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Coughing Up The Promethazine

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Selina was hopped up on painkillers and local anaesthesia after another “spa appointment,” and in a surprising turn of events, she was alone because Gary had a family obligation. He remembers people outside of his boss? Amy thought, as Sue called her and asked to stop by to check in on the Vice President. It wasn’t uncommon for her to not come to work, just like POTUS could be found golfing literally any day of the week. But still, Amy felt bad she was “recovering” by herself.

Oh, who the fuck am I even kidding right now, she rolled her eyes as she got off the Metro at Dupont Circle, she’s the Vice fucking President, she could call in a Secret Service person if she needed attention that badly. The walk towards the Observatory was peaceful; birds were chirping and the sun was bright but not sweltering. A gorgeous Friday in April, and Amy Brookheimer was spending it with a whiny plastic post-op. It made her just sick enough to do it anyways. 

“Hellooooo!” Amy heard, walking into the VEEP’s home. Despite the hyper voice, the blonde still found herself in awe of how pretty the home was. It was definitely cosier than the White House, and she found herself enjoying the art as she headed upstairs to see Selina. 

“Hi, ma’am, how are you feeling?”

“Amy! I’m sooo happy to see you!”

She’s definitely drugged, Amy thought, sitting down on a loveseat that had been moved closer to the bed. Selina's eyes had little bruises around them, a dead giveaway of the Botox that had ended up there. She looked bad, but not bad enough that it would take longer than the weekend to heal up.

“I’m actually feeling pretty good, but woah, my god I’m so high right now. Betcha weren’t able to tell that, were ya?”

“Absolutely not, ma’am.”

“Oh, stop it, call me Selina. I’m not fit to be in office like this,” Selina giggled as Amy’s eyes boggled. 

“No, ma’am, painkillers or not, I’m not calling you-“

“What were you gonna say? Selina?”

Amy exhaled through her nose, clenching her jaw as the brunette opposite her bit her tongue to not laugh. 

“Fine, Selina.”

“Oh my god you really said it! I’ll have to fire you!”

Selina burst out laughing as Amy rolled her eyes. 

“You really don’t want to be here, do you,” Selina near whispered, her smile turning into a pout upon seeing the blonde’s face, who quickly put her hands up in defence. 

“No, m- Selina, I’m just worried you’re in pain, and I figured you shouldn't be by yourself.” Medicated or not, she finished in her mind.

“Oh god, that shit? No, I’m hopped up on- what did they give me, do you know? No? Well, I can’t feel a damn thing, and you’re here, so I’m happy.”

“You’re happy because I’m here?”

Selina giggled as Amy looked puzzled. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Um, sure, as long as it’s not a matter of national emergency.”

“Amy," Selina hiccuped, "I think you’re really pretty.”

“Oh, well, thank you?”

“No, you don’t get it!”

“I guess not?”

Selina patted the space next to her, scooting over for Amy to come sit down next to her. As the younger woman tentatively did so, Selina giggled. 

“Amy, you’re fucking pretty. Like, like, fucking pretty. Y’know, Catherine told me she was bisexual once, and I said she wasn't, but I think maybe she had the right idea.”

Selina started giggling again, and Amy stared straight up at the ceiling. Oh my god, this is what I was like when I got my wisdom teeth out. Except I didn’t confess my attraction for someone who worked for me, and I sure as shit don't remember coming out. She looked over at the brunette, who smiled as she grabbed Amy’s hand hard. 

Ow, that’s tight.”

“Well I like you tightly. I mean, I like you, um, not like your-“

“Selina, can we talk about something else.”

“You don’t like me back!”

“Yes! I mean, no, I don’t, I meant yes as in-“

Selina’s eyes, though bruised, started welling with tears. 

“You really don’t like me?”

“Selina, I’m sorry, but I can’t-“

“Why not?”

“Because you’re the Vice President of the United States, and, in case you’ve forgotten, the woman I’ve worked with, worked for, for a decade!”

Selina sniffled a bit, before she turned on her side away from Amy. The blonde rolled her eyes, but wondered how much of this was typical melodrama or if any of it was real. 

Mumbling dragged Amy out of her thoughts.

“Did you say something, ma’am?”

After another sniffle, Amy heard, “I knew you were into women too, so I thought I had a chance.”

Woah, not melodrama, she thought, staring at the back of Selina’s messy hair. 

“Selina, it wasn't going to happen, whether or not you were into me, or if I was into you, or if I’m into women, and I’m not even asking how you found that out.”


Shit. That bar last June. Amy had run into the Second Daughter at a gay club in Manhattan during a VP visit, and hadn’t thought anything of it before now.

“Honestly, I’m not even sure how she knew it was me.”

Selina chucked. “She heard your voice and remembered how shrill you’d sounded before.”

Amy hit her limit at that, and swung her legs off the bed, as she heard the other woman sit up.

“Ames, where are you going?”

Even though she melted hearing Selina’s nickname for her, Amy got up and grabbed her purse. 

“I just have to go, ma’am, I’ll see you on Monday if you’re there.”

As she left the room, she heard more sniffling, and Amy wouldn’t admit to feeling her heart ache for a second or two, but it did. 

The rest of the weekend was busy for Amy; she dodged staffers asking her out for drinks, and ignored relentless calls from Gary, who’d apparently shown up to the VEEP residence Saturday morning to find Selina watching “Sleepless in Seattle” on repeat, surrounded by used tissues, and refusing to stop crying. So on Sunday night, to break the monotony, she went to visit her parents for dinner. And while it was nice, it was almost eerie how few calls she was getting, particularly from Gary, who’d somehow went radio silent at two or so that afternoon. But what Selina had said stuck with her, and even though Amy wasn’t particularly sentimental, about anything, she wondered where Friday’s conversation had come from. Was it loneliness? Was it being bored, and maybe horny? Or maybe it was real, an option that scared her more than anything else. I guess I have to face the music, Amy thought as she crawled into bed later. There was nothing she dreaded more than figuring out what a silence from Selina Meyer meant, and she’d never been at the receiving end of one before. 

“Amy, thank god you’re here,” Sue said, rising from her desk, grabbing Amy’s coat and pushing her through the room. “Selina’s been spinning since she got here at seven, and she’s refusing to see anyone else until she’s seen you. I don’t know what the hell happened on Friday, but tag, you’re it.”

“Should crawl in there on my knees, Sue?”

“Do whatever it takes,” Sue deadpanned, before creaking open the door separating the cubicles from the VEEP’s office. Amy squeezed in between the door and the frame, eyes closed, only opening them once she was completely inside and Sue shut the door behind her. 

“Hi, we need to have a quick chat,” Selina said quickly, rising from her desk and sitting down on a couch, motioning for Amy to sit across from her. She sat slowly and took a deep breath, letting her boss speak. 

“I- I know I may have said some things on Friday that were…. Inappropriate, if we’re being honest. Would you agree?”

The blonde nodded slightly, unsure of where the conversation would end.

“And I admitted something to you that, if it went public, could wound my chances in my future. We can both agree on that. So, I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, and saying things I regret saying, and I don’t know what else to say. Let’s forget about Friday, okay?”

Amy let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, before meeting Selina’s eye from across the room. 

“Ma’am, do you think you’ll run for president in a few years?”


“I’m serious. If you want to come out as-“

“Absolutely fucking not. I’m not Selina-Van-Dykeing my career from here on out!” 

“Are you an idiot? You’re already respected, but you’re losing the far left. If you come out, sure it could hurt your legacy, but it might just work in the meantime.”

Selina stood up and faced away from Amy, her favourite pose when she was trying to figure out how to make someone else’s idea sound like her own. 

“I’m gonna think about this. When you get back out there, everybody I’m fine, that I was dealing with a personal emergency I needed your advice on.”

“You sure you don’t want me to stay?“

“Go. Amy. Now.”

Sighing, she left, taking one last look at Selina. Could have gone worse, she thought as Gary rushed back in, but something sank in her gut, a feeling Amy had no bravery left to name. 

It had been two weeks since their awkward one on one, but everything had gone back to normal. Typical speculation about where Selina had been on Friday, and Mike had thrown out a story about “family time,” which threw the press off, as Catherine was still at school, and her mother had died. Amy spent two full days correcting his statement (with some very well placed donations to the ‘free press,’) and fell back on her usual banter with Selina as they debated firing him. It wouldn’t happen, they both knew, but it was a give and take. Something normal. 

Amy had been figuring out a .gov website glitch when she heard Selina’s voice carrying from inside. 



“Can I borrow you for a minute? Just wanted to run something by you.”

She shrugged as she walked into the office. Closing the door behind her, she saw Gary slip out the other exit as the Vice President wringing her hands at her desk, a telltale sign that some stupid, difficult conversation was imminent. 

“What’s going on, ma’am?”

“I was thinking about that thing you suggested, a few weeks ago, about…”

“About you coming out.”

“Yes! Yes, that thing. I think it’s a maybe. But would, would you come out first?”

Amy was taken aback. 

You, want me, to come out before you?”

“It would definitely make me feel better,” Selina grumbled, in a way she always convinced people to do her bidding. 

“What would it solve?”

“Well, for starters, it would let people know our team is comfortable with gay people, and then after maybe a year or so I could do the same thing?”

“That would make it sound like I turned you queer, ma’am,” Amy said, chuckling. But she abruptly stopped as she saw Selina’s face flush. 

“Amy, can I ask you a question? Answer however you want.”


“Do you remember what I said, when you visited me after my spa day?”

“Um, do you really want to know?”

Yes,” Selina spat, her gaze steely across the table, and Amy felt herself turn red. 

“You told me, you, that you, oh my god I can’t say this shit out loud.”

“Yeah, but I asked you to. Don’t go mute on me, I want to know.”

You told me I was pretty. And then, you told me you were into women, and that you thought you had a chance with me because I did too.”

Selina’s breath staggered, her head fell into her hands. As moments went by, Amy felt so tempted to reach out a hand, try to comfort her, tell her it was fine, nothing was changing-

But the brunette stood abruptly, and looked Amy dead in the eyes. 

“Well, I was right. Nope, I’m not taking that shit back, I wanted to hire you because I wanted to screw you. And clearly, something went right besides that, because I’m the VEEP. But I always thought of you as more than someone who worked for me, and as I was thinking about it more and more, especially after I divorced Andrew, and then years later I went high on painkillers, and then I fucking told you.”

After a moment of silence, both of them stared at each other, Selina trying to scrutinise every expression that crossed the other woman’s face, and couldn’t read a damn thing. 

“Fucking say something.

And grabbing a fistful of Selina’s hair, Amy kissed her. A mess of teeth and lips and spit, and by god, it felt like she was on fire.