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A Twisted SOB

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Despite his even, measured movements, Kurt’s face was a picture of controlled anger when he strode towards Diane’s open office door and gently shut it behind him.

“You’re lucky your guy’s innocent”, a pause, before he added. “This time, that is.”

Diane peered up from her papers and quirked an eyebrow in lieu of a question.

Kurt merely glowered.

Diane put her pen down and reclined slowly in her seat to take the time to properly register the disquiet underlying his serious expression. His dark look certainly got her attention as she wondered what had happened to cause it.

“Mr Sweeney isn’t the most sympathetic client I know…” she supplied carefully, as her mind raced through possible scenarios.

Kurt sniggered in agreement and took a few steps closer to stand behind the visitor’s seat the opposite side of her stately desk. Slightly leaning towards her, he rested his hands on the top of it. Diane didn’t fail to notice his fists were balled.

“Well?” She prompted finally.

Kurt shook his head a little in disbelief of the story he had to tell.

“Walked past a meeting room he was in, talking on the phone” he began.

Diane swiftly put up her hand “Stop. Do I as his attorney want to hear whatever this is?”

“What?” Kurt asked at first a little distracted at the interruption “No, this isn’t anything to do with legal concerns.” he elaborated, clocking on.

“Okaaaay” she said slowly.

“It’s about you,” he said simply.

“What about me?” she asked innocently.

Kurt sighed.

“He’s a twisted son of a bitch” he grumbled.

Diane’s stomach twisted in anticipation. She wasn’t unaware of Colin Sweeney’s wandering eyes on her person every so often. The occasional lecherous flash she saw in his eyes was something she assuredly chose not to dwell on.

“Yes?” she agreed. There was no point denying it.

“He was talking to someone on the phone about you. Walked past the room he was in just now on my way here.

He was boasting that having you brief him was the only saving grace of this huge inconvenience of the trial. He said it gave him the opportunity to... imagine things.”

Diane shut her eyes and wrinkled her nose in distaste

“Do I really need to hear this Kurt?” She asked seriously.

Kurt paused to think. He understood Diane not wanting to hear more but he was still grappling with the unsettling images Sweeney had conjured up for him. The main thrust of Colin’s imaginings had centered around the idea of Diane as his dominatrix, keeping him in line with a stern look and a whip.

When Colin had seen a fuming Kurt staring at him from through the clear glass in the hallway he had cocked his head in surprise. At first, he looked curiously at this strange angry stranger and then, maddeningly for Kurt, had switched to a demonic grin as he realised who he was.

“Oh!” he cried triumphantly “you’re her lover aren’t you?”

Kurt straightened up to his full height, staring the shorter man down as he walked closer to face him squarely from the doorway.

Colin arrogantly stood his ground, unperturbed by Kurt’s masculine energy of threat. He crossed his arms instead and whispered in the manner of a co-conspirator,

“I assure you sir, I can be the most discreet.” He licked his lips and continued “she’s the boss in the bedroom isn’t she? You can tell me in confidence.”

Kurt’s jaw pained him he had set it that tight, gritting his teeth. Holding his tongue before this insufferable client.

“You don’t say much do you?” asked Colin. Kurt could see his irritation that he had failed to rise to his bait. What a pathetic man, he thought witheringly.

Leaving Sweeney both a little confused and unsatisfied, Kurt marched on to his appointment with Diane to agree on the time for their dinner that evening, finding it hard to shake the grotesque picture their defendant had painted for him.


Kurt took a moment to think and sighed. She was right, she probably didn’t want to hear what Sweeney had just said. Knowing this wouldn’t help her represent him in court, but fuck it, she should be forearmed with the knowledge of what he was generally saying about her.

“Well, let's just say he’d like to be bossed about by you” Kurt settled on diplomatically.

Diane smiled inwardly a little at the almost sulky tone evident in his delivery. She thought a touch of humour here would be the best course of action.

“Jealous?” She teased. Her pale blue eyes sparkled appealingly at him.

Kurt narrowed his eyes slightly, wrong-footed by the unexpected challenge.

Whenever he had expressed his feelings for her in the past he had usually been met with a quick rebuff which is why he shifted a little uncomfortably for a moment as he quickly weighed up how much candour he should reply with.

He decided to avoid it for now.

“Sorry Kurt” she chuckled. “I am horrified, but I'm also not too surprised based on that man’s predilections which he’s always never taken any pains to hide.”

She now unfolded herself from her chair and rose gracefully to join him at his side. Her arms were open and poised for an easy embrace. Kurt cracked his first smile and welcomed her into him, his hands gently finding her hips. Her scent unmoored him and distracted him from the disturbing thoughts of Colin Sweeney, surrounded as he was by her loveliness. He had for a moment quite forgotten that he was supposed to be acting indignant.

He held her closer and Diane’s heart had started to beat a little faster. She felt a little breathless as she clarified,

“If I didn’t laugh, I’d have to cry….. or at least feel pretty disturbed. I’d rather laugh!”

As she did just that Kurt smiled indulgently at her and nodded. She was right but it didn't mean he had to like it.