Wow, this year has been…well…we all know. I haven’t posted since before the world decided to lose its mind, but I got inspired again. This Staubrey one-shot is inspired by Fletcher’s “Sex with My Ex.” Enjoy!
“Stop fidgeting. I can practically hear it through the phone,” teased Chloe and Aubrey had to bite her tongue to not lash out in a knee jerk response.
“I’m…not,” she grumbled as she plopped down on her bed to pout.
“It’s okay to be nervous. When is the last time you two saw each other?”
“Your birthday party, but we have been texting ever since. I never thought we would get back to the place where we could just talk and it not be awkward. I don’t want to mess that up again. Maybe this is a mistake.”
“I thought you said it was just dinner,” said Chloe and Aubrey rolled her eyes at the teasing tone.
“It is. I just…I don’t know. When she told me she was coming to New York for a conference, my first response was to invite her to dinner just like I would any other Bella. Cynthia Rose and I had a great time when she was here.”
“But you haven’t slept with Cynthia Rose. Huh, I wonder what that would be…”
“Focus, Chlo. Do you think this is a bad idea? Be honest with me.” Chloe sighed.
“No, I personally think exes can be friends. Look at Beca and Jesse, when he is in LA for a shoot, we invite him over for dinner and it isn’t awkward. I mean don’t get me wrong, it was the first time but that is to be expected.”
“Yea but Stacie and I aren't Beca and Jesse,” mumbled Aubrey as she lay back on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Chloe was quiet for a moment and let the words hang in the air to allow her best friend a moment to process them.
“You are still in love with her,” she stated more than questioned. Chloe had long expected as much, but knew Aubrey was too stubborn and defensive to admit it.
“This is a mistake. I should text her and cancel. I can say I have to work, which isn’t completely a lie. There is always work I can do from home to get ahead and…”
“If you are going to chicken out, she at least deserves a call.” Aubrey’s frown deepened.
“I’m not chickening out. I am doing what is best for the both of us.”
“Yea because that worked out so well before,” mumbled Chloe.
“Hey, that’s not fair,” defended Aubrey.
“Bree, you know I love you. You are my best friend and all I want is your happiness, which is why I am about to say something even if it pisses you off.” Aubrey took in a deep breath and gave a firm nod to herself to steady her resolve as her friend continued.
“You two screwed this one up. We don’t have to get into all the messy details but take it from someone who waited far too long to be with the person they love because of all the insecurities they were both feeling. What you and Stacie have is rare. You are still in love with her and she loves you too. I know you are scared and things are still complicated but giving up on her wasn’t the right choice.”
“I didn’t give up on her. She chose LA for grad school, not me. She could have chosen New York. She could have chosen me, but she didn’t. She chose to be with her best friend and move to the opposite coast, not me,” reminded Aubrey.
“You didn’t exactly stop her.”
“I shouldn’t have had to,” shouted Aubrey as she sat back up and Chloe was silent.
“I don’t know how I became the bad guy in all of this, which seems to be a thing with our group, but I was hurt just as much, if not more. We spent years doing long distance and working our asses off to be together and I thought we were working toward something. She never told me she was actually going to choose UCLA instead of NYU. She didn’t even tell me until long after her mind was made up, so please spare me the accusations. Yes, I still love her, but she made the decision for us and I wasn’t about to beg for her to want me as much as…” She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears from falling. The familiar sting and pain she promised herself she was over crept back in and she shook her head to push it all away.
“None of this matters. It has been over a year now and we finally can be friends again. I like having her in my life even if we aren't together.”
“Oh Bree, you are still so in love with her. I’m sorry for not bringing it up sooner. No one blames you for how things ended. I just meant it is tragic, you know? I know how happy you make each other and I wish this all wasn’t so complicated. You should see her tonight. Talk to her, she may surprise you.” Aubrey groaned.
“Or she may leave me with my heart ripped out of my chest again. Maybe this is too much too soon.”
“Or maybe it is a chance to say whatever needs to be said, whether that’s for closure or something else is up to the two of you, but Stacie was excited about getting to see you again.”
“Really,” Aubrey questioned with more hope in her voice than she wanted to admit.
“Beca told me. I’m not supposed to tell you that, but I figure my bestie could use a break. Stacie really wants to see you tonight so…” Aubrey’s phone beeped and signaled an incoming call. Her eyes widened when she saw the picture flash across the screen.
“Shit, it’s Stace. Um, let me call you back.”
“Aubrey Posen, don’t you dare cancel on her or…” Aubrey hung up on Chloe, a move she knew she would hear about later, and answered Stacie’s call. She cleared her throat and sat up straighter as she tried to casually give a greeting.
“Hey Stace, what’s up? Everything okay?” The sound of Stacie’s giggle made her stomach fill with butterflies and her heart flutter.
“Hey, yea, I finished up early. I know we aren't supposed to meet at the restaurant for another hour but I decided to take a shot and change the plan a bit. I really don’t feel like sitting in a stuffy, upscale restaurant tonight. Can we just hang out at your place?” Aubrey gulped as she tried to get her brain to process what Stacie was asking.
“Uh, sure, um…my place…you and me here,” she managed and Stacie giggled again, this time Aubrey detected a hint of nervousness.
“Is that okay?”
“Yes, of course, I…sorry, you caught me off guard.”
“You used to like it when I caught you off guard,” teased Stacie and Aubrey felt her skin flush with desire as she thought about one particular time Stacie pulled her into her arms and placed her on the kitchen counter in the middle of her preparing them dinner.
“No, I liked the orgasms that came with it,” Aubrey teased back.
“Noted. So, can I come over?”
“Of course, Stace.”
“Good, I’ll be there soon.” Aubrey gulped and hopped off of her bed when Stacie hung up. She cursed under her breath and tidied up her pristinely clean bedroom, tossing the only discarded clothes that were from her workday into the hamper in her closet before pausing.
“Shit, what am I doing,” she questioned out loud as she placed her face in her hands. Not only was she about to see her ex-girlfriend again, but she was coming to her apartment. The last time they saw each other was over three months ago at Chloe’s birthday party. Aubrey flew out to Los Angeles for the event, along with the rest of the Bellas. At first, the two kept their distance, which wasn’t difficult since Chloe wanted an elaborate party and Aubrey was put in charge after Beca got overwhelmed with the planning. Aubrey spent the first couple of days in town making arrangements, ordering catering, and organizing while Beca kept Chloe busy. She didn’t see Stacie until the night of the party, but the moment their eyes met again, all her fears melted away. They spent the night catching up and reminiscing about their time together at Barden, but steered clear of too much talk about their relationship.
After that night, Stacie was the first to text and they began talking throughout the day. She was the last person Aubrey messaged each night and usually the first each morning, unless a text from Chloe flashed across her screen first. Things between them finally seemed better after a heartbreaking end to their four-year relationship. The memories flooding her mind made her hesitate again and she glanced down at her phone as she thought about canceling. Her conversation with Chloe persuaded her not to though and she began rifling through her closet to find something to wear. She settled on a knee length, black pencil skirt and dark green crop top that showed a sliver of her toned stomach. She’d been working out and planned to show it off. She reapplied her lipstick in the bathroom mirror before running her hands through her hair. She suddenly wasn’t so sure about her shorter haircut and wondered if Stacie would like it. The thought made her pinch the bridge of her nose and groan.
“It’s just hanging out. Get a grip, Posen,” she assured herself. She dabbed on a bit of the perfume she knew Stacie loved on her just in case though. The sound of her intercom alerting her to a call made her eyes widened and she jogged over to the device on the wall in her bedroom to answer it.
“Yes,” she called.
“Miss Posen, you have a guest, Anastacia Conrad,” informed the security guard.
“Yes, please send her up. Thank you,” instructed Aubrey before taking in a deep breath to calm her nerves. She smoothed out her dress and tried her best not to pace as she waited for Stacie to arrive. It was both the longest and shortest wait and she felt the butterflies move into full throttle when she heard the knock on the door. Aubrey took a moment to compose herself before opening it. All thought ceased when she saw the brunette standing there in a black wrap dress. Aubrey’s eyes immediately shifted down to the ample cleavage the dress provided and Stacie smirked teasingly when she noticed.
“Nice to see you too,” she teased and a faint blush crept onto Aubrey’s cheeks as their eyes met.
“Hey Stace,” she said with a smile and Stacie smiled back.
“Hey Bree, can I come in?” Aubrey immediately nodded and opened the door wider for her.
“Of course,” she managed to get out as Stacie entered and began looking around.
“You redecorated,” Stacie stated.
“Just a bit. I wanted a change,” said Aubrey as she closed the door. Stacie walked over to the new hanging shelf on the wall beside the kitchen and traced her finger over the dark wood as she continued looking around at the added furniture and fixtures.
“It’s strange being here again and seeing how different it is,” admitted Stacie.
“It’s not that different. This is still my favorite couch,” assured Aubrey as she joined her on the couch in the living room.
“I know. I just haven’t seen it since…there used to be so many pictures of us in here. I remember how excited we both were when you moved in. Your first place was a shoebox.” Aubrey cringed at the thought.
“Yea, we found out the hard way that pictures can be deceiving, but we made it work.”
“Yea, we did,” agreed Stacie with a wistful smile as she thought about her first trip to New York City. Aubrey smiled back.
“You know I never told you this, but I wouldn’t have made it here without you. I was terrified of leaving Georgia, of leaving you,” she confessed and paused as she worked up the courage to continue. Their eyes locked and Stacie scooted closer to her.
“I was scared too. I was afraid everything would change,” confessed Stacie.
“It did, but we made it work. That was an amazing summer in our little shoebox apartment.”
“It really was,” agreed Stacie with a serene smile, but then it faded as she looked down. “I always figured I would end up here with you. It’s why I was so excited when you got the promotion at work and found this place. Helping you move in and decorate it was like helping to decorate my home too.” Aubrey frowned at the words.
“Come on, Stace, you never wanted this to be your home.” Stacie’s frown matched hers.
“Of course I did.”
“Then what changed,” asked Aubrey before she could stop herself. She sighed when Stacie flinched at the accusation in her tone.
“Never mind, don’t answer that,” she added, but Stacie shook her head.
“Maybe I should. I mean we have to have the talk at some point, right? We can't keep acting like…” Stacie paused and Aubrey was surprised by the hesitation. The brunette was not one to hold back.
“Acting like what, like we are trying to be friends again,” asked Aubrey.
“Is that what you want? For us to only be friends,” questioned Stacie and Aubrey scoffed.
“What kind of question is that, Stace?”
“An honest question, what do you want from me, Bree?”
“I think it’s a little late for that conversation, don’t you? It has been a year and now you want to ask me that,” challenged Aubrey and Stacie crossed her arms.
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it? You made that decision for us when you went to LA.”
“Wow, you really do have selective memory about this, don’t you,” Stacie said with an incredulous laugh.
“Then how about you fill in the blanks for me,” suggested Aubrey as she crossed her arms as well.
“You told me to go. You practically pushed me out the door,” accused Stacie.
“That is not what happened.”
“I told you I was looking into graduate schools and NYU had a good program, but UCLA was recruiting me. My dad wanted me to choose them because they had one of the best bioengineering programs in the country. You told me I should go.”
“I told you I wouldn’t stand in your way. There’s a difference.”
“It needed to be your choice, Stace. We needed to be your choice. What was I supposed to do? Beg you to choose me? I shouldn’t have had to do that, not after everything we put into our relationship. If you didn’t know how much I love, how much I…if we weren't enough for you, then we never were going to be,” defended Aubrey as tears filled her eyes. Silence painfully crept into the room as the tension thickened between them. The unspoken words and tension were always right beneath the surface with every conversation, but they were finally bubbling to the top. Aubrey was surprised when she looked up and saw tears in Stacie’s eyes as well.
“You were enough, Bree. You have always been enough. I just didn’t want to be the stupid kid following you to New York that you would eventually let down easy. I was so damn in love with you and it scared me how easily I was willing to give up everything, especially since you made it seem so simple to do the opposite. It all seemed so simple to you, either I stayed or went, you would be fine either way.”
“I didn’t want to pressure you.”
“So you iced me out,” challenged Stacie and Aubrey wanted to protest, but sighed.
“I wasn’t…I was trying to protect myself and salvage whatever was going to be left of my heart when you left,” she confessed as she wiped away a tear from her cheek.
“Losing you was hard. It was harder than I ever thought possible, but I thought you wanted UCLA, that you wanted to go, and no, Stace, I wasn’t going to beg you to stay and love me the way I needed you to, even if it broke me in the process. So, yea, maybe I did put back up my walls, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want or love you. It’s because I love you so damn much that there are still times I feel like I will fall apart if I don’t hold myself together.” She was caught off guard when Stacie’s lips were on hers, but it only took her a second to recover. Her hands immediately grabbed Stacie’s hips, hoisting the brunette onto her lap and Stacie straddled her.
It all happened in a frenzied blur of lust, desire, and yearning. It was not the first time the two ended up on the couch, too caught up in the moment to make it to the bedroom. Stacie moaned when Aubrey untied her dress to expose the hardened nipples waiting to be lavished with her tongue. Her back arched as Aubrey sucked and nipped at her breasts, working her into delirium. Aubrey pulled the rest of dress off of her and Stacie made quick work of Aubrey’s top.
“Fuck I missed you,” she groaned as Aubrey’s finger slipped into her soaked panties.
“Bree,” she whimpered and Aubrey watched through hooded eyes as Stacie rode her fingers. She rocked her hips back and forth, coming closer to the edge with each pass of Aubrey’s thumb over her clit. She let out a curse when Aubrey pulled back and gasped when the blonde placed her on the couch. Aubrey tossed Stacie’s panties by the discarded dress and lavished the inside of her thighs with hungry kisses. Stacie tried not to scream out in pleasure, but had no choice when Aubrey buried her face between her legs. It did not take long for Stacie’s body to surrender to the pleasure and Aubrey moaned as Stacie shivered and shook against her tongue. The blonde smiled smugly and placed sweet kisses on Stacie’s stomach, trailing the hot kisses up to her neck. She giggled when Stacie grabbed her face and kissed her, remembering how much Stacie loved to taste herself on Aubrey’s tongue.
Soon, the slow, teasing kisses grew passionate again and Stacie rolled on top of her. She unzipped Aubrey’s skirt and peeled it off before doing the same with the blonde’s panties. Stacie lingered in the nook of Aubrey’s neck to suck on the spot she knew would get the response she wanted. Aubrey’s body responded in kind as Stacie sucked, nipped, and kissed her neck. She sank two fingers deeply into Aubrey and the blonde whimpered and moaned as she bucked her hips to meet each thrust. Stacie peppered kisses down to Aubrey’s breasts and began sucking tenderly on her nipples as she quickened the pace with her fingers.
“Stace,” Aubrey shouted out as a wave of pleasure crashed into her. Stacie watched her ride her fingers faster as she orgasmed and came undone. The sight of Aubrey in the throes of passion, caring about nothing but the desire coursing through her, always turned Stacie on even more and she replaced her fingers with her tongue to lap at Aubrey’s folds. Aubrey bucked her hips up again in response to the familiar sensation of Stacie’s tongue stroking everywhere but her clit. Her body was sensitive and yet on the verge yet again with each pass of Stacie’s tongue.
“Baby, please,” she whimpered as her fingers slipped into Stacie’s hair, begging for more, and Stacie was more than happy to give her everything she needed. The moment her tongue flicked her clit, another orgasm surged through Aubrey and Stacie moaned in pleasure as the blonde rode her face in ecstasy. Aubrey melted back into the couch and sighed contently when Stacie curled up behind her and nuzzled her neck. It was a position they found themselves in many times before and a sense of relief washed over them as the fatigue set in and their bodies gave in to slumber.
Aubrey was the first to wake up. The apartment grew cold in the frigid morning air and the sun was hidden behind thick clouds. She gently placed a blanket on Stacie before turning on the heat and creeping into her bedroom to find her robe. It was hanging in her closet and she wrapped it around herself as a box on the top shelf caught her eye. Before she could stop herself, she grabbed and placed it on the floor to open. The memories flooded back in as she pulled out the Barden hoodie Stacie always wore when she came to visit. Aubrey closed her eyes as she buried her nose in it and could still smell the faintest hint of Stacie’s body spray. Letters Stacie wrote her were scattered throughout the box as well. Aubrey always found it romantic that even though Stacie was a tech genius, she still loved sending handwritten notes to show her affection more than texts. Several framed pictures of the two of them were in the box, something Aubrey added when she finally mustered up the courage to take down the photos after their breakup. She grabbed one and stared adoringly at it as she remembered their trip to Cancun with the Bellas. It was taken after they admitted they loved each other and finally told their friends about their relationship.
“That’s one of my favorites.” Aubrey jumped and spun around to see Stacie leaning against the door of the closet with a blanket wrapped around her naked body.
“Mine too,” agreed Aubrey. Stacie made her way over to her and wrapped her arms around the blonde from behind. Aubrey melted into her touch as Stacie kissed her neck.
“Morning, Bree,” she whispered in her ear and Aubrey sighed.
“Morning,” she whispered back.
“I remember how nervous I was to say I love you. I’d never said it before. I’d never actually felt it before. I was terrified you didn’t feel the same and didn’t want to ruin our trip by saying it too soon,” confessed Stacie as she placed her chin on Aubrey’s shoulder to stare at the picture.
“I was too. You’re the only person I’ve ever said it to.” Aubrey looked down and Stacie buried her nose in her hair.
“You are the only person I’ve ever loved,” assured Stacie and Aubrey sighed.
“Stace, what are we doing,” she questioned.
“What feels right,” defended Stacie and Aubrey scoffed.
“Sex with you always feels right, but I don’t know many people who would agree that sex with their ex is the right move.”
“Last night wasn’t just sex to me, Aubrey.” Aubrey gulped at the confession and turned in Stacie’s arms. She sighed in relief when she saw the sincerity in her eyes.
“It wasn’t just sex to me either,” agreed Aubrey.
“Good,” said Stacie as she nuzzled her neck. Aubrey groaned.
“But it still doesn’t answer the question. Stacie, it has taken me so long to even start to get over you. Now I feel like I’m right back where I started. I don’t know if I can hurt over you like that again,” she said with tears in her eyes and Stacie cupped her face.
“Then don’t. Look, we both made choices in our relationship out of fear and a lack of communication. I don’t want to make those same mistakes again. I have so many regrets already. Beca is right. I need to be honest with you. I am still in love with you and I don’t want to lose you again.” Aubrey ran a hand through Stacie’s hair and gazed lovingly into her eyes.
“I still love you too, but I can't do long distance again, not without an end in sight. It hurts too much.”
“Then we won’t,” said Stacie with a shrug as if it was simple.
“Look, I know we are good in bed together, but don’t tell me I made that genius brain of yours forget where we each live. We might as well be oceans apart.” Stacie kissed her forehead and laced their fingers together.
“I am in my last year of my Master’s program and have to decide if I want to stay at UCLA for a doctoral degree or go somewhere else. Of course I love UCLA and being so close to Beca and Chloe, but I love you more. I don’t want there to be any doubt this time. Aubrey, I want you. I need you in my life.” Aubrey searched her eyes for any hesitation and smiled when she found none.
“I love you too. I don’t want to lose you again. I also don’t want you to give up everything you have in LA for me.”
“Jesus Christ, Posen, I swear if…” Aubrey cut her off with a tender kiss before leaning her forehead against hers.
“I’m kind of over New York. I wanted to prove to myself that I could make it here and do all the things my father wanted me to do, but it is lonely and I miss my family. You are my family, Stace. You and Chloe are my family…and I guess Beca too…if we are being technical about things.” Stacie giggled at the comment, but then frowned in confusion.
“So what are you saying? You want to move to LA? Are you sure? New York was your dream,” questioned Stacie.
“Dreams change. I want you and our friends and the sun and heat and beaches and…I’m a Southerner, I can only deal with a lack of sunshine for so long.”
“So your decision is about a lack of vitamin D,” teased Stacie and Aubrey nodded with a giggle.
“Totally, it has absolutely nothing to do with the gorgeous woman who has my heart and gives me toe-curling orgasms.”
“Speaking of toe-curling orgasms,” said Stacie before untying Aubrey’s robe. Aubrey moaned when Stacie’s hands cupped her backside.
“You know another thing I miss,” asked Aubrey as she shivered under Stacie’s touch.
“Morning sex,” teased Stacie.
“Morning sex in the shower,” said Aubrey as she gave her a seductive wink and pulled her toward the bathroom. Her phone buzzed on her nightstand and Stacie smirked as she glanced over at it.
“Oh yea, I forgot. Beca texted me. That’s what woke me up. Pretty sure Chloe is blowing up your phone to find out what happened between us. I’ll let you deal with your bestie, but don’t take long. You know I will start without you.” Aubrey’s eyes darkened with lust as Stacie sauntered into the bathroom. She quickly grabbed her phone and rolled her eyes at the missed call and text messages she had.
Aubrey Elizabeth Posen, are you having sex with your ex right now?!
Aubrey shook her head in amusement and smiled even more when Stacie called to her from the shower. She typed out a quick text and sent it before jogging to the shower.
She’s not my ex.