Actions

Work Header

Sing! Idol

Chapter Text

aka. THE PROPER CARE & FEEDING OF BOYFRIENDS OR ANY OTHER FORM(S) OF PREFERENTIAL COMPANY

 


 

Carbonara à la Shim [Serves 21]

1 Grown men. Dial down on the amount of pasta if appetite is less voracious.

 

Ingredients list:

2 handfuls, or 1.5 lb of capellini pasta2

2 spaghetti, or capelli d’angelo can also be used. Up to individual preference.

2 eggs

1 wedge of Parmigiano-Reggiano

Grated black peppercorns

Salt

½ lb guanciale3

3 you can try with back bacon, but it’ll be harder to taste the magic that is rendered pork fat.

 

Instruments

1 pan (at least 12 inch)

1 pair of clean kitchen tongs 

1 pallet of strawberries4

4 highly important for the fate of this dish!

 


 

How to make Pasta Carbonara in a single pan

 

  1. Grate the Parmigiano until it fills a 100ml measuring cup. Set aside. 
  2. Slice the guanciale into small inch-long strips and fry in the pan. Set well-fried golden guanciale aside. 
  3. Do not wash the pan, or scrub off all the deliciously rendered pork fat.
  4. Remove 1 ’berry from the pallet of strawberries. Shove it into the creeping hands of any peskily interfering company in the kitchen and remove the cooked guanciale from their immediate vicinity. 
  5. Add water to your pan to deglaze the delicious pork fat, until it’s half-an inch deep. Bring to boil and add a pinch of salt. 
  6. Whilst waiting for the water to boil, separate the eggs into individual yolks, and whites. 
  7. To the boiling water, at pasta. Cook until al dente, or when any company you have tastes a (1) strand and declares it springy.
  8. Shove another (1) strawberry from the pallet into your company’s mouth, before they can devour any more of the pasta.
  9. Remove pasta from the pan. Retain a cup of the guanciale flavoured pasta water, and drain the rest.
  10. Retrieve the guanciale from its safe place to pour back into the pan. Slap any wandering hands coming near. 
  11. Toss in cooked pasta and warm for a minute on low heat with the cooked guanciale. Add reserved pasta water.
  12. Head off any potential interference to the next extremely time sensitive step by offering the remaining strawberries in the pallet to any company you might have.
  13. Add egg whites, ¾ of the grated Parmigiano and 2 pinches of black pepper (ideally freshly ground) to the warm pan and toss continuously. Do this away from the heat, otherwise you will get scrambled eggs with your pasta and also an offer from your company to eat that anyway, because whatever you make is always best, Changminnie.
  14. Keep tossing. It’s all in the wrist.
  15. When the Parmigiano is well-melted and incorporated into the pasta together with the egg whites to give a creamy concoction, plate into 2 serving bowls.
  16. Try not to shudder in horror if your company asks about the possibility of adding dairy cream to the pasta.
  17. Make a nest in the centre of each (2) pasta serving, with a slight indentation in the middle.
  18. Drop the unbroken egg yolk delicately into the indent. Repeat for other serving.
  19. Take the pallet of strawberries away, before your company has had their appetite spoilt. 
  20. Season with more black pepper and remaining grated Parmigiano. Serve at once. 

 

Break the yolk and mix well with still-warm pasta. Eat. 

Allow a smoky yolk-flavoured kiss to be pressed to your cheek (although utmost concentration on the meal should, of course, still be demanded).




 

-- THE END.