” Walking past Raquel, Andy finished with a strangled, “That’s all.” 

*** 

Instead of relegating the various tasks that took her out of the office to Raquel, Andy had taken them upon herself, because she simply didn’t have the heart to face Miranda again after she’d walked out on the editor that morning. When Andy returned at the end of the day, she breathed a sigh of relief upon finding that Miranda wasn’t in her office. She realized all too well that she couldn’t keep avoiding Miranda forever, that their paths would cross undoubtedly sooner rather than later, but until that time, Andy welcomed all the reprieve she could get, needing to distance herself from the older woman until she was more of sound mind to deal with her situation. 

She turned to Raquel who was typing something on the computer, seemingly deep in concentration. 

“Hey, Raquel?” Andy inquired gently. 

Raquel looked up at her, an indifferent, yet stern look on her face. “Yes?” 

Andy sighed. “Look, I’m sorry if I came off rather rude earlier today. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I’ve just been..., stressed, I guess.” 

With a slightly tight-lipped smile, Raquel said, “It’s okay, thanks for saying that.” 

“Still,” Andy said guiltily. “I shouldn’t have left you to your own devices like that. Were you able to handle the day okay?” 

Raquel nodded. “Oh, yeah. Everything went without a hitch. I did as you said, phone calls, emails, and all that. But, I’m not entirely sure if Miranda knows that I even exist. Well, except for when I relayed a certain message not too long ago, but even then, she didn’t acknowledge me, just nodded once, that’s it.” 

“Don’t take it personally,” Andy said. “Miranda doesn’t acknowledge a lot of people. My advice, is just to get used to it.” Then, as an afterthought, Andy asked, “What sort of message?” 

“You mean the one I had to relay to her?” Raquel asked, then continued at Andy’s nod. “Oh, just some big shot, Arthur something, uhm-, Alastair. Yes, that’s it, Arthur Alastair. He’d requested Miranda to meet him for dinner. I think that’s where she went off to now. You actually just missed her. She seemed in a bit of a rush.” 

At the mentioning of that name, Andy felt as if a cannonball had hit her right in the gut, prompting a sudden case of heartburn, as well as knocking the wind right out of her. 

“Andy?” Raquel queried gently. “You okay? You don’t look so good all of a sudden.” 

“I’m fine,” Andy snapped. Then immediately regretted her little outburst at the shocked, slightly hurt look in Raquel’s eyes. “Shit,” Andy mumbled as she rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry, Raquel. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.” 

Looking apprehensive, Raquel said, “You seem to not intend to do a lot of things. At this rate, you’d be apologizing to me every five minutes or so.” 

Andy chuckled solemnly. “Yeah, I know. I really am sorry. I’m just...” releasing an exhausted breath, Andy continued. “Well, I’m just going through something right now. And I’ve got a bit of a temper. So, please, don’t take it personally. It’s honestly not my intention to make you feel bad.” 

Sweeping her bangs out of her face, Raquel said, “It’s okay, I get it. Trouble in paradise. Don’t worry about it. At least I know now.” 

Andy nodded. “Anyway,” she began, wanting to change the topic. “How about I give you a proper rundown of what you need to know while working here?” 

Raquel grinned, eyes suddenly glimmering with interest. “Sounds like a plan.” 

*** 

As Andy got home late that evening, she slammed her front door closed, needing to vent some of her aching anger, which had been instigated upon finding that Miranda still hadn’t come home from her dinner by the time she’d delivered the Book to the townhouse.  
It wasn’t like she’d planned, nor wanted to see Miranda again, on the contrary, she absolutely dreaded the thought of Miranda calling her over to talk about Andy’s attitude today. Because Andy simply had no idea what she could say without giving away that it’s actually due to Miranda herself that her mind and soul are struggling in every waking moment, and frankly, she didn’t even want to say anything even if she could. Miranda was never destined to be her safe haven. 

However, what she hadn’t anticipated was how her anger had gotten the better of her, consumed her upon realizing that Miranda was most likely still out with that guy. She couldn’t get her mind to stop thinking about Miranda, doing God knows what, with the usurper that had invaded, upended, and overthrown her life, leaving her utterly embittered because she’d been defeated without so much as a real fight. 

Somewhere, deeply buried within the recesses of her rational mind, she knew that she couldn’t blame Miranda for the heartache she’s going through. Because ultimately, Miranda had done nothing wrong, she’d never shown any real sign that she was interested in something more than just friendship. Andy had merely been misinterpreting every single inkling she’d had, or misread all the implications Miranda had given off. But right now, her temperamental emotions had seized her, latched on with vicious claws, and were controlling the forefront of her being, blinding her of all rational thought. Andy was left irritated beyond all reason because she simply couldn’t stop thinking about how much of a fool she’d been, as well as not being able to get Miranda out of her head. 

Miranda, whose world hadn’t changed in the least, because Andy was decidedly not meaningful enough to cause even the slightest bit of impact on her life. She simply continued on, most likely walking down a path that would turn her life around for the better, because she’d found someone who she wanted to spend her time with, whose company she preferred over Andy’s. 
Miranda, who was going out and about, living her life, unwaveringly confident, high and mighty, and forevermore unfazed, not deigning to spare even a glance at the innocent or ignorant living souls she crushed under the powerful gait of her heels. 
Miranda, who had probably all but forgotten about the past, rather intimate week that had transpired between them, because it had ultimately meant nothing of true significance to her.  
Miranda, who was utterly oblivious to the agonizing heartbreak she’d caused Andy, unbeknownst of all the despairing rivers the younger woman had cried since she’d discovered the article in The Post. 

Andy poured herself a nearly brimming glass full of wine, almost draining half of it in one go, wanting to forget the devastation loving Miranda had caused her, wanting to forget that she’d gotten the other side of the coin, the downside. Because unlike Miranda’s, her world had changed, much like that metaphoric coin, it had been turned upside down. She’d been foolishly walking around with her head in the clouds, obscuring her rational mind. Bewitched by a hopeless love spell, her soul consumed by the most heady, addictive drug she’d ever experienced in her life.  

However, now that Andy’s mind, body, and soul were going through a painstakingly withdrawal, forcefully trying to sober herself from the intoxication Miranda had inadvertently caused on her being, the disillusioning veils had been lifted, and she could now recognize that it hadn’t been a spell that had possessed her, but something much worse. She’d been bedeviled by a much darker, sinister enchantment.  

Andy had been cursed, and she couldn’t help it, nor fight it, but it angered her to no end. Because she knew that she would, in the foreseeable future, carry the side-effects within her. It had tainted her heart, darkened her mind, and infected soul. The love she felt for Miranda had desolated her, because nothing would ever come close to the sensations she’d experienced. The considerable intensity she’d felt behind the feeling, was something only a few fortunate souls would ever get to be blessed with in their lifetime. People longed for, searched their entire lives to find such an epic, otherworldly connection with love. 

But what the world failed to see, is that when you allow yourself to bask in the pleasure of such a blessing, is that you’re essentially signing your soul over to the Devil. Because that kind of love isn’t a treasured gift that is freely bestowed upon a so-called fortunate soul. 

No, it’s a compromise, a concealed trap, a sinfully corrupt contract. And as you sign your name away, making a deal with the Devil himself, people realize belatedly that it leaves you now forever indebted to him, because the seemingly so ethereal thing he’d promised you, always comes with a heavy price to pay.  

Sadly, it’s simply human nature that makes you heedlessly grasp and embrace such a revered rarity upon finding it. However, allowing yourself to be consumed by such a love, truly means that you’re ensnared in the essence of the deadly sin of lust. 

Tricked by the Devil, who has come to collect, Andy is now paying off that debt, leaving her in the most vulnerable position she’d ever experienced. After all, for all it brightens, love casts a long, forlorn shadow. Because she is now doomed as one of those unfortunate souls to wander the earth, cast in hellish darkness.  

Vanquished by the usurper, or any other man, their triumph consequently sentencing Andy’s penance, because she’d allowed herself to be swept away in lustful love. 

Manipulated by none other than herself, blindsided by her hope, strayed off course and cast away.  Her heart cursed into an anchor, dragging her down, sinking into darkness, and now she lay drowning, crushed under the heavy weight of the ocean. 

Misled by Miranda, because Andy had blindly believed that she was her life jacket, her saving grace. 

So now, with nothing to hold onto, Andy had been robbed of her faith, her hope, and her strength to swim back upwards.  

Spitefully, she narrowed her eyes as she glanced down at her phone on the kitchen counter, which was currently buzzing, lit up, and displaying the cause of her woeful affliction.  

Andy scoffed at it as it continued to buzz. Feeling that she’d suffered more than enough already, she couldn’t even begin to think of a single reason why she should give in to another one of Miranda’s whims. The last thing she needed right now, was to listen to Miranda’s voice, who’d been spending the entirety of the evening doing things, which Andy tried with dreadful desperation not to think of, with that obnoxious new man in her life, no doubt.  

She couldn’t do it, in this moment, and every other moment to come, she couldn’t accept that all Miranda would only ever truly need from her, was to be her assistant, or to be a mere friend. But sadly, that is exactly what Andy was, and realizing that, only fueled her self-anger impossibly more, tormenting her to no end. 

She drowned the remaining half of her glass, nearly breaking it as she slammed it back down on the counter. Opting for the bottle instead, she strode out of the kitchen. 

It was the first time since working for Miranda, that she didn’t take her call. 

Nate would’ve probably been happy about such a twist of fate. 

Notes:

So?
Was it as unpleasantly pleasant for you like I'm hoping it to be?
Oops, I know, I said 'no teasing'...
I'm really trying here!

That being said, I promise that what I'm about to say next is honestly not meant for the purpose of provoking you lovely lot.

I'm afraid that I'm not entirely sure if I can hit the one-week mark in updating the next chapter. I've got a rather busy schedule next week. However, it's in progress though! So, don't worry (be happy (hakuna matata)), because if the delay does happen, it won't be that much of a longer wait, promise. I'll be working on it whenever I can if I'm not too tired (because I've found that it's really hard to write, or tap into my creative side, when feeling tired), and I only want to give you the best parts of me... (okay, that was a bit of a teasing comment) *chuckles*

In any case,
I appreciate your patience and consideration.
I hope you have a lovely weekend!

Talk soon, darlings!
Love yah! <3
*smooch*