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Published:
2020-12-31
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2021-08-02
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70,866
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41/?
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Hayloft

Summary:

almost all of the ships have been written bc i have nothing else to do
i was bored and wrote a multi-fandom ship book
what am i doing with my life-
if something needs a tw please put it in the comments so i can add them

Chapter 1: Golden Tickets ( parts 1+2 ) (musical!candytroller)

Notes:

this is , like , 10000+ words , bc its the two parts put together yk haha 👍

Chapter Text

"-late news!"

"Bucket, look-" Charlie cuts him off with a scream, getting on his knees and going limp on the floor of the candy store.

"We have a fourth golden ticket winner! Cherry, where are you?" The newsman, Jerry, asks.

"Jerry!" The newswoman, Cherry, yells. "They say it's Iowa but, how can you tell?" Charlie knew the silence was for the laugh that would be played in-between after it airs live. "We're in the sweet suburban home of a typical American family where a darling little lad called Mike Teavee has surprisingly struck gold, and made his mother so proud! Now Ms. Teavee, tell us all about Mikey."

"Hit it!" Was all she says, which catches Charlie's attention. But his attention on the woman is immediately gone when he notices the boy, Mike Teavee, strapped to a chair.

"All through the night, I just watch the clock. Counting every second 'til I can tiptoe to his door, which I carefully unlock, to get to see my little man! " The look of pure annoyance on Mike's face when his mother stands in between him and the video game he's playing makes Charlie laugh.

"At six A.M. I look in on my darling, to see if his restraints are holding fine. For an hour I'm in heaven 'til I loosen them at seven. I love that little man of mine!" Mike kicks up his feet, seeming to be stuck for hours, but he immediately goes back to his video games.

"At nine A.M. I make his special breakfast-" Her voice is cut out by Charlie's thoughts. Though he snaps back to reality when she continues talking. "Then it has to be home-school, and due to that court ruling- they never proved a thing-" She's again cut off by Charlie's thoughts, though he was told he shouldn't ask about bad stuff that's happened to other people unless they don't mind, which they both probably do, so he starts listening again.

"-I never dreamed that we had had a daughter!" 'Maybe a daughter would've been better' Charlie thinks, but tells himself it's not kind to say that stuff.

"-I have to have a sip of mommy water!"

"That stuff is gross!" Charlie says, cringing.

"Maybe now, but maybe in the future it'll taste better." The shop owner says.

"-And pour myself a lovely box of wine!"

"That's what her 'mommy water' is, right?" Charlie asks.

"I'm gonna guess it is, Bucket."

What brings Charlie back to the television is Ms. Teavee walking past Mike and the television again. Mike throws his hands up, annoyance plastered on his face.

"Mine! Mine! What can I say? I got my golden ticket an American way! I hacked Willy Wonka! That's how I won! You gotta break rules to get the job done! I don't need to go outside to be what I be! Reality is something I can get from TV! America get ready for my cyber attack! Mike Teavee is winning, there's no going back!" He turns to his mother and runs as she pulls out his restraints. She brings him back to the chair by shaking his controller, which he grabs and continues his game.

"So every night we sit at our computer."

"I try to find my father online." Charlie frowns.

"And then I tuck Mikey in, with lots of love and-"

"That doesn't look like love if he's struggling." Charlie says.

"Well she has to. It's court rules." The shop owner replies.

"And then I take as many as I can-"

"Does she legally have pills?" Charlie asks randomly.

"I'm gonna say yes because if she didn't, I don't think she'd talk about them on live television."

"-Cause mommy doesn't give a damn, cause mommy's higher than cloud nine!"

"Mine! Mine!"

"Thanks for comin'! " Ms. Teavee sits on the arm rest, and Mike pulls himself away from her, looking at her with disgust. He's completely avoiding her touch, but she pats his arm anyways. He tries to push himself away, and Charlie can tell he's telling her to stop because she does immediately. The camera pans back to Cherry, and Charlie almost frowns at the fact that the Teavee's had gone off-screen. He seemed to like Mike, even though he did seem obsessed with his video games and hacking.

_-_

"Hey!" The shop owner says, startling Charlie. "I haven't seen you for days! I thought you might've kicked the bucket... Bucket."

"Are you leaving?" Charlie asks, sadness lacing his voice.

"Of course! All the chocolate's gone, I'm closin' up! Every last bar, bon-bon and marshmallow chew in the shop sold. Isn't that one of 'em?" He asks, pointing the end of the duster to Charlie.

"I suppose." Charlie says, not in the mood for jokes.

"I- N- There's no 'suppose' about it. That Willy Wonka is a marketing genius, if I do say so myself. Now here, grab this broom, help me sweep up." Charlie sweeps with not very much power in it.

"Hey, would- can you put a little back into it? Give it a little-" He makes a gesture of pushing a broom hardly across the floor, and Charlie copies it quickly. He makes another gesture, shaking his hand in an 'it was an okay try' and walks away.

"What do you think he's like?" Charlie asks.

"Willy Wonka?" The shop owner asks. "How should I know?"

"I mean, what does he do all day? Does he write his ideas in a scrapbook? Does he sit all day in class and day dream- well not class, I suppose, because he doesn't go to school, does he? But, does he spend his lunch break just mixing things up in cups to see how they taste? How does he do it? What happens in that factory?" Charlie stops sweeping to turn to the factory.

"There's still one chance left."

"Not for me."

"Oh, Bucket, don't be disconsolate. You've been a witness to history. Trust me, one day, th- this'll make a great story..." Charlie frowns. "It's been nice knowin' ya." He walks back to the cash register, only to start talking again. "I- Ya know what? Here." The shop owner hands Charlie his bag and flips the sign to 'Closed.' "Thank you. You missed a bit over there." He takes the bag back from Charlie, and his smile is replaced with a sad look. "So long, Bucket! Remember, no man waits for time. Don't carp and seize the per diems. Goodbye." The shop owner leaves the store.

"Goodbye." Charlie says, and he goes back to sweeping. He passes the stand the cashier and spots a dollar. "A dollar! Sir, sir, you left a dollar, sir! He's gone..." Charlie shuts the door, and immediately hears, "Vegetables! Veh-geh-tah-buls. I am back to selling vegetables! Get your depressing, old vegetables here."

"Miss Green!" Charlie says.

"Oh, I supposed you want dinner kid. I think I got a couple squishy tomatoes in here, they won't look too bad if you wipe off the mold." She pats his back and turns to look in her cart.

"Miss Green, what happened to all the chocolate?" Charlie asks.

"All sold out. There isn't a Wonka bar left in the whole country."

"But I got a dollar..."

"Oh, you comin' to your inheritance?" Charlie turns away, but Miss Green stops him.

"A- H- Hey wait I might have a stale KitKat in here somewhere, just uh... wait a minute. Well look at this. Must've fell down the back of the cart during the good times." Charlie bounces in excitement.

"A Wonka Whipple Scrumptious Fudgemallow Delight! Please may I buy it Miss Green?"

"Alright. Don't eat it all at once." They trade items and Charlie stares in shock. "Vegetables! Some are so dry you can eat it with a straw and call it a smoothie. Get your vegetables here!" She walks away, pushing her cart in front of her.

"I should take it home and share it... just one tiny nibble, just to make sure it's okay." He pulls the wrapper off, and a shine of gold makes him jump in shock. He smiles.

"I never thought this day would be anything by catastrophe. But suddenly I begin to see a bit of good luck for me." Charlie stands up, spinning around. He pushes the ticket high above his head.

"I've got a golden ticket! I've got a golden twinkle in my eye! Grandpa Joe, how'd you know that I'd be coming home today with something good, something gold, something special that I can hold! Grandpa Joe just as you believed, the final golden ticket is in my hand!" Charlie's grandparents cheer happily.

"Grandpa Joe! We won!" His mother and grandparents all cheer for him.

"Joe? Are you okay? He's white as a sheet! He can't speak-"

"Grandpa Joe, say something!"

"Charlie, you and I, we made something out of nothing. Me and you, Charlie, we saw things that weren't there. Charlie, you and I, wondered how but never why. Yes, me and you, Charlie. Charlie, you and I."

"Wait a minute Joe. This ticket says 'In order for Charlie to go on the tour, he has to be accompanied by a responsible adult'." Mrs. Bucket says.

"So?"

"Well I can't take him! If I don't show up for work Mrs. Walinsky is sure to fire me and I can't afford to lose my job-"

"I will take him!"

"But Joe, you can't walk."

"Couldn't." He corrects. "Couldn't walk. But that was before today. Before my call to arms! This ticket is all the miracle these old legs need!" Grandpa Joe throws the blanket off of his legs.

"I never had a chance to shine." Grandpa Joe drops his first foot of the bed, everyone gasping. "Never a happy song to sing." He drops his second foot of the bed, and they all gasp again. "But suddenly half the world is mine! What an amazing thing!" His legs shake when he tries to stand and he falls back, the others all talking at the same time.

"I've got a golden ticket!" He stands up much easier and Charlie hands him the ticket. He takes it and falls again, but he gets back up and raises the ticket. "I've got a golden sun up in my sky!"

"This is going to be a disaster!" Grandpa George says. Grandpa Joe starts talking about the Titanic and how he was told to steer it and blah blah blah. He starts to go down the stairs, but because he can't fully walk, he slowly scoots down them. Charlie helps him up, and Mrs. Bucket rushes to help Charlie and Grandpa Joe.

"Look at the sun!" He says, and then falls. Charlie and Mrs. Bucket help him up. "I never thought that I would be slapping the lap of luxury. Cause they all said;"

"It shouldn't be done!"

"Bring me my jacket!" Grandpa Joe demands and Mrs. Bucket rushes to get it.

"But it can be done- and my pants!"

"I never dreamed that I would climb over the moon in ecstasy. But nevertheless, it's there that I'm shortly about to be."

"Cause we've got a golden ticket! We've got a golden ticket! We've got a golden chance to make our way! And with a golden ticket it's a golden day!" They help Grandpa Joe get dressed, and he starts to walk, the other two helping him.

"We never thought we'd see the day when we would face the world and say 'Good morning'!"

"Look at the sun! I never thought that I would be a-dancin' about for all to see. Cause they all thought I was better off dead. But I got out of bed!" Charlie hands Grandpa Joe a pot, and he puts it on his head like he does when they're playing 'Willy Wonka'. "C'mon Charlie! Oh, we'd never dreamed that we'd appear, over the moon in ecstasy. it's there that we're shortly about to be. Cause we've got a golden ticket! "

"Charlie your father would be so proud!"

"Oh, we've got a golden chance to make our way! And with a golden ticket it's a golden day!"

=+=

"Ethel Teavee and this my little Mikey." Charlie looks up at his grandfather, who's looking at the boy in disgust and maybe even confusion. Charlie's expression is completely different. He's staring at him in excitement and fascination.

"Hello Mike!" Cherry says, but she gets no response.

'His headphones are on. Why do adults think they can hear through them?' Charlie asks himself.

"Hello, Mike." Again, no response.

"Hello Mike!" They all yell, and he pulls off his headphones.

"What?" Charlie already could tell the difference between his voice on TV and his voice in person. 'That sounded weird.' He thought but shrugged it off.

"Tell us, what do you think of the competition so far?" Cherry asks.

"It's crap! These kids are losers, Wonka's a loser. There's only room for one winner in this competition. Me. Now out of my way, old people!" He pushes through the crowd of reporters, all of them gasping.

"That's four kids, and Cherry I have five on my list. Where's the other one?"

"Oh here he comes now, Jerry. It's Charlie Bucket, the boy who won his ticket only yesterday." The reporters all surround him, making him feel more powerful than usual. "Charlie, the world is watching. Is there anything you wanna say?" The reporters lean closer, microphones in his face.

"Go on, Charlie." Grandpa Joe says.

"Uhm, how'd you do?"

"How'd you do..." Jerry says, almost in a mocking way.

"Is that it?" Cherry asks. They all lean in again, pointing their mics at him.

"Sorry." Grandpa Joe gives him a look and he shrugs.

"Well, there you have it. Looks like a loser to me, Jerry. Kids no good with a [wtf does she say], but, who knows? Maybe he'll lead with a [again , wtf are they saying]!"

"You know, poverty is such a terrible thing, Cherry. Wasn't it John Paul that-" Jerry is cut off by the sound of a bell ringing.

"Shut it Jerry. It's time." She steps away, leaving Jerry in the spotlight.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the clock strikes. The hour has come, and the shadow of this factory we stand, but, where's the man who built it? [i have no clue what he says the whole sentence], the man they call..." Jerry walks out of frame, and all the news reporters start talking at the same time.

"Willy Wonka!" The doors open and all the reporters turn. Out comes a man wearing a dark hooded cloth with a cane. He's bent over like an old man with back issues. He's shaking as he tries to stand. 'This can't be Willy Wonka... can it?' Charlie begins to rethink everything he thought he knew.

"Won't you help me, please? I'm afraid that I might fall. For my eyes and my knees have gone frail behind this wall. Let me come to you, though it appears I've lost my pep! But as this ancient relic read, in the tao of Ching it said, a journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step!" He falls over, and the reporters rush to help him. The ticket winners are right behind them, all watching with a different expression.

Suddenly, a man stands up, and the reporters back up. The kids back up as well, and Charlie immediately realizes it was all an act. Wonka is fine, and he isn't an old man with back problems.

"Beyond this door's a factory. Begat from just a bean. Beyond this door, surprises in store, but it must be believed to be seen." He throws his cane up and catches it in the other hand. He starts to walk forwards, the reporters all following. "Beyond this door's invention. Where mind meets with machine. Beyond these gates, astonishment waits! But it must be believed to be seen."

Reporters are following him at weird angles, including one reporter on the floor and others being held up like ballerinas. "No magic spells, no potions! Forswear Legerdemain. My kingdom's created from notions all swirling inside of my brain. Beyond this door's a banquet of Wonka made cuisine. A lucky few will get to pass through, but it must be believed to be seen."

Wonka starts to dance with a reporter. "Beyond this door's music, come dance betwixt and between. Beyond this waltz is a world without faults, but it must be believed to be seen." She hands his cane back, and is back to taking notes.

"Beyond this door's a puzzle. You'll find out what I mean. Beyond this gate is the world I create, but it must be believed to be seen." The reporters back up as Wonka walks forward, making a gesture for the ticket winners and the adults to come forward. They all walk up to him, and he looks at all of them.

"Despite the man seen at these doors, my childhood home was bland like yours." He looks at Charlie, who turns back to Grandpa Joe once making eye contact with everyone. He pats Charlie's shoulder and Charlie shrugs. "But I knew how to look to find a world that wasn't colorblind. Let's hope that you're a bit like me, as you walk through my factory. For in the end is quite a prize if you can see with more than eyes."

Violet holds Veruca's hand, Veruca's holding Augustus' hand, Augustus is holding Mike's, Mike is holding Charlie's, and Charlie is holding Wonka's. Charlie has completely forgotten what's happening because he just likes the feeling of holding Mike's hand. Wonka leads them around to circle behind him.

"Your life's about to change now, so don't get left behind! "

"Do things appear quite strange now? Imagine the wonders you'll find." The kids all gather in front of him. Augustus and Violet stand on his left, Veruca and Mike are kneeling in front of him, and Charlie's behind Mike. 

"Beyond this door is chocolate."

"So tasty it's obscene! " His hand goes in front of Mike's face, who glares at him. "So follow me, for I guarantee, that this world I conceived, and all I achieved, it must be believed to be..." He sends the kids in one-by-one. First Augustus, then Violet, then Mike, Veruca goes next, and Charlie is sent in next. They all hold up their golden tickets as they walk in, and Charlie rushes in. "...seen! " He finds an open spot next to Mike and rushes over.

Mike looks down at Charlie, then looks over at his mother and whispers something to her. She nods, and waves to Charlie. He waves back with a smile. Mike looks back at Ethel and glares at her, whispering something to her again. She makes an 'oh, oops' face.

"Do come in! " The lights go out, and Charlie stumbles. 

_-_

"Nice of you to drop in." Charlie looks back, trying to figure out how Wonka could've gotten in before them. "Welcome to my factory. First stop: reception!"

"Our schedule has no room for intros, languid and rubato... accelerate right to the verse and play it molto presto and staccato! Now let's get the small talk out of the way. What zigzag roads and fickle fates have led you to my chocolate gates? I'm sure the stories would enthrall but time is racing by us all. I'd love a rhyme or riddle or two but there's so much time, so little to do! So much time, so little to do? Please strike that, reverse it! I meant the other way!" The kids all follow him, randomly asking and telling him random things.

"It doesn't take a Sigmund Freud to see I'm charmed and overjoyed but pardon if I start to fret, we've not begun our journey yet! No time to borrow or delay, what's here tomorrow's gone today! " They all lean in, all of them listening besides Mike, who's playing a game on his tablet. "What's here tomorrow's gone today? Whoops strike that, reverse it! My tongue has feet of clay!" The children back up, then both the parent and the kid look at each other, shrugging.

Everyone lines up and goes through the bags they've brought in. "You bid the tasteless world adieu to chew the goo awaiting you, but scurry, for the Wonka clock keeps ticking!" First, Wonka pulls a butcher knife from Mrs. Gloop's bag. He shoves it back in the purse, and checks Veruca's purse. He pulls out a bomb, putting it back in the purse and letting Veruca go.

"Inside these doors the floors are sweet, there's rugs and carpets you can eat, and best of all, the wallpaper needs licking! Ah!" He pulls a rubber duck out of Violet's bag and throws it after the duck had quacked at him.

"This day of punctuality is scheduled to the Nth degree. I wish that I had time to share my thoughts on makeup, clothes, and hair... madam!"

"Yes?"

"Your hair, your dress, your shoes are great! You're dressed for 1958."

"I tried wearing those culottes but they get caught in my candy kernel." Mike pushes Ethel behind him as everyone looks at her in concern. Charlie looks up at Mike in confusion, which makes him give Charlie a 'nothing, it's gross' look.

"No strike that, reverse it! Let's get on with our day! Gloops!"

"Mister Vonka, guten tag!"

"Willkommen Frau Gloop! Delighted to meet you, and this must be little Augustus. Why, he looks so..." Charlie takes notice of how Mike pops the bubble Violet was blowing then quickly turns away. "healthy."

"Yeah, he's my tiny little pickle!" He looks back at Violet and she glares at him. He smiles sarcastically back at her.

"Hello!" Augustus waves his ticket, then dings the bell on the desk. Wonka puts his hand over it to stop the ringing. Augustus rings it again, and Wonka does the same thing. When Augustus does it one more time, Wonka pretends to go for the bell, only to hit his hand with a toy hammer. Augustus and Mrs. Gloop back up as the others watch in shock. 

"Pleased to meet you Augustus but I'm afraid I must confiscate your sausage!"

"But that was my lunch!" Wonka ignores the boy, scanning him with his cane. "Anymore contraband?" The cane gets louder over his pockets. "Just a few sausages..."

"You may go first, but lose the wurst."

"That's sad because I love 'em."

"To lead our group, Augustus Gloop, for who could lose sight of him?"

"Yes who could lose sight of him!"

"Salts!"

"Zdravstvuyte/Здравствуйте! Oleg Salt from Novosibirsk. I run Salt Peanuts, Salt Cod, and Salt Mines."

"That's a lot of salt. You should watch your blood pressure."

"And this is my wonderful daughter..."

"Dyspepsia..."

"Veruca."

"Angina..."

"Veruca!"

"Diarrhea..."

"VERUCA!" Veruca turns away, arms crossed.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry, I was checking your father's medical records. Oleg, ingenue, you really must take care of yourself."

"I'll take care of you Vonka if you don't focus on me!"

"It's a pleasure, dear, to have you here, where did you get that mink?"

"Are you for real?"

"It's baby seal that's clubbed then tickled pink."

"It's clubbed then tickled," She does an attitude, everyone she passes backs up, "clubbed then tickled," then a croisé "clubbed then tickled pink!" and another attitude, ending on the tip of the pointe shoes.

"Beauregardes!" Violet shoves Mike hard and he stumbles. He turns, only to be stopped by Ethel. Mike shakes his head then looks down at Charlie, they stare at each other, Charlie giving him a confused, 'why'd she do that' look, and Mike gives him an 'I don't know' look back. He looks away once Charlie waves at him.

"Eugene Beauregarde, here is my card."

"I'll cherish it."

"Smile!" Violet poses beside Wonka, and snaps a photo.

"Instagram it, daddy!"

"And I guess you already know the Queen of Pop."

"Delighted to meet you, your majesty. And what is it exactly you do?"

"Do?! I chew!"

"Gesundheit!"

"Same gum for the last three years!" Violet obviously doesn't know what gesundheit means. 

"It's a jaw-popping world record! Why, she's got over 50,000 twitter followers, her own YouTube channel, and one day, we gonna open up a bubble gum boutique in Beverly Hills!" Eugene goes around, handing people cards with Violet's social media. Veruca refuses to take a card, yet he never offers a card to Charlie. 

"Well, congratulations, I must drop by, but you can't bring gum in here."

"Why not?"

"Because it's disgusting." Violet gasps dramatically.

"Just let me in! I'm here to win!"

"You like to beat your drum! Your confidence is quite intense but just don't jump the gum!" Wonka pulls all the gum out of Violet's mouth, and she gasps. 

"Don't jump, don't jump, just don't jump the gum!" Wonka tries to throw the gum away, but it sticks to his hand. He tries throwing it again, yet it sticks to his hand still. He gives up and shoves in onto the bottom of his desk.

"Next!"

"Yo, dufus, you got wifi?"

"I'll take that." Mike walks away, yet stops when he almost hits Charlie. He turns back around as his mother pulls him back to the desk. He pulls the golden ticket out of his pocket, handing it to his mom.

"Ethel Teavee and this is Mike Teavee. We should be on the list."

"Ah yes, Mike Teavee, the boy who hacked into my computers." Mike turned away to play on his phone, only to look back up a second later. "So Mike the brain you must explain just how you hacked a ticket."

"Shut up old man. I'm not a fan. You know where you can stick it." Mike puts his headphones on, completely ignoring the people around him.

"You can stick it!" Ethel takes a drink from her flask, only for Wonka to stop her. 

"And there's no alcohol in my factory, I'm afraid."

"...It's lemonade!"

"Mhm." He hums in disbelief. He makes a gesture as if to say 'hand it over.' She hands him the flask and he takes a sip, only to drink the whole thing. He starts singing a song that Charlie's never heard before.

"Homemade. You should visit my factory sometime."

"It seems that I've left someone out. Who else is here, now give a shout."

"Uhm, Mr. Wonka, I'm the last." Charlie says, holding up his ticket.

"Is least the last to join our cast." He moonwalks then turns around, Charlie backing up. "Name?"

"Joe Bucket, at your service, sir!"

"Delighted!"

"Actually-"

"Enraptured!"

"Matter of fact-"

"Fascinating! And you must be Charlie. Well, well, well, Charlie Bucket, the boy who waited until the very last moment to get his ticket!" He takes the ticket from his hand and walks away, putting it on his desk. "Don't leave it so late next time!"

"But-"

"But what?"

"But, Mr. Wonka, aren't you the candy man?"

"The-" He looks over at Mike, who looks like he's not believing a word Wonka is about to say. "The handy man? Young man I am the president and CEO of this entire organization." He starts to laugh, and the others follow along. Except Mike and Charlie. He cuts the laughing off abruptly.

"Now, messes Bucket, Salt, and Beauregarde, Madame Teavee and Shatzi Gloop," He leads them to the other side of the room. Mike tries to push between Augustus and Veruca, but fails. Veruca hits him on the chest and he flinches. They glare at each other before Veruca looks away, flipping her hair in his face, "you're visitors in my backyard while shepherding this tiny troupe."

Wonka starts to walk towards them, and the others start to walk backwards. "And so I look to you to lead your future generations, I must insist you hear and heed my rules and regulations!" Wonka runs past them, and they all look over their shoulder as he puts his cane on the holder on his desk.

"I'd love to lounge and lolly gag and give each tongue the chance to wag, but I must get you all to sign this contract on the dotted line." He pulls out a wide and small piece of paper, "There's no reprise, the way time flies, so dot the T's and cross the I's! Damn, strike that, reverse it! Please ink without delay!"

"May I see the dossier?" Oleg asks.

"And negotiate her pay?" Eugene asks next.

"So, what does the contract say?" Ethel asks, pointing to the paper.

"Well... the undersigned herein to for cite no frippery or force majour. No property be touched or chewed or peddled!" He pulls the contract farther out. Mike grabs the contract, pulling it along. Veruca grabs it next, then Charlie and Violet. They all try to read it upside down. 

"What'd he say?" Everyone looks over at someone, confused. Veruca smacks Charlie hand. He puts it back, looking up at her. Mike leans over and tells Veruca to leave him alone. She immediately stops, pulling the contract farther out.

"De facto habeas corpus laws. For you a new grandfather's clause. Sign here and here and here. Thank god that's settled!" The contract starts to wrap around everyone, pushing people closer together.

"What does he expect?!" Mrs. Gloop asks.

"I'm confused!" Ethel complains.

"This tempo is preposterous!" Oleg says.

"Just sign!" The kids stop pulling the contract out, yelling. They start to move in circles, trying to get to the end of the contract. The paper only wraps around them even more. 

"So now the time has come at last to put the present in the past. It's time to take the golden tour and taste the tempting treats, du jour. The day is young the sun is high and so it's time to say goodbye!" They look like a bundle of sticks, and they all look extremely uncomfortable.

"Goodbye!?" They all ask in concern.

"No strike that, reverse it! The next time I'll rehearse it. Get ready, set, on your marks, let's go!"

"You're stupid!" Augustus yells.

"You stink!" Mike shoots back.

"I'm winning!" Veruca says, hitting Violet's shoulder.

"You think!" Violet says back to her, tone sassy.

"Let's go!" Charlie yells, done with all the fighting.

Wonka starts to pull the contract the opposite way they went, and they start to spin around."On with the show!" They all land on opposite parts of the floor.

Chapter 2: Don't Break The Circle (1990!stozier)

Chapter Text

The shadow of someone- or something -can be seen in the tunnel. Beverly aims her slingshot at the tunnel.

"It's Stan!" Beverly yells, lowering the slingshot.

"It's coming! It's coming..." Stan runs into the others. He immediately stands by Richie's side, and Richie takes notice of the buttons on Stan's shirt not being there anymore. Suddenly, you can see a bright white light coming from the tunnel. Beverly has her slingshot up again.

"Hands, quick!" Bill says. Everyone grabs the person's hand beside them. Richie and Stan intertwine their fingers. They all shuffle to the middle of the room, circled around the drain. Suddenly, the white light is over them and they all drop to the ground. They all bury their heads in their arms. Stan and Richie lay beside each other, still holding the others hand. Bill looks up for a moment, then the light is gone.

They wait for another second before they hear splashing. They all slowly look up and see Bill trying to sit up, yet his hand continues to hit the water as it slips each time.

"Is that it?" Richie asks, sitting up. "Did we do it?"

"Look!" Eddie points to a mist in an opening beside them. The mist becomes smoke, and it slowly fills the room. But when they stand up, the mist is to their waist.

"Quick! Takes hands! Before we get lost in this stuff." The Losers all scramble to find each other as the smoke fills the room quicker. "Grab hold! Is everybody here?" Bill asks.

"I'm here. Stanny?" Beverly says.

"Yeah. Richie?" Stan's grip tighten's on Richie's hand.

"Yeah, uh, Mike?"

"Here. Who's hand is this?"

"Mine." Eddie says. "That you, Ben?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, whatever happens, hang on! It's not as strong as we thought it was, or it could've killed us just then. We have to resist!" Bill says, though he seems to have zoned out.

"Bill! Bill!"

"Georgie?" Bill turns around, and there Georgie stands, one arm missing.

"No, Bill! That's not George! Don't break the circle!" Beverly pleads.

"Hey." Someone says. "Bevvie, what do you think you're doing down here with these boys? Now get home!"

"Daddy?" Bev asks. "Daddy, I'm-"

"Wake up, hot stuff." Stan kicks Richie's foot in annoyance, yet he goes ignored. "That ain't daddy. There ain't nothin' there." Suddenly, claws appear over Richie's shoulders. He lifts his head, and his breathing quickens. They grab onto his shoulders, and Richie's eyes shut. "I said... I said there ain't, nothing, there." The claws leave his shoulders, and he looks over at Stan. Stan was reciting a prayer, eyes closed.

"Stan... Stanley boy..." Stan looks down at his hands, and realizes he's holding Pennywise's hand, not Beverly's. He starts to scream as IT lifts him up and pins him to a wall from his shirt. "Richie!" Stan yells, breathing heavily, for it was hard to breathe when the collar of his shirt is pushing against his neck.

Someone had yelled "Stanny, resist!" but Stan was too focused on the clown in front of him.

"That's it! Let go! Be afraid!"

"B-Bev the stones!" Bill stutters.

"You all taste so much better when you're afraid!"

"Hurry, Bev, kill It!" Beverly drops the ammo accidentally.

"Kill?" Pennywise laughs as Beverly searches for the ammo on the ground with her hand, her breathing quick as if she was trying not to cry. "Me? Oh, you are priceless, brat! I, am eternal, child." Bev grabs the ammo and loads her slingshot. "I am the eater of worlds, and of children! And you, are, next!" Pennywise makes direct eye-contact with Richie as he opens his mouth, showing needle-sharp teeth. Richie glares, he's about to step forward when Eddie takes lead.

"This is battery acid, you slime!" Pennywise looks over at Eddie and Eddie pushes the button multiple times, spraying it in his face. IT hisses as he covers his face. His face starts to melt as he screams in pain. His skin sticks to his gloves.

"Please, God." Beverly whispers as Pennywise moves closer to her. She shoots Pennywise in the forehead, and it breaks open part of his forehead. A bright light comes shining out of his head.

"Kill It!" "Kill It, Bev!"

IT flips over them as they all duck, and goes down the drain. His hand sticks up, though. Bill grabs IT's hand, tugging on it as hard as he can. "Help me!" Bill yells. Stan runs over, accidentally running into Eddie.

Pennywise suddenly grabs everyone's hands and his fingers become claws. The claws become bird-like claws. They all scream as Pennywise finally goes down the drain.

"It's dead?" Richie asks, though doubt could be heard in his voice. Stan shakes his head.

"I don't think so-"

"We gotta get outta here!" Stan cuts Eddie off.

"We gotta go after It!"

"No, It's dead." 

"We have to make sure!"

"It sounded like it was dying-"

"But what if it didn't." A groan comes from the drain as water falls into it. And then there's silence. The Losers all look at each other, nobody daring to break the silence.

*=*

"Swear to me." Bill says, breaking the silence. They all look at him in confusion. "Swear to me, that if it isn't dead, we'll come back." Bill holds out his hand in the middle of the circle.

Bev is first to put her hand on top of Bill's. "I swear."

Ben covers his mouth, deciding. Though he puts his hand on top of Beverly's. "Swear."

Mike looks over at everyone, then puts his hand on Ben's. "I swear it."

Stan glances at everyone, yet does nothing. Richie does the complete opposite. He puts his hand on Mike's. "Yeah, swear." 

Eddie takes a breath in, as if he needed to take a puff of his inhaler. But he doesn't. Instead he puts his hand on Richie's. "I swear, too."

Bill glances at Stan, who shifts nervously. He looks over at Richie and they make eye-contact. Suddenly, his hand is on top of Eddie's. "Swear."

"Swear." Bill says and moves his arms to wrap around Beverly and Eddie, and everyone copies. They all touch foreheads, and stand there in silence.

*=*

"I didn't know Stan the Man was someone to make a promise about something. Usually you say 'Oh, I can't keep secrets!', isn't that right?" Richie mocks.

"Shut up." Stan says, though he's smiling. 

"Stan, you know he's right!" Eddie says, walking between him and Bill. Stan whispers something to the two and they both go "oooooh."

"Oh, oh Stanny the Manny, oh what'd you tell them?"

"None of your business." Stan says.

"Why're you s-starting every sentence with 'oh'?" Bill asks.

"Because you guys were going 'oooooh' when Stan told you something he won't tell me!" Richie crosses his arms.

"It's very secret." Stan says, smile still present on his face.

"Veeeerrry secret." Eddie says, playing along.

"Stanny, Stanny the Manny, you tell me all your secrets, though." Eddie and Bill look over at him in shock and Stan goes red.

"S-shut up, Rich!" Stan smacks his arm, and Richie laughs.

"Okay, okay, no more teasing. What kinda school work did we have? Was there a test to study for?"

"There's a test in geography class-" Stan cuts himself off by covering his face with his hands.

"What?" Eddie asks.

"I was gonna say 'hope you studied' but he's a straight-A student!" 

"Maybe not s-" Richie starts.

"Alright, alright, that's enough." Stan says, cutting him off. Bill whispers something to Eddie and he looks at him with wide eyes.

"Bill, what the heck!" Eddie laughs.

"What?" Stan and Richie ask at the same time.

"Oh, nothing." Eddie starts.

"It's a secret." Bill finishes.

"Haha, very funny." Stan says, though Richie shrugs and continues walking.

"We're here." Eddie says after a few moments of silence.

"Alright, we'll be right there."

"Hurry up next time. Last time you took 20 minutes."

"We'll be in there in 10 minutes." Stan says, shooing them away.

"Make sure you have a good day and don't get too stressed. If you do... well, you know what to do. Have fun." Stan smiles and Richie kisses him on the lips.

"Rich, we're in public." Stan says, though it's easy to see he doesn't mind the kisses.

"Sorry, sorry, anyways, have fun, you know what to do if you get stressed."

"I know exactly what to do. You have fun, though. Love you."

"I love you, too, Stanny." They walk into the school together, meeting with Bill and Eddie at the door.

 

Chapter 3: Charlie, Mike, and I (musical!candytroller)

Chapter Text

"Charlie, Mike, you've won!" Wonka says, seeming to be genuinely happy for them. 

"Another gobstopper?" Mike asks.

"Nope."

"A lifetime supply of sweets?" Charlie asks.

"Better."

"But what could possibly be better than a lifetime supply of sweets?" The two boys ask at the same time.

"Let me show you. Charlie, Mike and I, we make something out of nothing. Me and you, Charlie, we see things that aren't there. Mike, you and I, we ask how but never why." The boys stare at the Glass Elevator in excitement. "It's me and you, boys. Charlie, Mike and I. Welcome aboard my Great Glass Elevator." The two boys step inside, waiting for Wonka to enter. "I haven't been in this thing for years. Let's see if it still works. Push that button."

"The one marked 'Don't Push'?" Charlie asks him.

"That's the one."

"Something crazy is going to happen now, isn't it?"

"How did you guess?" Charlie smiles.

"I love when crazy things happen."

"So do I."

"When boys like you look to the sky, at the stars and planets passing by, if the boy's like me, he'll want to fly into the stratosphere. Go ahead, push it." Charlie pushes the button, and it starts to rise.

"And as we both rise into those skies your future will appear. That's why I've brought you to see the view from here." Wonka kneels down to the two boys height.

"When a boy has just a touch of odd and he walks the streets without a nod, he should know that odd is a gift from God, like this starry blue chandelier." Charlie looks around, a smile plastered on his face.

"And the more he lives," Wonka stands up, looking out as they continue to rise. "perspective gives him sight so crystal clear. That's why I brought you to see the view from here."

Wonka wraps his arms around the two boys shoulders, pointing out each thing. "So you could see the straights Magellan sailed the battlefields where good prevailed, the pyramids, St. Peter's dome, the tiny house that you call home..."

Wonka takes off his hat, kneeling beside them, so they sit down beside him. "Charlie, Mike, look down there! My factory, do you see it?"

"Yes, Mr. Wonka."

"I love my factory, guys. I love it more than anything in the world."

"So do we Mr. Wonka, so do we." Charlie looks up at Mike with a grin.

"Well, I'm very glad to hear that, Mike. Very glad. And you wanna know why?"

"Why?" Charlie asks.

"Because my chocolate factory... is your grand prize."

"What?!" Wonka smiles, laughing a bit.

"I'm giving it to you."

"But Mr. Wonka, why do you want to give away your factory?"

"Charlie, I'm older than you think. I can't keep running my factory forever, I've got to give it to someone new. Someone good, and honest, and kind, and who loves to mix things up..." Wonka  puts his hat back on, "and that someone, Charlie Bucket, is you and Mike." The two look at each other. Wonka pulls out a paper that was folded into a paper airplane, but was flattened.

"My letter!" Charlie takes the letter from him, flipping it over multiple times in disbelief. He stands up, 

"Charlie, you and I, we make something out of nothing. Me and you, Charlie, we see things that aren't there." "I cannot believe this. You and me, Mr. Wonka, floating flying in the air." Wonka stands up.

"Mike, you and I, we ask how but never why. It's me and you, boys. Me and you. When the world seems full of spies and thieves, and for all that's good, your spirit grieves. You may meet some boys, and they believe. And there's your new chocolatiers."

"And there could never be boys as fortunate as us."

"Me and Mr. Wonka. That one's Mars and Mr. Wonka! " Charlie points at the planet, and Wonka looks down with a smile. "All the stars and Mr. Wonka! " Charlie takes Wonka's hand, putting the letter in his pocket. "And he believes in what I do." Charlie looks over at Mike, holding out his hand. Mike takes his hand with no hesitation. They both smile at each other, and look up at Wonka. "Is it true? I'm a chocolatier! "

The Glass Elevator lands behind the gates, right in front of the doors. "And now high above." They all step out of the elevator, looking around in happiness.

"The thing we love."

"It's time for your premiere. That's why I brought you-"

"-To see the view from here."

"So take in this perfect speck of blue. And everything... I give to you, my factory! And to see..."

"The view from here." The three stand beside each other, staring at the doors. Charlie and Wonka put their arms around each other, while Charlie and Mike hold each others hand.

Charlie looks up at Wonka, and Wonka looks down at the two, pretending to not notice the two boys still holding hands. "So, Charlie, Mike, what do you th- what do you say? Do you accept?"

"Mr. Wonka, I can't..." Mike looks over at him in confusion.

"What-" Wonka starts, though Charlie cuts him off.

"Strike that reverse it! Of course I accept Mr. Wonka! Of course I do!" Wonka laughs, stepping away for a second.

"Mike?" Charlie looks over at him, giving him a hopeful look.

"I'll do it, sure, whatever." Mike says, though something felt off. Charlie smiles and hugs him. Mike looks down at him before hugging back a moment later. Suddenly, a whistle goes off, and the doors start to open.

"Oh, goodness me, is that the time?" Wonka steps in, though the two wait outside. "Come, come here boys, we have a factory to run!" Charlie looks down at the ground, and Wonka steps out. "Is something wrong?"

"My family." That was it. Neither of them were working with their family. "Our," Charlie corrects, noticing the look on Mike's face, "families."

"They're already inside. The Oompa-Loompa's have turned the whole top floor into a Bucket and Teavee Palace. I even gave Grandpa Joe his old job back."

"You know, Mr. Wonka, I really would've been happy with the gobstopper." Mike rolls his eyes, yet says nothing.

"Yeah, right!" Wonka pulls off Charlie's hat. "Although it was a good gobstopper, wasn't it? Ooh, know what would make it even better?"

"A marshmallow cream center?" Wonka backs up, shocked, and bows.

"I was gonna say cheese..." Mike scrunches his nose in disgust. "We'll go with yours. Well, c'mon Bucket!" He pulls out a hat that looks just like his, only smaller, and then looks at Mike. "And Teavee." He hands him the same hat. The boys look at each other with smiles. "You've both got daydreaming to do."

Charlie pokes Mike's shoulder. Right as he's about to say something stupid, Charlie slowly spins the hat and puts it on his head.

"No, you gotta spin it faster." Mike spins it quickly and sets it on top of the hat he was already wearing.

"Ah, I get it." Charlie takes the hat off, spins it quicker and puts it on. Mike nods with a smile.

"Just like that." Charlie smiles proudly.

"My name is Charlie Bucket, and I, make, chocolate." He looks over at Mike, who rolls his eyes again.

"My name's Mike Teavee, and I make chocolate with this dork." Charlie laughs, making Mike smile at him. Charlie whistles part of a song, and Mike immediately catches on and whistles the next part. They start to walk into the factory, hand in hand, and tip their hats to the crowd outside.

Chapter 4: Crazy Together (s2!byler)

Notes:

this chapter is so short h a h a h s o r r y

Chapter Text

Will pushes himself against the brick wall, wishing the stupid monster would just go away. He shuts his eyes tightly, pulling his knees to his chest. The monster gets closer, becoming louder, until somebody grabs his arm, making him jump.

"Will! What's wrong?" Will looked up at his boyfriend in fear, breathing heavily. "I- I couldn't find you, are you hurt?"

"Holy shit!" Dustin runs down the steps, Lucas following behind quickly.

"Is he okay?" Lucas asks, panicked. Max is there as well, beside Lucas.

"I don't know. I'm gonna get you home, okay? I'm gonna get you home. Hold on." Mike helps him up, and Dustin tries to help, saying to take it easy, only for Mike to say, "I got him, I got him."

"Mike?" Mike puts his arm around Will's shoulders. Will barely processes what was happening because he was still trying to take in what just happened.

"Keep trick-or-treating. I'm bored anyways."

"What's wrong with him?" Max asks.


"It's like... like, I'm stuck."

"Li- Like, stuck in the Upside Down?"

"No..." Will sighs. "You know on a... a view-master when it gets..." Will can't seem to find the words he was looking for.

"Caught between two slides?"

"Yeah, yeah, like that. Like, one side's our world, and the other... the other slide is the Upside Down." Will looks over at Mike, who's looking down, trying to process it. "And... and there was this noise coming from everywhere. Then I saw something."

"The Demogorgon?" Mike asks.

"No. It was like... this, this huge shadow... in the sky. Only... it was alive. And it was coming for me."

"Is this all real? Or is it like the doctors say, all in your head?"

"I don't know. Just- Just please don't tell the others, okay? They won't understand."

"Eleven would."

"She would?" Mike nods.

"Yeah. She always did. Sometimes I feel like I still see her. Like she's still around, but she never is. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Me too."

"Hey, well, if we're both going crazy, then, we'll go crazy together, right?"

"Yeah. Crazy together." Mike puts his hand on Will's, and Will flips his hand over and laces their fingers together. Mike smiles at him and kisses his cheek.

Chapter 5: Negativity (90!jalph)

Chapter Text

"I don't know if they can hold up. I mean, what if somebody gets really sick?" Ralph asks.

"Man, you gotta stop worrying so much! No parents, no teachers, no academy, no girls." Jack immediately realizes what he said, and tried to play it off. "Of course, I wouldn't mind gettin' a little every now and then." 

"Like you ever got any." Ralph jokes, making the tips of Jack's ears go red, as well as the rest of his face, though it goes away quickly.

"Well, I still wouldn't mind."

They walk together on the beach until Jack pushes Ralph into the sand. Jack laughs as Ralph groans as he hits his broken arm on the ground, but it wasn't hit too hard because he gets up and pushes Jack into the water.

Jack gets up and accidentally pushes him too hard and he hits his arm much harder. He grabs his arm, wincing.

"My arm-"

"You okay?" Jack asks, cutting him off on accident. He rolls over slightly, still gripping the makeshift cast on his arm.

Ralph pushes him with his legs, knocking Jack over.

"Sike!" Ralph laughs at him, and eventually Jack joins in.

Only a few minutes later, the two walk silently together through the forest, pushing the leaves and creepers out of their way.

Suddenly, a pig, maybe a boar, runs past them, and Jack attempts to run to kill it, holding his knife in hand. But the animal had gotten away, and Jack frowned.

"Nearly got 'em." He looks back at Ralph, who gives him a sad look. "Next time." He throws the knife down, crossing his arms.

"Hey, it's okay." Ralph says, putting his arm around his shoulders. "Whatever that is, it's faster than any of us. And we've just got on this island. You'll get it eventually, I promise." Ralph smiles at him. Jack looks at him and smiles, nodding. Ralph picks up the knife, handing it back to him.

"C'mon, let's get back."

The next day, the pilot had woken up. He wasn't speaking though. It was just him groaning in pain. Ralph, Piggy, Simon, and a few of the kids were watching.

Ralph looks over at the kids, and for some reason was mad they were there.

"Beat it, you kids! Come on! Why isn't anyone getting food or wood?" Ralph yells as the pilot continues to groan.

Suddenly, there was screaming and yelling from in front of him. He looks up and sees some of the choir kids swinging off a branch and into the small pond. He watches as Jack does a handstand underwater, and then they all start to splash water at each other.

He then looks over at the younger kids, and three of them were buried in the sand while two of them run around the three buried in the sand. They were yelling about spitting and at one point kicked one of them in the head.

Ralph started to blow the conch, and all the kids came running.

"There's an assembly!"

"Why is there an assembly?"

"An assembly? Why?"

"What's the reason for an assembly?"

Once everyone was crowded around Ralph, he started to speak.

"The reason I'm calling this assembly is... too many people are screwing around when they should be working! I mean there's a bunch of things! Some kids don't even know when to use the bathroom!"

"Yeah, there's this one kid, the other day," a kid sitting in one of the trees interrupts, "he took a shit in his pants and then sat it in. I'm not naming names 'cause it's possible Mikey couldn't help it!" He points at the little kid, Mikey, and everyone starts laughing at him and making fun of him.

"Everyone shut their goddamn mouths!" Piggy yells. It goes silent immediately. "Ralph's got the conch!"

"All I mean is that we have to have a little more discipline... and more spear fishing! We've gotta have real food!"

"We should be hunting pigs!" Someone says, though Ralph pays no attention to them.

"That's all I gotta say." It goes silent, any only the noise of people breathing can be heard. "Anyone else want the conch?"

"Some jerk off stole my pocket knife!"

"Yeah! Things are disappearing all over!"

"What are we gonna do with these when we catch 'em?"

"Beat 'em!"

"Beat the shit outta 'em!"

They all start yelling stupid things and lots of swears and sexual things.

"Okay, okay!" Ralph yells, and it falls silent. "We can't have kids stealing and just running wild. We're gonna have to have stricter rules! ...and hand out demerits, I guess." They start to laugh and giggle, making fun of Ralph.

"Demerits?"

"Demerits!"

"Eat shit and die!" The kids start cheering, but Mikey stands there, silently glaring at everyone.

Ralph looks over at the kids in the trees, who are also cheering with the others.

A boy named Peter walks up to him and says, "sir?"

Ralph looks down at him, and it goes quiet as Peter asks, "are we ever going home?"

"Of course we are. As soon as they see our signal." Ralph assures.

"Jack says we're never gonna be rescued." Ralph looks up at Jack and glares before lowering  himself down to Peter's height.

"No, you misunderstood him. That's not what he meant."

"That's exactly what I meant. There's eight million islands out here. Why should they find this one?" Ralph glares at him again.

"Don't listen to him. We will be rescued, Peter. Honest." 

Ralph looks up at Jack, and whispers to Peter, "I'll talk to him. Try to change his mind, y'know?"

Peter nods, and Ralph stands up.

"Jack, I'd like to talk to you. Now. Everyone else can go work." Before he can answer, Ralph walks away. Jack follows quickly, and finds him waiting at the edge of the forest.

"What do you want?" Jack snaps once he sits beside him.

"Listen, I know you wanna get off this island. I do, too. But we're never going to get out of here if you're negative. Because if you're negative, then other people'll be negative, and then nobody will have the motivation to do anything to try and get us off this island!"

"But what's the point of trying? There are tons of islands, so why would they find this specific one? We can't even see anywhere else! We're stranded, far away from civilization! We're never getting off the island!"

"But we have the chance, Jack. There's an adult with us! If Captain Benson wakes up, he could help us! We could get away, Jack! We would listen to him because we're all scared of saying no to an adult. Every kid is!"

"I'm not scared. That's stupid. Adults aren't scary. You just gotta manipulate them."

"But what seven through twelve year old knows how to do that?" Ralph asks, arms crossed.

"Me. I do."

"Besides you." Jack goes quiet. "Exactly. And I know that you wouldn't be able to manipulate Captain Benson because he's a pilot! He probably knows how to tell a lie from truth!"

"Whatever. We're not getting off this island because there is no way to get off the island. We, are, stranded. Benson doesn't have his plane, and we can't keep the signal fire going!" Jack yells.

"But if we got people to do their job then we would keep it going!"

"But nobody wants to because it's hopeless!"

"It's not hopeless, Jack! We have a chance!"

"No, Ralph, we don't have a chance!"

"Yes we do! You just have to trust me. Please."

"No! There's no chance!"

"How about you catching that boar, huh? What about that? Wasn't I specifically positive about you getting it, even though you barely have a chance?"

"That's not the point-"

"That's exactly the point, Jack!" Ralph interrupts, and grabs his shoulders. "You have less of a chance of getting the pig than us getting off the island. But I'm still positive that we'll do both. You're positive you'll get it eventually, so why aren't you positive we'll get away from here?"

"Because we can't see any land. If we can't see land, they can't see us."

"That isn't true. We're on an island with lots of trees, and we haven't even seen the whole island. How do we know what's there and what isn't? Why don't you wanna believe we won't get off the island? What, do you wanna stay here?"

Jack freezes, looking up at Ralph.

"Yes."

"Why would you wanna stay here?" Ralph asks.

"Because you can be yourself. No judgement, no being outed for who you are, no being an outcast for who you are. You have to work with everyone if you wanna get away."

"What do you mean 'be yourself'?"

"I mean I'm not into girls!" Jack yells, though he quickly lowers his tone. "At least not really..."

"What?" Ralph asks, not taking in a word of what he just said. Jack looks down in embarrassment.

"Remember when we were walking together, on the beach? And how I said something like 'no adults, no girls'? Yeah, and then 'I wouldn't mind getting a little' or something?" Ralph nods. "That's because I was trying to play it off, to convince you that I really do like girls, but I don't. At least not a lot. Not like a normal boy, like you."

"Who said I was normal?"

Jack starts to say something, but Ralph quickly cuts him off.

"Who said I didn't like a boy I barely talk to? That I walked with on the beach, while we were stranded on an island?" Jack looks up at him as blush spreads across his cheeks.

"Wait, w-what?"

"I'm saying that I like you, Jack. I really do. I don't know why, because it's not normal for a boy to like a boy, but I really like you. Like, more than a friend."

Jack smiles at him, finally feeling like someone actually understood what he meant.

"Yeah. More than a friend." Jack echos.

"So will you please be more positive about leaving the island? For me? No more negativity?" Jack looks down, smiling for the hundredth time.

"Fine." Ralph smiles, hugging him quickly.

"Thank you, Jack. Now I gotta check on the others, make sure they're doing their work." Jack laughs at the way his tone changed.

"Yeah, go check on the others. I'll be there soon."

"Alright. And don't tell Peter, or anyone else, really, we aren't leaving, because we will. I know it."

"Fine. No negativity. But can I still scare the kids with the stories?"

"Yes, you can still scare the kids with the stories. Alright, you better be back soon. See you later."

Chapter 6: Good Luck (90!jalph)

Chapter Text

The schoolboys walk through the creepers and leaves, holding wooden spears. They were looking for Captain Benson, who had suddenly disappeared overnight.

"Captain Benson!"

No response.

"Captain!"

Again, nothing.

"Captain Benson!"

Still no response.

The birds chirping covered up the sound of them walking, but not a lot, which wasn't too useful.

"Captain Benson!" Ralph calls for him one more time, but he gets no response.

"Take a breath, man." Jack says from behind him.

"He's gotta be close by. He's probably just lost."

They end up on the rocks where the tide comes in with fish they can get to eat.

"Look!" Simon runs up to the rocks, pulling a jacket and band-aids out from between two of rocks and folding them over his arm.

"It's nobodies fault, Simon. He just didn't know what he was doing."

"I don't think he's what you think. I don't think he's dead."

"Why not?"

"Where are his shoes? We gotta keep looking."

"He just swam out now."

"And his belt. He left his pants and swam out in his shoes and belt?"

Ralph nods. "He was crazy, Simon."

**

The next day, they're back in the same place, looking for Captain Benson.

The boar runs past, and Jack yells, "there it is! Get him!" and everyone throws their wooden spears at it. Roger jumps at it, trying to catch it, but misses and lands hardly on the ground.

Everyone crowds around him, and Jack leans down to help him,

"Rog, you okay man? That was some jump."

Roger sits up, his hand resting on his forehead from where he hit it. "Got him. Right up his ass."

"Up his ass?!"

"Yeah!"

One of them starts to crawl on the ground like a boar, and they all start to poke him with their spears.

"Get him!"

"Yeah! Get him!"

"Hey! Come on! Cut it out!"

"Stop it!" Ralph shouts, and they all stop poking him.

"You dorks! It hurt!"

"I know it hurt." They all stop as they watch Jack rub blood from his knife on Roger's face.

Once Jack was finished, he takes some of the blood and rubs it on his face.

**

The next day the hunters are back, walking through the forest.

Ralph, Piggy, and some of the little kids are walking with them as they walk along the shore with coconut shells.

"I've been thinking about a clock. We could make a clock."

"Yeah, sure, Piggy. Then a TV."

"No, really. We could a sundown with a stick in the ground."

"What's that noise?" One of the kids asks. They all start walking back the same way they just came from, trying to find what the noise was.

Suddenly, a helicopter goes by. They all drop the coconut shells and wave their hands, yelling for help. Ralph starts running, following the helicopter. He runs through the forest, and up onto the ledge where they keep the signal fire and starts waving his hands, yelling "over here!" over and over again.

The helicopter goes past, and Ralph looks down at the fire, only to see that it isn't there.

**

Ralph calls a meeting with the hunters, who now have blood on their faces like face paint.

"If you guys hadn't let the goddamn fire go out they would've seen it."

"Hey man, we were huntin'."

"Great, kill the pig. Face it, Jack, you fucked up. We could've been rescued."

"Back off, man! I'm sick of your shit and so's my gang!"

"Your gang? What's that supposed to mean?"

"What it means, Colonel, is that if you know it's good for you, you'll stop trying to run everything!" Jack shoves him, but Ralph shoves him back. They shove each other until Piggy comes in, pushing them both away from each other.

"Stop it!" Jack shoves Piggy down and the hunters start laughing.

Ralph helps him up quickly. 

"I'm sick of all this shit! I'm gonna make another camp for hunters! Guys gonna have a little fun." The hunters cheer.

"Come on, Jack, that's crazy! We've gotta work together! Come on, what do you say?"

"I say fuck you! And that goes for you, too, Miss Piggy. Come on lets get out of this kindergarten." They walk away, bringing the pig they killed with them.

"Wait!"

"What do you want? You wanna lecture us on how we have to stick together or something?"

"No. I'd like to talk. One on one. Leader to leader."

"Fuck you."

"Come on, Jack."

"Fine. What are you gonna talk about? Leadership?"

"No. It'd be easier to talk about this alone because I'm sure you're gonna flip it on me and get your hunters to back you up."

"Fine, send your people away, and I'll send my gang away."

Ralph turns back to the others, whispering something to them. They all run off, going to work.

Ralph turns to face him. "Your turn."

The hunters go running before Jack says anything.

"Alright, now what is it-" Jack starts before quickly getting cut off by Ralph.

"Look, Jack, I'm gonna be straight up and say that I really like you. I really do. But you're going off to start another camp, and you're taking the fire. How are we supposed to survive?"

"Maybe if you joined us, you'd have fire."

"But it's our fire, Jack. You can't take our fire."

"I can do what I want. I'm the leader of the hunters and they do what I say-"

"But you're not our leader. I just wanna cooperate. If we lose you, we lose our fire, and we lose some of our people because you want to rebel and they do, too. Please, just cooperate."

"No way! We're tired of your rules!"

"I'll change some of the rules for you! I just..." Ralph trails off, trying to think off a different way to word his sentence.

"You just what? Finish your sentence."

"I just... I really don't wanna lose you."

"What?"

"I don't wanna lose you, Jack! You're important, and as much as I act like I hate you, I really don't. It's actually kinda hard to hate you. You're determined, and you stand up for yourself, even if it isn't in the nicest way."

"You don't wanna lose me?"

"No, I don't. I'm sure Piggy would love to, but I don't want to."

"I-" Jack almost seems flustered, but either figures out how to hide it or got over it, "whatever. You have an exception of coming to our camp to stay for fire, but that's it."

"I appreciate it, Jack."

"Good. You should appreciate it because I could just give you nothing."

"But you're not, and I'm happy."

"Well you can go and keep your stupid signal fire going, but I'm going to hunt."

"Be safe. Oh and good luck."

"Good luck with me hunting? Why would I need-"

"No, not hunting. You're great at hunting. Good luck with this."

"What?"

Ralph makes the risky choice of hugging Jack, but surprisingly he doesn't push him away. He actually hugs him back, resting his chin on the top of his head.

"Good luck."

"Yeah, whatever."

Chapter 7: No Agreeing Bet (05!candytroller)

Chapter Text

"Charlieee."

"What do you want now?"

"Hey, I was just gonna ask you a question."

"What?"

"You're almost done, right?"

Charlie looks up at Mike, who's laying across the seat, legs dangling off the side.

"Yes, I'm almost done." Mike nods and puts his attention back on his phone.

"-that chocolate fellow, Windle- uh, Walter." Charlie looks up at the man after hearing the word 'chocolate', only to look at the newspaper he was holding.

"Willy Wonka." Charlie corrects.

"That's the one. Says here in the paper his new candies aren't selling very well. But I suppose maybe he's just a rotten egg who deserves it."

"Yup." The boys say at the same time.

"Oh really? You ever met him?" Charlie looks over at Mike with a 'he actually thinks he's smart' look. Mike shrugs and mouths to play along.

"I did. I thought he was great at first, but then he didn't turn out so nice. He also has a funny hair cut." Mike covers his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

The man slams the paper down. "I do not!"

"Why're you here?" Charlie asks.

"I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?"

"My family." Charlie glances at Mike, and he shrugs again.

Wonka makes a disgusted face and says, "ew" and leans back in the seat.

Charlie stands up. "What do you have against my family?"

"It's not just your family, it's the whole idea of-" Wonka stops, trying to say the word, but only sighs when Charlie doesn't help him. "You know, they're always telling you what to do, what not to do, and it's not conducive to a creative atmosphere."

"Usually, they're just trying to protect you because they love you." Wonka makes another disgusted face. "If you don't believe me, you should ask."

"Ask who? My father? Haha, no way. At least not by myself." Charlie looks over to Mike, who rolls his eyes but nods in agreement before Charlie can ask him the question. Charlie looks back at Wonka and asks,

"You want me to go with you?"

Wonka looks down at the boy and smiles. "Hey... hey what a good idea! Yeah!" Wonka stands up, setting the newspaper down on the chair. Charlie pulls Mike out of the chair and drags him along.

"And you know what? I got transport-" Wonka slams into the glass elevator and Mike silently laughs. Wonka stands up, fixing his hat. "I have to be more careful where I park this thing." The three enter the elevator. Wonka presses a button and the elevator lifts and then they're off.

<|>

The elevator lands in the middle of nowhere with one single building that looks like it had been ripped out of the ground and out of the buildings around it. They all step out and walk up to the building. Mike fidgets with the end of his sleeve as they walk up the steps.

"I think we've got the wrong house-" Wonka turns to the door, but sees the sign that says;

DR. WILBUR WONKA, D.S.S.
DENTAL PRACTITIONER.

Wonka makes a face of regret, and Charlie pushes the doorbell. Charlie looks up at Wonka, then back at Mike. The door opens and a man with white hair and clothes and black glasses steps out.

"Do you have an appointment?" The man they assume to be Wonka's father asks.

"No. But he's overdue." Wilbur lets them in, and Wonka sits in the chair. He leans back in it and Charlie and Mike stand behind Wilbur.

"Open." At that point, both boys have tuned them out. Charlie looks around at all the newspaper articles on the walls.

"Mikey, look. It's all about Wonka and his career."

"He's got a book full of stuff, too. And he still doesn't have a single picture of him." Charlie giggles.

"You have a point. He only has pictures of him when he was younger."

"Ew, what is that." Charlie lightly hits his arms.

"Don't say that!" He says with a smile.

"What? He doesn't look... right?" Charlie laughs.

"Well, yeah. We've never seen him as a kid, so we're gonna be used to him as an adult. But that doesn't mean he 'doesn't look right'."

"Whatever. You're just denying it 'cause I'm right."

"You are not right!"

"I am right! I'm always right."

"No you're not!"

"Yes, I am!"

"You. Are. Not. Right." Charlie lightly claps between each word.

"Shut up and agree with me."

"Well what if I don't want to-"

"Too bad." Mike pulls him into the room beside them, acting interested in everything.

"Why're you suddenly interested in this?"

"I'm not interested, it's just funny."

"What's funny?"

"He's got tons of articles, yet couldn't bring himself to go and see him. He's even bought his candy and he still can't go and see him!"

"Maybe anxiety. Or maybe fear of rejection. Or being a bad person again." Charlie lists of the possible reasons, though they all didn't seem right.

"Yeah, no."

"What do you mean? That's exactly what it is!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-uh."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yeah!"

"Agree with me, Charlie!"

"No."

"Oh my God, you're being so annoying." Mike crosses his arms for at least the tenth time today.

"No, I'm being reasonable." Charlie mocks him, crossing his arms after him.

"How is it 'reasonable' to not agree with me!"

"Because you're being dumb."

"No. I'm just being... smart."

"No, you're not being smart-"

"You fight like an old married couple." Someone says from behind them.

"Oh, shut up."

"He's not wrong."

"That's why I want him to shut up." Charlie giggles, turning to face Wonka, who was standing in the doorway.

"We have to get going."

"Alright. Charlie, what is this place?"

"It's supposed to be a dentist office."

"In the middle of nowhere? Yeah no."

"Well, he pulled it out of other buildings as if it was a Lego or something, so I wouldn't expect too much."

"Guys we have to get going-"

"Yeah, yeah. Cool. Anyways, why would he just-"

"Charlie, Mike, we're leaving."

"Would you stop interrupting me?" Mike glares at Wonka, and he leaves to go talk to his father again. "Anyways, why would he just, pull it out of the ground? What kind of idiot would do that?"

"I don't know. I'm not him."

"Well, I think it's stupid."

"Yeah, it was probably a stupid reason." Charlie shrugs.

"Wait, am I dreaming?"

"What?"

"Did you just-"

"No! No, I didn't!"

"Yeah! You actually agreed with me!"

"No I didn't-"

"Hah! I did it! You said you wouldn't for the whole day, but you did. I won the bet."

"Ugh, you suck."

"Yeah, I love you, too."

"Charlie! Mike! Let's go!" Charlie takes Mike's hand, pulling him to the door.

"Jeez, someone's happy to leave."

"Shut up." Charlie crosses his arms, waiting for Wonka to come to the door.

"I'd rather not, but thanks anyways."

"Yeah, yeah. I don't want you to shut up, either."

"Yeah, I assumed so."

"Wonka, I wanna go home!" Charlie yells.

"Sorry. I was talking to my dad about... something. We can leave now."

Chapter 8: Betty ( taylor swift ) (dreamnotfound)

Notes:

in this , george is georgie / george because georgie rhymes and im playing it off as the nickname dream uses for him because i have no other excuse

Chapter Text

Georgie, I won't make assumptions  about  why you switched your homeroom  but  I think it's 'cause of me

Clay, better known as Dream, hasn't seen George in his homeroom for weeks. Dream misses him, and he's scared George doesn't miss him. Dream sighs, shaking the thoughts from his head and walking to class.

Georgie, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your house it's like I couldn't breathe

Dream remembers when he was skateboarding past George's house and felt his thoughts fade away and his breath get caught in his throat. He skates past as fast as possible.

You heard the rumors from Inez, you can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true

When Dream finally sees George after school, he can't remember why he would ever do what he did. He was in love with George, and it almost felt like it wasn't even himself making him do it.

The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you

Dream hears about the party George is having on Saturday night from a text he got from Nick, who goes by Sapnap. He thinks about how he doesn't want to go to the party, because what if George hates him?

But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself, or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?

Dream shakes that thought away because he didn't think it was just a summer thing. He actually liked- no, loved him.

I'm only seventeen I don't know anything, but I know I miss you

"Well, yeah, I know that." Dream whispers to himself. He sighs, giving up on his "plan" and going to bed.

Georgie, I know where it all went wrong, your favorite song was playing from the far side of the gym

Dream can remember that dumb song playing. He never really liked it. George would play it on repeat and Dream was so sick of it. But he never said anything.

I was nowhere to be found I hate the crowds, you know that, plus, I saw you dance with him

Dream remembers getting so jealous when he heard Inez saying "George is dancing with Wilbur!" Dream obviously didn't believe it until he saw them dancing together with his own eyes.

You heard the rumors from Inez, you can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true. The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you

Dream is back at home, laying on his back when he continues on his "plan" from last night, trying to think of something other than "George hates me."

But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?

Dream is very tempted to scream into his pillow. He tells himself all the time that it wasn't just a summer thing.

I'm only seventeen I don't know anything but I know I miss you

Dream frowns because he really misses George. He genuinely misses him. He remembers how everything started.

I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you when he pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions. He said "Clay, get in, let's drive." Those days turned into nights slept next to him but I dreamt of you all summer long

He remembers only thinking of George when Dream was sleeping with him. Dream finally makes up his mind, seeing as it was now Saturday night.

Georgie, I'm here on your doorstep, and I planned it out for weeks now but it's finally sinking in

Dream just realized how difficult this may be. Dream paces back and forth, going over his "plan" over and over again.

Georgie, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again

Dream forgets everything and thinks about one thing, his real plan.

The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you

Dream watches as more people walk into the house. He tells himself to just breathe in and breathe out. It's not as hard as he's making it out to be.

So, I showed up at your party. Yeah, I showed up at your party

Dream walks into the house and his eyes dart around the room, looking at everyone here. He can see Inez in the corner of the room talking with some guy. He sees Nick with another boy. Luke, was it? Isn't he Punz? Or is it someone else?

Yeah, I showed up at your party, will you have me? Will you love me?

Dream walks out to the porch and sees George with Wilbur and some younger boys, one named Tommy and the other Toby, who goes by Tubbo. Tommy and Tubbo were always connected at the hip.

"Dream, didn't think you would make it." George smiles. Dream looks at him like George had forgotten everything that happened.

"Are we okay?" Was the first thing Dream asks. Tommy starts laughing, leaning on Tubbo's shoulder. Tommy whispers something to Tubbo and they both start laughing.

"Yeah, I've gotten over it." Dream smiles and doesn't hesitate to run and hug George tightly. When he feels George hug him back, he feels as if he's suddenly going to collapse.

"Y'know, I really missed you." Dream said looking back at George.

Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?

"So did I. May I?" Dream tries to figure out the expression on George's face. Dream nods and feels his knees go weak as George pushes his lips onto Dream's.

If you kiss me will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only seventeen I don't know anything but I know I miss you

When they pull away, Dream can hear Tommy and Tubbo screaming as if they just won the lottery. Wilbur looks... shocked? He can't really figure it out, but it doesn't matter, because George forgave him.

Standing in your cardigan

"You're in my cardigan, did you realize?" Dream goes red as he looks down at what he was wearing. It was, in fact, George's cardigan. He smiles awkwardly.

"Oops."

Kissing in my car again, stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you

The party had ended a while ago, but Dream and George were driving back to Dream's, and when they stopped at a light, Dream kissed George again. George became flustered and looked away, out the window.

"Georgie, the lights green, you can go."

"Oh, I didn't realize." George continues driving.

"Yeah, I wonder why." Dream smiles.

Chapter 9: Carnivals (dreamnotfound)

Notes:

dream and george live in the same town and they live near each other so they went to the carnival near the town. i dont know if this is a ship ?? it's more a best friends thing. until the end cause i got bored lmaoo

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

There's no doubt that Dream was afraid of, and done with, amusement parks and carnivals.

He had seen those scary videos of people falling off of rides and the rigged games people spent way too much money on.

But George, his best friend, said he wanted to go to the carnival in a town around where they lived, and he wasn't gonna say no to him.

"This better be worth it." Dream mumbled.

"Oh, it's gonna be worth it. This carnival is one of the best ones in the state!" George said, a slight bounce with every step he took. It didn't take a genius to tell he was excited.

"Is it safe?" Dream asked randomly.

"Of course it is, why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know... What if someone falls off the ride?"

"Nobody's gonna fall off the ride. Nobody has for years!"

"What about those stupid rigged games?"

"Of course they have the stupid rigged games! What kind of carnival would it be without stupid rigged games?"

"A better one if the games were playable and not rigged."

George sighed. "Lighten up, you're so upset to be here. Why?" George asked, stopping.

"Because, I don't like carnivals. Or amusement parks." George gasped.

"Why not?"

"They freak me out and they're stupidly expensive and all the games are rigged and impossible."

"Well, they have a trampoline that you do flips on and stuff, you know?" George said, pointing to the trampolines with kids bouncing up and down and flipping in the air. "And they have a bouncy castle, except a obstacle course or something, but the air-blower thingy is a bit loud." George then pointed at the bouncy castle, filled with kids, and some going down the slides at the end to get out.

"Those are for the little kids, though."

"So I'm a little kid, then?" George asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, you're really short as well."

George pouted, his arms still crossed. "Well that's not very nice."

"Well what if I'm not a nice person?" Dream asks, mocking George.

"Whatever. Let's go!"

==_-_==

Of course George had to choose to go on a roller-coaster first.

"Really? You choose this first?" Dream asks.

"Of course, it's gonna be fun! This is, like, the best one!"

George notices Dream fidgeting with his sleeve on his sweatshirt.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just nervous."

"It's gonna be fun. I promise. Pinkie promise." George holds outs his finger.

==_-_==

Was the ride fun? Maybe. Did Dream enjoy the roller-coaster that suddenly went in a loop? No.

"Oh my God, that was awesome!" George smiles.

"No, it wasn't. Someone could have fallen out and died."

"But they didn't, right? So let's do another!"

"What about the swings?" Dream points to them.

"Oh, I love those! Come on!" George grabs his hand and pulls him along.

==_-_==

They waited in line for 5 minutes.

"We waited in line for, like, 10 seconds."

"That's a good thing, Dream."

"Whatever you say."

"Look, those ones are opened! And they're right behind each other!" George pulls Dream over.

"How do these work?" George sighs and walks over to Dream.

"Dream, look, you link the chains like this, and these ones go over your shoulder and link together. See?"

"George, go sit down, the rides gonna start any second-"

"Excuse me, sir, can you please sit down? We'd like to start the ride." George walked back to his seat, "Thank you."

"I'm so mad right now." George crossed his arms and glared at the worker as they walked away.

"Aw, that sucks. Do you need me to hold your hand? Give you a hug?" Dream teased.

"You're so funny, Dream."

"Oh I know."

==_-_==

"Dream, I found cotton candy! And popcorn!"

"Very cool, George."

"Do you want some?" George asks.

"You haven't even bought it."

"I'm about to."

"Alright, while you buy that, I'm finding another thing to do. Stay here, alright?" And Dream walked away, looking for another ride they haven't been on yet.

Five minutes passed and Dream found one and ran back. George was patiently waiting, eating his popcorn.

"Oh, George, you would not believe this. It's not a roller-coaster, but it's a ride, I guess. But we completely missed it! It's like-"

"I don't care about how the ride goes, I wanna see the ride!" Dream rolls his eyes and leads him to another ride, and they pass the Ferris wheel on the way there.

"Wait, Dream! Look! We completely missed the Ferris wheel! And it's even got moving carts!" George pointed at the carts that moved every time the Ferris wheel moved.

"This looks like fun. What do you think?" George looks up at him.

"Well, I mean, we could have missed some other rides..." Dream trails off, staring at his shoes.

"It's gonna get dark in, like, an hour. The Ferris wheel would be the perfect thing to end on."

"Just, lemme show you the ride." Dream walks away, George running after him.

==_-_==

"What is this?" George asks, staring at the ride with confusion.

"It's like, gliders, but they're attached to a ride. And there's a platform to lay on so you don't fall off. They're fun, I promise."

"I don't know, it looks unsafe. But let's do it anyways!"

They waited in line for about 10 minutes. The man operating the ride opened the fence door 

"That one's open, George."

"Alright, this better not be boring."

"It's not, I promise."

"That's the second time you've said 'I promise'." George laughed.

"Shut up."

==_-_==

"That was awesome!" George laughed.

"Yeah it was!"

"It's night. We should get going." Dream starts to walk away.

"Hey! Wait! You said we would go on the Ferris wheel!" George grabs Dream's hand.

"Do we have to?" Dream asks.

"Yes! C'mon!" George continues to hold Dream's hand as they walk to the line.

They waited for longer than they wanted to. When they stepped on the cart, it swung.

"George! You-" Dream could see George snickering. "You got the swinging cart!"

"Yeah, this is gonna be so fun!" George laughed as the Ferris wheel moved, making the cart swing. Dream immediately tried to grab onto something, shutting his eyes quickly.

George wrapped his arms around Dream as the cart moved again. George was definitely laughing, but he still felt a little bad.

"Dream, you should open your eyes and look at how pretty the carnival looks at night."

"No fucking way am I doing that."

"Dreamyy."

"Gogyy." Dream mocked.

"C'mon Dream just open your eyes. You're gonna like the view, I promise."

"I'm trusting you." The cart swings, making Dream panic even more.

"I got a grip on you, you won't fall. Just open your eyes."

Dream sighed and opened his eyes.

They quickly widened as he realized how high up they were. Halfway to the top of the Ferris wheel. But when he looked up, he forgot about all the fear he just had.

It was mesmerizing. The lights on the rides were flashing brightly. The rides looked like they were flying because the lights covered up the tracks. The stupid rigged games had lights around the prizes, and they looked much better than in the morning. The signs on the food carts were insanely detailed.

And George...

"Well, what do you think?" George asks. The cart swayed back and forth, yet Dream didn't even realize.

"It's all so... bright, and carefree, and pretty."

"Mhm. It's fun, right? Looking at all the colors." Dream nods, ignoring the fact that they're almost at top of the Ferris wheel.

"Oh, and almost all the rides have blue lights and it makes you look really good." Dream randomly says while staring out at the rides.

"W-What?"

"You heard me. You look good with the blue lighting." Dream looks over at George. He's gone red, and he's messing with his fingers.

"I-" George goes quiet as Dream grabs his hands.

"Can I?" Dream asks. George nods.

Dream presses his lips against George's. He can feel George smile as he kisses back.

George pulls away first. "Top of the Ferris wheel."

Dream stares out the side, completely ignoring the swaying cart.

"Maybe I'm not as scared anymore because you're with me."

"Such a simp." George rolled his eyes with a smile.

"Yeah, your simp."

Notes:

guys idk what happened this was supposed to be a cute best friends thing how did it become that 😭😭

Chapter 10: Thunderstorm (dreamnotfound)

Notes:

dream and gogy live together and they're deffo dating already

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Outside, a loud rumble of thunder was heard, then a flash of lighting through the window.

Dream sits in his room, headphones in, listening to the rain hit his window and the occasional sound of thunder with a flash of lightning.

George, on the other hand, is desperately trying not to bother Dream, seeing as he could be busy streaming or talking to friends or something.

George screamed as the rumble of thunder had scared him. George was definitely on the verge of crying.

Dream looked up as George screams, unplugging his headphones and taking them off. He didn't even get past his bed before George came in. Dream looked up at him, sat down on the bed and held his arms out.

George ran into his arms, crying.

"What's wrong?" Dream asked, rubbing comforting circles on George back.

"Th-the thunder is f-freaking me out. I g-get it's stupid but-"

"No, no, it's okay to be scared of things. It's not stupid."

"Yeah but-"

"No, I don't take criticism." Dream smiled. George buried his head farther into Dream's sweatshirt when the thunder went off again.

"Do you wanna... you know... cuddle?" Dream asked. George nodded quickly.

Dream laid down as George wrapped his arms around Dream's chest, laying down beside him. George buried his head in Dream's sweatshirt again, trying not to cry. Dream puts his arms around George's waist, pulling him closer. They sat in a comfortable silence, and George flinched every time the lightning flashed through the window and the thunder roared.

"You know I love you, right?" Dream asked randomly. George nods.

"I love you too Dreamy."

==_-_==

Eventually the thunderstorm was over and it was just the light tapping of the rain on the window.

George was on the verge of sleep.

Dream looks down at him. George looks up at Dream.

Dream kisses him softly. George smiles, and buries his head in Dream's sweatshirt before falling asleep.

Notes:

i hate : this

breed : different

on : jah

no : cap

ew wtf did i just do-

Chapter 11: Girls ( girl in red ) (dreamnotfound)

Notes:

just before i start , this is fem!george and fem!dream. george's name will be georgia / georgie and dream will be dream lmao

thoughts will be underlined and italics cause the lyrics are italics :))

Chapter Text

I've been hiding for so long. But these feelings, they're not gone. Can I tell anyone?

Georgia paced around her bedroom. Why don't I like that boy in class like I'm supposed to?

Afraid of what they'll say, so I push them away. I'm acting so strange.

Her mother had told her multiple times;

These girls aren't what you're supposed to find attractive. The boys are attractive to you, alright?

They're so pretty, it hurts.

Georgie had to just accept it. She likes girls.

I'm not talking about boys, I'm talking about girls. They're so pretty with their button-up shirts.

Georgia had met this girl that went by Dream later on. She said it was because Dream's mother always said "she was a dream come true". They had started secretly dating, and, as of now, have been for around a month.

I shouldn't be feeling this, but it's too hard to resist.

Georgie and Dream met up multiple times at a pond a few miles away from a gas station. The town they were in was so homophobic and this was like a get-away place for them. Nobody knew about it, so they never worried.

Soft skin, and soft lips.

Georgia's mother had caught them holding hands one time and was so pissed. Georgia was grounded for a week and wasn't aloud to go to school and did everything after school when it was sent home to her.

I should be into this guy. But it's just a waste of time. He's really not my type.

Georgia's mother had set her up on a date with this one guy, who Georgie immediately recognized.

It was the quarterback for the football team.

Thankfully, neither of them were interested in each other, so they both went home a lot earlier then they were supposed to.

Georgie's mother blamed it on Dream. Saying things like "It's just a phase." and "You just think you like her."

I know what I like. No, this is not a phase or a coming of age. This will never change.

Georgia was done with hearing this stuff and had told her to shut up. She had told her, "It's not a fucking phase. I know who I like. I know that it's not changing, ever, so stop praying that it will."

Georgie didn't go home that night.

They're so pretty, it hurts. I'm not talking about boys, I'm talking about girls. They're so pretty with their button-up shirts

Georgia had ran to the pond a few miles away from a gas station. She had spammed Dream on Snapchat until she answered.

| Georgie: dream

| Georgie: dreamiee

| Georgie: babeeee

| Georgie: DREAM!

| Dream: what?

| Georgie: come to the pond

| Georgie: i'm in a bit of a problem

| Georgie: 😬

| Dream: i'll be right there.

They're so pretty, it hurts. I'm not talking about boys, I'm talking about girls. They're so pretty with their button-up shirts.

Dream had gotten there around 20 minutes later and took Georgia to her house.

'Cause I don't know what to do. It's not like I get to choose who I love.

Dream and Georgia had been cuddling when Dream's father walked in.

"Oh, this is the girl you were talking about, right?" Georgie giggled as Dream's face went red in embarrassment. Dream's father walked over to Georgia and she flinched when he stuck his hand out for her to shake.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Georgia, I promise. You're safe here."

Who I love.

Georgie was crying from happiness. Dream was hugging her as Georgie was crying onto her shoulder.

Who I love.

Dream kissed her forehead and Georgia blushed.

Who I love.

When they woke up that morning, Dream's father had made them breakfast. Bacon, toast, and eggs. Georgia never got this after she had told her mother she was in love with girls.

They're so pretty, it hurts. I'm not talking about boys, I'm talking about girls. They're so pretty with their button-up shirts.

Dream had been wearing a flannel, button-up shirt. She gave one to Georgie that was, surprise, too big for her.

And they're so pretty, it hurts. I'm not talking about boys, I'm talking about girls.

Georgia's mother was spamming her, saying things like

"Get home now or you're grounded until you move out." and "You're a disgusting disgrace you f4gg0t."

Georgia had blocked her social media and phone number. She wouldn't be getting hateful messages from her mother again.

They're so pretty, it hurts.

Dream hugged Georgie tightly.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Chapter 12: Skirts (dreamnotfound)

Summary:

trigger warning : crossdressing

Notes:

guys this is literally just femboy gogy and dream probably being a horny mf 🧍🧍 /j

no but actually its basically gogy " being forced " to wear a skirt when dream literally just suggested it cause they were stealing things from drista and george was acting like he was pissed cause he had to wear a skirt but he doesnt actually mind 🧍

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

George stares at Dream in disbelief.

"You want me... to wear this?" George holds up a light blue skirt and a matching light blue crop top.

"Yes." George sighed.

"Fine! Okay! Give me a minute."

==_-_==

"Ugh, you're taking forever in there! It's been like 15 minutes! Hurry up-" Dream stops as George walks out.

"Gogy, c'mere." Dream makes grabby hands at George, who blushes and walks over to him.

"You're so pretty." Dream pulls George onto his lap and peppering his face with kisses.

"Dreamy, stop it." George laughs.

"Aww, why?" Dream pouts.

"Because. I'm hungry."

"Alright, what do you want?"

"Cookies." Dream stares at him.

"You want to make cookies?" George nods.

"Fine. But only because I love you so very much."

==_-_==

"Damn, these are some bomb cookies." George bites into another cookie.

"I make good cookies, George."

"I can tell." George plays with the ruffles in the skirt.

"You still look so good, Georgie." George blushes, covering his face with his hands.

"Dreammm, stopp, you're making me blush."

"But you look cute when you blush. Move your hands." Dream pulls his hands away from his face.

"You're such a simp."

"No, I just love you too much." Dream pecks George's lips.

"I'll say it again. You're a simp."

"I'll say it again. I love you way too much." George goes even more red, and buries his face in Dream's hoodie.

"You should wear this stuff more often." Dream says.

"If I get this much attention, maybe I will."

Notes:

YALL THIS WAS SO RUSHED BUT I DONT WANNA REWRITE ANYTHING 🧍🧍

Chapter 13: Can't Sleep (dreamnotfound)

Notes:

george cant sleep so dream comes to the rescue and theyre already dating ( duh )

oh yeah george and dream are sharing a room , bad and skeppy are , and sap and karl are :))

and no this isnt a crack chapter i just give stupid recap of what happens before you read it

oh yeah this is rlly short i started this rlly late at night and im fucking tired

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

George sits up, clearly annoying his boyfriend, Dream.

"Dream?"

Dream pretends to be asleep.

"Dream."

Dream ignores him again.

"Dream, please."

"What, George?" Dream asks, not opening his eyes.

"I can't sleep."

"Cool, go ask Bad if he can help."

"He's either asleep or making out with-"

"Okay, okay, fine. Why can't you sleep?" Dream asks, rubbing his eyes as he sits up.

"I don't know."

"Take some Melatonin or something, I don't know."

It's silent for a few minutes.

"Dreamy."

"What."

"I can't sleep."

"Did you not just listen to me-"

"I did, I just can't find the bottle."

Dream sighs.

"Alright, I'll help you look."

"Alright."

They looked around their shared room for 15 minutes.

"See? Nowhere." George says, yawning.

"You just yawned. You're tired." Dream crosses his arms.

"Just cause I yawned doesn't mean that I'm tired. I can't even sleep."

Dream sits down on their shared bed.

"C'mere." George sits down beside him.

Dream wraps his arms around his torso.

George melted into his touch.

"You tired now?" Dream asked.

George nodded.

Notes:

ew i hate this wtf

Chapter 14: Like Or Like-Like Me ( miniature tigers ) (dreamnotfound)

Notes:

lyrics in italics and and thoughts in bold

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I watched you through your window. I was wearing that dumb sweatshirt. I looked like a goon

Dream told George to wait while he got ready because he was an hour early.

I was dressed for winter. Even though it was the middle of June

George was wearing Dream's sweatshirt, which was way too big for him, and was making it impossible to survive in the middle of June.

I watched you get undressed. I must have turned bright red 'cause I couldn't stand to face you

George pulled the hood over his eyes and covered his eyes with his hands. He didn't mean to look up at the window.

'Cause I liked what I saw. And maybe we should just be friends

Eventually, George was invited inside. They played video games, like Mario Kart and Minecraft.

Tell me how you feel about me. Do you like or like-like me? Tell me what you really feel. Do you like me

They both liked each other and had admitted it. But Dream doesn't want to date him. Dream was saying it was because "everyone's so homophobic here and I don't want you to be hurt."

George wasn't up for it. He was a little pissed, but overall he was confused. He had never met anyone homophobic, besides a few of his old friends that moved away and his parents.

Just say you do

Just say you do George thought as he hugged Dream goodbye and left to go home.

I climbed up your front porch and I doorbell ditched ya. And I felt so bad

The next day, George thought it would be funny to "come over" (but he obviously wasn't going to). He rang Dream's doorbell but he started laughing so it was harder to get away in time as a prank.

Couldn't cop to what I did. So I laughed myself sick all the way to my car

Dream found George laughing in his arm as he sat in his car.

"Jesus Christ, are you okay?" Dream asks.

"I'm gonna die I'm laughing so much." George continued to laugh as Dream pulled him out of his car and carried him into his house so he wasn't sitting in the heat. Dream set him down on his bed.

Tell me how you feel about me. Do you like or like-like me? Tell me what you really feel

"You're lucky I love you or you'd still be in your car, dying of heat." Dream sighs with a laugh.

Do you like me? Just say you do

"Do you really love me though?"

Tell me how you feel about me. Do you like or like-like me?

"Of course, we're best friends." George frowned.

Tell me what you really feel. Do you like me?

"Just best friends?" Dream nods.

"Yeah, just best friends."

Tell me how you feel about me. Do you like or like-like me?

"But what about when you told me you liked-"

"George, I can't. My parents-"

"Your parents love me! And you told me you came out to them! And they accepted you!"

"Cause they did! But I don't wanna out you, George."

"I'm sure they know by now. I mean, multiple times I've given them a sign."

Tell me what you really feel. Do you like me?

"George, please."

"Who's homophobic? I'm pretty sure this whole town is LGBT+. I mean, have you seen Avery? Or Ellena? They're always together, and literally can't leave the others side."

"We do the same thing!"

"But you like me! And I like you, too. Also they don't dress like a straight girl." Dream starts laughing. "C'mon, I'm not wrong!"

"Okay, I'm gonna agree with you on that one."

"Anyways, will you please reconsider? I know you could be uncomfortable, but I never said it had to be a public relationship-"

"I do wanna date you. I really do. I'll do it." George smiles.

Just say you do

"Just say you do next time."

Notes:

inspiration for any of my stories : gone 🤪

wtf is wrong with me-

also yes the " will you please reconsider ? " is a dteam joke. iykyk

Chapter 15: Movies (book!jalph)

Notes:

haha no island

its actually , like , all the main characters ( samneric , simon , maurice , roger , piggy , ralph and jack ) are sleeping at ralphs house like a ✨ s l e e p o v e r ✨ bc why not lmao

mentions of rogice and 100% jalph lmao

listen , im bored okay- i wanted write about trans!simon , regular whiny piggy , just regular samneric being literal icons , not normal roger but not soft!roger , soft!jack , just regular dumbass but also soft!ralph and normal iconic maurice rn im ( literally not ) sorry

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Hey... Hey, Ralph."

Ralph sighs, sitting up.

"Piggy? What's up?"

"Do you think the internet will go out from the storm?"

"It could. I'm not sure. Hopefully it doesn't. We could watch a movie later if the power isn't out."

"It would be nice to watch a movie. What movie would we watch?"

"I don't know..." Ralph goes silent, trying to think. Piggy looks up at the ceiling, also thinking of something.

"What about... an older movie? Like Stand by Me or Edward Scissorhands?"

"Edward Scissorhands is scary!"

"Piggy, you're just sensitive."

"I am not!"

"Shut up! You'll wake the others!"

"Sorry." Piggy fixes his glasses.

"Anyways, what movie should we watch."

"Well, I think we should watch Bill and Ted."

"Nah. That movie was good, but like, I don't wanna watch it."

"You guys should watch The Goonies." Someone from behind Piggy suggests. Piggy turns around, looking at Simon.

"Simon? How long have you been awake?"

"Five minutes."

"You've seen The Goonies? But isn't that a scary movie?"

"It's not scary, it's adventure, comedy and family."

"Yeah, Ralph, he's right."

"Shut up, Piggy. I thought of the wrong movie." Ralph laughs.

"What're you guys talking about?" Someone asks.

"Yeah, what's going on?" Someone with a similar voice asks, and that's when Ralph realizes who it is.

"Samneric, we're talking about old movies to watch, and Simon suggested The Goonies."

"But there are girls, and-" Eric starts,

"-I don't wanna watch a movie-" Sam continues,

"-with girls!" They finish at the same time.

"It's a good movie, I swear. There are boys, too, you know."

"Fine. We'll watch it in like, thirty minutes. We still need popcorn, and to get ready, and everyone needs to be awake." Ralph leaves right after, going to tell his Mum they would be watching a movie and were making popcorn and stuff.

Once Ralph gets back, he sends people off to do stuff to prepare for the movie. He stays in his room to start the movie, while Piggy starts making popcorn, Simon puts the bowls of popcorn on everyone's makeshift bed, Samneric bring up blankets, pillows and chairs to make a fort.

"I found the movie, Simon."

"Awesome. Samneric are making a fort we're all gonna sit in, and we'll watch The Goonies in there. But here's your popcorn." Ralph takes the popcorn from Simon's hands, and the popcorn almost falls out because Ralph tries to grab it with one hand.

Ralph shakes Jack's shoulder. "Hey, Jackie, wake up."

"Leave me 'lone." Jack pushes his hand away.

"I'll let you annoy Roger until he wakes up."

Jack rubs his eyes, sitting up.

"You mean you'll actually let me?"

"Yeah."

"Finally! Thank you, Ralph!"

Jack hugs Ralph quickly before he pokes Roger, telling him to wake up in the quietest voice possible. Roger smacks his hand.

"Fuck off."

"Get up."

"Fuck you."

"We're watching a movie."

"Leave me alone."

"We have popcorn."

"I don't care."

"There's candy."

Roger sits up, groaning. "I hate you all."

"Yep, we all-" Sam starts.

"-appreciate you too." Eric ends.

"We're making a fort!" Piggy says, walking in with Simon.

"I heard fort, now I'm awake." Maurice sits up, blinking quickly with his hand on his forehead. Everyone laughs, and Maurice smiles.

"I'm not making a fort with you." Jack complains.

"Jack, you're making a fort with everyone."

Jack crosses his arms with a pout, turning to Ralph. "I don't wanna make a fort with Piggy."

"I'll let you work with me."

"Guess we're making a fort, then." Samneric start laughing, and Piggy rolls his eyes.

"Okay, so, we need a chair here... a chair here... and a chair there." Simon points to each spot, waiting until somebody puts the chairs down. "The biggest blankets will be draped over the chairs, and we'll hold it up with a broom or something. The smaller blankets are going on the ground, with the extra pillows."

"We got extra pillows and blankets-"

"-because it needs to be extra comfy!"

"And we need to make sure the popcorn won't be spilled because nobody wants to clean up popcorn. It's annoying." Piggy says, adjusting his glasses.

"Are you guys gonna simp for the girls?" Maurice teases.

"You're gay what-"

"You're both gay-"

"No that's gross!" Eric cuts them both off.

"Girls are weird!" Sam adds on.

"Glad I'm not a girl anymore." Simon jokes, laughing. The others start to laugh along, until Piggy starts coughing.

"Are you okay?" Ralph asks.

"Yeah, I just choked." They start to laugh again.

"Are we not watching the movie?" Roger asks.

"Oh shit, you're right. Thanks, Rog."

"Simon, is the fort done? I'm tired."

"Yes, Maurice, the fort is done." Maurice immediately jumps onto the big pile of pillows, and groans after rolling onto the ground.

"He jumped on his stomach, didn't he?" Roger asks.

"Yep." Samneric says in sync.

"That dumbass."

"Shut up, Roger." Maurice says, his voice muffled by the blankets.

"We still have a movie to watch." Piggy reminds the group.

"Alright, everyone find a spot."

"I want right here."

"I'm next to Ralph!"

"We know."

"Shut up Roger."

"I'm sitting with Simon and Roger."

Simon shrugs. "I'll sit with Roger and Maurice."

"What about Piggy?" Ralph asks.

"He can sit with Samneric. Or by himself. Either works."

"I'm not sitting alone!" Piggy whines.

"Then sit with Samneric! Did you not listen to me?"

"No, why would I listen to you?"

"Because I'm your best friend's boyfriend."

"Just because you're his boyfriend doesn't mean I have to listen to you."

"Can we just watch the movie?" Ralph asks.

"Yes, Ralph, we can watch the movie."

"Simon, turn it on please."

"This is your TV though."

"I can't find the movie, Maurice."

"Hah, loser." Jack glares at him. "I'm joking, I'm joking!"

"Ralph, it's right here. You skipped over it twice."

"Whoops. Well we found it, so movie!"


By the end of the movie, only Ralph, Simon, Maurice and Roger had stayed awake.

Piggy had gotten tired of the movie and went to sleep at the best part of the movie.

Jack had fallen asleep near the end, sitting on Ralph's lap with his head on his shoulder.

Samneric got bored and were on their phones and fell asleep while their phones play the same video over and over again.

"Hey, Ralph, what'd you think of the movie?" Simon asks, turning around to look at him.

Ralph gives him a thumbs up, not willing to talk.

Eventually, Roger fell asleep with his head laying on Maurice's chest.

Simon had taken care of everyone's popcorn bowls, gave everyone a blanket, and turned off Samneric's phones and plugged them in beside everyone else's.

"Ralph, go to bed, I can take of everyone's things. And Jack is still sleeping."

"But I can't let you do everything yourself-"

"Just go to bed, Ralph. Don't worry, I'm almost finished putting everything away."

"Fine, but please go to sleep after. You've barely gotten any, and it's like 12am."

"I will, I promise."

Simon had finished cleaning up after everyone about five minutes later, and had turned on some quiet music to keep the others asleep. He made sure everyone was okay (without waking them up) and had went to bed.


The next morning, Ralph's mother had come in to wake them up, but had saw how Piggy was still asleep, how tired Simon looked, how Samneric were finally getting sleep together instead of one getting sleep and the other staying awake, and how everything seemed peaceful in Ralph's room, especially with the soft music coming from the TV, so she quietly closed the door and left.

Piggy was first to get up, and had left Ralph's room to say good morning to Ralph's mother and make himself breakfast, which was a bowl of cereal.

Simon was up next, and had left to look for Piggy, and found him sitting at the table eating his cereal.

"Hi Simon."

"Hi!" Simon smiled at him. "Do you want me to sit with you?"

"If you want to."

Simon sat down in the chair across from him, and they had got on the topic of school, even though both boys were caught up with their work.

Samneric had woken up, grabbed their phones, and walked out in sync, sitting at the table.

Roger had woken up, and had poked Maurice until he woke up, and then they left the room to ask for breakfast, and found Simon and Piggy.

"Hey, Simon and Piggy, and Samneric, what's going on?" Maurice says, sliding into the chair beside them, dragging out the 'y' in 'hey'. Roger sits down on his lap and throws his arm around the back of the chair.

"Hi Maurice and Roger."

"Hi!" Simon smiles at them. "Are Jack and Ralph up?"

"Nope. Still cuddling."

"Oh, okay."

Suddenly, Ralph comes running through the hallway, Jack stumbling behind him.

"We're here."

Roger stares in confusion, Maurice is dying of laughter, Piggy has his head resting in his hands, and Simon giggles at them.

"So, what do you guys want for breakfast?" Ralph's Mum asks, walking in the kitchen.

"Pancakes! With the chocolate chips inside!" Jack nods, seeming to be way too tired to put up with any of this.

"Yeah, pancakes!" Maurice agrees.

"I like waffles." Sam says.

"Me too, but-" Eric starts,

"-pancakes are fine." They finish in sync.

"Roger? Piggy? Simon?"

"I'll have pancakes." Roger says.

"Pancakes, please!" Simon says, with his usual smile.

"I already ate."

"C'mon, Piggy, just have some waffles or pancakes or something. You know you want some."

"I do. Pancakes it is." The others cheer, while Jack rubs at his eyes, obviously too tired to put up with his friends.

"Ralphy, I'm tired." Jack whines.

"I know, but you need to eat."

"Later. I wanna go back to sleep."

"How about... you eat and then go back to sleep?"

"If I get to go back to sleep, I don't care what I have to do."

Ralph had sat down, and Jack was sitting on his lap with his head on Ralph's shoulder.

"This reminds me of last night." Piggy whispers to Simon.

"Yeah, except it's morning and sunny and not night and raining."

"How many pancakes am I making?"

"I only want one." Piggy says first.

"Two. One for me and one for Jack."

"I want two." Roger says, leaning his head back onto Maurice's shoulder.

"I'll have two as well."

"We would like two, one for each!" The twins look back down at their phones.

"Only one, please!" Simon smiles at her again.

"Alright, 12 it is."

"But we only-" Piggy starts, but Ralph quickly cuts him off.

"Shh, she's making extra just in case."

"Oh, okay."

Maybe thirty minutes go by, with Maurice making stupid jokes that are so bad they're actually funny, Roger being disappointed in his boyfriend, Jack falling asleep again, Simon talking about his pet chameleon, which he named Dylan, and Piggy wondering why he agreed to even be here.

"The pancakes are ready!" Ralph's Mum called to the boys, and Simon was first to get up, and had told everyone he'd be back soon and left the room.

"He's gonna have..." Maurice starts to count everyone, keeping track with his fingers, "...eight plates to carry? Shouldn't someone help him?"

"He wants to feel good because he carried everyone's plate in." Roger says.

"Don't worry, he does this all the time." Ralph adds.

"I'm back." Simon comes in, carrying everyone's plates with ease. They were lined up on his arms and were held in place by the other plates. He sets them on the table, and quickly passes them out to everyone.

"Thanks, Simon. Hopefully this dumbass will actually eat breakfast for once." Ralph says, nodding at Jack, who was still asleep. Simon nods in agreement, and slides the last plate into his spot, and he sits down.

Ralph had gotten Jack to wake up and eat, and Maurice had continued to make his usual so-unfunny-that-they-actually-are-funny jokes.

"Ralph, I'm tired." Jack whines. "I wanna go back to sleep."

"Then go back to sleep."

"But you won't let me."

"I am now."

"Thank you." Jack kisses his cheek and wraps his arms around his neck. Ralph rolls his eyes, knowing he's gonna have to carry him back to his room.

"I'll take care of this stuff. You all can go back to Ralph's room." Ralph's mother says, walking back into the dining room.

"Thanks, Mum."

Once they were back in Ralph's room, Samneric had decided to play a compilation of cursed TikToks. One of them was insanely loud, which made everyone jump from the random loud audio, but it also woke Jack up.

"Why can't I just sleep without having to wake up for something stupid?"

"Go back to sleep, Jackie."

"Thank you, Ralph!"

"How about we turn off the cursed TikToks and watch something else?"

"Let's watch another movie!" The twins say, dropping their phones.

"I'm willing to, how about everyone else?" Simon asks, looking at the group.

Maurice shrugs, and Roger always agrees with Maurice. Piggy nods, and Ralph is too busy trying to get Jack to stop whining about wanting to sleep.

"Well, majority wants a movie, so which one?"

"The Purge!"

"Scream!"

"Eli!"

"Why are they all scary movies? I hate scary movies!" Piggy complains.

"What about The Danish Girl?"

"The Danish Girl?"

"It's about a trans girl and it's sad."

"It's sad!" Eric cheers.

"Let's watch it!" Sam says in the same cheery voice.

"Jack, do you wanna watch a sad movie?"

"Yes."

"Okay, get up then."

"Do I get popcorn?"

Ralph sighs. "Yes."

"I'm up."

"Ralph, do you have Netflix? I can't find the movie anywhere else."

"Yeah, gimme the remote." Simon gives him the remote, and he opens Netflix and asks, "what movie are we watching?"

"It's called The Danish Girl." Ralph starts to search for it, and finds it after putting "dani" in the search.

"The one with the boy holding the dress?"

"Yeah, that one!" Simon smiles.

"Alright, I'll ask my mum to make popcorn for us. I'll be right back." Ralph leaves his room, and Simon starts the movie.

Once Ralph comes back in his room, the movie has just started.

"Did she say yes?" Jack asks.

"Yep." They all cheer.

When Ralph's Mum walked in with bowls of popcorn, they all grabbed the first bowl they saw.

"Wait, what's going on? Play it back, Simon."


When the movie ended, Piggy was so confused that he wasn't crying at the end, but everyone else was. Even Roger was, which was shocking.

"Did she-" Maurice gets cut off by Simon nodding.

"Lily didn't deserve that!" Ralph said, wiping his eyes.

"Piggy looks so confused!" Roger says, laughing.

"What just happened?"

"Who cares? You weren't paying attention, so it wouldn't make any sense."

"Well I wanna know why everyone is crying!"

"Because something emotional happened!" Jack says, looking up at Piggy.

"I'm going outside, I'm too confused for this." Piggy leaves Ralph's room, and the other start to laugh.

Once everyone had calmed down, they also left his room, trying to find Piggy. It wasn't hard though, because they found him outside on his phone.

"Boo!" Samneric jump in front of him, and he screams, almost dropping his phone. The other boys start to laugh.

"That isn't funny! I could've broken my phone!"

"Loosen up, Piggy! Just messing around."

"Ralph, go off on your boyfriend and tell him it isn't funny!"

"I'm not going off on him."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because... why?"

Ralph stutters, before shaking his head. "No reason."

"Ralph! Would you just-"

"I can't, Piggy."

"Why?"

Ralph takes a deep breath before he starts to talk again, way too fast for anyone to understand.

"What?"

"Nothing! You didn't hear it, and I'm not saying it again."

"Oh, I heard it." Ralph rolled his eyes.

"That's because you've gotten used to me talking fast."

"Do you guys wanna know what he said?" Jack asks, completely ignoring Ralph. They all started yelling at the same time, but everyone knew they were all saying yes.

"Well, he said that he can't go off on me because I would-"

"Alright, that's enough." Everyone groans.

"We wanna hear the rest of the story!" Maurice said, everyone quickly agreeing.

"Jack, please, don't."

"But they wanna know."

"But I don't want them to know."

"Jackie, please?"

"...fine." Ralph hugged him quickly, knowing for a fact that Jack wasn't gonna stay mad at him for longer than five minutes. Everyone else groaned again and walked inside. Piggy soon followed the group, leaving Jack and Ralph outside.

"Why don't you want me to tell them?"

"Because I don't want them to know I'm THAT big of a simp." Jack rolled his eyes with a smile.

"I would be surprised if they didn't know that we're both simps."

Notes:

idk i got carried away and i kinda like how it ended idk lmao

Chapter 16: Choir Cape (book!jalph)

Notes:

also this is just ✨ f l u f f ✨ bc i cant write angst :sob:

theres a mention of rogice

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"It's so cold here! Isn't it annoying?" Ralph turns around, and sees that nobody was listening to him complain. Not even Simon or Piggy was listening. Piggy was sleeping in one of the shelters and Simon was talking to Maurice and Roger on another part of the beach.

He sighs, and lays on his back, staring at the stars. A few minutes pass by before someone lays beside him.

"Hi, Jack."

"Hi."

They sit in silence before its broken by Jack asking, "are you cold?"

"What? No, why?"

"You look cold."

"No I don't! What are you talking about?"

"You're shivering."

"I'm not cold."

"Oh really? Because only a few minutes ago I heard you whining about how cold it is." Ralph goes red, turning away from the boy beside him.

"Shut up."

Jack rolls his eyes, and sits up.

"No judgement. Are you cold?" Ralph was just about to look back at him when he asks, and he goes red again.

Ralph is silent until he nods, barely visible. Jack thinks over what he could do before remembering he has the choir cape on.

"Ralph... Ralph, come here." Jack waits for Ralph to sit up before pulling him into his arms and wrapping the cape around him.

Immediately Ralph feels much more comfortable than he was less than a minute ago. He leans back into Jack's chest, his head resting on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Jack." Jack's silent, but he nods.

"I don't mind." He finally replies.

The two boys sit together until Ralph turns around, facing Jack.

"Ralph? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing. You just look really..." Ralph trails off, trying to get the words to come out.

"What?"

"The moonlight. It makes you look really... really... really pretty." Jack goes red, looking down with a smile.

"I think you look much prettier than I do." Ralph smiles and shakes his head. His hair falls into his eyes, and Jack pushes it out of the way.

"No way."

"Well, I think differently, and I think you look adorable." Jack tilts Ralph's chin up so he's looking up at him, and Ralph blushes. He stutters, and Jack laughs. He turns around, leaning back again.

"Jack, my hands are cold."

"You wanna hold my hand?" Ralph nods. Jack takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.

They sit there, holding hands in silence until Ralph turns around and says, "y'know, my lips are pretty cold, too."

Jack smiles, shaking his head. "Just ask next time."

/\/\/\

The next morning they found themselves against a tree. Ralph sits between Jack's legs, his head resting on his shoulder, and Jack's arms are around his waist.

Ralph looks up at Jack with a small smile.

"Hi, Ralph."

"Hi."

Both of them don't really remember what happened, but Ralph did remember being pinned against the tree, making out with Jack.

"I don't feel like working today."

"Then don't."

"Well, I'm chief, and I have to make sure everyone's following orders."

"Well, I'm chief's boyfriend, and he should listen to me."

Ralph rolls his eyes, burying his head in the choir cape, which was still wrapped around him.

"I can't just... not give orders, Jack."

"I never said you couldn't give orders, I said you shouldn't work. Giving orders and working isn't the same thing."

"Yes they are."

"No. You basically give orders and then stay with me all day, instead of give orders and then go do some other stuff, like work." Ralph smiles, looking up at Jack.

"I at least have to make sure people aren't messing around."

"Just put Simon in charge. He's nice to everyone. And then you can stay with me." Ralph shakes his head with a smile.

"Fine. You're lucky I like you." Jack smiles, pulling the boy closer to him. Ralph giggles, wrapping his arms around his neck.

Jack starts to mess with Ralph's hair, and as much as they both know he hates it, he stays silent.

"Aren't you gonna stop me?" Ralph shakes his head. "You're not stopping me because I get to do what I want, right Ralph?" Ralph shrugs.

"Usually."

"No, not usually. You always let me do what I want because you like me too much." Ralph nods.

"How is Simon supposed to know he's in charge again?" Ralph asks.

"I don't know."

"I should go-"

"No," Jack pulls him even closer, "just wait. He's gonna realize, and maybe Piggy will try to take charge."

"Piggy couldn't take charge if he tried. Nobody listens to him!"

"They listen to him if you say to listen. If you don't, nobody cares."

"Exactly! And it's so annoying." Ralph sighs. "Being chief sucks."

"Even if it does suck, I think you're a great chief."

"You think Piggy's looking for me?" Ralph asks after a few minutes of silence.

"Probably. But who cares? He's gonna live."

"But he won't stop until he finds me."

"Well, if he wants to find you so badly, I guess I'll just be there, too."

"Found him." Ralph nods to the boy walking out of the forest.

"Pretend we're still asleep, let's see what he says." Ralph covers his mouth, trying not to laugh.

He wraps his arms around Jack's chest, laying his head on his shoulder. Jack looks over at Piggy, who hasn't noticed yet, but once he does notice Ralph, he's walking over to them as fast as possible. Jack's eyes close, and the two boys act as if they were still sleeping.

"Ralph, Roger and Maurice almost k-" Piggy cuts himself off, staring at the two boys. He can't tell who the other person is, but he knows its Ralph because that's his best friend's hair color, and nobody else as the same color hair. Ralph is about to sit up, asking what happened before remembering what he was supposed to be doing.

"What the-" Ralph almost starts laughing at the sound of Piggy's voice. He sounded confused and scared.

"Ralph, get up, someone's hurt." Ralph pretends to wake up, rubbing his eyes.

"What?"

"Somebody got hurt. I think it's one of the choir boys. Robert, was it? Maybe Henry."

"Alright, I'll be right there."

"No, we need you there now!"

"Let me wake him up and we'll be right there."

"Wake who up?"

"No one, just lemme wake him up and we'll be right there."

"Why can't I wait, and why is he so important?"

"Because he's important to me, Piggy. And you have asthma, so go and get a head start."

"Fine." As Piggy starts to walk away, Ralph looks back at Jack, who's glaring daggers at Piggy.

"He's so annoying."

"Doesn't mean it's not helpful."

"Didn't say it wasn't."

"Didn't say you said it wasn't."

"What was he gonna say about Roger and Maurice?" Ralph shrugs.

"Well, let's go. Piggy's probably almost there."

"We don't even know where we're going."

"It's in the forest. I watched him walk in."

"Alright, well we don't know where the other boys are."

"We'll find them." Ralph holds his hand out, and Jack takes it. They walk into the forest together.

"Oh, Ralph, you've made it!" Piggy doesn't notice the boys holding hands, or how Jack puts his arm around Ralph's waist.

"It was Bill that was hurt! Roger and Maurice, they tripped him on accident and then once they looked at each other they were so close you'd think they were-"

"Wait, am I hear because Bill got hurt or because Roger and Maurice were close to each other and it looked like they were gonna kiss?"

"Because of Bill! I'm just trying to give you details on what happened but you cut me off!"

"Alright, keep going then."

"Well Roger and Maurice were so close you'd think they were, gonna, you know."

"Kiss. Now get on with it, I don't have all day."

"Yeah, that. And then they almost did before I walked off to get you."

"So, what actually happened between the boys? Or do you not know?" Piggy shakes his head, showing that he doesn't know at all.

"Well, where's Bill?"

"He was taken to the huts. The others said I should bring you here instead of over there."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know! They kept telling me to bring you here, and then once I got back they all ran, giggling."

Piggy watches Jack whisper something in Ralph's ear, making him blush. Piggy leans down, grabbing a stick and breaking it into pieces.

"Hey, Piggy, do you mind showing me where Bill is?"

"No, of course not!" Piggy starts to walk away, and the other two follow.

"Where's Maurice and Roger?"

"I don't know. I think they're somewhere in the woods." Ralph looks over at Jack, who's got the same expression on his face. "Anyways, he's in there. I don't think it's too bad, maybe just sprained his ankle."

"Hey, Bill, what happened?" Jack asks.

"Maurice and Roger tripped me, and then they..." He trails off.

"What? They did what?"

"They did what the couples back in England did. They walked away, holding hands, as if it never happened." Ralph looks down, processing everything.

"Do you know where they are?"

"Forest."

"Thanks, Bill. Get better."

Notes:

idk how i feel about this but whatever lmao

Chapter 17: Pirate Ship (mikeyxmouth)

Notes:

idk its at the end when they get out and i wanted to change it bc stef and mouth hate each other and i want to ✨ keep it that way ✨ and mouth thanked mikey instead of stef

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The Goonies, a group of five boys and two girls, all run out of the cave, and watch the rocks slowly tumble out of their position and into the water below. They're only walking, yelling for help, until two bikers, driving near the shore, see them. They all start waving their arms, yelling even louder.

Eventually the police show up with everyone's parents, all of them running out, desperate to see their kids again.

"Mikey!" Mikey's father yells.

"Oh, Mikey, baby. Brand!" His mother comes up, running right behind her husband.

"Hi, mom. Hi, dad." Mikey says calmly, but with a hint of sadness in his voice, which sets off so many alarms in his mom and dad. "I guess we're kind of in deep sh-"

"Oh, Michael!" His mother pulls him into a hug, and he falls off the rock he's standing on and into his mother's loving hug.

"Clark! Clark!" Mouth's dad yells to him, and he looks up at him.

"Look at you, you're a mess." Rosalita pulls of his hat, and his mom ruffles his hair.

"Okay, it's okay."

"Daddy!" Mouth hugs his father, and his mother grabs his arm, asking every question that comes out of her mouth.

"Look what we brought you!" Chunk's dad points to the pizza box.

"Oh, pizza!"

"Your favorite. Here." Chunk's mother opens the box.

"Oh, my favorite!"

"Almost everything's on it."

"We were under the ground! In the tunnels and everything-" Mouth goes on until his dad interrupts him.

"Well it's good to hear your voice."

"And it was so neat!"

"I lost my glasses." Stef says, pointing to her eyes where her glasses should be.

"Oh, that's okay." Her dad says.

"Can I take piano lessons?" Andy asks.

"Yes." Her mother nods.

"You'll get ammonia!"

"It's pneumonia."

"Hold it right there." Data's dad backs up and opens his jacket to show a camera attached to a belt.

"That's great, dad!"

"Just watch this." Andy giggles.

Data's father attempts to take a picture, but once he does, all the film falls out.

"Come here, daddy."

Andy laughs. "He's just like his father!"

"That's okay daddy, you can't hug a photograph." Data says in a different language.

"You're my best invention." His dad says in the same language.

"I just wanted to, uh, say thank you for- for offering to save my life and everything, it was cool." Mouth says, way too fast for Mikey to understand. Mouth pulls his hat off as Mikey gives him a confused look.

"What?"

"Well, I wanted to say thank you."

"Wow, 'thank you.' A real moment. You know, your voice is kinda nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up."

"Yeah, well, thanks. And you know, your looks are kinda pretty..." Mikey looks down, ready to hear one of the stupidest comebacks ever. "...when your face doesn't screw it up. I'm just kidding." He laughs, pulling Mouth into a hug.

"Hey, Mikey." Andy says from beside them. They both turn to look at her. "Hey." Mikey turns to face her fully, showing her that he was listening. "You know, you're a great little kid- uh, person. And you know, you keep kissing people the way you do, the parts of you don't work so good, they're gonna catch up to the ones that do." She pats his shoulder and walks away from the two boys, and starts kissing Brand.

"Ew, gross."

"Wha-" Mikey's dad starts before being cut off by his wife.

"Let her mother worry."

Mikey pulls out his inhaler, but tosses it over his shoulder, muttering "oh, who needs it?"

"It's the Fratellis!"

"Police!" Everyone turns to see the Fratellis and another person helping the mother of them, but the kids recognized Sloth immediately.

"Thank God you're here, officer, we need your help!"

"Fratellis! Alright, you're all under arrest. Come on, let's go." The officer holds his gun while the four walk up to them.

"Hey! Don't shoot him!" Chunk yells, running in front of Sloth and holding up the pizza box..

"Look out, kid. You don't know what you're doing."

"No! No!" Data yells, running beside Chunk. Soon, Stef follows, and Mikey and Mouth are pushed beside the three Fratellis.

"Get out! Get 'em outta here!"

"You can't do that!" Data yells. "You don't know what you're doing!"

"These are the bad guys!" Chunk points to the Fratellis. "Those are the bad guys!" Now Brand and Andy are there, too, standing in front of them.

Sloth picks up the officer by his shirt collar.

"Sloth, put him down. It'll be alright, Sloth."

"Come on, mama." Jake Fratelli says, pushing his mother into their arms.

"You have no idea who I am! You wanna lose your job?" Francis Fratelli yells, pointing at the officer as he gets pushed up by Jake as well. Jake cooperates with the officers, though.

"Sloth." Sloth looks down at Chunk. "You're gonna live with me now."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna take care of ya. 'Cause I love ya."

Sloth hugs him. "I love you, Chunk."

"Oh, I love you, Sloth."

"Alright, Walsh, today's the day, so let's get this over with."

"Irving?"

"I'm sorry, Irene."

"Come on, Walsh, we don't have all day! There's fifty more houses to tear down after yours!" Troy says in a mocking tone.

"Ease off, Brand!"

"You punk!" Brand yells.

"It's okay, Brand."

"It's okay." Once Brand isn't struggling to punch Troy, Mouth takes up the space beside Mikey.

"Sheriff, I want you to witness this."

"Sorry, dad. We had our hands on the future. But we blew it to save our own lives. Sorry."

"That's alright. You and Brand are home safe with your mom and me. That makes us the richest people in Astoria." His dad kisses her cheek, and she smiles slightly.

"Walsh, you're looking at the richest people in Astoria. Now sign it." He turns, letting Irving sign the paper on his shoulder.

"I'm sure gonna miss being a Goonie." Data says, patting Mikey's shoulder.

Irving hesitates, but only signs halfway through when Rosalita quietly gasps, then starts to say something in Spanish. The kids all turn to look at her, and immediately Brand pushes Mouth forward.

"What's she saying, Mouth?"

"No... no pen."

"No pen?"

"No write..." Mouth waits until Rosalita starts talking again. "No sign. No sign!"

They all start yelling no sign, and Mouth rips the paper away, takes the pen and makes a line down the man's jacket. Rosalita runs up, holding Mikey's marble bag that's now filled with diamonds.

"What's in the bag?" The diamonds all come out of the bag and fall into Irene's hands. They all turn, leaning in to look at the diamonds. They sparkle in the sunlight, and Mikey turns to look at his dad.

"Dad! Dad, it's my marble bag! The Fratellis forgot to check it! I emptied out the marbles and I put the jewels in! We don't have to leave the Goon Docks." As soon as the words 'Goon Docks' leave Mikey's mouth, his dad is ripping the papers into shreds.

"Ah, there'll be no more signing... today, or ever again!" He throws the shreds of paper in the air and everyone cheers.

"Are those jewels real? How'd you kids find them?" One reporter asks.

"What happened out there? Were your lives in danger?"

"The octopus was very scary." Data recalls.

"Octopus?"

"Yeah. It was very dangerous."

"The scariest thing was walking the plank." Andy says.

"Walking the plank?" The first reporter says in a confused yet unbelieving tone.

"Yeah, then we found the pirate ship." Brand chimes in.

"Yeah and see that had pirate's treasure on it. We're getting chased by the Fratellis-" Chunk starts before being cut off.

"Alright, alright fellas. Telling more stories, Lawrence?"

"Oh, no, this time it's for real!"

"Yeah!"

"How do you think we got the jewels?"

"Holy Mary, Mother of God!" They all turn around as he says, "look at that."

"Oh my God!"

The boat is out in the open sea, freely riding the waves out to the middle of the ocean.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we're at Cauldron Point, and what appears to be a pirate ship..." The reporter trails off in shock.

The Goonies and Sloth sit on a rock together, with Stef, Andy, Brand and Sloth behind Data, Chunk, Mouth and Mikey. Mikey wraps the other end of the jacket over Mouth's shoulders, and he grabs the end so Mikey doesn't have to hold it for him.

Mikey kisses the tips of his fingers and waves to the boat. "Bye, Willy. Thanks."

Sloth starts to yell, waving his arms around, still holding the blanket. Chunk follows, and so does everyone else barely a second later.

Notes:

idk if i like this but im gonna post it ✨ a n y w a y s ✨

Chapter 18: The Attic (mikeyxmouth)

Notes:

theyre already dating bc i said so

kinda changed up the one scene with the papers yk

also the way they talk is so amusing to me-

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Brand grabs back of Mikey's jean jacket and shoves him back.

"Adopted wuss."

"'Adopted wuss'? I'm no adopted wuss! I'll kill you, Brand!" The knocking at the door gets even louder, and Mikey runs down the stairs to open it.

The two boys see Mouth at the door, brushing his hair, like he usually does.

"Ah, it's Mouth." Brand walks away, throwing his hand up. Mikey unlocks the door, and Mouth pushes the door in.

"Hey, Mikey." Mouth says in a stupid voice as Mikey goes to sit on the couch.

"Yo, Mikey." He says in a different voice. "Hey, Mikey, seen Adrienne?" Again, he gets no response.

Mikey lays on the couch, one of his legs hanging off the arm rest. He opens up a comic he took from his room, obviously not interested.

"Hey, guys, what's going down?" He asks in his normal voice, putting his foot on the table and eating one of the chips from the bowl.

"Get your foot off the table, Mouth."

"You got it. What's going down, guys?" Mikey throws the comic book onto the table beside the couch, almost missing. "Hey, what's the matter with you guys?" They ignore him still.

"Come on, what's the matter? What is this, a nuclear Saturday or something? Come on, guys. This is our last weekend together! Last Goonie weekend. We gotta be going out in style. Cruising the coast, sniffing some lace. Downing the brews, but no! The one older brother had to go and screw it up!" Brand goes to hit Mouth in the face, but he ducks out of the way. Mikey looks up, worried.

"Flunking your driver's test? I don't know what to do with you, kid." He ruffles his hair like he was an adult talking to a child, even though he's much younger than Brand.

"Hey, you guys, you gotta let me in!" Chunk yells from outside.

"Jerk alert." Mouth says, and Mikey looks up again, throwing a different comic book to the other side of the couch.

"I'm not lying!"

"It's Chunk." Mouth says, crossing his arms.

"I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life!"

"First you gotta do the Truffle Shuffle."

"Come on!" Chunk complains.

"Do it."

"Come on!" Chunk complains in the same voice.

"Do it!" Chunk groans, standing on the tree trunk with a flower pot. He pulls his shirt up and starts to shake.

Mouth starts to laugh and Mikey, finally interested in what's going on, get's up from his spot on the couch.

"Cut it out, Mouth." Mouth ignores him, still laughing at Chunk.

"Get out." Mikey moves him out of the way and pulls a string hanging in the front door. A bucket is pulled up and a bowling ball rolls down the post.

Chunk gets down from the tree trunk, standing in front of the gate door.

Mikey and Mouth follow the bowling ball as it lands in another bucket with a loud thud. As the bucket goes down, a balloon starts to blow up until it pops, and scares the chicken. The chicken lays an egg, and it hits a wooden pole with a shoe attached. The shoe kicks a football onto a target, which flies back and turns the sprinkler on. As the sprinkler turns, it pulls a string, which unlocks the gate door.

Chunk pushes the door open and runs through the gate. "Oh, guys, thanks. Thanks a lot. You guys, you're not gonna believe me." Mouth closes the door in Chunk's face, and walks away as if it never happened. "This time I'm telling the truth- you turd!"

"Flunked your driver's test." Mouth says, like a reminder.

"Shut up, Mouth."

"Listen, okay, you guys will never believe me." Mouth gets down on one of his knees, looking into Mikey's fish tank. "There was two cop cars, okay?" Mikey soon follows Mouth, holding fish flakes. "And they were chasing this four-wheel deal with this real neat ORV. And there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw."

"More amazing than the time Michael Jackson came over to your house to use the bathroom?" Mikey asks, immediately turning back to the fish tank to feed the fishes.

"More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire?" Brand asks, turning to look at Chunk.

"Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight at Godfather's Pizza, right?"

"Okay, Brand, Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house, to use the bathroom... but his sister did!"

The sound of the James Bond theme song and then the squeaking of Data's invention, Wings of Flight, makes Mikey and Mouth stand up at the same time, looking out the window.

"Uh oh! Screen door!"

"Mikey!" Data yells to him.

"The screen door!" Mikey yells again.

Data runs into Mikey, who falls into Mouth, and he falls into the chair Brand was sitting in, and he knocks Chunk over, who tries to grab onto something to stop himself, but knocks over the statue on the table instead.

Chunk sits up, holding the statue. "Hey! I bet you guys thought I was gonna drop it, huh? Ha-ha, I know you would think that from good old Chunk." He puts the statue back on the table, only for it to not be on properly and slip off and fall onto the ground once he finishes his sentence.

"You idiot!" Brand yells.

"Oh my God!" Mikey runs up to him, laying over the table, and almost slipping off, to grab it. He has his inhaler in his mouth already as he holds the statue.

"Look, it's not broken! It's perfect, ha-ha! It's perf-"

Mikey's inhaler falls out of his mouth. "Oh my god!"

"What?"

"That's my mom's most favorite piece!"

"What?" Chunk asks again. "Oh my God!" Chunk realizes as Mikey tries to put the piece back.

"You wouldn't be here if it wasn't." Mouth says, tipping his brush like it was a drink.

"Shut up, Mouth!" Mikey says, only turning to look at him for a second before focusing on the statue again.

"Shut up, Mouth." Brand smacks him on the back of the head.

"Hey, any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?"

"No."

"Certainly! It's where Motown started." Mouth says in another one of his impression voices. "Also got the highest murder rate in the country." He says in his normal voice.

"Well, let me tell you what. That's where we move in when we lose our house tomorrow."

"You shut up about that stuff, it'll never happen. My dad'll fix it."

"Yeah, sure he will. If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tomorrow afternoon."

"That's wrong, Brand! It won't happen!" Right as he finishes his sentence, Irene, his mother, and another woman walk in, looking at the broken screen door. They all look over, and Mikey and Chunk hide the statue behind them.

"Oh- hi, mom!"

"Hi, mom."

Mikey takes a quick puff of his inhaler before throwing it behind him and onto the floor.

"Hi, hi, hi." Chunk says, obviously very nervous.

"I see Data dropped by."

"Hi, Mrs. Walsh, how are you?" Data says, louder than usual.

"Hi, Mrs. Walsh." Mouth says, almost too polite to sound like him.

"Boys, this is Rosalita. Rosalita's gonna help us with the packing just until my arm is better."

"Olay." Chunk says, trying to say 'hello' in Spanish.

"Hola." Mouth says correctly with a smile and wave.

"Uhm, boys, Rosalita doesn't speak a word of English, and I know some of you have taken some Spanish is school."

"Well, Mrs. Walsh, I speak perfect Spanish. And, if it's any help to you I'd be glad to communicate with Rosalita."

"You're a lifesaver, Clark. Come with us, will you?"

"Oh, certainly, Mrs. Walsh."

"Mikey, no more potato chips, I've told you. Pull over, Mikey, honey."

"It's Brand, ma."

Once the three leave, the two immediately spin around, pulling the statue closer.

Chunk says something that nobody except him understands.

"What?"

"Do you think your mom is gonna notice? Notice-" Chunk starts saying things nobody understands again.

"I wonder if she'll notice." Mikey puts his hand in his hair.

"That's what I said!" Chunk says, pointing at himself to help him understand.

"Of course she'll notice! She notices everything!"


"Look, how's that? How's that?"

"Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down!" Data starts laughing, while Mikey starts to panic and Brand starts to get angry.

"You dork!" Mikey takes a puff from his inhaler. "If God meant to do it that way you'd all be pissing in your faces!" Mikey and Data start laughing.

"Looks fine to me." Chunk says, confused.

"You're so fluent in Spanish. That was so nice of you!" Mrs. Walsh says.

"Nice is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh."

"Boys, I'm taking Rosalita to the supermarket. Now listen, I am gonna be back in about an hour. Mikey, I want you kept inside. Brand, if he's coming down with asthma, I don't want him out in the rain."

"He should be put in a plastic bubble." Brand jokes.

She lightly hits his arm. "I'm serious, Brandon. That's not funny. He takes one step outside and you are in deep, absolutely the deepest, d-d-deep-"

"Shit, ma."

She lightly hits his arm again. "I don't like that language, but that's exactly what you're gonna be in. And you, Data, D-Data-"

"Data." Data confirms his nickname as 'day-ta' and not 'dah-ta'.

"Data. Use the back door from now on. Okay?"

"Alright."

"What is that?" She asks, pointing at the table.

"Oh, shit, what?" Chunk asks. Mouth looks up at her.

"What is that?" Mikey puts both his hands in his hair, his eyes almost closed, waiting to be yelled at because of the broken statue.

"That is a mess. I want it cleaned up, boys."

"O-Oh, yeah, sure."

"Y-You got it."

"Sure, yeah."

"One hour, kids, and I'll be back. Bye, baby." She kisses Mikey's cheek. "Rosie?"

"Bye, Mrs. Walsh."

"Bye."

"Bye, mom." Brand says.

"Adios, senorita!" Rosalita turns around, seeming disturbed before saying something in Spanish.

Once Mrs. Walsh takes one step down the stairs, Brand grabs Mikey's jacket and tugs him back. He falls back onto his brother's legs, and Brand's arm is around his neck like a choke hold.

"You want a breathing problem? You got one." He ruffles Mikey's hair with his knuckles.

"Hey guys, what's your dad gonna do with all that stuff in the attic?" Mouth asks.

"He's gonna give it back to the museum, or whoever they picked to be the new assistant curly... or curney..."

"Curator-"

"Wait a minute, guys. Maybe there's some stuff up there for us. Maybe there's some stuff that we can keep from the outsiders."

"Lots of food."

"Maybe there's some rich stuff!" They all talk over each other, and Mikey is shoved off of Brand's lap and into the chair as they all run to get upstairs to the attic.

"No! It's my dad's responsibility, you guys. The museum's probably got a list-" They completely ignore him as they all follow Mouth up the stairs. "You guys, listen to me, damn it! That's his stuff!"

The attic stairs are pulled open, and Brand walks up with a flashlight.

"Gee, look at this. I didn't know dad had all this stuff up here."

"Ah, great! Look at that! Neat-o!" Chunk says, though he's barely seen any of it.

"I love it."

"Hey, come on, guys! This is my dad's place!"

"I like this."

"He doesn't want you up here! You heard what my mom said to the housekeeper about not wanting anybody up here-"

"Mikey," Mouth throws his arm around Mikey's shoulder's, and he looks at his boyfriend, immediately going silent, "I cannot believe that you actually have something this cool in your house." Mikey smiles, shoving him away.

"You guys, my mom said-" Everyone had completely ignored him, so he stopped, until he saw them messing around with the clothes. "Guys, stop! Put down the outfit, okay?"

"Hey, Mikey, this is great. We only have old Hanukkah decorations in our attic."

"I don't care what you have in your-" The sound of thunder makes the boys jump. Mikey pulls out his inhaler, almost dropping it before pushing the container on top and shoving it back in his pocket. "Okay guys, you saw it. Now, let's get outta here. Okay?" Mikey seems to be the only one still scared, because everyone went back to screwing around with everything.

"Come on, Mikey, let's stay."

"I got ya right where I want ya!" Chunk says in a terrible pirate voice.

"Come on, guys, it's dusty in here. My hay fever's acting up and you always break something."

"Mikey!"

"What?" Mikey turns around, annoyed.

"Mikey." Mikey turns, facing the painting. He leans close to the painting, listening to the voice.

"Come here and make me feel like a woman."

"I'm literally g-" He starts before being cut off.

"Come on, give me a nice, wet, lickery kiss." Mouth sticks his tongue through the hole in the painting, specifically on the girl's mouth. Mikey pulls the painting away, and Mouth stumbles forward.

"I gotcha! Now get out from behind there, you're ruining the painting!"

"You're ruining my joke! The painting's already cracked!" Mikey pushes the painted back into place.

"Just kiss me properly and stop whining about your joke!" Mouth pulls him closer from his wrist and connects their lips.

"Hey Mikey! Mikey!"

"What?" Mikey snaps, turning away from Mouth.

"What is all this neat stuff?" Chunk asks.

"The museum did some kind of- where'd you get this?"

"Oh-oh, right there."

"They did this show. It was a retropactum, and it was about-"

Mikey starts before Brand cuts him off, correcting him. "Retrospective."

"That's what I said! You always contradict me. I was right, I knew it. It was about the history of Astoria, and these are the rejects." Mikey pulls the fake sword out of Mouth's hands, dropping it on the ground.

"Kinda like us, Mike. The Goonies."

"Yeah-"

"I'm not a reject." Mikey gives him a doubting look and pulls the pirate hat off Chunk's head.

"Take that stuff off, you're gonna get me in trouble."

"You know, you know how this works?" Data asks Brand.

"What?" Chunk turns around, even though the question wasn't towards him at all. "Laser beams!" Chunk touches the glass ball, and the electricity goes to the palms of his hands but never touches them.

"And you put one finger there-"

"Mouth, when you drop something, put it back up... oh... what's this?" Mikey pulls a dusty painting away from the wall. "Hey, wait a second..." He brushes the dirt off of the painting, only to see a map instead of a painting.

He asks himself how he could get the map out, and remembers how clumsy Chunk is.

"Chunk!"

"I didn't touch it." Mikey watches him back away from the glass.

"I know you didn't touch it. Get over here!"

"Don't touch it!" Data slaps Brand's hand, but Brand says, "okay," and they both go back to touching the glass container.

"Uhm... hold this." Mikey hands him the map.

"Why me, Mike?" Mikey ignores him and starts to count down from five.

"Mike, thanks for taking us up here. There's a real big ball, you know, and it's got this thing-" Chunk tilts the frame sideways and it falls onto the ground. The glass shatters, and everyone looks over yet says nothing. They move the glass off the map, and the others walk over.

"What are you doing?"

"Hey, Mike found a map! And look, look, look. That says 1632. Is that a year or something?" Chunk asks.

"No, it's your top score on Pole Position." Mouth says, walking over with a full pirate outfit on.

"Yes, it's a year, Chunk. Look, Data, it's a map of our coastline."

"What's all that Spanish junk right there?" Brand asks, pointing at part of the map.

"Uhm... Mouth, you said you could translate. Translate, right here."

"Yeah, translate it."

"Ye intruders beware. Crushing death and grief... soaked with blood... of the trespassing thief." Mouth started off with a stupid pirate voice, only for it to fade away as he went on.

"You guys, this map is old news. Everybody and their grandfather went looking for that. When our parents were our age, I mean, I mean... haven't you ever heard of that guy? W-What's his name? The pirate guy. One-Eyed Willy."

"One-Eyed Willy... One-Eyed Willy! Yeah, he was the most famous pirate in his time. My dad told me all about him once."

"Dad'll do anything to get you to go to sleep."

"No. See, One-Eyed Willy stole a treasure once, and it was full of rubies and, and emeralds."

"And diamonds?"

"Diamonds. Then he loaded it all up onto his ship and they sailed away into the sunset. Until the British king, see, he found out about it and then he set up this whole armada to go out after him, then the armada, they- it took them a couple weeks but then they caught up with Willy and, and there was a whole big war, between the armada and Willy's ship, the Inferno. And d-during the firefight, there was these guns bursting here and cannons bursting there. And then Willy fled, 'cause he didn't wanna stay around 'cause he knew he'd get killed if he stayed around. And then, he got into this cave, and the- and then the British, they blew up the walls all around him and, and he got caved in and he's been there ever since."

"Forever?" Data asks.

"Forever." Mikey confirms.

"And ever?" Chunk asks.

"Trapped."

"Wow!"

"You sound just as corny as dad does."

"My dad tells me the truth. You know what he said? He told me that One-Eyed Willy and his bunch were down there for five, six years. And they were digging all these tunnels, and caves. Setting booty traps-"

"Booby traps." Data corrects.

"That's what I said, setting booby traps, so that anybody who tried to get in there would die. And then you know what he did? He killed all of his men."

"Why?"

"Why'd he kill all of 'em?"

"Well because he didn't want them to get to his treasure."

"Yeah, wait a minute, Mikey. But if he killed all of his men, how did the map or the story get out?"

"See, I asked my dad the same question. He said one of the guys must've gotten out, with the map and- and the-"

"Hey, Mikey, I believe ya."

"Yeah, well I don't believe you. I don't believe you at all. I think you're full of it-" The two start to argue again.

"Chunk- what'd you break this time, Chunk?" Brand watches as he kicks a newspaper in a frame over. They all go silent as Chunk picks up the newspaper.

"Hey, you guys, look at this. Hey, you guys ever heard of this guy? Look. Chester Copperpot. Look what it says. 'Chester Copperpot. Missing while in pursuit of local legend. Reclusive scavenger claims 'I have the key... to One-Eyed Willy'.' "

"Wow, do you guys realize what we could do?"

"Nobody ever found nothing, you guys. I mean, why do you think this map would be up here in this attic when it could be in some safety-deposit box somewhere, right?" Brand says, backing up.

"That's right. And anyway, if Chester Copperpot didn't find it, how would we find it?" Mouth walks away as well.

"But what if? You guys, just what if this map can lead to One-Eyed Willy's rich stuff?"

"Maybe."

"Then we wouldn't have to leave the Goon Docks. Come on!"

"Hey Mike, I don't wanna go on any more of your crazy Goonie adventures." The doorbell rings, and everyone goes running to get it.

"Guys! Come on, where are you going? You don't wanna do this?" They ignore Mikey as they race down the stairs. "1632." Mikey grabs the doubloon and the map, rolling it up and following them.

"Senior jerk alert!"

"Can I help you?" Brand asks.

"Hello, little guys. I-I'm Mr. Perkins, Troy's father."

"We know who Troy is. He's such a cheap guy-"

"Shut up." Brand mutters to Data. Mikey walks out, pulling the sleeves of the jacket down. "My dad's not home. Mr. Perkins."

"Is your mommy here?"

"No, sir, actually she's down at the market buying Pampers for all us kids." Brand smiles sarcastically.

Mr. Perkins fake laughs, and his fake smile falls in a matter of seconds. "Papers, Will." He holds his hand out, and Will puts them in his hand.

"Well, you can give these papers to your father to, uhm, read through and sign." Brand goes down the steps, taking the papers from Mr. Perkins. "We'll be by to pick them up in the morning."

"Thank you."

"Thank you." Will and Mr. Perkins walk away.

"You cold, Mikey?"

"Yeah." Mouth walks over to him, wrapping his arms around his waist, resting his head on his shoulder.

When Brand turns around, the expression on everyone's face is sadness.

"Brand, what is all that stuff?"

"It's dad's business."

"But what is it?" Mikey asks again.

"I told you, it's dad's business. Look at 'em smiling."

"They can't wait until tomorrow when they foreclose on all the whatever you call it." Data says, glaring at them.

"Trash the Goon Docks."

"When they wreck our house, I hope they make it a sand trap."

"And never get their balls out."

"You know, I think they made me lose my appetite."

Before the others walk inside, Mouth kisses Mikey's cheek. As they all walk inside, Mikey stays out there, watching them talk in front of their car. He walks across the porch, looking out at the houses.

Mouth walks out from the other side of the porch, and Mikey turns to look at him. Mouth barely gets a word out of his mouth when Mikey runs up to him, cupping his cheeks in his hands and kissing him.

"Come on, before you catch a real cold."

Notes:

this was rlly long but whatever magbe its just my phone idk lmao

no its just my phone - from me on my computer

Chapter 19: The Gig (movie!freddyxzack)

Notes:

the scene when theyre gonna audition except freddy isnt a dumbass and goes out to their van to hang out or whatever

also aged up bc theyre ten :person_standing:

kinda like a before slash fic ? idk theyre just stupid and dont realize they like each other

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Whoa, check out these little kids, man." One of the competing band's members says.

"Hey, shut up."

"Oh, sorry. Thought this was, uh, Battle of The Bands, not the," he clears his throat, "Mickey Mouse Club."

"Hey, you want a piece of me?" Freddy asks, stepping closer to them, still holding the drumsticks.

"Hey, look at this guy!" The other band member says.

"Freddy? Freddy, come on, man! We've gotta focus up, you guys. We got to nail this audition."

"Mr. S?"

"What's up?"

"I don't think I can sing." Tomika says, looking down at the floor.

"What are you talking about? Come here." The two walk away, going to talk privately.

"C'mon, Freddy, what were you thinking?" Katie asks.

"Yeah, don't get yourself in trouble." Marta advises.

"It'll be fine. They're being rude and I'm putting them in their place."

"But you're gonna get in trouble." Alicia says.

"Hey, you seem pretty cool, kid. Wanna come out to our van and hang?"

"Freddy-"

"Sure."

"Freddy!" Zack grabs his wrist.

"Zack, chill. We're just going to hang out, it's not like they're kidnapping me."

"But if you leave, we could be late for the audition. And besides, they were just insulting you. You wanna hang out with someone that insulted you? I know I wouldn't."

"What's your problem, man? They don't even seem bad."

"They insulted you, though. They insulted all of us! Don't you care about the band?"

"Of course I care!"

"Then why would you go off and make us late for the audition."

"I'll be back before we have to go." Freddy turns away, but Zack pulls him even closer. Freddy blushes a light pink, and Zack either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

"No, you won't. Trust me. You don't even know when it is."

"Five min-"

"What if we start before then?" Freddy goes silent. "Exactly. You don't know. Just, stay here, alright?" Freddy looks down at the floor before looking back up at him and nodding.

"Alright." Zack lets go of his wrist.

"C'mon, dude, why don't you wanna come chill with us?" Freddy looks back at them.

"I can't be late for the audition." He hesitates, almost apologizing before deciding against it.

"Alright, let's go, guys." They all walk away, talking about him like a group of girls gossiping about a couple.

"What a bunch of posers."

Lawrence rolls his eyes. "Don't listen to them."

"They're jealous because they aren't friends with Freddy Jones, the ultimate, amazing drummer." Freddy smiles, jokingly rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, right, Zack."

"Okay, we are good to go. Everyone ready?"

They walk in, everyone carrying their own thing.

"Alright, you guys, just wait here for a minute."

"Hey, man, look at this stage!" Freddy says, looking over his shoulder to make sure Zack knows he's talking to him.

"Yeah, it's cool. Aren't you glad I didn't let you leave?"

Freddy smiles. "Shut up." Freddy sits on the edge of the railing, and Zack sits beside him.

"Hey, what's going on, where is everybody?" Dewey asks, Summer walking beside him.

"Uh, auditions are over."

"What?! Who's in charge?" He barely waits a second for an answer before running up to the man at the desk, cleaning up. Summer follows. "Listen, you can't leave. You haven't heard our band."

"Sorry. The bill is full. We're already overbooked."

"No, no, no. Let us just play one song. We're all here. We're ready to go." Dewey looks back at them, throwing his hand up in the air in their direction.

"Who are they?"

"They're my band."

The guy pauses. "Kids? What is this? Some kind of gimmick?"

"No, it's not a gimmick. I know they're kids, but they're awesome. Just listen!"

"Look, thanks for coming down, but you're really not what we're looking for."

Dewey throws the chair out of pure rage, and Zack moves closer to Freddy. Summer backs up.

"You listen to me! These kids have worked their little fingers to the bone just to play one song for you, so you just sit down, shut up, and listen!"  He says, pointing a finger in their face.

The man looks back at the women. "Sheila. Call security."

Zack gets up to leave, but Freddy puts his arm around his shoulders, and he freezes. He's stiff as a rock before melting into the touch, slightly leaning onto Freddy.

[+-+]

Zack gets into Dewey's van, leaning the guitar against the side of the walls. He sits next to Freddy, leaning his head back against the van walls.

"Look, it was just a warm-up gig. We'll still be able to compete against the other schools next quarter." Summer attempts to reassure him, and maybe everyone that's listening.

"What are you talking about? This is the gig, Summer. This was our Woodstock!"

Summer sighs, and both boys can tell she's about to regret what she's saying because it'll go against her rules. "Then we shouldn't take no for an answer."

That wasn't what they were expecting.

Zack sits up, turning to look at the driver's seat in attempt to see what they're doing.

"What?" Dewey stutters mockingly. "Don't take no for an answer? He was- did you see? He was gonna call the fuzz."

"Would you just listen to me?" Summer asks, her tone raising. This made the interest in their conversation even higher, and Zack moved to see them in the side mirror.

"I have an idea."


The kids stand outside, pretending to be sick. Tomika is leaning up against the van door, Katie and Alicia against the side, Marta on the closed door, Summer against the light post, Lawrence is sitting on the sidewalk, and Freddy and Zack beside each other on the ground. They were holding hands, but nobody saw.

"The bricks are uncomfortable." Zack complains.

"Well too bad. We have to wait until Mr. S is done talking." Summer says, looking down at him.

It's silent until Alicia starts complaining too.

"Ugh, can he take any longer?"

"You guys, we have to be patient."

The kids are quiet until Marta whines, "this sucks."

"Shut it! If you want to get caught then keep talking, but I want to get in the show! And don't lie to me because I know you guys do, too!" Summer yells, her voice high pitched.

They're silent for the rest of the time they're waiting. They pretend to cough, and sometimes they breathe quicker to make it look like they're crying.

At one point, Zack started laughing at something, but they couldn't hear him from inside and thought he was crying. It was even more convincing because his arm was over his eyes and they couldn't see the smile on his face.

Suddenly, Dewey walks out, quickly looking back.

By now, Freddy was about to get up on the van roof, Zack about to follow him, Tomika had left her spot against the door and was talking to Marta, Katie and Tomika had switched spots and were talking, and Summer was about to get in the van. Lawrence had stayed in his spot on the sidewalk the whole time.

He turns back to them and gives them thumbs up.

"We're on the bill."

They all start cheering. Katie and Alicia high-five, Summer starts jumping up and down, Tomika and Marta grab each other's hands, shaking them in excitement, and Freddy and Zack hug. Lawrence only stands up, still seeming to doubt if he should be in the band.

"Cut it out! You're dying, remember?" They all stop, and start coughing. Zack and Freddy get into the van first, and soon Katie and Summer are running in. Then Tomika, Alicia and Marta get in. Lawrence gets in last while Summer and Dewey are in the front.


The Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin plays as Dewey drives. He's singing every lyric, even the screaming in the beginning, which Summer finds very amusing.

Freddy is drumming on one of the speakers while everyone is bopping their heads along to the music. Katie attempts to mimic the guitar in the background, but gives up. Zack, sitting beside Freddy, as usual, leans against his side, but Freddy doesn't mind.

"Summer, you get an A-plus and fifty gold stars!"

"I didn't do it for the grade."

"Gimme some of that." They do a short handshake, high-fiving up and down. "Yeah!"

Notes:

idk im watching the movie rn ( its 23:47 what am i doing- ) and thought about it and decided to write it bc wtf why not lmao

Chapter 20: Battle of The Bands (movie!freddyxzack)

Notes:

obviously theyre aged up bc theyre ten and thats weird lmao

idk theyre already dating bc i said so

a lot of scene changes bc i want to

also this is like clingy!freddy bc hes basically always holding zacks hand

but like , who said zack wasnt clingy as well-

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Freddy shakes Dewey by his shoulder, Zack patiently waiting behind him.

"Wake up!" Freddy kicks the mattress twice, and he looks up at them.

"How'd you guys get in here?"

"Front door was open."

It's silent until Dewey asks, "why aren't you guys in school?"

"We did what you told us; we stuck it to the man." Zack says.

"Forget about what I told you. Look, I'm a loser, okay? You listen to my advice, you'll end up like me, with nothing."

Freddy shakes his head, sitting down on the chair behind him. "Come on, man, quit goofing around. This is serious business. We're on a mission. One great rock show can change the world." The sound of a car horn is heard, and Freddy nods to the window. "Look out the window."

Dewey gets up, looking out the window to find the class outside with a bus.

"Mr. S! Come down!" They all start shouting, waving their arms.

"No way. That is so punk rock."


"...no inserts." Freddy walks out, holding a guitar in one hand and Zack's in the other. He almost runs into a woman, now being known as Ned's girlfriend, who gives Ned - the real Ned - an angry look. She moves out of the way and Freddy walks past her, pulling Zack closer.

"What's going on?" Ned asks.

"We've got some rocking to do." Dewey says, and walks past them.

Once they're in the bus, Freddy high-fives Frankie, then grabs Zack's hand and they sit in an empty seat.

"Hi, Mr. Schneebly." The bus driver says.

"How's it going?" The kids all cheer as Dewey walks onto the bus.

"You guys, all I can say is... let's rock!" They all start cheering again.

"One more thing. I want to say I'm sorry... that I used you guys. I'm sorry I lied. And it's not cool to lie to your band-"

"Come on, we're gonna be late! There's no time for apologies! Let's go, come on!" Summer says.

"Alright, let's go!"


The bus stops, and all the kids file out. Billy's holding tons of clothes filled into two bags. Freddy's holding Zack's hand, as usual, and they enter the building, walking right to the stage.

"Hey."

"Hey, can I help you?"

"Yeah, we're competing. We're the School of Rock."

"You and all these kids?" She asks. Freddy's grip on Zack's hand tightens.

"Yeah, we're the band and crew."

"You'd better get in here, hurry up."

"Okay, you guys." The two security guards move out of the way, and they all walk in.

"Hey, we're here."

"You're late. You're up next."

"Okay, we'll be ready, come on!"

"Zack, check this out." Freddy pulls him up beside him so they can watch the band play.

"I'm right here- whoa, it's awesome." Somehow, but not surprisingly, Freddy's arms are around Zack's waist.

"Guys, you don't have to listen to those hacks. Come on, band meeting, right now, gather round. Alright. Frankie, how's security?"

"We're set."

"Okay, Gordon, what about the lights?"

"The light board's up in the balcony. I'll patch it up there."

"Alright. And, uhm, Billy, how's beautification?"

"Are you kidding?" Billy asks, sounding very offended that he would assume it wasn't going perfectly.

"Okay, listen up, you guys. We only have one song to let these guys know who we are, so I think we should play Zack's."

"But why? I mean, really?"

"Yes!" Dewey and Freddy say at the same time.

"The thing is, you guys, I ain't that good. I'm not, and I can admit it. But you, dude, you're fifteen years old, you're already better than me. Your song rocks harder, so let's play it! But, hey, you know what? That's just one guy's opinion. But this ain't my band, it's our band. We all have a say."

"We haven't practiced that one as much." Summer says. "I mean, we might not win!"

"Hey, we didn't come here to win. We came here to play one great show. And on Zack's song, you guys really rock. You know my vote, who else is with me?"

He puts his hand in, and everyone follows.

"Alright, let's pray. God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants, please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high-voltage rock. In your name we pray. Amen."

"Amen." All the kids repeat.

"Now let's get out there and melt some faces!"

"Yeah!" All of their hands go up.

"Go get ready."

"Alright, but you gotta sing it." Zack says.

"Are you sure? It's your song."

"Yeah, it's cool, I'm no singer."

"Okay, I'll sing it. Yeah?"

"What about the lights? All the cues are to the other song."

"Okay, Gordon, you're just gonna have to feel it. You've gotta improvise. You know this song, I know you can do it!"

"Okay."

"Go. Run like the wind!"

"Hey." Billy hands a paper bag to Dewey.

"What's this?"

"You wanted to go with the uniform, so put it on! Quick." Billy walks away, going back to help other people, not waiting for an answer.

"Freddy, I'm nervous. What if I mess it up?"

"Hey, don't be. You're gonna do amazing. You have that solo, remember?" Zack nods. "You're gonna crush that solo! It's gonna be amazing. Don't worry."

"We're going on."

"Hey, Zack." Zack turns around, and Freddy pulls him into a kiss. "Good luck, Zack."


"Hey. What's up? Uhm, we're the School of Rock, and this song was written by our own Zack Mooneyham."

The song starts, and both Freddy and Zack were nervous, but once they both hit their first beat, it was gone, and replaced with excitement.

They were gonna win, they had to. They practiced for hours instead of doing schoolwork. Maybe they didn't win, but hopefully the crowd liked the song. If they didn't, Zack would feel bad, thinking it was his fault they lost AND the crowd didn't like it.

Once Zack started his solo, Freddy couldn't help but be excited, because he killed the solo! When they were leaving the stage, Zack threw his hat to the crowd before walking off.

When they were off the stage, the first thing they all saw was their principal, but they didn't care because the show they had just played was amazing! Freddy had immediately told Zack how amazing the solo was, and he did amazing and it was perfect. Zack smiled and kissed him.

"That was incredible!" Principle Mullins said, high-fiving Dewey. "Oh, my gosh, the lights, and the guitar solos... was it really you playing?"

"So you're not mad?" Dewey asked.

"Mad? I'm furious! I'm horrified, but it was incredible! It was so great. You guys were so great!"

"Dude! You did it man! Those lights were awesome! They were awesome." Dewey picks Gordon up and sets him back down a few seconds later.

"Who's the manager?"

"I am. Summer Hathaway. Nice to meet you." She shakes all their hands.

"Oh, hey, wait, stop. Come here, guys." One of the band members from No Vacancy had said, beckoning them over. "You guys rocked, dude. How old are you?"

"Fifteen." Zack says. This time he's pulling Freddy closer.

"Fifteen? No way, dude. How long you been playing, man?"

"About three years. I used to play classical, but now I play rock."

"Awesome, dude!"

"Alright, b- Zack. We should probably get back." Zack blushes, but he waves goodbye to the band members and leaves to join the group again.


"Alright, guys, this is it. The moment of truth. The winner of this year's Battle of The Bands competition..." The kids cross their fingers, hoping they win. Zack and Freddy stand beside each other, holding the other's hand tightly.

"...is No Vacancy!" The band cheers, hugging each other. The kids immediately feel all the excitement of possibly winning wash away, and Zack almost immediately feels bad, thinking it's his fault they lost because his song wasn't good enough.

"No! Boo!" Dewey yells, booing. "It was a beauty contest, they weren't even listening to the music!" The one band member that was talking to Zack shrugged, as if he was wondering why his band won and they didn't. "Boo! No!" He falls back onto the couch.

"On behalf of the Battle of the Bands, I'd like to present this check for twenty thousand dollars to No Vacancy!" Most of the crowd was booing, knowing for a fact that School of Rock should've won. Maybe a few people cheered for them, but were immediately put in their place.

"What's wrong?" Summer asks, her head tilted to the side.

"What's wrong? Summer didn't you hear? We lost."

"Hey, chill out, dude. Rock isn't about getting an A. The Sex Pistols never won anything."

"Don't let the man get you down." Lawrence says.

"Yeah, I mean, dude, you gotta cheer up. We played a kick-ass show."

"We did, didn't we. It was unbelievable, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Summer nods, smiling.

The sound of people chanting 'School of Rock' gets louder and louder until they all know they aren't hearing anything wrong.

"What is that?" Marta asks as they all turn around.

"It's an encore. They want us to go play another song. It's good, go you guys!" Freddy is one of the first people to start running, pulling Zack behind him.

"Wait, no, no. Just the band- okay, everybody, go!" They all run out, accidentally getting one of the No Vacancy members stuck in the group.

Freddy's already behind the drum set, and he was telling Zack it was "just like last time," and "they're all gonna love it!"

"Thank you, yes, we will play one more."

They tune the guitars in, and Freddy was right, it was just like last time. The nervousness was washed away with excitement once the first cord, symbol or key was hit.


Summer walks into the shared apartment of Dewey and Ned, Patty now nowhere to be seen.

Tomika, Marta and Alicia were singing backup on the right side of Dewey, Zack was playing on the left of Dewey, and Katie was beside Zack with Lawrence playing keyboard behind her. Freddy was behind Zack and Katie, playing percussion.

Zack and Freddy still aren't separable, but once they're playing music, they're so focused they forget inseparable. Of course they're still always near each other, that's why Katie and Zack switched spots.

In the next room, Ned is teaching younger kids the basics of playing guitar.

"Alright, now take it down nice and quiet." All of the music goes down as if it was playing from a speaker and the volume was turned down. "The next thing I want to hear... is a face-melting solo by our own Zack Mooneyham, go! Here we go."

Zack plays a killer solo, and Dewey jokes around, saying, "dude, is my face okay? I think you melted it off," and laughs.

"Alright, now the next thing I want to hear, the very next thing- I don't want to hear anything, unless I hear... a gut-busting drum solo from Freddy. Take it away!"

Next, Freddy plays an amazing drum solo, and once it's done, they're back to the song, Dewey jokes around again, saying, "aw, my gut got busted. What did you do, Freddy?" They all laugh, finding his jokes insanely funny.

"Now I think it's time, we heard from a little somebody. Lawrence on lead solo keyboard, go!"

Lawrence plays an amazing solo on keyboard, and Dewey sings one verse before saying, "alright, slow it up. Listen up, you guys. Here's what I need. I need you girls to repeat after me."

They all sing some random words and sounds, giggling.

"Alright, now the first test is over. I'm gonna need Alicia to give me a two-second vocal solo, go. Here it comes."

Alicia sings her two-second solo, which is only the first line of the chorus of the song.

"Don't Bogart the mic, Alicia. That was beautiful, but now it's time. Come on, Tomika, melt it."

Tomika sings her solo, which is only one word but her voice sounds amazing doing it.

"That was tasty. Marta, blow my brains out. Go."

Marta sings her solo, getting Dewey to do backup before getting his solo. They start laughing as he spins on the floor, almost hitting Katie's legs multiple times.

They make up their own lyrics, which didn't rhyme at all before getting to the actual song.

"Alright, that's it, stop you guys, stop." They can't just end abruptly, so they play an outro as Dewey continues to ask them to stop, out of breath.

"Seriously, you guys. Alright, take five. Take five." He goes around high-fiving everyone. "You want to go? Alright. That was a good class."

"Alright, I'll see you man."

"That was awesome, Zackie." Freddy grabs his hand as they walk over to Zack's guitar case.

"You did amazing on that solo, Freddy."

"Your solo was killer, Zack! Did you even hear it? It was awesome!"

"Your solo was too." Zack said, pulling the zipper to close the case.

"I know that, but your solo, babe!" Freddy kisses his cheek. "It was awesome."

"Thanks, Freddy."

Notes:

its four in the morning why am i writing this-

n e ways here are my 4am ideas put onto this page

:)

Chapter 21: Start of The Band (movie!freddyxzack)

Notes:

yes im rewatching school of rock for the tenth time this week

yes i got a stupid idea to write this bc why not

yes i do hate myself , a lot actually

yes theyre already dating

yes theyre aged up

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The door to room 21-B opens, Principal Mullins walking in.

Eleni and Michelle are sitting on the shelf, holding the classroom's things. Billy is sitting on the edge of his desk, reading a book as Leonard and Marco listen. Gordon is at the teacher's desk, looking at the books on her desk. Summer and Marta are talking to each other, Summer's chair turned sideways. Tomika and Frankie are talking as well, leaning against the shelf. Zack is sitting on Freddy's desk, talking to him.

"Children." 

Besides the kids already at their desk, all of them run to their seat.

"Everyone, I'd like to introduce Mrs. Dunham's substitute. This is Mr. Schneebly." He walks in, nodding his head as if a song was stuck in his head.

"Why don't you write your name on the board?"

"Yes! Yes, I will." He walks up to the board, writing 'MR. Shneee' before scribbling over the last two 'e's. "You know what? Why don't you all just," he grabs the eraser and erases everything except for 'MR. S', "call me 'Mr. S'."

"Mr. S has never taught here at Horace Green, so I want you all to be on your best behavior. So, curriculum's on the desk, and... do you have any questions?"

"Yeah, when's lunch?" A few of the kids cover their mouths, trying not to laugh.

"The children just had their lunch. Is there anything else you need?"

"Uhm... I'm a teacher. All I need are minds for molding." Zack looks back at Freddy, who rolls his eyes.

"Alright, then. Well, thanks again. You saved the day."

Once the door closes, Mr. S looks up, out the door window.

"Okay, who's got food in here?" Everyone looks at the person beside them. "You're not gonna get in trouble. I'm hungry." He says, doing a high-pitched voice when saying 'in trouble'.

Tomika raises her hand.

Mr. S points at her. "You." Everyone turns to look at her. "What do you got?"

She opens her desk, showing a sandwich in her desk.

"Mhm, that's what I'm talking about." He pulls the wrapper down and takes a bite.

"Okay." he says, mouth full. "Teach. Teach. Teach. Alright, look, here's the deal. I've got a hangover. Who knows what that means?"

"Doesn't that mean you're drunk?" Frankie asks.

"No. It means I was drunk yesterday."

"It means you're an alcoholic." Zack turns back to look at him, smiling, as if he was trying not to laugh.

"Wrong."

"You wouldn't come to work hungover unless you were an alcoholic. Dude, you got a disease." Zack covers his mouth, laughing as quiet as possible.

"Hmm. What's your name?"

"Freddy Jones."

"Hm. Hm. Freddy Jones, shut up." Zack turns to look at him again, and he's telling the person next to him to shut up.

He nods his head to the teacher, and whispers, "he sucks."

Zack shrugs and faces Mr. S again.

"The point is, you all can just chill today. We'll start on this crap-ola tomorrow."

Summer raises her hand.

"Yes, Tinkerbell?"

"Summer." She corrects. "As class factotum, first, I'd like to just say, welcome to Horace Green."

"Thank you."

"Do you have an questions about our schedule?" She snaps. "'Cause usually now Mrs. Dunham teaches vocabulary, then gives us a pop quiz, then she'll split us up into our reading groups. Track B is-"

"Okay, hey, hey, hey. Miss Dumbum ain't your teacher today, I am. And I got a headache and the runs, so I say, time for recess."

"But Mr. S, that poster charts everyone's performance." Summer holds her hand up to the chart that says 'Mrs. Dunham's Stars!' in a yellow cut out star above it. "We get gold stars when we master the material covered in class. How do we get gold stars if we just have recess?"

He walks up to the chart. "What are these black dots here?"

"Demerits."

"What kind of a sick school is this?" He says after a loss of words. "Hmm?" He rips the chart off the wall, tearing it to shreds. Summer gasps, backing up. He throws the pieces in the air.

"As long as I'm here, there will be no grades or gold stars or demerits. We're gonna have recess all the time!" Freddy cheers, giving Zack a high-five.

"But Mrs. Dunham only gives us recess for fifteen minutes-"

"Hey! You're not hearing me, girl. I'm in charge, now. Kay? And I say recess. Go! Play and have fun! Now!" Freddy is first to get up, grabbing Zack's wrist and pulling him out of his chair.


They all watch as Mr. S watches the clock, as if he was waiting for something to happen.

Once the second hand passed twelve and it was officially three o'clock, he got up, saying, "yes, we did it, we did it. Come on, gimme some."

He starts giving everyone high-fives. "Gimme some, gimme some of that. Yeah! Woo-hoo!" He pulls the door open, pointing to everyone. "I will see you cats on the flip flop later!" The door shuts as he backs up, leaving everyone confused.

"What the hell?"


They sit in class, doing homework as Mr. S leans back in his chair, his head resting on the chalkboard.

"Are you gonna teach us anything or are we just gonna sit here?"

"...just do whatever you want."

Summer sighs. "I wanna learn from me teacher."

"Besides that. Freddy, what do you like to do?"

He looks up. "I dunno, burn stuff."

"Just- go out and have recess."

"My parents don't spend fifteen thousand dollars a year for recess." Summer snaps.

"What, you wanna learn something?"

"Yes, I do." Summer says, sitting up.

"What you want me to teach you something?" Summer nods. "You want to learn something? Alright, here's a useful lesson for you. Give up. Just quit. Because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose. Big time, because the world is run by the man."

"Who?" Frankie asks.

"The man? Oh, you don't know the man? Well, he's everywhere. In the White House, down the hall- Miss Mullins? She's the man. And the man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank, okay? And there used to be a way to stick it to the man. It was called Rock and Roll. But guess what? Oh, no! The man ruined that too with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome, 'cause the man's just gonna call you a fat, washed-up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just give up!"

The door opens, and everyone sits up straight.

"Oh."

"Mr. Schneebly, it's after ten. On Tuesdays, the children have music class now."

"Right, okay. Uhm, good work, people. We will continue with our lecture on the man when we return." He claps. "Have a good music class." Zack grabs Freddy's hand, giving him a confused look.

"What just happened? Isn't Mullins supposed to be concerned after she heard him tell us to give up?"

"He's new, and Principal Mullins is probably doing that thing where she favorites the substitutes because they're subs and she wants to keep the 'we have the best school in the state' thing going."

"He seems like he's gone mad." Katie says.

"Yeah, he's crazy."


When they enter their classroom again, they see Mr. S with guitars, a keyboard and drums, and he's playing a guitar as well.

"Mr. S, what's going on?" Gordon asks. Zack gives Freddy a confused look, the second time that day, and he shrugs.

"I heard you in music class. You guys can really play. Why didn't anyone tell me? You." Zack and Freddy stop, turning around to look at him. "What's your name?"

"Zack."

"You play the guitar?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, come here." Zack looks back at Freddy, who shrugs, so Zack walks up to Mr. S.

"You ever play the electric guitar?"

"My dad won't let me. He thinks it's a waste of time."

"A waste of-" He grabs the electric guitar, putting the guitar strap over his shoulder. "Try this one. Okay, here's a guitar pick. You pluck along with me, okay, if you can."

First, Mr. S plays the riff from Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Zack copies, note for note.

Next, he plays the riff from Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple. Zack plays it note for note again.

Lastly, they play the riff from Highway to Hell by AC/DC. Zack repeats perfectly.

"Okay, you stay right there. Don't move. Piano man? Front and center."

"Okay." He mumbles.

"What's your name?"

"Lawrence."

"Lawrence, you ever play keyboards? Any techno?"

"No, I only play piano."

"Okay, alright, fair enough. Try this out for me, okay?" He puts a book on the stand. "Just give this a try on my count, alright? One, two, three, four."

Lawrence plays the intro to Touch Me by the Doors, and Mr. S sings the lyrics, making some up.

"Stop. That's perfect, you're perfect. Stay right there, okay? You. Could you come up here please? What was your name?"

"Katie."

"Katie. What was that thing you were playing today, the big thing?"

"Cello."

"Okay, this is a bass guitar, and it's the exact same thing, but instead of playing like this," he mimics the way she was playing on the guitar, "you tip it on the side, ch-hello, you've got a bass. Try it on."

Katie pulls the guitar on, the strap sitting on her shoulder the same way Zack's guitar strap is.

"Okay, now play this note right here, that's a G." She plays it once. "Okay. But let your fingers do the rocking. Keep that G coming all day long." He repeats G over and over as she plays it.

"Good, stop. Are there any drummers in the house?"

"I play percussion." Freddy says.

"That's because you couldn't play anything else."

"Shut up."

"Come here, dude." Freddy hits Frankie's arm as he gets up.

"Just see if you can do what I do, okay? Just give it a try."

He plays lightly, hitting floor tom four times, and repeats that same thing on the snare before hitting the cymbal.

"Okay? Give that a try."

Freddy takes the sticks, and looks at the set before copying what he did, except much louder. Mr. S grabs the cymbal so it doesn't ring too long and alert the other teachers.

"Okay! That's really good. Just stay right here." Freddy smiles, looking back at Zack. Zack smiles and nods.

"Alright, okay. Lawrence, give me a G note. With the fifth above it, and the middle one. No middle one, I changed my mind. Now go an octave below. Now give me some rhythm. And keep that same rhythm, go."

Mr. S walks over to Katie. "Okay, Katie, remember that note I taught you, the G? Play- but also keep it rocking, good."

He then turns around. "Okay, give me like a-" he mimics the sound, and Freddy copies on the floor tom. "Good. Okay, no, that's bad. That's like George of the Jungle. Play it up here on the cymbal but really light. Oh, that's it! Okay, keep going with that."

Mr. S walks up to Zack. "Zack, you remember this thing I taught you a minute ago? It goes like-" He plays the riff from Smoke on the Water.

"Yes! Yes! Woo! Alright, let's go!" He plays a solo, moving wildly.

"Oh! Alright, stop. Stop. You guys. Hey, you guys, stop messing around. We've got a lot of work to do. Okay, people, pay attention, because I do not want to have to fail you."

"I thought you didn't believe in grades."

"Of course I believe in grades. I was testing you and you passed. Good work, Summer. Four and a half gold stars for you." Summer sits up, smiling.

"Now, listen, you guys, you know what? Normal kids would've been stoked to slack off, but not you guys, 'cause you're not normal. You're special. And because I think you guys have the right attitude, I think it's time we started our new class project."

"A science project?" Lawrence asks.

"No. It's called... Rock Band."

"Is this a school project?" Marta asks.

"Yes. And it's a requirement. And it may sound easy... but nothing could be harder. It will test your head... and your mind... and your brain, too."

"Will other schools be competing?" Summer inquires.

"You could say that. You could say that every school in the state will be competing for the top prize!"

"What's the prize?" Billy questions.

"A win will go on your permanent record. Hello, Harvard, yo?" Summer smiles at Eleni. Zack pulls the guitar off his shoulder and lets it rest against the chair. He sits on Freddy's lap, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "The thing is, we're not supposed to get started until next quarter, but I think we should get a leg up on the competition, don't you?"

"I do." Summer says.

"Who else wants to go for the gold?" Everyone agrees. "Alright. But if anyone finds what we're doing in here we'll be disqualified. So let's just keep it on the down-low, shall we?"

"Can we tell our parents?" Katie asks.

"No! Just trust me. They don't wanna know anything about this. Keep it zipped. Alright, you guys, let's kick it into overdrive."

Zack barely moved when Frankie asks, "What are the rest of us supposed to do?"

"You just sit back and enjoy the magic of rock!"

"You mean we're not in the band?"

"Now, hold up now. Just 'cause you're not in the band doesn't mean you're not IN the band. We need backup singers. Who can sing?"

Alicia and Marta raise their hand.

"You, sing." He says to Marta.

Marta sings a line from a song none of them have heard.

"Stop. You've got it, and I don't even know what it is, but you've got it. And that's why you're in the band. You, sing." He says to Alicia.

Again, Alicia sings a line from something none of them have heard.

"Stop, before I start crying because I found the missing ingredient. You're in the band."

"I can sing." Summer says, waving her hand in the air.

"You can?"

"Mhm."

"Alright, Summer, belt it."

Summer sings the song off-key, and doesn't even finish a sentence when she's interrupted.

"Stop, stop. Okay. Good. That's pretty good. Alright." The kids giggle in the background.

"I can also play clarinet, you know."

"I'll find something for you. When we get back from lunch I'll assign the rest of you killer positions!"


The class is lined up against the wall, waiting to be assigned roles.

"Lead guitar... Zack Attack. Take a seat." Zack nods, letting go of Freddy's hand to go sit down.

"On bass, Posh Spice." Katie leaves her spot quickly.

"On keyboards, Mr. Cool." Lawrence smiles, nodding.

"And on drums, Spazzy McGee." Freddy high-fives Zack.

"Okay, Blondie, Brace Face, you're singing backup." They smile at each other.

"Alright, Tough Guy, Shortstop... Fancy Pants, get over here. You guys are on security detail. Your job is to make sure no one outside this room knows what we're doing in here. The future of the band depends on you. Okay, your first mission: soundproofing this room. Get on it." The others nod, but Billy stays behind.

"Can I be the band's stylist instead?"

"Of course you can, Fancy Pants." Billy walks away proudly.

"Okay. Carrot Top, Roadrunner, Turkey Sub, we are gonna have a lot of equipment. We're talking amps, electric guitars, maybe even lasers and smoke machines. Now your job is to master the transportation and operation of this technology. Seriously, without a first-rate roadie crew, we'll never have a psychedelic show, and I can't live with that, okay? I'm counting on you, get going. Go." Tomika, Marco and Gordon walk away.

"Alright. You three... groupies, and your job is simple: just worship the band. And you're gonna be making hats, you're gonna be making T-shirts, all kinds of merchandise. Which leads me to your first assignment: naming the band." Eleni and Michelle seem excited, but Summer doesn't at all. "Alright, sit down."

"As for me, I will be singing lead vocal and shredding guitar."

"Wait, isn't this a student project?"

"What's your point?"

"Are you supposed to be in the band?" Alicia asks. Everyone turns to look at him.

"What, you want to get rid of me? Why, because I'm old? You hate teachers, is that what you're about?"

"No."

"Okay, well teachers like to play, too. And not only am I gonna play, I'm El Capitano, and what I say goes, so put your hands over your hearts." All the kids copy.

"I pledge allegiance,"

"I pledge allegiance,"

"To the band,"

"To the band,"

"Of Mr. Schneebly,"

"Of Mr. Schneebly,"

"And will not fight him,"

"And will not fight him,"

"For creative control,"

"For creative control,"

"And will defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the band."

"And will defer to him on all issues-" The clear words turn into people's words overlapping.

"Let's get rocking!"

"Yeah!" All the kids cheer.

Notes:

probably gonna add more of the actual ship when im not as tired and dead inside

nvm im doing it rn lmao bye - me at 23:05

its the next day and i didnt add much but idk im tired - me at 13:43

Chapter 22: To Tintagel Island (alexanderxlance)

Notes:

i changed the scenes bc why not

also this is before slash lol

i couldnt think of a name so whatever it is its not good-

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Kaye, thanks. You saved us." Alexander says, his hands on his knees as he breathes heavily.

"I was gonna say the same thing to you."

"Yeah, me too. Until I remembered you tricked us into this in the first place." Lance walks up to Alex, pinning him against the wall. "You're coming back to my house, and you're not leaving until you explain exactly what just happened."


"Now, rewind. First. You want me not to smash your faces in?" Lance threatens.

"Yes, please." Bedders says.

"Then, you want us to skip school tomorrow morning, go to Cornwall with this freak new boy, find your long-lost dad, kill some demon sorceress, and save Britain from slavery?"

"Yes." Alexander answers.

"And out of all the people in the entire world, even though there's already a royal family, you're actually the real, true king?"

"Trust me, I'm as shocked as you."

"Well, there's one thing I don't get. Why would people like us... help people like you?"

"Yeah. Why would we, like, even be seen with you?" Kaye adds on.

"Because you're the strongest people I know. In the heat of battle we had each other's backs. We just saved each other's lives without even thinking about it." Alex stands up. "And that's exactly what King Arthur did. He made his enemies his allies. He united the warring tribes of Britain and formed a band of loyal knights. And together, they defeated an enemy bigger than all of them. And think about it. King Arthur's most loyal knights were called Lancelot, Kay and Bedivere." Alex holds his hand out to Lance, then Kaye, then Bedders.

"So?" Lance asks, looking up at Alex with a confused look.

"So that's your names!"

"Oh my God. He's right." Kaye says, suddenly seeming to agree with him.

"The legend says Arthur's knights gathered at a round table, so that they were all equal. And look," Alex looks down at the rectangular table, before remembering that it was a folding table. "Quick, Bedders. Lift up the flaps." The two pull the sides up, and it made a round table. "See? None of this happened by accident. This is destiny. This was meant to be."

Later, Alex and Bedders are told to leave to get ready. Kaye escorts Bedders out, her hand on his back, slightly pushing him out. Lance and Alex walk to the door together, Lance's arm around Alex's shoulders and Alex's arm around the middle of Lance's back.

The door shuts, and the two boys walk away while Lance and Kaye immediately discuss what they're gonna do.


The group sits on the bus, Lance and Alex on one side and Kaye and Bedders on the other. Almost everybody on the bus is asleep, including them.

Alex had fallen asleep with his head on Lance's shoulder, and Lance was leaning his head on the window, asleep.

Bedders was leaning against the side of the bus, and Kaye was sitting perfectly, as if she was awake with her eyes closed.

The bus jerks forward and stops, and everyone wakes up, looking up to see someone walking onto the bus.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing?" Merlin claps his hands and snaps his fingers, and then everyone is put under some sort of spell. The bus driver is driving without complaining, and everyone else is sitting still.

"Bravo, Alexander. You've survived the night unscathed, emerged with two new allies, and formulated an excellent plan. To journey to Tintagel, find your long-lost father, who will then help you find the entrance to the Underworld and destroy Morgana."

"You think it's an excellent plan? Really?"

"Of course it is. Tintagel Island is King Arthur's birthplace. It is strong in magic. The Mortes Milles cannot touch you there. Sir Lance, Lady Kaye," Merlin holds his hands out to them both, "a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Do us a favor, Mertin." Lance crosses his arms. "Don't talk to us. We're only here for the fights."

"That's hardly the attitude of a knight, young man. Where's your respect for the Chivalric Code?" Kaye looks across the aisle at Lance, both of them confused, before looking back up at Merlin. "Don't tell me you've never heard of the Chivalric Code. Driver! Stop this coach at once!" The bus stops abruptly, and they all file out of the bus. Merlin walks insanely fast, and the others have to jog to keep up with him.

"The Code is the cornerstone of a civilized society, the very credo upon which this nation was built. If you don't know the Code, then this entire enterprise is utterly hopeless!"

"What the hell is he on about?" Lance asks.

"Excuse me, but why are we getting off the coach?" Kaye asks Merlin.

"Shortcut." He simply answers. "Follow me. Quickly. No slacking."


They walk very far, and they walk through a sheep pen before Merlin stands on the gate door.

"Halt!" They all stop. "Now, pay close attention. The Chivalric Code is the set of rules by which all noble knights live. Obeying the Code from the moment the sword is drawn is what makes you pure of heart. And only a knight of pure heart can slay Morgana. You must commit the following to memory. Rule one. Honor those you love."

"Easy." Lance says to Kaye.

"Yeah, because you love yourself."

"Rule two. Refrain from wanton offense."

"What's 'wanton'?" Lance asks.

"It's Chinese food, I think." Bedders answers.

"It is not Chinese food. 'Wanton' means deliberate or unprovoked."

"It means don't be rude or swear or be nasty to people." Alex answers after Merlin finishes talking.

"Alright. Don't look at me."

"Rule three. Speak the truth at all times."

"Easy, again."

Kaye looks him up and down, quickly and doubtingly. "That's a lie."

"And finally, rule four. Persevere in any enterprise until the end. Break any of these rules from the moment the sword was drawn, and your quest is lost before it has even begun. I trust that is not a problem." Kaye and Lance look at each other with a knowing look, and she sighs.


They walk through a field, Merlin in front, then Alex, Bedders, Kaye, and Lance in the back.

"Oi! Mini Merlin! What're you doing? We're not walking to Cornwall!" Lance yells to him.

"Indeed, we are not." They walk up the hill, seeing a group of tourists at Stonehenge.

"And for centuries, historians have puzzled over the purpose of Stonehenge. Was it a temple? A burial ground? Some sort of astrological clock?" A tour guide informs the crowd.

Merlin pushes through the crowd of tourists, and the other four follow. "No, it is not, you ignorant buffoon! Stonehenge is a transport hub. And just because the Romans knocked half of it down does not mean it's broken."

"Uh, excuse me!" Merlin ignores him, and starts snapping and hitting his hands again. "The general public's not permitted to approach the stones without the correct authorization!" They all watch as the group walks through two of the rocks of Stonehenge. "Hey, wait! Security! Security!"

"C'mon!" Lance shoves Kaye in, running into the fading portal, and it disappears once Lance walks in.

The place they walked into was cold and raining. They all pull the hoods of their raincoats up.

"You see? They're all linked. All the Paleolithic standing stones in the country. Built as a magical conveyance system, designed by yours truly. We are now on Bodmin Moor, one hundred and fourty miles from Stonehenge and a mere, invigorating twenty mile walk due west to Tintagel Island!" Merlin looks up, holding out his arms as the rain falls onto him.

"What did he just say?" Kaye asks, shocked.

"Did he say a twenty mile walk?" Lance asks as if he was confirming what Merlin had said.

"The most worthwhile path, my young friends, is seldom the easiest." Merlin turns on his heel and begins walking.

"Come on, Bedders."

"I'm coming." Bedders trails behind Alex, and Kaye follows willingly, but Lance stays in place.

"Come on, Lance!" Kaye pulls him by his arm, and they're all walking now, following Merlin through the wind and rain.

"I hate this already." Lance complains.

Notes:

sometimes im very concerned for myself-

Chapter 23: The Battle of the Bands (musical!freddyxzack)

Notes:

im watching the obc musical rn and i just got the idea for this so yuh

if the words are off its because its a bootleg of the musical and i cant tell what theyre saying so im going off of what im hearing

also , anything sang is in italics and not everything will be accurate to what actually happens but whatever

also aged up and theyre already dating bc fuck you ( that last part is a joke lmao )

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The group, Zack, Freddy, Katie, Summer, Tomika and Lawrence, runs into the Dewey's apartment, all yelling at him to "get going" and he "needs to come with them" at the same time. Zack falls onto Dewey's bed, and everyone else stands around his bed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! What're you guys doing here?"

"We've come to get you. The bus is outside." Freddy answers, pointing his drumsticks at the window.

"Okay, you guys gotta get back to school-" Dewey sits down on the edge of his bed. Zack cuts him off.

"Yeah, yeah, come on, the bus is outside and we're late and we have to go!"

"Mr. Schneebly, we can't give up now-"

"Mr. Schneebly?" Dewey cuts Summer off. "I lied to you. I used you and worst of all I wasted all your time. Please, just- please go back to your lives, okay? Go."

They all start talking at the same time, none of their words making any sense to anyone else but themselves.

"Oh, just go!"

"I was lost, lost and in pain. So much hurt bottled inside. All the things I should've said. I just kept trying to hide." Tomika sits down beside Dewey.

"And I thought nobody could, but you, you understood. I needed to share and only you would listen. Hope someone would care, and only you would listen. You raised my voice up, taught me not to fear. I've learned who I am because you're here. Look around see what you've done. Can't you tell how you've came through." Dewey looks around at everyone before standing up, and Tomika follows. Zack takes Dewey's place at the end of his bed, and Freddy sits down beside him.

"And now you, you need someone, so let us be there for you. Don't you know we'll understand? Because you're, you're in the band."

Zack and Freddy stand up, and everyone moves closer to Dewey. "We want you to stay. If only you would listen. We need you to play. If only you would listen. Now that we've found you, you can't just disappear. School won't be the same without you here."

"I needed respect." Summer puts her hand on her chest, stepping closer.

"I needed a chance." Freddy moves closer to him, and Dewey looks over at him.

"And only you would listen."

"Only you would listen.

"I couldn't connect." Zack says, walking in front of him.

"Just wanted one glance." Katie and Lawrence walk closer to them, Katie beside Summer and Lawrence behind Dewey.

"And only you would listen."

"You gave us voices. Helped us make them clear. You gave us voices."

"You gave us voices." The others overlap Tomika's word right as she says 'voices'.

"Helped us make them clear." They all sing together.

Tomika grabs Dewey's hand, and he looks over at her. "You've taught us so much since you've been here."

They overlap Tomika once she says 'here'. "You've taught us so much since you've been here."

Dewey pauses. "I can't."

The sound of a horn is heard, and shortly after people singing.

"When the world has screwed you, and crushed you in it's fist!" Zack and Freddy run to the windows, looking through the curtains.

"What's that?"

"When the way you're treated has got you good and pissed!"

"Your students." Summer says, proudly. Dewey runs up and onto his bed, and gasps once he looks out the window.

"There's been one solution since the world began! Don't just sit and take it-" They all start yelling for Dewey to come down to the bus. Dewey knows it's for him, even though they're yelling for Mr. Schneebly.

Freddy holds up the drumsticks, pointing them at Dewey. He turns around to look at the group surrounding him.

"Stick it to the man."

"Rant and rave-"

"And scream and shout." Summer finishes.

"Get all of your aggression out."

"They try to stop you, let 'em know-" Katie starts.

"Exactly where they all could go." Lawrence finishes.

"Do everything they ever tried to ban!" Zack, Freddy and Lawrence get up onto Dewey's bed and start jumping.

"And tell them where to stick their boring plans!" Summer, Katie and Tomika follow, jumping on Dewey's bed as well.

"And do it just as loudly as you can!" They all jump off his bed.

"Yes! Yes!" They look up at him from on their knees, surrounding him on his bed. "And we shall teach rock, to the world! There's-" Lawrence holds up his guitar, "-no way you can stop-" Lawrence gives him the guitar, Dewey takes it. "-the School of Rock!" He puts the guitar on, and they all raise their arms, holding up the rock and roll sign.

"Now, get to the bus! Go!" They all run out the door, almost running into the woman from Parent's Night that called Dewey out, now known as Patty.

"There is a bus full of singing kids blocking the driveway, what is going on?" Her voice fades away, and their conversation can't be heard anymore.


"And now, the Battle of the Bands welcomes to the stage, No Vacancy!" No Vacancy starts their song, and around a minute in, the class runs backstage.

"You're late." Jeff Sanderson says.

"Yes, we're late, but we're here, and the show's not over."

"You're on up next. Be ready."

"Okay, lights?" Summer asks Mason.

"All set with lights, next to the main board."

"Good. Pair the makeup with costumes?"

"Nearly there, just a few more looks." Billy answers.

"Guys, gather round, gather round, gather round, okay. Okay, we only have one song to show them who we are, and I think it should be Zack's."

"What about your song?" Zack asks with a nervous voice, standing up.

"No, dude, you don't get it. You are better than me. You are fourteen years old and you're better than me!"

"But we don't know it. Not like we know your song."

"If we play it, we may not win." Lawrence says. Everyone else agrees, giving their own opinion.

"We are not here to win, we are to rock, okay? Tomika, you're singing solo." Dewey stands up. "Now, are you with me?"

"Yeah!" They all yell.

"Then let's pray." Everyone else is standing, but Sophie, Zack and Freddy are on the ground, on their knees. Freddy puts his drumsticks in the pile instead of his hand.

"Please bow your heads." They all look down at the ground, closing their eyes. "Gods of rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass." Everyone - except Freddy, who remembered when Dewey had said 'we're the School of Rock, we can say anything' - looks up at him. He nods, and they all look back down. "We are your humble servants, but please, give us the strength to blow their frigging minds. Amen."

"Amen."

"Now let's rock." Everyone throws their hands up and out of the pile. Except Freddy. He just raises his drumsticks up.

"Yeah!"

"Mr. Schneebly, here!" Billy holds a bag out for Dewey.

"Ah, dude, it's Dewey."

"Whatever! I almost forgot, this is your costume."

"...I don't get it."

"Just put it on! You're so stubborn!" Billy yells, annoyed.

"Okay! Alright!" Dewey repeats.

Suddenly, everyone's parents come backstage, but they can't make it past the entrance since security is holding them back, yelling they need to have a pass.

"There is my son! Zack, what are you doing with that man?" Zack's dad yells. Zack walks up to him, but keeps his distance from him.

"That man? You mean the man that made me feel like I could do something?" Zack snaps, walking away from his dad and going to stand beside Freddy.

"Why here? Why now?" One of Tomika's dads asks.

"Because I'm part of the class. It's the first time."

"Honey-" Tomika's dad starts.

"Mom. I never felt cool before. But I'm in a real band. I'm with the cool kids."

"Summer, make them let us in!" Summer's mother yells to her. Summer turns away, more focused on whatever is on the clipboard than her mother. They parents are told to get tickets, then the band gets called that they're on, and the parents run away to get tickets and everyone runs to get on stage.

"Zack, I'm warning you!" Zack and Freddy stop.

"You don't get it, dad! For once in your life, open your ears and listen! This is for us, for the kids and you are not taking it away." Zack walks away, Freddy quickly following.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, the School of Rock!"

"Hi, we are the School of Rock, and this song was written by our lead guitarist, Zack Mooneyham."

"Zack?" Zack's dad says, but Zack starts playing and Zack's father goes ignored.

"Baby, we was makin' straight A's, but we were stuck in a dumb daze. Don't take much to memorize your lies. I feel like I've been hypnotized. And then, that magic man, he come to town. Woo-wee! He done spun my head around. He said 'recess is in session, two and two make five.' And now, baby, oh, I'm alive. Oh yea! I'm alive."

The backup singers start to sing, singing 'ooh, la-la-la' from beats one to three and stopping on four, then starting again. "And if you wanna be the teacher's pet, baby, you just better forget it. Rock got no reason, rock got no rhyme. You better get me to school on time. Oh, yeah!"

"Yeah!" Dewey plays a killer solo, and then Tomika starts singing.

"Oh, you know I was on the Honor Roll. Got good grades, ain't got no soul. Raise my hand before I can speak my mind. I've been biting my tongue too many times."

"And then that magic man sent you away."

"Uh huh."

"Do what magic man do, not what magic man say."

"Say what?"

"Now, can I please have the attention of the class? Today's ass-ignment..." Dewey laughs.

"KICK SOME ASS!" The backup singers, as well as Katie and Zack yell.

"And if you wanna be the teacher's pet, baby, you just better forget it. Rock got no reason, rock got no rhyme. You better get me to school on time. And if you wanna be the teacher's pet, well, baby, you just better forget it. Rock got no reason, rock got no rhyme. You better get me to school on time. Oh yeah!"

"Yeah!" The music softens.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Lawrence on keys!" The music goes back to being loud as Lawrence plays his solo.

"Now, this is my final exam. Now y'all know who I am. I might not be that perfect son, but ya'll be rockin' when I'm done. It's Zack Mooneyham everyone!" Zack plays an amazing solo.

"We are the School of Rock, and school, is, out!" The lights go crazy, flashing and changing every second. Once the song ends, the lights go off, except for the main lights which are orange and all over the barrier of the stage.

"Give it up for the School of Rock!" Jeff Sanderson says, then gives a really quick outro for a break and they all leave the stage.

Once they're backstage, the parents that went to the show run to their kid, hugging them and telling them how proud they are.

"Tomika! Tomika! That was amazing!" They reassure her and tell her how amazing she did, and then tell her not to strain her throat.

"Zack, come here." Zack walks up to him.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Nah. I love you, son. And I've never been more proud." Zack jumps up, hugging him. His dad catches him and hugs him back.

"Dewey!" Ned runs in, goth-type of outfit on, and stretches the 'y' out.

Zack's dad puts Zack back on the ground, and Zack runs over to Freddy. They stare at each other before Zack smiles and hugs him. Freddy starts laughing and hugs him back. They sit down on the floor, Zack and Freddy facing each other, holding hands like stupid boys in love.

Zack pulls him in for a kiss by his shirt collar, which wasn't the easiest thing to do but it was fine because neither cared. In accidentally turned into them making out, but nobody had noticed.

"Oh my God, Dewey, that was awesome!" Ned spins them in circles.

"Ned, you look incredible, man!"

"You did it!"

"No, no, it was all them, seriously."

"Say it with me, Maggot Death Mania!"

Dewey repeats a few times with a monotone voice before apologizing and walking up to Principle Mullins.

By now, Zack had pulled away to get some air. Then the tie around Zack's head was pulled off, and Freddy was playing with Zack's hair, and Zack was laying on the floor, his head resting on Freddy's legs.

"Uh, hi, uh... they came to my house, and, I, uh-"

"There he is!" Zack sits up, looking at Patty before backing up against the back of the stage. "There he is! There's the man, take him."

"Is there a problem, officer?"

"Sir, I'm gonna need you to come with me."

"What's going on?"

"It's been reported that this teacher-"

"Oh, no no no no no no no, he is not a teacher at all."

"That's right, he is not a teacher." Principle Mullins says, stepping up to Patty. Everyone panics, thinking that Principle Mullins was going to blow Dewey's cover completely.

"Mr. Finn is, our music coach, and he is fully qualified for that." Everyone starts to agree with her.

"This has been a mistake, ma'am"

"No, no, wait a minute-" Patty starts before the police officer cuts her off.

"Think twice before you waste police time. Eh? Eh?" He points at Summer's mother and then Ned for no reason before walking away.

"Give it up, Patty, it's over."

"Ned!" She pauses, looking like she's fallen in love for him again. "Ned..." Patty says, pointing at his ripped shirt.

"Forget Applebee's we're going to Red Lobster!" She takes his hand and they walk away.

"Wait... wait, you didn't mean that, what you said about music coaching."

"I don't know, but let's try it! What do you say? Music coaching after school? Because I've missed this, Dewey. I have never felt so cool in my life!" Principle Mullins kisses Dewey, and everyone gasps. A few parents cover their kids eyes, but they all just watch in shock.

"The winner, of tonight's twenty thousand dollar first prize is... No Vacancy!"

"What?"

"That's disgraceful!"

"I demand a recount!" Zack's father yells. "School of Rock! School of Rock!"

The other parents join in, and they walked away, and soon the crowd joined in too. 

"Hey. Hey, hey, guys, come here. Come here." Zack and Freddy stand up, and everyone walks over to Dewey, huddling around him.

"Come here, listen. Now listen. They are screaming our name. Kay? That is rock and roll." He wraps his arms around Freddy and Mason's shoulders. Everyone moves in closer, putting their arms around the person beside them. "That is what we came here for. They're the signs. No real rock star ever won anything. I'm really proud of you guys. We did it. We did it!"

"Okay, okay! By popular demand, welcome back to the stage," everyone looks up, confused. "the School of Rock!" They all scatter, running to grab their things and booking it onto the stage.

"Go! Go! Okay, okay, okay! Yes!" Everyone gets ready and is on stage.

"Hi, we're the School of Rock, and thank you for bringing us back. Uhm, feel free to clap along. Thank you again. Here we go!"

Everyone on stage that's able to clap starts clapping along. "When the world has screwed you, and-"

The rest of the band starts singing along. "-crushed you in it's fist. When the way you're treated has got you good and pissed. There's been one solution since the world began."

"Don't just sit and take it."

"Stick it to the man! Rant and rave and scream and shout. Get all of your aggression out. They try to stop you, let 'em know exactly where they all could go!"

"And do it just as loudly as you can!"

"Stick it to the man!"

"Give it up one more time for Zack Mooneyham!" Zack plays another amazing solo.

"And on keys, give it up for Lawrence Turner!" Lawrence plays another great solo.

"And on bass, give it up for Katie Travis!" Katie plays her first solo of the day, and it was amazing.

"And on drums, it's Freddy Hamilton!" Freddy plays his first solo of the day, and it was awesome.

"I dare you to clap along. Let's go!"

"When the world has screwed you, and crushed you in it's fist. When the way you're treated has got you good and pissed. Rant and rave and scream and shout and stick your middle finger out and wreck your room and rip your jeans-" Dewey stops, letting the kids finish.

"-and show 'em what rebellion means!"

"Do everything they ever tried ban!"

"Yeah!"

"And tell 'em where to stick their boring plans!"

"Yeah!"

"And do it just as loudly as you can!"

"Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man!"

Everyone, including Zack and Freddy and Katie and Lawrence yells. "Stick it to the man!"

Notes:

kinda out of my comfort zone but whatever lmao 🤪🤪

Chapter 24: The Graveyard (lewisxtarby)

Notes:

theyre such a power couple dont even-

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"I'll find you that curve-ball spell. Just gimme a sec." Lewis says, looking through all the books on the shelf. Tarby walks away, getting tired of waiting for his boyfriend to find the book.

"Whoa. What's in there?" Tarby asks, walking up to a locked cabinet with a skull above it.

"Oh, I- we're not allowed to open it."

"Oh yeah? Why not?"

"I don't know, but it's my uncle's only rule. Besides, it's locked." Right as Lewis finishes his sentence, Tarby holds up a key he found in one of the drawers beneath the cabinet.

"No," he shakes the key, "it's not."

Lewis almost trips going down the steps as Tarby turns the key in the lock. "Tarby, I mean it. We can't."

Tarby ignores him, setting the key down. "Don't be such a scaredy-cat." He's about to pull the locks open when he looks back at him. "Maybe it's the spell you're looking for."

"No!" Tarby pulls the cabinet doors open anyways. Lewis is about to run up to him, pull him away and close the cabinet doors, but he freezes, staring at the book inside.

Tarby grabs the book from inside the cabinet. He opens the book, seeing a page titled 'Necromancy' and a really weird and creepy drawing.

"What's... necromancy?"

"Noun. The practice of communicating with the dead or raising them to life. Put it back!" Lewis goes to grab the book, but Tarby pulls it away, out of his reach.

"Raising the dead? Now that would be a trick." Lewis looks up in fear as he hears something - or someone - hitting the floor near them.

"Put it back!" Lewis grabs the book, trying to pull it out of Tarby's grip.

"Stop!"

"We have to put it back right now!" Lewis manages to pull the book out of his hands, accidentally hitting him with the book, which shoves him back.

"Fine."

He runs over to the open cabinet, almost tripping over the stool before putting the book back, locking it and putting the key back in the drawer.

"None of it's real, anyways! It's all just weird. You're just weird." Lewis runs over to him and grabs his wrist.

"I swear, it's real. I promise. I wouldn't lie to you, Tarby. I don't even think I could lie to anybody I love, whether it's you or my mom or my uncle. Just, trust me."

Tarby pauses, looking for any signs of sarcasm or lies or anything, but there's nothing except truth.

"You're lucky I love you." Lewis smiles, and hugs him, which is something Tarby has gotten used to by now. Lewis hugs him, a lot.

"That's my uncle coming downstairs. Make it look like you're leaving. I promise I won't get caught."

"I'm trusting you, Lewis." Lewis opens the door, and Tarby 'leaves', but really, he's waiting outside the doors.

"Was that the Corrigan boy?"

"He was just leaving."

"What were you two doing?"

"Nothing. Uncle Jonathan, do you want to play ball with me?"

"I can't right now. There's something I need to look into. Later, okay?"

"Okay." The sound of the doors shutting and the locks clicking, followed by the clocks ticking lets them know they're in the clear.

Lewis opens the door, looking down at Tarby with a soft smile. He holds his hand out, and Tarby takes it, pulling himself up. Except he doesn't let go after. Lewis shuts the door quietly and they both run up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible.


Lewis sits on the seesaw, watching Tarby, his "friends" and some of the other schoolkids play kickball.

"Tarby's a jerk, you know." Lewis looks over at the girl sitting on the swings, reading a book about insects. "He always runs for president each year, and he's always nice until the election. After that... he goes back to being," the girl rolls her eyes, "him. You don't need him. We could go look for spiders, if you want."

The school bell rings, and a whistle blows, signaling that recess time is over.

"Just leave me alone, okay?" Lewis stands up, walking up to the fence.

"Tarby!" Tarby looks up at him, trying to pretend like they're both not anything more than friends. They were barely considered friends at school, so even giving the look that could be interpreted as 'they're actually good friends' or even 'they're more than friends' was risky. But still, his attempt failed miserably.

"Okay. You wanna see some real magic? I'll show you."

"Yeah? You gonna saw a lady in half?"

"...I'm gonna raise the dead."

"You're a liar. No one can raise the dead."

"Watch me. Unless... unless you're scared."

Tarby kicks the ball into the fence. He's stopped walking and stands at the gate.

"You need a babysitter? Fine. But this whole thing is just gonna be a big waste of time. When?"


Tarby hides behind one of the gravestones, which looks a lot like the Grim Reaper, watching Lewis walk into the graveyard with the book and a flashlight.

He waited until Lewis pointed his flashlight up at the stone before jumping out from behind the stone.

"Boo!" Lewis yells, stumbling back. Tarby laughs, going to stand beside him.

"Tarby, that's not funny!"

"It is from here. Well, come on, smart guy. Who are we gonna wake up?" They both point their flashlights around scanning all the gravestones. "How about this one?"

"The lamb means that it's a kid's grave, and I don't wanna raise up a kid."

"It's creepy that you know that." Lewis looks over at him and sighs, holding up the book. The bone hand points somewhere, which must be where they need to go.

"This way, I think." Lewis, on instinct, grabs Tarby's hand.

"Nice trick with the book, Lewis. I know that's you."

"No, it's not." The finger taps in the next direction.

"Is that it?" Tarby points his flashlight at a tomb in the distance.

"Yeah. I think so." Lewis looks at him, worry filling his expression.

"Come on." Tarby says, trying to act like the braver one, when he was just as scared as Lewis. He starts to walk away, threatening to let go of Lewis' hand. This brings Lewis back to reality, and he stumbles, but catches up to him.

They make the summoning circle with rocks and twigs, just like in the book. Making the star with twigs was difficult but they figured it out eventually. Lewis pulls out a pocket knife, and cuts his thumb on the side. Tarby's immediately at his side, making sure he's okay.

"Are you sure you're okay, love?"

"I-I'm sure, Tarbs. Go and sit down."

Lewis puts his thumb against the book, the blood from the cut right in the center of the book's star.

"Okay." Lewis stands next to Tarby and holds the book comfortably. Tarby stands up, grabbing his hand, which makes Lewis need to find another comfortable way of holding the book, but he didn't care. Lewis clears his throat and starts to read.

"For thou who sleeps in stone and clay, heed this call - rise up and obey. Trek on through the mortal door. Assemble flesh and walk once more."

Tarby looks around, seeing that nothing has happened at all. He watches the tomb carefully, afraid that it might've actually worked.

"So what now?"

"That's it. That's all it says."

"See. I told you all this was-" The top of the tomb moves, and Tarby trips going down the steps, but catches his balance. The lid is pushed open, and Tarby's first instinct is to run, but he can't leave Lewis here alone, so he stays, slowly backing up.

"Tarby?"

"Yeah?"

"I think it worked."

"Well obviously, genius."

"What do we do?"

"Nothing else happened. Maybe it's just a prank-" A rotting bone comes up, and it lands on the tombstone, now becoming actual flesh. Except it's a gray-green color, and not a normal skin tone, like pale, which is what it should be, since it's a corpse.

Lewis screams, and that was Tarby's queue to grab his wrist and run. Lewis had stumbled up the steps and tripped. Tarby pulls him up, and they continue running.

They ran all the way to Lewis' house, and they quickly enter before Lewis shuts the door. He puts the book back, closing the cabinet, but forgetting to lock it. Tarby hadn't realized either, since he was trying to calm Lewis down. It wasn't working very well, but he was trying.

Lewis ran into his room, and pulls the comforter up to his chin. Tarby sits down beside him.

"You- you can lay down, i-if you want! I-I don't want to force you to do anything."

"Sure, I'd rather comfort you than watch you try, and fail, to comfort yourself."


When Lewis woke up, he didn't expect to see Tarby laying beside him, sleeping as if nothing had happened last night. As if they didn't summon the dead and then run home because they had assumed it wouldn't work and hadn't planned for what to do after if it did work.

When Lewis tries to make his bed with a flick of his wrist and nothing happens, he looks down at his hand and then at his bed. He tries again, but gets the same response. Nothing.

When Lewis tries to ask the house to put his clothes back, and nothing happens, he starts to think about what happened, and what the consequences might've been.

When Tarby woke up, he wasn't expecting to see his boyfriend panicking. He wasn't even expecting to wake up in Lewis' bed, even after remembering what happened, and how Lewis had brought a dead person back to life, he wasn't expecting this.

"Lewis? What's wrong?" Tarby asks, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"My powers- the magic- the house- it won't- why won't- what did I do- why can't I-"

"Lewis, Lewis, calm down. Tell me what happened."

So he did.

He told him everything. He didn't mean to, but he did. He told him about the house, and all the magic he learned, and the dreams he's been having, and everything else he could remember.

"We'll figure it out, okay? We just need to get that dude back to being dead, and not a zombie."


"Uncle Jonathan?"

"Don't come up! I'm- a- I'm coming down."

Lewis walks near the stairs, holding a book to keep himself from holding Tarby's hand.

"Listen. I- we need to talk to you."

"Not a great time, Lewis. I'm working on a heavy-duty spell. I want you to stay at Mrs. Z's for a few days."

"Come on. I see the horseshoes. I know something's wrong."

"What are you talking about? Eh- I- There- Everything's fine!"

"No, it's not." Florence says. "You're right, Lewis. Something is wrong. Something is very wrong."

"Florence-"

"They both have eyes, Jonathan. It's our friend, Isaac Izard. Except he's not our friend. He's very wicked, very powerful, and I'm afraid he's back from the great beyond."

"Yeah, uh, that's what I wanted to talk-"

"And when we find out who's raised him from the dead, they are going to be sorry. Very sorry."

"Oh. Mm, yeah, they- they sure will."

"Look. The truth is, it's not safe for either of you here. At least not now. So go next door with Florence, okay?" She holds her hand out. "Everything's gonna be fine."

Notes:

its 2am why am i writing this- whatever , its fine

Chapter 25: The Audition (billyxjames)

Notes:

it could just be considered as friendly hand holding but i look to far into tiny little details so here we are now , with me giving even more than what happened lmao

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The bell rings, and Mr. Schneebly leaves the classroom. The class waits inside, up against the wall near the door.

Zack is in front, Freddy is behind him, and then Katie and Summer are behind them, and then Billy, James and Mason, then Marcy, Shonelle, Sophie and Madison, while Lawrence and Tomika are in the back.

"Arah!" Everyone looks over as Zack opens the door and looks out at Mr. Schneebly.

"Was that the signal?"

Mr. Schneebly nods. "Yes. Let's go." Everyone rushes out of the classroom, and Sophie accidentally slams the door. Everyone jumps, looking over at her.

When they try to leave, one of the teachers walks in, and everyone runs behind the shelves filled with awards. Lawrence hits the shelf and almost drops one of the awards. He catches it, but almost falls over and drops it, so it goes around the group until Zack gives it to Mr. Schneebly, who grabs it and puts it back. The teacher continues walking to the teacher's lounge.

As they're about to leave, Mrs. Sheinkopf leaves her classroom. They all run to the other side as she passes. They all stick their heads out from the side, watching as she walks away. Then, when Mr. Schneebly gets up to make sure the coast is clear for real this time, they all line up against the back of the shelf.

Mr. Schneebly points to one side, then the other, then back to the first side, then the opposite, and keeps doing that until everybody leaves.

They run out of the building, going in the order of Sophie, Zack, Marcy, Mason, Billy, Summer, Shonelle, Tomika, Madison, Katie, James, Lawrence, and then Freddy. Mr. Schneebly shuts the doors, and they've officially made their escape.


"We're late! You should've driven faster!" Mason complains.

"Not with you guys in the van."

"Careful, Mr. Schneebly, you're starting to sound responsible." Summer warns.

"I- uh- I'm sorry, why are you here again?"

"I'm the manager. We're booking our first show. Where else would I be?"

"That, is fair."

"I thought we were playing against other schools." Zack says.

"Oh- uh, yeah. We are. But first we go against the big boys."

"They're gonna laugh at us." Marcy says.

"Why? Why would they laugh at us?"

"Because we do not know what we're doing."

"Because we don't look like rock stars." Lawrence points out.

"What?"

"We look like geeks."

"Okay, okay, first of all, what you guys have is what everybody wants. And that is talent! Ah, dude, as far as looking like a rock star, did Mama Cass look like a rock star? No. She weighed three hundred pounds. But when she was on stage, she was goddess! People worshiped her!"

"What happened to her?" Summer asks.

"She choked to death on a ham sandwich. That's not my point."

"What is the point, Mr. Schneebly?" Lawrence asks.

"Alright, let me put it this way: if we don't make the cut, we don't play in The Battle. And if we miss The Battle, this whole project is shot. You all won't go to Harvard and we're all failures." He pauses, realizing how negative that was and tries to make it better. "No pressure."

"Well you heard him, get set up!" Summer yells.

"Hello, hey, excuse me. I'm looking for Jeff Sanderson." Mr. Schneebly says to a man with a black hat and jacket.

"I am he."

"They said you're in charge here."

"I was in charge."

"What do- what do you mean?"

"Auditions are finished. We only had a couple to see, this morning. That was the last and now the bill is filled." Jeff Sanderson looks at all the kids. "Who are they?"

"My- my band."

"Kids? Is this some kind of gimmick?"

"No? It's not a gimmick. I know they're kids but they're awesome. Just listen." Freddy hits his drumsticks together, but Jeff Sanderson interrupts them all preparing.

"I'm sorry. I don't have time. I have to go. Better luck next year."

"There won't be a next year!" Summer yells.

Jeff Sanderson clears his throat. "What?"

"There won't be a next year for us. Any of us. Will there, Mr. Schneebly?" Summer glares at him, trying to get him to go along with the act.

"She's right, Jeff." Everyone watches, confused at what was going on.

"Can I call you Jeff? Ah, Jeff, I know you guys have your rules, I get that, and if it wasn't for the fact that the Battle of the Bands has been, like," Summer grabs Jeff's hand, "the only thing keeping these kids alive, I-"

Freddy finally understands what was going on, and once Katie looked over at him, he started fake coughing, which made everyone else understand what was happening, and they all pretended to be sick, like laying across the bass drum, or leaning on the speakers. 

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, Jeff, these kids have a condition."

"What condition?"

"A rare blood disorder. Stikkitu Demanus." Summer says, trying to make "stick it to the man" sound like a name for a disease.

"That sounds horrible."

"Yeah, yeah, Jeff. Jeff, have you ever heard of the Yoda Hospice for Children Out of Luck?"

"I don't think I have."

"Oh, it's a good place, Jeff, and the people there, good people. But they can't work miracles. I only wish they could." Mr. Schneebly licks his fingers and rubs it on his face, trying to make it look like he was crying.

"Still, the dream of this competition has given them a few extra, stolen weeks, and for that..." Mr. Schneebly picks up Tomika, holding her like she was hurt, and Sophie, Billy and James all pile on top of each other. "and for that, Jeff, we thank you."

James holds his hand up, and Billy grabs it, intertwining their fingers. James pulls their hands onto his chest and quickly kisses Billy's hand before he puts his hand over them. Billy blushes, looking down even more than he already was.

"Alright, let's go get all of your wheelchairs."

Mr. Schneebly starts to walk away, but stops and turns around, still carrying Tomika.

"I mean, unless you just wanna listen to them? Just so they haven't made the journey for nothing?" Everyone sits back up, but James and Billy are still holding hands.

"I don't know."

"Hit it kids!" Summer yells.

"One, two, three!" Freddy hits his drumsticks on each beat, and then everyone starts playing. Before James can get up to give Mr. Schneebly his guitar, Sophie has given it to him.

"Cause you're not hardcore."

"No you're not hardcore."

"Unless you live hardcore."

"Unless you live hardcore."

"C'mon Jeff, help these kids and be hardcore! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!"

"Alright! I surrender! You're in!" Everyone starts cheering, and James is quick to grab Billy's shirt collar and pull him in for a kiss.

"Oh, my, god, you guys we're in the Battle of the Bands! There's no way you can stop the School of Rock!"

"When the world has screwed you, and crushed you in its fist! When the way you're treated has got you good and pissed! Rant and rave and scream and shout! Get all of your aggression out! They try to stop you let 'em know exactly where they all can go!"

"And do it just as loudly as you can-"

"Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man! Stick it to the man!"

Notes:

can i say i love the choreography for school of rock like its amazing

Chapter 26: Mary Lou (zanley)

Notes:

theyre already dating and idk how to write they/them pronouns into like bf/gf but im trying to figure it out lmao

the internet isnt helping omg

tw for injuries and mentions of throwing up

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Stanley had been walking for hours, with no hope of seeing Zero anywhere.

The moment he sees the broken ship, he runs as fast as he can (which isn't very fast) up to the broken down ship.

Seeing the orange jumpsuit not moving underneath the boat, panics rises through him. He leans down to try and see them better.

"Zero?" No response. "Zero?" He says this much louder, and still nothing. When Zero's foot moves back into the boat, Stanley smiles.

Zero looks out from under the boat. "Huh?" They look up at Stanley. "Stanley."

"What's up, baby. How you doing?" Stanley runs up to them, hugging them tightly.

"Alright."

"Oh! We thought you were gone."

"I was."

"Lemme see. You don't look too bad." Stanley pushes Zero's hair out of the way, making sure they weren't sick or hurt.

"You got any water?"

Stanley looks down at his canteen, and mentally curses himself for not thinking to fill it back up before trying to drive the water truck away. "No. I'm out."

"Oh."

"But, hey, you know the water truck?" Zero nods. "I tried to drive the whole thing over here. I drove it into a hole."

"Figures." Stanley laughs. "What's in the bag?"

"Oh, it's empty."

Zero leans against the boat and yawns.

"Zero, we got to get back to camp." Zero looks up at him as if he was crazy.

"I'm not going back." Stanley looks over in the direction of the camp. "Want some Sploosh?"

"Some what?" Stanley looks over at them.

"Sploosh. Come on, follow me, I'll show you."

"Some w-" Zero cuts him off.

"Come on." Zero slips underneath the door, but that wasn't the easiest for Stanley.

"Can't you get a door?" Stanley complains as Zero grabs a dirt covered jar off of a shelf.

"This is how I found it." Zero hits the jar against their shovel until the top of it breaks. They hold it out for Stanley to take. "Here."

Stanley takes it from them. "What is this?"

"Sploosh. That's what I call it. Drink it, it's good."

Stanley sips it. "That is pretty good."

"Yeah."

"Tastes like peaches. How many of these you got left?"

Zero sighs. "That's the last one."

"We need to go back to camp. Okay? So let's wrap it up, get your bag, put this in there, and we'll go." Zero gives him another confused look, as if Stanley didn't say this already, and Zero hadn't already given their answer.

"I'm not going back."

"You will die out here. Here's what we're gonna do, okay? We're gonna go back to camp. And we're gonna tell the Warden exactly where I found Kate Barlow's lipstick tube. And she'll be so happy. We won't get in any trouble. Okay?"

Zero takes a sip of Sploosh before asking, "what's 'mare-yelo'?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Mare-yelo."

"I don't know."

Zero sighs. "Come on, dude." Stanley doesn't move. "Come on." Stanley follows them out of the boat. "See?" Zero points at the carving it the boat, which read 'Mary Lou'.

"Oh, it's 'Mary Lou'."

"Oh. But I thought 'y' made the 'yuh' sound?"

"Yeah, well, it does at the beginning of a word, but not at the end of a... word." Stanley stares at a mountain in front of the two of them. "See that mountain right there?"

"That one?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"What does that look like to you?" Zero holds up their thumb, and Stanley does the same.


"You know, my great-grandpa almost died out here." Stanley says.

"Really?"

"Yeah. But they say he survived because he made it to the top of God's Thumb."


"You ready?" Stanley asks, looking down at Zero.

"It's a long way."

"Yeah. We better get up before dark."

"Yeah."

They look up at the mountain, which is going straight up. That means they would have to climb it like a rock wall.


"Hey, bubba. What do you think's up there?" Zero asks.

"Oh, I don't know. Probably a great, big frosty-freeze."

"Good. I could use a hot-fudge sundae."


"You know what I keep thinking about? Imagine how fine this Mary Lou probably looked in a bikini. Oh!" Stanley slips, almost falling.

"Karma!" Zero holds up their shovel, and Stanley laughs.

"I'm joking, I only like you."

"I like you too, I guess." Zero says with a smile plastered on their face.

"Hey!" Zero smiles as Stanley tries to pull him down from the rock he had climbed up.


Zero gets up just fine, but their boyfriend was having some trouble figuring out where to grab at the rocks to pull himself up.

"Don't look down, man."

Stanley looks down anyways.

"Oh my God."

"You okay? Come on, Stanley. You can do it."

He sighs. "Okay."

"Come on."

"Okay. You grab right there?"

"Yeah, look. That's where I got." Stanley goes to grab the rock, but misses and spins, so he's on the side of the rock that's facing outwards. Zero panics and holds their hand out.

"Whoa!"

"Whoa! No no no no! No. Come on, come on, come on! Come on!" Stanley looks up at them helplessly, and Zero grabs their shovel, holding the wooden part out to Stanley while they hold the actual shovel.

Stanley pulls himself up, looking down at the ground with a proud smile, laughing. "Whoo! Oh. Look at that."

"Look at this, man. This isn't cool."

"What happened?" Zero holds their palms out, which were split open near their fingers.

"Alright, love, hold on." Zero inhales sharply, and Stanley rips the cloth he had under his hat. He wraps it around his hand, pressing down on the cut a little too hard. Zero groans in pain, tempted to pull his hand away from the cloth but doesn't.

"Is it numb or is it stinging?"

"It stings, man!"

"Don't think about it right now. When we get to the top of the mountain, I'm gonna get you a hot-fudge sundae, alright? I promise."

"Good. All that Sploosh is getting to me."


"Give me another word."

"R-O-C-K."

"R- ...rock?" Zero says, hesitantly.

"Yep, that's right, babe. You're doing good. Keep practicing."

Zero starts coughing, and puts his shovel down.

"We're almost there. Come on."

Zero stops coughing and throws up. Zero loses any and all feelings in his legs and started to tumble down the hill.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Zero!" Stanley runs after him. "Zero, Zero, Zero, Zero! Got you, got you, got you! Got you. You good? You good? Hold on. Alright, alright, alright, hold on. Hold on, let me get in front of you. Stay right there. Stay right there. Okay, here. Slide this down. Okay. Alright. There you go. Nice and comfy."

"Stanley. I got to tell you something, man."

"What? Huh? Come on, Zero. Zero. Zero!" Zero goes unconscious, and Stanley sighs. "Alright. We can't sit here. We got to keep going. We're gonna go get the shovel, and we're gonna fill it full of ice cream." Stanley picks him up, letting him stay on his back while he carries the shovel.

Notes:

theyre so cute stfu

Chapter 27: Treasure Chest (zanley)

Notes:

ZERO / HECTOR USING THEY/THEM PRONOUNS >>>

spoilers for the end ig idk

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"How long have I been sleeping?" Zero asks.

"A long time."

"Stanley, I got to tell you something."

"What?" Stanley says right after them.

"It's my fault you were sent to Camp Green Lake. I stole the shoes."

"Wait, what?" Stanley pulls them closer, letting them sit on his lap.

Zero sighs. "I didn't know they were Sweet Feet's.  I mean, a lot of people donated, uh, all their old stuff to the homeless shelter. And I saw the shoes and I just... I liked 'em. I didn't know they were famous. Next thing I know everyone's bugging out. 'The shoes are gone. The shoes are gone. Where are the shoes?' Walking down the street, I heard the sirens coming after me. I got scared. I end up getting busted the next day, lifting a pair of shoes from a Payless."

"It's destiny." Zero looks up at him, and Stanley smiles at them. "I've got something to tell you, too."

"What?"

"I..." Stanley trials off, going red.

"C'mon, what is it?"

"I..."

"Stanley, tell me-"

"I love you." Zero freezes.

"...What?"

"I love you." Stanley repeats.

"I love you, too. Isn't this when we kiss and it's all romantic or whatever?"

"Yeah."

"So do it!"

"Wait, wha-" Zero rolls their eyes, grabbing the jumpsuit and pulling him into a kiss.


"Hector... I'm glad you stole those shoes and threw them on my head."

"What?"

"None of this would've happened. When I first got sent to Camp Green Lake... I thought I got sent there because of my- my- my family's curse. But we're not even at camp anymore. You know, we're, we're on God's Thumb." Zero shakes their head and takes another bite of his onion.

"I just have this weird feeling... everything's cool."

Zero nods. "Yeah. Same here."

"You got the same feeling?"

"Same feeling."

"It's a good one." Zero looks up at the sky.

"You know, those stars look like a shovel to me." Stanley looks up as well.

"Exactly." Stanley whispers. "Hector..."

"What's up?" They make eye contact, and Stanley smiles.

"I feel lucky." Zero smiles, and they both start laughing.

"The onions have gone to your head."

"What do you say we dig one more hole?"


Zero and Stanley run back to camp, hiding behind the piles of dirt.

"Ready?"

They run to another dirt pile.

"You see right there?" Stanley points to a hole in the ground.

"That's it?"

"Yeah." They run up to the hole, and Stanley starts digging at the sides.

"Is this the hole?"

"Yeah, this is it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive." Stanley assures.

"It's gonna take too long, babe. I got to go find another shovel."

"Alright. Be careful, love."

"Alright." Zero runs off.


When Zero got to the part of the camp with the library, a shed filled with shovels, it was dark out and Dr. Pendanski and Mr. Sir were arguing.

"Of course she's gonna make you pay for it! It's your truck."

"Now you're accusing me of doing something! You think I did this to my own truck?" Mr. Sir yells.

"You left the keys," Zero looks back at the two arguing and runs to the shovels. "inside of a truck in front of a bun- this is a juvenile work camp with juvenile delinquents."

"Don't get me heated because I- don't insult me!"

"A truck with a tank full of gas?" Pendanski asks with a mocking tone.

"I said 'get me a wrench.' Did I say 'get me a wrench'?"

Zero climbs up the door, pulling themselves up with the light handle.

"Alright, fine, I'll get you a wrench."

"Get me a wrench! You dumb- read my lips! Get me a wrench!"

"I'm getting it, you sideburned Neanderthal! I ain't here to be a mechanic! Ah! Don't you throw nothing at me!" Mr. Sir had thrown part of the truck at Pendanski, but it missed and hit the library door. Once Zero knew the two were gone, they climbed down and picked up the truck piece, opening the door and grabbing a shovel. They close it quietly and run back.

Zero stops in front of Stanley, who was so far into the hole that they would have to put more dirt back in to get him out. "Whoa! Babe, you really been working."

"Yeah."

"Comin' down."

"Go." Zero falls in beside him, and immediately starts digging.

"How's it going?"

"Who knows? I could be digging up diamonds and not see 'em."

"I don't think Kissin' Kate Barlow would have buried her treasure this deep."

"Come on. We got to make it wider."

"How do we know one of her gang didn't already come back and dig up the treasure, babe?"

"We don't." Stanley answered, hitting around the dirt. Zero shakes their head and rolls their eyes but goes back to digging. They barely get their shovel in the dirt when a thud comes from Stanley's side. 

"Did you hear that?" Stanley hits the spot again, with the same thud coming from it. Zero smiles.

"What's this?" They hit around the spot until the rocks crumble and fall.

"Watch out, watch out." Stanley barely pulls the object out of the dirt when he yells, "we found it!" Zero laughs triumphantly.

"Come on, come on, come on." They pull the chest out, and hold it up.

"This is it!"

"What did I say! What did I say!"

"Oh, man!" They put the chest down a hug each other. A bright light shines on them, and they both look over to see the Warden.

"Thank you boys. You've been a big help."

Zero glares at her. "I'm not a boy."

Suddenly, she gasps.

"Oh, jeez! Get back!" The two of them scream and jump slightly as the chest is covered with the yellow-spotted lizards they were warned about. They both move as slowly as possible, and press their backs against the dirt. Zero panics and grabs Stanley's hand.

"Oh my God."

"O-o-oh ho. Ho ho." One of the lizards crawls up Stanley's neck.

"Don't move." Zero mutters.

"Well, get in there, and pull it out." The Warden orders.

"You get in there." Mr. Sir replies.

"Fine. I'll just wait." One of the lizards on Zero's shoulder moves, and they close their eyes tightly. "Won't take long."

"No, it won't take long."

"Oh my goodness!" Dr. Pendanski walks up, and stops when he sees all the lizards.

"Yeah, check it out."

"Oh my God."

"Here we go." Another lizard crawls up Stanley's neck, slightly on his face. 

"Hey, Stanley, guess what? You're innocent. Your lawyer came by yesterday to get you. Too bad you weren't there."

"Don't listen to him, baby." Stanley flushed.

"Least now we'll have a body to give her." Stanley whimpers as a lizard crawls on his face.

"What 'bout Zero?"

"Zero was never here." Zero looks up with a glare. "We got lots of holes to choose from. Do you know how long I've been waiting for this? My granddaddy owned the whole lake, then it dried up. He drove himself crazy out here digging holes. Made me dig, too. Even on Christmas."


The Warden, Dr. Pendanski and Mr. Sir we're back the next day. Zero and Stanley had gotten tired of standing and had sat down. They were still holding hands, of course.

"Maybe we should just shoot 'em."

"The lizards or the kids?" Pendanski asks.

"You don't want to shoot any of those lizards. They'll start leapin' all over the place."

"I just wanna know why they haven't been bitten yet." The Warden says.

"Oh, crap." Mr. Sir says, making the adults turn their heads away from the two.

"Oh, for Pete's sake. That can't be her already."

"Well, it ain't the girl scouts selling cookies." Mr. Sir retorts. 

"Alright, keep holding the boys in the mess hall. Tell 'em not to talk to anyone." The Warden commands. "As long as they keep their mouths shut, they won't have to dig any more holes. But if they talk... they'll be severely punished."

"What should I tell them we're gonna do to 'em if they do talk?" Pendanski asks.

"Use your imagination. Go on!" Pendanski flinches and runs away. He trips over a pile of dirt and falls into a hole. Zero smiles, trying not to laugh. When the two make eye contact, they both start giggling, trying not to be too loud and scare the lizards.

"I just don't get it. Nothing makes sense anymore around here."

"Stanley." Zero whispers. Surprisingly, Stanley doesn't hear them, even though they're right next to each other. "Stanley. Babe!" Zero whispers as loud as possible without the adults above the two hearing them.

"What?"

"Is your last name your first name spelled backwards?"

"Yeah." Zero glances down at the chest, reading the words again to make sure he wasn't seeing things wrong.


"We wanted to call, but the phone lines go down out here sometimes. Watch your step here."

"Well, you could've tried harder. You can always reach me."

"We did. We called several times."

"Don't go no further! It's danger!"

"Where's Stanley?" Someone asks, and Stanley was sure it wasn't his mother.

"I'll tell you. He broke into my cabin about an hour ago." Stanley looks over where the conversation is coming from with a glare. "I woke up and saw him runnin' out with my trunk. They ran out here. I don't know what the hell they were thinking!"

Pendanski covers for the Warden. "I witnessed it myself, counselor. Don't go too close!"

The woman gasps. "Oh my God!" The two teens look up, now very unfazed with the reaction. Stanley was standing and Zero was still sitting with the chest between their legs.

"Don't move. How long have they been down there?"

"Have you tried to get them out?"

"Well, just what do you suggest, counselor?"

"Well this wouldn't have happened if you had released him to me yesterday." And that was when Stanley realized this was his lawyer.

"Excuse me. This wouldn't have happened if he wasn't a thief."

"What?" Stanley turns. "A thief?" The lizard jumps off of his shoulder. The other two crawl off and run away as he gets up and out of the hole. "That's a lie!" Zero stands up, and the other lizards jump off of them and run off of the chest.

"Stanley didn't steal anything!" Zero picks up the chest and walks out of the hole.

"Thank God. Thank God, you're okay!" The Warden tries to take the chest away from Zero, acting like this was all their fault and she was forgiving the two teens for getting it back to her.

"What are you doing? It's Stanley's! What are you doing? Let go!"

"Now listen, you've been caught red-handed. I could send Stanley right back to prison if I pressed charges. However, in view of all the circumstances, I think I'll just take-"

"It has his name on it!" Zero yells, pulling it away from her.

"What? No it doesn't!"

"Let go!" The Warden stops as she sees the name 'Stanley Yelnats' on the chest.

"Oh my God."

"You see? Stan-ley Yel-nats." Stanley smiles proudly.

"He- he can't read." Pendanski says in attempt to make them look like a fool.

"Zero uses they! Not he!" Stanley yells, insanely pissed off with the three adults. 

"That's not possible." The Warden says, ignoring the two boys. Stanley smiles as the chest is taken out of her hands.

"Stanley, I'm taking you home. Let's go."

"Come on, Zero. We're getting out of here."

"What'd you do?" Zero glares at her as they walk away.

"Come on." Zero grabs Stanley's hand, intertwining their fingers, and Stanley blushes.


"Get your hands back."

"No."

"Come on, get your hands off."

"I have to look inside."

"Get your hands off. Listen, don't-"

"This is mine. It was on my property and you are a thief!"

"It is not yours!"

"My granddaddy-"

"It has absolutely nothing to do- Stanley, come on." Stanley walks up to the two women arguing with a backpack around his shoulders and Zero at his side.

"This is un-American."

"Put your things in the trunk. Your parents are waiting. Let's go." Stanley looks back at Zero.

"I can't leave without Hector."

"I'll be okay."

"Stanley, there is nothing that I can do for your friend."

"Don't worry..." Pendanski walks up to Zero, and Zero gives him an unimpressed look. "We'll take good care of Hector." Zero looks down at Pendanski's hand, which is on their shoulder.

"I'm not leaving here without them."

"Earl, would you please get me Hector's file?"

"Most certainly, Carla. Ms. Walker. Well?"

"Get me the file of Hector Zeroni." Pendanski gives her a look that screams 'what'll I do because we don't have a file for them?'. "Well, just do it!" Pendanski walks off. Stanley nudges their arm, but Zero holds out his hand. Stanley smiles and holds his hand.

"They're alive!" Someone behind them yells, and they turn around to see nobody. Suddenly, all the boys in the D Tent run out of the mess hall, and are basically killing the two as they crowd around them, hugging and high-fiving them. The other tents soon follow.

"Caveman!"

"Hey, Zero!"

"What's up, Zero?"

"What's up?"

"What's up, man?"

"I can't believe you guys made it."

"Oh, man! We thought you were buzzard food."

"No, I'm not. I'm going home."

"Going home?"

"Man, you stink, dude. What you been eating, man?"

"You smell like onions!"

"Well, uh..." the talking dies down as Pendanski and Mr. Sir walk out, "there seems to be no file of... Hector Zeroni."

"What?"

"Is that so?"

"What kind of a camp you running here?"

"A nice one. If the state would give us some money, then we'd have some decent filing."

"I am ordering an investigation of this facility."

"Hey, lady, you got a pen and paper I could borrow?" Armpit asks.

"No. I don't. But it looks like he does." Mr. Sir points to himself, still hiding behind his clipboard. "Yeah. You got a pen?"

"Yeah. Here. Here's a pencil."

"You got paper?"

"Uhm... here." He gives her the clipboard and pulls his jacket up and over his face.

Stanley's lawyer, Morengo, sighs. "Here you go."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Hey, call my Mom."

"What?"

"Tell her I said I was sorry." He rips the paper. "Tell her, 'Theodore said he was sorry'." Armpit gives Stanley the piece of paper.

"I will, man."

"Thanks, man."

"I will. I definitely will."

"Marion Sevillo."

"Oh, crap." Mr. Sir mutters.

"It's been a long time since el Paso, Marion." Earl shoves Mr. Sir against the wall. Everyone starts talking about what was happening, or watching the scene go down. "You're in violation of your parole, carrying this weapon." Earl takes the gun away from him.

"I had no knowledge of that." Nobody can tell if she was being serious or faking it.

"Oh, yeah, just like you didn't know Pendanski wasn't no doctor neither." Well that answers their questions. Everyone starts laughing.

"Sit down, Marion. You're under arrest."

"Marion? Tell ya, I didn't know that was a man's name." Zig-Zag says, and everyone starts laughing again.

"It ain't." They all go 'ooh!'

"Okay! This facility is now under our jurisdiction."

"What?" The Warden asks, shocked.

"Boys, put these three bozos right over there, and let them see the other side of the criminal justice system." They all start cheering.

"Excuse me? Don't push me! I'm a lady!"

"Come on, Hector. You're coming with us. Let's go."

"Come on, babe." Stanley walks towards the car, ruffling their hair when they saw flash of lightning and heard the sound of thunder.

"What's that?" Tons of clouds cover the sky, and drops of water fall down.

"It's rain!"

The camp runs out into the rain, all cheering and running around. They all stand up, and the Warden looks around with teary eyes.

Stanley hugs Zero from behind, resting his chin on their head.

"Guess I was pretty lucky, huh?" Zero turns around, shaking their head with a smile.

"Just kiss me already." Stanley smiles and pulls him closer and connecting their lips with a kiss in the rain.

"Hector! Stanley! Come on!"

"You be careful out there in the real world, a'ight?" X-Ray pats his shoulder.

"Alright, boss."

"Everyone's not as friendly as us. Hold on for me."

"We'll miss you, man!"

"Alright, guys! Be good! Keep your head up!"

"We'll miss you!"

"Alright, Stanley." Stanley drops his bag in the trunk.

"Stanley, Stanley, won't you just open it? Just let me see what's inside it, please."

"Excuse me?" Stanley quotes, shutting the trunk and 

"Have a seat over here." Earl says, and shuts the door once they're both inside.

"D Tent!"

"See you again! I will see you!" X-Ray points at the teens in the car.

"D Tent!" Armpit echos.

"You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be repre..." The man's voice fades away as they drive away from Camp Green Lake. They start laughing as Twitch tries to run after the car, but is being held back.


"Okay, one more thing, no matter what is in this box... we are still family."

"We are the Yelnats. We know."

"On one..."

"Cross your fingers. Cross your fingers."

"Two... three." Stanley's dad, Stanley III, breaks open the lock.

"Oh my God, honey, you've still got it. You are so strong."

Stanley III opens the chest, and everything inside is just sparkly and shiny, and everyone gasps.

"Oh, my God!"

"Yeah?"

"Oh mama."

"Oh boy."

Stanley wraps his arms around Zero, pulling them into a hug, and then lifting them up and spinning them around. "Oh my God, Zero, babe, look."

"Oh my goodness."

"Let me see that."

"Sure." Stanley's grandfather, Stanley II, takes the book from Stanley III.

"Look at this." Stanley holds up a gold coin for Zero to see. "Okay, guys, hold on, hold on. Before we do anything, I think that it's only fair that half of whatever is in this box goes to my significant other, Hector Zeroni." Stanley pulls them closer.

"Aw, you wanna go halfsies? Well..."

"Did you say 'Zeroni'?"

"Sure did." Stanley II laughs happily and kisses the top of their head. Stanley pulls Zero closer, obviously jealous for no reason. Zero giggles quietly.

"Don't worry, Stanley, I'm all yours." Stanley smiles down at them.

"Oh my God! Is that really worth $25,000?"

"Hold on. Check the date, though."

"AT&T."

"1905."

"What's it worth, honey?"

"It's worth a lot more now. Millions."

"Millions?"

"Millions." Stanley III says.

"Millions." Stanley II echos.

"One for us. One for Mx. Zeroni." The teens laugh. "One for us. One for Mx. Zeroni." Stanley III finishes reading through the four papers, and Zero smiles widely.


"Stanley. Zero." The two walk out, holding hands, dressed in normal clothes and not orange jumpsuits. A bus pulls up, and they walk down the stairs together. The bus doors open, and out walks a woman. Zero and Stanley stop walking and stare at her as they process who it is. The woman does the same.

Zero and their mom run at each other at the same time, and she spins them around. She looks up, seeing Stanley watching, and holds her arm out. Stanley smiles, and runs and hugs the two as well.

"You took care of him, right?" Zero's mom asks Stanley.

"It's they. And yes, I took care of them." Zero's mom gasps.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

"It's okay, mom. As long as you're here with us." Zero's mom smiles, hugging the two teens even tighter than before.


Zero runs and flips into the pool. Stanley follows, going down the slide and landing beside him. X-Ray and Armpit are playing pool basketball, and are basically killing each other over who got the ball. Magnet, Zig-Zag and Stanley are splashing each other while Zero watches, amused. Stanley III is making hot-dogs and burgers when Stanley's mom runs outside.

"Come on, everybody! Out of the pool! It's showtime! Book it out!" Zero is first out of the pool, grabbing his towel off the ground, with X-Ray right after, but he's not second in the house since he's lost his towel. Stanley was second in the house, since his towel was right beside Zero's.

"Come on, boys! Hurry! Hurry! It's on!"

The boys and Zero all huddle together, now dried off, on Stanley's couch.

"Sit down, sit down. Oh, good."

"To my fans, I'm known as Sweet Feet." Stanley high-fives him. "But to my wife, I was known as-"

"Stinky feet." She finishes. "None of his teammates ever wanted to sit next to him in the dugout." They all laugh.

"But that's all over now, thanks to Sploosh."

"Sploosh!" Stanley II and Stanley's mom look at each other with a knowing look.

"I just spray a little on each foot every morning-"

"And now, he really does have sweet feet." The couple press their foreheads together as the logo comes up on the screen.

"Sploosh! Now available in the Sweet Feet collectible decanter. A product of K.B. Industries."

"Plus, I like the tingle."

The commercial ends, and everyone starts clapping and cheering.

Notes:

why did i write this ? i dont know

i have school tomorrow and its 22:09 ( 10:09pm )

but if they werent in love then im super straight ( which isnt a thing so them not being in love isnt a thing either )

Chapter 28: Esmé's Elevator (dunklaus)

Notes:

i saw this post on tumblr with a bunch of dunklaus headcanons and adfhbrfujksjdks it was cute so i wrote one

creds to the fifth headcanon on this post ( https://lordofthemarauders.tumblr.com/post/175794605283/dunklaus-headcanons ) bc holy fucking shit this is the only reason i made this ( only bc i had no inspiration until i saw it )

theyre already dating dont worry lmao

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"What Mrs. Poe said about elevators got me thinking. On every other floor there's one elevator, but here there's two." Klaus explains.

"There has to be a reasonable explanation." Violet says.

"Well maybe it's where Count Olaf hid the Quagmires."

They stand in front of the elevator, and Klaus pushes the elevator button. The door opens, and they see no Quagmires, but instead an empty elevator shaft.

"No platform, no console, no cables or electromagnetic braking system. There's no elevator at all."

"The elevator's ersatz. It's just a long dark tunnel."

"A shaft." Violet corrects.

"I can dig it." Sunny babbles.

"The Quagmires got kidnapped while trying to help us. It's our fault they're gone."

"It's not our fault."

"It is our fault if we don't rescue them."

"We will." Violet ties her hair up into a ponytail, and starts thinking


"You nervous?" Violet asks.

"I'm anxious. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do this."

"Me neither. But if we wait until we're ready, we'll wait the rest of our lives."

Of course, Klaus agrees. So they push the basket down the shaft. At first they think it didn't work and they're going to die from how fast they were falling, but then they start to slowly float to the bottom of the elevator shaft. They look down, seeing how much lower they have to go before they reach the bottom of the shaft.

The basket lands in front of the two triplets, and they both look desperate to get out of the cage.

"You found us." Klaus gets out of the basket, and puts his hands over Duncan's. Duncan gets the message, and moves closer to the bars he was holding. Klaus cups his face in his hands, and Duncan leans into his touch.

"Just kiss him already and get it over with." Isadora begs, not wanting able to see them being all touchy-feely and their dumb PDA because she's jealous of her brother and his boyfriend but won't admit it.

Klaus smiles, and the boys lean closer. Their lips connect, and the two girls groan, even though they knew it would happen sooner or later.

"I'm so happy to see you." Isadora says to Violet.

The boys pull away, though Klaus' hands never leave Duncan's face.

"I've never been so happy to see anyone in my life."

"How did you find us?"

"It was Klaus' idea." Violet says.

"It was Violet's invention."

"Do you think you could pick this lock?"

"Not without any tools. I wish I could see what's down here." Violet looks down at the dark floor, leaning down to see better. Once she realizes she can't see anything she stands up.

"Try this." Isadora holds out part of the spyglass. Violet takes it from her, and Klaus moves away from Duncan, but he's still holding his hand because he can't bare to lose him again.

"See the markings? If you line them up..." Duncan starts.

"And give it a half-turn counterclockwise." Isadora finishes. The spyglass lights up like a flashlight. "We learned that in The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations."

"You found the book?" Klaus turns towards Isadora.

"Right before we were kidnapped. We took as many notes as we could. We may be kidnap victims, but I'm still a journalist." Duncan holds out a pile of papers.

"We've learned many haunting secrets."

"About our parents. And your parents, too."

"We were right. Everything is connected."

"Well, what did you learn?" Klaus asks, but neither triplet can say a word as the sound of people walking up the stairs cuts them both off.

"You can tell us when you're safe." Violet says.

"We heard Count Olaf's plan. He's going to hide us in one of the items at the In Auction so he can sneak us out of the city tomorrow." Isadora informs.

"No he's not. You're coming with us, right now." Klaus looks at Duncan more than Isadora when he said it, but that doesn't mean he didn't want to save one triplet over the other, he just didn't want to lose his boyfriend again.

"I think it's an electromagnetic circuit." Violet cuts in. "It's not just light, it's heat. I wonder..." Violet turns the markings again, and this time a red light comes out of the spyglass.

"The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations said that the spyglass can be used for all sorts of things."

"Then maybe it can melt the lock." Violet holds it up to the lock, and the two triplets back away. Klaus moves to the side of the cage, since he hasn't felt the need to get back in the basket yet. The lock shakes, but no damage is made to it.

"Did it melt?" The triplets move closer to the lock, and Klaus moves to the front of the cage, holding his hand out for Duncan to take, which he does immediately.

"No. It just got hotter." Klaus puts his other hand over the lock, feeling the heat radiate off of the lock.

"It's not gonna work. I can feel it overheating."

"There must be something else down here that you can use."

"Can you hand me that newspaper?" Isadora grabs the newspaper off the ground, and Violet takes it from her. She holds the newspaper up, and turns the heat back on. They all look up as the newspaper floats up.

"Heat rises." Violet comments.

"What?" Klaus asks, mind completely blank.

"We have to go back up to the penthouse."

"You're leaving?" The sound of Duncan's voice makes Klaus's heart break.

"We're gonna find something there to get you out. Can you gather the handkerchief as tight as you can?"

"I see what you mean. Heat rises." Duncan and Klaus make eye contact, and Duncan nods. Klaus lets go off his hand to pull the handkerchief together.

"And so will we." Klaus pulls the handkerchief up and sets it in the basket.

"Sunny and I should stay here with the Quagmires."

"No, Klaus. Help your sister. Just... Come back soon."

"We will."

"We promise."

Violet turns the heat on, and the handkerchief rises slowly. Klaus uses the time to kiss Duncan goodbye, and once he gets back into the basket the handkerchief is almost completely in the air to bring them back up to the penthouse.

"You saved us at Prufrock Prep. We'd be in Olaf's clutches if it weren't for you."

"So I'm sure you know."

"What?" The basket slowly lifts off the ground.

"What friends are for."

The two triplets watch sadly as their friends leave back to the penthouse.

"Let's hope we make it to the top before the Squalors and Count Olaf get home from lunch."

"Can you smell smoke?" The three siblings look up, and realize the handkerchief has started to smoke, meaning it's going to start burning very soon. Sunny covers her ears.

"The handkerchief! The fabric is burning. The heat from the spyglass is too intense."

Klaus stutters. "Well what do we do?"

"I just need to moderate the temperature. It has to be hot enough to rise but not so hot that it burns."

"That sounds like a very specific amount of heat."

"How far from the top are we?"

"Not close enough."

"How high up from the ground are we?" Klaus looks down to see no sign of Duncan or Isadora. He looks back at Violet with an 'I literally can't tell' look. "I'm gonna fix this." Violet turns off the heat, and they stop mid-air. Then they start falling incredibly fast. Klaus immediately starts screaming, and Sunny covers her eyes.

"Come on. If I keep turning it on and off, it might stabilize." The heat turns back on, and they stop falling. Klaus stops screaming and Sunny opens her eyes. They start to float up again.

"Okay, okay, it's... it's working."

"If we maintain a consistent heat level, we should be able to make it to the penthouse."

"Sure. F-For a second there, I thought we were going-" The handkerchief explodes, and the Quagmires watch as the burning basket falls to the ground with not a single Baudelaire down there with the basket or the two triplets.

"Oh, I thought they were gonna fall back down here and be stuck with us forever until Count Olaf got all of us out of here."

"No, they must've known what they were doing. Violet's a genius, and so is Klaus. And Sunny, but nobody really knows except for them." Isadora reminds.

"Yeah, right, exactly, they'll be fine and they're gonna save us, of course." Duncan says with as much enthusiasm and hope as possible, though it just ended up sounding sarcastic.

Notes:

isadora is jealous bc shes in love with violet i dont make the rules

actually yes i do bc this is my fanfic

Chapter 29: Caligari Carnival (dunklaus)

Summary:

in which duncan and isadora were with the baudelaires at caligari carnival

Notes:

minor viodora bc i love them too much

hold on to smth bc jesus christ this chapter is long

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"...I am pleased to announce a brand-new attraction at Caligari Carnival."

The Baudelaire's, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, have disguised themselves as a two-headed human with a wolf-baby as their sibling. Violet's fake name is Beverly, Klaus's fake name is Elliot, and Sunny's fake name is Chabo.

Duncan and Isadora had the same idea, but it would seem suspicious, so they disguised themselves as people in the crowd, except they're pretending to be late.

Olivia Caliban has disguised herself as Madame Lulu, a fortune teller at the carnival, so Count Olaf would think that one of their parents survived the Baudelaire Fire when in reality, they didn't know if anyone else had survived.

"That is good news because this popcorn is super stale." A man in the audience says.

"It is good news, sir. This show is about to get a lot more entertaining, and not just because I'm back in it. Who here is familiar with the ancient art of sorcer-enary? Wait. Of sorcer-generarry? It means magic." Count Olaf gives up, waiting for Esme to correct him.

"Oh! Sorcery!" Esmé corrects. She chuckles. "You're trying to say sorcery."

"Yes! Sorcery!" He runs up beside her. "How right you are. I'm surprised that you could hear, girlie, with something being in your ear."

"What?" Count Olaf wiggles his fingers in an attempt to make it look like magic, and pulls a bouquet from behind her neck, even though he said it was in her ear. She gives a shocked look to the crowd.

"Oh! Behold!"

"Astounding!" One of the twins working with Count Olaf says. "Incredible!" The other twins add.

"That's not that impressive. Maybe if it was doves." The man in the audience says.

"Really?" The flowers fall as if they've died. "Well, then how about this?" He pulls scarves tied together out of the man's jacket. "A scarf. Two scarves, three scarves-"

"Darling, you're scaring him." Esmé interjects.

"Alright, fine. Pop, one more. There's your dove. It's dead, thanks."

"Okay, that's a little impressive." The man says.

"You know what's a lot impressive? More impressive than seventeen scarves and a dead dove? Behold!" The sheet on the ground flies up, and everyone looks into a deep pit in the dirt with two lions inside. "A pit of starving lions!" Everyone gasps, backing away. Klaus pulls Duncan closer, proving he's even more scared than what he claimed later on.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have a very special surprise for you. Lions are carnivorous, which means they eat meat."

"That's not a surprise." The man says.

"Everybody knows that." The woman the man is holding close says.

"But these lions have not been given any meat at all. Not a single drop of food. They're starving."

"That seems cruel."

"And not much of a show, either."

"Come back tomorrow, Mr. Heckler-man, when we will randomly select one freak from the House of Freaks and we will watch as the lions devour them."

Count Olaf's troupe was excited and wasn't hiding it at all, the other people in the House of Freaks were scared, and the crowd was both horrified and excited. Esmé was trying to hide her glee, while Olivia was trying to fake being gleeful. Of course, the two triplets and the Baudelaire's were terrified, but Violet was always good at finding something useful, usually at a bad time.


"I saw your face at the lion pit. You've got a solution." Klaus whispers to Violet.

"The tagliatelle grande."

"You mean the giant noodle Count Olaf uses as a whip?"

"But I can use it as a fan belt to repair the engine on the rollercoaster. We can fix it when tonight when everybody's sleeping."

"Dinner's ready." Kevin, the ambidextrous man, says. "You may as well enjoy it. It could be the last tom kha gai you ever eat."

"Tom kha who?" Colette, the contortionist, asks.

"It's a soup common to Thailand, made from a chicken, vegetables, fancy mushrooms, fresh ginger, coconut milk, and water chestnut." Klaus answers as Elliot.

"Chabo grated ginger with her wolf teeth. For a feral monster, very helpful in the kitchen. If she wasn't a freak, she could grow up to be an excellent chef."

"She's gonna be an excellent chef anyway." Violet says as Beverly.

"Not if she's eaten by lions."

"I admit, I am not crazy about this devouring plan. But the visitors to the carnival were excited, so it's good for business." Hugo, the man with a hunchback, says.

"Everybody loves violence." Colette adds.

"Especially when it's combined with sloppy eating."

"That's not a dilemma. None of you should jump to your death just to entertain a crowd."

"There are better things to do with your life than get eaten at a carnival."

"Like what?" Colette asks as if she's never had a chance to do anything normal, which she probably hasn't.

"Like, literally anything." Klaus sighs. "Y'all never know when an opportunity will knock."

Suddenly, there's knocking at the door. "Open up, freaks." Esmé demands as she knocks even louder. Hugo gets up to open the door. "Hurry up. I want to talk to you."

"I'm hurry upping, Ms. Squalor." Hugo says. "Let's all be on our best behavior. It's not every day a normal person wants to talk to us."

"We'll be good. I won't bend into a single strange position." As she says 'into', her arm pops up, and she pushes it down.

"I'll only use my left hand. No, wait. My right- my left." Hugo opens the door, and there stands Esmé Squalor with a banner wrapped around her that says 'I HEART FREAKS" with the heart being a red heart shape and the tagliatelle grande hanging from it.

"I'm Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, and as you can see from my gown, I love freaks."

"That's so nice of you." Kevin says.

"Yes, it is." She waves her hand at Colette to get out of her chair. "I had this gown made especially to show how much I love them. Just see the stuffed animal on my shoulder, like a hunchback and this creepy little face it's like I have two heads."

"Well, you certainly look very freakish." Colette says.

"Course I'm not really a freak. I'm a normal person. But I wanted to show you all how much I admire you. In fact, I admire you so much, I consider you more than employees at a carnival I happen to be visiting. I consider you to be some of my closest friends."

"Oh, Esmé, do you really mean it?" Colette asks.

"Of course I mean it. I'd rather be here with you than with the finest people in the world."

"Wow, I've never had a normal person call me a friend before." Kevin says.

"Well, that's what you are. You're all my freaky friends. And it makes me terribly sad to think that one of you will be eaten by lions tomorrow. I have real tears in my eyes thinking about it."

"Well, there, there, close friend, don't be sad." Hugo goes to put his hand over Esmé's but she slaps it away.

"I can't help it. But I have an opportunity for you all that might make us all very, very happy."

"An opportunity? Well, we were just saying that an opportunity could come along at any minute!" Hugo motions towards everyone.

"Well, that's completely true. Gather around the fire. I'll tell you about it."


Kevin chops wood in half with both hands.

"Now that we've split these logs and started this fire like you asked, what's this opportunity you're talking about?"

"Tonight, I am offering you all the chance to quit your jobs at the House of Freaks, and join Count Olaf and myself in his troupe." Esmé gasps in delight.

"Do you really think the normal man like him would want to work with freaks like us?" Colette asks happily.

"Of course he would! Count Olaf doesn't care whether you're hideously freakish or normal, as long as you obey his every whim beyond all reason."

"Wow! What an opportunity!" Hugo gasps.

"I had a hunch you'd be excited. No offense, Hugo."

"None taken."

"If you're interested, all you have to do is one simple task. Commit a murder."

Klaus is about to interject when Kevin says, "Okay, sounds good."

"Did you just say-" Colette starts before Esmé interrupts her.

"Now tomorrow during the lion show, Count Olaf will choose one freak to jump into the pit. But I want whomever is chosen to throw Madame Lule in instead."

Hugo stutters. "You mean you want us to murder Madame Lulu?"

"Think of it as a dramatic exercise to show Count Olaf you're brave enough to join his troupe."

"Throwing Madame Lulu into a pit of lions doesn't strike me as brave." Violet says.

"Just vicious and cruel." Klaus adds.

"How can it be vicious and cruel to give people what they want? You want to join Count Olaf's troupe, the crowd wants to see someone eaten by lions, and I want Madame Lulu thrown into the pit."

"When she puts it like that it doesn't sound so bad." Kevin says.

"Tomorrow, one of you will have the exciting opportunity to give everybody what they want!" Esmé says happily.

"Why would you want Madame Lulu thrown to the lions?" Violet asks.

"Oh, you'll understand when you're older. Maybe not you." Esmé looks down at Sunny. "Is there something wrong? I just offered you a job, which was very generous of me."

"It is very generous, Ms. Squalor. I just don't feel comfortable throwing Madame Lulu to the lions." Violet says.

"As her other head, I agree." Sunny growls at her. "Chabo agrees, too."

"I bet Chabo only half agrees. I bet her wolf half can't wait to see Madame Lulu get eaten by lions. I know I'm excited." Kevin says.

"Me, too."

"I really want to join Count Olaf."

"Well, maybe you can convince your two-headed coworkers. Consider this. Maybe Madame Lulu doesn't deserve to get thrown to the lions. People don't always get what they deserve in this world. And who knows that better than the two of you? After all, you're freaks. I'll let you sleep on it." Esmé waves them all goodbye and walks away. While she walks away, Sunny grabs the noodle from her.

"Nice work, Sunny."


Even though the Baudelaire's were told to sleep on it, they couldn't sleep. Klaus was used to having Duncan by his side, and Violet was used to having Isadora next to her. Now that they're both waiting outside the carnival to seem like they've gone home when they have no home to go to, it's one of the reasons they can't sleep. Another reason is the rollercoaster. So they decide to get up and fix it.

"It's pretty run-down. This won't be easy." Violet reaches into her pocket, yet pulls out nothing.

"What is it?"

"The ribbon Sunny made out of the hospital bracelet. I can't find it."

"Uh..." Klaus looks around and notices their costume on the ground. He pulls one of the strings out of the jacket. "Will this work?" Violet takes the string and ties her hair up.

"Sunny, untangle the ivy. Klaus, get me a pair of pliers and a half-inch wrench. I'm gonna take a look at this engine." Klaus grabs the needed tools while Sunny pulls the ivy off. Violet pulls the duck's head off to look at the engine, and it loudly squeaks, but the lions roaring covers the sound. It wasn't the roaring lions that got the Quagmire's attention, it was the rollercoaster.

"The lions aren't sleeping."

"They don't sound ferocious, just sad."

"And hungry." Sunny adds.

"I feel sorry for them. They don't deserve to be starved all day for entertainment."

"Esmé was right about one thing. People don't always get what they deserve, and neither do lions."

"I just can't understand why Hugo, Colette, and Kevin would wanna join people that do wicked things."

"Maybe they're happy someone's treating them like normal people. Maybe that's why Count Olaf's troupe works for him. They don't think they have anywhere else to go."

"Then we're lucky. We know where we're going." The siblings look over at the mountains. That was when Klaus and Violet saw Duncan and Isadora.

"What're you doing?" Isadora asks.

"Fixing the rollercoaster so we can leave. It can get us out of here if it's fixed." Violet answers.

"You're going to ride the rollercoaster all the way to the mountains?" Duncan asks in disbelief.

"Olivia will be with us. She's bringing food for the journey there. We just have to wait for the next Madame Lulu to get here."

"Olivia, like the school librarian?" Isadora asks for confirmation.

"Yes. She works for VFD and she's the way we can get out of here. She has the book we need to know about VFD."

"I'm still confused on how fixing the rollercoaster is getting you out of here."

"This place is run-down, and the next Madame Lulu would probably want the place to look better so she can get more people to come to the carnival. And then we can take the car to get out of here, and the next Madame Lulu will come back with the car and take the other person's place as Madame Lulu."

"You guys should focus. Come on, Duncan. Let's wait outside the carnival." Isadora starts to pull him away.

Klaus grabs Duncan's wrist, preventing either of them from going anywhere. "You can stay. As long as you're gone before the carnival opens."

"I'm willing to stay."

Isadora sighs. "Fine. But we will be out of here before sundown. I don't care how much you love Klaus, I'm not letting any of us get caught again."

"Yes, ma'am." Isadora glares at him. "Sorry. We'll be out before sundown." Isadora smiles.

"Thank you. Hi, Violet." Isadora hugs her.

Of course, Violet hugs her back. "Hi, Isadora."

Once the Quagmires have walked off, going to explore some more, the Baudelaire's get back to work.

"Sunny, you think you can shorten this noodle?" Sunny bites the noodle, although she would prefer something much better than a flimsy noodle.


Klaus holds the light as Violet pushes herself under the cart. She puts the noodle over the gears in replacement and turns on the engine. The lights turn on.

"Nice job!" Sunny babbles.

"Well done."

"Thank you. The engine should be powerful enough to get us all the way to the mountains."

"Will it be able to hold the weight of Madame Lulu's archival library?"

"Let's test it and find out." The three Baudelaire's get into the cart. "Riding a rollercoaster is the sort of activity normal children do. Here we go."

She flips the switch to start the rollercoaster, and the cart starts to move. They go over a small hill and take a turn and the ride stops.

As they leave the rollercoaster, they see Olivia, Madame Lulu, leave her tent as well.

"Going somewhere?" Count Olaf steps in front of them. Olivia cuts in, pretending to be Madame Lulu to get the attention off of them.

"Oh, there you are, my Olaf. You are so early. Spirits still sleeping, like lazy goat. Why don't you go get breakfast wine spritzer with that Esmé lady, and come back in, say, an hour? Yes. Spirits will be ready for big fortune-telling show then."

"I won't need a fortune-telling show this morning Lulu."

"You don't?"

"No. Things are different now. Plans have changed. I've got my own show now. And look, the early crowd arrives. Right this way to the lion pit, folks! You too." Count Olaf pushes the Baudelaire's right in front of the Quagmire's. "Step this way for violence and sloppy eating!"

"Has anyone seen the boss's giant noodle?"


"Look, Mrs. Bass. Freaks!"

"Don't say my name out loud! I'm on the lam."

"Sorry, I'm just very excited. The Daily Punctilio says 'One of these freaks will be eaten!'."

"I sure hope so. I haven't had any fun since I robbed that bank. Oh, I'm starving for entertainment."

Mr. Poe walks into the stands with a bag of popcorn. "I hear the lions are starving, too. What was that about a bank?" Mrs. Bass looks down at her bag of money and doesn't answer Mr. Poe.

The crowd starts clapping as Count Olaf walks out. The light is shined on him and he stumbles, but he stands up on the stool and puts on an act as if it never happened.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I think that this may be the most exciting day of your entire lives. Welcome, welcome, welcome... to the Caligari Carnival's Big Top Finale!" The crowd claps again. "Thank you. I am your ringmaster, Count Olaf, but a different Count Olaf than the one you've read about in the papers, who is dead."

"How incredible! Who knew there were so many counts with one eyebrow named Olaf?"

"We're both very handsome. But enough about me. Ladies and gentlemen, inside this pit, are two starving lions. And standing beside said pit are five delicious freaks!"

"I'm glad this is my last day in these clothes." Hugo says.

"Just think soon I'll be part of Count Olaf's troupe!" Colette says with way too much happiness.

"Are you really gonna push Madame Lulu into the pit?" Klaus asks.

"Are you kidding? I'll do anything if it means never having to look like a freak again." Kevin answers.

"Look closely at all these freaks." Count Olaf walks in front of each person.

"My boyfriend is not a freak." Duncan whispers to Isadora, emphasizing the word 'not'.

"Pretend like he is. We can't blow their cover or ours."

"Observe Hugo's hideous hump. Cackle at Colette's cockamamie contortions. Giggle at the absurdity of Kevin's ambidextrous arms. Snicker at Beverly and Elliot, the two-headed freak. Laugh so hard you can hardly breathe at Chabo the Wolf-Baby."

"I hope it's that man with sores."

"Or the woman with the bag of money." The two giggle.

"I am not a freak. I'm a member of the audience. I have a dermatological condition."

"And this isn't a bag of money. Uh, these are algebra quizzes." Mrs. Bass lies.

"Well, I don't care who it is. I just hope this circus has clowns. I like the sad ones." Mr. Poe says though he looks like the person that would be terrified of clowns.

Count Olaf does a spin on the stool and almost falls off, but catches his balance. "Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the choosing ceremony to commence. The names of each and every freak have been written down on small pieces of paper, folded up, and placed inside the box that this lovely young lady is holding." Olivia holds up the box.

"I don't think she's particularly lovely." Esmé says. 

"Play along. We'll think of something." Olivia whispers to the two Baudelaire's.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I will reach inside the box, pull out one piece of paper, unfold it, and read the name of the freak out loud. Then that freak will then walk down this wooden plankway, jump into the pit, and we'll all watch as the lions eat him." The audience cheers.

"Or her." Esmé adds.

"Or her. Before we begin, does anyone have any questions?"

"Why do you get to pick the name from the box?"

"Because it was my idea."

"Question. Is this legal?" A little boy asks.

"What- Don't spoil the fun, boy. If you're going to ask a bunch of complicated questions, you might as well wait in my car. Ladies and da-da-da, I am now reaching my hand inside the box. I am pulling out one piece of paper, which I will unfold very slowly, to increase the suspense."

"A grown man, unfolding paper. Amazing." Mr. Poe says.

"I learned how to amaze crowds by working extensively in regional theater." The crowd cheers. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am now unfolding the first fold in the piece of paper." The audience gasps.

"I feel morally queasy." One of Count Olaf's troupe members says. "It could also be from eating this hot dog I found on the ground."

"I have just unfolded the second fold in the piece of paper! There are only... fi... four more folds left!"

"Is this gonna be scary?" The little boy's sister asks.

"Don't worry, little Trixie. This was advertised as family entertainment. I'm sure who's ever eaten by lions is someone who deserves it."

"No one deserves to get eaten by lions." Klaus says.

"Except maybe Count Olaf." They both look at each other. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I don't like what I'm thinking but I'm thinking it."

"I did one more fold, and that was the last fold! What does it..." Count Olaf gasps. "Ladies and gentlemen, today's lucky freak proves that two heads are better than one. Beverly and Elliot, step on up." The audience claps and cheers.

"It's a wicked thing to do."

"What choice do we have?" The two walk up to the stools.

"Thank you, Count Olaf. We're thrilled to be chosen." Violet says as Beverly.

"You're welcome. Now, jump into that pit so we can all watch you get devoured by lions." The crowd cheers and claps. They walk onto the board, Violet first and then Klaus. They stand on the edge of the plank, looking down at the lions.

"What's the problem?"

"My other head and I were thinking."

"Thinking with both heads."

"Instead of watching a freak jump into the lion pit, wouldn't it be more exciting-" Violet starts.

"-To watch a freak get pushed into said lion pit." Klaus finishes.

"This would be much more violent, please." Olivia says as Madame Lulu, trying to act excited for their death. 

"Yes. I'd like to see that two-headed freak thrown into the lions." Mrs. Bass says.

"I agree. I'd like to see someone pushed into the pit." Esmé adds, and the crowd cheers in agreement.

"And who, pray tell, do you imagine performing such a dangerous job."

"Well, we were thinking you."

"After all, you are the star of the show."

"That's true. I'd like to see the ringmaster throw that freak into that pit!" The crowd agrees by cheering.

"With pleasure." Count Olaf walks up onto the board, but when the lions roar at him, he jumps away in fear. "I am deeply honored to have been asked, but I'm afraid I couldn't possibly go any further than here."

"Why not?"

"I... I'm allergic to cats."

"Really?"

Count Olaf holds his finger under his nose as if he's stopping himself from sneezing.

"Wow! I didn't even know you had allergies, boss."

"I have an idea! Madame Lulu, why don't you walk down the plank and throw the freak to its death?" Esmé asks, gesturing to Olivia.

"Of course! After all, Madame Lulu is the reason we're all here today. What do you think, violence fans?" The crowd cheers.

"Let's see Madame Lulu throw Beverly and Elliot into the pit!"

"Hit her with something! That'll get her moving!" Mrs. Bass yells.

"That will not be necessary, please."

"I'm positively gasping with suspense." Mr. Poe says.

Olivia walks up to the Baudelaires with a sad look.

"What do we do?" Violet asks, voice breaking.

Olivia shrugs. "I don't know."

"Stop whispering."

"We're increasing suspense."

"The suspense has been increased enough. This is the moment we've all been waiting for. If Madame Lulu is not brave enough to do it herself, then whoever volunteers will get a special reward."

"I'm brave enough! So are Kevin and Colette!"

"Freaks that are brave? Don't be ridiculous."

"We are brave! Count Olaf, let us prove it to you, and then you can employ us."

"Employ you?"

"Oh, what a wonderful idea!"

"I'll do it!" Hugo starts to run, but Colette pulls on his jacket and stops him.

"No, I'll do it!"

"No, I'll do it! With both hands!"

"I'll do it! I don't want a freak like you for a coworker!" The hook-handed man runs up to Kevin and they start to fight. Everyone piles upon each other, fighting over who gets to push the Baudelaires into the pit.

"I'll do it for Esmé!"

"I should get that reward. I've been living on a teacher's salary."

"I don't even care who gets eaten, I just want to feel alive!"

"I never knew this show involved audience participation."

"I can't wait anymore!"

"I'm about ready to push someone myself!"

"Trust me." Olivia whispers, and she pushes the Baudelaires.

Everyone freezes and the Quagmires stand up. Isadora has her hand over her mouth and Duncan is on the verge of tears.

When the Baudelaires land on the other side of the pit, the Quagmires run to help them.

"No-" Count Olaf cuts himself off with a gasp.

"Go!" Olivia yells.

"But- but-" Violet starts.

"I'm right behind you. I've been behind you all along. Go!" Olivia turns around, and the Quagmires help the Baudelaires leave safely, Sunny trailing behind them.

"You're no fortune-teller. You're that school librarian!"

"I'm more than that. I'm a volunteer." Olivia holds up the spyglass that all the VFD members have.

"Well, thank you for volunteering. Now it's time for your special reward." Count Olaf cuts the rope that ties the board above the lion pit. Olivia falls in, screaming, and the lion's roar as they tear her apart and eat her alive.

"I always thought it would be entertaining to see someone eaten by lions, but that was..."

"Horrifying."

"Terrifying."

"Messy."

"That could've been me." The hook-handed man says.

"It could've been any of us." The henchperson responds.

"I want to go home." The girl says.

"Me, too." Her brother adds on.

The Baudelaires and Quagmires turn around to look at the tent as they hear the scream. Isadora almost stops walking, Duncan starts crying, Klaus almost trips trying to comfort his boyfriend while still in the costume, and Violet picks up Sunny to get them away from any crowd that might come out.

"That sounded like-"

"Olivia." Violet cuts him off accidentally but finished his sentence for him.

The five of them enter Madame Lulu's tent, looking for anything useful.

"If she's dead, then it's our fault. It was our idea to push Count Olaf."

"We can't think about that now. We have to get out of here."

The Quagmires help the Baudelaires get the costume off. They all walk around, getting everything they need for the journey to the mountains.

"The book." They all set down what they were holding and crowd around Klaus. "Olivia promised she'd find it for us."

"She was a great person, and a great librarian."

Count Olaf's muffled voice pierces through the silence. "The show's not over yet."

"Count Olaf." The Baudelaires put the costume back on, and the Quagmires hide.

"What are you cowards doing here?" Esmé asks tauntingly as Esmé and Count Olaf push the beads out of the way.

"They might be cowards, but I'm prepared to offer them a place in my troupe anyway."

"That's very kind of you to offer Count Olaf, but you don't want cowards like us in your troupe."

"Sure we do. You never know when you might lose an associate. Just look at Madame Lulu."

"Besides, you don't have a choice. We're burning down this carnival starting with that rickety rollercoaster. See for yourself." Count Olaf opens the tent flap and they all light up with an orange glow.

"No-" Violet is cut off by Esmé's laugh.

"You see if you don't join us, where can you possibly go?"

"Where are you going?" Count Olaf notices the paper Klaus was clutching.

"Oh, hello. Give-" Count Olaf rips the map away from Klaus. "I haven't seen one of these in years."

"A small brown stain? You saw that this morning."

"Coded stain."

"Oh."

"It's to mark a secret location without anyone else noticing. And this stain happens to mark the secret location of VFD headquarters. I haven't been there in years. Not since that masked ball where I failed to push a woman in a dragonfly costume off a cliff. Who knew those wings actually worked?" Count Olaf asks himself, completely off-topic.

"A map to the VFD headquarters?"

"Yes, that must be where the survivor of the fire is hiding. It seems like Madame Lulu gave us one last answer after all."

"I'm really going to miss her." Esmé says with fake sadness.

"Well, pack your mittens, kitten. We're going to the Mortmain Mountains. I wonder if Lulu left anything else useful here." Count Olaf looks around.

"I don't see anything useful." Klaus says, trying to hide the tapes and the Quagmires.

"I think you're lying to me."

"My other head is telling the truth."

"Well, then what is that box of food doing there? Don't you think food would be useful on a long journey?"

Sunny growls and Count Olaf backs up.

"Chabo compliments you on your cleverness. We hadn't noticed it."

"Well, that's why I'm the boss, and I boss you to carry that crate to my car. But first, I want you to light this tent on fire."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. You're with us now, freaks. Really light this tent on fire. Really destroy all these papers and notes and the rest of Madame Lulu's boring clutter, and then really meet me at the car when you're done. Chabo, you're coming with me."

Count Olaf goes to pick Sunny up, but she growls at him and he backs up again.

"Chabo would prefer to stay with us."

"I could care less what Chabo would prefer. I am the man in charge here, not this feral little monster. Come- Just stop- Stop growling!"

Sunny continues to growl at Count Olaf until Esmé steps in front.

"Nice wolfie." Sunny stops growling, and Esmé picks her up and takes her away.

"You know, you're lucky that there are so many books and films here. They're highly flammable. Burn this tent down, and then you can join that little wolf baby in my acting troupe." Count Olaf holds up the torch and clicks the lighter on. "It's time to take up the torch." Violet takes the torch and Klaus takes the lighter.

Count Olaf walks out, and the Quagmires take the chance to run out of the tent and into the cart next to the car without being seen.

"We're not going anywhere with Olaf."

"He already has Sunny, and he burned our ride out of here. And riding with him is the only way to get to the mountains."

"If we set that fire, we're as bad as he is." Klaus says, staring at the fire coming from the lighter, and he shuts the lighter.

"If we don't, we'll never find out if one of our parents survived."

"I know just how you feel. My first time was hard, too. Let me help you with that." He takes the lighter from Klaus and the torch from Violet, makes them hold onto the torch, and then he clicks the lighter on and sets the torch aflame. He holds it up to The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations and the cover burns. Soon, the pages burn with it. "Get the food." The Baudelaires pick up the crate, and Count Olaf throws the torch down when they leave.

The tent goes up in flames, and Count Olaf walks up to the Baudelaires, helping them put the food in the caravan.

"You two can ride in the gift caravan. We're going to attach it and pull it behind us. With so many new recruits, we're getting mighty crowded."

"Ow, your hooks are hurting me." Kevin complains as the hook-handed man shoves him into the trunk.

"Just get in the trunk, freak!" He yells.

"Okay."

"I know a knot called the Devil's Tongue. It might hold better. I can tie it."

"That's a relief. I have no idea what I'm doing." The henchperson gets up, drops the rope, and closes the trunk.


They drive away from the carnival as it burns to the ground.

"Here we are, riding off into the sunset."

"It's the middle of the afternoon."

Count Olaf rolls his eyes. "That's not the point."


"The point is, we are going to be very, very rich. And the surviving Baudelaires are about to be very, very dead."

The Quagmires and Baudelaires are together in the cart, with Violet and Isadora together at the window. Klaus and Duncan sitting together on the floor, with Duncan sobbing onto Klaus's shoulder while Klaus comforts his boyfriend.

"Do you think Sunny will be okay with Count Olaf?" Isadora asks.

"Nobody's okay with Count Olaf." Violet answers. "But it's only until we reach the mountains. As soon as we're together again, we'll find a way to escape and get to the headquarters."

"What do you think we'll find there?"

Violet doesn't answer her, and the two continue to stare out of the window.

The walkie-talkie squeaks and Count Olaf's voice comes through.

"Beverly, Elliot, press the red button and speak to me."

"We're here." Violet responds.

"Look out the window."

"We are."

"The other window."

Klaus stands up, putting the costume back on. The Baudelaires walk up to the window that faces the car. The trunk opens, and Hugo and Colette hold up a knife, and Kevin holds up two. They start to cut the rope while Count Olaf makes a very dramatic speech.

"Stop! No!"

"What are you doing?! Stop it!"

Klaus and Violet shake the doorknob while Isadora looks around, panicking and Duncan starts screaming to 'cut it out' because he's 'already stressed and terrified'.

"I didn't need a fortune-teller to tell me where the Baudelaire brats were hiding. I'd figured that out all by myself. So allow me to tell you your future. A great deal of suffering and pain and then a long fall to rock bottom. Do you know what that feels like? Cause I do. Things are looking up for me. I'm cutting all ties with my past failures. Get it? Get it, because I'm actually cutting the rope that you tied-"

"I'm sure they get it, darling."

The rope is cut, and Hugo, Colette, and Kevin get back into the trunk.

"Goodbye, Baudelaires." Count Olaf and Esmé wave to them mockingly, and the caravan stops.

They're convinced they're fine until the cart starts moving back rapidly. Klaus and Violet fall back, ripping the costume in two.

"Sunny!" The Baudelaires both scream as Sunny desperately looks out the window of the car.

"Down they go, into the belly of the beast." The troupe laughs, some of them happier than others.

"Klaus!" Klaus turns around at the sound of his name, seeing Duncan in the corner with his hands in his hair and tears falling from his eyes.

"Hey, Duncan, love, we'll be okay. Look at me, babe." Klaus grabs his shoulders, and Duncan looks up at him. "Come here." Duncan cries onto Klaus's shirt while Violet and Isadora scream for Sunny and panic to try and find a way to stop everything.

Notes:

this got angsty and was like most of the episode but whatever lol

also thanks grammarly for the autocorrection <3

Chapter 30: What Friends Are For (dunklaus+viodora)

Notes:

i love this pair of boyfriends theyre amazing

and this pair of girlfriends theyre amazing too

also some dialogue switch bc yeah

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The Quagmires and Baudelaires were in the cafeteria for lunch, though none of them were eating. The Baudelaire's were too exhausted to eat anything. Sunny was so tired she had fallen asleep with her head in her salad.

"You must be on your last leg, Baudelaires." Isadora says.

"I haven't been this exhausted since I stayed up all night with my first Tesla coil."

"At least you weren't late to class." The four look over at the table where every late kid sits, and they're all tied up, having to eat without using their hands.

"I've never flunked a test, but I got every measurement wrong." Klaus says sadly.

"Of course you flunked, Klaus. Count Olaf has been making you run laps every night."

"We're no closer to figuring out his scheme. It's like that luminous circle he made us paint is a giant glowing zero, and we know zero about it."

"Maybe he's hoping you'll be so sick of running, you'll hand over your fortune?"

"He's had stranger plans. If only the library weren't closed-"

"Cakesniffers talking about a library." Carmelita says 'library' wrong though, saying it as 'li-barry' and not 'library', and Violet sighs. "Is there anything less adorable?"

"Go away, Carmelita. We're not in the mood."

"But I'm here to deliver a special message to the Baudelaires." Carmelita starts to tap dance. "Vice Principal Nero wants to see you right away! Because he's very mad at you today. I'm the cutest girl in town and my name is Carmelita!" She sings.

"It doesn't rhyme." Isadora informs.

"Cakesniffers are all jealous of me because I'm C-U-T-T-E! Dancing and singing is my thing and my name is Carmelita!" She sings to Isadora, which makes her even more mad than before.

"None of this rhymes! Songs have to rhyme."

"There's twelve more verses!" Carmelita argues.

"We get the message!" Klaus snaps. Carmelita crosses her arms and walks away dramatically.

Klaus shakes Sunny awake, and the Baudelaires leave the table.

"I'll see you guys later." Violet waves goodbye to the Quagmires.


"Coach Genghis tells me that even after running laps for nine hours, you remain out of shape and winded. And your teachers say that you have flunked quizzes in personal anecdotes and measuring random objects. And finally, don't even get me started on Sunny's employee evaluation. I couldn't be more disgusted if I had written it myself!"

"You did write it yourself."

" 'You did write it yourself.' Luckily your new gym teacher has a solution. Jim." Count Olaf walks in front of Nero, taking his place from him.

"Let me tell you a story." Count Olaf says as Coach Genghis. Klaus groans quietly, obviously showing that not a single Baudelaire in the room cared. "Homeschooling."

"What?" Violet asks in complete disbelief.

"Homeschooling. It means staying at home, sitting at your kitchen table, instead of clogging up a classroom." Nero says, as if they had no clue what 'homeschooling' meant.

"Vice Principal Nero, Mr. Poe specifically placed us at Prufrock Preparatory School."

"Mr. Poe wants us to stay here for at least a trimester."

"Keep your grades up, or I'll toss you three out on your ears."

"Your wealthy ears." Count Olaf adds.

"Tomorrow morning, your teachers will give you both more-or-less comprehensive exams in front of the whole school. And for Sunny, a professional reappraisal featuring a special sequence of demeaning menial tasks." 

"If you fail, it's off to Coach Genghis' Ultra-Dynamic Life-Ending Workshop." Count Olaf chuckles.

"We'll pass those exams."

"Of course we will. Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to study in our shack."

"Well you don't have much time. You're due at the athletic field for Special Orphan Running Exercises in a matter of hours."

"We still have to run laps?"

"Of course. And it doesn't mean you'll be excused from the mandatory violin recital. Looks like more bags of candy for me!" The two adults chuckle.

"We can't study for comprehensive exams and run laps all night. We'd have to be two places at once." Violet says with disbelief that they could even think this was a good idea.

"Consider this a learning experience, orphans. It's important that you figure out the balance between academics and extracurricular activities."

Klaus sighs. "Listen to us. This man is-"

Count Olaf stands in front of the computer, and it says, "This is not Count Olaf."

"Oh, goodness, how careless of me. Now, what is it you were saying?"


"Violet, Count Olaf is waiting for us at sundown." Violet ignores him, sitting quietly and thinking. "We don't have much time." Violet ignores Klaus again. "Violet, I said we don't have much-"

"I think I've got it."

"We're listening."


"Coast is clear."

The Baudelaires and Quagmires enter the cafeteria. Duncan and Isadora stand by the doors while Sunny, Klaus and Violet look around.

Klaus sets Sunny down on the ground. "Find some glasses."

Violet pulls the decoration off the cake stand. "This'll work."

"These'll come in handy." Klaus holds up a pair of gloves.

"We need something for the body." They walk around, looking for something to use as a body. "Flour." Violet says, and the two look at the bags of flour.

"Perfect."

The back door opens, and shoes tap as they enter the room. Sunny, Klaus and Violet hide behind the salad bar while Duncan and Isadora run behind some shelves in the corner.

Carmelita enters, and she runs up to the cake Violet took the decoration from. She jumps up trying to look to see what cake it was. When she realizes she can't see it, she grabs a bucket and uses it as a step stool. She opens the container, and smells the cake. She then drops her face into the cake, and then pulls it away with a sigh.

She makes some concerning noises, almost sounding like she had eaten something that had gone bad. The Baudelaires could already tell that the Quagmire's were laughing at this, but they were laughing as well.

Carmelita closes the container and runs off, shutting the door quietly.

The Baudelaires left their hiding spot to grab everything and leave the cafeteria.

Their next stop was the library.

Once they're inside the library, they start making a fake Sunny. Isadora sits in front of Violet, and Duncan sits in front of Klaus.

Sunny holds the makeshift glasses up to her eyes, and then starts biting them to make them become glasses. When she's finished, she puts them on to make sure they won't break.

"I'm impressed you know how to pick a lock."

"You'd be surprised how often it comes in handy. This knot's called the Devil's Tongue. It was invented by female Finnish pirates in the 15th century."

"How do I look?" Violet looks up at her, and she smiles at her.

"Different. Which is good. I mean, not that you didn't look good... before. I mean, you do- you did- do look..." Violet trails off, trying to think of something to help her.

"Sunny, how are those glasses coming?" Klaus asks, looking down at Sunny and completely stopping Violet from saying anything else that could embarrass her even more. Sunny holds them up, and Klaus takes them from her.

"You guys can still back out now. We can find another way to pass the test."

"Look, my sister and I won't-"

"Shh!" Violet cuts him off. The door rattles.

"We'd better hurry."

"Us too."

The four stand up, feeling like they're ready for this plan to work.

"I have this feeling like we're never going to see you again." Klaus sighs.

"You could just go back to your broom closet and forget all about this."

Isadora shakes her head. "Is that what your parents would do?"

"Well, our parents aren't here."

"I bet they taught you the same thing our parents taught us."

"What?" Klaus asks as the other two look over at them.

"What friends are for."

"We have to be careful sneaking out. So you guys go first, and we'll wait 'til it's clear."

Violet nods, and Klaus walks up to Duncan.

"Duncan, you'll need these."

Klaus holds out the glasses. Duncan takes them from him and puts them on. "Perfect."

Klaus smiles at him, and after just looking at him for a few seconds, obviously thinking about something, his mind just tells him to 'just go for it', so he does.

He grabs Duncan's wrist and pulls him into a kiss. Duncan freezes, but once he processes what was happening, he kisses him back. 

"And Isadora, take this. Keep it." Violet holds out the spyglass, and Isadora takes it from her. "If anything goes wrong, you might need a spyglass."

"I don't think anything will go wrong. We'll see you Baudelaires before long." Isadora kisses her cheek, and Violet blushes and looks at the ground.

Klaus and Violet leave the two triplets to wait to leave to the athletics field.

"What was that?" Klaus asks, snickering.

"A couplet. What was that?"

"Love, obviously."

Notes:

idk how i feel abt this but whatever i dont update other books bc im fucking tired and school is stupid and is kicking my ass so ill post some oneshots until i find motivation to write better

Chapter 31: Learning Ballet (billyxmichael)

Notes:

i would write the accent but im too tired so no <3

also theyre aged up to like 14 even tho this scene takes place when theyre eleven

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun..." Billy finishes the snowman's face and brushes the snow off of his hands. "Fucking great Christmas this has been."

Michael takes out a bottle of beer. "Go on, have some."

"Where'd you get it?" Billy asks.

"My dad's got loads in the kitchen." Michael answers.

"Won't he notice?" Billy questions.

Michael shrugs. "He never knows how much is there."

Billy takes a sip and immediately spits it out.

"Tastes like piss!" He hands the bottle back to him.

"You get used to it." Michael puts the cap back on. "Here." He puts it in the inside pocket of Billy's coat. Billy takes the bottle out and puts it on the other side of his jacket.

"Maybe you could run away or something. You know, join a dancing troupe."

Billy crosses his arms. "Don't be so stupid!"

"Well, maybe it's all for the best."

"What do you mean?" Billy rubs his hands together to try and warm them up before shoving them into his jacket.

"You won't have to go away or nothing."

Billy holds out his hands. "My hands are freezing."

"Give 'em here." Michael grabs his wrists and puts Billy's hands inside his jacket. Since the inside of his jacket was wool, his hands started to warm up. Even though he enjoyed this, he still looked at him in suspicion.

"What are you doing?" Billy asks though he didn't actually mind.

"Nothing. Just warming your hands up."

"You're not a poof or aught?" Billy's almost 100% sure he knows Michael is. He wouldn't be lying if he said he wasn't one, either.

"What gave you that impression?"

"Aren't my hands cold?" Billy changes the topic, knowing he couldn't answer saying 'Just had a feeling' or 'I just knew'.

"I quite like it," Michael admits, and Billy knows for a fact that he means having his hands on his waist than the cold.

Michael suddenly breaks eye contact, looking like something's bothering him since he can't make eye contact anymore.

Before Billy can even ask what's wrong, Michael has leaned in and kissed his cheek.

A light red spreads on his cheeks, and Billy smiles. "Just cause I like ballet... doesn't mean I'm a poof, you know."

"Y-You- You won't tell anyone, will you?"

Billy stares at him before smiling. "Come on." Michael watches him walk away before quickly following.


They enter the gym, which is used for both boxing and ballet now, and Billy turns on the lights.

"It's fucking freezing in here."

Billy runs up to him with a smile and a tutu. "Here."

Billy pushes it into his crossed arms, and Michael takes it. "What's this?"

"Just put it on." And with that Billy walks away.

"A tutu," Michael says in realization.

Billy plays a record, and the record plays classical music on a piano.

"Plié, first." Billy shows him, and Michael copies as best as he can. Their hand's touch.

"What's a plié?" Michael asks.

"It's French." Billy moves Michael's arms up over his head.

"Why's it French?"

"I don't know." Billy moves Michael's arms out. "Second." Billy tips his chin up. "Like a princess." Michael smiles at this.

Billy moves his arms to the correct position. "Second, and down. And first. Carry on. Fifth. Shoulders down," Billy pushes his shoulders down gently, "long neck." Billy runs his hands up the back of Michael's neck.

"How do I look?"

"Shut up, you poof."

"Fuck off."

"Second, and down. And first. Fifth. Second." Billy gets distracted by a rope, and he untangles it from the boxing ring's barrier.

"Down. First. Fifth."


"Give us your hand."

Billy holds his hand out, his grip on the rope tighter than before, and Michael takes it. He pulls Billy across the gym before letting go of his hand and letting him get off the rope.

"Dance!" Billy twirls around the room. He stops when he's face-to-face with his dad, Jackie.

Michael pulls the tutu off and kicks it away at the sight of someone walking in. Thankfully, when Jackie looks over at him, he's staring back at him.

Jackie looks back at his son, who's glaring at him. He rubs his face with both of his hands. Neither of the boys can tell if he's tired or done with Billy.

Billy, incredibly pissed off, starts tap-dancing. His father watches in confusion while Michael watches with admiration. Billy starts dancing and twirling around the room.

The second he stops in front of Jackie, Jackie's walking out the door. Billy watches with sadness, but when Michael starts clapping for him, he smiles.

Billy runs out the door, chasing after his father.

"Dad!" Billy calls out to him, breathing heavily.

"Go home, son." Jackie starts jogging away from him.

"Hey, Billy-" Billy turns around, not even looking at who it is.

"Fuck off, would you?!" He stops yelling at the sight of Michael.

Michael doesn't make eye contact, he simply nods and walks off.

"Michael! Wait!" Michael doesn't stop for him. Billy sighs and runs after him.

Once Billy catches up to him, he grabs his wrist and pulls him closer to him. Michael stumbles but it stops him which is fine for Billy.

"Michael, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you. I was hoping it wasn't but it was and I didn't mean it, I thought you were my brother and I'm sorry, just... don't leave. Please."

Michael, who's been looking at Billy's shoes the entire time, looks up at him. He pulls the same trick on Billy that he pulled when he kissed his cheek. He stares at him before smiling.

The tension drains from Billy. He cups his cheeks in his hands and kisses him.

It was quick, but they're both smiling when he pulls away. Michael throws his arm over Billy's shoulders.

"Come on, you poof."

"Fuck off."

Notes:

ayy first billy/michael oneshot pog

Chapter 32: The Restaurant (mikeyxmouth)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The four boys drag their bikes up the hill, leaving them unseen at the top.

"Forget it!" Mouth throws his bike down.

"Come on! Gee, this better be it, Mikey."

"Shut up, Chunk."

They all stop and Mikey pulls out the doubloon. 

"Guys..."

"What?"

"I think I have a match. I'm sure of it! The lighthouse, the rock, and the restaurant all fit the doubloon. That must mean that the rich stuff is near the restaurant. So, wait a second." Mikey pulls out the map from his jacket. "Mouth, I'm gonna need you to translate the map cause I don't understand Spanish. Right here." Mikey points at the words.

"Alright, alright." Mouth takes the map from Mikey and reads the words in Spanish.

"What does that mean?"

"Ten times ten."

"Uh... hundred. Hundred."

"Yeah."

"Stretching feet to the nearest northern point."

"North... What's North? Which way's North?" Mikey and Chunk look around while Data pulls out a compass.

"And that's where you'll find the treat."

"The treat! The rich stuff!"

"The treat! The rich stuff! That's it!" Mouth repeats.

"North is that way." Data points North.

"So it's near the restaurant."


"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten..."

Data leads the group with Chunk behind him and Mikey and Mouth behind Chunk. Mikey's arm is around Mouth's shoulders while Mouth's arm is around Mikey's waist.

"Wait a minute, guys. There's somebody here."

"Sixty and another forty is an even one hundred right to the old restaurant. The rich stuff has gotta be there."

Chunk stutters. "I don't know about it, Mikey. Hey, it's getting late and... Hey, and that's a summer place. What's it doing open in the fall?"

"See, there's nothing to be scared of. See, there's already two customers who went inside the restaurant."

"Yeah yeah, but what if they're not customers? What if they're drug dealers?!"

"Drug dealers?" Data smacks Chunk, accidentally hitting him in the eye.

"Ah!" He covers his eye, though Mouth has already rushed over and covered it for him.

"Shh!" Mouth shushes him, trying to get the group to not be noticed.

"Did you see their clothes? Drug dealers wouldn't be caught dead in those polyester rags."


Mouth, Mikey, and Data walk to the restaurant while Chunk stays behind. Data leads the group again. Mikey has his arm around Mouth's shoulders and Mouth has his arm around Mikey's waist again.

"Eighty-five, eighty-eight-" The three boys stop walking as they're cut off by two gunshots.

"Mikey, Mikey, Mikey! Th-That sounded like gunshots! Not the big ones that you hear in war movies but gunshots, real ones. They're trying to kill us!"

"Geez, Chunk. Turn off your brain, alright?" Mikey snaps. "Someone probably dropped a pot."

"Yeah!"

"Yeah, j-just dropped a pot, it's okay!" The three walk away while Chunk continues to question them.

"A-A-Are you sure, Mikey? Because if you're sure I'm sure, you know. If it's just not the pots, and they might try to kill us. But- Mikey, they're gonna kill us! In fact-"

Mikey runs up to him, covering his mouth. "Shh! Chunk, shut up." Mikey whispers, snapping at him again. Mikey runs back to the group and goes back to holding Mouth's hand.

They walk around the side of the building, trying to find a way to see inside the building without actually going inside.

"Soda pop! Oh boy, am I thirsty!" Chunk runs up to the freezer and opens it to see nothing. "Damn it!" Chunk slams it closed.

"What's that?" Mouth asks as the group looks through the window.

"Come on, hurry up, hurry up. Francis!" Mikey takes a puff from his inhaler.

"Looks like the cook is carrying something to the kitchen or something."

"Yeah, food or- or something."

"Don't let them see us, guys."

Chunk drops down from the porch and walks up to a swinging wooden door that leads to the garage. He pushes it open and sees a car. The car has two tiny holes in the trunk.

"ORV. Bullet holes. Bullet holes!" Chunk runs up to the group as they enter the building. He grabs Data's jacket, frantically trying to explain without any words.

"Shh!" Chunk continues to point and wave at the garage. "Shut up, Chunk!" They pull him into the restaurant.

"This place is a summer restaurant? Looks like it hasn't been open for ten summers."

"How long you boys been at that window?"

They turn around when they hear "how long" from a woman who looks to be the age of a mother with grown adults as her children. Mikey grabs Mouth's arm, pulling him closer in fear. Data and Chunk hug each other. 

"L... Long enough to see you need about four hundred roach motels in this place." Mouth answers and Mikey is too scared to even say anything to his boyfriend.

They turn around at the sound of something metal being thrown on the floor, followed by a man yelling, "How the hell am I supposed to create with that Smithsonian piece of shit..." The man trails off at the sight of the four boys.

The man says something in Italian, and the woman responds with, "Jake, these boys are customers." Chunk nods frantically.

The man - now known as Jake - starts speaking in Italian again. The woman replies in Italian. Jake replies to her in Italian. "Uh, boys... you make yourselves comfortable, huh?" He pinches Chunk and Mikey's cheeks, and Mouth glares at him, pulling Mikey closer to himself. Jake notices and lets go.

Jake says something to the woman in Italian. "She's gonna cook you something."

"What do you want?" They all scream in fear as she grabs their shoulders.

"Lots of water."

"Water, water, water."

"Four waters. Is that all?"

"Y-Y-Yes."

"No." Mikey covers his mouth, not letting him say another word.

"Babe, shut up," Mikey mutters to him, and Mouth nods.

"I'll ask again. That's all?" The woman asks, walking towards them. They all back up.

"Yeah, yeah." Chunk whimpers like a puppy, completely terrified.

"Sit down!" The woman yells, and they all run to a seat. Chunk misses his seat and falls onto the floor. Mikey takes the time to get up and sit on his boyfriend's lap instead.

"Are you alright, Chunk?" Chunk doesn't respond, but when Data says, "Hey, guys," he gets on his knees to see Data leaning over the table.

"I know." Chunk whispers.

"What happened to the two guys in the polyester suits that came before us, what happened to them?"

"What is it? What? What is it? Spit it out." Mikey says to Chunk who's been whispering "I know" the entire time.

"Y-You guys, if-if we don't get outta here soon there's gonna," Mikey shushes him, "be some hostage crisis. Out in the garage, O-ORV, four-wheel drive, bullet holes the size of matzo ba-" Mouth cuts off Chunk's yelling by putting his hand over his mouth.

"Chunk, I'm starting to OD on all your bullshit stories."

"Yeah, shut up."

The woman sets some yellowish-orange-colored drinks on the table.

"Here's your water."

"Thank you, sir."

"Thank you, ma'am."

The woman hits Mikey's arm. "Uh, I-I mean ma'am!" He corrects himself loudly, terrified.

"This-" Mikey cuts him off again, putting his hand over his mouth.

"Is this water, ma'am?" Chunk asks.

"It's wet, ain't it? Drink it!" She yells, making them jump.

"Miss, where's the men's room, please?"

"Can't you hold it?"

"No."

"Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you wanna go to the bathroom in."

"Why not?" The woman asks in annoyance.

"Because they might have daddy long legs in 'em." Mikey tries to subtly shut him up, though it doesn't work.

"But I gotta go to the bathroom."

"Or dead things, Mikey, dead things. Killer dead things. Big. Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, please-"

"Lady, please!" Mikey begs.

"Downstairs, first door on the right."

"Oh, thank you. Thanks, ma'am."

"Stay to the right!"

"Please, Mikey, dead things!"

"Stay to the right!" The woman shouts again.

"I know it's to the right, thank you."

Mikey walks down the stairs, hitting a light on his way down. He pulls out the map, unrolling it.

"I know you're down here, One-Eyed Willy. You gotta be down here." He looks at the map, trying to figure out where to go. "I can feel it, One-Eyed Willy. I know you're down here." He takes a few steps down the hall and sees the bathroom. "Oh man, that stinks!"

He jumps at the sound of growling. He rolls the map up, walking down the hallway. "The hell was that?" There's more growling and then a man singing in Italian.

He walks up to the room and sees Jake holding a tray of food while singing to another man who's growling and yelling while covering his ears.

"What? What now? What? No, you're ruining it. You're ruining it. See the feast I made ya? Look at the feast I made ya. You wanna eat it? Here, have some. Come on. Go ahead, you'll get something. You don't leave me any choice! You don't leave me any choice! You're just like Mum and Francis. You never let me finish anything."

The man groans. Jake starts singing in Italian again. Mikey shifts to try and move out of the way and a mousetrap goes off onto his leg. 

Sloth yells, "Food! Hungry! Ah, hungry!" as Mikey sneaks into the room. "Food, please!"

Mikey takes a stick, probably broken off from a rake or something, and pushes the tray of food towards him. When the man turns around, Mikey gasps. The man takes the tray and turns back to the TV. He holds the tray up and yells as if he accomplished something amazing.

Mikey runs out of the room. Looking back every few steps he took. Once he got to the top of the staircase, the woman covered his mouth and he started screaming.

Or at least he thought it was her.

"Mikey, why can't you stay at home?" That's not the woman's voice, it's Brand's. Brand picks him up and throws him over his shoulder. "Let's get out of here right now."

The others start to protest. "Let's get out of here!" Brand yells over them all.

"Get out of here! Get out of here!" There's that woman. She pushes the others out of the door without even touching them. "And stay out!"


"I swear on my life, they've got It. An It, a giant It!" Mouth starts giggling at Mikey's voice going high-pitched. "They got it chained to the wall. When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted and the parts were mixed around!"

"Like your brain, right, Lamo? Say goodbye to your little pals."

"Hey, look, look at that!"

They watch as the three loads a bag into the trunk.

"You know, I'm wondering what is in the bag."

"Uh... restaurant trash." Mikey lies, knowing exactly what's inside. "Yeah."

"You sure? And that big?"

"Yeah."

"That much?"

"Yeah."

"There were bullet holes in the car this big. Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It's dinner time. Why don't we go home?"

"Home? What home? In a couple more hours it ain't gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff." The others nod.

"We've got to," Chunk says in agreement.

"Duck down, guys. Get down. Get down. Duck down!" Mikey snaps.

"See, there are bullet holes in the back of that thing!" Chunk exclaims.

Suddenly, two pairs of hands are on their shoulders.

"Oh, shit!" Mouth yells. The others scream and yell.

"You guys scared me! Almost gave me a heart attack!" Chunk complains.

"Hey, Mouth, you look better from behind."

"Hey, you wanna see something really scary? Look at that." Mouth holds up a mirror. The others laugh and make comments like, "that's really scary."

"We followed you guys," Andy says happily.

"You did?"

"We were out driving with Troy. Oh. Sorry about your face."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I was born with it." Andy laughs. "I'm kidding."

"Anyway, he was being such a jerk. You know, tilting the mirror so he could look down my shirt. So I elbowed his lip."

"You elbowed his lip?" The teens all laugh.

Meanwhile, the group is trying to get into the restaurant. Mouth tests the doors.

"It's locked."

"Thank God!"

"Hey, wait a minute, Chunk."

"What?"

"You know, I got some naked pictures of your mom taking a bath. You wanna buy 'em?"

"What?!" Chunk yells. If this was an animated film there would be smoke coming out of his ears.

"Real cheap." Mouth taunts.

Chunk yells and runs at him, but he moves out of the way, and Chunk rams into the door, breaking it open.

"Thanks, Chunk." They all say, entering the restaurant.

The teens walk up to the restaurant, though Brand is the only one that actually needs to go inside.

"You wait here one second, okay? I'll be right back. I'm gonna go get my brother, alright? Just don't leave, alright?"

"No way, I'm not staying here."

When Brand enters the restaurant, they're all bickering over what to do.

"Shut up!" Mikey yells, and everyone goes silent. "We've got to get to the lowest point of the floor!"

"Yeah!"

The group jumps at the sound of Brand's voice. "Lowest point nothing, Mikey. Let's go. Now!"

Outside, Stef steps on a rake, and the end is a dead fish. They start screaming and run into the restaurant.

"No, Brandon."

"Mikey!" The girls come in, screaming.

"Mikey hit the lights."

"Oh my God!"

Multiple lights break and they all scream.

"It was disgusting, you should have seen it."

"It jumped out from the bushes. It almost killed us, I swear to God."

"Come on, Brand, please?"

"Yeah!"

"What if we find something, huh? A couple more minutes isn't gonna hurt."

"Come on, Mikey, we're going right now."

"Hey, Brand, come on, give him a few minutes. As long as you stay here, with me.

"Yeah, listen to her! She knows what she's talking about!"

"She's a dame!"

"Let's go!"

They all walk down the steps, the boys before the teens.

They all yell when there's growling.

"Chunk, I hope that was your stomach."

"No. That's the It."

"Sounds like Kong."

"Part of it's human. Guys, come on. Wanna see it?" They all shake their heads. "Don't worry. It's chained to the wall."

Chunk grabs onto Mikey's jacket, and Mikey slaps his hand. "Shh!" He grabs his jacket again, and this time Mouth pushes his hand away.

They walk up to the door and look through the glass on the door.

"I don't wanna go, Mikey. I don't wanna go."

"Baby, don't worry. I already told you it's chained to the wall."

"We don't know it's chained to the wall, alright?"

"Come on, you wanted to go."

"Yeah, I wanted to go-"

"So let's go."

Mikey opens the door, and the boys plus Stef enter the room.

"I don't want to see it," Andy whines, grabbing onto Brand's jacket. They lean closer, about to kiss.

The "It" is, in fact, chained up, and he raises his hands. The others scream and back up. They push Andy into Brand and completely mess up their kiss.

They end up in another room, with all of them screaming and yelling while Brand and Andy lay on the couch.

They all go silent, watching until Chunk says, "shame, shame!"

"I know your name." Data adds and Chunk laughs.

"Come on, Brand, slip her the tongue." Mouth teases.

"That's disgusting. No, I can't even look." Stef says.

They get off the couch, and Chunk yells, "Get me up, guys!"

"One, two, three." The three boys pull Chunk up.

"Thanks, guys."

"You're welcome."

"Can't you smell it, guys? One-Eyed Willy really is down here. Alright, we're walking right above..."

"You know, you guys, I'm telling you, I'm gonna build one like this."

"Water." Chunk turns it on, only for the water to hit his eye, not his mouth.

"Okay, come on, we can do it."

Andy goes to grab her arm but Stef pulls it away. "No, wait a minute."

"...back, and the stairs go up and right about here must have been when we said we gotta get to the lowest spot." Mikey finishes.

Finally, Chunk gets the water in his mouth.

"What are you two talking to each other about, Mikey? Mikey? Ow!"

"Sorry."

"What the hell are you doing?" Mikey hits the floor with the metal. "Mikey, you're gonna lose your filling!"

Mikey starts shaking after hitting the floor with a metal pole, and Mouth grabs his shoulders to try and stop him.

"Mikey, what are you doing? Give me that. There's nothing buried under there!"

"There is something buried under there, Brand. The map says there's buried something under there and there's gotta be!"

"Come on, Mikey. Get off of it."

"Lookit! I've got an idea. Why don't we just pour chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?"

"Okay, Mouth, that's all I can stand. And I can't stand no more- " He knocks the jug of water, but he catches it. "I got it! I got it! I got it!" The glass jug of water falls onto the floor and shatters. "I don't got it."

"You klutz." They all say.

"Hope it's not a deposit bottle."

"This is ridiculous. It's crazy. I feel like I'm babysitting except I'm not getting paid." Stef complains.

"Wait. Listen to that." The only sound is running water.

"What?" Mouth asks, looking up at the ceiling.

"So what?" Brand asks as well, also looking at the ceiling.

"Sounds like my grandfather taking a leak, Mikey. Thrillsville."

"No, no, it's deep. Like there's a hole or a passageway." Mikey pushes Brand out of the way. "It's real deep."

"Get out of the way." Brand pushes Mikey over.

"Brand is being so sweet-" Stef quickly cuts Andy off.

"Oh, come on! Come on! Where are you? You're in the clouds and we are in a basement!"

Brand moves the fake fireplace out of its spot, and underneath is a vent.

"I told you! Ha, ha! Told you! I told you! One, two, three." They pull the vent cover off, and it's just wood.

"You can feel the air. There's something down there."

"I told you there was something."

"It might be a treasure or something!"

Data turns on a machine, and it actually works without breaking. "Hey, this is working, guys."

Brand breaks through the wood, almost falling into the hole.

"Brand, careful!"

"Are you okay?"

"I told you there was a passageway."

"It's the start of the tunnel."

"Look." They all look into the tunnel.

Meanwhile, Data has turned on a machine that has started printing money.

"Fifty-dollar bills. Fifty-dollar bills. Fifty-dollar bill? Fifty-dollar bill!"

"Did he say 'fifty-dollar bills'?"

"Fifty-dollar bills! Guys! There's hundreds of them! Fifty-dollar bill! We have the money to save the Goondocks! Fifty-dollar bill. Here, here. Fifty-dollar bill. There's billions of 'em!"

"Wait, wait."

"What?"

"Quiet!" Brand yells.

"What? What?"

"They're fake. They're bogus." Brand points out.

"No, it's not!" Data defends.

"They're phony! They're phony-"

"I knew these people were from the ozone."

"You get twenty-five years for counterfeiting!"

"You guys, I recognize these people." Stef holds up a newspaper with the Fratelli's on the front.

"Look at it. It's the Fratelli's." Brand comments.

"That's the guy from upstairs!"

"And the guy who tried to sing," Mikey adds.

"See, you guys, you never listen to me. I said that there was gonna be trouble but you didn't listen to me. You guys are crazy! You know, you guys are self-destructive. There's a funny farm and it has your names written all over it. But I'm getting outta here. Tha-" Chunk freezes, cutting off his rant. "I smell ice cream."

He turns on the light, jumping up to see through the glass.

"They got Swensen's!" Chunk opens the freezer while the others watch. Once Chunk moves out of the way, they all start walking closer to investigate.

"Oh, look, they got Pralines and Cream and they got Mississippi Mud and they got Chocolate Eruption! And they got Apple. Oh, and they got Grape. They got Grape and Super-Duper Chocolate Eruption and- What? What?" Chunk looks up, and a dead body shot right in the head turns and almost falls out of the freezer.

Chunk starts screaming and runs out of the freezer. The body falls onto the group.

"It's a stiff!" Chunk runs away, and then the others drop it.

"The door!" Data yells, and it goes silent. The floorboards creak and clouds of dust fall as some people walk overhead. Mikey has never held Mouth's arm tighter than he is now.

"Somebody's been here. The door's open."

"Oh, shut it. I'm gonna leave the lights on."

"Calm down."

"Pizza?"

"Shh!"

"Pepperoni?"

"Shh!"

"Ma, he's eating my pepperoni again."

"You want your pepperoni? Huh?"

"Come on! Come on! Let's kill each other over the pepperoni!"

"Put that gun away! I said put that gun away now!"

"You always take his side, Mom. You always liked him better-" The person talking gets slapped.

"That's right."

They all get the body back in the freezer as quickly as possible. What they didn't know is that Chunk was on the other side.

"Okay, close the door," Data says, and Brand shuts the door.

"We can go, guys." Chunk jumps frantically, yet not very high, to try and alert them.

The others go to leave while Mikey stares at the fireplace. "Mikey? Mikey, come on."

"The fireplace, Brand. It's the only way out. You guys will never get out that way."

"...What?"

"It all starts here."

They all walk up to the fireplace.

"Watch your foot."

"Guys, I'm stuck with the stiff! He's in here-" Chunk is cut off by the dead man falling onto him. He pushes him back. "Stay. Stay. Guys, come here! He's in here! Oh, shit."

Notes:

man , i wrote so much the writing is delayed

Chapter 33: Shootout (fultadam)

Summary:

"So the championship comes down to a shootout. Each team picks five of their best. One-on-one with the goalie. No rebounds. Best of five shots wins it all. What a way to end it!"

Notes:

idk why but they seemed pretty fruity for each other so take this ig idk

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Fulton Reed was in love the second he saw Adam Banks walk through the doors and join the team.

Yeah, the Ducks started as some terrible team that couldn't afford any proper equipment and the Hawks could, but look at them now! They beat the Hawks and are against the Icelanders in a shootout.

But even when they barely won anything, Fulton was still in love with Adam.

Sure, he used to be stuck up when he played for the Hawks, but he's different. They're all friends now. The same thing happened with Dean and now Dean and Fulton are the Bash Bros.

But there was something about Adam that Fulton was in love with.

Maybe it was the way he started the first practice not caring he was playing with the rival team, or that everyone ignored and excluded him from everything the team did but he became friends with everyone by the end of the season. Or maybe it was the fact that Adam was so confident in everything he did when Fulton wasn't confident in his best shot.

No matter what it was, he was still in love.

So when Jesse, Guy, Dwayne, Fulton, and Adam are told they'll be taking a shot at getting a point, they're all nervous.

Jesse is first. He makes the first goal easily, giving them the first point.

Then 74 scores on Goldberg, handing his team a point and already tying it up.

Next is Guy. He fakes the goalie out and gets another point.

Then Goldberg saves a point with a gloved catch, keeping the Icelanders at one point.

Dwayne goes next. He bounces the puck on his stick until it falls off, then slides the puck between his legs before shooting. Sadly, the goalie catches it, but they're still in the lead.

27 is up next, and he barely moves the puck before taking a shot. The puck goes in, tying the score again.

Now it's Fulton's turn. If he's gonna be completely honest, he's terrified. This only goes in once every five times, and there are no rebounds. He hits the puck so hard he knocks the goalie over and it falls in after hitting the goalie's helmet. Even after making the shot and getting another point, his heart is still racing.

Next is number 5. He gets up close to Goldberg and shoots to the side, getting a point.

For the last chance to win for the U.S.A Ducks, Adam goes to shoot. He looks at Charlie, then Mackay, then Coach Bombay. They all nod at him. Then he looks at Fulton. He gives him a thumbs up and a nod. Adam nods back at them, takes a deep breath, and hits the puck to start. When he takes a shot at the goal, it hits the goalie's leg, and he feels terrible at first, but when the puck goes into the net, everyone is cheering and screaming.

When Adam is back on the bench, he practically falls into Fulton's hug. He sits them both down and takes off Adam's helmet. He gives him a quick kiss before handing him his water.

Now it's Gunnar's turn.

"Julie, you got the fast glove. I know this kid's move. Triple deke, glove side. Anticipate it and you got him."

"What if he goes stick side?"

"He's fancy. He'll go glove." Coach Bombay pats Julie on the back. "Don't hesitate. Let's go."

Julie skates to the goal, taking Goldberg's position as the goalie.

"In a surprise move, Bombay has gone to his bench. He's sending out Julie Gaffney to replace Goldberg. She'll face Gunnar Stahl." Miller narrates for the crowd.

"Go get him, Julie!"

"I don't know about this move by Bombay." Julie hits both sides of the goal before getting ready to play in goal. "Putting in a cold goaltender to face the leading scorer in the tournament."

Julie can hear Gunnar chuckle. It makes her blood boil. If she misses this catch, she'll never forgive herself.

"But hang on to your hats. Here we go. If Julie 'The Cat' Gaffney stops Gunnar Stahl, the U.S.A wins.

"That's one... That's two... That's three." Julie mumbles to herself, and obviously, she counted correctly because Gunnar stops and hits the puck. It goes silent as the puck goes flying, and only Julie knows if she caught it or if he scored.

She looks down at her glove before looking back at him, making eye contact. She stands up, keeping eye contact with him, and throws the puck out of her glove. The crowd cheers loudly, and so does the team.

"Ducks win! Ducks win! Oh, I can't believe it! The Ducks have come from behind to beat Iceland in a shootout in the championship game!" Miller reports.

Julie pulls off her helmet.

"Nice try." She says to Gunnar as she skates past him. She wasn't being genuine, but she wasn't being mean either. Julie was kindly rubbing it in his face.

"Bombay, the Minnesota Miracle Man, has done it again!"

The Ducks skate out onto the ice, piling on top of each other in a hug. Fulton hugs Adam, spinning them both around on the ice before joining the hug.

Gunnar skates back to the bench, looking defeated.

"Gunnar." His coach says. "You lost it for me."

"You lost it for yourself." He walks away. "Let's go shake their hands," Gunnar tells the team.

"Good game." Both teams say as they walk past each other, high-fiving.

"Good work, Captain Duck."

Charlie smiles at him. "Thanks, Gunnar." Gunnar nods at him.

The two coaches shake hands.

"Good job, Coach."

"Thanks, Wolf. We'll see ya again."

The crowd chants "U.S.A!" while Adam skates up to Charlie, giving him the flag.

Charlie runs around the rink, waving the American flag around. The crowd cheers loudly.

"Ducks! Ducks! Ducks!" The team chants, holding the flag up while getting into another group hug. Fulton holds Adam close to him, and they're both practically screaming at each other in excitement.

"Come on, Ducks! We're going home!"

While the Ducks were on the plane, a flock of ducks flew below the plane.

"Hey, Fulton." Adam nods at the window, and Fulton leans over to see out the window.

"That's so far away, how did you see them?"

Adam shrugs. "I don't know."

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love you?"

They both smile. "Multiple times, yes."

Notes:

theyre fruity for each other stfu

Chapter 34: Larson and McGill (fultadam)

Notes:

that scene when adam gets embarrassed bc his old teammates see him with the ducks except fulton is an overprotective bf and its amazing

big scene change lol and i formally apologize for how short this chapter is

uhh larson and mcgill say the f slur ( which i can reclaim ) and fulton swears at them so many times

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After skating and just messing around and having fun on the ice, the game had started. The Ducks were sitting in the stands watching the game.

Peter frantically taps Goldberg's arm and points at something. Goldberg looks over, not being able to find what he's pointing at. Les sees his chance and takes a little bit of Goldberg's food. Goldberg looks over at him while Les looks away. Peter shrugs, forcing himself not to smile.

Adam catches two kids, one of them pointing at him, so he looks over at them. He sees McGill and Larson standing there, pointing at him and whispering about something, most likely him.

They make a gun with their hands and pretend to shoot at him. Adam looks away, hiding his face with his fist. He glances over at them a couple of times while hitting Fulton's arm, trying to get his attention.

Fulton looks over and leans closer to him. "Hey, what's wrong?" He whispers.

"Larson and McGill are-" He takes a deep breath, trying not to break down, "they're over there and I'm..."

"Scared." Fulton finishes his sentence for him. "I get it, it's okay. Come here." Fulton holds out his arms, and Adam leans onto his side with a smile.

Fulton looks over at them and can see McGill say, "Fucking fags," and it pisses him off.

"Hey, lovely, I'll be right back. I need to deal with something."

"What, I can't come with you?"

"If you want to, you can come with me."

"Okay!" Adam nods and smiles.

"Hey, Jesse, when we get back, let us know what happened. Alright?"

"Yeah, cool." Jesse nods, not taking his eyes off the game.

Fulton stands up, walking towards the Hawks players while Adam follows him.

"Hey, you two." Fulton looks down at them, and they hesitantly look up at him. "Meet me outside in five minutes. If you're late I'm coming back in here and dragging you outside myself." The two boys nod at them.

"Let's go." Fulton holds out his hand, and once Adam takes it, they walk outside.

"Okay, Adam, I want you to listen to me." Fulton cups his face in his hands.

"Uhm, okay?"

"I love you. If those idiots ever do anything again I will defend you again. I don't want to see you sad again. Okay?"

Adam can't stop the smile from spreading. "Okay."

"Alright, we're out here you fucking fags. What do you want?"

Fulton walks up to him, looking down at them again.

"You do a fucking thing to my Adam and I will fucking kick your ass again."

"Y'know, Fulton, you act all big and mighty but you're actually a scared kid."

"I'm older than you, you dumbass."

"You're still a scared little kid." McGill casually argues.

"I'm 14 asshole."

"Still a-" McGill is cut short when Fulton punches him in the face.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that, you f-" Adam shoves Larson.

Larson mockingly laughs. "Oh, I'm so scared. Come on, punch me, you won't."

Adam hesitates, but he punches him in the stomach. Larson mockingly holds his stomach.

"Oh, I'm in pain." He taunts. Then he shoves Adam to the pavement.

"Hey!" Fulton storms up to him. "What did I say about hurting my boyfriend, asshole?"

"You're gonna kick our ass again." Larson mimics.

"Damn right I am." Fulton punches his stomach and then his face before shoving him down next to McGill.

Fulton crouches in front of him, arms resting on his knees. "I told you not to do anything to him, and yet you can't listen, can you?"

He stands up, holding his hand out to Adam. He pulls him up and off the pavement. "Are you alright? Did they hurt you anywhere?"

"I'm okay, I'm sure. I've already checked for bleeding."

"Alright, come on, lovely, let's go watch the game."

"Hopefully Jesse remembers what happened so he can tell us."

The two laugh and walk back to the rink hand in hand, leaving Larson and McGill outside in pain.

Notes:

fulton can fight and he knows hes strong and uses it to his advantage

why did the idea to write this came to me at 2:30am its literally 2:50am when i publish this

Chapter 35: varsity vs freshman parts 1 , 2 , and 3 (fultadam)

Notes:

it doesnt rlly get to fultadam until waaaayyy later but whatever

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The J.V. Hockey Team walks onto the bus. Coach Orion is standing there taking attendance.

"Mendoza. Fulton." The driver walks onto the bus, but Charlie steps on before the doors shut.

"Conway?" Orion asks.

"I wanna be on the team, Coach. I want to play two-way hockey." Orion stares at him. "Can I come back?"

He smiles. "Take a seat. We're running late." Charlie runs onto the bus. "Let's go. We got a game to catch."

"It's about time, Conway."

Charlie gives high-fives to everyone while they cheer about him coming back.

"Crank it up, Mr. Bus Man!"

Charlie takes a seat beside Russ, smiling.

"Oh, man, you should've seen your face." Charlie's smile falls.

Charlie looks away, jokingly glaring at the aisle. He looks over at the others, and they're laughing and smiling. " "Oh, Coach, I want to play two-way hockey. Can I come back?" " Russ drags his fingers down his cheeks, mimicking tears.

Charlie looks back at him, smiling, and punches his arm. Russ punches him back, and they continue hitting each other until someone boards the bus as well.

"I almost missed you."

Oh. Dean Buckley. How lovely.

"Coach, you mind if I have a few words with your boys?"

"And girls," Julie adds.

"Yes, of course. And girls."

"If you can make it quick, Dean. We're running late as it is."

"I'm afraid this is important." Dean stands in front of them. "We have a board meeting scheduled tomorrow, and..." He takes a breath, "well, you all are on the agenda. We have to think long-term here. What's in your best interest. Hard as it is for me personally, because you kids have been a breath of fresh air around here, the board is going to approve the withdrawal of your scholarships. Now, you'll be welcome to stay through the end of the semester, but after that, it will be necessary for you to enjoy other educational opportunities."

"Dean, I need a word with you."

"I think I've said all I need to say."

"No, now." Orion and Dean exit the bus.

" "Other educational opportunities"? What's he saying, Russ?"

"I'll put it in terms you can understand. Adios, amigo."

" "Adios, amigo." Oh, I see." Dwayne whispers. Everyone looks at the others and they stand up, crowding around the windows and door.

"So that's it? You're just dumping 'em, just like that?"

"Coach, I'm sorry. Your team isn't performing, and I've been under enormous pressure."

"From who? The alumni group? A bunch of aging pep clubbers?" Orion insults.

"Ted, I'm trying to do you a favor. With those kids gone, you'll get to pick your own team. Let's face it, the Ducks are drowning."

"I got my team. Either they stay or I go." Charlie and Russ smile and Charlie nods.

Without hesitation, Dean pats Orion's arm. "We'll miss you, Ted." And he walks away.

"Why us?"

"Cause he's a slime."

"Yeah, I know where that dude lives."

"We're just pawns. Puppets for the stage show, jesters to entertain the king, barnacles on the bottom of-"

Russ holds his hand out, and Les stops yelling. "Shut up!" He says, stretching out the sentence.

"Coach, is this legal?" Goldberg asks. "I mean, don't we have contracts or something?"

"I don't know what it is. All I know is we're gonna fight it."


The Warriors stand on one side of the room, the Ducks stand on the other. The rest of the people stand in front of the door.

Dean Buckley clears his throat. "Do I have a motion for reconsideration?"

The board members murmur but don't say anything. 

"I'm sorry, Coach, but unless there is a... motion from a board member and a second, the decision must stand."

"Told you not to worry." Rick mumbles, loud enough for the Ducks to hear but not for everyone else. Adam grabs Fulton's hand, taking a deep breath.

"You leave us no choice but to bring in our attorney."

"Please." One of the Varsity players says mockingly.

Charlie smiles once he hears the door open, knowing exactly who it is.

Everyone starts mumbling about who's coming in and who's the attorney and all that.

And in walks Gordon Bombay, the previous coach of the Ducks.

"Dean Buckley, members of the board." Adam smiles, shaking Fulton's hand excitedly. Fulton smiles, playfully rolling his eyes at him.

"As counsel for Coach Orion..." Gordon walks past the Ducks, "and the freshman hockey team, I'm here today to set forth your legal options, so that you may make the best possible decision for all parties concerned."

"Mr. Bombay, this isn't a legal proceeding."

"Not yet, but I can assure you that it will be." A few board members shake their heads. "Do you mind?" Gordon holds up his suitcase, letting Dean hold it for him, and pulls the scholarship out of the front pocket.

"These scholarships... an offer... became a binding contract upon the signatures of the recipients... and acceptance by the Ducks. They cannot be voided except for cause which, I guarantee you, you have none. Should you decide to pursue their cancellation, I will slap you with an injunction. I will tie this matter up in court for years, until long after these kids have gone on to college. And I will collect damages. I will win. Because I am very, very good. You know why I'm so good? Because I had a good education. You gave it to me. And you're gonna give it to these kids." Gordon rants, walking around the Duck's side of the table multiple times.

"He is good," Orion says to Charlie.

"Just gettin' started."

"Now some of you may be snobbish enough to believe that these Ducks don't belong at Eden Hall. Let me tell you, you are dead wrong. These are remarkable young people. You give them their full shot, and I promise you they will succeed, not only on the ice but in the classrooms as well. These people are my friends, and I know what they can do. Accordingly, I demand that you reinstate their scholarships, for their benefit... and for your own." Gordon ends his speech and shakes Orion's hand.

"This is ridiculous. Really."

"What's going on, man?"

"I move that the scholarships be reinstated."

"Is there a second?" Dean asks. Another board member raises his hand.

"All in favor?" The board members all raise their hands.

"Scholarships reinstated."

The Ducks cheer, and so does most of the crowd. The Warriors are not happy. Adam hugs Fulton, and Fulton picks him up and spins him. They're both laughing, and it doesn't matter if anyone cares because they're staying at Eden Hall Academy.

Gordon hugs Orion, then Charlie. "For Hans, Charlie."

Everyone exits the room, though the players stay in the back.

"I've got some business in Chicago, but I'll be back soon," Gordon explains. "If you need anything, give me a call."

"Alright."

"Okay? I mean it."

"Yeah. Thanks again, Coach."

"Alright." Gordon walks away.

"See you later."

"See you." Orion walks away as well.

"Hi, Charlie." Linda greets.

"Hey. Listen, I'm sorry I was such a jerk, but, I'm staying in school. And I still owe you that coke."

"I'm just glad you're back."

"Congratulations... in destroying our school." The Warriors stop the Ducks in their tracks.

"Hey, look, it's our school too," Ken says.

"It's everyone's school, you stupid jock."

"No, it'll never be your school. Don't you get it? You're our own little affirmative action, brought in for color to entertain us. But you couldn't even do that. Your fancy lawyer kept you in on a technicality, but you'll never belong."

"You'll never be anything more than a bunch of rejects here on a free ride."

"Freeride? Look at you, rich boy! Mummy and Daddy gave your everything, huh?"

"Hey, J.V.-Varsity game's on Friday. Then we'll show the whole school what a joke you really are. Then maybe you'll leave on your own. It'd be the-" Rick touches Charlie's tie, and Charlie is quick to hit his hand away, glaring at him, "only honorable thing to do."

"You know we're gonna hurt you."

Charlie scoffs. "Listen, you guys had an unfair advantage last time. You had one of us: Banksie."

"Oh, well, keep him. He never had the heart of a Warrior anyway." Fulton pulls Adam closer, glaring at Rick.

"Hey, Biff, one more thing. After we beat you, the Warriors die and the Ducks fly."

"Hey, anything you say, loser. Hm?" The Warriors walk away.

"Good move, Russ. Make 'em even madder." Les jokes. "Charlie, we gotta do something, man."

"Yeah, you're right. We've gotta get to work."


"One, two..." The Ducks jump over their sticks, hitting the ground twice before repeating on the other side.


"Alright, I've been doing my homework on the varsity. I'm not gonna lie to you, they're good. The way they wiped your faces in the dirt last time was no fluke. So if you want your pride back, you better be willing to work. There's nothing glamorous about it. In the pros, we call it blue-collar in hockey. Now there's one thing the varsity does very well. They're vultures around the net. They pick up every piece of loose trash. That's how they beat you. Not with the first shot; the second and the third. They bang in the junk. So if you wanna win, you're gonna have to pick up the trash." Orion dumps the trash onto the rink, and everyone stares at it.

Les picks up a bagel. "Have any cream cheese?"


They pass the trash to Orion, and he shoots at the goal with it. They all try to get rid of it, which just passes back to him. Sometimes he'll throw it away, sometimes he won't.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go! Come on! Who's that? Who's that? Come on, come on!"

"Clear the bagel out!"

"Who's there? Who's there? Julie the cat, nice save! Here we go!"


"Get down, guys. Alright."

The ducks skate around the street, picking up trash on the sidewalk and throwing it into the bin.

"Come on! Throw that garbage in there! Yes! Whoo!"

The Ducks all laugh and talk to each other.


"Alright, looks like this place is pretty clean." Julie states.

"Get up, get up! Come on! On the net! The crease is yours! Let's go!" Charlie encourages.

Orion blows his whistle, and everyone stops.

"Let's go! Get over here! Grab a knee!" He yells, and everyone crowds around him.

"You guys are not skating like Warriors! You look like something else."

"Huh?"

Orion opens the box on the top of the bin. "You look like Ducks." 

Orion pulls out a jersey. "Robertson." He tosses the jersey to Dwayne.

"Alright! Check it out!" Everyone crowds around the box, looking for their jersey.


They all get into a circle, hitting their sticks on the ice.

"Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack." They put their sticks into the air and continue chanting.


"Fasten your seatbelts and hold onto your hats, everyone. Oh, do we have a special showdown for you. David versus Goliath in a titanic grudge match. The winner can truly say that he is the symbol of Eden Hall. Tonight the Eden Hall varsity Warriors do battle with the Eden Hall freshman Ducks. That's right, folks, look at those uniforms. The sign of the Duck is here at Eden Hall for at least one night." Josh narrates.

"This is for Hans." The Ducks enter the rink and the crowd claps and cheers. They get into a circle and drag two of their fingers across the ice.

"It appears they're paying homage to their departed friend and mentor, Hans. The touching of the ice is a Norwegian symbol of respect."

"They don't belong on our ice. They don't belong in our school. Now show 'em why. Let's go, gentlemen!" The Varsity team shouts in agreement.

"Alright, let's go hunting for goose eggs, huh? Come on, hands in. On three... "Quack." One, two, three."

"Quack, quack, quack, quack..." The team chants, and soon the crowd joins in, too, clapping along.

"The Ducks, Tom. Quack, quack."

"Go Ducks!"

"Come on now!" The starting players go out onto the ice.

"Alright!"

"Bring it on!" Julie yells, hitting the sides of her goal with the stick.

"You're gonna wish like hell you stuck with us."

"Save the trash talk."

"Okay, boys, let's go. Sticks on the ice."

The second the puck is dropped onto the ice, Adam is shoved to the ice.

"The puck is dropped, and here we go. Ooh, Varsity comes out hard."

Not even ten seconds into the game, one of the Varsity members takes a shot at the goal, and Julie saves it.

"Ooh! Big save by Julie the Cat! At this rate, it's gonna take a miracle for the Ducks to hang on."

The Varsity passes the puck around before taking another shot at the net. This time, Goldberg saves it with his skate.

"Goldberg, spectacular toe save, as the Ducks are playing real defense."

"Get off of me!" Julie yells, and the whistle blows.

"Fulton, change it."

"Alright! Go, Julie!" Connie cheers.

"Why'd you come back?" Rick asks though he doesn't really care.

"Unfinished business." Charlie answers.

"We'll finish it for you."

When the puck is dropped, he tries to shove Charlie, but Charlie pushes him to the ice.

Dwayne gets the puck, and one person comes after him and he dodges it, but then another person comes after him and hits him. Fulton hits them back, and then two other Varsity players trap Fulton, letting Dwayne slip away.

One of the Varsity players takes a shot but Julie blocks it. Charlie takes it, but gets pushed into the glass by one of the Varsity players, who says, "I'm gonna stand you up!"

They take another shot, but this time Goldberg blocks it with his stick.

"Warriors are swarming." The Varsity takes another shot, and Julie saves it.

"Gaffney comes up big again! Conway gets the rebound..." Charlie sends the puck to the other side of the rink, "and ices the puck. I don't know how much longer these Ducks can hang on."

"Way to hang tough." Charlie pulls off his helmet, and Guy skates over to the two.

"These guys keep charging. What are we gonna do here?" Guy asks.

"We gotta stand up to them." Charlie answers. "Play a little defense. Alright? Let's go!"

When the game starts again, the Varsity takes another shot, and Julie saves it with her glove.

"Clear the puck! Come on! Clear the puck! Get with it, defense!" Julie yells as the Varsity makes multiple shots on the goal.

"It's Goldberg, Germaine, and Averman. Everyone's getting into the act now. They're clearing out the garbage in front of the net. They aren't gonna allow any cheap goals tonight."

Dwayne gets the puck and skates up the rink before passing to Charlie.

"First shot on the Varsity goalie. Save! Ah, he came up big."

The Varsity takes another shot on the net and Julie saves it.

One of them shoves Dwayne out of the way before taking another shot. Julie saves it again.

They take more shots before Julie hides the puck from them. The crowd gasps.

"Ooh, close one," Julie says, breathless.

"Nice save, Catlady."

"Thanks, Goldberg."

"Just pickin' up the trash."

The buzzer goes off, and Orion sends in new players.

"Let's go! Come on, come on!"

"Come on, guys! Pick it up, pick it up!"

"Pick up the hitting now!" The Varsity coach yells.

The Ducks are hit multiple times which makes Orion send new people in.

"Well, if you can't beat 'em, beat 'em. That seems to be Wilson's message because the Varsity is really nailing the Ducks now."

At one point, Russ is shoved to the goal, and Varsity players trip over him, which makes them fall into Julie. But Russ gets up and takes the puck.

Orion hits the glass dividing the two teams with his papers, getting a Varsity coach's attention.

"What?"

"It's a game of hitting, game of hitting. Come on."

"Come on! Let's go!" The Varsity coach sends in new players.

Two of them ram into Averman. "Now I resent that." Les slips down the wall and one of the Varsity players attempts to knee him in the head, barely missing his face. The Ducks and crowd gasp, the Ducks trying to get the refs to call something.

"Whoa, Les Averman just got leveled. He must be seeing stars."

Fulton and Dwayne help him back to the bench. "Ah, it's so pretty up there."

"Way to stand strong, buddy."

"Hi, Coach." Les greets with a smile, his glasses crooked.

"Okay, son. Come on, have a seat."

"Keep hitting. They'll break."

"Watch yourselves, Ducks. They're head-hunting, huh? Fulton, Goldberg, change it up!"

"Go get 'em!"

"Orion sends out Fulton and their new defensive weapon, Goldberg."

Julie goes to get the puck out of their zone and accidentally gets shoved into the glass along with Charlie and one of the Varsity players.

"Oh no." Rick takes a shot at the goal, and Julie slides in front of the net, saving the puck from going in. The crowd cheers.

"Huge save by Gaffney. She got caught out of the net, but she scrambled back in just in the nick of time. Nice save, Julie the Cat!"

"She's an A student too."

One of the Varsity players tries to shoot but Julie blocks it. She passes to Guy skating past, but he gets shoved into the glass.

The Ducks are quick to stand up and start yelling. "Come on!" Orion yells, throwing his papers down. "Well, blow something, ref! Come on!"

"Oh, now this is getting out of hand. Guy Germaine just took a vicious check into the boards. He's down, and he's not getting up."

The ref blows the whistle. "Let's go."

"You'll be alright, partner. You're okay. You're okay."

"Okay, Guy, just stay down there for a second." The doctor says.

"It's okay. Back up, guys. Give him some room."

"You okay?"

"I'm okay. Here, I can skate."

The Varsity coach chuckles. "That's hockey." He says to Orion with a shrug.

"You're alright, Guy. You'll get 'em back. Yeah." The crowd claps and cheers in support and happiness as Guy gets up and slowly skates -- with the help from a ref and a doctor -- off the rink.

The clock is now under twenty seconds. The Varsity passes the puck around until Charlie comes up and steals the puck from them.

"Get him, get him!"

"Conway on the breakaway! He's all alone!"

Three seconds left on the clock. The buzzer goes off as he takes the shot, and sadly, it goes in.

"Oh, beat by the buzzer. Two periods down, it's still no score. You really gotta wonder how much longer the freshman can take this pounding. Okay, and now, it's a great pleasure to introduce our special, surprise, in-between-period guest, from the Anaheim Mighty Ducks and visiting friends in the Twin Cities area, N.H.L. sensation Paul Kariya. Paul, thanks for being here."

"Thanks, Josh. It's great to be in Minnesota."

"So what do you think of the game so far?" Josh asks.

"The Ducks are playing their hearts out, but they've got to find a way to score."

"Yeah, it's gonna be tough. This Varsity team is big and brutal."

"Well, size isn't everything in hockey, Josh. The Ducks have the speed and the determination. It's gonna be quite a third period."

"Good point, Paul. So what do you think Coach Orion's saying in the locker room?"


"You're playing hard. I'm proud of you guys."

"They're cheap-shotting us to death, Coach," Luis complains.

"I know they are. I know they are."

"It's gonna take a miracle for us to hold on."

Suddenly, the door flies open, and in walks the one and only, Dean Portman, holding his scholarship and reading it aloud.

" "Dean Portman is awarded a full athletic and academic scholarship to the Eden Hall Academy." I had this lying around the house in Chicago. My attorney thought I should sign it. I agreed. It's official, boys! I'm back!" Everyone crowds around Dean, cheering and welcoming him back.

"Bombay." Orion laughs at Charlie's comment.

"Let's go dance on their skulls!" Dean yells as the team continues to cheer.


"Here we go into the third period of a well-fought battle. Oh, look, here come the Ducks. Hey, wait a second. Isn't that Dean Portman? Hey, it looks like the other Bash Brother is back, and he's brought the Ducks to a renewed spirit." Josh narrates.

The crowd cheers as Dean holds his stick in the air, skating with the team.

"Dean Portman hasn't skated for a while, but he's known more for his enforcer skills."

"Who is that kid? He can't play." Tom argues.

"The kid's got a contract, Tom. My hands are tied."

Cole laughs. "Look, it's the other Bash Brother. Ooh, I'm really shakin' now."

Dean looks him up and down. "So you're the big enforcer, huh? It's nice to meet you. You know, we got something in common-"

"Shut up! Let's play hockey."

Dean chuckles. "Whatever you say, sunshine."

"Gentlemen, let's have a good period of hockey."

"Let's see what you got, Bash Brother!" Cole growls and skates towards Dean, and Dean laughs at him. Dean lets Cole skate at him while he kneels. Cole flips over his back, and everyone gasps.

"Oh my! What a hit!"

Cole starts yelling as he hits the top of the glass and shatters it. He falls into the crowd, and the crowd gasps again. The Ducks all push against each other to see Cole through the glass.

"Come on, Wilson! Get..." Tom trails off.

Dean starts laughing while Cole attempts to stand up with help from the board. His gloves slip on the broken glass and he falls again.

Fulton stops beside Dean. "Now that's clearing the garbage."

"Hey, man, we're just gettin' warmed up!" The two laugh and skate away, getting back into the game.

When the game starts again, Dean shoves one of the Varsity players.

"Oh, yeah, you like that, huh?" He asks mockingly, laughing. "Come on, here you go." Dean and Fulton slam another player into the boards.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Bash Brothers are here to stay."

When one of the Varsity players skates next to the glass with the puck, Dean tries to hit him and misses, so then Fulton hits the Varsity player into the glass. The two laugh and cheer, taking the puck.

"This is more like it. The Ducks are finally starting to dish it out. Look at Portman, Fulton, and Goldberg! Oh, the Bash Brothers are really going to town."

The three of them shove a Varsity player to the ice.

"It's a legal check."

"Alright, you guys, work!" Connie encourages.

Guy takes the puck from the Varsity passing it around.

"Here come the Ducks on a break."

"Pass it, Guy!"

"Germaine passes to Averman. Averman fakes. Tosses back to Mendoza! Shoots! Saves!"

"Oh no, not again!" Luis slams into the glass. The Varsity takes the puck while Luis gets back up.

"Alright, change it up!" Orion yells.

"Let's go, let's go! Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Dean reaches over one of the Varsity players and the Varsity player falls over his stick. The ref blows the whistle. "Ah, come on!"

"Get up, man. Get up. I didn't do anything."

"21 white, two minutes, hooking." The ref calls.

"Come on, ref!"

"What kind of call was that?"

"Give me a break! I didn't do anything! That's a dive!" Dean protests.

"Let's go, son."

"Come on, ref!"

The crowd boos at the ref's call.

"Alright then, do you want to see a penalty? I'll show you a real penalty." Dean shoves a Varsity player away when they skate to him. "Get outta my face, man. What the- Ref, give me a break, that's a dive! What are you talking about? Oh, please. Yeah!" Dean throws his stick and helmet on the floor. He grabs onto the glass and pulls himself onto the boards.

The crowd cheers loudly as Dean pulls off his jersey. The band starts playing a song. Les starts to dance along.

"Shake it all up, baby!" Goldberg yells.

"Hubba, Hubba, Hubba!"

Dean throws his gloves into the crowd.

"Charlie, don't give up, man! They ain't that tough!" Dean pulls off his pads and his shirt.

"This is insanity. Dean Portman is..." Dean swings his shirt around, screaming and yelling while the crowd is cheering. "He's stripping in the penalty box! Oh, he has really got this crowd, especially the ladies going."

"Yeah!" Dean starts dancing to the music. "Yeah!"

"He's taking a dance class, Tom."

Once Dean's racket was over, the game was going for good.

"Change it."

"Let's go, guys. Come on."

"Too many men, ref! Too many men!"

"Too many!"

The ref blows the whistle. "White, you got a bench."

"No!"

"Bench minor. Too many men on the ice."

"Alright, Luis!"

"Put a man in the box." The Varsity cheers.

"Luis! Luis, back on the bench! Wu, go to the box!"

"Oh, this is bad, folks. Ken Wu jumped off the bench a little too early, and now the Ducks will have to skate two men down."

"Alright, time out! Time out!" Orion makes a T with his hands and the ref blows the whistle.

"Five on three. We're never gonna make it." Ken complains, joining Dean in the box.

"It's cool little Bash Brother. We can hold 'em, man. Don't give up. Let's go."

"Come on, bring it in. Now, listen to me. The pressure is all on them. All we gotta do is hold our ground. Okay, Conway, Banks... and Goldberg, I'm going with you."

"Me, Coach?"

"You, Goldberg. You earned your spot out there. Okay, Ducks? Here we go! Come on!" Two of the three Ducks leave the bench.

"Hey, Charlie... we're really backed into a corner here. We hold them for two minutes, we got ourselves a tie."

"We're up to it, Coach."

"I know you are, but you deserve to win. Not careless, but not too careful either. If you see your shot, take it. Make sure it counts." Orion puts the C back on Charlie's jersey.

"Go get 'em, Captain."

"Five on three for two minutes, and here we go."

Julie attempts to grab the puck but the Varsity fakes taking a shot.

"Oh no! Open net!"

When the Varsity takes their actual shot, Adam jumps in front of the net and saves a goal.

Goldberg takes the puck and passes the puck up.

"Goldberg clears it out of the zone."

Varsity takes the puck and skates up the ice. Rick passes two of the three Ducks.

"Make him make the first move, Conway."

"Conway and Riley, the two captains, are one-on-one!"

"Come on, try and take me, try and take me. Come on." Rick makes the first move and goes over Charlie.

"That's what I'm talking about!"

Charlie takes the puck and skates behind the net. Goldberg takes Rick down when he tries to push Charlie from behind and take the puck.

"Riley goes down and Conway has the puck with a chance to win it. Here he comes! A breakaway! Ten seconds left!"

Goldberg skates behind Charlie, and Charlie takes down all the defensemen before going to the goal.

"He beats two men! He's all alone! He..." Charlie hits the puck off of Scooter's skate and it goes back to Goldberg. "He passes back to...Goldberg?"

"Shoot, Goldberg!" The Ducks yell as the defensemen charge at him.

Goldberg shoots the puck before being taken down by the defensemen.

Scooter goes to save it, but the goal goes in just a second before the third period ends.

The crowd cheers, and so do the Ducks.

"Ducks win!"

Julie pulls her helmet off. "Alright!"

Dean and Kenny are cheering and laughing in the penalty box. "Yeah!" Suddenly, they pause.

The two look over at Goldberg. "Goldberg?" They turn back to each other. "Goldberg!"

"Yeah!"

"Goldberg!"

They jump out of the penalty box while the team all leave the bench.

Charlie throws his helmet to the ice. "Goldberg!" Charlie skates up to Goldberg, putting his hands on Goldberg's face. "Goldie, I knew you could do it."

Goldberg shakes his head. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"Goldberg, you scored. We win!"

"We win!"

"Good game."

"Hey, thanks." The two coaches shake hands.

"We'll get you next time."

Charlie skates up to Orion and hugs him.

"Hell of a pass, Captain."

"Thanks, Coach."

Scooter stops Julie and kisses her cheek.

"Great game, Gaffney."

"Thanks, Scooter."

The Ducks cheer, not even noticing Luis isn't there.

In fact, Luis is kissing Mindy. Rick goes to leave the rink but sees them and stops.

"Hey, sorry. Our little secret."

Rick glares at him. "Yeah." He says sarcastically. Mindy rolls her eyes and the two continue kissing.

Casey barely takes a step onto the ice when Charlie skates up to her and hugs her.

"I'm proud of you, Charlie."

Charlie smiles. "I love you, Mom."

"Go have fun."

Charlie looks up at the crowd and sees Bombay standing there. The two nod at each other. Bombay looks over at the scoreboard, which makes Charlie look over as well.

A banner that says "Eden Hall Ducks" with the Ducks logo on it covers the Eden Hall Academy Warriors.

"Hey, guys! Guys!" Charlie calls to his team.

"Hey, look what Bombay did!"

The crowd gasps, looking at the banner.

"Alright! Eden Hall Mighty Ducks! Whoo-hoo!"

The crowd quacks while Linda runs onto the ice.

Linda kisses Charlie's cheek. "Charlie. Thank you." Charlie kisses her properly before skating away to his team.

Adam hugs Fulton, and Fulton ruffles his hair. He holds up his index finger, as does Charlie, while everyone cheers and laughs.

"God, I love you, Fulton," Adam tells him with a smile.

"Oh, I know," Fulton responds and kisses him. "You tell me all the time."

Notes:

and thats a wrap ! this took me about three days to write ( minus the whole month i put this off bc i was watching game changers and luca and i couldnt find any interest in writing )

Chapter 36: the party (loganxnick)

Notes:

im sorry idk how boys talk im not either 😭✋
but yeah pre-relationship bc theyre pretty fruity ngl

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Evan has taken his hands off of MJ's waist three times and has put them back four times. Man, he's under some pressure. It's either keep his hands off her waist to make Nick happy or keep them on her waist to make Sofi jealous. He also sucks at dancing, but that's not the worse part right now.

"I don't know which is more brutal, watching my best friend dance with my crush or watching what he thinks is dancing."

Logan sits on the side of the pinball machine next to Nick. Maybe, just maybe, MJ isn't his forever crush.

"Buddy, don't worry about it. I mean, if she's the one for you, you'll get her in the end. But of course, if she's the one for him..." Logan cringes, where was he going with this? "That's not gonna happen."

He stands up and goes back to playing pinball with Sam and Koob. Nick rolls his eyes. What was the point of that anyway?

"Hey, Logan, weird question," Logan glances at Nick so he knows he's listening, "what was the point of that?"

Logan shrugs and hits the pinball back to the top of the pinball machine. "I don't know. Thought it might help or something. Sorry?"

"Another weird question, but do you wanna go dance?"

Logan shrugs again. "Sure. Hey, Sam, play for me, cool?"

"Yeah, sure, man." Logan drops some quarters into his hand.

"Don't let me lose, I'm on a streak."

"Man, I can't promise that," Sam says, shaking his head.

"Oh my god," Nick mumbles. "Just play and don't let him lose his streak or whatever." Nick grabs Logan's wrist and drags him away.

"You know how to dance, right?" Logan asks, putting his hands on Nick's shoulders.

"I have two mothers. What do you expect from me?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

Nick makes eye contact with MJ and smiles at her. He's having a great time dancing with Logan while MJ looks like she's about to run away, crying. Maybe she should have thought her plan through with any and every possibility. Or she shouldn't have tried to dance with Evan. Or both.

At the end of the day, her plan sucks. But that's not the point right now.

MJ says something to Evan and walks away, leaving Evan confused.

"Poor kid can't get a break." Logan comments, having watched the entire thing.

"So much happens in his life he could be the main character of a TV show."

"He's the main character in his life, and the team's life, and his mom's life. Basically, in everybody's life, he's the main character."

"Exactly. He's like the definition of the main character. It's like, you're jealous of him but at the same time you're thinking how much it must suck being the center of attention and it's just weird."

"And there he goes, off to talk with MJ. What'll he talk about? Find out next time on "Evan's Life Story"... or, something?" The two start laughing at Logan's attempt at sounding like a show narrator.

"I wouldn't mind doing this a lot, y'know?" Nick says after some silence. "It's entertaining watching this drama and all that stuff."

"Oh, so you're saying you don't like my dancing?"

"No, I didn't- I meant- I thought-" Nick fumbles out, trying to explain himself.

"I'm joking, don't worry. I know what you're talking about. Keep going."

"I mean, I don't mind the dancing, but watching everyone's drama is just funny."

"Oh, so you wouldn't mind the dancing? So my dancing isn't that bad?"

Nick starts giggling, trying not to laugh too loud. "Oh my god, shut up, you idiot."

"Oh, they're in love." Sam sings, walking up behind Nick and tries to push them together. Since he was pushed, Nick trips and almost faceplants into the floor. Thankfully, Logan caught him so he wouldn't faceplant into the floor.

"Hey, thanks." Logan helps him up 'cause even though he never hit the floor, he slipped -- like an idiot -- and fell.

"Lovebirds! Koob, come over here!" Sam sings, walking away to get Koob's attention off of pinball.

"God, what an idiot." Logan rolls his eyes at Sam and he sarcastically smiles back.

"I mean, even if one of us was in love -- which I doubt because why would that ever happen," Nick chuckles nervously, "-- then I don't see a problem with it, I mean, I'm supportive of everyone and I wouldn't care so I-"

"Are you going to shut up or breathe ever again?"

Nick gasps, realizing he wasn't breathing at all and trying to get some air into his lungs. "Oh. Sorry about that." Nick smiles in an attempt to make it up.

"You're so stupid, it's adorable." Nick blushes and hopes that the lights would hide it.

"Look, Koob, they're in love." Yeah, Sam's teasing them, but Sam just saved the day. Nick has never been happier. Well, he has, but that's not the point.

"We're gonna lose pinball," Koob says, more worried about pinball than whatever's going on with the other two.

"Oooh, you're right. Sorry about your streak, man." Sam pats Logan's shoulder.

"I told you not to let me lose pinball!" Logan grabs Nick's hand and runs to the pinball machine.

"At least you didn't lose the streak yourself. It was somebody else's fault."

"I still lost my streak, what am I gonna do with my life?"

"Nick, why did you do that?" Logan lets go of Nick's hand.

"What?" Nick turns to see Evan standing right in front of him. "What did I do?"

Evan grabs his wrist and pulls him away from the group. "Going to dance with Logan after you told me you liked MJ? It's almost like you don't even like her anymore! And I tried to be nice to her and not give off the wrong vibe so she wouldn't feel bad, but you said you had respect for women. Where'd the respect go?"

"Just because I was dancing with my friend doesn't mean I don't have respect for women? So what if I don't like her anymore?"

"What, you have a crush on Logan because you danced with him one time?"

Nick goes silent yet doesn't break eye contact. The two glared at each other until Evan looks away to figure out where Sofi went.

"Nick, I didn't mean it like that, I- You know what, I'm going to find Sofi and try to talk to her. Go back to your loverboy or whatever. I don't care anymore. You hurt MJ bad. Only you're gonna make this right." Evan walks away, not even waiting for a response. Nick watches him walk away. He's not sure what he's feeling.

"Hey, Nick, you okay? Looks like something really didn't go well. Was it my fault? I'm sorry."

"No, you didn't do anything. He's mad because I was dancing with you and hurt MJ's feelings or something."

"Ugh, what's his problem? Is he upset that Sofi won't date him? Aw, poor him." Logan mockingly pouts and Nick laughs.

"Let's go play more pinball."

Notes:

im geniunely surprised i made this all up ( except the beginning )
also idk why i used pinball instead of the actual game theyre playing in the show ( probably because i cant remember what its called ) but whatever its fine

Chapter 37: not them being jealous (loganxnick)

Notes:

the fact that theyre both jealous of each other is pretty 💅 ngl

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Nick puts more tape on his hockey stick while watching Logan flip the hockey puck on his stick. The rest of the team is doing whatever they're doing in the other room, but whatever it is, they're all complaining about it.

Logan looks over at the tape Nick's using before flipping the puck one more time. "Uh, hey, man, can I use that once you're done?"

"Yeah, sure. You already have everything. Take my tape, too." Nick rips the tape.

Logan holds his hands up as if he did something wrong. "Dude, what's going on? Is everything okay?" He sits on the bench so he can have a better conversation with Nick.

"See, there you go. Being nice when I'm being a jerk. You're even better at friendship than me."

"What?"

"The only thing I had over you was my one goal, but now you have this signature shot so I can kiss that goodbye." Logan stares at him with confusion and concern. "Sorry, it's not your fault. I'm jealous of you."

"You're jealous of me? Dude, I'm jealous of you."

"Right. What could you possibly be jealous of?"

"I mean, you're great at school."

"No, I'm not. Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"It's not- It's not just that. I don't cook because I like it. I cook because my dad's a mess, and someone had to step up once my mom left. Sometimes, when I'm in the kitchen, I see you and your mom's through the window. And you guys are having a great time. I mean, you guys are laughing, you're talking. You were eating spaghetti and you got sauce all over your shirt. I mean, that's a real family. You're a real family. I just want that. That's all I want. And... You're so lucky. Don't take it for granted."

Nick doesn't make eye contact the entire time. He was embarrassed. Embarrassed that he never realized any of that until now.

"I just- I- I'm sorry. I want to make it up to you, I do. The problem is I don't know how, though."

"Just let me come over some time. I wouldn't mind, you know? But in all honesty, your family is basically perfect. I mean, even you're perfect. How could I not be jealous of you?"

"I- I'm perfect?" Nick asks in complete disbelief.

"Yeah, you and your moms and your family. Mostly you, though."

"W... Why do you say that?"

"Oh my god, is this really how I'm supposed to admit this?"

"Uh, I don't know what it is, but yeah, apparently."

"Oh god, okay, uhm. You see, the thing is, I'm like, sorta in love with you..?" Logan smiles awkwardly.

"Wait, really?"

"What?"

"No way, this is some sort of dream. Pinch me."

"I- Uh, okay?" Logan pinches his wrist. Nick waits until he realizes it's not a dream and he pulls his wrist away.

"You're- You're joking, right?"

"Uh...No..?"

"Am I allowed to kiss you right now?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, I don't mind."

"Okay, good."

Nick leans forward and presses his lips onto Logan's. Nick pulled away a couple of seconds later and they stare at each other until they both randomly start laughing.

"Why are we laughing?"

"I don't know!"

"That wasn't even that funny!"

"I know, it's so stupid!"

The two gasp for air as they stop laughing.

"Oh my god, we have some hockey to play."

"Here's the tape you asked for." Nick holds the tape out, laughing.

Logan takes the tape from him and starts laughing again. "Thank you."

"We better win the next games or I'm gonna be so mad."

"Agreed. We deserve it. If we lose it's homophobic."

The two start laughing again and leave the locker room with their team.

Notes:

i dont think i like this but whatever take it anyways

Chapter 38: julia's funeral (johnxpaul)

Notes:

they looked so fruity in this movie omg currently crying /pos
the mfs are gay shut up its their moment /lh

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Hello, little girl.
Hello, little girl.
When I see you every day,
I say, mm mm, hello, little girl.
When you're passing on your way,
I say, mm mm, hello, little girl.
When I see you passing by,
I cry, mm mm, hello, little girl.
When I try and catch your eye,
I cry, mm mm, hello, little girl.
I send you flowers but you don't care
You never seem to see me standing there
I often wonder what you're thinking of
I hope it's me and love love love
So I hope there'll come a day when you say
Mm mm, you're my little girl.
You're my little girl.
You're my little girl."

Once he finishes singing, Paul stares at him, waiting for him to turn the recording off. Once it's off, he starts clapping.

"That was great! I absolutely loved it."

"And me?" John tilts his head and smiles.

"Of course I love you, you idiot."

"Awe, thank you."

Paul holds his arms out. "Get over here, I need to hug you and I don't want to get up."

"Fine, you idiot." John leans his guitar on the seat and sits beside Paul. He leans over and hugs him, resting his head on his shoulder.

"You're so clingy," John says, jokingly rolls his eyes.

"You're so stupid," Paul responds, not looking up at him.

"Oh, shut up."

"Well, now we're even, idiot."

"Says you. You're hugging me like a koala."

"And you're stupid like a koala."

John dramatically gasps. "Ouch."

"We're still even."

"Oh, fuck off."


The news did not come by well.

In fact, it was told at the worst time.

The band was just hanging out together. They weren't practicing, they were simply hanging out like teenagers.

And then Mimi came around, telling the boys what happened. It was meant for John, but she decided they should all know. They were his friends, after all.

"John, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"What did school suspend me aga-" Paul puts his hand over his mouth.

"She's being serious, John."

"Alright, I'm sorry. What is it, Mimi?"

"Julia has died." Everyone stops and gives their full attention to her.

"Who, little Julia?"

Mimi shakes her head. "No. Your mother, Julia."

John's eyes gloss over. "No. No, you've got to be joking, right?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not." John stares at her, waiting for her to say she's joking or something. Mimi stays silent.

"Everyone's getting together at her house."

"Oh, John, I'm so sorry."


Julia Jr. walks around with a tray of sandwiches cut into triangles. Only two people take a sandwich, everyone else denies it.

John hears a banjo being played softly from the other room and storms in.

"What is this? Fucking group practice?" John takes the banjo from Paul and shoves it at Pete. "I don't think so."

"John, it's your mum's."

"She's fucking dead." John heads him and Pete falls to the group. John storms out to go outside and take a breather.

Everyone starts to comfort Pete while he's crying and his nose bleeds.

"John." Paul follows him outside. "John!" Paul stops him and stands in front of him. "Do you want to hit me, too, eh? Well, go on, then."

John hesitates before punching Paul in the face. His mouth starts to bleed and he falls onto the road. John takes a few seconds of just looking at him before realizing what he did.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." John helps him up and pulls him into a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." John takes a bunch of deep breaths, trying not to cry. "I was just getting to know her."

"I know."

John starts crying. "She's never coming back.

Paul starts to feel bad and his mouth hurts so then he starts crying as well. "No. No, she's not."

Eventually, the two start to walk back inside. But before he opens the door, John grabs the sides of Paul's face and kisses him. It takes a second for Paul to register what's going on, but once he does, he kisses him back.

Once they've pulled away, John smiles. "I'm sorry I didn't do that sooner."

"Oh, shut up, you've kissed me enough before."

John puts his arm around Paul's shoulders and Paul copies. The two walk back in, going straight to the room with the other band members. Pete has a towel up to his nose and mouth, stopping the blood from dripping onto anything else.

"I'm a dick." John walks up to Pete, kneeling in front of him. He pulls the towel away, showing the damage of what he did. "I'm sorry, son." Pete doesn't respond, he just continues to sob.

John stands up and takes a few steps back. "Right. Everyone stop fucking crying. We're supposed to be a rock 'n' roll band, for Christ's sake." They all start laughing and giggling.

"John." Everyone turns to look at the man in the doorway. "She was saving this for you. There's a few bob in there." Bobby walks away and John opens it. He glances at the hallway and looks at the back of Bobby's head for a second or two before looking back down at the envelope.

Notes:

in case youre looking for the scene ( and some of it is made up bc yk i wrote it ) its from 1:21:06 to 1:25:19
have i ever mentioned how much i love this movie ? like wow its a fucking masterpiece

Chapter 39: the loop (hollowheart)

Notes:

spoilers for the end of the movie
lowercase is intended

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

miss peregrine flies out the window after scratching barron's face.

"you've lost miss peregrine. you've lost everything. it's over."

barron doesn't answer. he walks up to him, angry. he grabs jake's shirt collar and holds up his ax hand. he's about to kill him, and jake's not scared at all since he has this feeling like he knows he's not going to die, but emma calls out his name and stops him.

"jake?"

barron freezes, looking towards the broken door. she hasn't arrived yet so barron waits a second to make sure they don't show up at the wrong time.

"jake?" a different voice calls out, and that definitely was not emma's voice.

barron realizes how far away the two are and looks back at jake with an evil smirk.

"jake?" emma opens the door and finds two different versions of jake staring at each other.

"enoch? no, wait. look. that's not me. it's barron."

"don't listen to him. he's barron."

"no, i'm jake."

"that's barron."

barron and jake argue until enoch quickly gets tired of it and aims a crossbow at them.

"well, i've got a better shot than jake. so neither of you move until we sort this."

"listen to me. i'm jake. i grew up in florida and i wanted to be an explorer. i thought nothing would ever change because i was ordinary."

"that's jake. get barron." enoch points the crossbow at jake on the right.

"no. look. i told him all of this. she was my psychiatrist."

"look, you deal with him. i'll go find miss peregrine." the jake on the left starts to leave until enoch turns to him and he stops.

"wait. i can prove that i'm me... because i'm not ordinary. i can do something no one else can." jake pauses as the hissing noise gets louder. "i can see the monsters."

barron turns around and finds nothing behind him. but then he's lifted into the air. 

"no, wait, it's me!" the hollow pulls barron's eyes out and drops him onto the ground. then the hollow goes after the next person in sight, jake.

"enoch!" enoch tosses the crossbow to jake and he shoots the hollow. it drops to the floor. jake smiles, knowing he killed the hollow. the other two smile proudly at him. jake takes a step towards them and stops.

emma takes a breath in. "we need to go. the loop is closing."

"yeah."

"those of us who are leaving." emma glares at jake as she walks away.


the group walks up to the ghost train ride where the loop ends.

the twins go first, hugging jake and then walking through the ride doors.

next is bronwyn and claire, and they look up at jake before walking back through the loop.

fiona and hugh are after them, then horace and millard. millard hugs jake and jake pats his head as he walks away. olive and emma hug jake as well.

and then it's enoch's turn.

"enoch-"

"look. you love your grandfather. it's okay. there's nothing more to explain."

"no, i promised miss peregrine i'd look after you all. and with her injured, and you without a loop..."

"she'll recover. and until then, we'll be in 1943. we'll only age one day at a time. you know, like normal people."

"and what about the hollows? as long as they're out there, you're not safe." jake stresses.

"we don't need you to make us feel safe, jake. because you made us feel brave, and that's even better."

jake leans forward and hugs him. enoch freezes, looking down at jake. jake looks up at him and laughs. he lets go and allows enoch to walk back through the loop. jake sits down on the broken steps and turns his phone on. the time is 4:29 pm. once the time switches to 4:30, the loop closed.


when jake gets to his grandfather's house, he finds the house still in perfect shape and his grandfather outside the door.

"tygrysku." the two hug and walk back inside.

"and then we said goodbye... and the loop closed." jake explains, finishing the story. "i was so scared that you wouldn't be here. that i'd never see you again."

"i'm safe." abe whispers and then clicks his tongue. "oh. let me give you your birthday present." his grandfather holds the book out.

jake takes the book and chuckles. "grandpa, my birthday isn't for months." jake opens the book and finds different types of cash sitting on the first page.

"for your travels." abe says about the money. "go to him, jake. you have the map. you can get back to 1943."

jake shakes his head. "no. even so, they took a boat. i don't know where they are."

abe leans closer. "but you know where they were." abe gives him a small smile as jake gives him a look of realization.


jake can't tell if he's ever ran down the dock faster in his life. but he makes it to the boat before they leave. he runs onto the ship and finds enoch outside. he looks over his shoulder at jake and smiles.

"you have no idea how long it took me to get here. the closest loop was in the california desert. i used it to get to the tokyo loop. and that led me to the nearest loop back in 1942... where i wound up joining the navy. don't ask. then i spent to months in london trying to-" enoch cuts him off by pressing his lips onto jake's. jake pulls him closer, kissing him back.

miss peregrine, flying above them, gets their attention after they've pulled away. she gives them the best knowing yet supportive look a bird could give someone.

everyone was preparing to start the boat inside the ship. "ready for full speed ahead!" fiona yells.

Notes:

headcanon that enoch is a softie for jake and would do anything for him bc they were really fruity dont deny it
also idk what the parts of a ship are called so dont mention me not being specific

Chapter 40: murnau poster (miguelxluisxbobby)

Notes:

this fandom is so underrated wow

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It took Miguel and Bobby an hour to meet Luis at the basketball court. They didn't mean to forget, they just got caught up in the other stuff they were doing. Which was sitting at home, doing nothing.

Luis was sitting on the steps on the basketball court with his skateboard and orange juice beside him. He was tapping his foot while reading Salem's Lot by Stephen King.

"Yo!" Bobby yells, bouncing the basketball.

Luis looks up, grabbing his orange juice and walking up to them. "Finally. I've been waiting an hour."

"Relax, Tampa."

"No, don't start with that. You know I didn't wanna leave."

"Don't see the kid six months, that's how he says hi. Bam!"

"Well, well, well." Father Jackson walks towards them, stopping at the start of the steps.

"Hey, Father Jackson. How you doing?"

"Luis. Keeping good company, I see." Bobby rolls his eyes, shaking his head. " "Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men." " Father Jackson walks away, not letting them answer.

"So dramatic," Bobby complains once Father Jackson's out of earshot.

Luis turns around quickly. "Miguel." He says, demanding an answer as to what Father Jackson was referencing.

"Okay, Bobby got into a minor, minor, altercation in biology, and..." Luis looks at his boyfriends, waiting for an answer, "Father Jackson kicked him out of school."

"You got kicked out of school?!"

"Damon started it." Bobby defends.

"You're only telling me this now?"

"Well, we didn't want you to worry." Luis starts biting his nails. "Listen, you worry too much. I mean, look at yourself." Luis takes his hand away from his mouth and turns his hand into a fist. "You're eating your hand off."

"This is it. It's finally happened. I'm out of the crew. Everything's different now." Luis starts walking away and his boyfriends follow, Bobby giving him a "why are you being this dramatic" look and Miguel looking at Bobby with confusion. "Miguel's a politician. Bobby's voice changed all of a sudden. He sounds like Denzel now. I bet you even got leg hairs."

"Yup." Miguel snickers at his own response.

A car horn honks and they all stop. The music playing in the car is so loud, they can hear the muffled words.

"Who is that?" Luis asks. Miguel pulls his backpack straps closer to his chest.

"What up, fellas?" Bobby nods at him. "Bobby, I ain't heard from you. We doing this, or what?"

"Nah. I'm good for now."

Henny nods. "Alright. You change your mind, you let me know."

Bobby nods quickly.

"Hey, hey, yo, yo. Those are nice, son. What size are they?"

"Uh... nine." Luis answers.

"That's a little tight, but I think we can make it work."

"Actually, maybe an eight and a half." Luis fumbles out.

Bobby puts his hand in front of Luis. "Come on. Just leave him alone."

"No one's talking to you. I'm talking to Puerto Rican Harry Potter right here." Luis awkwardly pushes his glasses up.

"Let him be, Slim. Alright, boys. I'll be seeing you." Henny drives away.

Luis frantically takes a drink from his orange juice. "Ah, this kinda stress makes my blood sugar go nuts."

"What was that all about?" Bobby ignores him.

"Luis, you really making us look soft." Bobby bounces the ball once.

"Bobby?" Miguel questions, waiting for his question to be answered.

"Henny asked me to do something. I said no. That's it. Let's forget about it. Luis, I'm sorry I dissed you. Come on." Bobby runs up to the hoop, dribbling the ball. Luis and Miguel look at each other, both giving each other a confused yet doubtful look. "Y'all ready?"

"Yeah, yeah."


"Listen. I'm gonna spit some."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Alright."

"I got bars like a Kit Kat."

Luis and Miguel provide backup. "Kit Kat."

"Messing with me, you better get back."

"Get back."

"Your breath hot, need a Tic Tac."

"Tic Tac."

"Girlfriend make me go skit-skat."

"Skit-skat."

"And you know, she take a nap, nap."

"Nap, nap?" The other two questions, not in sync like they were before.

"And now your hair built like a knapsack."

"Nah. No knap. That's bad."

Miguel almost runs into a blonde woman walking down the sidewalk. "Oh my goodness!"

"Oh! I'm so sorry. Pardon me." The woman smiles at him, not answering. "You must be lost."

"No, I just moved here." The woman finally answers.

"To the Bronx?" Bobby asks as if he heard her wrong.

"Yes. Why does everyone keep saying that?" The boys stare at her. "Oh, I know. You think I'm gonna, like, call the cops and say it's too loud, but that's not me. I wanna get to know my neighbors. I'm Vivian." Vivian holds her hand out.

Miguel shakes her hand. "Miguel Martinez. Nice to meet you. You should come to our block party Friday night. We're raising money for Tony's bodega. Landlord jacked up his rent, so we're trying to help out." Miguel explains. "Here is a flyer."

"Oh my gosh. Wow. Give me some more flyers, and I can hand them out to my neighbors, and we can keep this bodega open."

"Have a bunch. Thanks. It means a lot."

"Okay. Cool. Well, it was nice to meet you."

"You, too. Nice meeting you." Vivian walks away.

"You know she's gonna call the cops, right?" Luis stresses. "No one says they're not gonna call the cops unless they're gonna call the cops."

"You paranoid, man."

"Come on. Let's go." Miguel walks away, and his boyfriends follow.

"That white lady is bad news," Luis warns.


"Yo. Check out the courthouse."

"What's up with that red light?"

They look at the Murnau poster hanging from the fence. Bobby shakes his head.

"They're turning it into apartments?"

"Y'all know how this starts. Them white people with canvas bags?" Bobby says, referencing the people on the poster. "That's always the first sign."

"It was the same dudes who got Becky too."

"You got it out for these guys, huh?"

"Yeah." The other two look at him as if he was insane. "Y'all gonna help me put up these posters or what?"

Bobby puts his hand on Luis's shoulder. "Our boyfriend's back in town to get away from the hell that is Tampa, and we gon' spend the night putting up posters for a lost cause?"

"Lost cause? This is not a lost cause." Miguel argues.

"Do your thing." Bobby turns to Luis. "Luis. Xbox at Tony's?"

Luis looks over at Miguel, trying to make sure he's okay with it and won't be upset with him leaving.

"Do whatever you want."

"Come on, man. It'll be good. Let's go." Bobby hits his chest and walks away, trying to pull Luis along.

"Have fun, Miguel." Luis kisses his cheek and walks off with Bobby.

Notes:

this movie is so underrated go watch it losers

Chapter 41: arguments always tell the truth, don't they? (johnxpaul)

Notes:

no , they arent gonna argue , its after the scene with mimi and julia and theyre at mimis talking about what happened

also this is so short but i wrote it on my phone so im sorry if it sucks

Chapter Text

John walks out of the house, slamming the door. He throws the gate open and storms off down the street. He starts to run down the sidewalk, just now figuring out where he's gonna go.

John's high when he arrives and walks down the street to the pub.

He walks into someone's shoulder, which is obviously their fault for not moving out of the way. "Hey! You idiot." John glares at them and continues walking.

He tries to walk through the bodyguards but they push him back. "No chance." He says. "Get to fuck." John stands there and blows the smoke in the guard's face. He pushes John back and John walks away. Then John notices Marie with her friend.

John puts his hands on the sides of her arms and leans close to her. "Forgive me, angel." He can barely kiss her properly before her friend pulls her away.

"Come on, Marie. He's a loser."

"John?" John squints trying to figure out who's talking to him. The person walks up to him and he just barely looks down at them.

"Who are you?" He asks. Damn him for not thinking about grabbing his glasses.

"It's me, Paul. John, are you okay?"

John smiles. "Hi, then, Paulie."

"John, come with me." Paul grabs his hand and pulls him away from the pub. John laces their fingers together and completely ignores Paul blushing when he does.

"So, where are we going, Paulie?"

"We're going to my house." Paul answers, pulling him along.

"Why's that?"

"Cause you've got a cigarette, you're trying to get into a pub, you tried to kiss your ex or crush or whatever she is, you're being even more of an idiot than you already are, and you wouldn't be out this late unless you're arguing with Julia or Mimi." Paul lists off.

"I was arguing with Mimi and my mum! How'd you know?"

"You never go to a pub this late unless you're with friends or we have a gig, but we never have gigs this late at night and your friends are sleeping right now. So the only other option is you got into an argument with Mimi and Julia."

"You're so smart, Paulie, I love you." Paul looks back at him, shocked and blushing.

"You what?"

"I love you, really."

"Like, as a friend?"

"No..? You're so cute." John smiles at him.

"We'll talk about this at home, okay? Don't want the wrong people hearing you, okay?"

"Okay."

Once they get to Paul's house and are in his room, John falls onto his bed. "Are we gonna talk now?"

"Yeah. What was that about?"

"What?"

"You said you loved me. But you tried to kiss Marie and we're friends, right?"

"Yeah, but I said I wanted her to forgive me and she would only do that if I kissed her, y'know?"

Paul sighs. "No, because I've never had a girlfriend!"

"Oh. Paul McCharmly has never had a girlfriend?" John teases.

"Oh, you're never gonna let me live it down, are you?"

"Nope."

"Shit. Whatever, I have better things to worry about. I have to worry about you more than you teasing me. You said you love me. What is that all about?"

"I do love you. I think it's pretty self explanatory, Paul."

"Yeah, but friends don't just say that to each other."

"Well, what if I don't mean it as a friend?"

"What?"

"You heard me. What if I don't mean it as a friend?"

"T- But- You couldn't mean it any other way... Could you?"

"Of course I can, idiot."

"But, it's-"

"Just shut up and let me kiss you."

Paul goes red. "I- Uh- Wh- Okay..?" He fumbles out and John laughs at him. Paul glares at him.

John stands up and pulls him closer and connects their lips. Paul freezes, not knowing what to do before his mind finally catches up and he starts to kiss back. Eventually, they pull away for air.

"That was my first kiss." Paul admits and looks down at his shoes.

John starting laughing, saying, "And you didn't think to mention it until after I kissed you?"

"At least you were my first kiss."

"Yeah, whatever."