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unforgettable; (that's what you are)

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unforgettable, in every way

and forevermore, that's how you'll stay

 

"you want me to sing? "

 

okay, lisa knows that she's not a bad singer by any means. she can stay in tune better than the average person, can keep her tempo relatively steady and can harmonize pretty well when she's comfortable with a song.

 

that doesn't mean she's ready to perform a duet with chaeyoung any time soon, no matter if her girlfriend gives her puppy-dog eyes or not.

 

she'd be the first to admit that she's nowhere near chaeyoung's level vocally, just like chaeyoung would be the first person to say that lisa's dancing skills far outshine her own. neither of them are insecure about it, they know just about where their own and each other's talents lie. (okay, maybe they're a little self-deprecating about their weaknesses but that's beside the point).

 

lisa's not scared of singing, she just doesn't want to do it in front of dozens of cameras or large crowds of people.

 

kinda ironic for a professional musician.

 

- | -

 

they're lying in lisa's bed, partially because chaeyoung room is covered in piles of their laundry but mainly because they wanted to cuddle. 

 

it's moments like this that lisa enjoys the most. not the loud ones when they're on stage and she presses kisses to her shy girlfriend's cheek as she flushes red in front of tens of thousands of screaming fans. not the hot and heavy ones when her aforementioned shy girlfriend is on top of her and all lisa can see is stars (although, in all fairness, those moments typically get rather loud as well). unsurprisingly to anyone who knows her well enough, it's the soft moments that she cherishes, when they're intertwined, doing nothing at all of importance but doing it together. lisa's probably a hopeless romantic, and everyone in her life can vouch. it's kinda laughable that so many of their fans have such a hardened image of her when out of the four members, she's very clearly the most sentimental and sensitive.

 

she's petting lily's head, wondering how and when the kitten got so big so soon while chaeyoung starts absentmindedly humming. the older woman is sitting up, left leg bent to support the sketchbook in her hands as lisa lies against her right leg. the song is a familiar one, a jazzy tune that lisa hadn't heard until she met chaeyoung, who has a propensity for humming while doing any and everything. 

 

whether it's cooking, walking, drawing or even occasionally in her sleep, park chaeyoung is never not surrounded by music, often of her own creation. the songs tend to change depending on location, as lisa soon learns, much to her amusement. if she's cooking, you can more often than not hear tori kelly floating from the kitchen. top 40s pop tends to be saved for morning car rides while the 1975s usually make an appearance late in the afternoon. when they're cuddling in bed, however, chaeyoung seems to break out her jazz favorites, humming édith piaf or etta james as the sun disappears from the skyline.

 

lisa instantly recognizes the nat cole king song as one of her girlfriend's favorites for more reasons than that it's just a sweet song. it had been the song they had first danced to, not in rehearsals or evaluations for someone else but alone, in the kitchen of their new dorm. 

 

 

- | -

 

 

apparently, an unwritten rule of society is that while cooking pasta, one must always listen to frank sinatra, or so chaeyoung pretends to very seriously instruct lisa as she begins boiling water before docking her phone to the speaker beside the stove. the soft bassline and drumbeat of fly me to the moon flows through the room and lisa watches from her perch on the counter as her girlfriend dancing around the kitchen, surrounded by lyrics about space and all the things she wants of her lover.

 

chaeyoung's hair is red, a recent and abrupt choice that left lisa reeling when her girlfriend left the dorm with black locks but returned a redhead. it made sense why she had suddenly decided to change, they're set to debut in a few months' time and she won't be able to experiment with her appearance at all then. and unlike lisa's seemingly permanent platinum, chaeyoung has never tried dyeing her hair (discounting that one time she and jennie had tried dip-dyeing their hair pink with something from a drugstore in a bathroom once, which had gone horribly). but just like everything else that her girlfriend seems to do, it turns out amazingly and so obviously it suits her (although, with a face like hers, any color would) but lisa's still getting used to the color tangling between her fingers when she plays with chaeyoung's hair. 

 

as the noodles begin to boil, that's exactly what she does, pulling the older woman closer and snuggling into her neck as frank sinatra ends and another song beings. lisa's never heard it before, but chaeyoung recognizes it instantly, smiling broadly and singing along, so close that lisa can feel the vibrations it sends on her skin, sending goosebumps throughout her.

 

l is for the way you look at me

 

lisa hops off the counter when chaeyoung steps away to move the pot of freshly cooked pasta off the burner, grabbing her wrist as soon as their new dorm is no longer in danger of being set aflame and spinning her girlfriend around.

 

o  is for the only one i see

 

chaeyoung giggles (because of course she does, she's fucking adorable ) when lisa jokingly bends down, offering a hand towards the gorgeous woman in front of her who very graciously accepts, abandoning the noodles on the stove in favor of lacing their fingers together.

 

v  is very, very, extraordinary

 

"i'd offer you flowers but i don't have any," lisa laments as they sway back and forth for a second, feeling chaeyoung smile into her collarbone at the comment. her girlfriend pulls away to look into lisa's eyes, a sly grin slowly emerging across her lips before she speaks.

 

"that's okay, i'm holding the most beautiful flower in seoul right now."

 

lisa flushes bright red and chaeyoung laughs again.

 

e is even more than anyone that you adore

 

 

 

lisa's probably a hopeless romantic (not that she'd ever admit that out loud).

 

i mean, how could anyone who found their soulmate at sixteen not be?

 

it's moments like that seem to reaffirm her belief.

 

from her position laying her head against chaeyoung's leg, she can't see exactly what the older woman is doing but she can very clearly the sounds of pencil scratches alongside the soft humming of the nat king cole song that she'd like to consider theirs.

 

at some point, chaeyoung begins actually singing the words and eventually, lisa joins her, supplying harmonies that became second nature long ago. when the song ends, lisa expects her girlfriend to just continue the seemingly endless playlist of revolving music that she figures bounces around constantly in that beautiful brain of hers but chaeyoung stops, shifting upward on the bed to sit in a completely upright position with lisa's head resting on the top of her thighs.

 

lisa can see chaeyoung properly now, can see the crinkle between her eyebrows that appears when she's completely focused, can see the corners of her lips twitch as she juggles ideas in her mind. her hair is a mess, having been tied in a high ponytail at some point that began giving up and has been drooping for the last several hours. they've already washed their faces void of makeup (not that chaeyoung really wears any on days they don't have schedules) and she's wearing an oversized band tee combined with a pair of flannel pajama bottoms that are about seven sized too large. lisa, quite literally, wouldn't have it another way. she's never quite gotten used to the sight of chaeyoung in her bed- actually, more so to the sight of chaeyoung this close -and lisa's pretty sure she never will. 

 

"you're staring again," chaeyoung mumbles shyly her eyes never straying from the sketchbook still balanced on her left knee. lisa just smiles, not at all embarrassed at being called out for something that happens more often than not. 

 

she sits up, letting an affronted lily out of her grasp and watching the kitten hop off of her bed before sliding upwards and leaning back on the mattress's headboard. chaeyoung immediately responds, softly closing the sketchbook in favor of dropping her head down to rest directly above her girlfriend's collarbone and wrapping an arm around her waist. "of course i'm staring, who wouldn't stare at the most beautiful woman in the world?" lisa simply states after a brief pause, continuing to do just that.

 

chaeyoung reacts just as her girlfriend would expect, first by flushing red and ducking her head, then by screwing up her face and lifting a hand to lightly smack lisa's shoulder out of embarrassment. only lisa is prepared for it (because chaeyoung tends to react in the same way to compliments every time and lisa's highly complementary, especially because in regards to chaeyoung, all she has to spout is the truth) catching the hand before it reaches her and lacing their fingers together.

 

it's cheesy as all hell, even lisa can tell that when her girlfriend pretends to roll her eyes at the action but she still settles back down, failing to hide her widening smile and relaxing into lisa's chest.

 

chaeyoung isn't asleep quite yet but she's oddly pensive, that much lisa can tell after over half a decade of knowing and loving the woman, however, she also knows that when her girlfriend is like this, it's best to just let her think. chaeyoung will decide to tell her whatever's on her mind when it becomes necessary or when she feels comfortable and until then, lisa trusts that her girlfriend will inform her of anything that's bothering her. she trusts chaeyoung to take care of herself but also to reach out when she needs help.

 

when it seems like chaeyoung is leading up to something, lisa pushes herself upright, her back straight on the headboard. chaeyoung sits up too, their hands still intertwined as she looks into her girlfriend's eyes.

 

"have you put any thought into what you wanted to do for your special stage?"

 

she's trying to seem offhand, lisa can obviously tell that much, as her girlfriend picks at the polish on her hand, deliberately not making eye contact with her. something about this conversation is making chaeyoung nervous for some reason and even though lisa can't figure out for the life of her why, she's gonna take this as seriously as the other woman seems to be.

 

"not really, i'll probably just do a dance cover," she shrugs, continuing to gaze over at her girlfriend, whose right hand is now completely rid of polish. she's not lying when she says that, between the fanmeeting in thailand she just had and the shoot for moonshot that had followed it (or preceded it? she's bad at keeping track of time), lisa hasn't really had time to even consider the private stage concert they're about to hold in seoul. that hasn't really worried her though, she's still got more than enough time to learn the choreography to a song and if worst comes to worst, she could probably make something up on the spot. she's seen chaeyoung in the practice rooms with a piano rehearsing various covers and even helping jennie learn the guitar for her stage, so it's not like her girlfriend won't be prepared, so she's not sure why chaeyoung is nervous.

 

"you sure you don't want to try something different this time around?"

 

chaeyoung still isn't looking into her eyes, and now there's a pile of disregarded chips of nail polish on her shirt. lisa's sure that her girlfriend is implying something, but she's not sure what exactly. it's not like she can suddenly learn an instrument for the stage, jennie's been practicing with the guys from tour for months and if she's being entirely honest, she hasn't picked up her ukulele in months.

 

she decides to err on the side of caution, shifting over onto her side and lacing chaeyoung's other hand in between her own too (because now all the polish is gone and lisa's kinda worried that she'll start picking at her actual nails soon) before asking "what kind of different are you suggesting?"

 

chaeyoung tries to pull her hand away but lisa doesn't let her, sliding forward so that she's even closer to her girlfriend than before (not that there was much space between them in the first place). she gently lifts a hand to chaeyoung's cheek, tilting is slowly upward to meet her gaze, fond eyes meeting apprehensive ones. the sigh that chaeyoung lets out doesn't worry her, quite the opposite, it cues lisa into the fact that her girlfriend is ready to talk.

 

"we've never sung a duet together before..." she starts before trailing off, her eyes turning downcast as she apparently and very rapidly develops a deep interest in staring at luca and leo's scratching tower near the base of the bed.

 

it's true. the last time they performed anything as just the two of them was before their debut, back when they still had to be evaluated. not that they hadn't sung songs together on vlive or rehearsed dances together, especially the dance break of ddu du ddu du together that chaeyoung had no reason to be nervous about or any covers that lisa was planning to release but never together in a professional format. in fact, lisa's never sung anything that wasn't one of their own songs, always choosing instead to perform dance covers as her solo stages. 

 

even she can't tell if it's just because she loves dancing or if it's because she's scared to sing in front of a crowd.

 

which, of course, outwardly sounds ridiculous. she has to sing in multiple songs off the new album and she'd received nothing but praise from the fans when she did but something about performing a cover, even for a smaller group of fans terrifies her.

 

a musician scared of performing in front of a crowd. how ludicrous.

 

"but i'm a rapper," she tries to reason, probably more so with herself than with chaeyoung, whose eyes are filled with nothing but understanding.

 

"so what if you're a rapper? you were singing with me earlier," she maintains, her soft eyes meeting lisa's that have now become doubtful.

 

lisa's a confident woman, and for good reason. there are literally hundreds of thousands of people who praise her constantly from all over the world about everything from her appearance to her skill set to her personality. she has no reason to fear anything, certainly not a performance for their fans who she knows support them practically unconditionally.

 

then again, she could have support from billions of people across the planet and she'd still probably be apprehensive about this.

 

suddenly, hand wraps around her own, lacing fingers between her own. a head rests on her shoulder and faintly, through their linked wrists and pulse points, she can feel chaeyoung's heartbeat, considerably slower than her own.

 

hearing it, her own heart rate settles, beating in tandem with her girlfriend's as they sit in silence.

 

"okay," she whispers out into the now darkened room. "i will work hard for you," she murmurs as chaeyoung smiles into her collarbone.

 

 

- | -

 

 

lisa's probably a hopeless romantic and it's getting harder and harder to refute that title, most notably after chaeyoung discloses to their oldest members that she chose their duet song.

 

"of all the songs in the world, you picked l.o.v.e.?" jennie calls at her from the other side of their kitchen when lisa returns home from the gym. lisa tries to glare at her girlfriend, who's perched on the counter and not-so-subtly stealing spoonfuls of whatever is on the stove whenever jennie turns away but chaeyoung just smiles back at her fondly and lisa's weak, weak heart caves instantly as she smiles back.

 

"yeah, i did," lisa replies back, her attention still focused entirely on chaeyoung, who stares right back at her, just as lovingly.

 

"can y'all stop making googly eyes at each other? we're trying to cook over here," jisoo calls as she accidentally bumps into lisa as she makes her way across the kitchen to grab dishes that are soon shoved into lisa's hands as she is lightly but firmly spun around and instructed to set the table.

 

she endures teasing like that for several weeks (which gets particularly bad on the day their older members decide to sit in on their rehearsals) but all becomes bearable when she gazes to her side and finds nothing but adoration and support. chaeyoung quite literally holds her hand throughout the process, intertwining their fingers as they lay down the track and smiling brightly after each and every take. they practice the choreography for hours on end but it never seems tiring, specifically not whenever chaeyoung grins at her and winks from the other side of the room.

 

she thinks she's ready in the days preceding the stage, the performance not even coming to mind during the fansign they have the day before or as they get their makeup done the day of.

 

lisa manoban doesn't get nervous (well, except for their debut stage and coachella performances but those obviously don't count). but she finds herself panicking the instant their van arrives at where they're set to perform. typically it's the job of one of their oldest members to give pep talks but jennie is busy fussing over jisoo, who's caught a bit of a cold, so it's chaeyoung who settles herself on the couch next to her in the waiting room.

 

at first, she doesn't say anything, just picks at the hem of her skirt as she stares forward. they're wearing outfits that are supposed to remind their fans of past eras and lisa couldn't be more thankful that even though their styling now sucks, she doesn't have to wear as many mini skirts anymore.

 

when it becomes obvious that chaeyoung isn't going to speak first, lisa's nerves get the best of her, forcing her to ask the question that's been gnawing at her for weeks, "why did you want to sing a duet with me?" 

 

it comes from the tiny, insecure part of her brain that can't help but want reassurance. lisa hates it, having to rely on others to feel comfortable or confident but she does and especially in the moment directly before they walk on stage, she really does.

 

like always, chaeyoung instantaneously understands just what she needs, lacing their fingers in the exact same way she had so many nights before. "because i know you, and i know what you are capable of," she begins, her gaze shifting upward to meet lisa's. 

 

 "because i believe in you, and i believe in your talents," she continues, her other hand coming to cup one of lisa's cheeks as she stares so deeply into the younger woman that she just might melt.

 

"because i trust in you, and i trust in your abilities," she whispers as she leans forward, closing her eyes and pressing their foreheads together. they'd probably look like idiots to anyone else but that doesn't stop lisa from closing her eyes too and just letting the words flow over her, filling her up completely.

 

"and because i love you, completely and utterly," chaeyoung finishes, the words so soft that lisa can barely hear them but so strong, so charged with intent that lisa can also feel them throughout her entire body and in that instant, lisa realizes something.

 

she could have support from every person in the world except for one and she'd still be terrified.

 

but having support from that one person that means the world to her, means the world.

 

and damn if she isn't about to do anything that makes chaeyoung happy, even if it's out of her comfort zone and terrifies her to her core.

 

maybe lisa manoban isn't the best singer in the world. but park chaeyoung knows her, believes in her, trusts in her and loves her wholely.

 

 and that's more than enough for her.

 

 

that's why darling, it's incredible

that someone so unforgettable

thinks that i am unforgettable too