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Self Destruction

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Touch, don't look.

An unspoken rule sat between them. There was never silence in the room because of it. One thing will lead to another and they would end up screaming and fighting or moaning and fucking.

This time was just like the others. Tongue dancing around the soft heated flesh of a cock, his blue orbs peer up to admire the beauty of Oikawa Tooru. Head leaned back with his neck exposed, clean hair now ruined, the position gave him the advantage to actually look this time and to take in the male's body. So transfixed on the older setters' body, he fails to realize he's slacking with his tongue or that the pale brown eyes had snapped down with disgust.

It's been weeks of this. Fucking and laying together. Kageyama wished he could say what he wants to say. Wished that his mouth would move in a less than sexual way to tell him he loves him. He cannot though. Fear and pride edge far too close to his mind and clouds it without any other thought.

"Tobio-chan, if you keep looking at me. I'll put the blindfold on you."

Eyes snap downwards, as a chuckle bubbles from Oikawa's chest. The older setter dips his fingers into ink colored locks before pulling him off. The leftover the scene was messy, drool covered lips and flushed cheeks, as the older presented the younger with yet another disgusted look. Pressing his foot down on Kageyama's covered cock, he snorted and pushed the younger back.

"So gross, clean your face before you fuck me. I'm all prepared. You just need lube and to be a little more cleaned up. Yucky Tobio-chan."

Although his words were childish, Kageyama knew better than anyone that he was actually dead serious. Wiping his saliva on his shirt, he pulls his clothes off one by one. Hands hook at the hem of his shirt, pulling the thin fabric over tight nicely worked muscles. As the clothing dropped to the ground with a thump, his eyes met Oikawa's bend over form, fingers shoved so far up his ass that it nearly looked like they had vanished. A hard lump formed within his throat as he swiftly pulled down the remaining of his clothes. Eagerness struck him oddly as he nearly tumbles over both their clothes to get to his prize.

"In."

It's a simple command that gets his cock twitching as his eyes to darken with an untamed emotion. So pressing forth, legs fitted against the older males, cock caught in the entrance of a needy hole, he fills Oikawa's empty space. There's a moan that falls from them both, a similar feeling of familiarity that heals their aching hearts with thrusts and bobbing cocks. Neither of them says anything during their time together. Not an uttering of a name or even a broken syllable, because they can't admit that type of thing now.

Always rough with his delivery, he rocks the brunette into the mattress with the sound of slapping hips. Blue orbs wander across the smooth skin of his crushes back until he caught the edge of brown eyes glaring at him. It's no question why he looks away.

Don't look.

Nails press into his arms exposing a deep red liquid as he slams his hips particularly rough into his former senpai's abused hole. A chocked sob falls from the other and he already knows that it isn't his fault. This always happens near his end. Lowering his back against the setters, his hands slip against Tooru's as his lips mumble soft words into his ear.

"It's alright. Cum."

It's all it takes before Oikawa's hips just forward, cum spraying on the sheets beneath them both. Kageyama thrusts deep and hard as he cums in him. Still unsure of the brunettes habits when it comes to particular sexual kinks. Like why would he want cum stuck inside him?

As he pulls his softening cock out, a trail of cum drips down Oikawa's thighs seeming to snap him out of his saddened trance. Glaring backwards, he pulls Kageyama forth to press a rough kiss on the younger males lips.

"I hate you. If Iwaizumi noticed me the—"

"Then I wouldn't be needed I know."

It's always this conversation that follows. It hurts in some ways but he can understand that Oikawa couldn't reason with anyone else like this. That's what makes this feel better in a way. They both get what they want.

The brunette looks conflicted, eyebrows pinched downwards in a rather angry but surprised way. It wasn't an image he had received very often, but it was enough to give him a rapid amount of butterflies as dread mingles with them.

Sliding his body away from Oikawa's he lays against his navy blue sheets as sweat drips off his milky white skin. From the corner of his eye he can see the older male slip from his room messily dressed as he slams the door shut. Tooru was not impressed by mimicking his past words it seems.

For a moment, he ponders if he should chase after him, but he knows he has no chance and instead allows his eyelids to fall heavy against his eyes. The scent of someone he loves drowns his senses to the point he can no longer hold back. A broken sob tears from his lips as the secret of his love remains as such. A secret.