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Am I still in time?

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CARMILLA’S POV

 

Someone shifts near you, and in the blink of an eye you realize who that is.

 

You slept with Laura.

 

You had sex with her and really slept by her side.

 

Had sex? That doesn’t quite sound good to you. But this is not the moment. 

 

There’s a sleepy Laura just near you. She moves a bit and snuggles into you. She’s still sleeping, so you’re not sure if she’s doing that voluntarily or if that’s just-

 

“Good morning”, she mumbles into your neck. Her hot breath tickling you a bit.

 

You stiffen for a second, scared, as if she was just able to hear your thoughts. 

 

“Morning”, you say back, not adding anything else.

 

She caresses your cheek and then your shoulder with her hand, but after a moment, seeing you not responding in any way to that, she draws back entirely and moves to her side of the bed, “sorry, i didn’t mean..”

 

You know she sensed there’s something wrong with you. “No, don’t worry..”, is all you’re able to say.

 

You don’t actually know why you’re being this cold. Maybe it’s your defense mechanism, but defense from what? She is the only one to whom you want to show your true self. 

 

Maybe it’s because you’re embarrassed by how intense the night with her was for you. How you cried and how you let her take care of you. But actually, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and deep down you know.

 

But there’s still a little bridge you have to cross to reach her. And you know what that is.

 

“Breakfast? I’ll make something”, she says enthusiastically and unexpectedly, standing up. 

 

“Mm”, you nod, and she extends her hand to give you a quick and sweet pinch on your cheek.

 

She leaves the bedroom to go and prepare something, leaving you literally without words. She knows why you don’t want to talk about it. She knows how to be respectful of you and of your boundaries. She knows how to still tell you ‘everything is fine’, without being pressing and inconsiderate. 

 

She knows you.

 

And you know she’s the one. 

 

After a good breakfast, you now need to have a shower and then go pick up Evelyn from your mother’s place. Laura told you she needs to go home and you’re now at the door.

 

“Thank you for breakfast”, you joke, as you cross your arms.

 

“Oh, my pleasure..were my services to your liking?” She jokes back.

 

You chuckle, grasping the double meaning. “Yeah..absolutely”, your eyes lowering. 

 

She goes to take your hand, but just takes one of your fingers between hers, playing with it sweetly. “Was it a date for you yesterday?” 

 

The blunt question throws you off guard. 

 

You look up at her, she’s looking at every trait of your face, your nose, your eyes, your mouth, how your lips part in bewilderment. She looks as if she’s never going to see you again and wants to memorize everything about you.

 

“Do you want it to be a date?” You ask back, knowing it isn’t fair, but you feel like you should know what she says first.

 

She smirks, “yes..and frankly it was one of the most beautiful dates we’ve ever had.”

 

She’s using the we and it makes your stomach flip. “It really was..”, you say softly and you see her releasing a nervous laugh, “..and we can always step up the game.”

 

“Mm, what do you have in mind?” She inquires curiously. 

 

“It stays in my mind for now. Just, don’t make plans for next weekend.” You say and she smiles coming into your space, placing a kiss on your cheek.

 

“I won’t make any plans, i’ll be yours”, she adds, keeping her mouth near your cheek. 

 

You turn your head and give her a kiss on the lips, surprising her. 

 

“See you”, she tells you and giggles, walking away from you. 

 

“Have a nice day”, you just watch her, that beautiful soul. 

 


 

You’ve been thinking about Laura non-stop for the next few days, and it’s a bit embarrassing to be honest. You feel like you’re back in your teens. 

 

Your mobile vibrates and it’s her dad calling you. Why is he calling you?

 

You get suddenly nervous, but answer straight away.

 

“Hello?” You pick up.

 

“Hi Carmilla, it’s Sherman..sorry, am i disturbing you?”

 

You were trying to write something for a new book, but your mind couldn’t focus too much. “No, no, go ahead and tell me..what’s going on?”

 

“Um..it’s about Laura. I know you’ve been going out lately and there wasn’t anyone else i could call..i mean, Carol, my partner, is at work and i need to get to work too in a bit..”, he pauses for a moment, to catch his breath, and you smile, recognizing how much Laura rambles just like him.

 

“..and, um, she was out for a run this morning and had an accident. I took her to the hospital and she sprained her ankle, so she can’t really do much. I was wondering if you could watch her this afternoon and maybe get her something to eat..” He stops, you can hear his nervous breathing waiting for an answer.

 

“Y-yeah..i can come over right now. I need to work a bit, but i can do it from there too. Is it ok if I'll be there in 20 minutes?”

 

No way you could say no to that.

 

“Absolutely..you’re an angel Carmilla! Thank you! Drive safe here!” You say bye to him and then close the call. 

 

You immediately pack your computer and notes and put on some more presentable clothes. Your daughter is at school, so you don’t have to worry about her for now. Right now, you’re worrying about your..what is she? Your..your..Laura. That’s it.

 

You ring the bell and the door opens right away. “Thank you again, Carmilla..i really need to go”, Sherman hugs you awkwardly on the steps and then leaves.

 

You get inside and go directly to the living room, where you think she is. And there she is, on the couch with a leg propped up. 

 

“Hey..well, look at you!” You say, as you move closer to her.

 

“Don’t look at me..”, her eyes tired and a bit down. 

 

“What happened here?” you ask, hoping not to upset her. 

 

“I was on my usual morning run..i do the same path almost every time i go out, so i know it..there’s a little staircase near the park, i didn’t see the last step..and that’s what happened.” She presses her lips together and readjusts herself on the couch. 

 

“I’m sorry..”, your voice is low. You put your arm on the back of the couch, near her head. You take some strands of her hair between your fingers and play with them delicately. She seems to find that comforting, you see her melting into that touch.

 

“Thank you”, her eyes closed.

 

“For what?” You know what she means but it seems obvious to you. 

 

“For helping me or whatever..”, she flails her hands around. 

 

You tuck those strands of hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to thank me, Laura..i’m here because i want to be here.”

 

She puts her hand on your thigh, “yes i have to.”

 

That little gesture makes your stomach warm. She’s distracting you right now, you should write. 

 

“Maybe you can thank me later with one of your kisses?” You suggest.

 

A smug look on her face, “one of my kisses? Are they special?” 

 

You’d like to kiss that smug look away, right now, but it would probably make you lose time and make you even less concentrated. “You know they are”, you’re almost shy to say this. 

 

“That’s good to know”, she looks serious and she seems to be thinking something deeply.

 

“But i really need to do some work now..can i sit there?” You point to the table near the window. 

 

“Sure. I’ll be reading, so i won’t disturb you with the tv..or sleeping.” She smiles.

 

You get up and set everything down on the table. You need to end the chapter you had begun. After what feels like an hour or so, you found yourself shooting glances towards Laura. She can’t directly see you, she’d have to turn her head a bit. 

 

Her profile is beautiful, and seeing her there, in the place where she grew up in, and in the place where you would hang out together, makes you feel so many things. They are even kind of inspiring your writing right now.

 

You look at her again after a while, and you notice she has fallen asleep. And it hits you, again. 

 

She looks like home. 

 

You’ve made her lunch and resumed your work. It’s almost 3pm, you close your computer and join her on the couch. 

 

“Can i?” You ask, sitting down. 

 

She doesn’t really answer your question, “you have to go pick up Evelyn from school, right?”

 

“Yeah, i need to get going in a bit..why?” You’re a bit confused as to why she’s asking this. 

 

“Nothing..i just wanted you here..it’s ok though..”, she’s not looking you in the eyes. 

 

You find her so cute. You think for a moment. “Well..i can always come back here later..with Evelyn”, you clarify, hoping she doesn’t look annoyed that there’s going to be your daughter too. 

 

She grins widely and you find yourself doing the exact same thing. Almost like a mirror.

 

“I’d love that..but i’d love to kiss you now”, she tries to lean into you, but she struggles as she feels a stabbing pain. 

 

You lean into her, without saying a word and kiss her lips. She raises up a hand and cups your cheek, making you feel weak. 

 

“You know what this reminds me of?” You say as you draw back a bit.

 

Her gaze focussed attentively on your lips. “What?” she whispers.

 

“When we were going out the first times, and you weren’t out with your father yet..and we would kiss right on this couch.” You kiss her again, not letting her answer. She smiles into you and you love that.

 

“It’s better now”, she says once you let her catch her breath. 

 

“We’ve upgraded our kissing ability?” You joke. 

 

She laughs, “you’re an idiot. I was going to say something deep and serious and you ruined it.” 

 

You know how to get back on track, “well..you’ve certainly made me crush on you again, you know that, right?”

 

She looks dumbfounded for a moment, but then jokes too, “‘cause of my kissing ability?”

 

You love when she plays like that with you. “Absolutely”, you say closing your eyes and raising your eyebrows. “One of the many reasons..”, you add but you stand up, because you need to go.

 

“I’d like to know these reasons”, she says letting her head fall back on the couch, looking defeated. 

 

“You’ll have to wait. I’ll come back in an hour, is it ok? Do you have everything you need?” You put your bag on your shoulder. 

 

She sighs, “I just need you here later.”

 

You smile and crouch near her, “so clingy today”, and you plant a kiss on her lips. 

 


 

You’re in the kitchen with Sherman, making something for dinner together. Evelyn and Laura are in the living room. She’s helping your daughter doing her homework. 

 

All of this really feels right. 

 

Everything you’ve ever wanted.

 

You’re almost determined to say something to Laura. Maybe you’ll do it later.

 

Dinner is so familiar you could cry. Everyone is smiling and laughing, and you love how Evelyn wanted to sit near Laura at all costs. 

 

“Laura, we need to wash that foot and apply that unguent the doctor told us.” Sherman says, coming into the living room, drying his hands on a cloth.

 

Laura grumbles and you jump in, “I’ll help her”, you say standing up. 

 

“Can i help her too?” Evelyn speaks up too, with soft eyes.

 

You shoot a glance at Laura, “you can apply the unguent if you want, but you really need to be delicate.” 

 

“Of course i’m delicate with Laura!” she says a bit loudly. Her phrasing makes all of you chuckle.

 

“Ok..i’ll call you in a bit, ok?” you say, helping Laura stand up. 

 

Evelyn just nods and waits there. You let Laura hold herself up on you, “remember not to put down that foot, eh!”

 

“I know, i know.”

 

“Ok, just sit on the toilet..”, you help her lower herself by keeping her by her hands, “..put your foot in here”, you gesture to the bidet. 

 

“Wow, we really look like an old couple trying to do basic living stuff”, she says, chuckling a bit. 

 

You shook your head smiling, “oh, shut up. I’m being the perfect partner.”

 

“I don’t have anything to say against that”, you look up at her and she has a smug look on her face. 

 

“Ok, your foot doesn’t smell anymore. You’re welcome.” You’re drying it with a towel, using the softest touch ever. 

 

“I think you really are the perfect partner”, you don’t know if she’s joking, imitating your last retort, or if she’s being deadly serious. You hope for the latter, and you want to ask her about it, but your process of thoughts is interrupted when Evelyn shouts from downstairs, “can i come up?”

 

Laura holds herself up onto you again, “yeah!”, she shouts back at your daughter. You’re heading towards her bedroom and Evelyn pops up, opening the door for you. You gently put Laura onto the bed and you let your daughter sit at the foot of the bed. 

 

“Remember, you need to be soft, do not push or press on her skin, ok?” You tell her, squeezing a bit of unguent on her hand. 

 

Laura rests her head onto the pillow, while Evelyn tries to be as gentle as possible, and she actually is. “Is everything ok?”, she asks Laura. 

 

Laura smiles at her and nods. She then extends her arm, looking for you. You’re surprised by her action, but you sit near her anyway. Her eyes look a bit tired and you want to let her rest. “We’ll leave in a moment..you need to sleep”, you say as you take her hand in yours.

 

Evelyn is still softly spreading that salve on her ankle. “I know..but come here a moment”, Laura says putting one arm on your shoulder to drag you towards her. 

 

You’re still taken aback by how she’s behaving, she’s never done this in front of your daughter. You let yourself fall on her, your head pressed onto the pillow, near her face. You’re enveloped by her smell and can’t really complain. 

 

She turns her head and buries it in the crook of your neck, “can i give you a kiss?” she whispers and you know she means ‘ can i give you a kiss in front of your daughter? ’. 

 

You suddenly get all tingly, you love how she wants you to always be comfortable. 

 

“Next time i’ll cover you with kisses..but yes you can”, you whisper into her neck, and she giggles. How you love that sound.

 

“Ok, i finished..was i good?” Evelyn asks you both. 

 

“I didn’t feel a thing, so you were phenomenal”, Laura says, and you pull away from her. Evelyn laughs and goes to wash her hands. 

 

Once she is back you tell her to say bye to Laura because you’re going home. She goes and gives her a kiss on the cheek. You lean into her too and she kisses you on the lips. Your cheeks getting a bit red, when Evelyn exclaims “you two are cute.”

 

You notice Laura’s cheeks turn red too and you smile back at her, “Goodnight, Laura.”

 

During the ride back home, you grow curious as to what your daughter thinks. Mostly what she thinks about Laura, but also if she has anything to say about what she just witnessed.

 

“You’ve been really good with Laura before..she’ll recover soon”, you try to start the conversation.

 

She gets pulled out of her thoughts by your voice, “i hope that..i want to go to the park with her too.”

 

“You definitely will. I might have to still come here and help her again, since she can’t do really much..”, you shoot a glance at her to see how she reacts.

 

She looks deep in thought, “well, why can’t she come to our place?”

 

You’re a bit shocked, you actually hadn’t thought about that and you wonder why, right now. That could be the best solution. “You’re right, i’ll ask her about it..is it ok for you if she stays with us?”

 

She mocks an offended face and you laugh, “of course i’m ok! I like her and i like seeing you and her together.”

 

Your heart picks up its rate, “is that why you told us we were cute before?”

 

“Yes, and you always smile when you’re with her, so..of course i like her.” You want to hug her so much right now, but you can’t, you’ll surely do it later.

 


 

Two days have passed since that, and you’d like to see her, but you don’t want to disturb her. She really needs to be resting. You remember it was going to be today the date you had planned, but it can definitely wait. You just had breakfast and you’re on the couch reading something, while your daughter watches cartoons. 

 

You hear your mobile vibrate on the little table.

 

Laura(9:10am): hey, it’s sunday today. It’s the weekend.

 

Carmilla(9:13am): i’m aware. We had a date, am I right?

 

Laura(9:15am): yep. So, what are we doing?

 

Carmilla(9:19am): um, nothing? You sprained your ankle, cutie. No fun for you.

 

Laura(9:24am): but i need to see youuu :(

 

You could go to her place tonight, your brother had told you that he could stay with Evelyn in the evening. 

 

Carmilla(9:29am): i could come by after dinner..?

 

Laura(9:32am): yes yes yes. Will you be alone?

 

Carmilla(9:35am): yes..I, too, need some alone time with you.

 

You smile looking at your mobile, and hope she does the same.

 

Your day hasn’t been particularly busy, you just stayed home with your daughter doing whatever she suggested. But now, you can’t wait to be at Laura’s place, you want to know how she is and spend some time with her. 

 

As you reach her place, you see Sherman taking out the garbage. You approach him, “good evening Sherman”, and he immediately smiles widely at you. Just as his daughter always does.

 

“Hi Carmilla..how are you?” 

 

“Everything is fine..you?”

 

“Ah, good good..can i have your confirmation?” He suddenly speaks in a low voice.

 

You’re confused, “about what?”

 

“You and Laura..are you still a thing, right?” He looks hopeful.

 

You don’t really know what you are right now, but you answer anyway, “we’re dating, but i don’t know..wait, why are you asking?”

 

“I just noticed how happy she is lately..and when she goes out she is often with you, so i kind of figured, you know..” You’re both outside the front door, he stops there.

 

“Yeah..well, there are still some things we need to figure out..”, you start but he cuts you off, “i’m sure, i’m sure, i just wanted to..well, just don’t worry about me..you two have my blessing on everything, kids and everything..not that you need it anyway, but it’s just to tell you that i’m rooting for you.”

 

You smile at him, the way he talks and gestures his hands around, it’s like watching an older Laura and it warms your heart. 

 

“Well, i have the best father-in-law.” You tell him as you enter the house and he winks at you. 

 

“Look who’s here!” He exclaims once you’re inside. Laura’s on the couch, as you expected, in her pajamas. Lovely as always. You lock eyes with her and feel a burning in your chest. You want to hug her, and kiss her and cuddle her, but you have to wait. 

 

“Hey there”, you say as you sit right next to her.

 

“Hi..thank god you’re finally here. He won’t stop speaking about pool, his new sport discovery.” She places a hand on your thigh, while speaking. 

 

“Don’t make fun of me!” He says extending his arm in the air and pointing a finger at Laura. 

 

“I’m not, but the game is just boring as hell!” You agree with her, but you don’t speak your thought, it’s just so entertaining to see them bicker. 

 

“Hell is where i’ll send you if you don’t leave me alone to watch my stupid sport discovery and go upstairs with your lovely, unlike you, guest!” He sits down with a thud on his armchair.

 

Laura looks at him with an unimpressed face. “That does sound like a threat I will gladly and easily avoid, without effort too.”

 

You help her get up and climb the stairs together, “how’s your ankle?” 

 

“Better..i still haven’t put on my unguent tonight”, she sits on her bed and asks you to close the door and you comply.

 

“I’m here for something, am i?” You joke, as you take care of her ankle. 

 

Once you’re done, you take off your shoes and sit right next to her. Again, this feels like that night at your place (when you had sex) when she said “we haven’t done this in a while”, but your thoughts are interrupted as she takes your hand and kisses you on the cheek. 

 

You move your head, you really need to kiss her right now, so her lips land on yours. She smiles into it and you deepen the kiss, your hand through her hair. 

 

You both draw back after a while and just look at each other in the eyes.

 

“This is nice.” She looks at your mouth and then up into your dark eyes.

 

“What is?” You really don’t know what she means.

 

She tilts her head, “having you here..it’s nice”, she looks down now, shyly. 

 

“It is for me too..”, you can’t say much more. 

 

“Even though we’ll have to wait a bit to have proper fun..”, she almost drawls, and you unexpectedly don’t catch what she’s implying. You frown and she speaks again, “..i mean, i can’t really have sex like this”, pressing her lips together.

 

You didn’t grasp an innuendo. Wow, you’re really gone. Your mind really isn’t working correctly, but you know why, there are some things obstructing it. The sooner you let them out, the sooner you’ll be completely you again.

 

“Mm..well, maybe we can find a way around it”, you’re feeling a bit proud of yourself, right now.

 

She smirks and places a kiss under your chin, “you always have the solution for everything, uh?” She keeps peppering kisses right there and then continues, “can you show me this way around it?”

 

She takes your right hand and guides it on her thighs, on the inside of her left one, and then goes a little bit higher, between her thighs, until she presses on your hand, to let you know what she wants.

 

You’re a bit surprised, you certainly didn’t mean right now. “Laura, now?”

 

“Yeah..why?” 

 

“Your dad’s downstairs, Laura..and we’re not seventeen anymore..” Your hand is still planted between her legs, unmoving.

 

“So? I want you..and besides, i can be quiet..you know that.” This sends a chill down your spine, a good chill. And you feel your lower belly get warm. Her words are enough to not make you think twice about it. 

 

You plant your mouth on hers, and hear her let out a small “mm”, that makes you want her even more.

 

Your right hand starts moving slowly, just over her pajamas. You slide your fingers underneath it and massage her on her underwear. You can feel that she’s already a bit damp. She really wants you then.

 

“Are you sure you can keep it quiet?” You say, as you trace the length of her pussy with just one finger. 

 

She squirms a bit, “I’ll try to.”

 

You don’t stop your movement, “Laura, do you really want your father to catch us while I have two fingers in you?”

 

“No..shit, wait a second”, she takes your hand away and starts moving around a bit. You’re confused, “what are you doing?”

 

She tries to pull down the blanket. You smirk, but don’t move, “so you are a little bit scared, uh?”

 

“Please, Carm..”, her tone is demanding and desperate, you love when she’s like that. 

 

You do what she was trying to do and get both of you under the blanket. “It’s just a preventive measure”, she says smugly once you’ve adjusted yourselves.

 

You chuckle, finding her even cuter. “So, can i take care of you now?”

 

“Kiss me”, you do as she says and put your hand on her breast, squeezing lightly. Your hand goes down and you lift her shirt, you feel her stomach retract when your fingers touch her. “Cold hand..”, she explains and laughs a bit, “..but it’s the only hand i want.”

 

Your heart skips a bit. These little tidbits keep making you think that she’s really into you. Into you like you are into her. 

 

You go down and surprise her, sliding your fingers down her underwear, feeling the wetness there. 

 

She moans, and it’s a bit loud, probably not expecting that action from you so soon. She brings her hand up and covers her mouth. “Who said they could be quiet?”, you say pressing a kiss on her hand, still on her mouth. Once she removes it, she blushes hardly.

 

“You really don’t know how much i love it when you blush..it’s like you’re trying to draw me in..” You say, and at the same time, you feel her pussy pulsate. Your words had some effect on her, you think, looking at her smirking.

 

She moans again, this time it’s really faint, “keep doing that”, she tells you whispering. So you keep drawing circles on her clit, with the same pace.

 

Her hand flies back onto her mouth, to muffle her sounds. You slow down your movements until you stop completely and she huffs displeased. “If you keep quiet, there will be a surprise later”, you speak softly.

 

She spreads out her unharmed leg even further and you love how impatient she is.

 

You resume your movements and she’s really soaked now. She arches her back and lets her head fall back. “Do you want to come now?”, you ask gently into her ear.

 

She doesn’t answer you, she grips the sheets tightly with both her hands and lets herself go over the edge. She trembles, but she’s keeping it down, her head now buried into your neck.

 

Once she has come down off those pleasuring waves, she hugs you and keeps her head there and you do the same.

 

“Everything good?”, you ask her after some moments of pure silence.

 

“Yeah..Carm..”, she mumbles into you, “..your touch..” She pauses, maybe she wants you to say something, but you don’t know what she means.

 

“My touch?”, you ask.

 

“I’ve been lusting after it..searching it in other people..”, you suddenly blush, what is she going to say? Does she feel the same way as you? “..i’m sorry i left you, i never wanted to..i did, but i never wanted to.”

 

“Stop apologizing. I’m not punishing you for it or anything..it’s ok. Really.” you reassure her, caressing her hair.

 

A sound startles both of you, but then Laura adds “it’s my dad, he’s probably fallen asleep and his book just fell down..it always happens.” 

 

You don’t say anything, you just let yourself be surrounded by her smell.

 

“Can we stay like this for a while?” She asks you, almost timidly.

 

“Of course”, you readjust yourself to hug her even more and you pull up the blanket completely, covering you both. Laura falls asleep after a bit; you on the other hand are not able to, there are so many thoughts floating in your head. There was something you really needed to tell her tonight, but it’ll have to wait.

 

It’s getting late, you should go back home, but you don’t want to wake Laura up, so you try to detach yourself from her, as softly as you can. 

 

You decide to leave her a note.

 

I didn’t want to wake you up, I had to go home. Sorry :(

Hope to see your pretty face soon!

 

Goodnight <3

 

The next day, she sends you a text early in the morning.

Laura(7:15am): it’s just too good to sleep with you again! Thank you for yesterday <3

Laura(7:19am): btw, where’s my surprise?

 

Carmilla(7:32am): you slept, that’s your fault! anyway you’ll still have to wait u.u

 


 

Three weeks have passed and Laura can finally walk normally again. Her birthday is coming up in a couple of days and you’re stressing out because you haven’t thought of a birthday present yet and that other thing is still bugging you out.

 

You really need to muster the courage, Laura has been away from you for so long, she has to know.

 

Just as you’re thinking about this, you get a message from her, inviting you for a drink to celebrate her birthday with some other friends. You tell her you’ll be there, even though you’ll be able to stay there just for a while. Your mom is abroad and Will, who has accepted to be with Evelyn that night, has told you that they changed his working schedule and he’ll have to go to work at some point.

 

You’ll be able to stay at the party for an hour or so. You’re trying to be positive.

 

Five days later, Laura’s birthday, you’re walking towards the bar she told you about. Stress is really eating you alive, but you can’t wait to see her.

 

As you get in, you’re almost startled by the loud music. You look around and see a jumping Laura headed towards you, the biggest smile appearing on your face. You catch her in a hug as she reaches you, “hey cutie.”

 

“Carm..i’m so happy you’re here!” She tells you, still hugging you.

 

You don’t know if you should kiss her, maybe she hasn’t said anything about you two to her friends, so you decide to follow her lead. She takes your hand and pulls you towards a table, where other people are seated.

 

You both sit down and she still has your hand in hers. You find that lovely. All of her friends have noticed that, and you’re blushing a bit.

 

“So, Laura, are we dancing?”, one of her colleagues asks.

 

“Oh, right, absolutely”, she stands up and takes you with her.

 

When you’re both on the dancefloor you look at her, a displeased look on your face.

 

“What?” she laughs.

 

“Dancing? Again?”

 

“Yes. Dancing. Again. With me”, she says firmly. “You don’t want to tell me the famous surprise, so..put up with this”, she looks smugly at you.

 

“Still hang on to that?” You joke, you perfectly know she has every reason to be like this. She wants to know, and you’d want to know too if you were in her position. 

 

“Uuuh..Carmilla, it’s been three weeks, give me a break.” 

 

You press your lips together, “you’re right..when’s the right moment i will.”

 

“Ok”, she just says, and she presses a quick kiss on your cheek. You dance for a while together, her hands travelling around your body, making you weak at every touch. After that, you sit down at the table to drink something, until it’s time for you to go home, unfortunately.

 

You’re coming back from the bathroom and she’s just standing there near the table with a drink she just ordered in her hand, probably waiting for her colleagues to join her back. You approach her and put your bag on your shoulder. “I have to go now, but..”, you start but you’re cut off by her coming into your space and telling you, “but, i need to see you soon.”

 

You just smile softly at her, and she looks down, blushing. “I mean, do you want to see me..maybe in a couple of days?”, she asks.

 

“Yes, i do..”, you chuckle, “..have fun tonight, ok?” You hug her, moving her hair away, putting it behind her shoulders. She still has her drink in one hand, so she’s reciprocating the hug with just one arm and she dives her face into your neck.

 

You draw back from her and start to head for the door, but you come back to her, “oh, i forgot something.” She makes a confused face, and as you reach her, you lean into her, telling her into her ear “I’m still in love with you.”

 

You quickly shoot a glance at her as you pull back, your lips curving up a bit, until just in that moment, her friends join her and drag her to something she has to play, probably some game organized for her birthday.

 

You leave for real this time. You’re surprised by yourself, you weren’t planning to tell her like that, but it was becoming unbearable to keep it to yourself alone. She had to know. But you’re still scared, scared of what she thinks, of what she wants, of her not wanting you in the same way you want her.

 

You’re home, your daughter has been sleeping for an hour or so, and you’re still turning those thoughts over in your mind. 

 

You decide to read something to distract you a bit, but you find it difficult. As you get up to drink a glass of water, you hear your phone vibrate. You look who it is.

 

Laura(11:40pm): please tell me you’re still awake..open the door if you are. I’m right outside

 

You suddenly start to get nervous. What is she going to tell you?

 

You head towards the door and open it. As you do, she enters without you telling her. She goes to the couch, but quickly stops and turns around. She looks lost for words, so you take all the courage you have and get closer, taking her hand in yours.

 

“Laura..”, you start, but she unexpectedly cuts you off, “was that the surprise you’ve been telling me about?”, she asks, and you realize you’re holding your breath.

 

You look down, “yeah..it was..i’m sorry, that wasn’t really the way i intended it to tell you, but i couldn’t take it anymore.”

 

“I’m still in love with you too”, she abruptly says. 

 

For a brief moment you don’t feel a thing, you don’t even realize what she has just said, you just look up at her with incredulous eyes. But then she cups your face with both her hands, “i mean it, i love you too, Carmilla.”

 

You feel it in your stomach, then in your throat, and you can’t keep it in. You burst into tears, again. And again, you feel ashamed for how much you’re letting yourself go. But you don’t feel shame because Laura is in front of you, you feel shame for yourself, for how much these things are affecting you. Deep down you know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, and you’re working on trying to accept it.

 

That’s why Laura is here, she’s helping you accept yourself.

 

You sit down on the couch, still crying, Laura’s standing right in front of you, her hands in yours.

 

You hear a door opening, and you immediately try to compose yourself. “Mom?”, your daughter appears in the living room, rubbing her eyes.

 

She comes near you, “mom..why are you crying?”

 

You don’t even know why, but the question makes you cry even more. Laura sits on your side, keeping her hand in yours, and with her other hand she gently strokes your leg.

 

"Your mom is crying because I told her I love her." Laura says, placing a kiss on your hand.

 

Evelyn makes a confused and sleepy face, “but that’s a good thing, right?”

 

You dry your eyes, as best as you can, and try to explain the situation to your daughter. She has every right to know. “Yes, that’s a good thing..but, as i told you, we’ve been apart for a really long time..i missed her, and now she’s back. I’m just crying because i’m happy..”

 

Evelyn crouches in front of you, “so, she can stay here with us?”

 

Laura shoots a glance at you, and you’re surprised by the question too. “Here? What do you mean?”

 

“Can she stay with us in our home?” She hasn’t really cleared up what you wanted to know.

 

“You want her to live with us? Here?”, you ask again. Laura is still stroking lightly your leg and you find that adorable.

 

“Yes!”, she exclaims.

 

You turn your head towards Laura, “we should ask her then..do you want to?”, you ask almost shyly.

 

“I’d love that”, she says and your heart skips a beat. “Great”, Evelyn shouts, she stands up to give Laura a kiss and to you too, and then goes back to her room.

 

You chuckle at that, but Laura suddenly leans into you and kisses you on the lips. “Thank you”, she whispers against them, until she kisses you passionately. Your mind goes blank and all you can feel is..Laura.

 

Once you draw back, you touch her lips with your fingers, stopping her from kissing you. “I still need to ask you something..remember i had told you that when i had Evelyn, i did that because i wanted a child, and i wanted it with you..”, she cuts you off with another quick peck on your lips.

 

“Yes Carmilla..if you want it and Evelyn wants it, i want to be her other mother.”

 

Your lips curve up into a big grin. “You’re so pretty when you smile”, she tells you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

 

“I want it Laura..i guess that’s pretty clear..”, you chuckle, “..so, you’re not planning on leaving and going to places that are galaxies away from me?”

 

Laura looks intensely at you, “you are my favorite place in the universe. You. Always have been.”

 

Your smile gets even bigger, “so, since i’m your favorite place, would you like to stay the night?”

 

She makes a contemplative face, “mm, only if you cuddle with me.”

 

You laugh, “you know that will happen, so you could have straight out said ‘yes’”, you smugly say as you stand up. “Are you coming?”, you ask, extending your hand to her.

 

She looks at it and then up at you, “yes”, she grabs your hand and runs taking you with her to your bedroom.