Chapter Text
Kinoe met Kakashi Hatake when he was ten years old, still part of ROOT, and working under Danzō.
It was a short time, and neither expected anything else to come of it. The older boy hardly expected to see anyone again once they were out of his sight. He’d become detached from most people after losing so many that he cared for at such a young age.
Their paths crossed again a few years later. Kakashi saved Kinoe from Danzō's wrath after a failed mission. He’d been assigned to kill the silver-haired boy, to steal his Sharingan for Danzō’s purposes.
He couldn’t do it. Not after Kakashi spared his life so many times already. The thirteen-year-old now known as Tenzō joined the ANBU Black Ops.
Tenzō and Kakashi worked together as Team Ro. Seeing face after face, new team members rotating in and out at a numbing rate. All dying, turned rogue or discharged from the program.
The younger man grew comfortable with the pattern. Unphased by watching teammates die in front of him. It was the same as ROOT, people died. It was normal. And that in itself, shouldn’t have been such a constant in his life.
He didn’t know any other way to live, fear of dying in the back of his mind. Constantly wondering who would be next to die by enemy hands or the Chidori of the ruthless Hound.
Kakashi tried his damndest to hide away his feelings. The cold dark eye that peeked from behind his mask and headband, it felt nothing. He’d never show emotions during a mission. It was a sign of weakness, it was begging to be trampled on, taken advantage of, and disrespected.
Still, Kakashi did have emotions, as much as he fought to bury them in blood and savagery.
Tenzō knew him too well to fall for the act but left it be, knowing the pain was too great for Kakashi to share.
They’d talked of the older man’s past only a handful of times. It didn't need words.
Tenzō read Kakashi’s file in the ninja records more times than he’d like to admit. He knew very well what the silver-haired man was afraid of, even if it was unspoken between them.
Tenzō turned fifteen shortly before Itachi joined Team Ro.
He didn’t particularly enjoy the dynamic change. It was always weird to have to talk to anyone besides his senpai during missions. Tenzō only spoke when spoken to and didn’t go out of his way to make friends with their teammates. It was always short-lived, and he’d lost steam years ago.
Though he couldn’t deny that Itachi's talent was frightening, and that was something to talk about.
He was alone more often than he cared for with the younger boy coming into play. Kakashi and Itachi were assigned together to guard the Third Hokage. That was understandable, their skills more than enough to keep any threats at bay.
Tenzō was sent on missions by himself. He was completely capable of taking down most shinobi with his Wood Style. That should have been something he was proud of.
Now and then he’d be scheduled to work a shift with Kakashi or Itachi, and either was fine. All he needed was a friend by his side.
He wouldn’t exactly call the young Uchiha a friend. More of a teammate in the most basic term, because of the other’s reserved nature.
He expected that, though. It was harder to lose a comrade when you got involved in their life. Itachi was keeping himself sane, and Tenzō completely understood.
Still, he lingered around places he knew Kakashi frequented. He’d followed him the first time under Danzō’s orders years ago and was comforted in the lull of watching from afar.
As much as he hated getting close to people, he was close to Kakashi and wouldn’t change that for anything. They’d been through so much together. He didn’t want to think of what he’d do without the comforting presence of the older man.
He knew very well that Kakashi could pretty much always feel his chakra within a certain range. Sometimes he would tease him, sometimes they'd see each other from afar without words. Either way, it happened often. It wasn’t anything the older man scolded him about, so he kept doing it.
Especially if Tenzō was by himself during one of Kakashi’s trips to the bar. The various levels of drunk Kakashi would have the younger man keep him company on his wobbly walks home. Unless he was taking home a guest for the night.
It wasn’t any sort of secret that Kakashi slept around with someone new at every turn. Tenzō didn’t think it was any of his business, so he thought nothing of it.
Aside from the pang of loneliness, he felt nothing. Forced himself to hold back any feelings as he watched his friend leave on the arm of a new face every so often.
He turned in the other direction for his apartment. He didn’t understand the need himself, but whatever helped the older man cope.
A little over two years later, eighteen-year-old Tenzō was floored. Kakashi relayed the news that Itachi, at only thirteen, was leaving Team Ro to become a Captain of his own team.
He wouldn’t admit it, but Tenzō held secret happiness to be a two-man team with Kakashi again. He wondered when he’d gotten so greedy with the attention of his senpai, and felt sick guilt swelling inside him.
Even if Kakashi enjoyed their time together just as much, he wasn’t going to be with Tenzō forever. That was a reality he didn’t want to face. Without Kakashi’s friendship, he’d be as alone as he was in his childhood.
The two did their best to give one another gifts every year. It wasn’t hard to remember when their birthdays were about a month apart. Kakashi was four years ahead, ever above the younger man.
The night before another routine mission, and it was nothing unusual. They slept at each other’s places back and forth at times like these. It was easier to plan if they were in the same safe place.
They’d need to be asleep sooner than later, but Kakashi was still much more awake than he had any right to be.
Tenzō laid out on a bedroll beside the older man, who had disappeared without a word a bit ago.
“Senpai, what are you doing? It’s almost time to-”
“I know that I just thought I’d go ahead and…” the silver-haired man trailed off, floating back in view with a book in his hand. He slid it across the floor towards Tenzō.
His eyebrows knit together, and he glanced over it. Eyes widened at the adult content warning on the front cover. “What is-?”
“Do you remember a few years ago? You were wondering why my nose was shoved so far into it. Well, now you can read such works of art.”
Tenzō smirked, skimming the pages before wagging it at him. “What kind of senpai gives his kōhai smut novels for his birthday?”
“Hey, you listen! You’re old enough to read that! I was going to give it to you last year but…” He averted his eye, shrugging a little. “I misplaced it and found it again the other day.”
He sighed, a smile playing at his face, happy being acknowledged on his birthday. “Thank you, Kakashi-senpai, it means a lot to me.”
The only reason he knew the date of his own birthday was because it was in his files from ROOT. They didn’t celebrate birthdays. What was the point? The members were nothing but tools for the Hidden Leaf Village. Tools didn’t feel the need to celebrate any occasion.
Over the years, he’d almost been able to break himself from that way of thinking inked into his brain. After nights spent crying to himself, he was eventually found out by the older man. Caught in the middle of nightmares, and comforted back to sleep by Kakashi. It always happened that way, and they never had to mention it afterward.
He felt he’d never repay all the kindness the older man gave. The small gestures piling up without end. He tried, there was no doubt about that. Still, it never compared to all the instances of Kakashi saving his life.
He had fond memories of his first birthday party. He was thirteen and Kakashi had to explain why there was a cake with candles in front of him. It was handmade, and it was painstakingly done. With a mess left hiding in the kitchen that the older man refused to let him help clean.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Kakashi tousling his locks that fell to his shoulders. The book was in his hands still, and he held onto it as if it were solid gold.
The older man raised an eyebrow once he returned his gaze. “Yeah, well you’d better get me something nice too.”
The boys’ time together was short-lived, with Yūgao joining them soon after. The three had worked together during various missions in the past. Kakashi knew her even longer than Tenzō had.
She was fine for a team member. Well, aside from the knowing glances she’d flash to Tenzō when Kakashi wasn’t looking. She seemed to like to play matchmaker, and that only embarrassed the younger man. While their Captain turned a blind eye, either somehow not noticing or not caring.
“Come on, Tenzō, make your move some time!” she cooed, hardly using a hushed tone. “I’m not after him, but there’s nothing to say someone else won’t be!”
Kakashi was more than likely out of earshot, but Tenzō didn’t want to find out otherwise. “Yūgao quit it! I-I’m not going to-!”
“What are you doing over here to get my kōhai so worked up?” Kakashi chuckled, strolling over to them as he finished zipping his grey flak vest. “I can hear you across the locker room, Tenzō.”
He froze, staring up at the older man with an open mouth and no words.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow at Yūgao, who hummed in innocence. For being such a mature guy, Tenzō had his moments of excited childish energy he missed out on when he was younger.
He shook his head, strapping his sword onto his back. Hardly anyone had a completely untainted childhood. That was the world they all lived in. “Let’s go, you two.”
“You know I’m only trying to help you, right?” the purple-haired woman mumbled.
She waited until after the mission of the day when Kakashi ducked out for a nice shower. Finally, she could get her hands on Tenzō to tempt him into adult activities.
She couldn’t wrap her romantic brain around the younger man. How could he not want to find love?
At the least, didn’t he want to hop into bed with someone before he died out of nowhere on a mission? It happened to poor bastards all the time! That was the last thing she wanted for her young virgin friend.
“I-I don’t feel like it helps when you tease me all the time,” Tenzō fumbled with his equipment, ready to take his leave. He didn’t enjoy being cornered like this, by anyone. “You’re doing more harm than good.”
“Oh, the only reason you don’t like it is because I’m not Kakashi.” Her eyes narrowed and a sly smile spread on her face. “What if I started calling you kōhai, huh Tenzō?”
His face was bright red, lips pursed across his face and dark eyes unblinking.
She took a step back. “Stop making that face, you know I’m right.”
She rested a hand on his shoulder. “Listen, not everyone is made for a relationship and ANBU, but ...” She clapped her hand firmer on his shoulder. “You need to get laid, Tenzō!”
“Laid?! There’s no way I can do that! Not with-!”
“Who’s getting laid in here?” Kakashi asked, poking his head around the corner, hair damp and flat.
“K-Kakashi-senpai! You-!” Tenzō stuttered.
He winked, which was more of a blink with his Sharingan eye already closed. Still, his voice held all the seduction. “Not planning on it, unless I’ve got an offer.”
Yūgao opened her mouth and Tenzō immediately clamped it shut. “No, senpai, I-I’m sorry, just go ahead home and get some rest.”
“...Thanks, Tenzō.”
The team was busy, as usual. Tenzō hadn’t seen Kakashi in almost a week, in a constant rush of work. That was nothing new, but it still brought his enthusiasm down. He was never an energetic guy, to begin with.
He’d heard that the older man returned from a mission that morning. More than likely, he went straight to sleep without cooking himself anything. As well as Kakashi could cook, he was far too lazy to after working for days on end.
Kakashi wasn’t the best about his care when he was under stress, and that was almost a constant.
The brunette wandered to the familiar apartments. He stared up at the door that belonged to Kakashi’s apartment. He’d been up there countless times, but from the ground, it seemed so far away and hard to reach.
Lost in his thoughts, He didn't notice. Unfocused and too busy wondering what Kakashi might have in his fridge to cook.
Fist raised, ready to knock on the door when he stopped mid-motion.
There was an unmistakable female voice on the other side of the door, and it didn’t belong to Yūgao. At least...he hoped it wasn’t her moaning. That would be incredibly awkward...
It didn’t matter who it was. That was the very last thing he wanted to hear coming from his friend’s apartment. Something worse was right after.
The bed creaked in rhythm and there was only one grunt from Kakashi himself. Tenzō finally snapped to reality, hauled himself over the railing to the third floor. Not bothering with the stairs he’d walked up, leaving as quickly as he could.
He slid to the floor of his apartment. Barricading the door as if he were being followed by Kakashi’s stampeding Ninja Hounds.
His chest heaved, he couldn’t catch his breath fast enough, and his mind was racing.
He was always so careful. Aware, to a painful degree, that his teammates had lives outside of missions. Unlike himself. He checked for chakra body count before getting too close to Kakashi’s apartment, or anyone else. He would never push boundaries or try to make uncomfortable situations.
After so many years of avoiding it, it happened.
He always tuned out the rumors of Kakashi, the pervert shinobi. He knew very well that his senpai enjoyed those dirty books. He knew that he acted on his dirty desires, and that was ok. Hearing his friend in the act was...not.
He needed something, anything to take his mind off of it.
His apartment was hardly lived in. Aside from a few plants, a few books on architecture, and various wooden knick-knacks. He’d made a few over the years he was proud enough to keep.
Set aside from the rest of his books was the novel Kakashi had given him for his birthday. Now it felt like it was mocking him somehow.
His hand hovered over it, and a heavy sigh left him, flipping to the page he had bookmarked. It was foolish trying to distract himself from sex with more sex.
“Her hands groped wildly at his jeans, desperate to get a handful of his hot meat. Finally, she unsheathed his dripping sword and buried it into the hilt of her mouth.”
Tenzō blinked at the words. Forgetting for a moment how...crude the descriptions were in the novel.
The few times he’d had time to pick up the book and read, he hadn’t thought of a lot. Picturing the descriptions of the characters in blank visions. How he thought they’d appear to be doing their filthy deeds.
Instead, all he imagined was Kakashi. Pawing at the younger man’s pants forcing the vivid image from his head before they got any further.
His face burned with a blush, deeper than it already had been. He closed the book with a groan and a loud clap of pages.
That immediately backfired.
It was inappropriate to think about the Captain of his team, his senpai, his friend in that way.
Shame washed over him and he shoved the book back onto the shelf, retreating to his bed. He was hoping to forget everything that had happened.
He’d gone to make another attempt at seeing Kakashi but expected nothing of it. It was almost three in the morning. The older man would undoubtedly be asleep by now. At least, Tenzō hoped he hadn’t pulled another all-nighter.
He focused on analyzing the chakra coming from Kakashi’s apartment. Staring up with an intense gaze that met with a dark eye staring back when he least expected it.
He sputtered, straightening up. The silver-haired man was staring down at him from the railing. “S-senpai! I- Uh-”
The gentle breeze of the night was making chills down his spine, and not the way Kakashi’s eye trained on him.
There was natural intimidation surrounding the man’s Sharingan. Tenzō didn’t agree. It never made him feel the tightness in his chest, the breath leaving his lungs as Kakashi’s natural eye did. On top of that, it held none of the hatred that Danzō’s Sharingan did. Kakashi wouldn’t hurt him, he knew that well.
“...Do you want to come up?”
The brunette didn’t have any air left in his body, blushing brightly when all that came out was a soft gasp.
He chewed his lower lip, managing to correct his breathing. He took that as a sign he was in over his head, turning to leave. “Oh, no, that’s...I don’t want to bother you. Good night.”
He’d taken a few steps, then stopped dead in his tracks when he heard, “I want you. To stay.”
The door's gentle close behind the younger man calmed him. Pinned against it by another body as soon as it locked, that calm vanished.
He didn’t have time to speak before lips were crashing into him, and everything went hazy. It was too fast, too warm, too many sensations to process all at once.
Kakashi's fierce lips kissing him, teeth knocking together, nipping skin, tongue lashing out.
His hands were exploring every inch of uncovered skin. Then, fingers were dipping under the fabric.
The older man’s hands were busy fondling the other’s chest and petting the length in his pants.
His hips were bucking in time, his back arched. His head was spinning as he fought for breath that the older man’s mouth stole from him.
“Do you like this? Is this what you want?” the silver-haired man growled, teeth sinking into his throat. “Tell me, Tenzō.”
His head shot back, knocking painfully against the door and all that came out was a soft plea, “Ah, Kakashi, more, don’t stop…”
“I’ll give you everything I have." he purred, slowly slipping down the younger man’s body as he freed his trembling cock from his boxers.
His eyes were wide, vision going blurry with pleasure. Kakashi’s kiss bruised lips wrapped around his tip. “S-senpai, oh fuck, I-I-”
He couldn’t form words anymore. Knees buckling and supporting himself against the door. He was overtaken by the mind-blowing experience. It didn’t feel real.
“...Kakashi…” he groaned, unaware of where he was, but very aware of the tent pitched in his pants. A shaky sigh escaped his lips. His hand snaked over his bulge. Desperate for some relief from the constricting material. It was almost painful.
His eyes snapped open completely. Grogginess was gone and hit with the realization that it was a dream. A horny dream. About Kakashi. And he was about to touch himself.
To say that Tenzō felt guilty was an understatement.
“Did something...happen?” Yūgao's voice was soft, her hand resting on the younger man’s shoulder. “You’re acting...more emotionless than usual.”
His stare vacant and cast down. He couldn’t look anyone in the eyes all morning. Instead, focusing on something far off and unseen to anyone else.
“I’m not emotionless.” he defended, crossing his arms. His tone was flatter than he’d intended and he almost swore.
He’d made it a personal goal to stop his resting creep face after scaring everyone so many times over the years. He’d yet to perfect it. Old habits die hard.
She leaned in, glancing back and seeing Kakashi was off writing something down for a mission. “Did something...you know...happen?”
He pursed his lips tightly, face flushing, and curling further into himself. He wanted to phase into a tree and never come out. “No. It has- I-it’s not about…”
Her eyebrows rose, and she laughed through her nose, whispering, “Okay, so it’s about Kakashi. I know that much.”
He groaned into his hands, tugging on the edges of the cold metal frame on his face. “Yūgao, seriously .”
“Can I guess what happened?”
His shoulders slumped and a heavy sigh deflated his body. It was a few beats before he said anything. “Sure.”
There was absolutely no way she could-
“Did you walk in on something you shouldn’t have?”
He said nothing, fingers catching in brown locks.
She squished her mouth to one side, nodding at his subtle change. “And then…”
He almost gave himself whiplash looking at her when she said, “You had a dream, didn’t you? About…?” Her eyes flicked to Kakashi, who was still turned away. Busy on actually important work. Rather than consoling a young adult over the subject of his boners.
Tenzō’s throat was dry, and he swallowed, but it did nothing. He nodded in defeat, face painted bright red.
She winked, proud glow to her eyes. “I’m not a sensory ninja for nothing. That comes to romance too!”
“...I don’t know what to do. I feel horrible.”
She smiled. “You could tell him. You know, just-”
“No, I can’t!”
He slapped a hand over his loud mouth, eyes snapping up to see Kakashi looking over his shoulder at him. Tenzō could see a faint smile under the mask, and that made the brunette’s heart skip a beat.
The second he felt any positivity towards Kakashi he wanted to run to the toilet. He'd dunk his head until it was drowned within him. He resisted the urge that grew with every interaction he shared with the older man.
The next few days they were busy with missions. That didn’t stop Tenzō’s brain from tormenting him with steamy dreams about his senpai. It was only ramping up to the next base with every passing night. He wasn't sure he could withstand anything more.
He was dreading going to sleep, knowing he’d wake up with a hand down his pants, wishing it was someone’s other than his own. Then, he would shove his face into his pillow and shame himself for such indecency for the Team Captain. It was an endless cycle of pain.
He decided to return the book that Kakashi had given him. Almost tempted to think it was cursed, and that was the reason he was having such nightmares.
He hadn’t heard Kakashi was back from his mission yet.
He knew for sure when he opened the unlocked front door and found the older man taking a long swig of beer.
“Tenzō? What are youuu doin’ here?”
The younger man blinked, digging the book out of his back pouch. “I’m sorry, I was stopping by to return your book.”
Kakashi squinted at him, struggling to read the title through double vision. When he did, his eyebrows rose, and he pointed. “Oh hey, I gave you that!”
Tenzō laughed through his nose, setting it down in a barely empty spot on his vast shelf of novels. “You did, senpai.” He paused, glancing at the door. “...I guess that’s all I came here for, so-”
“No, come on! Don’t go yet! You just got here!” He patted the space next to him as he took another gulp of beer. “We haven’t had a sleepover in forever! I bet you don’t even remember those!”
Because you’re constantly sleeping with people. How can I spend any time with you?
He surprised himself with that selfish thought and pushed past it.
He crossed the room to awkwardly sit down next to the man that was now cheering. “Do you want me to stay with you? Have you eaten today?”
“Shush! No taking care of me! You’re my kōhai! I should take care of you!” He shoved his beer at the younger man, almost spilling it on the both of them. “Do you want some? Have you drank before?”
“Oh, uh, no that’s okay. I’m fine.” The last thing he needed was to be loose enough to act on his secret desires.
He waved him off, finishing the bottle in one go. Tenzō tried his hardest not to watch his Adam’s apple bob as he sucked it down.
“Whatever, you’re no fun. This is why I don’t hang out with you.”
Before the brunette could feel sad, Kakashi snorted and lugged him into a hug. “Aw, that was mean! I’m just kidding, I promise! You’re my favorite person to be around! You don’t annoy me like Guy does.”
He knew Kakashi was drunk then, because he only made jokes at Guy's expense when he was. The truth was, Guy was Kakashi's best friend and eternal rival, and there was no way he'd call him annoying sober.
He fought off the smile on his face. He ignored how pleasantly warm the older man’s heated body was with alcohol coursing through him. “Thank you, senpai.”
“Did you like the book?” he asked, resting his head on the brunette’s shoulder.
He was more honest than he intended, caught up in how comforting the other was. “...It reminded me of you. So I did.”
“Ah, that’s great! I’ve never found anyone to talk about the books with! So, did you-?”
At that point, Tenzō was only half paying attention. More caught up in how much he’d missed spending time together than slurred words about that dumb book.
He woke in the morning, not entirely remembering falling asleep. More than that, having no recollection of Kakashi being shirtless the night before. Or being in the older man’s bed and falling asleep on his chest.
He was so flustered he fell out of bed, dragging the blanket with him, which woke Kakashi up with a groan.
“Ugh, first the sun in my eyes, now this,” he grumbled, snatching the blankets back and curling up in them.
“Shit, sorry Kakashi-senpai! I just, I-”
He reached out blindly, patting Tenzō on the head roughly, still half asleep. “Come back to bed. It’s too early.”
Tenzō blinked up at him, face on fire, and too shocked to move for a few seconds. “O-okay…”
Kakashi winced at the simple movement of the younger man rejoining him.
Tenzō tilted his head. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, just a little hungover.”
He moved to get up, stopped by the silver-haired man rubbing his face into his back.
“Don’t. Just relax. It’s your day off, I’m your Captain. Listen to me.”
He melted back in place, enjoying the feeling of hot breath on his back through his shirt. “Yes sir.”
He’d regret it later, curse himself for using Kakashi for his twisted pleasure. At the moment, when everything was so calm and perfect, he didn’t mind.
Until Yūgao poofed into the room, already talking up a storm and stopping when she saw the two of them.
“Captain Kakashi, we need to- Oh! A-and Tenzō! I see I’m...interrupting something- I’ll just- I found out we have a mission tonight.” She turned around and prepared to leave, unable to keep the smirk off her face. “Good job going for your dreams, Tenzō.”
And with that, they were alone again in a puff of smoke.
Kakashi was first to say anything, sighing heavily but not moving. A headache keeping him very, very still. “That’s going to be fun explaining to her later.”
“I-I’m sorry. I’ll go.”
Kakashi caught his arm, grasp weak as he pulled him back once more. “If we’ve got a mission, I need someone to nurse me back to health before then. Can’t kill properly with a hangover.”
He left the bed again with Kakashi’s permission this time, set on finding some kind of medicine. “I’ll be back, don’t worry.”
When he returned with Food Pills plenty and found the older man in the same spot when he’d left.
One eye opened to peek at him, and a smile crept on his face that was now wearing a mask. “...So, have you been having nice dreams lately?”
For a moment, he thought he’d had another wet dream during the night and this time in front of the worst person possible. “W-what? Oh no, I-I’m sorry, I-!”
Kakashi sat up, following Tenzō’s frantic hand moments to take the Food Pills from him. He swallowed them with minimal effort. “I’m only teasing you about what Yūgao was saying. What was she talking about?”
His mouth flapped open and closed like a fish. He shook his head profusely, unwilling to speak anymore.
Kakashi rested his cheek on his hand, eye narrowing at him. “Listen, you’re stressed out over something. If it’s been bothering you for this long, I want to help you.” He looked at anything besides the young man. “And, as your Captain, I want you to be performing your best during missions. Not distracted over whatever it is.”
He pinched his eyes shut, head bowed, and the only sound his heartbeat pounding in his chest. “I-I’ve been having dreams about you, and- and they’re really inappropriate and I’m so, so sorry Kakashi-senpai!”
He got a hard laugh out of that, wiping his eye and finally breathing once he’d calmed himself down. “Oh, Tenzō, is that all? Don’t even worry about it, that happens to everyone. You can’t control what you dream about, right?”
As much as he wanted that to comfort him, it didn’t. It was true he couldn’t control what twisted fantasies his mind conjured up, but he could control who he had a crush on. He was failing miserably so far.
There was one thing that completely took his mind off of his rampant feelings for his closest friend. Itachi murdering the entire Uchiha clan at thirteen, and Team Ro left to clean the mess.
Then, Kakashi spiraled into a depression he wore out in the open, and Tenzō was helpless to stop it.