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You're My Painkiller

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You're my painkiller
When my brain gets bitter
You keep me close
You keep me close

Beca has had a rough week. She was in a bitter mood. First of all, the weather made her feel miserable, with the grey skies looming over Barden and dark rain clouds threatening to pour down all week. Secondly, she had woken up late, missing her first two morning classes. This led to her father calling her and giving her a lecture that she has heard way too many times over the years she's been in Barden. At least she isn't as bad as her freshman self, going to most of her classes now that she's a senior.

Thirdly, Chloe has been stressing her out during rehearsals and the redhead is putting way too much pressure on the younger girl. She’s unable to think of a new set and she’s unable to think of anything original to give to Residual Heat. She feels like a failure, unable to come up with song lyrics or compositions. Her head is pounding, and she feels as if it's about to kill her. Finally, the reasons as to why she has had a rough week was because Jesse had broken up with her. Over text. Over when he was in LA and she was in Atlanta. Why? Because the long distance wasn't working. She knew it was coming. She knew their relationship was slowly withering away. She actually wasn’t that sad about it. But it still piled up onto her emotions. So Beca has been suffering the shittiest days. She hasn’t told any of the Bella’s about Jesse or the internship. So, no one knows she’s struggling to keep up with everything. All she wants to do is to relax. Sleep in. Take a break. Anything to keep her mind away from things that has been killing her all week.

She trudges her way back from Residual Heat, feeling worn out. Beca had decided that since today is a Friday night, no one would be home. This meant that she could relax in peace, alone without the girls making her headache worse. As much as she loves them, sometimes they can be a bit much. Especially when everyone is together. It’s almost always recipe for disaster. Friday nights we her favourite. Most of the Bella’s were out to party. She unlocks the door and is met with silence. She lets out a sigh of relief and drags herself upstairs to her shared room with Amy. She takes out her laptop from her bag before tossing the bag somewhere into the shared walk in closet. She then puts her laptop on charge before going to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower.

She feels more relaxed after her shower, settling down onto her bed and laying there, staring up at the ceiling. Just as she’s about to doze off, she faintly hears the front door open.

“Hello?” Beca easily recognises the voice to be Emily’s. Emily Junk. The other reason why Beca wasn’t mad about her break up with Jesse. Why? Because Beca just had to fall for the younger girl. Ever since she met her at the party, Beca first had a crush. But what she didn’t expect was to suddenly fall for her. Beca loved how Emily was always smiling and laughing. How she seemed to light up the room with her presence. She loved how Emily made cute and adorable faces when she was confused or when she is concentrated on studying and she’s thinking. She found herself unconsciously looking at the other girl during rehearsals and finding her in the middle of a crowded party. But of course, Beca couldn’t just tell her or anyone that. “Hello?”

Beca begrudgingly pushes herself off her bed and walks down the stairs to see Emily, wandering around the house. “Hey Em.”

Her eyes visibly light up at the sight of Beca and she walks over to the younger girl, wrapping her up in a tight hug. Another reason why Beca likes Emily, her hugs were always comforting. Beca found herself relaxing in the younger girl’s embrace, wrapping her arms around Emily and almost slouching into her, breathing in her sweet scent of vanilla.

“Hey Becs. Are you okay?” Beca wants to say she is, but she finds herself shaking her head and Emily is for once confused. Beca never accepts hugs, and if she does, she’s awkward about it and breaks the hug in less than 5 seconds. “Um, okay. How about we move to the couch.”

Beca nods but doesn’t let go. So, Emily does an awkward shuffle with Beca until they’re on the couch. She makes herself and Beca comfortable before looking at the older girl. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Beca lets out a big sigh and reluctantly removes herself from Emily’s embrace, immediately missing the warmth. “I’ve had a shitty week.”

Emily listens intently as Beca rants on about everything that’s happened to her this week, more surprised over Jesse breaking up with her than the internship. No wonder the smaller girl looked so stressed. Once Beca finally got everything out, she collapses back into Emily’s arms, suddenly feeling tired. “Sorry if I just suddenly dumped everything on you. You probably weren’t expecting that when you came in. Who were you looking for? Stacie? Cause they’re all out at some club I think.”

Emily shakes her head. “I was… um… looking for you.”

Beca looks up at the younger girl in curiosity. “Why?”

“Well for one, I can’t go out to clubs yet. And I kind of got bored in my dorm so I thought I’d come over.” Emily shrugs, leaving out the fact that she wanted to see Beca and spend time with her.

“I could’ve been at the club with the girls.” Emily gave her a look that said that she knows better and Beca rolls her eyes. “Whatever, but I could’ve been asleep or something.”

“I know from Stacie that you don’t sleep until the early hours of the morning.” Emily grins and Beca huffs.

“Fine, whatever. So, I’ve been caught. But I’m like, the most boring person ever. You could’ve hung out with Benji. What’s with you two anyway?” Beca smirks slightly and Emily shakes her head.

“I mean, he’s cute and nice. But he’s more of a friend. Plus, hanging out with you isn’t boring. You’re like… cool.” Emily goes a little red when Beca raises an eyebrow.


“Yeah, I mean. You’re just good at everything and your mixes are incredible!” Emily gushes and Beca huffs.

“Well that’s not what my boss said.” Emily pouts when Beca looks down at their hands that had joined together at some point. Emily squeezes her hand slightly in reassurance.

“Hey, your mixes are great but it’s not something that he’s looking for. But that’s okay. You’ll eventually find something that he will love! You always do. Inspiration sometimes comes out of nowhere and when it does, you will do something great with it.” Emily grins and Beca returns a smaller smile. Emily then removes her hands from Beca’s and stands up. Beca looks up at the taller girl in confusion when a hand is held out towards her.

“Where are we going?”

“We are going to grab a bunch of snacks and watch a movie.” Beca groans but takes Emily’s hand anyway and stands up, both walking to the kitchen. “Maybe we can watch a tv show instead since you don’t like movies.”

“Okay then. We can go up to my room and watch on my laptop.” Beca reluctantly agrees and Emily jumps in excitement, both digging through the cupboards and grabbing chips and cookies as well as gummy bears. Emily grins when she sees a box of cereals and takes that too. Once their arms are full of snacks, they make their way up to Beca’s room, dumping food onto the bed. Beca grabs her laptop whilst Emily immediately jumps onto the bed and under the covers, surrounding herself with the food and making herself comfortable. Beca stands on the side of the bed. “Where am I going to sit?”

Emily looks around her and giggles, realising she never made space for Beca and shoves some food aside for the smaller girl to squish in. She pats the space next to her. “You can sit right here.”

Beca rolls her eyes and climbs over the food, making sure not to crush it as she makes herself comfortable. Emily then stares at Beca and Beca stares back in confusion. The younger girl looks up then back down at Beca. Beca does the same gesture before realising what Emily was looking at. She groans and gives her laptop to Emily. “Of fucking course.”

Emily giggles as she watches Beca dramatically slide off the bed to turn off the lights and returns to her spot next to Emily. “If we forgot anything else, I’m not the one moving next time.”

Emily nods and places the laptop between them, leaning back and slightly into Beca. She presses play on the movie whilst Beca opens a packet of gummy bears. Throughout the movie, Beca found herself paying attention more to Emily than the movie itself. Watching her reactions to the movie and finding her much more interesting. Emily feels Beca staring and faces her, looking at her in curiosity. Beca found her looking so cute that she felt herself leaning up until their faces were inches apart, feeling her warm breath hit her lips. She sees Emily’s eyes flicker down to her lips and takes that as a confirmation to close the gap. Emily let’s out a little squeak at the contact but relaxes immediately, returning the kiss. It was soft and gentle, both testing the waters.

To Beca’s surprise, Emily deepens the kiss by gently placing her hand on the back of Beca’s head and pulls her closer, tangling her fingers within her hair. Beca melts under Emily’s touch, throwing one arm over the younger girl’s middle and moving closer. Eventually they break the kiss, leaning their foreheads together as they catch their breath. Beca finds herself smiling uncontrollably at Emily’s sweet but happy grin.

“So, if you couldn’t tell from that. I really like you.” Beca whispers and Emily giggles.

“I don’t think I really got that. I think you need to run that by me again.” Beca rolls her eyes but happily complies, leaning in again to kiss Emily.

'Cause you're my painkiller
When my brain gets bitter
You keep me close
When I've been miserable
And it takes forever
To let my brain get better
You keep me close
You keep me close