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Unspoken

Chapter 26

Notes:

I just realized I don't have to write "A/N" if I'm leaving a note on AO3 lol whoops.

This chapter is very heavy on Spanish culture references and language usage. For any of my Spanish/Spanish-speaking readers, I did my research but if there are some inconsistencies in some details and words, please go easy on me and also let me know so I can make corrections. I'm not trying to make any intentional commentary on Spanish culture, I just wanted a cute, different setting for Elsa and Anna to find some peace in. 

Chapter Text


"We can take it slow."

Later in the day that they revealed their feelings for each other, Anna finally accepted the invitation to sleep on the bed instead of the couch. Elsa held Anna in her arms, kissed the top of her head, and whispered those five words. And they both fell asleep with those words lingering like stars along the ceiling.

For the next week, they kept to those words effortlessly since they already knew how to enjoy each other's company without any romantic implication. They binged through three shows, went on grocery runs, and even took the time to drive back down to Copper Springs for a day for Elsa's early birthday celebration with Rapunzel and Eugene. If it weren't for the occasional long glances, hand squeezes under the table, and private kisses, you'd never expect they were even together.

Which is the point.

It's not until they return from Copper Springs, and Anna asks Elsa what she wants to do on her actual birthday, that things feel real again. Their relationship, their love, their affection for each other. Elsa asks Anna to let her actual birthday pass like any regular day because she wanted to go on a date a few days later.

On Christmas.

"Don't worry about planning anything, I'll figure out the details," Elsa tells her. "I just need you to say yes."

"It's Christmas, Elsa. Nothing's going to be open," Anna reasons.

"I don't want to go shopping anyway. I just want to spend time with you away from all the people, doubts, or- or hesitations. I just want to take my love out on a date."

My love. The sweetness in those two words nearly takes her breath away, as cheesy as that might sound. Anna wants to say yes, but she needs to be sure of one last thing first. "And you're fine with missing Christmas Day service?"

"And Christmas Eve, yes," Elsa replies without any sense of guilt in her answer. "Jesus has enough visitors on his birthday, I'm sure he won't mind if we're not there this year."

Anna gasps and says with mock offense, "Blasphemy!"

Elsa rolls her eyes and slides her arms around Anna's shoulders, resting them against the breathless girl. As she steps a little closer, she asks one more time, "So...will you go out with me?"

And with the way Elsa looks at her, the way she leaves her arms against her like they're dancing at prom, the way she speaks like it's the most important question she's ever asked...Anna would be a fool to say no.


On the quietest Christmas they've ever had, there's a knock on the apartment door. It doesn't surprise Anna, however, because she knows exactly who's waiting behind it. Being extra careful to not tip over their tiny Christmas tree, she walks over and opens the door, greeting the familiar face with a smile.

"Hi," Elsa says as if she hadn't just shouted at her a few seconds ago to close her eyes so she could rush out the front door without being seen.

Anna shakes her head, "You're ridiculous."

Elsa leans forward and kisses her on the cheek, knowing that there aren't enough people on this floor right now to see. Her boldness continues when she whispers in her ear, "Ridiculously in love."

Thank God that Anna's still inside, because if anyone was around, they'd see the redness on her cheeks from all the way down the hall. Her mind jumbles all of her responses, and what ends up coming out of her mouth is a squeaked out, "Bold you."

It's that line that tells Anna her sister's taking this date seriously, along with the fact that she's decked out in a new pair of black, skin-hugging leggings, a cute white undershirt, and a baggy denim jacket. Elsa has the audacity to giggle when she steps back, and she says, "Too much?"

Anna pushes the hood of her fluffy, navy-blue hoodie against her flushed face and mumbles out a "Hush."

Mercifully, Elsa doesn't say anything flirty or even reach for her hand as they walk out the apartment complex and to her car, but when she starts the car and the heater, her hand immediately finds its way on top of Anna's. The shift in mood is unexpected for Anna, not because she doubts Elsa's love for her (though it's still crazy to think about), but because Elsa's so cavalier with her displays of affection when no one's around.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Anna asks.

"Enjoying what? Holding your hand?" Elsa says innocently.

"Well, that and…" Anna flaps her free hand back and forth, gesturing to the two of them. What she can't put into words, she hopes still makes sense with weird hand motions.

Elsa raises an eyebrow, watching Anna's hand before realizing what in the world she's trying to say. She catches her sister's hand by the fingers, and then gently plants a kiss on her knuckles. The look she gives, the way her blue eyes light up, is intense and unfamiliar. Like she's just uncovered a rare jewel. "Anna…" she says softly. "I've waited three years to be able to do this with you. I want to show you my love every chance that I get."

Someday, Anna will be able to breathe normally again.

Without another word, Elsa pulled out of the snow-covered parking lot, careful not to drive over any icy patches. Anna's only knowledge of this date is their destination: Potosi, a small, Spanish town nearly two hours south of Copper Springs. They've only been there once as children, their parents complained the whole time about how it was too hot (their fault for bringing them in July) and never took them back. Elsa and Anna don't remember the heat, though, they remembered looking in awe at the vast amount of art and culture in such a small place.

Town is a generous way to describe Potosi. You can walk from its entrance to the winding back-end streets in twenty minutes. But only taking twenty minutes to walk through would be an insult, not in such a place where there's a different sight and sound in every direction.

The winter season, according to Elsa's research, is one of their busiest because it's not as cold as it is everywhere else, and they completely transform the town in the spirit of the holidays.

Lovely patterns of purple, gold, and white adorn the walls, gorgeous lights are strung up along rooftops and wrapped around trees, and they even offer horse-drawn carriage rides around the perimeter. It's supposed to be gorgeous, and a welcome slice of solitude in their oft-confusing lives.

A two-hour drive doesn't feel like two hours when Anna's with her sister. Countless road trips have prepared them to make use of their time together. But this time feels different, on all those road trips they were merely sisters. Now they're...together. And the more that Anna tries to tell herself that, the less real it feels. When she looks to the left, it's not just her sister that's humming along to Mariah Carey, it's also the woman she loves. The woman who loves her back. The woman that she gets to be with.

It doesn't make sense, and it pains her with guilt that it doesn't make sense.

Aside from their first one, Elsa has always initiated every kiss. Anna reciprocates, and she knows she always wants to kiss Elsa, but there's something holding her back from initiating it once again.

There's always one problem after another, it seems. She can't be content for more than five seconds; it's like there's a bug crawling inside her skin.

And she knows that Elsa can see it, or at least sense it. It's harder than before for Anna to hide when something's wrong. Maybe that's why Elsa wanted to go on this date, to show that there was nothing wrong with their love, that they could make this work. Or maybe Elsa just really wanted to go on a date with her.

With her. With Anna. With her sister.

Anna feels a finger press against her cheek, and she jumps a little bit. Elsa, the culprit, sticks her tongue out at her before focusing her eyes back on the road. "No sad faces on Christmas, queen's orders."

Anna blinks, "Queen's orders? When did you become queen?"

"Right now. I just decided."

"Well, every queen needs a crown and I don't see one on you." Anna slightly lifts up from her chair for exaggerated effect.

"Then I guess I'm going to have to get one." Elsa grins, and it's a stark reminder of why Anna fell for her in the first place. Moments like this, the warm, bright spots that cut through her mind's fog, are few and fleeting. But when they happen, they provide fresh air. And it feels good to be able to breathe. "Thinking about us again?"

It takes a second for Anna to snap out of her dopey gaze. Usually, Elsa lets her process her confusion on her own, but this time she addresses it directly. "Yeah," she says guiltily.

There's a pause for a sigh, or at least where a sigh should be. But all that fills that space is the song fading out, as if to segue them into the next part of this conversation. If Elsa's disappointed, she hides it well. "That's okay," she says. "I knew that it would take some time for you to get used to this. That's why I said we could take it slow."

Anna nods shamefully, unsure of how to respond.

"Do you want me to cut back on the PDA?"

It would help ease her anxiety of getting caught, but selfishly Anna says, "No." Her reddening cheeks and pursed lips keep her from explaining why.

Elsa grins at the sight of her embarrassed younger sister. "Then I won't," she says, unable to hide her own happiness.

"You're so cool about all of this. And it's great, I just...I wish I could do the same."

Long, intertwining highway roads turn into a straight path down as far as the eye can see, and Elsa replies with her trademark comfort. "Anna, I've had three yearsto process these feelings and go through all the stages like anger and depression and stuff. I've had three years to contemplate this, to ask myself the really hard questions like if I really loved you and how that affected my faith. I've had three years to realize that my love for you wasn't going to go away. You've only had a few months."

Anna ponders those words even if she already knows that her sister's right. Who knew that coming to terms with her attraction would actually be one of the easier steps in this twisted journey? She turns to Elsa and asks, "You'll...help me, right?"

"Now and forever, my love."

She rides the high that answer gives her until they arrive at Potosi.


Although it is, in some parts, a real town with actual inhabitants, Potosi does have its share of shops and tourist destinations. That's why even if most of the shops are closed today, there's still enough to see and do for the sisters to make a day of it. And given that barely anyone in Copper Springs travels this far south unless they're doing some sort of mission trip or retreat, the chances of anyone recognizing them are very slim.

Anna feels a little more confident taking Elsa's hand as they walk through the bronze arches of Potosi's main entrance. There's a distinct lack of snow around the town, but the cool December weather still makes itself known through sporadic bursts of wind.

The first stop is the town square which, if memory serves correctly, has a large, juniper tree growing in the center. They pass locals and the occasional tourists such as themselves on the short walk from the entrance, all of them wearing genuine smiles on their faces. Spanish music through the speakers paired with the faint jingling of bells somewhere in the distance gives Anna a different kind of Christmas joy. With a much different spirit than at Copper Springs and Hillside.

The juniper tree is much bigger than either of them remember and it's also decorated in silver tinsel and bright golden lights. The evergreen leaves provide a welcome yet foreign color to this time of year, and around the trunk are clay benches meant for lounging in the tree's shade.

Anna steps inside the cover of the juniper tree, staring in awe at its winding branches and scattered leaves, giggling as the wind picks up again and sends a bit of tinsel fluttering down to her. She catches it and places it right on top of Elsa's head when she comes over to her side.

"What's this?" Elsa asks.

"It's your crown, obviously."

Elsa pokes the thin piece of paper on her head, "Feels a little too flimsy to be a crown."

Anna frowns, "Fine then." She takes the tinsel off her sister's head and presses it against her upper lip. "Now it's a mustache."

Her sister sputters and bats the tinsel off her face, "Blegh! Anna, that was in a tree!"

"And then it was on your lips," Anna jokes, holding back most of her giggles. "See what I did there?"

Elsa wipes any possible tree residue off her lips with the sleeve of her denim jacket. "You know what else is on my lips?"

"What?"

Without hesitation, Elsa steps forward and catches Anna by surprise with a kiss. It's short enough to show they can control themselves in public but long enough that Anna feels the shivers reach down to her toes.

When Elsa pulls away, she takes her sister's hand in her own and leads her through the next stops on her mental itinerary.

They visit sculptures and statues, paintings and murals, a cold, water fountain with a turquoise tile pattern and a large, carved fish in the middle spurting water into the air. Every area felt more unique than the next, and Elsa took pictures during each stop. Some were selfies of her with her arm around Anna, some were candid shots of just Anna, and a couple of them were pictures of Elsa trying to get her phone back from Anna.

Some were blurry, some were oddly framed, some were social media perfect, but regardless Anna knew her sister was going to keep all the pictures. And she would ask Elsa to send her the ones she liked the most.

One of the very few places still open was a tiny bakery tucked away down a dirt path. They would have mistaken it for a small home if it weren't for a wooden sign on top of the front door and the owner beckoning them to come in.

They stepped across the lawn using a stone pathway and almost had to duck their heads to come inside. The adobe brick foundation, decorations based on desert-animal motifs, and quality-grade furniture and appliances made for a comfortable melding of traditional and modern styles. And there was a wonderful, lingering scent of warm bread and cinnamon.

The owner, an old Spanish lady in a colorful, hand-knitted coat that reached down to her knees, ushered them to a wooden table. The language barrier was immediately an issue. The lady didn't know English, and Anna was the only one that vaguely knew Spanish due to her taking Spanish class during freshman year. Which she almost failed.

After three failed attempts to communicate, the lady brought her son, the baker, over to translate for her. And with that awkwardness out of the way, Elsa and Anna finally ordered three different desserts that sounded the best.

Anna swiped Elsa's phone to sneak a picture of her smiling at a large stained-glass silhouette of a salamander, although this time it looked as if her sister hadn't noticed. Of course, even in a quick candid shot, Elsa's beauty is picture perfect.

She sent herself the photo and placed the phone back on the table just as Elsa asked her a question, "You're enjoying yourself, right?"

Anna raised an eyebrow, "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Elsa shrugs, "Ah just nervous, that's all."

"What? But I thought you-"

"No, not about us," Elsa corrected. "Just...dates. In general. I haven't been on a date in a while, let alone planned one, and I want to make sure that you're having fun."

Anna's thankful that she can answer this question without feeling that uncertainty in her gut. "I was having fun with you before we started dating," she reasons.

"True," Elsa says with a smile that shows a significant burden has been lifted off her shoulders. "You're right, I need to relax and focus on the positives. I'm here, with you, and there's no chance that anyone here could recognize us. And you look really cute in that jacket I lent you."

And once again, that feeling of unease mixed with love stirs inside of her like a stale cookie. Not unlike the plate of cookies that have arrived at their table. They're puffy and topped with crushed walnuts or almonds. When the old lady sets them down, Anna figures out what desserts may have attributed to that lingering cinnamon smell. They're apparently called mantecados, and Anna instinctively goes to reach for one before she sees her sister with her head ducked down and reciting a silent prayer. She's hesitant to join in, instead she waits patiently with her hands folded in her lap.

About half a minute later, Elsa lifts her head up and with a delighted hum, she says, "Alright, let's dig in." She doesn't ask whether or not Anna prayed; it's odd, but not as odd as Anna not feeling any guilt over forgetting to pray. If she actually forgot.

When Anna takes a bite out of a mantecado, she knows that it's all over. The soft, crumbly texture and the cinnamon sweet flavor make her mind wonder why she's never had anything like this before. And one look at Elsa's face tells her that she loves it just as much. Soon, they've devoured the whole plate save for one cookie, which Elsa triumphantly snatches.

Of course, being the caring older sister that she is, she grins proudly before splitting the cookie in half and giving Anna the bigger piece.

Next, they have something called hojaldrinas, which is once again brought on a plate for them to share. They're puff pastries with powdered sugar sifted on top, and while they might look simple to make, Anna knows she wouldn't be able to make them in a million years. They have a flaky, buttery texture to them, and when she tastes one there's a hint of orange flavor that surprises her. And something else too, something familiar but she can't recall. She's careful not to get any powdered sugar on Elsa's hoodie, even if she makes no plans to give it back any time soon.

There's not much time for conversation in between these desserts other than to compliment how delicious they are, and how much they want to buy up everything in the bakery. The old lady periodically, when not attending to the sparse amount of other customers, will ask if they're okay. Anna, thankfully knowing what that means, will say "Sí" and "Gracias" in return.

The main course is, surprise, served on another plate and is something called alfajores. They're cookies pressed together like a sandwich with a caramel spread in the middle and coconut flakes sprinkled along the rim. Anna tries one and immediately wishes she could have them for every meal. Even Elsa, who isn't the biggest fan of coconut, enjoys them without having to pick away the flakes. Partly because she's too polite to do so.

When it comes time to pay, the language barrier is amusingly easier to get through. The old lady gives them a number, and Anna found out how to say "Keep the change" thanks to Google Translate. Before they leave, the lady gives them a bag of mantecados free of charge even though they insist on paying. Her only response is to shake her head and to say "Hacen una linda pareja".

Anna makes a note to figure out what that means later.


An hour later, they're off their feet and nestled in the back of an aforementioned horse-drawn carriage. Thankfully, the driver knows English and there's no need for translation. In fact, he even gives them a discount because it's Christmas.

Elsa rests her head against Anna's shoulder and lets out a content sigh. Earlier in the day they traded jackets when Anna realized she could brave the cold here without needing such a thick hoodie. That, and Elsa requested to wear her puffy jacket and she wasn't about to disappoint the birthday girl.

Anna was surprised to see her sister bundle herself up in the hoodie, remarking that she usually likes the cold. Elsa's response was "Oh I do, but this jacket smells like you and I love it."

It's a valid point, the denim doesn't capture a lot of Elsa's scent but Anna won't complain about getting to wear two of her sister's jackets in one day.

Anna's too caught up with thinking about something else unhelpful that she doesn't catch what Elsa says. "What's that?" she asks.

Elsa wraps her fingers around the back of Anna's hand. "I said I wish it could be like this all the time."

"You'd need a lot of gas money," Anna jokes.

"Oh you know what I mean, dummy." After a second of silence, she adds, "It just feels nice to finally have some time where...we don't have to hide, you know?"

"I know. I wish it could always feel this easy," Anna laments, but for her own reasons. The afternoon sun barely passes the top of the carriage, and for a moment all they can hear is the melodic trot of the horses and the rustling of leaves along the dirt road.

Elsa lets out a long sigh, "But no...I've gotta go back to school soon. A-and I'll have to leave you so soon after getting to be with you. It sucks. It-it really sucks."

Anna pokes her sister's cheek through the puffy hood, "Hey, what did you say about sad faces on Christmas?"

"That...they're okay if it's the birthday girl making them?"

"I mean if that's what you want."

Elsa sits up and takes off her hood, her eyes are alight with something that Anna's finally learning to realize is love. Pure, unashamed love. It's a look she hopes to show her sister even more of one day. "What I want is you," Elsa declares. "Always."

The carriage turns a corner and starts down a short end of the trail where the town and parking lot are mostly covered by clay walls. And perhaps it's this that finally causes Anna to build up enough courage to do what she hadn't done in a while. Unfortunately, Elsa beats her to it and captures her lips once more.

Elsa doesn't try to hide her joyful hum or the fingers she places delicately along Anna's cheek, and for Anna, well, she allows this new feeling to stir in her. This feeling which comes from the knowledge that, even for a brief second, she felt brave enough to kiss her sister again. This impulse may not come again anytime soon, but what matters is she felt it at this moment. Which means it can happen again. And isn't it just like the spirit of this season that hope is found when she's needing it the most.

It's Christmas, and she's on a date with the woman she loves in a place that only they know. And in a year that's threatened to take everything from her, Anna's glad that one gift still remains. A gift that wants to stay just as much as she never wants her to leave.

Anna didn't start the kiss, but with a hand reaching over to press against Elsa's back she'll make damn sure that she's the one that ends it.