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Misogyny, Privilege and Punching Bigots In The Face

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Willy:

@cale https://jakeguentzels.tumblr.com/post/641218538060840960/braden-holtby-cools-off-during-the-first-period-in did this 100% make your panties wet?

Cale:

*sigh* I thought I got enough of this from my OWN teammates

Hartsy:

That…. Wasn’t a no….

Cale:

OI! You are DEFINITELY supposed to be on my side

Hartsy:

🤠🤠🤠

Willy:

I mean, at least everyone on National TV has seen you GO full Pricey now

Hartsy:

….dooooon’t…. my MOM rang me

Cale:

Was she mad?

Hartsy:

She was…. CONCERNED…

Stromer:

That’s WORSE

Lu:

Shits going down on twitter btw

Sid:

?

Lu:

Basically, someone called out the NWHL for associating with barstool

Sid:

Why would that be bad?

Lu:

Because barstool are misogynistic twats? And also racist bigots.

Sid:

And they’re sponsoring the NWHL?

Lu:

Well… no… although they did threaten to buy one of the teams

Lu:

But like, a bunch of players have been on barstool podcasts

Lu:

And twitter is just pointing out how shit it is

Lu:

But then the CEO of barstool BASICALLY sent out a HIT on like anyone who called them out on it

Nate:

See, I’ve only seen the stuff from Biz

Nate:

And like, is it really that bad?

Lu:

🤦‍♂️

Lu:

Yes

Nate:

Going on a podcast isn’t like, supporting the organisation?

Nate:

Like, I’ve been on chiclets because I like the guys that run it, SID’s been on it. Doesn’t mean we’re like, supporting barstool or whatever

Matts:

Except it kind of does.

Matts:

Because by going on their pods, you’re literally making money for them

Nate:

Or just… supporting my friends?

Matts:

Look, I’m not going to get into this

Matts:

B/cause honestly, this is usually such a positive chat

Matts:

But your privilege is really fucking showing.

Sid:

Also, tbf, I didn’t go on chiclets because I like biz

Sid:

Because I don’t…. he’s an irritating little shit

Sid:

I mostly did it to shut him up

TBeauts:

Isn’t that how he gets MOST of his guests?

TBeauts:

Just fucking annoying people until they go on his show?

Stromer:

I don’t like it that there’s this huge NWHL/PWHPA war

Stromer:

Like… can’t EVERY BODY PLAY?

Stromer:

HOW IS MORE HOCKEY A BAD THING?

Brinks:

Love you babes.

Stromer:

How many more days?

Stromer:

Also how is boqqy doing?

Brinks:

He’s ok. I’m still getting negative tests so should be out sooooon

Kaner:

GOOD!

Kaner:

Need you back. This team is… weird… and not my team right now.

Tazer:

But you’re being SUCH a good mom to the rookies

Stromer:

HE REALLY IS

Kaner:

The second you’re back Jon, I’m stopping talking to ANY ROOKIES AT ALL

Kaner:

Except you Stromer.

Stromer:

I’M NOT EVEN A ROOKIE ANYMORE

Kaner:

I don’t care. You’re my rookie :P

JT:

I feel like rookie is a subjective term anyway

JT:

Like, Ry’s my rookie for life

JT:

Even though we don’t play on the same team anymore, and he’s definitely not a rookie anymore

JT:

HE’S STILL MY ROOKIE

Stromer:

Hey JT…. Wanna know what your rookie did with the next next one?

Davo:

WILL YOU PLEASE DROP IT DYLAN!!!

Davo:

FFS

Stromer:

NEVER :D

Davo:

Ugh. Literally gonna be on my tombstone.

Stromer:

We’ve already decided we’re putting it on Ry’s.

Chucky:

That’s…. weirdly morbid?

Stromer:

You mean you HAVEN’T planned out all the evil things you’d write on your brother’s tombstone just because it meant he wouldn’t be able to get you back for it?

Chucky:

… I like my siblings…

Brinks:

OMG did you see the comment that was made about team USA Olympics

Brinks:

That sending Jizzy hughes out on a line with you and Brades would be like “sending him out for a walk with his two pet pitbulls”

Chucky:

I’m up for it :D

Chucky:

Like for real, it would be kind of cool to get to play with EITHER Brades or any of the hughes babies

Cale:

Is your brother ACTUALLY in love with Quinn Hughes?

Chucky:

I believe as stromer would say, Brades consideres Quinny “BAE but not baeeeeee”

Chucky:

Also Brades is, as far as I know, completely straight.

Hartsy:

It’s ok… you’re the cute chucky anyhow :D

Davo:

Speaking of Olympic teams…

Davo:

@Lu in your new position, you’re campaigning for an entirely queer team Canada yeah?

Lu:

LMAO. Like, I can maybe do something about making sure @Hartsy makes it

Lu:

But I’m not sure how much the others are going to listen to me on NON GOALIE decisions

Cale:

You mean you could arrange it so the goalies are…. Not binnington???

Lu:

I’ll take it under consideration :P

Cale:

I just think a Holtby/Price/Hart goalie trio would be…

Hartsy:

I’M BEGGING YOU @LU do NOT make decisions based on how horny my boyfriend is for the goalies….

Cale:

Oh COME ON

Cale:

There ARE no better Canadian goalies

Sid:

#rude

Cale:

I would accept MAF in the mix as well, just… like… I also wouldn’t accept any of those three NOT being in the mix

Cale:

Also would accept your baby Jars

Cale:

😉

Hartsy:

AGAIN…. Not just on cale’s thirst. That is NOT an accurate representation of goalie talent

Gabe:

I mean…. You SAY that

Gabe:

But talent DOES factor in how attractive Cale finds a goalie

Gabe:

We’ve worked that much out already.

Cale:

It’s why I think @Hartsy is the hottest. Because he’s the best

EJ:

🤢 omg baby…. WHY MUST YOU BE THIS WAY???

Claude:

Holy shit @howdy… WHAT THE HELL IS GOING DOWN?

Stromer:

Ditto. Ry just texted me saying that Tony dA and GEORGIEV got in a fight!?!?!?

Howdy:

OMG. I AM DYING

Howdy:

THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST DAY OF MY CAREER

Howdy:

SO, you guys saw what happened in OT

Howdy:

Or at least… @sid saw… -.-

Sid:

I’m not gonna apologise because your team has communication issues

Howdy:

ANYWAY, like, I’m so over the L because this just got so much better

Howdy:

And as we’re walking back to the locker room

Howdy:

And Georgie was PISSED about Sid’s goal, because like, it was a fuck up on our part

Howdy:

And like, what do you do when your goalie is pissed??

Chucky:

Avoid him?

Chucky:

Maybe offer him cuddles?

Howdy:

OR… if you’re tony Dangelo… call him a racist slur and sarcastically congratulate him on the game

Chucky:

He fucking didn’t?!?!

Howdy:

He did. Like, racist might not be the right word. It was a very anti-russian word.

Howdy:

So Georgie just fucking shucks his mitt, PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE WITH HIS BLOCKER

Howdy:

And then grabs him into a headlock

Howdy:

And we’re all like, WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO?

Howdy:

Because like obviously ALL THE RUSSIANS are pissed on georgie’s behalf

Howdy:

Because like, you’d have to be an IDIOT to call a Russian kid that

Howdy:

But also we’re like… holy shit, this is two of our teammates fighting

Howdy:

And obvs, like, Georgie is NOT a fighter, he’s a fucking goalie, HE’S STILL IN HIS GOALIE PADS

Howdy:

So tony’s fighting back

Howdy:

But then…. BUT THEN…. AHHHHH

Howdy:

Krieds stepped in and just fucking LEVELLED him, ONE FUCKING PUNCH

Howdy:

Tony went DOWWWWWWN 😂😂😂😂😂

Howdy:

And honestly, I’ve never really found a teammate attractive

Howdy:

Don’t @ me, hockey players aren’t my type

Howdy:

But I would have HAPPILY gone down on my knees and blown krieds there and then

Howdy:

(and I DON’T think I was the only person with that thought)

Chucky:

Are they gonna suspend tDa?

Howdy:

So, here’s the other thing

Howdy:

Tony was a healthy scratch for a game at the start of the season

Howdy:

And was SUPER pissy about it. Like, throwing tantrums kind of pissy

Howdy:

And according to stromer (R stromer, not you dyl), management had told him “one more incident and you’re on waivers” so….

Chucky:

Holy shit

Sid:

How are your boys coping?

Howdy:

Surprisingly well.

Howdy:

Tony’s been fucking irritating as SHIT this season

Howdy:

You know the kind of shit, being a total asshole and then being “ohhh it was just a prank”

Howdy:

Saying really offensive shit and then “ohhhh it’s just chirrrrps”

Howdy:

And whilst I know a couple of players who’ll miss him

Howdy:

I also know like, most of us REALLY FUCKING WON’T

Stromer:

So now you just wait to see what happens with him on waivers?

Stromer:

(quick, everyone tell your teams not to take him)

Tazer:

I don’t think anyone’s gonna take him

Richie:

Like honestly, who the fuck fights THEIR OWN GOALIE?

Howdy:

Every time I get sad, I’m gonna think about Georgie punching him in the face with his blocker

Lack:

Is this the guy who challenged a fan to a fight on twitter?

Howdy:

Yup, that’s tony.

Lack:

And then quit twitter, repeatedly

Howdy:

He’s going to join “parler” when it exists again

Lack:

Jeeeez

Lack:

I imagine you ARE grateful to have him off the team

Howdy:

We’ve been told to say that he’s our teammate and we’re sad this has to happen to our teammate.

Stromer:

And secretly you’re all DELIGHTED

Howdy:

I mean…. Yeah… yeah we are.

 

… 24 hours later

Howdy:

Aaaaand Tony’s cleared off waivers :D

Sid:

Is he going to the taxi squad?

Howdy:

Yep. Taxi squad but he’s not allowed to train with us and he’s staying at home not training.

Lu:

Gonna say it again. Who the FUCK punches their GOALIE?

Howdy:

Also @sid, like, a little bit thanks, for being the catalyst to start the whole tony getting kicked off the team

Sid:

I will gladly, ALWAYS score on ANY of your teams that you want me to

Sid:

That’s a blanket offer right there

Nate:

…. Thanks…. -.-

Sid:

You’re welcome!

Chapter Text

Cale:

Soooooo I found TK/Hartsy nesting fic

Mikey:

Holy crap there’s two of them

Hartsy:

Look, STOP denying it, we KNOW like half of you read this stuff by now

Baby G:

Fanfic is the bane of my life

Hartsy:

…. I can see how that wouldn’t be so great for you tbh

Cale:

BUT ANYWAY. I don’t know how to feel about tk/hartsy nesting

Cale:

I LIKED IT

Cale:

But then I was like, I don’t like the fact it’s tk.

Patty:

I dont like it.

Patty:

My tekks.

Teeks:

Damn fucking straight baby.

Cale:

It’s more, I just… would TK be a good choice for a nesting goalie?

Cale:

Don’t they need like, calm and shit?

Hartsy:

I mean…. Depends on the type of nest…

Cale:

😳😳😳😳

Cale:

I mean…. The one that I read was mostly pretty sweet nesting with a little bit of… erm… the other kind

Baby M:

I’m REALLY concerned about the content of this conversation

Baby M:

But also, REALLY glad I don’t understand half of the words you’re using

Baby S:

I’m with you there babes

Baby S:

I kind of want to know, but I also really DON’T want to know

Hartsy:

There’s a fic trope that goalies “nest” like, basically get really animalistic once a season (or less/more) and need to stay in a warm (usually sweaty and filled with teammates jerseys) nests. The idea is we’d attack anyone who isn’t our “safe” nesting partner… and then usually bone the nesting parter.

Baby S:

I mean… for the goalies I know… that’s actually not that hard to believe

Cale:

It’s what makes it SUCH a good trope

Cale:

It’s just on the right side of believable

Josty:

And it involves goalies…. Which is why YOU love it

Cale:

Shut up. :P

Cale:

Goalies are all intense. It’s hot.

Hartsy:

Intense?

Cale:

Shut it you… you know how intense you are 😉

Davo:

No flirting in the group chat :P

Chucky:

You’re just mad there’s no-one here to flirt with you

Dylan:

I’m sure Matty can step up to the plate :P

Baby S:

OMG I WAS A TEENAGER. GET OVER IT

Baby M:

Also, like no. 

Davo:

I think you should know by now Matty… Dylan never gets over ANYTHING

Dylan:

OMG @Matty…. Connor McActual David just spoke to you

Baby M:

Fuck off Dyl

Mikey:

Since when do you NOT chirp Matty?

Baby M:

Since always :P

Chapter Text

Lu:

So deAngelo off waivers... do we know what's going to happen?

Howdy:

Yep. Bosses are doing a presser later, but basically, Tony’s not coming back. Whatever happens :D :D :D

Lu:

Did he ACTUALLY steal miller’s first goal puck? Because twitter is divided

Howdy:

He claims it was a “prank” and he gave it straight to the equipment guys

Howdy:

But whether that meant that he ACTUALLY gave it straight to the equipment guys

Howdy:

Or someone else pointed out what a dick move it was stealing it and THEN he gave it over, idk.

Lack:

Hows your goalie boy doing? Georgiev?

Howdy:

Coach gave him the day to “cool off” but tbh, don’t think he needs it

Howdy:

Like, it felt like coach was worried we were all gonna be pissed at Georgie

Howdy:

But literally everyone was on his side

Howdy:

And I don’t think Tony got him that bad

Howdy:

So we’re expecting him back pretty soon

Kaner:

Do we think anyone’s going to take deangelo?

Stromer:

Ry says that management are pretty keen not to retain any of his salary

Stromer:

Which. Obvs

Stromer:

But like… they’re gonna struggle, because honestly, who would want him!

Lu:

Rumour has it some teams ARE looking at him

Latts:

He could go to AZ

Stromer:

AMAZING PLAN. Send him to AZ :D

Stromer:

@Matts no offense

Matts:

Offense entirely taken. :P but I can understand that the org is completely shit.

Matts:

Plus, technically, I don’t root for the yotes atm

Marns:

Will you? Once you retire?

Matts:

….idk…

JT:

I mean… I never stopped rooting for the leafs obvs

Marns:

If you do a JT and go back to your home town I WILL LITERALLY KILL YOU

Matts:

Obvs I’m gonna stay with you mouse

Matts:

As long as you and Fred are on the same team :P

Marns:

… nice to know I rank so highly…

Kaner:

Looks like they’ve had to cancel the NWHL bubble ☹

Teeks:

I don’t get that. Like, how come we had like NO rona issues in the bubble and they have loads

Teeks:

Also talking of rona issues… @McLeod ARE YOU SICK?

McLeod:

🙄 Not sick, just “on protocol” which basically means quarantining

Teeks:

Ooof gaaay.

Richie:

Did he just…

Claude:

Teeks. WE’ve talked about this.

Teeks:

I meant it in a no homo way

Claude:

THAT DOESN’T HELP

Kaner:

Also the NWHL weren’t like, made to stay in a hotel and properly quarantine like we were

Kaner:

The bubble thing was just like not travelling to different rinks for them

Howdy:

Also, not to bring up the PWHPA/NWHL thing again

Howdy:

BUT, they’re gonna host a PWHPA game at msg :D

Latts:

That’s all kinds of awesome

Latts:

Not just for hosting women hockey in a proper rink

Latts:

But you guys do have a fun rink to play at :D

Howdy:

Less at the moment

Howdy:

But yeah, I’m pretty damn fond of it.

Howdy:

Sorry. Like. It’s awesome being a ranger right now

Howdy:

You guys have NO idea how good our team feels right now

Howdy:

Like a fucking weight has been lifted

Teeks:

AAAAND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT

Teeks:

AND IT’S LIKE THE FOG HAS LIFTED

Teeks:

…. What?

Teeks:

Who DOESN’T love tangled.

Claude:

I worry about you on a daily basis TK

Teeks:

Honesty? Rude.

Lu:

Holy shit the funniest thing just happened on twitter

Lack:

???

Lu:

So, there’s a bunch of NYR “fan” accounts floating around since TdA deleted his twitter

Lu:

That are named stuff like NYRFan12345 and defend tony dA A LOT

Howdy:

Yeah, and everyone on twitter assumes it’s him.

Howdy:

Hell… WE all assume it’s him

Lu:

Well… I don’t know how real/not photoshopped this is

Lu:

But HONESTLY… I don’t care….

Lu:

https://twitter.com/MrBooth_7/status/1356834514090090499

Lu:

p.s. READ THE WHOLE THREAD

Lack:

😂😂😂

Howdy:

Dead.

Howdy:

ACTUALLY DEAD.

Howdy:

And shared it to the team chat.

EJ:

😂😂😂

Teeks:

Tag urself… I’m “go to bed”

Hartsy:

“GET THE FUCK OFF TWITTER”

Tazer:

I want to send Pat a fruit basket for having to deal with this fucker

Hartsy:

Who THE FUCK would listen to a rando on twitter about their own trades???

Howdy:

Omg… I just found this: https://dyylancozens.tumblr.com/post/642165517566853120/kreiderrider-btw-i-made-a-redbubble-shop

Kaner:

I’m just happy celebrating the day I am no longer Pat Brisson’s biggest headache :D

EJ:

Doesn’t he also have Duchy??

TBeauts:

Lets just all club together and get him some flowers “From your millions of gay and not problematic hockey players…. We’re sorry you also have to deal with that twat”

Sammy:

I’m sure he love it.

Claude:

Wait… are we ALL with Pat?

Nate:

Erm…

Sid:

Errmm…

JT:

Errrrmmmm….

Mitchy:

You guys aren’t funny

Stromer:

Checking his client list… there are 9 of his clients in this chat

EJ:

Is Pat like the pied piper of queer hockey players?

Kaner:

Queer and/or problematic hockey players

Tazer:

#PeeksIsBoth

Tazer:

(love you babes)

Kaner:

Ugh. Love you too. Rude.

Sid:

Ooof that’s our games cancelled because too many of @McLeod’s boys are sick

EJ:

Did you know you can’t catch the rona during a hockey game

Willy:

WHO FUCKIN KNEW 🙄

TBeauts:

It is kinda getting ridiculous

TBeauts:

Also @Josty you ok bb tys?

Josty:

Yup. Quarantined which….

Teeks:

….GAAAAAY

Claude:

Oh for fucks sake.

Teeks:

I live to raise your blood pressure G

Teeks:

And not in a sexy way

Tazer:

@Howdy… did your goalie fake fight bread on the way off the ice???

Howdy:

LMAO yes. Shesty’s got mad jokes.

Howdy:

d/w, he and bread are both Russian boys. It was just a joke. Taking the piss and all

Kaner:

MY BABY 😥😥😥 tell my lil bread baby I miss him

Howdy:

Tell him yourself

Kaner:

I can’t text in Russian??!?

Howdy:

He does speak some English now

Howdy:

Admittedly, most of the boys have decided that since Krieds is happy to play translator, they’ll just bully him and Buch into doing it :D

Sammy:

If I could get away with no English… I would…

EJ:

YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

Sammy:

Be nice :P

EJ:

You be nice.

TBeauts:

Stop flirting with your jailbait.

EJ:

NEVER!