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lay with me (like a renaissance painting)

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It’s an accident the first time it happens.

To be more precise, the first time it happens is because Lena is easy and extremely weak and Kara’s blinding grin and eye-smile could get her to walk through the cold and harsh rain, even though Lena hates being cold and drenched more than anything.

Kara is on the foot of Lena’s bed early one afternoon, asking about Lena’s new book, what is it about and who are the characters, and listening to Lena explain the plot and how she’s enjoying it so far, and then Lena keeps reading and Kara is working and then—

Then there’s a thud that Lena hears, coming from in front of her. She looks away from her book and sees Kara on the floor, blinking sleepily. Kara mumbles something under her breath and casually puts her head down on the carpet like she’s going to go back to sleep right then and there.

“Kara, no.” Lena can’t stop the laugh from rumbling out of her throat. “Darling.”

“M’ good. I’m working.” Kara murmurs, sniffling a little. “M’working, Lena leave me ‘lone.” She rubs her face and yawns, pillowing her head on her arm, and it’s probably the cutest thing Lena has ever seen.

“That’s... you’re not working, Kara. You’re sleeping,” Lena says. “On my floor,” she adds, walking over and crouching by her best friend.

Kara frowns and mumbles something that Lena doesn’t catch, so she leans forward and puts her ear near to Kara’s mouth.

“Kara? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“M’not sleeping,” Kara whispers and Lena breathes a laugh, puts her face in her hands and thinks, oh god, Kara Danvers, and also Lena is not ridiculously endeared right now—

When Lena lifts her head again, there is a very soft and sleepy smile playing at the corners of Kara’s mouth.

“Like when you laugh like that,” Kara says quietly, voice hoarse with sleep but so so fond, fingers tugging the carpet near Lena’s knee, like she was going to touch but changed her mind at the last second.

Lena clears her throat and then pokes at Kara’s shoulder until Kara sits up and then, with some gentle prodding and tugging, she gets Kara to stand and fall backwards onto her bed.

Only Kara grabs at Lena, and pulls almost hard, and Lena ends up laying half on top of Kara, hands pressed flat against Kara’s chest.

“Okay. Let’s take a nap?” Kara asks falteringly, skin flushing pink over her collarbones, hands balling and unballing like she thinks she should let go of Lena but doesn’t want to.

“What?” Lena whispers—croaks.

“Nap with me. You were working without a break earlier—you should rest your eyes a little now,” Kara explains. “ We both need rest—it works out.” She bites her lip, furrows her brow. “You see?” she asks, when Lena doesn’t reply.

It’s a dangerous feeling, wanting to kiss someone so much, and Lena is pretty much an expert on the Not Kissing Kara Danvers field at this point.

Lena thinks she should tell Kara how she feels—but also it’s just a crush (a lie she likes to tell herself—it’s not just a fucking crush, but hey, leave her be anyways), and she enjoys their friendship too much to ruin it over a crush. She gets very nervous every time she thinks that maybe Kara won’t smile all sweet fond at her, won’t be comfortable draping herself over Lena’s back when it’s just the two of them while she watches Lena work, won’t come to Lena for comfort whenever she’s upset as. They get along, soft and easy, just falling into each others space, and Lena doesn't want to ruin it. Doesn't want to risk it.

“Okay,” Lena says, extracting herself gently from Kara’s embrace, sitting up and shoving her hands through her hair so that she has something to do with them. “I guess—we could both use a nap.”

“Really?” Kara asks. She rubs her eyes behind her glasses, cheeks looking red. “I mean, only if you want to. I should probably just keep working and you can keep reading your book—”

Lena grabs the pillow she keeps at the top of her closet and shakes it out, placing it next to her pillow. She lies down, grabbing the comforter and gesturing for Kara to come join her.

“You don’t have to—”

“Go to sleep or I’ll bite you,” Lena chides lightly. Bite. Lena doesn’t even know where that came from, but she’s going to roll with it. “It’s fine. The longer you stall, the more you lose nap time.”

“Okay,” Kara acquiesces immediately, voice quiet, “but, Lena, I just have to confirm—bite? You’re threatening to bite me? Wow.”

“Kara,” Lena warns.

“Bite me,” Kara repeats, tilting her head, and then— “Golly. Where would you even bite me? Because I have ideas. Like my bicep or my neck or my—”

Anywhere you want, Lena’s brain answers quickly, and thinks of some really vivid and inappropriate images. Lena stores these images on a little mental box and puts that box in another box, and then smashes the box with a large hammer until there’s nothing but smashed shards. She must be looking at Kara in some type of funny way, because Kara just grins at her, and says, “I’m joking. Unless, of course, the threat is very real, or maybe it’s just an excuse so you could really bite me—”

Lena cups Kara’s face and looks at her straight in the eye, her cheeks colouring pink as she tries to keep her voice steady. “Kara, lay down and go to sleep.”

Her best friend laughs and whispers okay and Lena feels the bed dip as she settles. Lena waits a little bit before she opens her eyes, but Kara is still awake, looking at Lena quietly.

“Lena,” Kara whispers, so soft and quiet Lena thinks she might’ve imagined it. But then Kara utters a small hi, and.

Yeah. Lena wants to touch. She doesn’t move. Knowing Kara, Lena doesn’t have to do anything, just watches Kara, waits for Kara to—

Kara wriggles a hand out from under the covers and pets Lena’s hair, watches as the slight furrow in Lena’s brow disappears. Lena makes a soft sound, and leans into the touch, eyes falling closed, breathing slowing. Drifting off.

This is new, and Lena's not sure what to think. Whenever Kara stays over, she usually takes the guest room. Lena falls into a dreamless sleep that lasts until someone’s phone vibrates, startling them both awake.

Kara rubs the sleep out of her eyes and reaches blindly on the bed for her phone. When she glances at the screen she freezes for a second, and then looks over at Lena.

“Okay, so napping didn’t go according to plan,” Kara says, voice rough with sleep in a way that Lena tries very hard not to enjoy, “and I’m not sure where we ended on the biting thing, so maybe keep it cool and don’t act rashly, but I think I should tell you that was definitely not a short nap.”

And then Lena can’t stop her laughter, and they both crack up, loud and carefree.

 


 

On her walk to work the next morning, Lena almost convinces herself that she dreamt the entire night. She still couldn’t believe it. If she hadn’t woken up under the weight of Kara’s body laying against her chest, she would have blamed it on a lucid dream after drinking too much tea before bed.

She let Kara sleep in and tried not to stare at her sleeping form too much as she got ready for her day. Before walking out the door, she sent her a quick text telling her to let herself out whenever and to help herself to whatever was in the kitchen. She also asked her to let her know how she was feeling.

It is way too late in the day when Kara replies to her, letting her know that she’s fine, and thanking her for letting her stay the night.

Lena lets her know it was no problem and then doesn’t hear from her for two days.

 


 

The next time it happens it goes like this:

“Do you like cats?” Kara asks breathlessly, bursting into the penthouse in a rush of cold air, cheeks red, eyes bright, so pretty it hurts. Kara has a habit of catching Lena off-guard, and like clockwork, the little voice in Lena’s head says like you, like you, more than like you every time. Tonight, after an all day of boardroom meetings and presentations, and then getting caught in traffic on the way home, Lena feels extremely unprepared for Kara.

There’s a smile on her face and it softens when Lena acknowledges that she’s here.

“I hope you know this could probably count as breaking and entering,” Lena murmurs.

Kara makes a light noise, shrugging her shoulders. “Doesn’t count if you keep the balcony open always for me,” she says.

“For you? How presumptuous.”

“Presumptuous, sure, but am I wrong?” Kara walks over towards Lena, her Supergirl suit slowly vanishing and is replaced with grey sweatpants and white shirt.

Lena clears her throat and sets down her tea on the coffee table. “To answer your question earlier, yes, I do like cats,” she says, choosing to go back to the original topic. “I like cats. A lot. Cute little fluff balls, always searching for the warmest spot.”

Kara beams and plops down right next to Lena. She rests her cheek against Lena’s thigh and looks up at her with big open eyes.

“Okay, guess what. Today I got to do one of those hero cliches—rescuing a cat from a really tall tree. Lena, despite what people say about Superheroes and saving cats from tall trees, it’s not often I get to do that!”

Kara is looking up at her, her head on Lena’s thigh, and Lena’s brain is kind of having a hard time catching up to what’s happening.

“Yeah? That’s—great,” Lena responds, throat dry. She reaches a hand out to pet Kara’s hair, but it ends up freezing in the air. She can’t bring herself to touch—Kara feels unreal, and so does this situation. Feels strange, close to something else, the world seeming syrupy slow around her, warm and golden. Lena must be imagining this, dreaming maybe, fell asleep in her office. Kara hadn’t been planning to come over tonight, that Lena knew for sure. “Puppy saves cat from a tall tree.” Lena smiles. “Hey, didn’t you have that Catco dinner celebration thing?”

“Lena,” Kara implores, twisting around Lena’s leg and tilting her head, her eyes warm and earnest. Lena gives in and touches Kara’s head with her trembling hand. “I wasn’t in the mood for drinking, so I left early.” Kara presses her cheek back into Lena’s thigh. “Anyway, the cat. It was a stray and—before you ask, no I didn’t sneak her into my no-pets-allowed apartment.”

“I wasn’t even thinking of asking that,” Lena says, and tucks a strand of hair behind Kara’s ear. It scares Lena how full her heart is when she looks at Kara. “But now that you mention it, you sound awfully suspicious. Did you take the cat home?”

“What?” Kara snorts, licks her lips and looks left and right. “No, of course not—there are rules, Lena—okay, yes, fine I admit but only because she wanted food! Poor cat was scared and hungry. Golly, you got that out of me so fast. You’d make a good detective, or something.”

Lena blinks at Kara’s rambling. “Darling, I didn’t even try,” she replies drily.

Kara pouts, and Lena smiles.

They fall into a conversation, speaking soft so as to keep their night gentle and quiet. Lena tells Kara about her day, asks more about Kara’s, suggests a new song she heard today and thought Kara might like. It goes on, until it turns into a comfortable sleepy silence. Lena thinks she should probably send Kara home, but she doesn’t want to. She wants Kara to stay here.

It’s because of the way Kara arrived, she tells herself—casual and comfortable, reaching out to touch, whispering about cats—that’s what stops Lena. And it is, Kara had looked so happy and maybe a little lost when she arrived, but it’s also just that Lena doesn’t want her to go. Feels better with Kara here.

A little selfish.

Kara yawns and rubs her cheek against Lena’s thigh. “Can I get a pillow?” she whispers, as though Lena is going to let Kara’s body curl up uncomfortably on the short couch. “And maybe new sweatpants,” she adds, sucking her lower lip into her mouth, “the biggest size you have because you are short.”

Lena’s baffled. “Really, Kara?”

“Gonna bite me now?” Kara asks, her grin bright and so soft and absolutely pretty, and Lena takes an uneven breath.

“You can stay here and sleep with me,” Lena replies, stuck on the fact that Kara wants to sleep here again, and it takes another two seconds for her brain to catch up on what she just said.

Kara stiffens under her touch and Lena feels alarmed and unreasonably afraid.

“That’s if you’re too tired to fly back to yours. Guest room or my bed, whichever.” Lena licks her lips and looks away, scratches behind Kara’s ear, trying to make the movement natural. It’s just, Kara barging into her home with a pretty smile and then casually laying her head on Lena’s thighs. Yeah, way to surprise a girl. “If you want, I mean. I don’t mind at all, you don't have to but if you want to.”

Note to self: learn how to shut the fuck up sometime soon.

“Sure,” Kara confirms with a tiny sigh. She’s studying Lena’s face suddenly, and Lena tries to ignore the clench in her gut.

“What is it?”

“Um. You have a loose lash on your left cheek,” Kara answers softly. “Make a wish.”

Lena touches her cheek and misses the lash. Kara laughs.

“Here, let me.” Kara’s hand lifts up and touches Lena’s face, her eyes focused on the stray lash.

Lena feels her hands awkwardly resting beside her and she lifts one to Kara’s abdomen, in what she hopes to be an innocent gesture. It’s just for convenience purposes, nothing else. It’s not because Kara’s muscles are one of her absolute favourite things in the world.

And because Kara’s taking her sweet time removing the lash, Lena can't help but to press into it lightly, just wanting to know if they are really as soft and also solid as they look.

Kara stops her fumbling and locks eyes with Lena, her fingers are still on her cheek and maybe Lena should ask how long it could possibly take to remove a loose lash, but she doesn’t.

Kara’s eyes are curious as she watches her, but she does nothing to stop Lena when she applies pressure again, hand splayed over Kara’s abdomen. She can feel the rippling of abs just there, and—

“What are you doing?” Kara says, her voice so low and deliberate, controlled. Lena has never heard her use this voice before, and it’s—hot.

“I don't know,” Lena replies, because she really doesn’t.

She doesn’t know what she’s doing.

“Your hand,” Kara states, as if explaining it, lifting one of her brows teasingly. And instead of fixing the lash problem, her hand lowers a little bit on Lena’s face, her thumb stroking softly at the skin of her cheek.

Lena doesn’t say anything. A smile tugs at the corner of Kara’s mouth.

“Can’t tell if you’re trying to tickle me, or feel me up.”

“Well.” Lena smiles wryly. “What do you prefer?”

“I’d rather the latter—you know I’m ticklish. You can touch, if you want,” Kara whispers.

Lena pauses sharply. Inhales softly, exhales. Her hand moves over the curves and divots of Kara’s abs, gently tracing.

There’s a palpable tension in the air. But the truth is that there’s been a palpable tension between them for a very long time and it’s nothing new despite the way it presses in on Lena at every opportunity.

Lena doesn’t have to look at Kara to know that her eyes are on her, steadily watching her every movement.

With a shaky breath, she splays her fingers across Kara’s abdomen, her hot-running skin and the hard muscles. Thinks, wonders dangerously what it’d feel like being pressed onto the mattress, Kara pinning her with her weight.

When her hand reaches the hem of Kara’s shirt, just when she’s about to slip her hand underneath, suddenly there’s a loud vibration—

Someone’s phone vibrates loudly on the coffee table, it’s Lena’s, and oh, jesus, at this time? What the fuck—

Lena finally breathes out, something tight unravelling in her chest as the tension lifts. She looks away and reaches for her phone. Kara sits up silently.

“It’s… my assistant. It’s about work.”

Kara nods. “You should answer it, then,” she says, and when Lena opens her mouth to speak, Kara shakes her head. There’s a teasing, attractive grin on her face. “Maybe you can feel me up next time?” Kara says way, way too casually, and Lena kind of just blinks (and dies inside), not sure what to say to that. “Off to sneak into your bed! Your bed is better than the guest room’s. See you there?”

Lena nods, staring at the lovely pink blooming across Kara’s cheeks.

“Sure,” she croaks out.

(Later, when Lena slides into bed they don’t talk about what happened earlier. Lena assumes it’s because there is nothing to talk about.

Later later, Lena stirs awake, turning to see a perfect view of Kara’s sleeping face. It knocks the air out of her lungs. Kara’s got a gorgeous profile, she thinks weakly. The way the silver of moonlight hits her lips and elongates the shadows makes them look even softer and Lena suddenly wants to kiss her so badly.)

 


 

When Lena was new to the Superfriends, Lena would fall asleep on Kara's couch after game night, energy all drained. When everything was quiet and people started leaving one by one, Lena would drift off to their silence or mild banter and sometimes even laughter. Often she would wake up to a blanket thrown over her and a pillow forced gently under her head.

They were always Kara's. Of course they were.

These days, she tries to be more careful. After game nights, Lena still wakes up to something thrown over her—a sweater or a hoodie and eventually a blanket once they establish, silently, that that is just how they are.

And according to the others, they're:

“Useless,” Alex says.

“Soft,” Kelly says.

“Dorks,” Winn says.

“Odd,” Brainy says.

“Predictable,” Sam says.

“Useless soft predictable odd dorks,” Nia says.

And, well.

Yeah.

 


 

Rain.

It’s raining and Lena already regrets choosing to walk instead of driving to her favourite cafe. She stands outside, shaded from the rain, fresh cup of coffee in hand, muttering a curse when she drips water all over the place.

She didn’t get here fast enough, and now she’s wet.

“Raining. Think there’s gonna be a storm?” someone says behind her, a woman’s voice—soft and soothing—and oh, oh god, Lena turns around quickly with wide eyes.

“Kara,” she breathes, and shakes her head with a delighted smile. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Kara smiles back—the private, adoring one that Lena’s only seen aimed at her, and she comes closer. Kara, too, has a cup of coffee in hand.

Her white collared shirt is soaked through, clinging to her shoulders and back, and—and what the fuck, all coherent thoughts quickly leave Lena’s head when her eyes wander. The reporter's long sleeves are rolled up, which only makes the muscle corded along her arms all the more obvious, the fabric bunched up tight at her elbows. Lena’s eyes catch on the toned muscles where the fabric hugs Kara’s frame firmly.

Kara’s biceps are bulging underneath her shirt. Jesus fucking christ.

There’s no other way to put it despite Lena’s best efforts. Kara looks like one of those Greek statues, rippling muscle and hand carved abs, the cut of her jaw too sharp to be real.

(Lena is still pretty fucking haunted by what happened that other night, but she’d rather not get into that right now—)

Lena looks away and frantically tugs the hair tie out of her hair, slipping it around her wrist, swallowing heavily. Shoves fingers into her wet hair, shakes it out as she shuffles over to Kara.

“I know, right? Imagine meeting the one and only, Lena Luthor, outside some random cafe on a rainy day. What’re the chances?”

Lena chuckles weakly, looking down. “Noonan’s. It’s not just some random cafe, Kara.”

Kara's hand touches her hair. Lena breathes slowly, leans into the touch and angles her face towards Kara. She stays quiet as Kara runs her fingers through her hair, Kara's eyes following her hand like it’s something interesting.

She's playing with Lena's hair and it feels so nice, Lena's kind of having a hard time keeping it together. And Lena lets her, always lets her. It's comforting, her touch. Lena looks at the road, wrapping arms around herself as a shudder she’s unable to keep down runs down her body. The hand on her hair goes still, and Lena bites her bottom lip, feels hyperaware of her surroundings. She's embarrassed. 

“Ah, are you cold?” Kara asks, and she doesn't remove her hand. What she does is, she lets it slide down the back of Lena’s neck, until it reaches at her nape, just softly, tender, but Lena feels as though everything comes to a stop, and she can only feel this point of contact.

“The rain,” Lena manages softly, “is kinda cold.”

It’s quiet, for a while. Lena's heart won't stop beating fast.

“Think I'm any warm?” Kara's hand stays on her neck, her thumb brushing just right across her skin. Lena bites the inside of her cheek.

“You’re warm,” she says quietly. You’re always warm.

And that's when arms wrap around Lena; Kara pulls her close and into her arms. Lena stiffens but is quick to relax, because Kara—it’s Kara.

She’s tucked in--she fits perfectly in Kara’s side, her arms still crossed over her chest while she carefully holds her coffee.

“How did you even get wet,” Lena murmurs, sniffles a little, and lets herself lean into Kara’s touch. “You have super-speed.”

Kara chuckles softly. “Can’t exactly super-speed when there are people around me, looking at me.”

Lena hums. Despite the gloomy weather, Lena feels good. Relaxed and okay. The outside world is busy, but time stands still when they're together. It’s nice.

The pouring rain is over soon. They detach from one another when the rain has ceased, before the outside fills with people again.

It's quiet. 

Their gazes meet. Kara smiles. Lena can't help but think about this lovely woman, about how Kara makes her feel like there’s so much love inside of her. It's not scary and uncomfortable. It used to scare her. Kara makes her soft, makes her feel herself. She looks at her and thinks, being in Kara's space is the safest place she knows. It was inevitable, really. That Lena would feel drawn to it. The light.

 


 

It’s Autumn and Lena feels like she’s been hit by a massive truck—it’s like her body getting back to her, punishing her for the countless all-nighters and her poor eating and drinking habits. She insists it's just a cold, stubborn in her approach, she's okay, she's fine, but Kara isn't listening. She takes Lena by the hand and guides her to the bed. Lena weakly just lets her.

Lena has dreams about her brother holding a gun pointed at her. The Kryptonian, she’s only here to bring chaos and destruction to the world. All I want is to protect us—everyone—so how could you choose her over me! She wakes up shivering in cold sweat, nauseated and dizzy and unsure whether she’d dreamed Kara’s hand in her hair and her voice whispering things Lena wanted to hear.

It's two in the morning and Kara's trying to be quiet in the kitchen but Lena can hear it all. She can hear her groan as she spills something and hears her sigh as she tries to cook, Lena's not sure, but she just knows Kara's attempting to cook something that would make her feel better.

It does, but it does so much more—it makes Lena feel a truly indefinable mess of things, a mix of happiness and sadness and deep deep deep affection. Tiredly, she moves out of the bedroom and into the kitchen wrapped in a blanket, and falls against Kara’s back, forehead against her nape.

“Lena?” Kara whispers, and Lena feels fingers in her hair. She leans into the touch. “Hey… hi. Are you okay? Sorry, was I too loud?”

Lena shakes her head against Kara’s nape, then presses her cheek against the back of Kara’s shoulder.

“It's two in the morning, what are you doing? You should be sleeping, Kara.”

“I'm... you should be sleeping.” Kara lets out this small huff. It makes Lena smile. It also makes her really, really sad. She doesn’t quite tear up, but she sniffs, and Kara doesn’t ask her whether she’s crying or has a runny nose because why would she. Who would cry over a simple nice gesture. Kara's hand runs through her hair. It's just light touches, but it feels so nice.

“So what are you doing?” Lena asks, even though she already knows.

“I’m—well, I’m trying. To make you soup like Eliza used to make it whenever I felt unwell. I just… I think it'd make you feel better, maybe.”

“Kara...”

Kara shrugs, scratches her brow. “Go back to bed, okay? I’ll be there soon.”

“No,” Lena whines, content to stay here, standing wrapped in her blanket. When Kara turns around carefully, Lena is quick to snuggle and fit herself in Kara’s arms, burying her flushed face in Kara’s neck. She can’t smell anything and it fucking sucks.

“Lena... I will pick you up and carry you to the bed,” Kara threatens.

There’s often something a little bit teasing, a little bit cocky about Kara lately. It’s not good for Lena.

“Mm, that’s sexy,” Lena mumbles drowsily. She squishes her face against Kara’s skin, hating how she’s unable to breathe in that familiar, comforting scent. “Don’t doubt that’s a real threat, knowing you can easily do that.”

In the end, Kara does exactly that and carries one sick, pink-cheeked Lena Luthor to bed.

“Stay here.” Kara runs her finger down the centre of Lena’s palm, touch tender and gentle. “Can you stay here for me, Lena? I’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, okay.” Lena sniffles and nods. She sits on the edge of the bed feeling like—she’s on the edge of something. She just can’t really tell what, which leaves her feeling flustered and lost. Watches Kara quietly when Kara comes back in, holding a bowl of steaming hot soup.

“It’s—um. It’s not as good as Eliza’s,” she says with a shy smile, “but it’s the closest I could get and—and it’s probably better than Alex’s version, too. It’s really hot, so you should wait for a while.”

When Kara starts moving away, Lena catches her by the hand quickly. She squeezes the hand, trying not to look desperate, and leans forward, face coming to rest against Kara’s abdomen.

“Kara,” she asks quietly, “can you stay?” A beat later, and then Kara’s hand cups her flushed cheek, runs down her neck, rests on her shoulder. Her touch feels so nice. It always does. Lena's heart is beating embarrassingly fast.

“Yeah,” Kara breathes, “of course.” Lena opens her mouth, closes it. Stay for a bit, sit down with me, she was going to say, is going to say now, but then—

Kara tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Let's wait for the soup to cool down. Get into bed, I’ll join you.”

“You know I'm sick,” Lena protests groggily, head foggy, “what happens if you get sick, too.”

Her best friend laughs quietly, eyes warm, warm, warm. “Lena, I’m not human. Have you forgotten?” Fingers tug gently at Lena’s hair. Lena still frowns at that, and it deepens when Kara looks at her as if she’s amused. What’s there to be amused by one sick Luthor? “All right—if I do get sick, that’s okay. Then you’ll just have to take care of me. I'll lie down with you. If you want, that is.”

Once they’re lying in bed, Kara is pressed up against her back, her fingers softly moving across Lena’s ribs over the shirt. And—fuck. Lena feels a lot—overwhelmed. Feels her chest filled to the brim. So, she starts crying. Her body jerks with the first sob, it's uncontrollable, and then she kind of can’t stop, she curls in on herself and the side of her face gets squished against the pillow.

Kara’s arm around her grounds her, and she feels it tighten around her.

“Lena?” She sounds worried. Lena's quiet, doesn't say anything, just holds the sheets tighter. “What is it, what do you need? Would you like me me to leave?”

Lena feels Kara’s hand retreating back and she grabs it quickly, hand trembling. Her voice won't work properly, so she clears her throat, clears it twice. It's embarrassing, but Kara waits quietly, her thumb stroking her belly softly.

“Don’t leave,” she whimpers.

“What can I do?” Kara asks quietly, instead of what's wrong, why are you crying, and Lena is all sorts of taken aback, and she loves her so, so much, is filled with it.

“I—can you. Can you just hold me? Sorry—I think I just need to cry for a while.”

Kara's arms are around Lena then, and places a kiss on the back of her neck, and says, “Okay. I’ve got you.” Lena thinks, oh, and then her body shakes a little, she cries for an unidentifiable number of reasons. It’s Kara holding her closely, Kara whispering kind and lovely things in her soothing voice, Kara loving her in that unselfish, non-questioning way.

Lena doesn’t know how to encompass all that Kara does. The easy and casual way she cares for Lena. Helps her out of cycles without making her feel like there’s something wrong with her, that she has to be fixed.

Time passes. Because that’s what time does.

When Lena opens her eyes hours later, she finds that she's facing Kara. She watches her pretty face for a moment, the little crinkle present on her forehead, Kara's peaceful face, eyelashes long as they fan her cheekbones. Then Kara opens her eyes, slowly, and Lena just keeps... staring.

“Morning,” Kara whispers, and it surprises Lena. It actually is morning. They’re all over each other, Kara’s arm thrown over her waist, Lena's arm draped around Kara's

Lena flushes. Three times now they’ve cuddled in her bed, she realises. There’s some idiom about it—one time is a coincidence, two times is a pattern. Three times is… a habit, she thinks, a little horrified.

“Sorry,” Lena mumbles, “fell asleep on you.”

“No, no. 'S okay, I needed the sleep.”

Lena bites the inside of her cheek. 

“I—The soup’s cold now,” she says, and since she still feels all sorts of messy, and sick, and she frowns and tugs on Kara's shirt. She's embarrassed. “I’m sorry, the—soup’s cold now.” Her heart swells. “That was so sweet, Kara. That you made me soup. Made me really happy. Thank you.”

Kara cups Lena's cheek, then tucks a loose strand behind Lena's ear. Lena sigh softly.

“I’m your best friend. I’ll make you soup every time you’re sick,” she says. Lena bites her bottom lip.

Silence settles into the room.

“So—yesterday was embarrassing,” Lena says, voice scratchy, and pulls her face away. “Not very Luthor-like—I need to find a way to permanently silence you now. Can’t risk myself getting exposed. Hope you understand.”

“I’ve seen you cry plenty. Sure, Lena.” Kara nods slowly, lips quirking. “Also, who will make you soup, then? Consider that.”

“Good point,” Lena says, tucks her face into the crook of Kara's neck, “Good point, my darling.”

“A great point. Go get some more sleep, okay?” Kara whispers, and Lena is not going to open her eyes because she's sure that Kara has that lovely soft smile on her lips. “The soup's still okay. Let me go heat it up.”

Later, they eat it together on the couch watching Howl's Moving Castle when Lena's feeling like a human again. Kara wraps her arms around Lena and pulls her close, placing Lena against her front, nuzzling her nose to the side of Lena’s neck and breathing in.

Pouting against flushed skin—she’s sulking.

The soup. Kara believes it’s too salty but Lena thinks it tastes like love.

 


 

Lena already knows that it’s Kara who’s knocking at her balcony door before she looks up from her tablet. It’s always Kara (of course it's always Kara, who else likes to randomly crash at her place at any given time), what she doesn’t know is why Kara is carrying a ball of fluff in her arms.

Her Supergirl suit is already dematerializing, and, oh, Kara is wearing one of her looks that make it hard for Lena to look away from her. It’s not different from what she usually wears—she’s just rocking a casual fit. Plain white shirt, tucked into her tight black jeans, a black baseball cap on her head. It’s simple, but Kara looks really, really good, and Lena is really, really into it.

And just like always, Lena thinks she’s gorgeous.

“Kara, did you bring me a puppy to convince me to let you sleep here tonight? You do know I’d let you sleep here even if you didn’t bring anything, right?”

Kara snickers softly and adjusts her glasses. "You wish this cutie were for you, Lena, but no, she is not, and I'm not here to sleep in your bed tonight."

Lena lowers her tablet. “You’re not?”

“No, but I am here to ask you to come sleep in my apartment. I’d love to crash at yours again, but I'm watching her for my colleague and if she ends up, um, you know, peeing inside I'd rather it was in my apartment than yours.”

Lena blinks, pauses sharply. Why would I do that, she wants to ask. No, seriously, why the fuck? So Lena settles on this being some sort of sleepover night. Kara loves sleepovers.

Kara looks at her with an overly confident expression, not even trying to act as if she’s afraid Lena might say no. To be fair, Lena would never say no.

“Okay,” Lena says slowly, feeling herself burst into flames as she berates herself because she’s so fucking pathetic and weak, and is still confused, but it doesn’t matter because it’s Kara asking her— “just let me grab my stuff.”

 

Ten minutes later Lena finds herself on Kara's bed, weakly attempting to keep a small puppy from licking every inch of her face.

“So, how old is she?” Lena asks, chuckling as the dog makes another attempt on her lips.

“Who?” Kara's answer comes from the bathroom where she’s currently washing her face.

“The cutie.”

“Four months, I think. My friend only got her a few days ago but she has some business trip, and Alex is currently on stake-out.” Kara is now standing in the doorway, leaning on it as she watches the two on the bed fondly.

Lena feels her heart growing in size.

There’s an achingly soft smile on Kara’s face. Her cheeks round cutely when she smiles like this, and it makes Lena’s heart flutter, albeit wingless. Naturally, Lena smiles back.

“Maybe I should get a puppy as well, you know, to have something alive around to keep me company. Or cat.”

Lena heaves herself up on her elbows and puts on an offended expression. “I’m not alive enough for you?”

Kara laughs, pink-cheeked and pretty, and turns the bathroom lights off.

“Oh, you’re very much alive.” Kara pokes her on the cheek, before cooing at the puppy. “Okay, time to sleep. I have everything I need in bed.”

Now, what is that supposed to mean?

Lena raises an eyebrow. She chooses not to say anything and just settles into Kara’s arms, comfortable and content like this. Comfortable and content, she thinks, while her brain very enthusiastically points out how soft and solid Kara is and how Lena perfectly fits in her space.

A little later, Lena thinks Kara’s fallen asleep; her head close to Lena’s, fingers loosely tangled in Lena’s hair.

“Lena,” Kara whispers.

She blinks her eyes open, and is met with Kara’s big eyes looking back at her.

The room dissolves into nothingness as her eyes trace the curve of Kara’s nose, the jut of her cheekbones. Her free arm’s curled up and tucked under her head, bicep bulging in a way that’s uncalled for.

Kara just looks at Lena, blinking sleepily, other hand moving to brush Lena’s cheek. Lena thinks she wants to tell her something. She only has a vague idea what it might be; thinks it might have to do with home, and belonging, and safety; but Lena shifts a little, closes her eyes, buries her face in Kara’s neck, and only says,

“Yeah.”

 


 

Lena feels weird saying it’s become a regular thing. Regular suggests some sort of schedule, or planning. It’s just—a continuation, really. Of the way things have been for a while now. It’s not everyday that it happens, it’s—often.

She doesn't remember why she gave Kara full access to her penthouse but it doesn't really matter. It's like having a roommate with how much time Kara spends at her place and Lena has lost count of how many times she's woken up to find Kara on her couch, kitchen, or right next to her. It's nice. Kara cleans up after herself and sometimes even cooks for Lena so, yeah, it’s really nice.

Every now and then Kara would come over to Lena’s to use her kitchen and try out a recipe she found on the internet, later nudging Lena to cook with her. She’d come over to watch movies or documentaries with her, eating snacks while they’re leaning against each other, snug and comfortable on the couch or bed. She’d come over to do her work in Lena’s living room or bedroom, or to simply just pop in to have a chat and nap because she can.

Lena won’t admit to it out loud, but she likes it when Kara ends up in her bed.

It’s late, you can stay here and sleep. You’re sleepy and tired, you can fly back to yours tomorrow. I always have food or snacks in the kitchen if you ever get hungry at night. Yes, of course you can stay. Yeah, Lena’s fucking horrified at herself.

When Kara gets into bed and Lena rolls over, Kara always knows. She’ll take Lena’s hand and hold it over her abdomen, and she’ll let Lena rest her head against her shoulder. Often, when she sleeps deeply and doesn’t move, Lena wakes up and she’s being spooned (“You love being the little spoon, don’t you? What’s that thing Nia says? You’re Baby.”), with Kara’s arm thrown over her waist, forehead tipped against the back of Lena’s neck.

It’s familiar, and the kind of thing that could be overwhelming, but it’s not. Kara is one of Lena’s closest friends, and how Lena feels doesn’t change that. She’s happy; no matter what, she’s happy.

Kara is a constant in Lena's life. And even though Lena still tries (weakly) to fight a bit for her independence, wanting to make sure she doesn’t get trapped too much in her feelings, she’s accepting that they are here to stay.

 


 

The sound of water bursting down on the sink wakes Lena up. She peeks one eye open, pushes herself up from the sofa to see what’s happening.

“Sorry,” Kara says, “accidentally turned the tap water on too fast.”

“It’s okay,” Lena murmurs softly, stretching her body fully. Looking to her right, she sees that her laptop’s been closed. Beside it are stacks of papers and an empty tea cup. Looking at the clock, it’s eight pm. She slept for two hours.

When Kara walks past her, Lena catches a whiff of her perfume.

Kara smells really, really nice.

“Since... when did you get here?” Lena rubs her eyes tiredly, trying to shake the sleep off.

“Just an hour ago! Left my wallet in your drawer earlier, so I thought if I were to head to yours to collect it, I might as well change here, too. Nia’s special thing is today.”

It’s the first time Kara has found her way into Lena’s penthouse without Lena there to see her get inside. Maybe it’s a product of familiarity, of years that have allowed them such close comfort: Kara knows she’s allowed here. Knows she can rest here, take a nap, sleep—do anything she wants.

“Work? Have you finished?” Kara asks, with her back turned from Lena. She’s checking herself out in the mirror, fixing her hair while she hums to a tune. Lena tries to catch a view of the humming woman, but she really can’t see much with Kara's back turned. She doesn’t need to, she thinks, because she already knows that Kara probably looks fucking good.

“No...” Lena plunges her face onto the cushion. And here, she is stuck at home, sleepy and hungry, thinking about her workload. Unable to help herself, she lets out a groan and spews words out against the pillow.

“Let me guess, you just said: If I have to see another email from a fake-concerned man mansplaining to me about the project I’m leading I'm actually going to die.”

Lena knows that Kara is standing right next to her now because she can smell her perfume again—not to mention her laugh sounding closer.

She lifts her head back up, ready to pout at Kara, but—

Kara is wearing a dark navy suit with a white button down and a blue tie. It's a simple look but the suit falls perfectly over her frame, as if tailored specifically with her in mind. It emphasizes her broad shoulders, slim waist and it puts to a great advantage her long legs. The stark white of the shirt contrasts perfectly with her golden skin.

This is illegal. Lena considers calling the security.

“Hello, hello—earth to Lena Kieran Luthor!” Kara tilts her head to a side, an attractive smirk on her face, “I know I’m handsome. Yes, you may keep looking at me.”

Lena frowns.

Yeah. Kara Danvers is beautiful. So, so beautiful. Everything about her is beautiful; from her smile to her heart, from the way she talks to the way she laughs, and Lena will be in love with her from morning until night, day after day after day.

And this—Kara being here, making a home out of Lena’s penthouse without even needing Lena to know first—is such a stark contrast that it almost gives Lena a whiplash.

Lena forces her voice to work. “Did Alex help you with your clothes tonight or something?

Kara gasps. “Wow, ouch. Yeah, yeah—she did. We're going to celebrate Nia's promotion and our colleague’s birthday at some fancy place, so I needed some help in the dressing department. You know I'm bad at that stuff.” Her cheeks are flushed with a light, pretty pink, and Lena's just—she's gone.

She’s used to seeing Kara like this, is used to seeing her best friend in all kinds of attire. Be it in homey wear, formal wear, casual wear—no matter how much she thinks she’s used to seeing Kara, Kara always takes her breath away.

And Lena's really jealous because Kara gets to go out, celebrate, and have fun without her. Gets to go out and be all hot and attractive alone. While she’s stuck at home alone buried with work.

Looking away, she sees that her bedroom is open. It’s time she asks.

“Kara, I have to ask. Since you’ve been spending a lot of time here lately... my bedside table—have you, by any chance, opened the second drawer. Ever?”

That’s when Kara freezes.

“Um.” Kara fixes her glasses, licks her lips. “I might have. At one point.”

Lena blinks. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Kara breathes out a laugh, and Lena blushes, because—because— “Yeah, um. I think I could've lived my whole life without knowing that you own,” a light cough, “certain toys.”

Lena opens and closes her mouth, no words coming out, and Kara chuckles quietly.

She’s not embarrassed. Really. And it’s not like she was trying to hide anything—this is her home, why should she hide anything—it’s just, with her best friend standing right in front of her, confident and sexy in her fit, now Lena can’t stop thinking about Kara with her ridiculously toned muscles and thick thighs, elasticated straps around her hips and ass, how she’d look wearing—

Quietly, Kara bends down to fix Lena's slightly messy bed hair, grinning gorgeously. Lena snaps out of her self-induced daze—how highly inappropriate. Jesus fucking christ.

A change of topic sounds good. “You look good, Kara,” Lena voices out, almost sounding strained. “Really, really good.”

Thankfully, Kara goes along with it, head nodding slow. “What is it the young ones say these days? Think I'm gonna get some later?” she jokes, and it makes Lena laugh, her eyes fond.

Kara takes a step back, folding the cuffs of her sleeves.

Lena smiles gently at her. “Right. I’m sure you will.”

 


 

Lena thinks there are a number of possible reasons why Kara chooses to come to her.

Possible reason: Kara likes sleeping with people, literally sleeping with them. And Lena does say people instead of Lena even though she’s only ever witnessed Kara sleep with her, because assuming she’s somehow special feels like wishful thinking. (Lena prefers sleeping alone, except for when it’s Kara. Sometimes it’s hard to fall asleep when she’s so close. Sometimes it comes easier than falling asleep alone.)

Kara enjoys cuddles and likes to sleep next to someone. Maybe she also finds Lena's bed more comfortable.

Another possible reason: Lena's kitchen. It’s a goldmine, a paradise, a wonderland—the best kitchen in the world, five out of five stars, thoroughly reviewed and approved by Kara Danvers herself. It has Kara's favourite food and snacks (and Lena always, always makes sure it's filled).

Logically, she’s Kara's best option.

Another possible reason: she likes making Lena's life hard.

 


 

It’s game night and Kara and Lena are the last people to meet with everyone—only because Kara requested to buy some potstickers and cookies together after work. Maybe it was on purpose, but Lena isn’t complaining, not when Kara was so excited about getting food that she threw herself at Lena in a tight hug and then looped their arms together the whole ride to Alex’s apartment. Not when, in the living room, Kara grinned at her bright and warm and full of galaxies—and then quickly leaned over to press a kiss to Lena’s cheek before dashing into the bathroom.

Lena has to breathe, just for a minute. When she finally feels brave enough to join her friends, the conversations and games without betraying her own feelings (cheeks flushed, silly, flustered smile on her face), she appears to have caught Alex and Sam in the middle of something—both of them quickly looking away from her as if they’d been watching her this whole time.

Tilting her head, Lena eyes at them.

“Were you two just… staring at me?” she asks quietly, while the others are too busy eating popcorn and destroying each other in pictionary.

“Obviously not,” Alex says immediately. “That’s creepy. Why would we ever do that?”

“Your voice gets really high when you’re lying,” Lena points out, and Alex lets out an awkward laugh that is almost two octaves higher than her normal speaking voice. Sam snorts at her. Despite having caught them, Lena feels herself grow nervous, but she plays it off and sips her wine.

Clearing her throat, she takes off her coat. “Wine’s running out, do we have another bottle here?”

“Why didn’t you get some after the cookie place?” Sam asks, going right for the jugular, and Lena freezes before her eyes turn to Sam, who just smirks. “Or were you too busy spending all of your money on Kara?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lena says, swirling her wine around in the glass and deciding that its few contents are suddenly very interesting. “Sam, she just wanted like, five bags of cookies. And I was being nice by going with her.”

“Nice, she says,” Alex repeats. “Like she didn’t buy Kara new neckties earlier today.”

“It was one.”

“I have photographic evidence, Lena Luthor.”

“You weren’t even there.”

“Do you think Nia and Kelly would let that stuff fly without blowing up the group chat?” Sam says, and Lena turns to her with a baffled expression. Everything around them quiets, and Nia and Kelly snort from across the room.

“You guys have a group chat? Without me?”

“Relax, my sister’s not in it either,” Alex says. “For obvious reasons, since the whole point is to gossip about you two.”

Lena’s jaw drops, gaping at the two of them. They look so pleased with themselves, just dropping this kind of information like it's easy easy. Not to mention the rest of the group has apparently decided Kara and Lena are a thing that needs to be gossiped about at all, as if they’re not just friends.

Alex snickers. “We’re just saying something needs to be done already. Look at you, Luthor, you thought you were being subtle?”

“Oh, Alex.” Sam sighs. “The cookies, potstickers, and ties? Can that even be compared to buying a $750 million company for your best friend?”

Lena finally closes her mouth only to frown at the both of them. “That’s—years ago,” she blurts out. “That time—you guys know that wasn’t the main reason why I bought CatCo. Morgan Edge, he—”

“Wow.” Alex whistles. “The sexual tension between Lena and talking about her feelings.”

“Listen,” Lena starts, and pauses. She licks her lips, stares at Alex intensely. “Kara, she...”

“It's okay. Take your time,” Alex says calmly, “I know forming full sentences can be hard.”

“You're like a lagging game character,” Sam says, “are you okay?”

Lena feels her ears heating up. She tries to regain composer and looks away, drinking the rest of her wine. She’s baffled knowing that everyone is apparently aware of whatever that’s been happening with her and Kara, for years. And Kara’s been spending more time with her lately—Lena gets that. Sam knows what she’s like when she’s interested in someone, but if Alex, Kelly, and Nia have picked up on it, perhaps she hasn't been subtle at all.

A little later, Kara comes back to join them, smelling suspiciously like tuna.

“Kara,” Alex says, eyebrows raised up. “Why do you smell like… tuna?”

Kara blinks. Plants herself right next to Lena on the couch, face blank. “Tuna, what tuna? Why would I smell like tuna?” A pause and a huff. “Have you stopped to consider that maybe you’re the one that smells like tuna? Consider that.”

“No, I’m certain I don’t smell like tuna. I do have canned tuna in the kitchen.” Alex eyes at her suspiciously. “You took some from the cupboard, didn’t you? And went outside to feed the literal stray cats you’ve been harbouring in my garage.”

Lena snorts, despite herself.

“Alex, what cats?” Kara gasps. “I don’t know anything about cats. I have never seen a cat in real life. I do know a cat fact—they consider anything as a place to sit, or a bed. If it fits it sits, and all. Also I’ve only seen cats from pictures—those old paintings where they have little human faces.”

“Okay,” Alex says tiredly.

“Hey, I saw you holding a kitten in the bushes outside,” Nia pipes in, “Brainy and I saw you through the window.”

“Nia!” Kara gasps, pouting.

“Oh my god,” Alex groans, before nudging everyone to get back on track.

Lena lifts her legs up to cross them on the couch, and Kara presses her shoulder against Lena’s.

“It’s sweet. You’re lovely,” Lena whispers to Kara. “You know, you’re always there when I ask or need help. And not just me.” She licks her lips. “It’s the same reason you keep rescuing stray animals. You always try to take care of things. You have an innate need to protect.”

“Oh, well. Yeah, I guess.” Kara parts her lips, her cheeks pink. Lena’s about to continue until she catches Alex and Sam whispering to each other yet again, dragging Kelly into it. She shakes her head, rubs Kara’s shoulder and gets back into the games.

Lena spends the rest of the night glaring at Alex and Sam, as well as her other friends who are in the group chat, while being cuddled by one Kara Danvers on the couch.

 


 

It’s a week later when Lena gets dragged outside to walk with Kara.

They’re making their way back slowly after wandering for hours. Kara took her to all the beautiful spots she could think of. A very needed break from work, a breath of fresh air, and pretty scenery. Kara’s idea.

Lena appreciates this. She appreciates Kara.

They share cotton candy and drink coffee as they walk back through the park all lit up with colourful lights. They’re walking back all the way, because Kara wants to show her National City’s riverside.

“Lena, gimme your hand,” Kara says suddenly, pausing next to a lamp post and holding her hand out like she’s going in for a handshake.

Lena raises her eyebrows and puts her hand in Kara’s.

Kara jerks Lena’s arm around up and down, passes her hand back and forth between her own and wraps their fingers into odd shapes.

“Left, right, up, down, bam, bang, pow!” she says to punctuate each sharp movement, finishing it off with an oddly limp fist bump.

“What are you doing.”

“Secret handshake,” Kara answers, like it’s obvious, and adjusts the black baseball cap on her head. “We need one.”

Lena smiles. “How am I supposed to remember all that?”

“I already forgot it, let’s make a new one,” Kara says as she grabs Lena’s hand in both of hers again.

“Kara.” Lena laughs breathlessly, trying to keep up.

One of the best things about Kara is that it’s so easy to laugh with her. There are times when they’re laughing, Lena doesn’t even know what they’re laughing about, she just knows that her heart is light and her smile is wide and all she has to do is tilt her head back and lose herself in a happiness so vast that it’ll never run out, and so real that she’ll never have to look for anything more than what she already has.

Eventually and inevitably, after five minutes of making up movements and memorizing, Lena gets it right with Kara. And if anyone saw them—two grown women bumping fists and shaking hands intensely in the middle of the park, well. Lena doesn’t really care, because wow:

“A secret handshake between a Super and a Luthor. We’re so cool.” Kara grins wide and lovely, and Lena really, really wants to kiss this person so bad she keeps herself still so she doesn’t do anything, like grabbing Kara’s collar to kiss her. “The ultimate secret handshake, constructed meticulously by us. You did really well.”

And it’s ridiculously silly, but Lena beams.

Later they take a rest, sitting side by side on the grassland, the gentle river right in front of them. It’s pretty, the way the water reflects the blue and red and green lights of the buildings.

“Hey, Lena?”

“Yes?” Lena says, the corners of her mouth tugging up the slightest.

“Hello.” Kara smiles, with her eyes, first, then her mouth. She’s beautiful. Lena always thinks this, and sometimes she thinks it loudly. It makes Kara flush. 

Lena bites lip. “What’re you thinking about?”

“Alex. Kelly. J'onn. You... Everone.”

“And your thoughts...?”

“These aren't new thoughts—I just like thinking about it. It's... family.” Kara's hand comes up, tucking messy stray locks of hair behind Lena’s ear. Lena stops breathing, for a bit. Kara's thumb moves, softly brushing her skin behind Lena’s ear, and down her hair to the side of her neck. It’s such an achingly intimate gesture. Lena feels just a little bit off-kilter, not fully grounded. Slowly, her fingers reach out and find Kara’s thigh, fingers finding the hem of her shirt. “I'm just happy. Surrounding yourself with the people you love and who love you? That's family.”

Lena smiles.

“Those are lovely thoughts.”

“Thank you. Watch out, I have them sometimes.”

“This is incredible, this calls for a celebration. How would you like to celebrate?”

“Potstickers,” Kara answers fast.

A wide grin spreads on Lena’s face, and she laughs, unfiltered, can't help herself. Opens her eyes, and—for a moment, there is something about about the way Kara is looking at her.

It's inexplicable. Lena thinks she’s seen before—no, knows she has, because of the way it makes her heart beat and beat and beat. It’s not the first time she’s seen it. Then Kara blinks, and it’s gone, just like that, and not for the first time Lena is left off wondering, curious, hopeful.

“Okay, um. Potstickers later and maybe with a photo,” Kara says, blinks pretty eyes behind glasses, “take a picture with me, Lena?”

Lena throws an exaggerated smile and peace sign in the first one. Lena, Kara whines, be serious. In the second one, Kara bunts her head with Lena's, has her arm around Lena's shoulders. Lena tries hard not to think about the couples near them taking pictures on this platform.

 


 

Lena is going to tell Kara. She is, she is, she is.

 


 

Come over? Lena texts her, three days later.

And it takes Kara ten minutes to arrive, immediately suggesting that they watch Spirited Away together (“I’ve been wanting to watch this with you! Your timing is perfect, Lena.”) and after that and plates full of take-out food and snacks, they’re in the bathroom.

They stand together brushing their teeth, Lena’s deadpan expression flickering over their reflection in the mirror. She’s reminded of how sickeningly domestic this whole affair is when she catches Kara’s gaze in the mirror, and Kara offers her a sheepish smile before spitting her toothpaste in the sink. It shouldn’t be charming, Lena thinks. It is anyway.

Lena is the first to leave, crawling in bed when she’s finished her nightly routine. She pulls the covers aside and lays on her back, staring at the ceiling.

When Kara crawls in a minute later, Lena tenses and then stops breathing altogether.

Kara curls up on her side, facing Lena’s body, and snuggles her head against the inside edge of her own pillow, almost touching Lena’s too.

Lena really needs to breathe, but any air she lets slip is coming out loud and shaky.

And then, piercing clean through the mess of Lena’s panicked mind, Kara calls her name. She says it so softly, but it’s the only noise in the still room and it makes Lena shiver. The bed feels so hot. The sheets feel scorching and constricting, even if they’re only covering her from the waist down.

“What?” Lena turns to face her.

Kara is laying there, way closer than Lena thought, face only inches apart from her.

“Can’t sleep. I still have a lot of energy left in me.”

And—Lena is not going to interpret that as a euphemism. “Maybe we should’ve watched one of my documentaries instead. They always put you to sleep.”

Kara breathes a quiet laugh. “They really do.”

It’s quiet as Kara studies her face. She stares at Lena with eyes sparkling wide and Lena stares back. She watches Kara blink slowly, she watches her nose wrinkle a little and her teeth nibble at the side of her lip. She watches her tongue dart out and lick over the indents she made. She watches, and Kara’s expression softens.

And to think all of this has become normal: Kara being here, Kara staying here. It used to terrify Lena, having Kara in her penthouse (or her room, especially her room)—like a wild thing, like she had to work to get any of this right. She wanted Kara there, but wanted Kara to come back again, wanted Kara to feel like this could be her home if she so desired it. Now, somehow, her penthouse never feels right until Kara lands on that balcony.

And despite the difference of this, it makes sense, too. Kara should just be here. Should just exist in Lena’s space, because maybe it’s not Lena’s room anymore. Maybe it’s theirs.

Lena lets out a quiet, shaky breath. “You know, I like when you’re here. With me.”

“I like when I'm here with you, too,” Kara says quietly. Lena’s heart leaps at that, stomach jittery and giddy with want and so much more. “I like your cuddles.”

Kara moves closer and pushes her forehead against the side of Lena’s neck. Lena takes it for what it is: an asking for a hand in her hair, fingers over the shell of her ear, squeezing the back of her neck.

“My cuddles, huh,” Lena says weakly.

“Mm, I always want cuddles,” Kara says. “Yours, specifically—it should just be a given. Also, your bed is better than mine.”

“Kara, your bed is just as comfortable as mine.”

“But mine doesn’t have you in it.”

It’s blunt, the way she says it, and it makes Lena flush. Lena knows it's hard to put it into words sometimes, but they're no strangers to honesty; truth. It's more simple this way: little longing gazes, lingering touches, smiles, hands, mouth.

She feels the slow exhale Kara lets out, warm breath against the skin of her neck and collarbones. Lena slowly drags her hand up Kara’s neck, curling into her hair, scratching there.

Lena thinks, quietly and dangerously, that she likes this better: when Kara is simply here, in her space. Thinks she could get used to this the way she’s gotten used to Kara’s hand curling around hers when they’re alone, her arm around Lena's waist, her lips against Lena’s neck in the small, quiet moments when Kara’s sleepy and extra cuddly.

It’s always growing, becoming something more.

“Wanna be close to you,” Kara admits softly, and Lena swallows around a lump in her throat, mouth trembling when Kara’s arm instantly drops to her waist to hold her tighter. She shakes her head again, lips brushing against Lena’s throat. “Like being close to you. Closer.”

Just like that, Lena understands.

“Yeah?” Lena asks quietly, pulling back to look at Kara, thumb stroking the nape of her neck, shy and tender and intimate. It’s always been harder for her to seek comfort, despite knowing how readily Kara will give it to her. “Yes, I’d love—I want that, too.”

“Want you close,” Kara says, voice quiet and gaze steady. “As close as you’ll have me, and then closer.”

Lena smiles, inhales, exhales shakily, and holds her heart in her palm. She cups Kara’s face with one hand, cradles it gently, thumb caressing along her cheekbone. The world has often been too bright and terrible, desperate and beautiful; Kara Danvers alone shines at the centre of everything she sees.

Kara looks like she wants to say something; but she doesn’t. Lena breathes unevenly, slowly. Kara leans in, closer, until her lips touch just under Lena’s eye. Lena doesn't move, and just stays there, feeling the way her heart beats wildly against her chest. Kara presses another soft kiss lower to her cheekbone, and then murmurs:

“Sorry. Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Lena whispers, “it‘s nice.”

It’s quiet for a bit as Kara searches Lena’s face. Lena's lips part open, wants to say something, and then: Kara leans in again, kisses her brow, her cheek, down the side of her face, just under her jaw, her forehead. Kara’s always been touchy, is physically affectionate with her. But she’s never drowned Lena in kisses like this.

“Do you know how pretty you are?” Kara whispers, and Lena flushes. She touches her nose to Lena’s. It makes Lena smile, suddenly too fond and—and fuck, it also makes Lena’s heart hammer a messy beat. “You’re pretty all over.” Kara’s fingers trace the features on Lena’s face; her forehead, softly, “here,” her eyebrows, her nose, her lips, down her neck, fingers on her collarbone. “Here.”

That’s when Lena knows, once again. Seeing the tenderness in Kara’s eyes spreading across her face, the knowledge just gets deeper, and—something snaps inside Lena.

Words roll out of her tongue, awaken, brassy and barefaced: “Kara, I love you.”

Kara blinks, gaze soft, eyes never leaving her. There’s—relief in the way she smiles, face getting closer, hand cupping Lena’s chin.

There’s no reply that comes in words from Kara, but movements, and actions, and kisses, and touches, careful touches. Lena tugs at Kara’s shirt, tries remembering to breathe, but her body can’t seem to process all those types of feelings at once. There’s sweetness in the way Kara touches her body, gentle traces; a loving kind of adoration in the way she seems to draw patterns on Lena’s skin.

“I’m in love with you,” Lena admits so quietly, “and I’m a little terrified.”

They fall into silence, Lena fidgeting nervously, toying with Kara’s collar as she waits for a reaction, a little too afraid to look at Kara’s face.

Her pulse is turbulent and her breath catches in her throat when Kara leans in again, kissing dangerously close to the corner of her mouth this time. She pulls away, and when they meet eyes—there’s a moment where Lena knows they are thinking of the same thing, now. That the only part of Lena’s face still untouched by Kara’s lips is her mouth.

Lena’s hands are fists in Kara’s shirt collar. Kara’s chest rises and falls, heavy. And Lena can’t help it; she looks at Kara like she’s telling her to finish what she started.

Kara answers by leaning back in, and it feels like a torturously long while until her lips finally, finally touch Lena’s. Lena’s eyes close.

It’s just a kiss. Lena’s heart is beating out of her chest. It’s just a simple, soft press of her lips, just like the kisses she dropped everywhere else on Lena’s face. Lena’s fists clench around the fabric of her shirt tighter. It's just a kiss. To finish what she started.

Except that when Kara pulls away this time, there’s a kind of intensity in her eyes and it doesn’t feel like anything’s finished. She searches Lena’s face for something, and Lena wants more, of course she does, she always wants more; she claws at Kara’s shoulders, a silent plea, and something shifts on Kara’s face.

Kara shifts from her spot and moves to hover on top of Lena, her eyes dark and adoring.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Kara says, her hand moving to Lena’s chest and rubbing the skin there as if to ease the rapid pace of Lena's heart.

And that’s—Lena supposes that’s true. There are a lot of things in Lena's life that are uncertain, or scary, or both. But Kara isn’t one of them. Kara has never been one of them, even when they were flirting or growing closer as friends.

“I want more,” Lena whispers, when Kara’s fingers trace on her collarbone. She basks in the attention, loving the weight of Kara’s gaze on her.

Kara cups Lena’s face in her hand and kisses her softly until she opens her mouth and sighs into it. The slide of their mouths is hot and wet and perfect as their lips part, as the kiss deepens, hotter, wetter.

It gets increasingly urgent, and Lena wants closer, her hands on Kara’s neck and in her hair—she can’t get close enough. Kara seems to pick up on her need and presses Lena into the mattress, pinning her underneath her weight, so solid and warm against her—god, it feels so good, and Lena’s head spins. She feels breathless and feverish as Kara kisses her so deep and filthy and sweet, small noises drowning in the space between their mouths.

Lena’s hands are grasping at her back, desperate to get her closer, to feel the hard muscles shifting under her palms, on top of her, against her, everywhere. Her head spins and she’s dizzy and she could swear she’s weightless at the moment. With her eyes closed, she allows herself to just feel. Her brain registers Kara’s hands on her waist, holding her still; and Kara’s mouth wet, soft and wanting, and.

It's instant how addicted Lena gets to the way Kara kisses her, and she's almost desperately chasing her when Kara pulls back for a moment. It's only a split second that Kara’s gone. With both of her hands on the sides of Kara’s face now, Kara looks at her for a moment. Just a moment, like she's proving to herself that this is real, before kissing her again.

And then Kara lets go too soon for Lena’s taste but before she can protest Kara leans further down and kisses and nips the place where her shoulder meets her neck. Lena’s head falls back in pleasure, her mouth parted in a shaky sigh. Kara’s hands slip up Lena’s shirt, and though gentle, the mere touch of her thumbs against the bare skin on Lena’s belly makes Lena shiver.

“Can I,” Kara whispers; she sounds wrecked, gone, beautiful, “is this okay?”

Lena breathes out a strained laugh, one that’s barely audible under the blanket of the night, because does Kara not at least have the slightest idea? She has no idea that Lena’s wanted this for the longest time. She doesn’t know about all the nights Lena has woken up to a dampness in her sleepwear and a little ache in her heart, Kara’s smile teasing beneath her eyelids.

“Please,” Lena begs, and Kara mouths hotly along her jaw, teeth and tongue against her pulse point. Kara’s tongue swipes along the column of her neck, hot and wet, and Lena feels dizzy, feels even dizzier when Kara’s hand slips underneath her shirt and cups her breast.

“You smell so nice,” Kara murmurs against her neck, licking and sucking at the skin there. Lena moans a quiet fuck when Kara tightly squeezes her breast before rolling her nipple between her fingers. “Always do—Rao, Lena.”

Fingers tangle in Kara’s hair, cradling her head gently as Kara comes up again to pry Lena’s apart with her tongue. They kiss slow and deep, and—and god—it’s not surprising that Kara Danvers kisses the way she does everything else: like it’s the only thing that matters right then. And as a person with firsthand experience of kissing Kara Danvers, Lena can only say that, well. It makes you feel special. It makes you feel like the world. It makes your toes curl and it makes you fall even more in love, then and there.

“Been wanting to have my hands on you for a long, long time,” Lena confesses quietly, cheeks red. She pushes her hands up Kara’s shirt, glides her palms over smooth, warm skin and hard muscles, unhurried, purposeless, just to feel her, to hold her. “God, you—feel so good. You have no idea how attractive you are, do you?”

When Kara pulls back, Lena stares up at her with quiet adoration, her eyelids fluttering and hands caressing Kara’s thighs. She looks absolutely stunning and beautiful—her face is flushed, lips swollen, pupils wide wide wide with lust, and tousled blonde hair.

She’d never seen anything more gorgeous in her life.

The sight is overwhelming as it is, and Lena feels breathless, head swimming with want. The veins of Kara’s neck pop along with the hard muscles bulging under her shirt.

“Maybe I do,” Kara tells her cheekily, voice soft. “Tell me what you want?”

Kara is watching her like she’s never quite seen her before, and on some level, Lena suddenly understands with absolute clarity that while she’s the one initiating things, she will give Lena anything she asks for.

Anything, anything.

“Keep touching me. Touch me more,” Lena whispers, licking her lips.

Kara complies and leans down, tugs at Lena’s bottom lip with her teeth. It draws a soft whimper from Lena and her hands wander everywhere underneath Lena’s shirt, spreading fire.

“Fuck,” Lena manages, and when Kara licks hot into her mouth she melts—making a sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan. She drags nails up her abdomen, feels Kara’s muscles constrict, and she wants more, wants to see—

“Take this off,” she whispers, and Kara wastes no time sitting back to pull the shirt over her head, giving Lena no time to prepare whatsoever. Lena stares, transfixed, at the way moonlight looks on her bare skin, eyes trailing down the muscle of her arm, her chest, her abdomen.

Suddenly she’s got a lapful of half-naked Kara, and Lena knew she was toned, but this is just—this is shocking.

“Oh,” she says, strained, and holds Kara’s hips, desperately trying to regain her bearings, “warn a girl, god, Kara—”

“Lena, wow, are you angry at my muscles?” Kara asks breathlessly, and Lena looks up at her, frowning.

“Yes,” she mutters, “they are just—it's devastating, and darling you can’t just do that, you’re on me like this, think of my, my heartbeat—?”

It's lovely—Kara's laugh, her eyes are closed, she looks so happy, and breathtaking, and her cheeks are pink, and—what the fuck, she’s so cute and lovely like this, Lena’s heart just swells. She breathes shakily, cups Kara’s face and crashes their mouths together again, kissing with fervour, with teeth and tongue, body rolling against her, hips grinding down, and Lena loves it, this insistence and intensity—it feels so good Lena’s toes curl, it feels—

Incredible, to know Kara wants her, wants to kiss her like this. Her heart thuds wildly in her chest and she finds that she can't think straight, can't think of anything that isn’t Kara, Kara’s mouth, her hands on Lena’s neck and chest, her body pinning Lena to the mattress.

“Look at you,” Kara groans, leaning in so that she can press their foreheads together, curling her thumb over Lena’s bottom lip, pressing and coaxing. Lena, unable to help herself opens her mouth, and starts sucking obediently. “Look at you,” Kara repeats, voice trembling along a whisper as she withdraws her thumb the slightest bit and uses the pad of it as leverage to coax Lena’s mouth open before replacing the digit with her own mouth.

“Kara,” Lena says shakily, trembling with arousal beneath Kara. She squeezes at Kara’s bicep, and sighs.

“Rao,” Kara breathes into the crook of Lena’s neck, her fingers easily unbuttoning Lena’s shirt all the way. “You’re—beautiful. The way you talk, the way you look right now. So beautiful.”

“Kara,” Lena can only say again, and flushes.

Kara sighs, and mouths at her exposed collarbone wetly. “Lena, can I take care of you?”

“Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, want you to take care of me,” Lena breathes, so, so aroused. “You always…”

Kara travels down and takes a nipple into her mouth, and Lena arches into the pressure and suction, shivers at the hot and wet sensation. Fists Kara’s hair and watches Kara’s wet, open mouth move over the swell of her breast, the glide of Kara’s tongue as it strokes the hardened peak and swirls around it before engulfing the nipple once more in her mouth.

“Anything you want, baby.”

Lena closes her eyes and sighs. “You can’t just call me that,” she murmurs weakly, and every pull of Kara’s lips, every suck and lick and soft little bite makes Lena’s chest heave.

“Oh, is that something you’re into?” Kara says softly, as her hand travels down to her inner thigh and stroking the skin there, slow and teasing. “Want me to call you babe and tie you to the headboard? I’ll keep that all in mind, if you want.”

And just like that, Lena falls apart easily—the words have her squirming in the sheets, thighs rubbing together. Kara won't leave her nipples alone, licking and sucking until they're hard and biting, Kara groaning when Lena shivers and arches into her. And she doesn't stop, Lena is twisting and needy, but Kara holds her hips in place and still doesn't stop.

“Kara, please, please—” Lena rambles, near delirious with how much she’s aching for it. She’s beyond caring how needy she sounds. Kara works her pants open quickly, and her own, too, all clothes on the floor now, and knocks their damp foreheads together to peer down at her hand.

“Look how wet you are,” Kara breathes. “Because of me?”

“Yes,” Lena replies, voice shaky. If she weren’t dizzy with lust and need she’d laugh. Kara knows it’s because of her.

Kara has that look in her eyes, all dark and lusty and intense. Her lips are parted and wet looking. Lena’s gut does that swooping thing and she suddenly feels even hotter, feels like her skin is burning everywhere, like someone switched on the furnace and lit the fireplace up all at once.

Finally, Kara swipes her fingers over Lena’s clit, circles, presses, and rubs, and a breathless haah falls out of Lena’s mouth. Kara nudges at her face with her own, seeking her lips until she finds them. It’s less like kissing, more like them slotting their mouths together and panting, Kara’s teeth grazing her bottom lip; experimentally, she bites a little bit harder, catching onto the fact that Lena likes it from the filthy, unadulterated moan pouring from her throat and her hips rolling up into Kara’s fingers.

Lena squirms, so overcome she can barely articulate a response. When she does speak, her voice echoes cracked and raw in her own ears—and that’s when Kara thrusts one finger into her. “Yes, more—

“Love you like this,” Kara mumbles. “No one would ever believe you get like this.”

Lena’s face is conflicted, embarrassed and loving it, shy and too needy to be shy, her little sounds feeding into Kara’s mouth.

When Kara adds another finger inside her, thrusting deep and steady, while her thumb rubs Lena’s clit, Lena starts breathing harder, gasping for air, her moans getting caught in her throat and getting all strangled sounding, and, and god, it— “Feels good, feels—fuck, Kara.”

Kara groans her name quietly against her neck, sucking and nipping there, and she’s saying more things, saying, you’re so good, so lovely, so warm and tight, Lena, wanna make you feel good.

Lena swallows roughly and her body twists in a way she can’t entirely control.

“‘m close,” she says, obscene and breathy. “Wanna come. Please, Kara.”

“It's okay, love,” Kara nuzzles the crook of Lena's neck, kissing ever so softly the little sensitive area below Lena's jaw. “My baby girl, wanna come?”

Lena nods desperately, words missing her when Kara speeds up. She's about to black out, the distress in her belly becoming a fire she can't seem to put out. She's so, so close.

It takes only two thrusts, combined with the pressure of Kara’s palm on her clit, and then Lena comes. Her entire body stills for a moment, her mouth falls open in a silent moan and when part of her senses return she can still feel Kara’s palm moving and thrusting fingers working inside her, helping her ride out her orgasm.

“You’re so good. So good.” Kara bites and sucks along the curve of Lena’s shoulders up to her neck, stealing a few kisses that Lena has no business in resisting.

Kara pulls her fingers out slowly. A minute passes quietly with Lena catching her breath and her body softening.

“God...” Lena breathes.

“You called?” Kara jokes, before laughing squeakily at her own gag. Lena shakes her head, covers her eyes with her arm and sucks in her cheeks to hide her own smile. A little later, Kara whispers, low and deep, “Not done with you yet, you know.”

“What?” Lena asks distractedly, ready to flip their positions and return the favour. When she moves to do so, she’s stopped by a gentle hand on her shoulder, keeping her there.

“Can I fuck you with the strap-on?” Kara says, and Lena’s train of thought drives away so fast, forgets what she was doing for a second. She opens her mouth like she’s going to reply, but there’s nothing, and the only thing her mind can properly comprehend is how hot that’d be. “Lena?”

“You’ve… been thinking about it,” Lena observes. She bites her bottom lip, and asks, curiously, “Have you worn one before?”

“Mm.” Kara hums and nips at her neck, hand on Lena’s breast again, squeezing and unsqueezing. And—wow, what Lena’s so full of questions now— “I've been thinking about it—a lot. You have no idea. Ever since I opened that drawer.”

Lena swallows thickly.

“Can’t stop thinking about how pretty you’d look getting fucked with a strap-on,” Kara murmurs, and Lena’s breath hitches. The words sends a pang of shock and thrill coursing from Lena’s stomach. “Just wanna make you feel good.”

“Okay,” Lena croaks.

“Yeah?”

Lena nods. Kara pulls back and tucks a strand of hair behind Lena’s ear, kisses the underside of her jaw. And then: there’s a blur of movement and the sound of a drawer being opened, and—Kara's there, kneeling on the bed in front of Lena.

Pale blue toy, smooth, slightly curved length and made of silicone. Lena has several toys and admittedly, she hasn’t used this one before.

She lets out the breath she was holding when the sound of a bottle opening catches her attention.

“Just using a little. Why not, right?” Kara offers, rubbing and warming up the lube. “Oh. Of course—this is vegan-friendly. Nice.”

She smiles at Lena as she slicks the dildo with lube. It’s a sweet mischievous smile that suits Kara well and the one Lena hasn’t seen before. It’s a promise of all things that will come. Lena watches, in a slight daze, Kara working her fist slowly up and down to ensure proper coverage. And god, it’s—fuck, Lena’s really quickly losing all ability to think straight. It's really happening, and like Kara, this also isn't the first time she's thought about this.

Kara’s naked and devastatingly sexy, and she knows exactly what she’s doing by taking her sweet time like this and—it makes heat coil tightly in Lena’s lower belly. Lena thinks she could come just from the sight, just from the anticipation of what’s to come.

“How do you want to do this?”

Jolted out of her trance, a hard flush sweeps across Lena's skin. “Can I ride you?” Lena blurts out.

Kara leans in and gives her a sloppy kiss on the corner of her mouth before moving to sit right next to her. She casually pats her lap, looking sinfully good like this, her hair tousled and lips candy apple red and bitten. Lena settles onto Kara’s lap, hands on her shoulders, and shivers when Kara’s hand touches the small of her back.

Lena takes a deep breath. She keeps her eyes on Kara as she sinks down slowly on the strap-on, small increments at a time, barely giving herself a minute to adjust to the burning stretch, eager to take more. She’s so fucking full. It’s gorgeous. It's never been quite like this before. Maybe it’s because despite the dim lights, she can see everything. Maybe because it’s Kara and Kara’s steady hands on her hips are anchoring her down.

She pushes down, wants to take more. It’s a slow push, a slick vulgar sound in the silence. Lena groans and clenches around the strap, clit throbbing. Kara’s fingers tighten on her hips and—good, Lena thinks. She wants bruises—red and purple and blue.

“Lena,” Kara says, voice hoarse. She cups Lena’s jaw, touch tender. “You okay?”

Lena makes a noise, something caught in the back of her throat. Her nails rake up Kara’s backside, and once she’s fully seated in Kara’s lap, she rests her face into the nook of her neck. It’s—god she feels so fucking full.

“Good?” Kara asks.

It takes a solid five seconds for Lena to respond, and when she does, it’s with a breathy, “Fuck.”

Kara’s eyes soften as she traces her fingers along Lena’s jaw to her neck. She lifts Lena’s face for a chaste kiss, giving her time to adjust. It's gentle and sweet, tastes like promises that were kept, and Lena melts into it even though the timing is off and she wants more than kissing, much more.

Lena pushes down onto the strap-on. Her thighs tremble already, and she knows Kara can feel it in her fingertips. Can tell by the way Kara’s grip tightens, but Lena doesn't care, not when Kara is still kissing her sloppily, open-mouthed. Let there be bruises, ghosts of Kara’s fingers on her skin.

She closes her eyes and slowly starts to rock back and forth, grinding down in circles, giving herself a chance to build up her rhythm.

Eventually, Kara murmurs, “I’m gonna move now. S’that okay, baby?”

Lena sighs. “You can do anything if you keep calling me that.”

Kara presses a kiss to her cheek and then does move; she keeps her thrusts slow but deep as Lena pulses around her. It—feels so good and Lena never wants it to end, this stretch and warmth, this feeling of being full.

Kara fucks up into her, matching Lena’s rhythm, her hands sliding down Lena’s sides, down her hip bones.

“Oh, god,” Lena whimpers, eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks, a light sheen of sweat on her skin, and circles her hips on the strap.

“You're—perfect, Lena. That’s my girl,” Kara mumbles, stroking up and down Lena’s spine and holding her close. Lena moans breathily, closing her eyes, and shivers. My girl. “You’re so beautiful like this, Rao,” she hears Kara say, and Kara sounds dark and ruined and like she’s witnessing something wondrous, and Lena—she makes a pleased little noise, the strap-on thick and the angle perfect with every thrust.

Lena is used to Kara’s particular brand of blunt honesty—she never says anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly mean, and she possesses absolutely no filter when it comes to what she does mean. If Kara thinks it, she’ll say it, and it’s left Lena flustered and flushing more times than she would care to admit.

“Feels so good inside me, Kara,” Lena breathes. She sets that pace, a slow grind that has Kara deep within her at all times, feeling all blissed out. Small breathy noises keep falling from her lips, and Kara moans into her sweat-salty neck. Lena knows that Kara can feel her every move, the pressure bumping against Kara’s clit.

Kara pulls her in by the back of her neck, kisses her hard; one hand settling on her ass, squeezing. She grips hard, sending a spark up Lena’s spine and thrusts up into Lena. Lena moans brokenly.

“You’re so, so good, Lena. Such a good girl,” Kara murmurs, and licks into the hot, wet space of Lena’s mouth, swiping her tongue along the ridged roof, swallowing the whimper Lena lets out. “Taking it so well. Rao, do you know how pretty you sound—?”

Lena melts at the praise and shudders, arousal burning low in her gut. She craves those praises, just as much as she craves Kara’s love and affection. Her head falls against Kara’s shoulder with a soft whimper. She’s breathing and moaning and she’s trying to form words, but she can’t. All she can manage is an occasional “Kara,” but it’s breathy and half formed.

She tucks her face close against the skin of Kara’s neck, her lips parting as she falls into a kiss right at Kara’s neck.

“Okay?” Kara asks, and there’s a smile there, grin curling at the edges of her words, like she knows exactly what the fuck she’s doing.

“‘kay,” Lena says, half a groan. “Okay, I’m. I. Fuck—”

“I got you,” Kara murmurs, and that shouldn’t be as fucking good as it is, but something about the rumble in Kara’s voice, the steadiness, how she’s not stopping, doesn’t stop, I got you, only keeps holding Lena and fucking her all in tandem.

I got you, over and over until Lena sinks her teeth into the juncture of Kara’s neck and shoulder, causing Kara to drive harshly into Lena.

The room is filled with strangled gasps and half-moans and the wet slick sounds that make it all real. Lena is getting close, her hips losing their finesse, sagging against Kara’s chest, barely holding herself up on her forearm, a high-pitched ‘ah, ah, ah’ leaving her throat on every thrust.

“Lena,” Kara groans, stalls her hips, “lie on your back for me?”

Once she has Lena laid out across the bed, she crawls on top of her, caresses the backs of her thighs. Lena watches her with clouded dark eyes, and Kara bends down, kisses her mouth, all kinds of unadulterated want and need in it, kisses her jaw, kisses the column of her neck, and whispers, “Gonna take care of you.”

Lena shivers all over, scrapes her fingernails across Kara’s shoulders. Lena’s legs fall open, needy and desperate, and Kara pushes in again, goes with deep thrusts, one hand roaming up her breasts. Thumbs at Lena’s nipples, drags a shaky moan out of her, her body curving under Kara’s hands, sensitive sensitive.

“Oh, god. Kara, Kara—” she mumbles like a prayer, and the press of Kara’s fingers rubbing tight circles over her clit has Lena grasping for Kara, and Kara immediately sinks down, fits her mouth over Lena’s without much finesse or coordination, in a kiss that’s just them panting into each other’s mouths, Kara’s teeth pressing into Lena’s bottom lip.

And it’s so many different sensations, the scrape of teeth on her lip, the hand sliding from her breast to her wrist, gripping Lena's wrist above her head, the slickness of the strap-on as it pistons in and out of Lena, and then something else when Kara yanks her hips up to fuck her at a new angle. A new sensation, a new kind of pleasure, and Lena feels her eyes roll back, going slightly limp against the bed as she revels in the feeling of it.

“Gonna make you come so good, baby.” Kara picks up the pace, fucks into her quicker and harder, nuzzling into Lena’s neck when Lena throws her head back, and fuck, fuck—Lena comes hard, enough for her vision to turn a stark white, her moan breathy and broken, Kara; comes almost violently, like a natural disaster, her body arching, jerking with aftershocks, thighs shaking and clenching tightly around Kara’s waist, head tossed back and rolling on the sheet.

And Kara doesn’t stop there, she keeps fucking into Lena, tucking her face into Lena’s neck whispering I’m close, ‘mclose, thrusting relentlessly, and Lena pushes against the toy, and takes the strap-on deep once, twice more when Kara lets out a low, keening moan against her mouth.

Kara gasps for breath, trembling through the aftershocks, and collapses on top of Lena. She lies there draped over Lena’s chest in the loud silence of their heavy panting and entangled heartbeats, and seconds pass before she pulls out of her and rolls off.

The quietude stretches for what feels like an eternity, Lena’s mind filled with only static.

She feels full, desired in a way she’s never felt before, satiated in a way she’s never been before, and the white noise in the back of her mind is interrupted only by Kara’s touch. That’s when Lena realizes her lashes are wet. She blinks, and then Kara gently wipes away the tears before shifting and her fingers wrap around Lena’s hand, encasing it in a warm grasp.

She feels too fucked out to feel embarrassed.

“Oh,” Lena says weakly an indefinite amount of time later, and then realizes that Kara has already taken off the strap-on and has placed it on the nightstand to clean later, “oh, my god.”

She’s clammy with sweat and saliva and come.

“Yeah,” Kara agrees. She props herself up on her elbow, and gently brushes sweaty hair off Lena’s face. “You okay?”

“Mm.” Lena looks at Kara, drowsy drowsy, and then her heart skips at least five beats in a row. Kara looks wrecked, more so than before, eyes so, so dark, lips red and bitten, the tiniest satisfied curl to them. “Amazing.”

It’s quiet for a while.

“So, uh.” Lena bites the inside of her cheek, her coherent thoughts coming back in order. “You like me back, right?”

Gotta be sure.

Kara laughs softly, gives her that really, after everything? look, and her lips tilt into a shy smile. Cute. “I love you back.”

Lena beams, heart leaping in her chest. She cups Kara’s face and strokes Kara’s cheek with the pad of her thumb.

“We love each other. How interesting is that.”

“Mm, very interesting indeed.”

“You’re a woman. I’m a woman. We’re in love with each other. Darling, what if…?”

“Golly,” Kara breathes a laugh, finger drawing circles on the back of Lena’s neck. “Lena, you could just ask me to be your girlfriend the normal way.”

Lena flushes, smiling.

“Be my girlfriend.”

Kara nods, and says, “Now seal it with a ki—” Lena leans in, pressing her mouth against Kara’s, smiling and whispers a deep, low gonna make you come using my mouth or hand next time against Kara’s soft lips.

Kara flushes, and simply just nods again.

“No more sneaking into my bed,” Lena says, when she pulls back, and then laughs when Kara pouts at the word choice.

“Lena, to be fair the first time was an accident,” Kara reasons. “That one time you got sick—also an accident as well? The rest were sneaking, kind of, but they were highly approved sneaking. Enthusiastic consent.”

“Right. No more accidental bed sharing,” Lena corrects herself, and then clears her throat.

“I have the girlfriend card now, so it’s less odd. Permission to sneak into your bed any time I want?”

Lena grimaces, and Kara nudges for her to say it, a lovely grin on her face. There’s something about Kara’s face and—Lena gets it.

Home, and belonging, and safety.

Lena sighs. “Permission granted.”

“Yes! Yet another enthusiastic consent.”

Kara grins cheekily, eyes disappearing into little crescents. She looks so soft and alive. She nuzzles her face into Lena’s neck, I love you, and rubs her hand on Lena’s belly, all so cute and cuddly, and Lena swears that Kara is the very definition of tender and happiness, of light bouncing off of mirrors, of sun bleeding colour through stained glass, of wonder.

When Kara offers to clean Lena it’s not sensual touches searching for more. It’s grazing fingers and intimate gazes. As Kara joins her back in bed, the only discernible thought that crosses Lena’s mind is this: Lena likes it better this way—Kara the best friend and girlfriend sleeping in her bed instead of just Kara the best friend who visits her home and ends up sleeping in her bed. Lena loves the things that would always happen afterwards: the quiet breaths, the soft glances, the small talk about what to eat in the morning and possibly dinner and what movies are on TV tonight.

She’s looking forward to things she didn’t dare to consider before, but now feels giddily, indescribably happy thinking about; mornings and evenings and nights with Kara, Kara filling her apartment with her personal items and her presence, watching more Ghibili films together, dates Lena may already have half-planned in her head.

“So, how long have you liked me?” Kara asks lightly, a big grin on her face, and Lena will never, never get tired of seeing the stars in her eyes.

There’s something about Kara and this moment that makes Lena feel confident and certain, so she replies, quietly, “How long have you liked me?”

Kara laughs. Her body shakes with it, and Lena holds onto her a little bit tighter, nuzzling her face into Kara’s neck, smiling against her skin.

Lena feels like the world as she knows it is collapsing under the weight of something greater.

Something that should have come sooner.