Those hand was beyond his reach, it felt so far away. The silver-haired guy already left him, even though all this time when they got into problems they faced it together.
But not within this time. The brown haired guy heart feels so empty. He even looked down and tightly clenched his own hands, definitely thinking something that he won’t find again.
‘I can't reach you anymore, huh...’
Tokishima Haruto once again feels the bitterness of losing someone who dear to him. Why does he always feel this way? Doesn't he deserve to be happy like everyone else?
He didn’t understand why his life so miserable. Did he do bad things in his previous life so now in his life he got a lot of bad things? Haruto have no idea about it. He couldn't come to any conclusion.
‘If I’m with L-Elf, I can definitely find the answer. Ah, I depend on too much to him.’
Haruto chuckled softly and now he’s sitting on one of the benches in one place. Then he try to look above and see the blue sky, it was dazzling and beautiful. What a nice view for today.
Haruto just look at the sky, admiring it’s beauty and begin his humming. Suddenly he saw the guy that he know very well walks pass him, Haruto want to call him but that guy keep walking without looking his surrounding. It was very unusual for him to not greet Haruto immediately, usually if he see Haruto keep silent and do nothing, he will come closer and scold him right away.
Sometimes Haruto miss that moment. It’s been awhile that he never hear [that person’s] scold. But today he only want to talk. Haruto hurriedly got up from the bench and tried to catch up with L-Elf.
"Hey, L-Elf. L-Elf! ”
But when he called out to the silver-haired guy, L-Elf didn't stop his step. That’s strange. Is that L-Elf wearing a headset so that he didn't hear his voice? He glanced slightly from behind and couldn’t see anything covering L-Elf’s ears.
When he called out loudly, the silver-haired guy stopped. Finally his voice was heard but something was strange. L-Elf did not look at him but looked straight at something in front of him. L-Elf was remain silent as if there was no one beside him.
“Tokishima Haruto, here I come again."
L-Elf took a deep breath and looked at the thing that was in front of him, he touched it gently and lowered his face with a sad look. An expression that was rarely shown by him.
Haruto was silent watching him and slowly approached L-Elf. When he was right beside L-Elf, he looked the front where L-Elf touched the thing and a his smile slowly disappeared from his face.
That thing is a gravestone that written a name, Tokishima Haruto. His name. He couldn't smile when see his own gravestone, as if he remembered the fate that had happened to him. He is already dead. He is in a different world from L-Elf. Now he remember, whenever Haruto shouted no matter how loudly he called L-Elf’s name, L-Elf wouldn’t turn his head at him.
“It's been 40 days since that day… why are you… why are you trying to protect me? It should be me who died, not you! "
Haruto remain silent again. Of course he will protect those who are important to him. It felt like he remembered that moment, where he tried to save L-Elf who was about to be hit by a car but he pulled L-Elf and replaced him. At that time he oy smile and say "be careful" before he was hit by a car.
It happened so fast that no one was able to process what happened afterwards. Like black ink smearing white paper and turning the paper into pitch black, L-Elf lost light once again. He didn't understand why Haruto was trying to protect him to the point of making his own life disappear.
“You should still be alive, not me. What a stupid move, Tokishima Haruto. You wasted your life for someone like me. "
Haruto didn’t happy hear those words from L-Elf who kept blaming himself like that. He immediately hugged L-Elf even though he knew L-Elf wouldn’t be able to feel his touch.
“You shouldn't ... do something risky like that.”
L-Elf's voice trembled and Haruto realized that the silver-haired guy was crying. Ah, he makes L-Elf crying again. When was the last time he saw L-Elf cry? Is it around the end of his life? Maybe.
Don’t say something like that! Even though now they can't be together but Haruto tries to tolerate this situation. He didn't want L-Elf to feel guilty. If his voice can be heard, he wanted to tell L-Elf that he was all right. But he can’t even let his voice out. Haruto chose to keep holding L-Elf tightly and tried to wipe away his tears. He didn't want L-Elf to be sad about, he wanted L-Elf to live his life well.
“You don't have to be sorry. I'm glad to see you alive today, even though we are not together but I want you to live. Please life for me too… ”
After saying that, Haruto patted L-Elf's head and let go of his hug. He was about to walk away from the silver-haired guy, leaving L-Elf alone because he couldn’t bear to see L-Elf crying there.
L-Elf looked back but hedidn't see anyone. He also felt the wind blowing so hard that it made his hair blow. He smoothed his hair and looked at the headstone before him once more.
“Tokishima Haruto, I love you and that feeling won’t change."
“I also feel the same way."
Even though Haruto was a little far from L-Elf but he heard those words and subconsciously replied to it even though L-Elf wouldn't hear it.
The destiny they are living turn on become something like this. As if they weren't allowed to be together. But Haruto always wishes the best for L-Elf even though they can't be together.
‘If God gave me a second chance in my next life. I wish we could meet again, L-Elf. '