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the crescent moon [above his forehead]

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As soon as the engine of Jacob’s car shuts off, his phone chirps with a text notification. He reads Kevin’s text as he gets out of the car, headed to meet his best friend for their routine Saturday dinner “date”. His phone notifications ding a couple of times as Kevin rapid-fire texts and Jacob can’t help smiling at the messages.

I’m 99% sure I got my timing right and 

ur arriving like now because my timing is impeccable 


oh I literally have a window I just saw u pulling in




so the thing is,,,

I may have Done A Thing that might make 

me want to stay in for tonight, perhaps


;^) don’t worry tho, it may have made

me sexier ;^)

Lol okay, staying in is fine w/ me

I hope you didn’t let your followers

make you do something

As Jacob makes his way to Kevin’s apartment, his message app shows Kevin typing and then stopping; Jacob figures Kevin just plans on showing him in person. He’s right, because they’ve been best friends since they were in diapers and he knows that Kevin loves drama, and when Kevin opens his apartment door it’s with a “Taaah daaah!” and a little jazz hand. And Jacob’s brain proceeds to short circuit. 

His brain, wheezing probably, valiantly supplies him with one response: 

“Oh fuck, you’re an e-boy,” he blurts out. 

It punches a laugh out of Kevin and he looks a little shy as he runs his hand through his hair, ruffling the new blonde sections framing his face. The contrast between the blonde and inky black of Kevin’s hair somehow blindsides Jacob in a way he doesn’t have the time to examine.

Jacob isn’t sure “sexier” is how he’d describe Kevin’s new bleach job but it definitely stirs something in Jacob's stomach—and heart. But for now, he’ll tuck that away because he seems to have forgotten his basic motor functions and Kevin has taken it upon himself to pull Jacob the rest of the way into his apartment. Kevin, thank goodness, he thinks, doesn’t seem to notice his minor freak out and continues to just laugh at what’s probably a mix of shock and fascination on Jacob's face.

“Bro, your face right now. Damn, wish I could show my followers your reaction!” Kevin laughs over his shoulder after leading a still frozen Jacob into his living room. 

And yeah, Jacob reminds himself, that’s right. Kevin has viewers, fans, followers, whatever you call them.  


Because Kevin is a camboy. 


Has been for over a year now. They don’t talk about it often—or more like Kevin doesn’t talk about it often. Jacob respects that, figuring that Kevin just doesn’t want to get into the particularities of his occupation. 

Every time he’s reminded of it though, Jacob doesn’t like how much he wishes they would talk about it. 

He thinks it looks nice, the blonde. Kevin currently has his hair styled with a middle part so the blonde streaks brush against both of his cheekbones. He’s moved towards his couch and motions for Jacob to join him. Jacob ends up sitting on the armrest next to the younger, providing a new angle to look at his blonde bangs. Kevin is fussing with it, and then he asks Jacob something. 

“What?” Jacob feels a little bad as Kevin pouts, thinking he was getting ignored. Jacob isn’t too sure he wants his strategy for amending Kevin’s pursed-lips to be admitting he’s been just staring at his hair, fully captivated.


Yeah, actually, his hair looks really nice.


“I said, how about just ordering the usual and getting it delivered here? And before you ask, I don’t feel like going out because I still wanna see how I feel about this hair,” Kevin flicks his bangs as he replies, still kind of pouting, and Jacob makes a mental note that it appears that Kevin didn’t cut his hair and just did the bleach job. So his hair is still the same length. 

Just a mental note. Normal. Keeping track of your pal’s hair length is super normal. 

Jacob manages to answer Kevin’s question and while Kevin proceeds to pull out his phone and order their food, Jacob just stares. He isn’t particularly sure why the blond streaks framing Kevin’s face are so… distracting? They’re new, for one thing. They frame his best friend’s angular face differently now, a change from the long-ish black hair Kevin had been working on growing out. That thought immediately astral projects Jacob’s brain to the time Kevin had drunkenly told him that he was growing it out because one of his followers commented that his hair was the perfect length to grip.

“Beef or pork?” Kevin’s voice cuts clear through Jacob’s brain melt, and he realizes that he’s been staring at the crown of Kevin’s head for way too long. Luckily, Kevin has been preoccupied with ordering their dinner so he didn’t notice Jacob’s blatant staring. Jacob still flushes a little, glad for the small mercy of Kevin being engrossed with his phone.

“Both? You get one, I’ll take the other.” Jacob is proud that he’s able to keep up the thread of conversation. He’s also not sure why Kevin’s face is looking especially lovely tonight.

They eventually settle on their order with the intention to share and Jacob mildly thinks about how domestic this is. He quickly tucks those sentiments aside and decides to probe for answers.

“So, your hair,” Jacob begins. He can’t help his hand that lightly brushes against Kevin’s shoulder. The urge to touch suddenly overtakes every thought in Jacob’s brain and he runs his fingers through the ends of Kevin’s newly bleached hair. Kevin flinches a little at the initial pull but then leans into Jacob’s touch.

“I put a poll on Twitter about what to do about my hair and e-girl hair ended up being number one. Just did it myself, too,” Kevin grins brightly and Jacob can’t help but mirror it.

“I think it looks really good, Kev,” Jacob says, hopelessly honest when he sees a little insecurity in Kevin’s smile. Kevin preens, pushing his cheek closer into Jacobs’s palm. Tonight, Kevin’s wearing sweatpants and one of Jacob’s old hoodies. Jacob likes Kevin like this, comfortable and warm, and wearing something of his.

“Doesn’t it feel inevitable?” Kevin sighs dramatically then, waving his phone for emphasis. “I’m a person on the internet, I have a following and well,” Kevin slightly pauses then, as he sometimes does when he talks about his camboy stuff. “They call me an e-boy already when I stream so felt like this would’ve happened eventually. Guess I just wanted the Twitter interaction, ha!” Jacob just nods. He follows all of Kevin’s social media and though he doesn’t really check it, he’s definitely seen comments calling Kevin an e-boy. And various other depraved comments.

“What’s next on the e-boy checklist then?” Jacob jokes but his hand is still on Kevin’s cheek and when he slides it to rest on the back of Kevin’s neck, the younger fully leans into it. The casual touching they do is normal but tonight, with Kevin’s new hair and Jacob feeling particularly soft, it feels a little charged.

“Facial piercings probs, but that’s so much work. Maybe dyeing this neon green, à la our girl Billie.” Jacob’s brain supplies him with the image of Kevin with neon green hair framing his face and he immediately shelves whatever he felt just then into the recess of his mind.

The rest of the night is pretty standard fare. They eat their food while watching a movie—Kevin has been on an “artsy thriller film” spree and Jacob has been attempting to get better at watching scary movies—and by the time the credits roll, the two of them are cuddling.

This happens a lot, Jacob thinks. Kevin has a habit of grabbing something—Jacob’s arm, hand—when something shocking happens on screen and Jacob still needs the occasional reassurance when he gets nervous; because they recognize each other’s cues, Kevin knows that pulling Jacob closer to him soothes him.

“So, the lesson is that actually, humans were the real monsters in the end! Very original,” Kevin bemoans, letting his head fall back to catch Jacob’s eye. His back is pressed to Jacob’s front and Jacob’s arms are wrapped loosely around Kevin’s torso.

“Hey, I thought the girl was pretty justified and she looked very cool with that kitchen knife,” Jacob huffs a laugh as Kevin rolls his eyes. The movie is over but instead of moving off him, Kevin adjusts himself to press closer to Jacob. His breath catches as Kevin twists a little in his arms and settles on his side so they can look at each other face to face. Jacob is abruptly reminded of the blonde hair framing his friend’s face.

“You’re just saying that because she’s hot! She’s definitely your type.” Jacob is a bit thrown off by the sudden reference to his bisexuality but he gets a weird burst of boldness that may be influenced by having his exact ideal person in his arms.

“She’s definitely not my type, but she looks like you and that helps,” Jacob says this and instantly wracks his brain to confirm that the actress had blonde streaks in her hair. This seems to throw off Kevin and his mouth is slightly agape, silent. Jacob shifts nervously but slightly tightens his arms around Kevin, perhaps a subconscious fear that his best friend will run away from him.

“It’s the blonde,” Jacob offers, and Kevin immediately scrunches his face, the charged air from a moment ago instantly dissipating.

“Seriously? Just because I got the e-girl bleach bangs and suddenly anyone with blonde streaks looks like me? Jake, my guy, your eyes, get them checked, I can’t even,” Kevin is sputtering now and Jacob is laughing loudly because Kevin looks so offended. He knows he’s really not, and he catches Kevin’s fond smile when he finishes his little laughing fit.




It’s 5 AM on a Wednesday, Jacob has a morning class in four hours and he’s completely wound up. His Master’s thesis seems to be going fine but his advisor sent him a cryptic email asking to have a meeting and his nerves have been on edge for the past two weeks over various other impending assignments.

It also doesn’t help that on top of being so busy he couldn’t even just hang out with him, he had to cancel his and Kevin’s Saturday dinner last week because of an “irregularity” his advisor found and was insistent Jacob fix it immediately. It took two days of extra research to fix it—and it was worth it, of course—but Jacob finds that seeing Kevin and just hanging out with him is the best stress reliever.

Jacob also may have been checking Kevin’s socials a lot more often than he usually does.

Those damn blonde streaks are haunting him. Over the past two weeks, Kevin figured out how he likes to style his new hair and it’s kind of ruining Jacob. And because Kevin is a giver, he shares the wealth with his normal account and his camboy one. When Kevin first started camming, he was a little reluctant to let Jacob follow his “camboy socials” but eventually figured that they’ve seen each other naked already, Kevin had never been shy about sharing the details of his sex life with Jacob, and one more number on his follower list wouldn’t hurt. Kevin did something to his account though (“I muted myself so you’ll never see my posts,” Kevin informed him and Jacob had to try really hard to hide his disappointment) so Jacob has to actively go out of his way to search up Kevin’s camboy account.

It’s one of Jacob’s most closely held secrets that he sometimes watches Kevin’s live streams.

The first time started one night, about 5 months ago, when Jacob, exhausted and horny, was particularly in his feelings about his decade-long pining for his best friend. He was mindlessly scrolling when a picture from Kevin’s normal account popped up. He was wearing a shirt he “stole” from Jacob and looked especially glowy, the morning sunrise light hitting his face just so. Jacob had taken the photo when they went on a hike before the semester started and the whole combo of Kevin in his shirt looking perfect and the sometimes suffocating love he feels for his best friend had made him desperate for some sort of release. He fully intended to just scroll through Kevin’s camboy Twitter feed where he posts borderline explicit photos and jack off to those but when he clicked on Kevin’s profile, the most recent tweet wasn’t a photo. It was a link, posted 20 minutes earlier.

Kevin was live streaming.

Jacob’s finger had hovered over the link for a good 5 minutes; he even clicked away from Kevin’s account, closed the app, turned his phone off, but his horny brain won out in the end, probably feeling vindictive about all his pining. So he settled in his bed, earphones in, and clicked the link. He almost stopped because the site wanted him to make an account, but he did it because he committed when he clicked that link.

And just like that, his best friend was on his phone screen, naked.

Jacob thinks he might’ve blacked out for a second that night. His brain was having a hard time taking in the dissonance between the Kevin he knows, his best friend who laughed so hard at his own dad joke that beer shot out of his nostrils, with the Kevin on his little phone screen fucking himself open with a bright pink dildo.

“Fuck, ah, yeah, taking this dick so well, feels so good,” Kevin moaned and Jacob was definitely sure he blacked out for a second. The camera angle was showing Kevin on his floor—Jacob felt like he wanted to scream as he recognized exactly where in Kevin’s apartment he was—and Kevin, facing sideways so you could clearly see the dildo enter into his lean body, was on his knees, lifting himself up and slamming back down on the dildo, moaning as he tossed his head back. He was wearing fishnet tights and his lithe body was shiny with sweat, the prettiest flush across his chest. Some of his black hair was stuck to his face and when he reached up to wipe it out of his eyes, he made eye contact with the camera.


Jacob froze, feeling like he was caught.

He was also hard as fuck.


“I know you all want to fuck me. Watch me taking this dick s-so good, my hole is so fucking tight, think about how tight it’d be around your cock.” Jacob had thought he’d heard just about the whole spectrum of Kevin’s voice but now he knew what Kevin sounds like when he’s slowly jerking himself off and bouncing on a cock, breath catching when he feels good. It’s absolutely maddening.

He really did wish he was there, with Kevin. He could have driven over to Kevin’s, barge in because they have keys to each other’s places, pick up his breathlessly beautiful best friend off the floor, carry him to Kevin’s queen-size bed, and fuck him to completion there.

He wouldn’t, he couldn’t, because Kevin is his best friend and that was that. Jacob has long accepted that he is just not Kevin’s type and has no chance to even be considered for a fuck buddy relationship. 

Jacob was yanked from his sad brooding when a particularly loud moan sliced through his horny brain fog. 

“Fuck, fuck, so fucking deep, I’m, ah, so close, want you to come with me,” Kevin’s head was hanging to the side, and he looked beautiful. At some point, he had repositioned himself to face the camera directly and Jacob understood at that moment why Kevin has fans. He looked directly into the camera, his cat-like eyes piercing through Jacob’s screen, one hand jerking himself off while the other slid up his chest, brushing over a pert nipple on its way up, up, up, up to him shoving his fingers into his mouth, moaning around the digits lewdly. Kevin tilted his head up a bit, exposing the long line of his neck, and while maintaining eye contact, licked and sucked on his fingers, moaning like it’d kill him if he didn’t. 


Jacob knows he can last way longer but the shock of seeing Kevin like that, fucked up and getting fucked, pornographic moans drilling directly into Jacob’s ear, and just the want he felt for his friend meant that it only took a few more strokes on his own cock for him to come, his vision whiting out as Camboy Kevin breathly moaned, “Yes, ah fuck, love for you to come inside me.” 


Camboy Kevin came a moment later as Jacob returned to earth from his high and he realized that he’d be haunted by the knowledge of what Kevin looks and sounds like when he comes with a dick in his ass for the rest of his fucking life. 

Jacob continued watching a little longer and watched as Kevin asked his viewers, asked Jacob, “Did I do well? Was I good for you?” The little bit of desperation he heard felt a little too real for Jacob and he immediately closed the tab and threw his phone across his room in shame. 


Jacob tried his very best to never even think about watching a stream again but all it took was that one taste and he couldn’t help but want more. 


He tries to be logical with it. Only watch Kevin’s stream when he’s truly, truly desperate, only scroll through Kevin’s camboy social media when it’s late and he needs to get off fast. Separate his Kevin from Camboy Kevin. It sort of works—he’s able to look Kevin in the eye when they hang out and can go weeks without thinking about it. And really, he’s only caught his live streams a few times, often settling with just ogling his photos. 

Jacob thought he could categorize Camboy Kevin’s whole thing as “just for sexual pleasure” but he quickly figured out he can’t because it’s Kevin and he’s been in love with his gorgeous best friend for way too long for him to not begin wanting this too. 

So now it’s 5 AM on a Wednesday, he’s tired and horny, still very much in love with Kevin and missing his presence, and he’s ready to scroll through Camboy Kevin’s Twitter when he sees the most recent tweet. 


It’s a link.


Why is Kevin up at 5 AM? He has work tomorrow, he literally texted Jacob complaining about how he wasn’t looking forward to pitching a design to his asshole supervisor some 7 hours ago. Jacob heavily considers not clicking the link, but it’s been a rough two weeks and he’s desperate— one of the arbitrary requirements Jacob created himself—so he commits to his depravity and clicks the link. 


The stream started almost an hour ago so Kevin looking a little wrecked isn’t too surprising. 

It’s what Kevin is wearing that makes Jacob feel like he can’t breathe. 


It’s one of Jacob’s sweaters. Kevin picked it out from his closet a couple of weeks ago when he slept over and it’s currently bunched up to his neck, the burgundy fabric matching the flush of Kevin’s naked body. He’s sitting in his computer chair, slowly fucking a vibrator into himself. Kevin, for all it’s worth, manages to stay pretty calm, the flush and slight sheen of sweat being the only indicator of his exertion. “Yeah, I, a-ah, couldn’t sleep. Pitch day and stuff, meh,” Kevin speaks like he isn’t currently upping the strength of his vibrator as he pushes it deeper into himself. The contrast is wrecking Jacob’s entire world and he thinks that he might actually pass out. Kevin is reading comments apparently, and at some point, he smiles a bit too fondly for a live stream of him fucking himself on a vibrator. 

“The sweater is actually my best friend’s and I don’t want to dirty it, so no, I will not come on this,” he says this coyly, unbeknownst to him that those words nearly make Jacob come untouched. Jacob grips his cock as he pulls it out from his sweats, determined to last longer than that. A bit mindlessly, Jacob notes that Kevin has the blonde streaks brushed to one side. It looks nice and is how Kevin had been styling it the past couple of days. 

“Alright babes, it’s been lovely but it’s almost 6 AM for your favorite e-boy and I do have to go to work in like, 4 hours,” Kevin smiles genially and begins to speed up the hand holding the vibrator. He leans his head back onto the headrest of his chair and through narrowed eyes, makes eye contact with the camera. 

“Ah, actually,” Kevin gasps out, using his free hand to brush over his nipples, and then through his hair. “Highest tipper gets their name on my mouth when I come.” He smirks then and leans forward so he can read his screen. He’s still fucking himself, stroking his own length, his hand slapping against his thigh every time he buries the vibrator into himself. Jacob can hear the little dings every time someone tips and as Kevin obviously gets closer to finishing, he’s looking at the screen for a name. When Kevin’s brows raise, it appears the highest tipper has been found.


“Jake,” Kevin’s voice rings loudly in Jacob’s ears and he freezes, his blood running cold. He grips his cock a little tighter. 


Kevin has a weird look on his face, looking a bit contemplative; he doesn’t look uncomfortable but he bites his lip and begins to worry at it for a second too long. The pause is long enough for commentators to notice. 

“Ah, yeah, yes, thank you, Jake,” Kevin gets out finally, shaking his head slightly like he’s clearing his head and Jacob speeds up his own strokes on his cock. Kevin leans back into his chair, the sultry aura he puts on back in full force. His free hand roams all over his body, and when he squeezes his thigh, Jacob closes his eyes. 

“Thinking of your cock in me J-Jake, fucking, ah fuck, into me so good, so so good, ah, ah, Jake, Jakey, please.” 

Jacob comes about the same time Kevin does, letting Kevin’s groan settle in his brain. When he opens his eyes again to watch the stream, Kevin is lazily smearing his release on his stomach and using, hopefully, a clean hand to push up his sweater —Jacob’s sweater— a little up. 

“Mhm, and I managed to keep this clean. A job well done, if I may say so myself,” and Kevin smiles so brightly, the flush over his cheek making him look almost angelic as if he wasn’t just fucking himself with a sex toy. Kevin says his goodbyes then and the stream ends. 


Jacob is back to being in his bed, spent, tired, and a little more in love with his best friend.


He cleans himself up, and as he tucks himself into bed at 5:59 AM, he thinks that he needs to somehow tell Kevin his feelings.




On Friday morning Jacob thinks that no, he should absolutely not tell Kevin about his decade-long pining. 

“It’d ruin us, right?” Jacob asks, nervously drinking his second cup of coffee of the morning. Sunwoo pushes a scone closer to Jacob, continuing their friend group’s effort to get Jacob to eat at least something in the first half of the day. 

“No, actually, I don’t think so. No, shut up, let me finish Jacob,” Sunwoo holds a finger up, silencing Jacob’s inevitable rant about how uncomfortable Kevin would be knowing his best friend has been creepily pining after him since they were in middle school. Sunwoo has heard this spiel already, both from stone-cold sober Jacob and whiney drunk Jacob. 

“Firstly, eat this fucking scone or I will shove it down your throat myself because I’m not about to deal with Kevin eviscerating me for failing to feed you this fine morning.” Jacob pouts but begins to pick at the scone. Sunwoo stares at him intently until Jacob begins actually eating the pastry. When he does, his friend relaxes and leans back into the cafe chair. 

“Full disclosure, the following advice may rock your world and I’m only telling you this now because I fully know you’re at like, 30 percent functioning capacity due to your thesis destroying you thus you won’t freak out.” Jacob frowns, but Sunwoo isn’t wrong. His advisor’s cryptic email from two days ago was cryptic because there is now a whole section of his thesis that may have to be rewritten because of new research being released. His full focus had to immediately shift from thinking about Kevin wearing his burgundy sweater to his thesis, but now that he’s in a bit of limbo of rewriting and not rewriting, his brain can afford some space to think about Kevin wearing more of his clothes during streams Jacob didn’t watch. 

“Firstly,” Sunwoo starts again, and Jacob is feeling feisty this morning.

“I’m eating the scone so you already got that established,” he notes, putting on his most angelic expression he can manage at the moment. Sunwoo looks like he’s one second away from shoving the rest of the scone in Jacob’s face but decides that he’ll spare the angel of their friend group. 

“Okay, you ass, secondly, I would not be giving you this advice if I wasn’t at least strongly confident in things turning out okay,” Sunwoo stares at Jacob, and for a moment he remembers that his friends really do care about him and never pitied or shamed him for his pining over Kevin. Jacob just nods then, sensing that throwing a joke out right now might actually get a scone shoved down his throat. Sunwoo looks a little uncertain and he pauses before he speaks again. 

“Telling Kevin your feelings for him, and being very clear that you’ve had them for so long, wouldn’t ruin anything between you two. As disgusting as it is, the two of you really do have a bond that something like confessing would not ruin your relationship.” And Sunwoo is looking at Jacob like he needs to understand some unsaid thing and Jacob wishes he had the mental energy to comprehend it but his brain is filled with complicated formulas from the new Swedish research paper. So he just sips his coffee and nods and he can see that Sunwoo knows he didn’t fully grasp his advice. Sunwoo, for all his attempts at making himself seem like he has an abrasive personality, cares deeply for his friends, so Jacob does appreciate his friend at least listening to his woos. He tells Sunwoo as much and the younger just sighs but affords him a smile. 

“Well, as you’ve told me, tonight will be the first time you’ve seen Kevin since, what, two weeks ago?” Jacob leans back into his chair and eats the last bite of the scone.

“About two weeks for just about all of you, actually,” Jacob smiles, genuinely excited for their friend group’s planned party to celebrate Chanhee’s birthday. His thesis sucks up a lot of his free time and more often than not, he only gets to see his friends in small mix-matched groups. It takes a herculean amount of effort to plan for all 12 of them to meet but so far, over the years they’ve known each other, they all manage to make time for a birthday. Sunwoo nods and even he can’t keep the grin off his face. Suddenly, his face morphs into his most mischievous expression, a very common sight from one of the youngest in their group. 


“Shall I tell you about the absolute fucking joke of a gift I got Chanhee?” and Jacob is reminded why Chanhee teases Sunwoo the most. 




They’re going to celebrate Chanhee’s birthday at a local restaurant-bar owned by one of Eric’s friend’s parents. They’ve actually celebrated all of their birthdays at least once at this restaurant and Chanhee was apparently feeling a bit sentimental when he decided he wanted them to eat there first and then go haunt one of their favorite clubs. Jacob isn’t complaining; the food is consistently solid, uncomplicated, and the owners like their friend group enough to occasionally give them a free bottle of wine. Tonight though, they look ridiculous because they’re dressed for the club but eating at a family restaurant. Predictably, that stopped none of them. 

Chanhee, ever the show-off, is dressed in a cropped, heavily sequined jacket, a white skin-tight shirt, and latex-looking pants. The pink birthday hat on him is an absurd contrast to his outfit but he looks like he’s having the time of his life. Similarly, other members of their group are dressed for clubbing and some are absolutely out to seduce a couple of people. Juyeon is one of them and is wearing a completely sheer turtleneck but Sangyeon, ever the dad, forced him to wear a jacket if only to spare the middle-aged moms in the restaurant from their friend’s sculpted body. 


And then there’s Kevin. 


With his foray into camming, the assumption used to be that he’d dress especially sexily for outings like this. The reality is that Kevin still prioritizes comfort when he goes out. Tonight, he’s taking cues from his e-boy hair and is wearing a cropped neon green hoodie to show off his toned stomach and ripped skinny jeans with a complicated-looking belt and chain situation. He’s also wearing those fishnet tights, its elastic band tight around his stomach, way above the waistband of his jeans. Jacob has to remind himself that he technically does not know that Kevin owns those tights so when his best friend hugs him when he arrives, he tugs at the black band of the tights when Kevin pulls back slightly, the elastic snapping against Kevin’s skin. 

“These are new,” Jacob tries to sound as casual as possible, hands hovering over Kevin’s hips. Kevin’s arms are still around Jacob’s neck, having not pulled away completely from the hug and he runs his fingers through the hair on the back of Jacob’s head. Jacob’s entranced by the tights, and when he looks up, Kevin’s face is very close to his. 

“Had ‘em sitting in the closet for a while, figured they’d match for today!” Kevin’s fond smirk and the familiar warmth of him in Jacob's arms nearly dissipates all his fatigue. Jacob fully has his hands on his best friend’s waist now and Kevin is sliding himself to stick to Jacob’s side, all the while keeping an arm around his shoulder. 

Kevin has styled his hair tonight to really emphasize his e-boy look. He curled it a little and the blonde streaks with a wave in them frame his face differently and soften Kevin’s sharp cheekbones. He’s gorgeous.

“Hey, how you doing, by the way,” Kevin’s voice murmurs right into his ear and Jacob glances to look at Kevin. Their friend group is loud, with several of them yelling at each other yet Kevin’s full attention is on Jacob. They texted throughout the past two weeks but even just replying had been difficult for Jacob due to how much stress he had been under. He lets himself think that maybe he wasn’t the only one who missed the other. 

This close up, the blonde hair makes Kevin look a little ethereal and Jacob can see his best friend has some eye make-up on, his cat-like eyes looking extra sultry with glitter sparkling in the dim street light. Jacob squeezes the hand on Kevin’s waist and leans into his side a little more, letting himself have this, the comfortable touching they share. Kevin seems to be extra touchy too as he keeps brushing a hand over Jacob’s forearm, pressing a hand to the small of his back, leaning into Jacob. 


“Better now,” Jacob says lowly, turning his head slightly into the crook of Kevin’s neck, making the younger’s breath catch. “Feeling much better now.”


Kevin’s hand slides from where it was hanging over his shoulder and on its way down Jacob’s back he gasps when his hand catches in the back of the suit jacket that he’s wearing. He quickly peels himself away from Jacobs' side and turns him to look at his back and he ooos loudly. 

“Chanheeeeeee, you genius! You’ve done it! Thank you for getting our angel into something a little sexy for tonight!” Kevin calls out and their friend group all gather around for a peek; Jacob feels his face flush. 

Jacob usually keeps his club attire pretty basic because he really only goes when his friends want to and he rarely goes with the intention to seduce anyone. Chanhee knows this and the fashion designer preemptively picked out his outfit, a service he did for several others in their friend group. Chanhee has a vision for his birthday picture and he wasn’t going to let any of the other 11 guys in the friend group not look the part. 

For Jacob, who makes it a point to work out and thus over the past few years has toned his body into something worth Instagramming about, Chanhee felt like it would be a crime to not show it off. So Jacob’s outfit is just a black suit jacket and matching black fitted trousers; the jacket is only buttoned on the bottom creating a deep-V to show off Jacob’s chest and Chanhee’s addition—or well, subtraction—was cutting out panels on the upper part of the back of the jacket, exposing Jacob’s back muscles. Jacob isn’t particularly vain but he can’t help but feel a little egotistical when all 11 of his friends, who are all hot, are gassing him up. Kevin is also definitely extra touchy tonight, and his hands are sliding over Jacob’s shoulders and then: 

“Kevin, keep ya hands to yourself, ohmigod!” Eric yells but it’s too late as Kevin tucks his hand under the lapels of the jacket and boldly slides a hand down Jacob’s bare chest, his hand resting over Jacob's left pec. The first thought that Jacob has is that he’s worried that Kevin will feel how fast his heart is beating. When he looks at Kevin’s face though, his expression is, well. 

He looks captivated, he thinks. The street lights and glow from the restaurant only provide so much light but Jacob has memorized his best friends face by this point and he can see the flush over his cheeks, the way his brows are the slightest bit furrowed, the particular way the corner of his lips turn down when he’s focusing. He’s seen this expression before, though usually it’s aimed at some beautiful art piece. 

The moment doesn’t last long because Sangyeon is herding them into the restaurant, yelling at them to hurry up. Kevin looks away, giving his pec a little pat-pat before he slides it out from his jacket, and starts making his way towards the door. Jacob is dazed and Kevin, without looking back, seems to sense this and blindly grabs for Jacob’s hand. He meets Kevin’s hand midway and when Kevin intertwines their fingers together, he can’t help but remember Sunwoo’s words: “something like confessing would not ruin your relationship.”




The whole meal is excellent. They’re all voracious eaters so they easily make their way through the family-sized dishes. When the owner comes out to say hello and gives them three bottles of wine on the house, Kevin notes that it was likely due to Haknyeon finishing off three huge dishes the other boys couldn’t manage. For all their rowdiness and antics, they’re not assholes so the meal goes by relatively peacefully. Sunwoo and Jaehyun only get one hard slap each on their arms from Chanhee which means they kept their clowning to a publicly appropriate level. The club will be a free-for-all and Jacob figures they’ll really rip into him after the third bottle of wine settles in. 


Kevin, notably, isn’t drinking much. 


Jacob first noticed it when Changmin, sitting across from the two, offered to refill Kevin’s glass. “It’s a one-glass-of-free-wine kinda night for me, honey,” Kevin says, and even Hyunjoon gasps. Changmin, unfazed, just shrugs and drinks straight from the bottle. There wasn’t much left anyway, Jacob thinks. 

“Sir, who the fuck are you? It’s free!” Hyunjoon’s shock is warranted as Kevin usually uses these get-togethers to get pretty drunk and let Jacob drive him home. Which, without even talking about it before, Jacob just assumed was the case tonight, too. Kevin is saved from anymore questioning because dessert is being served and both Hyunjoon and Eric pounce on it. 

“Am I still driving you home?” Jacob finally asks Kevin while everyone is stealing bites from each other’s plates. Kevin is depositing some chocolate cake onto Jacob’s plate when he answers simply, “Yes please.” Jacob nods, still a little lost as to why Kevin isn’t reveling in the free wine but thinks maybe he plans on drinking at the club. 

Chanhee on the other hand. He and Younghoon delegated one of the bottles just for them and despite his fiery attitude, Chanhee is a sappy drunk. He’s not drunk yet but he’s maybe a fourth of the way there. 

“To think, three bottles! God this year has fucking sucked but three bottles of free wine is going to get me through this!” Chanhee hits the table for emphasis. 

“Babe, hate to break it to you but we literally have 8 months left in this year,” Kevin laughs and Chanhee looks appalled. 


Maybe a third of the way there, actually. 




The trip to the club is a short walk and the one they go to has a manager who’s friends with Eric. Jacob is still dumbfounded on how Eric even meets this amount of people, but Hyunjoon just shakes his head before Jacob can even start. But, because Eric is friends with the manager, they get a nice table that fits all 12 of them. 

They do have to sort of squeeze next to another party of people—smaller, maybe only 6 of them—but it doesn’t really matter because once they order drinks, almost all of them leave to go dance. 

Kevin tries to pull Jacob along with him but leaving Sangyeon with a sleepy Haknyeon to manage the comically large drink order feels cruel. Jacob doesn’t even have to say anything, just nods in their direction, and the small smile Kevin gives him as an answer warms his heart. Kevin tilts his head and asks, “Later though?” and Jacob nods, always interested in feeling Kevin dance close to him. With a little squeeze of his hand, Kevin joins their friends on the dance floor and Jacob sets up to keep Hakneyon awake. 


About an hour in, Kevin is still not drunk. Far from it actually, he’s only taken a couple of sips of his margarita (“We’re all getting fruity girly drinks, you cannot stop me, gender doesn’t exist,” Chanhee announced.) but mostly keeps his hand on his water glass. Jacob doesn’t ever monitor Kevin this much on his drinking habits but he’s not used to his best friend’s strange behavior. 

All 12 of them are sitting at the table now, and only just then realizing how tight of a fit it is; Kevin, who’s sitting at the end, ends up essentially sitting right next to some guy from the party next to theirs. The other party is nice about it, and when Kevin and the guy next to him bump into each other they both laugh and introduce themselves. Jacob, sitting next to Kevin, inevitability also gets introduced to Minho. He seems nice enough but Jacob’s attention is pulled away to focus on Sunwoo who’s currently taunting Chanhee about his dating history. A few minutes later Chanhee’s focus zeroes in on Kevin. 

“Kevin, you skinny ass, why is your drink still full,” and Kevin looks up from his conversation with Minho. Jacob is definitely imagining it, but he thinks Minho has scooted closer to Kevin. 

Kevin, now in the spotlight, looks a little indignant and huffs.

“I have a thing,” Kevin gives all of them a look and Jacob instantly feels winded when he realizes Kevin is talking about his camming. “After this that I’d rather not be drunk for,” and Chanhee takes a second to process this. 


It’s watching a car wreck in slow motion as almost all of them simultaneously realize that Chanhee has no filter when he’s this drunk. Kevin reacts first.


“Chanhee, don’t-”

“You scheduled a live stream on my birthday?!” Chanhee, while extremely dramatic and drunk, somehow has the capacity to remember that Kevin doesn’t like publicizing his side job and at least doesn’t yell the specificities. Jacob vaguely registers the guy next to Kevin, Minho, tilt his head in curiosity. 

“Excuse me, that Chanel purse didn’t just drop into my lap!” Kevin retorts back and instantly regrets saying that because Chanhee, the sappy drunk, immediately looks apologetic. 

“You used that money to get me my present?” Chanhee’s voice gets a little shakey and he makes his way over to Kevin, pulling him into a hug. They’re all laughing now and once Kevin soothes Chanhee enough, the birthday boy decides to try Jacob as his next victim. 

“Designated driver,” Jacob smiles apologetically and holds his hands up. “Happy birthday?” Chanhee high-fives him while pouting and ends up pulling Changmin, Jaehyun, Younghoon, and Sangyeon onto the dance floor. 

Now that the chaos of a gaggle of very drunk men has lessened, Jacob, attending a nearly asleep Haknyeon, overhears a bit of Kevin and Minho’s conversation. They have to be a little loud as the club’s music pulses overhead. 

“So you live stream, huh? Like, gaming?” 

“Ah, yeah, wait, no… sort… of?” 

“What does that mean,” Minho laughs and Jacob feels himself stiffen. That’s definitely an arm snaking around to rest behind Kevin’s shoulder. Haknyeon starts to wake up more and Jacob has to help him figure out which water glass is his. 

“Is it like the sexy kind?” it’s a joke, but Jacob is shocked he hit it on the head so quickly. Then he remembers what Kevin is wearing. 

“It… is, actually. Figured I should monetize these good looks, ha ha,” and Jacob can hear it in his voice that Kevin is nervous. Hyunjoon picks that exact moment to ask if they want to do another round of drinks and he’s met with a chorus of drink names. 


“So you’re like. A sexy e-boy? A camboy, then?”


Jacob’s focus on convincing Eric he doesn’t need another mai tai, much less three more, is instantly shattered when he feels a hand harshly grab his.

Kevin is still faced towards Minho but his hand is a vice grip on Jacob’s, his knuckles white, nails digging into his hand and it hurts. When Jacob peers over, he sees it.

Minho’s hand is high up on Kevin’s thigh, squeezing it. 




Kevin once told him that he’s never seen Jacob furious. Kevin has had plenty of moments where he was angry: angry over people hurting people close to him, over injustices in the world, towards himself even. Jacob always felt lucky that Kevin trusted him to be there when that anger would come to head, and he felt like it was a talent of his to be there for people and help them come down from those moments. 

It wasn’t that Jacob didn’t feel angry ever—he too, hated seeing his friends get hurt by people, has righteous anger over the cruelties of the world—he just never had it manifest into his actions on more interpersonal levels, never overtaking his conscience. 


To be honest, he wasn’t even sure what exactly fury would look like, on Kevin, on him.



So he wishes he could see himself right now. 


Kevin is lighter than he looks, though that might be due to adrenaline. 

It’s an awkward position, but Jacob wraps one hand around Kevin’s waist and pulls him towards himself and Kevin nearly lands on his lap. Then Jacob stands, an arm around his best friend's waist, supporting his full weight. It’s so fast that Kevin stumbles but Jacob’s arm is a vice grip around his middle and is essentially carrying him. Jacob turns him slightly then as if to shield Kevin with his body from that guy, and he feels Kevin straighten up, his feet now solidly on the floor.


“Don’t fucking touch him,” Jacob nearabouts growls at the asshole. 


He can hear Kevin trying to placate him, but all he can see is the cocky look on this guy, Minho’s, face. He holds his hands in a wow there gesture. 

“What the hell dude, chill,” Minho starts and Jacob is pushing Kevin to stand behind him. Rage, he thinks, is filling his lungs, his head. He can think and at the same time he can’t. 

“Fucking keep your hands off him,” Jacob spits out, and he feels more than hears Kevin trying to get his attention. It’s not working because Minho looks like he’s starting to stand up and Jacob takes a step forward. A threat. 

“Fuck dude, you his boyfriend or something?” Minho asks, backing down immediately as soon as Jacob moves. Jacob is definitely not thinking because he immediately answers,


“Yeah, I am.” 


Jacob’s vision is suddenly filled with Kevin’s face. His best friend, his beautiful, perfect best friend has both hands on his face, forcibly facing Jacob towards him. 

Kevin’s hands are shaking but his eyes are unwavering as he stares directly into Jacob’s eyes. He’s searching for something in Jacob’s expression and his eyes harden. He looks off to the side at Minho, then back to Jacob. 

“We’re going dancing,” and Kevin, with his own unassuming strength, pulls in front of Jacob and roughly begins to drag him towards the club’s dance floor. 

“Good talk, definitely do not touch me,” Kevin says as he passes by Minho and Jacob doesn’t bother looking at his expression, fury still coursing through him. He does look towards their friends and he’ll laugh later about how they all looked like fish, their mouths hanging open, the same shock mirrored across all of their faces. For now, he’s focusing on the comforting pressure of his hand in Kevin’s. 


When they get onto the dance floor, Kevin turns around to face Jacob. He holds both of his hands and Jacob feels himself shaking. The club lights are painting Kevin in a multitude of colors and Jacob is entranced. Kevin pulls Jacob closer to him, leads them near the edge of the dance floor, and guides Jacob’s still shaking hands to his hips. His best friend wraps his arms around Jacob’s neck and hugs him then, pressing his face into the crook of his neck. 

“Thank you,” Kevin speaks directly into Jacob’s ear so he can hear it clearly and Jacob immediately feels all of the anger leave his body. He slumps a little, wraps his arms around Kevin’s middle, and hooks his chin on his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry, that was,” Jacob rasps out, and just as suddenly as the anger left, embarrassment fills him. Kevin quickly pulls back to look at Jacob’s face and he’s frowning.

“Don’t you dare apologize, you perfect man,” and Kevin looks angry for some reason. His brows somehow furrow more, and then he’s looking over Jacob’s shoulder. He bites his lip, contemplating, and Jacob uses the moment to let his hands wander, pressing up to Kevin’s waist. 

“Oh god, Kev, I hurt you,” he gasps, dread filling him, making him feel sick. The place where Jacob first grabbed Kevin to pull him away is already a ruddy color and the distinct shape of a handgrip is slowly forming beneath the fishnet tights. Kevin looks down where Jacob’s hand is hovering over and he grabs his hand to move it away so he can look. 

Shame fills Jacob, disgust at his careless actions, hurting Kevin, the words and lies he said. Jacob starts pulling away slightly but Kevin quickly pulls him back, pulling him even closer. Jacob can’t hide his surprise when he notices that Kevin’s eyes have darkened. 


“We’re getting out of here,” Kevin says and the look on his face leaves Jacob speechless.




The cool spring air hits the two of them when they stumble out of the club, and Kevin shivers, his cropped hoodie doing nothing to abate the chill. For the whole journey out of the club, they’ve held hands and when Kevin brings his own to blow warmth onto them, he’s still holding Jacob’s hand. 

Jacob is breathless. When they passed by their friend’s table, Kevin wished Chanhee a happy birthday and simply informed them they were leaving. They received way-too-understanding nods from their friends and when Jacob caught Sunwoo’s eyes, the younger had the audacity to shoot two thumbs up at him. 

“Jake,” Kevin calls gently, and all of Jacob’s remaining brain cells zero in on Kevin pressing a kiss to his hand. “Where’s your car?” Jacob’s brain can manage that much and leads them to his car, parked close to the restaurant. It’s not a long walk but Kevin is glued to his side the whole time and still holding his hand.

When Jacob turns the engine on, Kevin is quick to plug his phone in, turn the heat on, and decides on a mild ballad playlist for the drive. Kevin is quite literally the only one who rides in Jacob’s passenger seat and he knows Jacob’s car like it’s his own. 

“Take me home,” Kevin tells Jacob then and he nods, trying to settle into the normalcy of when he’s usually driving Kevin home after a party. He’s gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. For the first couple minutes of the drive, it’s just gentle music and the sound of Kevin texting. 

“We owe Juyeon and Younghoon whatever our portion of the bill is. Apparently, they lost rock-paper-scissors,” Kevin reads from his phone and Jacob is grateful he spoke first.

“How the hell did Sangeyon not lose?” Jacob quips, trying so hard to not be weird. Thankfully, Kevin lightly laughs, and from Jacob’s peripheral, he sees that he’s still reading and texting. 

“Chanhee took pity on Sangyeon and exempted him from playing. Also, you left your phone there,” Kevin hasn’t looked up from his screen and Jacob decides not to think about it. 

“Fuck, seriously?” He groans, dreading the headache he’ll face if he got any last-minute emails from his advisor. 


Kevin looks up. “That’s like, the third ‘fuck’ you’ve said of the night.” 


Jacob stiffens. He knows it’s uncommon for him, he rarely ever says anything worse than ‘hell’ and even then it takes a bit for him to get to that point. He isn’t sure how to respond.

Kevin finally turns to look at Jacob and he instantly regrets hoping he would look at him because the quiet curiosity Kevin aims at him might be worse. Jacob glances at him and desperate for anything to break the tension, blurts out:

“How are you liking your hair?” He cringes immediately. It’s a shitty cop-out and Kevin knows it. But his best friend is always kind to Jacob when he’s like this and he tilts his head, a fond smile on his face.

“I’m liking it a lot. Just takes a little to figure out how I want to style it,” and Kevin settles back into his seat, facing forward. 


His hand also reaches across the console and rests on Jacob’s thigh. 


That’s new. They don’t really do that. But Kevin’s hand is just resting there, a quiet weight on Jacob’s thigh. Kevin’s eyes are closed and he’s humming along to the song playing and Jacob continues to drive, letting himself have this too.

When Jacob starts pulling up to Kevin’s apartment complex, Kevin sits up and looks at Jacob. His hand leaves his thigh and Jacob has to consciously relax his leg. 

“You’re going to park and come up with me,” Kevin says, resolute, and Jacob doesn’t argue, the expression on his best friend’s face new to him. 



Once they’re in Kevin’s apartment, Jacob starts thinking about everything that happened.

He said he was Kevin’s boyfriend. He can brush that off as a heat of the moment thing. He’s not sure how to justify the bruise Kevin is going to have on his waist from Jacob gripping him so hard. 

“I can literally hear your brain catching on fire,” Kevin laughs then, his voice cutting clear through Jacob’s thoughts. He’s in front of Jacob now, the lowlights of his apartment softening his features and he takes Jacob’s hands in his own and walks them backward, guiding them to his couch. It feels like déjà vu, Jacob being too enraptured with his best friend to function. 

Jacob must’ve sat on that couch for a while because Kevin is putting a mug of warm tea in his hands. Kevin has his own mug and they both take a moment to just steep in each other’s presence. He feels his body relaxing, not realizing how wound up he’s been. Kevin finishes sipping on his tea first, placing his mug on the coffee table and twisting his body to face Jacob.


“So, you got angry,” Kevin starts and Jacob promptly wants to sink into the couch and disappear from reality. Kevin pouts and reaches out, resting his hand on Jacob’s knee. 

“Don’t you dare try to slink away from this, I’m glad you did. Get angry, I mean. I didn’t know how to react to his… whatever, but you saved me from that,” Kevin is leaning towards Jacob for emphasis, the hand on his knee becoming heavier. Jacob grips the mug closer to himself, not sure how to even begin broaching why he got so angry. 

“I just… You don’t ever get like that,” Kevin says quietly while looking at the hand on Jacob’s knee and suddenly a flood of guilt overtakes Jacob’s senses. 

“Oh fuck, Kevin, did I scare you? Damn it, I knew I reacted ba- ” Jacob sits up in a panic and Kevin puts his hands on Jacob’s chest, gently pushing him back into the couch cushions. 

“No! No, no, you just surprised me,” Kevin reassures, and he takes the mug from Jacob’s hand, placing it on the table. He reaches out again, gently taking Jacob’s hands in his, and starts rubbing soothing circles on his palms. “I wasn’t scared at all, I promise.” Jacob nods weakly and leans towards Kevin. After a moment, Kevin speaks.

“I’m going to ramble and you answer when you feel like it, okay?” Kevin looks at Jacob and he looks nervous, his bottom lip between his teeth, brows furrowed. Jacob isn’t sure why he’d be nervous but he nods, willing to give anything to Kevin at this point. Kevin cracks a smile and pulls Jacob’s hands toward himself to rest near his heart. He can feel Kevin’s heartbeat now.

“I’m just wildly guessing now and projecting my own feelings onto you, but,” Kevin’s voice gets soft but after a breath, his voice gets stronger. “You got angry because I signaled to you that I didn’t want that guy and that I didn’t know how to get out of it. And you knew I wanted to get out of that, that I didn’t actually want anything to do with that guy.” Kevin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

“Because, ultimately, I’ve always been yours. So you got angry.” 

Kevin’s hands are shaking and his heartbeat is erratic. Jacob didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he exhales and Kevin, eyes open now, watches Jacob uneasily. Jacob’s brain is going a mile a minute, probably combusting, definitely malfunctioning, ‘yours’ bouncing around his head. 

“I grabbed you so harshly.” Jacob has no idea why that’s the first thing that leaves his mouth but Kevin nods and Jacob thinks he doesn’t deserve Kevin’s kindness sometimes.    

“Eh, you had to act fast,” and then Kevin chuckles a little and runs a hand through his hair. “I guess I forgot how strong you are and when you grabbed me like I weigh nothing… well, I’m not mad about it.” 

He doesn’t know where the urge comes from—Kevin’s blushing now, looking at a point over Jacob’s shoulder and he realizes he wants those eyes on him— but he pulls his hands from Kevin’s, grabs his waist and thigh, and drags his best friend onto his lap. 

Kevin lets out an undignified yelp and scrambles to find his balance, his hands landing on Jacob’s shoulders. 

“Wha- J-Jacob?” Jacob cups Kevin’s flustered face, his thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. The light in the apartment glows behind Kevin and Jacob doesn’t like to be dramatic but Kevin looks heavenly.

“I’ve been in love with you since middle school so, ultimately, I’ve been yours, too, ” Jacob, a bit overwhelmed by the cacophony of feelings he’s experiencing all at once, focuses instead on looking Kevin in the eye as he says this. 

He thinks he might’ve frozen Kevin. His eyes are wide, his mouth dropping open. There’s a long beat of Kevin just staring at Jacob, and Jacob tries to convey his sincerity through his eyes.

Kevin breaks first, blinks and then he’s grabbing Jacob’s wrists, squeezing his eyes shut as he turns his head to press a kiss to Jacob’s pulse point. He holds it there for a second, grounding himself and when his eyes open, he’s smiling, eyes shining. Beautiful.


“It was middle school for me too,” Kevin laughs, a little watery, into his wrist, and when he meets Jacob’s eyes, he knows his eyes mirror the joy in Kevin’s.




“I can’t believe the fit I’m wearing when my crush since middle school gets requited is an e-boy outfit,” Kevin laments into the crook of Jacob’s neck. Jacob hums, pressing his fingers into the small of Kevin’s back. They somehow ended up with Jacob laying down on the couch and Kevin flopping down onto him and it’s been 20 minutes of them just talking. It’s so very them and Jacob feels at peace. 

“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t think I’d be wearing a “tittie thirst trap jacket” when I would confess to you,” Jacob quips back, referencing Chanhee’s unique naming conventions for their outfits. Kevin huffs a laugh and then lifts himself up a bit so he can look at Jacob’s face and Jacob mirrors the fond smile on his best friend’s face. 

“Chanhee asked me what I thought your best asset to highlight was,” Kevin says and then he pauses. He tilts his head down slightly, contemplating something for a second, and then looks up through his lashes. Jacob’s heart stutters. The blonde streaks, here to haunt every moment of Jacob’s life, frame Kevin’s face like a halo. 

“So I told him that I do prefer your front,” and as Kevin says this, he runs a finger from Jacob’s collar bone down his sternum. Jacob gulps. 

Kevin stares at Jacob now, and the look in his eyes is different. Maintaining eye contact, Kevin slips his fingers a little bit under the lapels of the jacket and he bites his lip. They’re iron-hot on his chest, burning, and Jacob wants more.

“Is this okay?” Kevin doesn’t push his fingers any further and his voice is soft when he asks Jacob. “We can just keep hanging out. I’d love anything with you.” Kevin is watching his face for any sign of discomfort and Jacob can’t help the wave of fondness he feels towards Kevin’s consideration. 

He wants this. So, so much. Jacob feels his face split into a smile and raises a hand to cup Kevin’s cheek. He nuzzles into his hand as his cat-like eyes pierce into Jacob’s, gaze still tinted with apprehension. 


“I want all of you, Kevin,” Jacob answers, voice clear, and Kevin’s eyes immediately darken. “First though, I’d love to kiss you,” he adds, feeling silly but wanting to experience everything with Kevin, starting with a kiss. 


Kevin, obviously the furthest thing from a virgin, blushes like one; he overrides it by rolling his eyes and brushing his blonde bangs out of his face, narrowing his eyes in a way that Jacob decides is sexy.

“Kiss me, Bae,” and Jacob chokes on a laugh at his best friend’s terrible joke but they’re both leaning in and when their lips connect, Jacob thinks that he’ll take all of Kevin’s terrible jokes if it meant he would get to kiss the beautiful boy in his arms for the rest of his life. 

Neither of them are new to this and the initial slow give and take quickly becomes heated as they learn each other’s lips. When Jacob sucks on his bottom lip, giving it a little nip, Kevin gasps into his mouth and then Jacob’s tongue is in Kevin’s mouth. It’s perfect, he’s perfect, Jacob thinks, and the hand that was on Kevin’s cheek moves to the brush through Kevin’s hair, pulling slightly. Kevin groans at the pull and Jacob's dick twitches. Kevin’s hands are splayed on Jacob’s chest, and when they pull back to take a breath, he squeezes his hands. 

“You’re so hot, what the fuck,” Kevin's voice is rough, and then he sits up completely, straddling Jacob’s hips. Jacob can only look up at Kevin in reverence; he looks good from this angle and when Kevin runs a hand through his hair, the blonde falls gently around his cheekbones. Jacob wishes he could paint like Kevin, document this moment forever. His hands have landed on Kevin’s hips and Kevin rests his own on Jacob’s. He looks down through narrowed eyes, desire evident. 


“I want you to pick me up and take me to my room.” A pretty blush sits on Kevin’s cheeks, contrasting the absolute fire in his eyes, and he’s pressing Jacob’s hands harder onto his hips. Jacob can feel his pants getting tighter and Kevin must think his pause is in confusion because he rocks back on Jacob’s hardening cock and tilts his head, his lips quirking into his infuriatingly sexy smirk and Jacob is winded. “We’re not fucking on the couch, babe.” 


That’s all Jacob needs to hear, and Kevin lets out a squeak when Jacob sits up suddenly and swivels them so he can stand up from the couch, switching from holding Kevin by his hips to cupping his ass. Kevin is quick enough to wrap his legs around Jacob’s waist and Jacob gives his ass cheek a little squeeze. 

Jacob knows Kevin’s apartment as well as his own and that lets him multitask; he kisses Kevin while walking through his place and doesn’t have to break the kiss to close the door to his room. Kevin is no help, open-mouthed kissing Jacob, running his hands through his hair, pulling too. 

They land at the end of Kevin’s bed and he scoots back a little to let Kevin straddle him. When they part, Kevin’s lips are red and shiny from spit. He leans back, his arms anchored around Jacob’s neck, just appraising Jacob, the street light from his window accenting his angular face. Jacob takes the opportunity to run his hands up Kevin’s body, pressing lightly into the red fingerprints forming on his waist. Kevin hisses at the press of Jacob’s hand then whines a little when Jacob starts to pull away. 

“I like it,” Kevin says and Jacob looks up to see him biting his lip, chest heaving a bit. “I like having your mark on me,” he clarifies, and Jacob surges up, pulling him down to meet his lips. It’s messy and Jacob is fighting a smile, their teeth clacking.

“I like seeing it on you,” he murmurs into the kiss, and Kevin breathily moans, running his hands down Jacob’s front, pausing on his chest and then his abs, forcing the last two buttons on the jacket open. 

Jacob shrugs off the jacket and as more skin is exposed, Kevin eagerly touches, leaning down to kiss the column of Jacob’s neck. After a particularly hard bite from Kevin on his collarbone, he pushes his hands up and under Kevin’s hoodie and brushes roughly over his nipples. Kevin moans, and getting the hint, pulls the hoodie off over his head, throwing it somewhere in his room. 

With Kevin’s milky skin free for him to touch, Jacob doesn’t waste a second to lean in and mark. From his position, he can start at Kevin’s collarbone and he works his way down, sucking bruises onto his chest. When he pulls one of Kevin’s nipples into his mouth, he feels a hand grab the back of his hair, flexing and pulling. 

“Jacob, ah, please, I need these off,” after Jacob moves his attention to his other nipple, Kevin pulls at his hair a little harder to get Jacob to look at him. Jacob thinks that he’ll have to make sure he doesn’t have lung problems with how breathless Kevin gets him. 


He’s flushed from his cheeks to his chest, pupils blown out, marks from Jacob littering his skin, the light from the window making his skin glow. He’s ethereal.  


“You’re staring,” Kevin murmurs, brushing his hands through Jacob’s bangs.

“You’re beautiful,” Jacob immediately replies and Kevin’s eyes widen, his wandering hands landing on Jacob’s shoulders. There’s a pause, Kevin’s face going through several emotions, then he’s pressing both hands to Jacob’s face and pulling him into a searing kiss. 

Jacob is so focused on kissing Kevin back that he doesn’t immediately feel the hands on the fly of his pants and it's only when a hand presses against his straining cock that he jumps and breaks the kiss. “Is this okay?” Kevin’s voice is rough with want but Jacob doesn’t miss the hesitance in his eyes, eager to please but always careful for permission. 

“God, yes, please Kev,” and the delight on Kevin’s face is almost funny. He nudges Jacob back further onto his bed, unzipping and pulling his pants off as he moves.

“I want to see you like this,” Kevin nods towards his bedside lamp as he balls Jacob’s pants up and tosses them onto his floor. When the lamp’s light warms the room, he hears Kevin let out a little sigh. 

“I wish you could see how pretty you look right now.” The look in Kevin’s eyes are the same when he appraises art and Jacob has to fight to urge to cover himself. Instead, wordlessly, he reaches towards Kevin, urging him to come back to him. Kevin cocks his head slightly then moves to his hands and knees and slinks slowly up Jacob’s body, eyes sultry in the warm lamplight.  He settles back onto sitting on Jacob’s hips, ass just barely brushing against his aching cock. 

Jacob is glad he isn’t the only one affected; Kevin’s arousal is obvious in his tight pants and Jacob figures he should be kind to his best friend. He brushes his hands down from his chest to the waistband of his pants, fingers catching on the fishnet. “You look pretty good up there,” Jacob comments, looking up at Kevin through his lashes. Kevin hisses when Jacob’s fingers brush against his still covered cock and he leans back, gripping Jacob’s thighs for balance.

“Think I’d look even better with these pants off, honey,” and he wiggles his hips for emphasis, eyebrows quirking. 


Jacob has been given time now. Time for him to tease Kevin later, time later when he’ll have a chance to drag this out, ruin Kevin for however long he wants, spoil and indulge him. 

Right now though, years of yearning have built up to a nearly explosive desire and he thinks that he’ll save the theatrics for later. Especially because he has later now. 


He makes quick work of Kevin’s belt (“I know it looks complicated but you just have to d- oh, see, there, you got it, you’re amazing, Jakey.”) and the zipper of his pants and then they’re doing a little maneuvering to peel the tight fabric off Kevin’s legs. They end up laughing as Kevin tumbles into Jacob and he has to sit up to support his weight; Kevin presses kisses between laughs onto Jacob’s face as his pants get thrown in some direction and it’s lovely in a heated moment, unable to shed the years of affection they have between them. 

Jacob rearranges them so Kevin’s laying on his back and he settles himself between Kevin’s fishnet-covered thighs. He runs a hand over them, grips Kevin’s thigh for a second, then plays with the elastic band, snapping it against his stomach. 

“I’ll fuck you with these on another day,” Jacob says, looking into Kevin’s eyes and he gets the gift of seeing his eyes comically widen and darken with desire, his face flush and lips part in shock. 

“That’s a promise?” Kevin tilts his head and in answer, Jacob begins pulling off the tights along with Kevin’s underwear.

“It’s a promise, Moon,” and he leans down to give him a chaste kiss, a promise sealed. It takes a second to pull the tights and briefs off but once they’re gone, Jacob has to pause.


It’s like a dream: Kevin, spread beneath him on soft bedding, his black hair and golden blonde strands framing his face, pale skin littered with lovebites made by him, and the prettiest cock leaking onto his toned stomach. Kevin’s eyes are bright in the low light and Jacob sees years of affection in his eyes reflecting back at him. The younger is certainly the artist between them but Jacob thinks that he gets why people fall in love with art. 


“Enjoying the view?” Kevin arches his back, and pulls his arms above his head, posing himself. He has to know he looks absolutely delectable like this, probably knows that when he tilts his head just so that Jacob’s cock twitches. He’s not complaining; Kevin is hot and self-confidence looks good on him. Instead of answering, Jacob let’s out a stuttering breath and squeezes his hands on Kevin’s hips, pressing him down onto the bed. He leans over him, biting at his stomach, Kevin straining against his hold. 

“Lube?” He licks at a bruise he leaves right above Kevin’s navel. “Condoms?” Kevin moans loudly when he purposefully blows over his cockhead, ignoring it to bite a bruise onto his hips.

“Drawer,” Kevin gasps out. He whines when Jacob immediately pulls back, wiggling in annoyance from the loss of heat. As Jacob twists his torso to shuffle through Kevin’s bedside drawer, he jumps when he feels hands on his hips, quickly dipping down under his briefs. He finds the bottle and foil packages right when Kevin pulls down his briefs, freeing his cock; the sound it makes when it slaps against his stomach is obscene. Jacob groans, and when he twists back to look at Kevin, he’s greeted by his best friend’s awed face. 

“What’ya looking at,” he huffs, amused; Kevin isn’t the first to be impressed with his size. But Kevin is the only one who he wants to impress. He sheds the underwear and Kevin immediately goes to grips around the base of his cock. He full-body groans, the sight of that artist hand wrapped around him absolutely ruining him.

“Can’t believe you’ve been hiding this from me,” Kevin pouts, using the precum leaking from Jacob’s cock to stroke him smoother.

“You’ve seen me soft?” Jacob replies, moaning with a particular twist of Kevin’s wrist.

“Yeah but like, it’s different in person,” and Jacob silently agrees. The camera does nothing for showing how pretty Kevin’s cock is. 


“Kev, not gonna lie, I’d rather finish while in you, not with your hand,” Jacob gasps out, hating how fast the edge is approaching for him, but he can’t help it when the love of his life is expertly jerking him off. “Let me prep you, please,” he says and urges Kevin back onto his back; Kevin is pliant under his hands, even letting him push a leg up for Kevin to hold. When he presses a lube-coated finger to Kevin’s entrance, he’s shocked when his finger easily dips in. 


“Prepped for tonight's cam session,” Kevin explains and Jacob feels like he’s engulfed in flames.

“What happened with that anyway?” Jacob asks, trying to stay sane and steady, slowly pumping his finger into Kevin.

“When we got into your car I canceled it. Thought we’d jus-oh fuck, your fingers are thick,” Kevin chokes out as Jacob presses two fingers to his entrance, waiting for permission. Kevin pushes back onto his fingers, an unspoken go-ahead.

“You thought what?” Jacob asks, continuing the conversation while angling his wrist to push his two fingers in deeper.

“Thought… ah, Jacob, fuck, thought we’d just talk about you getting angry and then fall asleep while watching a shitty Netflix movie,” and Jacob feels warm; Kevin canceled a live stream just because he wanted to be there for Jacob if he freaked out. 

The swell of emotions is almost too much and Jacob grabs Kevin’s hand, presses a kiss to his wrist. “You’re perfect,” he whispers, and at that exact moment curls his fingers just so. Kevin’s back arches off the bed, cock leaking, and he moans so loud that Jacob is momentarily reminded about his neighbors. That thought immediately leaves his brain when Kevin clenches around Jacob’s fingers and he gets pulled down into a messy kiss. After Kevin finishes licking into his mouth, he falls back onto the bed, chest heaving. 


“Jacob, I need you in me now or I might die,” Kevin, dramatic as always, emphasizes his point with a hand on his forehead like a swooning Victorian woman. They laugh then, and Jacob takes the opportunity to add a third finger, still careful as to not hurt Kevin.

“Can’t let that happen, can we?” He decides to be cheeky and curls his fingers, making Kevin toss his head back, hand flailing for a second till it lands on Jacob’s bicep, nails digging in. “But let me do this first. I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs, tone serious because Kevin is worth taking the time and care. 

“Would rather let you do me, but alas, I understand your reasoning,” and Kevin looks at Jacob’s cock for emphasis, making him blush. “Dude, why are you, ahh, shy about it?” Kevin twists a little when Jacob loosely wraps a hand around his cock, giving it a light stroke. He barrels on though. 

“You’re hot and handsome, the sweetest guy, mhm, Jake, you little shit, let me fuckin’ hype you up, and you have a big dick. Absolutely a homerun for me, me thinks,” and Kevin looks smug, as if talking through Jacob scissoring his fingers in him was an accomplishment. Kevin sits up then and they meet halfway, the sweet kiss they share a stark contrast to Kevin wrapping his hand around Jacob’s cock, nudging his cockhead to his entrance. Jacob groans, and dips his head to rest on the crook of Kevin’s shoulder, mouthing at his neck as he hears foil ripping and then deft hands rolling the condom onto his cock. He leaves a mark high up on Kevin’s neck and parts, looking at Kevin for direction. 

Kevin gently pushes Jacob back, and it only takes a second for Jacob to realize what his best friend wants. He settles himself against the bed’s headboard and watches in awe as Kevin raises himself over Jacob’s lap, grabbing his cock and lining it up with his entrance. Jacob grabs his hips, if only to ground himself, and then Kevin looks up at Jacob. 


“Ready, babe?” His lips quirk and Jacob answers with a squeeze of his hands and a breathy please.


Kevin descends slowly, having to adjust to Jacob’s size. Jacob can’t help letting out a loud groan as Kevin’s walls tighten around his cock. His best friend’s hands land on his shoulders as he bobs up and down, and then, faster than he thought, Kevin bottoms out. He tosses his head back, the bruise Jacob sucked into his neck on full display. 

The lamplight bathes them in warmth and as Kevin adjusts, Jacob intertwines their fingers. Kevin, with his eyes closed, presses a kiss to Jacob’s fingers and holds it there. It takes a moment but when Kevin locks eyes with Jacob, all the air in his lungs exits in a quiet groan. 


Kevin is apparently quiet during sex. He gasps lowly as he lifts himself almost completely off Jacob’s cock then slams down, letting out a little “ah” as his ass slaps against Jacob’s thighs. When he starts bouncing, Jacob can hear himself moaning so he pulls Kevin into a kiss to try quiet himself. 

“I want to hear you,” Kevin gasps into Jacob’s mouth, but then unhelpfully sucks on Jacob’s tongue. Jacob can feel Kevin squeezing their interlaced hands where they rest on his hip and he takes the hint and begins lifting Kevin himself, the delight on Kevin’s face at Jacob’s strength intoxicating. He starts thrusting upwards, meeting Kevin, and finally, he starts to hear his best friend’s beautiful voice. 


“Jake, you’re so good, fuck, so perfect,” he gasps out, and when Jacob thrust particularly hard, he moans loudly, pressing his forehead to Jacob’s. When Kevin nearly goes lax in his arms, letting Jacob piston his hips into him, Jacob flips them, laying Kevin onto his back. 


When Jacob thrust back into Kevin, he sets the pace slow at first, thrusting deep and hard. Kevin mewls and scrambles to get his arms around Jacob’s shoulders and Jacob, always weak to whiney Kevin, leans down onto his forearms to cage him in, kissing him through his thrusts. 

When Kevin starts moaning into his mouth for him to go harder, Jacob, faster please, he complies, feeling his own release steadily coming up. He switches to balancing on one arm, snaking a hand down Kevin’s chest and wrapping his hands around his cock. Kevin tosses his head back then, shamelessly moaning now. 

Kevin is babbling now, “Jacob, so fucking good to me, wonderful, you’re amazing,” and when his thighs, wrapped around Jacob’s hips, begin to tighten, Jacob speeds up his hand and his hips. 



When Kevin comes, he lets out a sob and grasps Jacob’s face, pulling him into a searing kiss, whispering “Fuck, I love you,” between their lips. That, combined with the impossible heat tightening around his cock, makes Jacob come soon after with a low groan.

Kevin kisses him through it, praising him softly, running his hands through his hair. Jacob kisses him back and when they both descend into giggles, then fully into loud laughter, Jacob can’t help but be so excited for their future.




“You’re so lame,” Kevin laughs when Jacob throws the tied-up condom into the trash can from across the room with a “Kobe,” followed by a sad, “R.I.P.” He had gotten up to clean up Kevin and he flops back onto him, snuggling up next to his best friend. Kevin maneuvers them under his blanket, tucking Jacob to his side as he lays on his back, sarcastically groaning in annoyance when Jacob wraps himself around Kevin. 

“So, that was a great idea,” Kevin starts, and Jacob laughs, too much on a high to dunk on Kevin’s terrible pillow talk. He’s also kind of vibrating with happiness and Kevin senses this, pressing Jacob tightly to himself. “I’m currently thinking that we’re idiots because we could’ve had this earlier,” he huffs, and Jacob looks over, mildly surprised to see that Kevin just looks exasperated. 

“I don’t want to say we owe it to that guy…” Jacob mutters and Kevin sputters.

“Absolutely not, let’s just say it was Chanhee’s great birthday party.” Jacob laughs into Kevin’s shoulder and kisses it, happy he can just do that now.

“Sunwoo might want to take credit too,” he offers.

Kevin scoffs. “Our whole friend group will want to take credit, I’m pretty sure they all knew I’ve been in love with you since forever,” and Jacob feels the flood of affection for his best friend overtake him. 

He moves so he can hover over Kevin and kisses him; when he pulls back, he brushes a hand through those blonde streaks. “I love you,” he murmurs and Kevin beams, his eyes crinkling into crescents.

“Love ya too, Jakey,” he answers, and Jacob is about to get sappy when Kevin tacks on, “And your dick, still can’t believe you hid that from me.” 


Kevin full-body laughs at Jacob’s expression and Jacob has to admit it’s his favorite sound.




“You’re a lot more talkative while you’re fucking yourself during your streams,” Jacob decides to drop that bomb when Kevin is falling asleep, hoping that he’ll brush it off. Unfortunately, Kevin has always been a light sleeper so after a second of processing what Jacob said he jerks up and turns to Jacob, eyes wide and bright from the window light. 

“You... you?!” Kevin sputters and Jacob, honest to a fault but shameless now that he has Kevin, just stares back. He’s flushing in embarrassment but wants Kevin to know, knows that he’ll regret it later if he doesn’t say it now. He also knows Kevin wouldn’t be mad about it and he’s right because he’s reaching towards Jacob now and cups his cheeks, his expression just inquisitive.

“Often?” He asks and Jacob shakes his head. Emboldened by Kevin’s lack of anger, Jacob adds, “I just really hope you wash my clothes afterwards,” and Kevin rears back, squishing Jacob’s cheeks.

“Of-fucking-course I wash them, I’m not a fucking gremlin,” he pouts. Then he gets a look in his eyes and Jacob suddenly feels like he dove too deep. “Does this mean I can come on your clothes now though?” 


Jacob wrestles Kevin back down and underneath him so he can kiss him. 


When Kevin laughs against his lips, he’s smiling too wide to properly kiss him and Jacob thinks that he’s glad he gets forever with Kevin.