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(I carry your heart)

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Yuuri wakes with a sudden jolt following a blinding flash of lightning. Thunder crashes in the distance a few seconds later. Rain is loudly patterning against the tile roof overhead. 

He groans, thoroughly displeased and smothers his face against the pillow.  He tries not to move too much, lest he disturb Viktor. At some point during the evening, he must’ve snuck into Yuuri’s bed. He sleeps with an arm and a leg thrown over Yuuri’s torso, face tucked against his shoulder. Even asleep he can’t seem to stop touching Yuuri. 

They had taken to sleeping in Viktor’s room which was far more spacious. But tonight, Yuuri had been dead tired after practice. He fell face first into his bed after dinner and passed out before the sun had even set. It was entirely Viktor’s fault for making him run through quads all afternoon.

Yuuri strains to reach his phone without jostling Viktor. He clicks the power button once. It’s just after one. If the forecast on the morning news was correct, the storm would continue on and off another couple hours. Yuuri puts his phone back and settles against his pillow feeling distinctly annoyed. And awake. 

Following a second, louder rumble of thunder, Viktor begins to stir next to him. He picks his head up with an incomprehensible grumple and for a moment he glances around confused, as if he wasn’t quite sure where he is. One recognition hits him, he throws an arm across Yuuri’s chest and snuggles closer. 

“I thought the rainy season ended months ago,” he mutters, his voice unusually deep with sleep. 

“It’ll pass soon.” Yuuri kisses the top of his head affectionately. “Just go back to sleep.” 

Viktor cranes his neck to look up at Yuuri’s face, still half asleep and bleary eyed.  “At least give me a goodnight kiss, you denied me my chance before bed.” How anyone could pout when practically unconscious Yuuri will never understand. 

“That’s your fault for making me do jumps for hours on end.” He drapes his arm over Viktor’s waist.

Gomen. ” Viktor turns his head and presses a soft kiss against Yuuri’s neck in apology. 

“Well, alright.” Yuuri props himself up on one elbow. He ever so gently traces the underside of Viktor’s chin, making his eyes flutter shut, and softly presses their lips together.  “Better?”

Mmm, much better,” Viktor hums quietly. Yuuri places another kiss on his forehead. 

“Let’s go back to sleep.” 


Not ten minutes later Viktor whispers, “Yuuri?” 


“Are you still awake?” He peers up at Yuuri through one open eye. 

“Obviously.” Yuuri turns away and closes his eyes again, trying not to smile. 


“Yes, Viktor.” 

“Will you kiss me again?” 


They’re a tangled, half-dressed mess. Yuuri kicks the blanket off of them and Viktor slides a hand under the waistband of his pants, kneading a fistfull of his ass. In return, Yuuri grazes his nails over Viktor’s bare chest, teasing at his peaked nipples. Viktor moans directly into his mouth and, on instinct, rolls their hips together. Yuuri can feel how hard they both are through the thin layer of clothing separating them. 

“Yuuri, Yuuri-” Viktor runs his tongue over Yuuri’s bottom lip, loathe to part from his mouth for more than a second. “Can we?” He kisses Yuuri again before giving him a chance to respond. 

“Can we what?” Yuuri barely manages to murmur, his lips moving against Viktor’s. He’s half a second from pulling down the front of both their pants and taking both their dicks in his hand, desperate for more friction. 

Viktor pulls back a scant few centimeters and asks without a hint of pretense, “Would you fuck me, Yuuri?” 

Yuuri stills, his heart lurching into his throat at the unexpected request. They had experimented plenty the past few weeks. All hands and mouths and bodies grinding together desperately in the dark. And they’d talked about sex. They just never had both the energy and the privacy to do it. 

“I- I mean…” Yuuri feels a tiny, nagging self-conscious voice in the back of his mind. “Do you really want that?” 

“Yes.” Viktor’s nose brushes against his. He’s a little quieter than usual. “More than anything. Haven’t you thought about it?” 

He figured telling Viktor about the lewd fantasies he’s entertained while jerking off would kill the mood, so instead he says, “God yes, of course.” 

“Do you have…” English seems to fail Viktor for a moment. “Things? If not I bought-”

“No,” Yuuri cuts him off and leans back a little more to look at him. He can only make out the outline of Viktor’s features in the dark; the soft curve of his lips, swollen from kissing, the flutter of silver lashes, his eyes wide and sincere. “I have everything.”  

(Yuuri also decides not to tell Viktor about his trip to the drug store a few weeks ago in which he spent 30 minutes pacing the aisles pretending to look at bath salts and cold medicine before working up the courage to browse the condoms and lube.)

“Good,” Viktor says and flashes him a mischievous little grin, then shoves the back of his pants down.


He’s seen Viktor naked plenty of times. He’s already touched nearly every inch of him with his lips and hands, yet Yuuri’s mouth still goes dry at the sight of him. His idol, his coach, his love, fully undressed and luridly posed in his bed. His cock is full with arousal, flushed pink and just as pretty as the rest of him. Yuuri feels a sudden sweeping surge of desire. He’s never wanted anything as much as he wants to devour Viktor whole. 

Viktor blindly fumbles for the lube on the nightstand. Yuuri takes the hint and grabs it from him, and sits back on his heels, kneeling between Viktor’s thighs. He pops the cap open and spills too much out onto his fingers. If he thinks too hard about it, he knows he’ll panic and fuck it up for the both of them. 

Sensing Yuuri’s momentary hesitation, Viktor reaches out with open arms, the same sweet way as when he finishes on the ice. It takes all of Yuuri’s self-control not to rush in and crack their heads together as he leans down into Viktor’s embrace and kisses him breathless.

Viktor whines when he feels Yuuri’s erection brush against his thigh. Yuuri’s mouth on him is always wonderful but what he really wants is for Yuuri to finger him open and finally, for the love of god, fuck him. Without breaking their kiss, he grabs Yuuri by the wrist and guides his hand down, between his legs, to where he desperately needs him. 

Viktor is so keyed up with anticipation it takes Yuuri several minutes of teasing his rim and massaging the flank of his thigh with his free hand before he can work one, then two fingers inside him with ease. 

When he finally slides in a third finger, Viktor digs into the mattress, his heels sliding against the sheets. Yuuri smiles to himself and twists his lube slick fingers inside of him making Viktor keen even louder. 

“Yuuri!” Viktor practically chokes out. 

He paws around the bed for the condom packet and shoves it at Yuuri’s chest. “I’m ready, please, Yuuri.” 


Oh, oh-” Viktor has to bite his lip to keep from crying out as the head of Yuuri’s cock slowly presses into him.

Yuuri watches him carefully as he slowly works himself inside, making sure there’s no twinge of pain on his face. “Talk to me, love.” 

Viktor nods frantically. “It’s good,” he promises. He’d say just about anything to make Yuuri keep going at this point. “So good, Yuuri.” 

The stretch is pleasant but almost too much to bear. Viktor nearly cries, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, as he adjusts to the aching fullness of Yuuri seated inside him for the first time. 

Yuuri hisses out a curse when he bottoms out and drops his head to Viktor’s shoulder. He struggles to catch his breath, and has to desperately will himself not to come right then and there. “You’re so tight, Vitya.” 

“Please, please, Yuuri.” Viktor’s hands tremble where he’s clutching Yuuri’s biceps. “Move,” he begs without an ounce of shame. 

Viktor has been fucked before - he’s fucked himself plenty of times - but it’s never been like this. No one has ever touched him the way Yuuri does. No one had ever been so patient with him. No one had ever taken care of him or treated him gently the way Yuuri always did. 

Viktor was used to people looking at him. He was used to performing, fulfilling a role. He attracted attention almost everywhere he went. But no one truly saw him, not like Yuuri did.

And could die here, lost in Yuuri's eyes, underneath him, his legs around Yuuri’s waist pulling him close, cock buried deep inside him, Yuuri’s breath on his neck and teeth on his pulse, sweat-slicked, skin on skin, hips grinding together.

One by one, the walls of ice inside his heart had been chipped away until there was nothing left, nothing but Yuuri. Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri.  It’s everything he never knew he wanted, to be absolutely taken. To him, it didn’t matter who had hung the moon or stars; it was Yuuri who brought light and color back to his life.  He would give Yuuri anything and everything, expecting nothing in return. Well, he wanted a few things in return. But, he figured this is the closest he’d ever get to being selfless, the way he loved Yuuri so profoundly and unashamedly. 

“You’re fucking me so good,” Viktor practically purrs right against the shell of Yuuri’s ear, earning him a shattered little moan and an especially hard snap of Yuuri’s hips.  “I’ve wanted you - ahhh -” Viktor’s breath is stolen away as Yuuri thrusts into him again. “I’ve wanted you just like this… for so long.” 

Yuuri’s gaze practically burns him. “Not as long as I’ve wanted you.” 

And then Yuuri fucks a little harder once more, hitting just the right spot he can never quite get to on his own. Viktor gasps, throwing his head back. “Yes, there. More, more.” 

He can’t stop himself from shaking as Yuuri hits his prostate again and again. His pace quickens and he mouths at Viktor’s exposed neck with abandon. That’s it, Viktor is completely overtaken and a strangled moan tears its way free from his throat, his eyes screwing shut. 

Yuuri knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he’s going to be haunted for the rest of his life by the sounds Viktor makes as he coaxes him through his orgasm. He’s still fucking into Viktor in a steady rhythm. Part of him still can’t believe he gets to see Viktor like this. He’s so incredibly beautiful as he comes undone. 

Yuuri wants to memorize every detail; the way Viktor desperately ruts his hips in time with his thrusts, his high-pitched sobs and whimpers, and the sharp bite of his nails across his shoulder blades, the way he clenches hot and tight around Yuuri’s cock as he comes in messy ropes across both their chests. Only Yuuri gets to kiss him, mark him, make him come. 

Yuuri, Yuuri, my Yuuri,” he cries and Yuuri feathers soothing kisses across his jaw. 

His thighs are trembling around Yuuri’s waist and when he goes to pull out, still desperately hard and right on the edge, Viktor won’t let go. “Please, don’t stop.” 

“But Vitya, you-” 

“Want you to come inside me,” he whispers sweetly but with a devious little glint in his eyes.  

Yuuri practically chokes on his own tongue, “Viktor.”

“Would you like that?” He rolls his hips and squeezes his legs tighter around Yuuri. He groans as Viktor draws his cock deeper into his slick heat. “Make a mess of me, make me yours. I want it.’ 

“Fuck-” Yuuri couldn’t resist even if he tried. He’s never been able to deny Viktor anything and he’s not about to start.

He sits back on his knees and grabs Viktor’s hips in a punishing grip, hoisting him off the bed a few inches. And then, Yuuri is burying himself in Viktor again, in one slow and deep thrust. 

“Yes, yes-” Viktor’s eyes twist shut in pleasure. “Just like that.” 

He’s impossibly hot and wet and Yuuri can’t stop himself from moaning aloud as he drives Viktor up the length of the bed with each snap of his hips. 

“I’m yours.” Viktor closes his hands over Yuuri’s, encouraging him to squeeze tighter. With every desperate thrust, he pulls Viktor hips down to meet him. “Only yours, Yuuri. Take it, take it. Please, take it.” 

Once, twice more, Yuuri pounds into him. And then he's all but doubling over with a stifled cry, " Viktor, Viktor."

Viktor swears he can feel Yuuri’s cock pulse as he comes, rutting deep inside him. Yuuri all but collapses on top of him, smearing Viktor’s own spend all over both of them. He pets Yuuri’s hair and kisses the side of his face as he comes down slowly.


It’s a long time before either of them bother to move. Viktor barely has the energy to sit up, so Yuuri scoops him up in his arms and carries him to the bathroom, which blessedly they have to themselves on the second floor. 

After they return to bed, Viktor curls himself around Yuuri, tucking his head under Yuuri’s chin. This is his favorite spot, where he can feel Yuuri’s heartbeat under his hands. Viktor closes his eyes and nuzzles his face against Yuuri’s neck. 

“Я тебя обожаю,” he whispers, and places a little kiss on Yuuri’s throat.

Yuuri smiles, unable to keep his eyes open a second longer. “大好きだよ.”

The rain is still falling and the eastern wind rattles the shutters outside as they finally fall back asleep.