Today was the day. Andy had finally decided that enough was enough, and today was the day she was going to ask Miranda to go out on a date. They were friends, good friends, but she couldn’t help but long for something more than that.
It wasn’t soon after she finished her year long tenure with Miranda that she got her job at the Mirror, and the two of them struck up an unlikely friendship. First it started with getting coffee together every once and awhile, Then Miranda would call her late after work and they’d share a Night cap, Miranda would edit the book and Andy would work on her articles. Sometimes Miranda would ask her opinion and sometimes she would offer to read what Andy had wrote.
She always left every meeting feeling uplifted and happy. Happier than she had felt in a very long time. The twins began asking her to spend time with them too, and she was desperate for their approval. She got it, and that seemed to make Miranda call on her more and more.
Andy never wanted anything as desperately as she wanted Miranda. She had given up everything for her, and if she backed down now it would all be for nothing.
She climbed the steps to the townhouse, sudden;y feeling more self conscious than she ever had felt in Miranda’s presence before. Being Miranda’s friend was one thing, but hoping to date her meant she had to be on an entirely different level, she was sure of it. She wanted to be good enough.
Andy took a deep breath, pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders and knocked softly on the door. The wind whistled around her in the silence and she shivered. Several seconds later the door opened to reveal the woman of her dreams.
Miranda’s brows furrowed, and immediately Andy’s heart dropped.
“Oh, you don’t want to see me.” Andy turned but before she could take a step Miranda grabbed her arm and pulled her into the house, closing the door behind them.
“I never said that.”
“Your face did.”
“No Andrea, it didn’t. I was worried we had something planned and that I had forgotten about it. I would have been incredibly displeased with myself, had I stood you up.”
Andy bit her lip, how could she look so beautiful even when disappointed.
“Indeed. What do I owe the pleasure of your company?”
Andy looked at the floor. Every time she saw her, Miranda looked even more beautiful than she remembered. Even in only jeans and a loose cashmere sweater she made Andy forget how to think, how to breathe.
“I just- well I wanted-” Andy tripped over her words, as Miranda looked at her expectantly. “I- well. I just wanted to see you.”
Miranda blinked, her hands moving to fidget with the bottom of her sweater. The lights above their heads flickered.
“You wanted to see me ? No favour or questions or anything?” Miranda asked incredulously.
Now it was Andy’s turn to be confused.
“Miranda, why do you think I spend time with you?”
“Well- I suppose because you like to get my opinion on your writing and- maybe you don’t have anyone better to spend your time with.”
Her voice grew quiet.
Andy shook her head.
“Miranda- is it so hard to believe I actually really enjoy the time I spend with you? Before my friends gave up on me, I would regularly turn them down to visit with you.”
Miranda was quiet for a moment, as the lights flickered again.
Andy sighed, Miranda seemed uncomfortable. She shouldn’t have come.
“I’m sorry that I came without calling. I should have asked.”
Andy turned back towards the door, her heart heavy.
“Andrea you can’t go back out there, it’s freezing and there’s a blizzard warning on for the rest of the weekend. The girls are trapped with their father, all the flights have been grounded. If you are amenable, I would like it very much if I didn’t have to spend the next few hours alone.”
Andy froze- turning slowly back towards Miranda.
“Are you sure? I know how much you value your alone time-”
“But I value my time with you so much more.”
Andy’s heart beat loudly in her chest. Miranda liked spending time with her.
“You’re one of- if not my only- best friend.” Miranda added.
Andy sighed. Right,, friends- nothing more.
And with that the wind outside whistled loudly as it blew around the house, the lights flickered one last time before dropping them in complete pitch darkness.
“Do you have any candles maybe?”
They sat quietly side by side in Miranda’s office drinking wine, candles lit on every surface that wouldn’t catch on fire. Andy couldn’t help but stare at the way the candle light flickered and glowed amber, shadows moving across her face.
Miranda cleared her throat.
Andy tightened her arms around herself, it was a big house and it was starting to get cold.
“I hope you don’t mind that we are up here in the office instead of downstairs in the living room. I don’t ever go in there when the girls aren’t home- the house is just so big-”
Andy placed a hand on Miranda’s thigh.
“Hey- you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s okay.”
Miranda bit her lip and glanced down at the hand on her thigh. Carefully she placed her own on top of Andy’s and sighed.
Andy smiled, and watched as Miranda took a sip of her wine, watching the movement of her throat as she swallowed and shivered.
Miranda nodded reluctantly.
Andy smiled shyly before wrapping an arm around Miranda and pulling her closer. Miranda lifted her feet up onto the couch, and tucked them under herself, curling into Andy.
Andy’s heart fluttered in her chest as she felt the weight of Miranda’s head fall just above her breast, and her silky strands of hair brushing against her neck and jaw. The soft puff of breath hitting her skin as Miranda shifted into place told her the feeling was probably mutual.
Andy squeezed Miranda’s body into hers reassuringly.
“Is this- is this okay?”
Miranda sighed and nodded. Slowly she wrapped her own arm around Andy’s waist. Cautiously she slid her hand past the hem of Andy’s shirt and around her waist, smoothing her thumb over Andy’s skin.
Andy took a breath. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She felt drunk on Miranda’s smell, and touch. She could die happy like this, gently she leaned down and pressed a kiss to Miranda’s hair line. Miranda froze.
Then suddenly Miranda moved her hand away and Andy’s heart shrank. She closed her eyes and waited for Miranda to tell her to get away. But instead Miranda reached over and took another sip of her wine.
As she put down the glass, Andy noticed a drop on her lip. Gently she cupped her cheek, wipe her thumb along Miranda’s bottom lip.
Miranda looked up at her with her big blue eyes and something in Andy broke.
She smoothed her thumb over Miranda’s lip one more time, before closing the space between them and brushing her lips against Miranda’s, once, then twice. The third time Miranda wrapped her arm around Andy’s neck and kissed back, whimpering so softly Andy thought she might have imagined it.
Lips became acquainted, then tongues and Andy’s hands were shaking. Miranda was pulling gently at Andy’s hair, clutching her like a lifeline.
When they parted, Miranda let go of a shuddering breath.
“Was that okay?” Andy whispered.
Miranda only nodded, curling back into her position. Andy felt the tears before she saw them.
“Hey- what’s wrong?” Andy asked softly, tipping Miranda’s face to look up at her.
Andy wiped her tears.
“I can’t- believe this is happening. That you’re here, and you- I just-”
“What can I do?”
Andy pulled Miranda into her arms again, squeezing tighter than before.
“I know you think you’re unlovable, and impossible but Miranda, but you aren’t-” Andy paused.
“Okay, maybe you’re a little impossible, but that’s what I love about you-”
Miranda sat up straight, her eyes finding Andy’s again.
“You love me?”
“More than anything, more than I thought possible.”
Miranda’s eyes widened, and immediately Andy panicked and back peddled.
“Well- I mean, unless you don’t want that-”
Miranda clutched at her.
“Please don’t take it back- don’t you dare. My heart-”
Andy wrapped her arms around Miranda’s small frame again.
“I’d never take it back. It’s the truth.” Andy soothed.
Miranda relaxed into Andy’s arms again.
“My heart is yours.”
Andy smiled brightly, and squeezed Miranda reassuringly.
“I’ll take good care of it.”
Miranda gently kissed Andy’s throat.
“I know you will.