♥ ♡ ♥
Yoongi is halfway through reading the first chapter of a new book when his phone pings on the coffee table. Sitting up, he pushes his glasses onto the top of his head and picks up the device. He smiles unconsciously, seeing who the notification is from, and settles back onto the couch.
I have had the absolute worst day
Almost threw in the towel
Is that a pun because you work at a gym?
You're not funny >:(
Just stupid stuff. I'm probably overreacting
I'm just upset and now it's raining and I forgot my umbrella
Yoongi glances out the window, seeing the steady downpour of rain. He frowns at the clouds visible through the streaked glass.
Do you want to come over?
My place is closer to your work anyway
Are you sure it's okay?
Yoongi smiles again at his phone.
Of course it is, I'll be waiting
Jungkook responds with an affirmative and Yoongi heaves himself off the couch. The prospect of seeing Jungkook, even if the other man is upset, sends a swarm of butterflies fluttering around his stomach. He hasn't gotten over the feeling yet, hasn't adjusted to the warmth that surges through his chest every time they talk, every time he sees Jungkook smile. It's new, really new, having met five weeks ago and only becoming official boyfriends about three weeks ago. But Yoongi is happy, Jungkook makes him happy and Yoongi wants to return that.
Padding into the kitchen, Yoongi pulls a container of leftover jjigae from the fridge and pours it into a pot, setting it on the stove to heat. He sets the kettle to boil next, getting out a mug and a sachet of peppermint tea, Jungkook's favorite. Smiling to himself, Yoongi stirs the stew and waits for Jungkook to arrive. This is Yoongi's strength, small ways he can care for someone. Being able to dote, even in simple ways, has always been his preferred way to show his friends affection. Even better if his friends don't notice or realize it, he doesn't need or want thanks, just wants to see them taken care of. This feeling is even stronger when it comes to Jungkook. The past five weeks of knowing the other man have made Yoongi giddily happy, something he refuses to let his friends see for fear of their teasing.
Yoongi hasn't always been one to listen to his best friend. Jimin is loud and impulsive, a sucker for drama, and a class A meddler. Yoongi had agreed at first, when Jimin started setting him up with friends on dates. He can't count on one hand the number of blind dates he attended at Jimin's behest. Most ended in disaster, and one in a very dissatisfying hookup. Jimin hadn't spoken to him for three days after Yoongi requested that he stop the set ups. He had taken it as a personal insult, insisting that Yoongi just wasn't trying. And Jimin wasn't entirely wrong.
It wasn't until he was out with Jimin and his boyfriend Taehyung, nearly a month later, that Yoongi finally agreed to try again. Taehyung, a yoga instructor at a small fitness studio had been extolling the virtues of one of the personal trainers at the gym. "Kook is great, he looks like a total gym rat muscle head, but he's so sweet and shy, it's the weirdest duality I've ever seen."
"And he's gorgeous," Jimin added.
Taehyung nodded sagely. "Smoking hot. Tattoos, wow!"
There was a pause, Yoongi sipped at his drink as Taehyung and Jimin stared at each other for a moment. Yoongi watched, intrigued, as they held a silent conversation. He stiffened slightly when both of their gazes turned to him. "Hyung, you should meet Jungkookie."
“I told you already.” Yoongi frowned, shaking his head. "No more blind dates."
"You're too much of a grumpy cave troll," Jimin insisted, clicking his tongue. "You need something cute and fun in your life, someone cute and fun. You need a date and you need to give Kook a chance. You're going to love him." Under the combined effect of their pouting, Yoongi had relented.
Jimin texted him nearly every day for three weeks, reminding Yoongi that he owed him a thank you for setting him up with Jungkook. Yoongi had sent him flowers and the texts had finally stopped. And now, five weeks into this thing with Jungkook, Yoongi has to admit that Jimin was right. He needed someone cute and fun in his life.
The sound of the buzzer interrupts his thoughts and Yoongi hurries to press the button to open the door. He waits, bouncing on the balls of his feet in the entry way as he waits for Jungkook to arrive. Yoongi wrings his fingers as he counts the seconds, feeling a little silly, a little ridiculous. A soft knock has him springing forward, lips turning up as he throws open the door.
Jungkook is there, standing on Yoongi's doorstep looking soft and sad. He's soaked with rain, his hair and clothes dripping, and he looks like a kicked puppy. "Kook-ah," Yoongi breathes, gesturing Jungkook into the apartment.
Jungkook offers him a sad smile and shoves a hand through his damp hair. "Hi, hyung." He glances down at himself as he toes off his squelching sneakers. "Sorry I'm getting your floor wet."
Yoongi clicks his tongue and waves away the apology. "You don't have to apologize. Come on, let's get you dry."
He doesn't mind mopping up later tonight, little puddles aren't a big deal, not when Jungkook looks so defeated. Yoongi leads the way to his bedroom and heads toward his bathroom. When he turns, he finds Jungkook standing in the middle of the room, shivering slightly. His heart clenches. "What happened?" Yoongi asks as he ducks into the bathroom for a towel.
Jungkook ducks his head so Yoongi can rub the towel over his hair, fluffing up the dark strands. "Some stupid clients," he mumbles, voice slightly muffled by the towel. Jungkook's hand comes up to curl around Yoongi's hip, his palm is cold even through the fabric of Yoongi's shirt. Yoongi just hums, waiting for him to continue at his own pace. "This one lady complained to my boss that I wasn't giving her enough individual attention."
"Don't you only do individual sessions?" Yoongi asks, stepping back and setting the towel on the bed. "How could you not be giving her attention?"
Scowling, Jungkook raises his arms as Yoongi tugs at the hem of his long-sleeve shirt. The material sticks to his skin as Yoongi tugs it up, revealing the toned planes of Jungkook's abs, the sculpted curve of his pecs. Yoongi forces himself to focus as Jungkook continues speaking. "She wants me to fuck her."
Yoongi freezing, shirt halfway off Jungkook's head, his arms in the air. "What?" He continues tugging at the clinging shirt, finally getting it over Jungkook's head and off his arms. The dark ink on Jungkook's right arm is revealed, swirls and etched lines covering his skin, snaking over his shoulder.
"She's a cougar or something, it was ridiculous. Thankfully Hoseok hyung stood up for me but..." he frowns again. "I told her I had a boyfriend and she told me I was too hot to be gay." Yoongi raises an eyebrow and Jungkook sighs. "I know, what a bitch right? She's been banned from the studio." Jungkook pauses and smiles slightly, his fingers squeeze Yoongi's side. "You're much cuter than her."
Yoongi ignores the comment, willing the blush from his cheeks. "Good, I'm glad Hoseok kicked her out." Yoongi picks the towel up again, wiping at Jungkook's damp chest and back. This new into their relationship, Yoongi is nearly perpetually horny, especially at any peek of skin. But now, with Jungkook looking so small and upset, Yoongi can only think of covering Jungkook in more warm, cozy clothing. He squats down and holds out his hands. "Foot up." Jungkook obeys, lifting his foot as Yoongi pulls off one sopping sock and then the other.
When he straightens up, Jungkook is smiling at him, something small and fond. "Thank you, hyung."
Yoongi waves him off again and tugs at the waistband of Jungkook's track pants. "You don't have to thank me, just let me take care of you." It's all he wants, really, to take care of the younger man. They're both adults and Jungkook is obviously capable of caring for himself. With a job and his own apartment. He pays bills, cooks his own food, and manages his life just fine. But Yoongi treasures any moment like this, where he can fuss just a little.
Stepping out of his track pants, Jungkook shivers again, his skin is covered in goosebumps. "I had another guy yell at me because he's not seeing the results he wants. I told him to stick to the plan and stop going to McDonald's after every session and he flipped." Jungkook rolls his eyes. "I'm just tired."
"I know," Yoongi soothes, running the towel along Jungkook's legs, gently patting the newer tattoo on his left thigh dry. "Are your underwear..."
Jungkook flushes and nods. "Yeah..." Jungkook trails off, seeming to realize that, in his distraction of talking about his day, Yoongi has removed most of his wet clothing. The flush climbs higher on his cheeks and he looks away, suddenly shy.
Yoongi can't help his fond smile. It's not like he hasn't seen Jungkook naked before. Honestly, it's only been a handful of times, but it's not as if it's his first look. His mouth still waters nearly every time and he feels like he's been punched in the chest, seeing the sculpted body of his boyfriend on display, but Jungkook is always shy. His strong, confident boyfriend, blushing and nervous, always afraid of disappointing him. As if he could.
"I'll get you dry clothes, take them off." He doesn't wait for a response before turning to his dresser and pulling out new clothes. He's thankful he favors oversized loungewear, though he's sure the pants will be tight. When he turns back, Jungkook is nude in front of him, hands shyly over his groin, looking somehow even softer. Yoongi can't help his fond smile. "Do you want me to help?"
Jungkook's nod, tentative and embarrassed, has Yoongi smiling wider, nearly cooing. He pulls the shirt over Jungkook's head and briefs and sweats up his legs, having Jungkook sit on the bed after so he can crouch and pull on socks. "Better?" Yoongi asks, sitting back on his heels.
"Almost," Jungkook murmurs, tugging Yoongi up by the arm and pulling him to stand between his legs. Yoongi melts a little, one hand squeezing Jungkook’s shoulder as their lips meet in a sweet kiss. Jungkook pulls back and smiles, teeth on display. "That's a little better."
Yoongi rolls his eyes, stepping back and picking up the towel. "I heated you up some stew and -" The kettle whistles, interrupting his sentence. "And I made you tea." Jungkook follows Yoongi out of the bedroom and sits at the table as Yoongi bustles around him, setting a bowl of stew and a mug of tea in front of him. Jungkook eats happily, making satisfied sounds as he shovels stew into his mouth and sips tea.
"I thought I'd never be warm again," Jungkook groans, leaning back in his chair when the bowl is empty.
Yoongi snorts from across the table. "I'm happy to help you thaw out. Warm now?"
"Mostly," Jungkook says with a shrug.
Yoongi stands and grabs Jungkook's bowl and mug. "More tea?"
"Maybe cuddles?" Jungkook suggests tentatively. Yoongi freezes with his back to Jungkook, his hands poised over the sink. Gently, he sets the bowl and mug down and turns on the faucet, buying time.
Yoongi is not a cuddler. He is not tactile and isn't one for casual touch. He's never been, finding that his palms get sweaty or he gets too warm. And it makes him nervous, a little anxious, though he can't really explain why. He thinks he used to like touch, maybe, he can’t really remember. His last boyfriend had been almost cold, barely touching Yoongi outside of sex. Touch averse, his boyfriend had called it. Yoongi had gotten used to that, it became the norm, their norm, his norm. "How about I get you a warm blanket?" he hedges.
Jungkook pouts at him, eyes wide and pleading. "Babe, please?" he tries again. Yoongi's heart does a flip in his chest at the pet name. Yoongi knows Jungkook enjoys touch, craves it, and wants to be always touching Yoongi. There are gently clinging hands and warm hugs, brushes of his fingers that have Yoongi jumping in surprise half the time. They had talked about it, of course, when Jungkook asked if he was making him uncomfortable after Yoongi flinched away from his touch. It was embarrassing, and Yoongi was sure Jungkook would stand up and leave. But he had just smiled, a little sadly, and said it was okay.
But Yoongi could tell it wasn't entirely okay. So he agrees. "Okay, Kook, come on."
They settle onto the couch with the TV playing, Yoongi sitting on one end with Jungkook in his lap, sprawled across his thighs. Jungkook is larger than Yoongi, in height and mass, so it feels a little awkward. It feels almost like Yoongi has a big puppy in his lap, large and gangly. His thighs ache a little from where Jungkook is sitting on them and he's a little too warm. But...he doesn't hate it.
He thinks it would be impossible to hate this. He likes the way Jungkook is clinging to him, fingers wound in the fabric of Yoongi's shirt. His head is resting on Yoongi's shoulder, nuzzling into his collarbone. Jungkook is making soft, contented sounds, dreamy sighs as Yoongi cards his fingers through Jungkook's fluffy hair. Despite their size difference and the awkward positioning, they fit well together, and it feels almost nice, comfortable. And he can tell Jungkook loves it, loves the touch and attention.
"Thank you, hyung," Jungkook whispers, breath ghosting along Yoongi's neck.
Yoongi smiles and drops a kiss to the crown of his head. "Of course, Kook-ah." Despite the mild discomfort he feels from Jungkook’s weight, Yoongi can endure it for Jungkook.
♥ ♡ ♥
Yoongi turns at the sound of his name, looking up from his phone screen to see Jungkook striding down the sidewalk toward him. He smiles, shoving his phone in his pocket and waving as his boyfriend approaches. "Hi, Jungkookie."
Jungkook reaches him and wraps an arm around his waist, pulling Yoongi into a kiss. Yoongi nearly freezes, acutely aware that they're in public. He kisses back shortly, almost woodenly, but Jungkook doesn't seem to mind, just smiling and squeezing him once before letting him go. Yoongi steps back, putting some space between them.
Something flashes in Jungkook's eyes but he doesn't comment, just holds the door for Yoongi to enter the bar. "Sorry I'm late," he says as they step inside. "You could have gone in without me."
"It's alright," Yoongi insists, "I didn't mind waiting."
Their friends are standing near the bar, the five other men gathered at the end of the long counter and talking animatedly. Seokjin and Jimin seem to be arguing about something as the rest of them look on in amusement.
"Oh thank God," Namjoon says when he spots them, bodily pushing Seokjin to the side to interrupt whatever he was saying to Jimin.
"What's happening?" Jungkook asks, looking around the group.
Hoseok huffs out a put-upon sigh. "They were doing the thing again."
Yoongi nods in understanding, he thinks it's foreplay at this point. One of them will start an argument about who the hottest in their group is and it only escalates. "Honestly, if the two of you just fucked it would probably solve everything."
"Excuse you," Seokjin snaps, "why would I fuck Jimin?"
Jimin snorts. "Bold of you to assume you'd be doing the fucking, hyung."
"Jimin is also dating Taehyung," Namjoon adds.
Taehyung waves a hand. "Oh, I don't mind. As long as I can watch." He pauses, tilts his head. "Or join."
There's a beat of silence as Jimin and Seokjin stare at each other. Jungkook takes the opportunity to reach for Yoongi's hand. Yoongi stiffens, spine going rigid, and Jungkook's hand falls away. He doesn't miss Hoseok's glance between them. Yoongi forces himself not to take a step away when Jungkook does it again, linking their fingers just for a moment. Yoongi keeps his gaze straight ahead, trying to focus on talking to Namjoon until Jungkook removes his hand again.
They stand and talk for a while, waiting for a table to open as they drink beer and discuss their weeks. Jungkook doesn’t try to hold his hand again, and Yoongi is very pointedly not looking at him. He is afraid of what he’ll see, afraid Jungkook will be upset. Yoongi enjoys happy hour, especially now, with Jungkook there. Adding Jungkook into their hangouts had been easy, he fit perfectly into the group and everyone instantly adored him. But Jungkook is always so close.
Yoongi flinches as Jungkook's hand brushes against his lower back, Jimin zeroes in. "Ah, there he is." Yoongi just glowers and Jimin grins before continuing. "Grumpy hyung, always so cold."
Jungkook doesn't comment but his hand immediately moves away. "Hyung hates PDA," Hoseok adds, “you think you'd know by now.” Jungkook doesn’t respond and Yoongi glances over, seeing his jaw clenched.
"Not just PDA," Taehyung chuckles, "I don't think he likes being touched at all. How do you have sex from across the room?"
Yoongi feels his cheeks heat and he feels Jungkook stiffen beside him. His heart clenches a little when Jungkook takes a small, deliberate step away from him. Yoongi feels bad, he can see Jungkook is upset, see the pinch in his brow and the downturn of his lips. As uncomfortable as Yoongi is with cuddling and casual touch, PDA is the hardest for him.
He and Jungkook have talked about boundaries multiple times, talked about their wants and needs. Yoongi had mentioned his aversion to public displays of affection. Jungkook was, as always, understanding. It had been refreshing, in some ways, to lay things out on the table. Their love languages don’t always match up, and Jungkook’s need for touch makes Yoongi a little nervous. He doesn’t want to ruin things just because he’s squirmy and awkward. Yoongi had agreed to try to step out of his comfort zone, be more open, but it's still hard. Jungkook never crosses any boundaries, but sometimes he pushes, just a little, and Yoongi has to fight off the itch in his skin. But now, seeing the way Jungkook glances away as Jimin continues to tease, Yoongi feels like he's the one who is wrong.
The tension is broken when a table finally opens and they slide into the large semi-circular booth. Jungkook is stiff beside him, eyes fixed on the table as their friends continue poking fun at them. Jungkook looks uncomfortable and refuses to look at Yoongi. Unhappiness radiates off him and it makes Yoongi feel like a monster. He knows Jungkook wants to touch him but is holding himself back, knows Jungkook won’t pressure him. The last thing Jungkook wants is to hurt him, and Yoongi feels the same way. He can tell he’s doing it now, hurting Jungkook. Taking a deep breath, Yoongi shifts a little closer so their legs are brushing, and sets his hand, very deliberately, on Jungkook's thigh.
There's an intake of breath and when Yoongi looks up, Jungkook is watching him, eyes wide. Yoongi smiles, a nervous, tentative lift of his lips, and bumps their shoulders together. Jungkook returns the smile and hesitantly lifts his arm, draping it over Yoongi's shoulders. There's a moment where it feels like too much, a crushing weight, and Yoongi nearly scoots away. But it's warm and almost comfortable, comforting, Jungkook's scent surrounds him, the heat of his skin makes Yoongi feel suddenly safe. He finds himself relaxing, melting into Jungkook's side.
"What's all this?" Seokjin points between them, eyebrows raised.
Jimin leans forward, eyeing them. "Maybe hyung is coming out of his little hermit crab shell. Out sweet Jungkookie is -"
"Enough," Yoongi growls, "leave Jungkook alone."
The table goes quiet for a moment and then Namjoon clears his throat. "My boss brought in her new puppy today," Namjoon offers and the conversation immediately moves on.
Yoongi feels lips press to his temple and looks over, seeing Jungkook smiling at him. His nose is scrunched and his eyes are creased. Yoongi can feel himself blushing as he leans closer into Jungkook's space. Lifting a little, Yoongi tilts his head and presses a soft kiss to Jungkook's cheek. He pointedly ignores Taehyung's coo from across the table.
♥ ♡ ♥
Yoongi doesn't remember whose idea it was to put on a movie. He also doesn't remember whose idea it was to watch the movie in Jungkook's bedroom instead of his living room. But he does remember that it was Jungkook who made the first move. It was Jungkook who shifted on the bed, turning onto his side and sliding a hand beneath the hem of Yoongi’s shirt. Yoongi responded immediately, rolling to mirror him and press their lips together. Yoongi isn’t sure how much time has passed, the low drone of the movie in the background is mostly drowned out by the sound of their mouths sliding together.
Yoongi can feel himself getting hard, their bodies are pressed flush together and the way Jungkook swirls his tongue makes Yoongi’s head spin. Yoongi doesn’t protest when Jungkook pulls off his shirt, immediately stroking his warm hands along Yoongi’s chest and side. Yoongi shifts, tugging at Jungkook’s shirt until he lifts and allows Yoongi to pull it off of him. His fingertips skim down Jungkook’s chest and over his nipples. He admires the firmness of his boyfriend’s pecs, the hard planes of his abs. He loves how strong Jungkook is, the flex of his muscles as he strokes along Yoongi’s skin.
Jungkook moans, pressing his hips firmly into Yoongi’s as Yoongi pinches one of his nipples. “Ah, hyung,” Jungkook gasps against his lips. Yoongi smiles and rubs his thumb over the hardened bud.
A moan pushes past Yoongi’s own lips as Jungkook presses a thigh between his legs, applying pressure to Yoongi’s growing erection. It feels good, so good. Yoongi ruts against him, grinding himself on Jungkook’s thigh. They’ve only done this a few times. It’s still new and exciting, they’re still learning each other’s wants and likes; the things that make them beg for more. Like the way Jungkook is tensing his leg and applying pressure to Yoongi’s fully hard cock. Heat shoots through his body in waves with every rub against him.
Yoongi groans, feeling the shift of Jungkook’s muscles as he rolls onto his back and drags Yoongi on top of him. Jungkook’s hands move immediately to his ass as their lips crash together again. Jungkook’s hands squeeze through his jeans, palming him almost roughly, greedily.
“Kook,” Yoongi gasps, pulling back to look down at his boyfriend’s flushed face, meeting his hooded eyes, “will you fuck me?”
Jungkook’s eyes go wide, the cloudy haze of lust leaving them as he focuses on Yoongi’s face. “Are you sure? We haven’t…” he trails off, looking nervous.
Yoongi understands. They’ve fooled around a good number of times by now, hands and mouths touching and tasting. But they’ve only had actual sex a couple of times. It’s been amazing, mind blowing and perfect as they connected, but so far Yoongi has been the one topping. This would be different, something new. Yoongi’s dick twitches in his pants, straining against his zipper, as he imagines Jungkook’s thick cock fucking into him.
“Yeah,” Yoongi breathes, rolling his hips down against Jungkook’s obvious bulge. “Want you, Kook,” he murmurs, nipping at Jungkook’s bottom lip. “Please?”
Jungkook nods jerkily, his fingers squeezing into Yoongi’s ass again, and then there are hands everywhere. It’s a flurry of movement, needy moans and huffed laughs as they try to get each other’s pants off. Yoongi feels like he’s all thumbs as he tugs helplessly at Jungkook’s belt. Jungkook isn’t faring much better, nearly tearing Yoongi’s underwear and almost falling off the bed when he tries to free his stuck foot from the leg of his pants.
Finally nude, they pause, panting against each other’s lips as they return to their previous position of Yoongi laying on top of Jungkook. He stares down into Jungkook’s warm brown eyes, he can see the little bit of nervousness there, but it’s overshadowed by desire and fondness now.
“I thought you were going to take me out with your knee,” Yoongi teases, balancing against Jungkook’s chest with his elbows.
Jungkook snorts, rubbing his warm palms up and down Yoongi’s back. “That’s all we need, imagine what everyone would say, what Jimin would say! Oh, Yoongi hyung, how did you get that black eye?” Jungkook’s impression of Jimin is spot on. “And you’ll have to respond with Jungkook kneed me in the face when he got stuck in his pants.”
Yoongi giggles, collapsing against Jungkook’s chest as Jungkook’s laughter reverberates through him. Yoongi’s breath hitches, laughter cutting off abruptly when Jungkook flips their positions again. His back hits the mattress and he’s left a little winded, staring up into Jungkook’s scrunchy-nose smile. Jungkook leans in to connect their lips again, tongue sweeping into his mouth and Yoongi melts.
Breaking the kiss, Jungkook peppers a trail down Yoongi's jaw to his neck, nipping and licking at the column of his throat. Yoongi moans, back arching off the mattress, as Jungkook's teeth close around his earlobe, sucking on the skin and tugging at the hoops in his ear. Jungkook continues down, trailing kisses down Yoongi's shoulder and licking at the dip of his collarbones. Teeth nip at the skin of his chest and Yoongi whimpers, hands clenching in the blankets, as Jungkook's tongue flicks over one of his nipples. A moan bubbles from his lips when Jungkook closes his lips around Yoongi's nipple, sucking at the skin and tugging lightly with his teeth.
"You're so gorgeous," Jungkook murmurs, his breath tickling over the damp skin of Yoongi's chest. He shivers at the sensation, eyes fluttering open to see Jungkook watching him with dark eyes, his pupils blown wide.
Yoongi can't respond, doesn't really know how to, just closes his eyes and tries to bite back the whine trying to crawl up his throat. He's never been great with compliments. It's not that he doesn't like them, because he does, he loves Jungkook's quiet praise, his fawning, but he doesn't know how to accept them. He thinks it’s partly not feeling like he deserves them, and partly not knowing what to do with the sensation they cause. They shoot straight to his core and make Yoongi feel flustered and blushy, unsure how to respond when he's called cute or pretty.
"You look so good under me," Jungkook continues, lips trailing down Yoongi's stomach. Yoongi groans, hips jumping, as Jungkook licks a stripe along his cock. His muscles clench at the feeling of Jungkook's lips on his legs, the pressure of teeth on his inner thighs.
His hands come up of their own accord, tangling in Jungkook's dark hair as he laps at Yoongi's balls, tongue tracing over the sensitive skin. Yoongi groans, trying not to squirm, when Jungkook sucks one testicle and then the other into his mouth, tongue rolling as he suckles gently.
"Jungkook," Yoongi gasps out, unsure what he's even trying to say. It just feels like a lot, like so much.
Jungkook pulls back and leans up on his elbows. "Is this okay?"
"Yeah, I just -" Yoongi cuts off. "It feels good. It's - it's a lot." Yoongi has had sex before with other partners, has had sex before with Jungkook. But this feels different, he's never had someone take their time like this, kiss him all over and look at his body like it's something to be worshipped. It's a little overwhelming, the way Jungkook touches him as if he is precious, the way his lips seem to try to reach every bit of skin on his body.
"Do you want me to stop?" Jungkook asks, sitting back on his knees.
Yoongi stares at him, momentarily shocked. Of course he doesn't want Jungkook to stop. Not Jungkook, who is sitting back on his knees with a sculpted Adonis body and the sweetest, fondest expression on his face. The duality is fierce, as Jungkook watches him with concern and sweat glistens on his abs. Yoongi swallows. "No, baby," he insists, "I don't want you to stop."
If Jungkook stops, Yoongi thinks he might explode.
Jungkook smiles, a flash of teeth and scrunched nose. "Tell me if it's too much, yeah?" Yoongi nods and Jungkook leans to the side, reaching for the drawer of his end table and returning with a condom and lube. "Can you hand me a pillow?"
Yoongi blinks and lifts his head, pulling one of the pillows from beneath him and handing it to Jungkook. Jungkook takes it with a murmured thanks and slides it under Yoongi's hips. "Tell me if you're uncomfortable or anything, okay?" Yoongi nods and Jungkook smiles again, his hand gripping Yoongi's cock loosely at the base now.
Yoongi smiles back, endeared, but that quickly fades, smile vanishing as a moan is punched from his chest. Jungkook's mouth is on him with no warning, immediately sinking down and nearly swallowing him in one go. Warm wetness engulfs him and Yoongi writhes on the bed, trying to keep his hips from bucking up. Yoongi barely even registers the pop of the cap on the lube bottle, too caught up in the feeling of Jungkook's lips sliding along his cock, the way the head of his cock hits the back of Jungkook's throat.
Jungkook pulls back slowly, until just the tip of Yoongi's cock is in his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the crown, sucking lightly, as Yoongi feels a finger prod at his rim. Yoongi opens his eyes, staring at Jungkook's mouth stretched around his dick. He wills himself to relax, fighting the sudden urge to clench, as Jungkook's finger sinks in to the knuckle. Yoongi groans, eyes fluttering closed as Jungkook begins to slowly move his finger.
The feeling of being overwhelmed only grows, it almost feels like too much. The way Jungkook is taking care of him, fingers moving inside of him while his mouth works over his length, other hand stroking Yoongi's hip - it's fuck. Yoongi doesn't know how to describe it. He wouldn't say experiences with previous partners were unsatisfying or bad, but they were nothing like this. Maybe it's as simple as sexual chemistry, that they're just compatible in bed. But as Yoongi opens his eyes again and looks down, seeing Jungkook watching him with molten chocolate eyes, Yoongi doesn't think that's entirely it.
Jungkook makes him feel safe, here with two fingers inside of Yoongi's body, working him open so slowly, Yoongi has never felt so cared for. And this isn't something Yoongi thought he wanted, thought he needed. But the way Jungkook touches him makes him feel like he's on fire, a deep smolder that has Yoongi nearly in tears.
"You okay?" Jungkook asks, mouth pulling away from Yoongi's cock and hand replacing it to stroke him gently. "Does it feel alright?"
Yoongi nods jerkily and licks his drool-coated lips. "Yeah," he rasps, "feels good, Kook, really good."
A third finger slides past his rim, the stretch burning for a few seconds. Pleasure overtakes it as Jungkook continues stroking his cock, squeezing at the head. Jungkook's fingers spread inside of him, pads of his fingers sliding along his walls and - Yoongi arches off the bed, a strangled moan leaving his mouth when Jungkook's fingers brush his prostate. Jungkook hums in contentment and dips down again, taking Yoongi's cock back into his mouth as his fingers rub over the bundle of nerves.
Heat pools in Yoongi's belly, gathering from the tips of his fingers and toes as Jungkook continues his ministrations. Yoongi feels like he's barely hanging on, like he'll fall over the edge at any moment. "Jungkook," he gasps, tugging at his boyfriend's dark hair. "Gonna come if you don't stop."
Pulling off Yoongi's dick with a pop, Jungkook sits up on his knees and licks his swollen lips. "You ready?" Yoongi nods, fighting back a whimper as Jungkook's fingers slowly slide out of his hole. "Okay," Jungkook finishes, grabbing the condom and sliding it down his length. His cock is flushed and leaking, looking almost painfully hard. But Jungkook hadn't said anything, hadn't asked for anything, content to make Yoongi feel good, to focus on his pleasure. Yoongi isn't as used to that as he thinks he should be.
Jungkook lines himself up, free hand lifting one of Yoongi's legs and pushing it up and to the side. Yoongi's head falls back against the pillow as Jungkook breaches his rim, the stretch as his thick cock slides slowly into him is maddening. Jungkook continues to press forward until he's fully sheathed inside of him and Yoongi can't hold in his moan. Yoongi feels so full, he knew Jungkook was big, but it feels like he's huge, like he's hitting every spot inside of him. Yoongi feels hot all over, mind filled with buzzing static, as Jungkook begins to move.
The pace is slow, Jungkook pushes in deeply, the drag of his cock along Yoongi's walls slow and steady. Jungkook leans forward and rests his forearms on the bed, settling himself over Yoongi's body and caging him in. He keeps moving, hips working, as he draws Yoongi into a kiss. It's sweet, warm, amazing. Yoongi feels enveloped, cocooned by Jungkook's body as he winds his arms around his boyfriend's neck and presses them closer together. Their lips move, tongues tangling together, and Jungkook keeps fucking him slow and deep.
It's so much, so good, but at the same time, it's not enough. Yoongi breaks the kiss and turns his head to the side, panting to catch his breath. Jungkook's lips move to his neck, pressing kisses to his sweaty skin. "Jungkook," Yoongi whispers, voice sounding wrecked, "more." Jungkook pauses his movements and lifts his head, studying Yoongi's face. "Please," Yoongi pleads, wrapping his legs around Jungkook's waist.
There's a flash of something in Jungkook's eyes, dark and hungry, and then he's sliding his hands under Yoongi's body. "Hold onto me," he rasps, voice lower and deeper than Yoongi has ever heard it. Yoongi obeys at once, holding tight to Jungkook's neck and tightening his legs around Jungkook's waist. He squeaks, eyes widening, as Jungkook hauls both of them up so he's balanced on his knees.
"Don't let go," Jungkook cautions, sliding toward the edge of the bed, Yoongi wrapped around him like a koala.
Jungkook stands and straightens up, lifting Yoongi like he weighs nothing. His cock slips out of Yoongi's hole and Yoongi whines at the emptiness, burying his face in Jungkook's neck. "I've got you," Jungkook promises. Then they're moving, Jungkook gripping his ass tightly and crossing the room. Yoongi's back hits the wall with a thunk and Jungkook slides back into him in one smooth motion, slamming into Yoongi's body with enough force that Yoongi is jostled up the wall, shoulder blades hitting plaster with a sting.
Yoongi nearly screams, head falling back against the smooth wall as Jungkook begins pistoning his hips. His hands grip Yoongi's cheeks, spreading him open as his cock slides in and out of him in a punishing, almost frantic pace. He uses his hold on Yoongi to move him as well, driving Yoongi's body down to meet his thrusts and spear him on his cock.
"You feel so fucking good," Jungkook growls, face buried in Yoongi's neck. Yoongi can't respond, too caught up in the pleasure, tongue lolling from his mouth as Jungkook pounds into him.
Jungkook's strength is amazing, muscles flexing as he manhandles Yoongi just how he wants, the strain in his back and shoulders visible as he shifts just slightly and rams into Yoongi's prostate. Yoongi's pretty sure he does scream this time, white-hot pleasure coursing through him, as the new angle causes Jungkook's cock to hit his prostate with every thrust. One of Jungkook's hands leaves his ass and Yoongi is pressed more firmly against the wall, caged in as Jungkook snakes his hand between their bodies.
"Jungkook, fuck," Yoongi gasps, as Jungkook fists his cock and begins stroking in time with his harsh thrusts. His wrist flicks on the upstroke, thumb sliding over the head of Yoongi's cock and Yoongi comes with a wail, his orgasm hitting him suddenly. A truck crashes into him, his eyes roll and his fingernails bite into Jungkook's skin as he comes apart in his arms. Jungkook curses, his teeth sinking into Yoongi's shoulder as his hips stutter and he fills the condom, cock pulsing inside Yoongi's body as he finds his release.
They don't move for a few minutes, Jungkook holding Yoongi against the wall and panting harshly into his neck. Yoongi trembles in his arms, trying to relearn how to breathe as he clutches Jungkook's shoulders. "You alright?" Yoongi rasps finally, head lolling against the wall.
Jungkook huffs and lifts his head from Yoongi's shoulder. "Fuck," he groans, "fuck yeah, that was -" he shakes his head. "Fuck."
Yoongi chuckles. "Eloquent,” he rasps.
"You put it better," Jungkook challenges, taking a deep breath and stepping away from the wall. Yoongi peels away from the paint with a hiss, his shoulders aching a little from where they'd been trapped.
"It was -" Yoongi blanks. "Fuck."
Jungkook laughs and crosses back to the bed, shifting and gently laying Yoongi on the mattress, slipping out of him slowly. Yoongi whines, flinching at the emptiness as he melts into the bed. "I'll get a towel, hold on."
Yoongi stares at the ceiling, dragging a shaking hand across his face as Jungkook disappears. He tries to take stock of the situation and of his body. His toes are completely numb and there's already a delicious ache starting in his lower back. He feels content, satiated, warm all over. He's just had what could probably be categorized as the best sex of his life, primal and a little animalistic, but also so sweet and attentive. It makes his head spin, the feeling of Jungkook caging him in was new and...so amazing. Yoongi wants space, craves it, not necessarily even liking positions where he isn't always in control. But this is different, the way Jungkook makes him feel, makes him want to let go. It's doing something to him, sending shivers down his spine and -
His eyes snap open as he feels a warm towel swiping along his skin. Jungkook is hovering over him, cleaning Yoongi up gently with a damp cloth. "I thought you fell asleep," Jungkook teases.
Yoongi huffs and shakes his head. "Just thinking."
"Oh?" Jungkook prompts, sounding a little nervous. "About what?"
"You." Yoongi smiles. "Us." He takes in Jungkook's eyes widening. "Only good things, I promise."
Jungkook straightens up. "I hope so." There’s a small smile and a tilt of Jungkook’s head as he watches Yoongi’s face.
Yoongi pushes himself up into a sitting position, his limbs feel a little like jelly. "What do you want to do now? Do you want me to go or maybe we could go get dinner or -"
"We're going to cuddle now," Jungkook says evenly.
Yoongi blinks at him. "You want to cuddle?"
Jungkook rolls his eyes. "Yes, Yoongi hyung, I want to cuddle after sex,” he declares. “I want to hold you and kiss you after fucking you against the wall. I want some aftercare here, too. We've cuddled after sex before."
Have they? Sort of, Yoongi guesses. They've watched a movie and sat together on the couch, shoulders touching, after trading messy handjobs. They blew each other and then held hands for a while last week. Do those count? But they've often had to do things after, as well, go meet friends or Jungkook needs to leave because he has an early client. Neither of them has even spent the night at the other's apartment. Yoongi swallows hard, he's sweaty and a little sticky, he doesn't necessarily want to cuddle when he's like this. But he's not going to deny Jungkook aftercare, not going to deny him something he obviously wants.
Yoongi flops back onto the bed and holds out his arms, beckoning Jungkook closer. Jungkook smiles, nose scrunching and eyes creasing, and crawls onto the bed. He curls around Yoongi's body, one leg thrown over Yoongi's thighs and an arm over his waist. Jungkook settles his head on Yoongi's chest, just over his heart, and sighs happily. Yoongi feels twitchy and stiff at first, they're both still sweaty and Jungkook's skin feels tacky and a little too warm. Yoongi doesn't know exactly what to do, settling for resting a hand on Jungkook's back and staring at the ceiling.
Slowly, gradually, Yoongi feels himself relaxing. The soft sound of Jungkook's breathing and Jungkook's fingers tracing small circles on his hip bone lull him into peace. The warmth evens out to something nice, like a weighted blanket over him. Yoongi brings his hand up to Jungkook's hair, carding through the strands as his eyes slip closed. This is nice.
"Hyung," Jungkook whispers a bit later, voice soft and shy. Yoongi hums in acknowledgement, curling his other arm around Jungkook's back. "Hyung," he continues, "I really like you."
Yoongi smiles, eyes fluttering open as he lifts his head to look down. Jungkook is peering up at him through his lashes, looking small and unsure. "I like you too, Jungkook," Yoongi murmurs, stroking Jungkook's hair, "so much." And he does, he likes Jungkook and he likes this, likes the feel of Jungkook against him.
Jungkook's smile flashes and then he rests his head back down, nuzzling against Yoongi's pectoral. They talk quietly for a while as they snuggle together, Jungkook pressing occasional kisses to Yoongi's chest. Yoongi holds Jungkook a little tighter, realizing, quite suddenly, that this is something he could get used to.
♥ ♡ ♥
His heart pounds as he clicks on the email, palms beginning to sweat as he scans the text. "Holy shit," he mumbles to himself. He leans back in his chair and runs both hands through his hair. "Holy fucking shit."
Yoongi knows he's a good producer, knows that he's in demand and he makes good music. He works with all sorts of groups and artists, working with them on tracks and writing songs for them. He's worked with big and small names and he does well. It is a fact, at this point, that Yoongi is good. But suddenly having proof of that...being validated is - well it's almost too much. The email has his heart racing, knowing that one of his favorite groups has specifically requested to work for him. He's over the moon, he feels like he could scream, maybe cry.
Picking up his phone, Yoongi pulls up his message history with Jungkook, wanting to text him immediately. He's halfway through typing out a message when there's a knock on his studio door. Standing, Yoongi sets his phone on his desk and crosses to his door. It might be his boss, come to congratulate him or talk about this opportunity or - it's not his boss.
Jungkook is standing on the little mat outside Yoongi's studio door, beaming at him. He holds up a brown paper bag. "I brought you lunch."
A rush of warmth surges through him, straight to his fingers and toes. He's surprised, definitely shocked, but he's pleased as well. No one has ever brought him lunch before, not like this. Not a boyfriend or someone he was dating, no one has ever done something like this. It feels weird, but in a good way.
They set up lunch on the coffee table in Yoongi's studio, Jungkook sitting on the couch and Yoongi pulling up his desk chair. They chat for a bit as they eat but Jungkook soon realizes something is up.
"Why are you so fidgety?" Jungkook asks finally, scanning Yoongi's body. Yoongi realizes his leg is bouncing and his fingers are shaky as they lift his chopsticks. "Are you okay?"
"Um." Yoongi sets down his chopsticks. "Yeah, I'm great actually." Jungkook raises an eyebrow, prompting him to continue. "I got an email today, Epik High wants me for their new album."
Jungkook blinks at him, setting down his own chopsticks. "Epik High. The Epik High?" Yoongi nods. "Holy shit, hyung, you love them. They requested you?"
"Yeah, they -" Yoongi stops mid-sentence when Jungkook surges to his feet and comes around the coffee table. Yoongi squeaks as Jungkook pulls him out of his chair and into his arms. Yoongi's feet leave the floor as Jungkook crushes him to his chest, twirling him around and pressing kisses to his cheeks.
Yoongi grips Jungkook's shoulders for dear life, completely caught off guard. He can feel that his cheeks are bright red. He's having a hard time processing his emotions. He feels 50% turned on because wow Jungkook is strong, 50% happy because...well this is kind of nice and 100% flustered. Jungkook stops spinning and steps back, falling onto the couch with Yoongi across his legs.
Yoongi doesn't have a chance to say anything before Jungkook's mouth is on his, warm lips pressing to his own. "You deserve this," Jungkook whispers against his lips. Yoongi feels warm all over, sitting here, on Jungkook's lap, in Jungkook's arms, being kissed like he is amazing and perfect. Yoongi melts, choosing to accept the fact that he likes it. He likes the affection, likes Jungkook doting on him. The feel of Jungkook's strong arms holding him close and their tongues sliding together feels right.
There have been times when Yoongi has felt almost broken, confused by his body’s reaction to touch. He feels like he’s being slowly drawn out of some kind of shell he didn’t realize existed. He’s realizing, in fits and starts, that maybe he doesn’t hate touch and cuddling as much as he thought. It feels nice, to hold and to be held. Jungkook makes him feel warm and safe, makes him happy. This is something he could get used to, something he’d like to get used to. With a soft sound, Yoongi winds his arms around Jungkook's neck and tilts his head, smiling into the kiss.
♥ ♡ ♥
Yoongi lets his head tilt to the side, resting against the firmness of Jungkook's shoulder. Jungkook squeezes his side as Yoongi shifts a little closer, turning his head to press a kiss to Yoongi's hair. They're on Yoongi's couch, watching the new episode of a drama they've been enjoying together. Yoongi has been getting a little more comfortable with the affection, the cuddling, the casual touching. It's harder for him to initiate, for him to know exactly what he wants or needs, still trying to figure out his own signals and desires. But Jungkook doesn't hesitate as much to pull Yoongi close. Yoongi finds he enjoys it most of the time, liking the feeling of Jungkook's hands on him, his lips against his temple, his arm around his waist.
"Ah," Jungkook says suddenly, sitting up and glancing at his watch. "It's getting late, I should probably head out."
"Oh," Yoongi glances at the window, seeing how dark it's become. "Do you want to, um, stay?"
"Yes.” Yoongi chuckles. “You can sleepover. If you want?" Yoongi feels suddenly a little nervous, though they’ve been dating for nearly two months now and they’ve had sex far more than a handful of times, they haven’t slept at one another’s apartments yet. He can see his nervousness mirrored on Jungkook’s face. "You can say no," Yoongi offers, voice gentle.
"No," Jungkook says quickly and Yoongi deflates, feeling like he's been doused with cold water.
"Oh," Yoongi says quietly and straightens up, clearing his throat. "Well, I can call you a cab maybe or -"
"No, no, shit," Jungkook grabs Yoongi's hand before he can stand. "I meant no as in no I don't want to say no. I meant -" he pauses, takes a deep breath. "Yes. I'd like to stay."
Yoongi looks down at their clasped hands, feeling the coldness seep away where they connect. "Okay." Yoongi smiles, shy and excited. "Yeah, I want you to stay too." Yoongi doesn't resist when Jungkook pulls him in to press their lips together.
It's been a long time since Yoongi's brushed his teeth with someone else. Which shouldn't be a big deal, they're just standing in Yoongi's bathroom in front of the mirror. Yoongi had found an extra toothbrush and they shared his toothpaste and now they're here - brushing their teeth side by side. It's domestic and it feels big, like this is some kind of monumental step they're taking. Yoongi doesn't think he should feel so nervous, as Jungkook's elbow bumps his arm and their eyes meet in the mirror, but he can't help the butterflies. He wants this, the comfort and bubbling warmth he feels with Jungkook next to him in his tiny bathroom.
"Do you want sweatpants or anything?" Yoongi asks when they make their way into the bedroom. He watches, unable to avert his eyes as Jungkook shucks his sweatshirt and jeans, leaving him in tight boxer briefs and a t-shirt. The dark ink on his arm disappears under the sleeve, Yoongi knowing it extends up to his shoulder and just around to his back. The roses on his thigh, now fully healed, disappear in a tangle of thorny vines beneath his underwear. Yoongi tears his eyes away when Jungkook responds.
"I'm alright, if this is okay with you."
"Of course," Yoongi says immediately. It is more than okay, Jungkook looks good, tan muscled skin on display, the stark lines of his tattoos making Yoongi's mouth fill with saliva. "You're fine, Kook."
Yoongi tugs off his own jeans and shirt and pulls on a soft sleepshirt. When he turns around, Jungkook is pulling back the blankets. "Do you have a preferred side?" Jungkook asks as he fluffs the pillows.
"This one is fine," Yoongi murmurs, moving to the other side of the bed and pulling back his own covers. They slip under the sheets and Yoongi turns off his bedside lamp. When he rolls onto his side, Jungkook is already there, facing him across the sheets.
"I'm glad you wanted me to stay," he murmurs, smiling softly in the semi-darkness of the room.
Yoongi smiles and scoots forward, placing a hard on Jungkook's hip. "I'm glad you wanted to stay.” Jungkook wraps his arm around Yoongi's waist and tugs him close, connecting their lips. They kiss softly for a few minutes, eyes closed and hands softly stroking along sides and back as their lips move lazily. Yoongi smiles into the kiss as he finally pulls back, squeezing Jungkook's side. "Good night, Kook," he whispers, and rolls over onto his other side. Yoongi tucks himself into a ball, hands between his thighs, and closes his eyes.
"Good night, hyung," Jungkook murmurs.
Yoongi's eyes fly open as the mattress shifts and a warm weight appears at his back. Jungkook has rolled with him and pressed himself flush to Yoongi's back, pulling Yoongi against his chest with a hand against his stomach. Yoongi blinks into the darkness as Jungkook's hand slips under his shirt and rests against his skin. Jungkook's lips press to his neck in a soft kiss and then he nuzzles his nose into Yoongi's hair and sighs.
Frozen, Yoongi can only lay there, barely breathing, as Jungkook's warm breath tickles the back of his neck. He begins to squirm, fidgeting in Jungkook's grasp. He feels caged in, like it's too much. Yoongi doesn't think he's ever slept with someone like this, holding onto him so tightly. His ex would sleep as far away as possible, honestly Yoongi's surprised the man didn't build a pillow wall between them. Yoongi blinks away the train of thought, thinking, not for the first time, that his previous relationship doesn't sound exactly normal.
"Jungkook," Yoongi whispers, "what are you doing?"
Jungkook makes a soft sound and hugs Yoongi a little tighter. "Sleeping," he whispers back, the tickle of breath against his neck making Yoongi shiver.
"I don't like to be touched when I sleep," Yoongi says firmly, trying to squirm out of Jungkook's arms.
Jungkook huffs. "I sleep better if I'm holding something," he whines.
"Then hold a pillow," Yoongi snaps.
There's silence as Jungkook freezes, his breathing stops. Yoongi closes his eyes, silently cursing himself. He didn't need to be so harsh, didn't mean to be, doesn't know why he was. Before he can apologize, Jungkook's hand slips out from under his shirt and he scoots away. Yoongi feels suddenly cold, suddenly alone on the vast expanse of his queen size mattress. Yoongi rolls over slowly, finding himself faced with Jungkook's back.
"Baby," he whispers, tentative, "I'm sorry." Jungkook doesn't respond, but he shifts a little, pulling the covers up higher. Yoongi scoots a little closer and rests a hand on Jungkook's hip, feeling his boyfriend stiffen. "I didn't mean to -" he breaks off. Didn't mean to what? "I'm sorry."
With a sigh, Jungkook rolls over and stares at him. He looks hurt, eyes a little glassy, lips turned down in a frown. "You didn't have to snap at me," he says finally.
"I know, I didn't mean to. I don't know why I did I just..." he trails off.
Jungkook sighs again and rubs at his face with one hand. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable Yoongi, but we've talked about this." They have. "You said you would try to compromise." He did. "I've been trying to respect your boundaries and I thought things were going well?"
"They were," Yoongi whispers, "they are." He licks his lips, feeling a little frantic. "I'm sorry, Jungkook. This is really really new for me. I've never slept with someone like this before, not really." He's shared a bed with Jimin once or twice and put up with cuddling, but he's never really had a relationship or hook up or anything where they cuddled to sleep. He doesn't know what to do, what to think. Maybe he's scared, which seems stupid. He's not sure what he could possibly be afraid of. Afraid that he'll like it? Afraid that he won't?
"You haven't..." Jungkook trails off, eyes wide.
Yoongi shrugs as well as he can for lying on his side. "I told you about my last relationship. I'm sorry."
Jungkook scoots a little closer and tentatively places his hand on Yoongi's hip. "I'm sorry too, I'm not trying to push you. We can go slower, or stay at the same pace. It's okay if you don't want me to hold you while we sleep, I want you to be comfortable."
Yoongi's heart throbs in his chest. "Thank you, Jungkook," he whispers. Yoongi swallows hard and scoots a little closer, hooking his foot around Jungkook's calf. "Maybe, um, maybe we could try just holding hands?"
"Yeah?" Jungkook prompts. Yoongi can see the flash of his smile easily in the dark. "Okay, baby, that sounds nice." Jungkook slides his hand along the mattress between them, palm up. Yoongi does the same, sliding his fingers between Jungkook's. Jungkook's palm is warm and callused, their fingers slot together perfectly. Yoongi smiles softly and glances up, seeing Jungkook smiling too. "Good night, hyung."
"Good night, Kook."
Yoongi wakes up slowly, feeling like he's in a warm cocoon. He smiles to himself, nuzzling into his pillow as he sighs dreamily. He's never felt like this waking up, so safe and warm, so comfortable. He shifts slightly and - Oh. They've moved in the night, Yoongi is on his side with Jungkook curled around his back. Yoongi waits for the panic to set in, the discomfort, waits for himself to start sweating - but it doesn't come. Slowly, gradually, he lets himself relax and melt back into Jungkook's embrace.
Self discovery is a weird thing. It's odd when you realize something you were quite certain of isn't exactly true. Because right now, Yoongi is comfortable and content, tangled up in Jungkook's arms and legs, feeling like everything is right with the world. Maybe Yoongi isn't as averse to touch than he thought. It's just...been so long. So long since he's had the opportunity to be touched like this by someone who wanted to touch him so badly. It's like climbing over a wall, trying to get to the other side without any support rope or easy hand holds. He feels like he's going in blind and he's - he doesn't know.
All he knows is that he likes this, he likes the way Jungkook holds him like he is important. He likes the way Jungkook's palm splays over his skin, the way their legs tangle together, and the way Jungkook's nose is tucked into his neck. Yoongi swallows hard, feeling suddenly strange. He wasted so long thinking he didn't want to be touched, when really all he wanted was to be held. Held like this, by Jungkook's strong arms.
Yoongi can't remember the last time he slept so well.
Jungkook shifts behind him, his fingers squeeze into Yoongi's stomach and he makes a soft sound in his throat. Yoongi feels him stiffen, feels the way Jungkook tenses and moves to pull away. Without thinking, Yoongi moves, grabbing Jungkook's wrist before he can withdraw his hand. "Don't," Yoongi mumbles, voice hoarse from sleep, "it's okay." He licks his lips. "I like it."
There's silence, stillness, and then Jungkook's huffs softly, breath ticking Yoongi's neck. "Oh?" Jungkook murmurs against his hair. "This is okay?"
"Yeah," Yoongi breathes, arching into Jungkook's chest as Jungkook's hand strokes along his stomach and his lips press kisses along his nape. "You make me feel..." he trails off.
Jungkook hums. "Good?" he finishes for him.
"Yeah, good," Yoongi agrees. And safe. Comfortable. Good. So good.
Jungkook's nose runs along the back of his neck and up to his ear, teeth nipping at the shell. He snuggles closer, caging Yoongi in and his hand moves, sliding along Yoongi's stomach and dipping lower, under the waistband of his boxer briefs. "Let me keep making you feel good," Jungkook purrs in his ear and Yoongi lets go.
♥ ♡ ♥
Neither of them have anywhere to be, they had a lazy morning lounging in bed, touching and kissing. And then they had time to spend the day together, talking and laughing. They had brunch out and now they're walking through the park, holding iced coffees, and talking as they walk along the river. Yoongi feels happy, content like he hasn't felt in - he doesn't know how long. Jungkook is talking animatedly, eyes flashing and hair moving as he tosses his head. He's talking with his hands, his iced coffee sloshing as he gesticulates. Yoongi likes this. He likes Jungkook. Yoongi likes how this feels, how he feels when he's with Jungkook. He didn't have this with his ex, this feeling of fulfillment. Jungkook makes him feel good and treats him like he's special.
Time spent with Jungkook feels endless, like Yoongi's in a bubble filled with happy laughter and adorable smiles. Getting to know Jungkook has been an amazing adventure, Yoongi honestly feels lucky to be in the position he's in. Jungkook is so earnest and kind, giving Yoongi his full attention and making him feel seen and heard. He loves the way Jungkook laughs with his whole body, the way his nose scrunches and eyes crease when he smiles. The excited way he bounces on the balls of his feet and stumbles over his words when he gets into a story. Yoongi wakes up to a good morning text every day and goes to bed with a goodnight text every night. And his heart always leaps in his chest as he smiles like an idiot at the screen.
And Jungkook is beautiful, gorgeous. Yoongi's surprised that someone as handsome as Jungkook would want to be with him. He knows he's attractive, but he's not on Jungkook's level. Jungkook with sculpted abs and a chiseled body, a perfect face, and messy curls. And the way Jungkook says his name, calls him hyung, the look in his eye when he has Yoongi's full attention. Then the way Jungkook touches him, like Yoongi is fragile and perfect, like he deserves to be worshipped. It's new and a little scary, and Yoongi loves it.
He's realized, over the past few weeks, how much he loves the way Jungkook touches him. It started slowly at first, and this morning cemented it, waking up in Jungkook's arms had just felt right. Jungkook always wants to be touching him, though he’s been obviously trying not to as much. Yoongi can see it, the way Jungkook respects his boundaries even when he wants to reach out. And Yoongi is finding that he doesn't want Jungkook to hesitate anymore. Maybe Yoongi wants Jungkook to touch him more, wants the physical affection, even in public.
Yoongi licks his lips, switching his iced coffee to the hand further from Jungkook and wiping away the condensation on his shirt. He debates with himself for a moment, fingers twitching as he glances down at Jungkook's hand swinging casually between them. But he can do this, he can make a move, take the initiative. Yoongi tries to be cool about it, tries not to be weird, as he reaches out and slips his hand around Jungkook's, sliding their fingers together.
Jungkook cuts off mid-sentence and his steps falter. He glances down at their hands, then up at Yoongi's face, searching his eyes. Yoongi gives him a smile, small and tentative. Jungkook's eyes widen momentarily and then crease, nearly disappearing as he grins, teeth on display and nose scrunching. His fingers curl around Yoongi's and squeeze gently.
Yoongi smiles down at the ground, debates for another moment, and then tugs Jungkook closer by their hands, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before pulling away and continuing their walk. When he dares to look up, Jungkook is staring straight ahead, a dopey grin on his face and his ears are bright pink. Happiness washes through Yoongi in a rush, butterflies swarm in his belly. He smiles as well, taking a sip of his coffee to hide it. He doesn't miss Jungkook stepping a little closer as he continues his story as if nothing happened.