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A Discovery of Denial (The Road to Romance is Riddled with Realizations)

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Day 1

She doesn’t stress about it, doesn’t bother thinking about the fact that she’s going on a trip to an undisclosed location, so receiving a text from Kara to meet her at the helipad on top of her penthouse is certainly unexpected.

Still she follows through with Kara’s instructions, not wanting to add to her best friend’s apparent stress.

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Kara stands, shifting her weight between her legs as she fidgets, hand fiddling with the frames of her glasses as though she’s trying to figure out whether to take them off or keep them on. There’s obviously something eating away at her so Lena stays quiet as Kara pushes through her nerves.

She watches as the cogs finish turning and Kara’s hand drops to her side. Kara breathes in deeply before her feet lock beneath her.

Their gazes meet and Lena smiles in encouragement. Whatever she has to say is important so Lena gives Kara her undivided attention, a usual for the two. She rises from her seat on the couch and reaches out to her friend. Kara grasps her hand like a lifeline. Lena squeezes gently as Kara nods her head as though she’s made up her mind.

“I... I need...” Lena waits, patient as always when it concerns Kara. “I want to show you my home.” the words cross Kara’s lips before she can fully process what she means.

They know each other well enough now so Kara knows she doesn’t have to explain that her home doesn’t mean her rather surprisingly spacious studio apartment. Other than the fact that they’ve shared countless movie and game nights there, Lena knows she has biological parents taken far too prematurely from the world just like herself.

Also not unlike Lena, she’s not originally from America. English isn’t Kara’s native tongue.

But most of all she can decipher from Kara’s demeanor, the way her breath is shaking and her fingers can’t stop reaching for the rim of her glasses, that this isn’t something as simple as a visit to Kara’s cozy bachelorette pad.

“Whatever you wish.” Lena caters to Kara’s wants and provides whatever Kara needs so she readily agrees.

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So Lena clears her calendar for a week and lets Kara handle all the travel details. She also doesn’t bother packing anything but underwear because, she can’t fight her grin as she recalls the way Kara stumbles through that particular exchange with skin tainted red from her neck to the tips of her ears, she assures Lena she’ll take care of everything else.

She reaches the top of the stairs and opens the door toward the helipad. She’s shocked to find a streamlined angular pod, which looks like there’s hardly enough room for two, and that Kara’s standing right beside what clearly appears to be an alien craft.

“Kara?” she questions as she gazes upon the sleek dark gray metallic ship.

It’s small, which explains why she’d been instructed to only pack essentials. She takes a step toward Kara whose hand is outstretched in hope as her eyes flash with something Lena can name as desperation.

“Do you trust me?” she looks so incredibly nervous and Lena can practically hear Kara’s heart pounding.

“With everything that I am.” the answer comes automatically, free of the burden of hesitation, as she closes the distance between them and takes Kara’s hand in her own.

Steps protrude from the side of the ship and Kara moves first, not letting go of Lena’s hand, as she treads up. She climbs over to the cockpit with Lena not trailing far behind. Kara turns toward Lena. She finds Lena’s looking at her with that perfect brow of hers arching upward in question because there’s only one seat in this rather snug ship.

Lena watches as Kara reaches into the ship and waves her free hand above the console.

The ship comes alive. Kara’s finger lingers and the console lights up with holograms of semi familiar symbols hover and Lena watches as Kara expertly guides her hand over them.

There’s a soft hiss and the chair lowers and widens itself. Kara takes a seat and Lena can’t possibly believe where she will be sitting. Yet it seems to be the case as Kara leans back against the cushion and parts her legs. There’s more than enough room for her sit between them yet that doesn’t stop her from looking at Kara to make sure this is exactly what she intends.

Kara smiles and nods as she squeezes her hand, the one she hasn’t let go of. Lena finishes boarding the ship and slowly takes her seat.

She remains in an upright position, not wanting to crowd Kara, but it’s evident her seat companion has other plans. Kara leans into her and at first Lena thinks it’s merely because she wants to be able to navigate the aircraft but as Kara slowly snakes an arm around her waist, it seems Kara only wants to put in the coordinates to their destination. Surely an advanced ship like this would have an autopilot mechanism.

“Is this okay?” Kara whispers against the shell of her ear.

Between the two of them, Kara has always been more tactile. She initiates practically all of their most intimate moments, whether it’s cuddling on the couch during movie night or linking each other’s arms as they walk down the street.

It took a while for Lena to get used to it, to someone being so free with their affection. With Lex, he’d always been more about encouraging looks and assured smiles. Her father had been the same. Of course there had been a comforting hand on the shoulder here and there, a soft squeeze every now and again, but those were few and far in between.

Gone are the days when she would freeze momentarily before offering some sort of an awkward attempt at reciprocation. She’s so used to Kara’s warmth by now.

Lena responds by leaning back against Kara, smiling when she feels a breath against the crook of neck, a sigh of relief.

Kara takes her free arm and also snakes it around Lena’s midsection as the craft comes alive and begins its take off. The small ship ascends into the air smoothly. They pass through the clouds, their speed much faster than any commercial flight, even faster than a rocket. Yet Lena doesn’t feel like she’s hurdling through the air.

Though this little fact seems to do little to comfort Kara who’s still holding onto her like she’s afraid Lena will disappear if she releases her from her hold.

“Aren’t I the one who’s afraid of flying?” Lena teases, hoping it’ll alleviate Kara’s turmoil if only a little.

“It’s not flying that I’m afraid of.” Kara’s gentle confession is shared against Lena’s skin. “Besides, I figured I can help you relax this way.” her arms loosen as she comes upon a realization. “Unless, I’m making things even more awkward? Is this… is this making you more uncomfortable?” the ever so caring Kara questions.

“I’m fine.” Lena finds Kara’s appendages, tightens them around her, and links their hands together. “Perfect really.”

The ship continues to zoom through the air. All Lena sees is blue skies and an even bluer ocean as she looks onto the horizon. She’s a little bothered by the fact that there seems to be no coastlines in their current flight plan but despite the fact that she’s headed toward the unknown she trusts Kara implicitly.

That’s why she doesn’t bother asking where they’re going or why they need a spaceship to get there. She knows Kara, knows that she won’t need to ask because Kara will be sure to provide whatever answers she needs.

“I just wanted to be sure you knew,” Kara knows they’re nearing their destination. They’ve spent maybe a handful of minutes in the air but that’s all it takes in a ship with such advanced capabilities. “In case I forget or you…” she can’t bring herself to even finish that particular train of thought. “Anyway, I need you to know how thankful I am.”

“It’s really not a big deal.” Lena threads their fingers together, squeezing Kara’s hand ever so gently.

“Yes it is.” Kara knows just how important Lena is yet she’d been so willing to accompany her on this voyage of truths. “You’re a very busy CEO yet here you are, spending a week with me. Not to mention you got into spaceship for me despite your fear of flying.” Lena’s given her so much of herself. “I just… I’m eternally grateful that you are in my life and I can only hope your presence will be a constant.” she can dream.

“Alw…” Lena’s promise is interrupted.

“Don’t. I won’t let you say that to me… not until after.” she doesn’t want to chain Lena when she doesn’t know the whole truth about herself.

Before Lena can wonder what could possibly deter her from breaking her vow, the ship begins to slow. Her Kryptonite green eyes can see the white up ahead, the gargantuan glaciers covering the no doubt icy waters, and the frost covered mountains.

The ship steers itself near a particularly large glacier. It looks almost like it was comprised of colossal ice crystals but Lena as watches as the ice dissolves in order to make an entrance for the ship that’s currently heading its way, she determines that it most definitely is not a construct of mother nature. The ship’s landing is seamless, without any sort of turbulence, but the same cannot be said for Lena’s heart.

She realizes why the symbols on the ship’s keyboard are so familiar. She hadn’t really paid attention, too distracted by Kara.

“This is the pod Supergirl came to Earth in.” Lena mutters as the see through material that serves as the see through windshield, it isn’t glass or at least not like glass on Earth that much Lena knows, dissolves.

As she expects, she doesn’t freeze the skin off her face. She’s met with a comfortably ambient temperature.

“Yes...” Kara whispers gently behind her.

They’re inside a cavern filled with white crystalline. Everything looks pristine, as though they’ve been refined with purpose, and frigid as Kara continues to hold her, tight yet still tender in the way Kara always does. Only this time, Lena can feel a slight tremble, and it dawns on Lena, just how fearful Kara is at the moment.

“Why am I here?” Lena allows Kara a few more minutes of clinging onto her like a baby panda clings to its caretaker before she asks.

Lena doesn’t bother asking why Kara has an alien ship, how she knows exactly how to operate said Kryptonian craft, or more importantly how her best friend knows where this Kryptonian fortress is located, because she figures this whole excursion is going to lead to the inevitable answering of her unasked questions.

“Because,” Kara finally disentangles herself from Lena. She easily hops off the pod, offers a hand that’s taken warily this time, and Kara doesn’t let go until Lena finds her footing. Even then, Kara’s movement is entirely slow and her eyes linger along Lena’s form as she continues. “I want,” she shakes her head because the sentient doesn’t seem to be enough. “I want you to know who I really am.” simply telling Lena isn’t enough, not after all these years, not after everything they’ve shared. Lena waits, watching as Kara rids herself of her glasses and unbuttons her shirt. When she sees the all too familiar crest, Lena goes still. Kara would have been worried if not for Lena’s, albeit rapid, heartbeat. “I can take you back....” she breaks the silence between them and Lena extends her hand, effectively stopping the Kryptonian from speaking.

“I promised you eight days.” she reminds. “I am a woman of my word.” Lena’s trying to remain logical, reigning in her emotions because otherwise she’d be on the floor sobbing if she allows betrayal to seep into her veins.

She’ll save the hysterics for later when she’s alone and there’s no chance Kara, Supergirl, will be able to hear her.

“This is as close to Krypton I will ever get.” Kara’s tone is burdened by the weight of her desolation. “The architecture is exactly like it was there,” she can tell from the way Lena’s fists are curled that she’s trying her best to control herself. “The atmosphere is similar to Krypton as well.” this slows Lena’s trembling appendages and Kara knows she’s piqued her curiosity. “The cavern’s system can emulate the red sun on my planet, effectively rendering me powerless,” Kara murmurs as though she’s read Lena’s mind though her guest knows that’s impossible because it’s not one of her powers. No, this comes from Kara knowing Lena. Somehow that just strengthens the burning in Lena’s chest. “I can show you to your room.” Lena nods, not trusting herself to say anything more as Kara leads the way. Lena doesn’t bother paying attention to her surroundings, eyes glued to the back of Kara’s shoes as she follows. They reach their destination and Kara gestures toward a wall. The crystals dissolve, revealing Lena’s room. “I’m right across if you need anything.” she’s willing to grant Lena as much privacy as she wants. “There’s a change of clothes for you there.” she gestures toward the wall, which Lena suspects is probably a concealed closet of some sorts.

Lena says nothing more. She enters the room, forcing her knees to lock until she hears that soft whoosh. It was the sound made when the door opened so she figures it’ll make that same sound when the door closes.

She lets herself fall onto the smooth glacier like floor, fists turning white as she continues to curl them in fury.

She allows herself to feel it all.

The anger burns ferociously, alighting her being, fueling the tears spewing from her eyes. Lena’s irate. She’s enraged because Kara’s been lying to her for so long but mostly, she’s livid because she feels so foolish. She wonders what kind of genius she is, to miss this very vital piece of information.

Her witlessness accompanied by things she’s all too familiar with thanks to her Luthor upbringing: shame and disappointment.

Lena trembles, the last visages of her façade crumbling into nothing as she cries for the loss of her friendship. Tears continue to stream as though they’re washing away the last vestiges of hope that Kara would be constant, that she could be Lena’s always.

She doesn’t know how long she lies on the floor. There are no clocks in the room and she doesn’t want to fish in her bag for phone.

Lena’s stopped crying, ceased with her mourning, and in the wake of her sorrow her rage burns brighter still. It’s what motivates her to gather herself from the floor. She looks for a mirror, wanting to see the damage she’d done, but more importantly she wants to make herself presentable.

She finds a particularly reflective crystal, a Kryptonian mirror she supposes, and stands tall.

Lena’s had her moment of weakness and she won’t allow herself another breakdown so she summons all those emotions, her shame and disappointment along with her ruined hope and everything else in between, chucking them all into a box before shoving them into the far recess of her mind.

All but one.

Wrath continues to course through. She wants to scream, to punch and hit, to break things, but as she looks around the rather sparsely decorated room, she finds there’s no vase she can throw.

She shakes her head. Perhaps expressing her wrath through physical channels is not advisable. She’s a Luthor. She can muster up ways to convey her tempestuous fury in a more hurtful manner than just chucking a hardbound copy of The Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary at Supergirl’s supposedly currently fragile head.

Lena makes her way toward the hidden wardrobe. As soon as she’s close enough the wall parts revealing neatly folded Earthly clothing. The clothes look familiar and she doesn’t wonder where they came from.

They’re her favorite clothes to borrow when she’s spending the night at Kara’s.

She does wonder why there’s also Kryptonian garb hanging in the alien closet as well. She knows exactly what the robes are because Supergirl’s logo is embedded in all of them and of course, they’re colored in that particular shade of red and blue that irritates Lena.

She can’t bear to look at them, grabbing at the earth garments hastily, and putting them on before sinking into the alien mattress.

The mattress seems to know exactly what her body needs, instantly warming or cooling and contouring to her form, like interactive memory foam and if she were in a receptive mood, it’s something she’d be marveling at but her mind’s too preoccupied.

She reaches toward the crystalline nightstand by the matching bed. Just like on the ship, a hologram of symbols begin to hover in the air, and Lena musters the little Kryptonian she knows and begins to fiddle with the controls. Thankfully, she gets the hang of things easily. The lights begin to dim around the room.

Still no matter how comfortable the bedding is, and really the unearthly mattress is heavenly, sleep fails to make itself known Lena.

She lays still engulfed in darkness.

Chapter Text

Day 2

She doesn’t know what time it is. There aren’t exactly any windows and due to her location, relying on the sun to tell her the time isn’t helpful if she’s striving for accuracy.

Her body’s telling her it’s had enough of lying around and doing nothing but sulk, something she detests doing, so she rises. The lights begin to brighten all around the room when she moves and she kicks herself off of the most comfortable mattress she’s ever laid on and begins to take stock of her current domicile, wondering if there’s a bathroom in here.

She loathes the thought of having to ask Kara, loathes even more the thought of accidentally running into her while she’s on the search because she doesn’t want to embarrass herself even more than she already has.

Her damned discovery of that red and blue.

Those colors used to provide her comfort. Whenever she’d see that blue and red blur, she could breathe easier knowing the city was safe. That symbol on Supergirl’s chest was one that brought her hope.

A Luthor and a Super, working together to provide a better tomorrow.

Lena used to look at Kara and her bright beaming smile and see warmth, used to associate blonde hair and pastels with comfort, but now all Kara does is fuel her rage.

It’s a horrid feeling.

One the Luthor had felt for her those servants working at the Luthor manor who constantly reminded her that she was merely a charity case. For those socialites who stared down, noses held high, like she was an interloper who should consider herself lucky that they were gracing her with their presence. For those people, students and staff, in boarding school who mocked her for being an orphan and not possessing an ancestry that could be traced to a source of wealth that’s existed for at least a hundred years.

Most of all she felt this unrelenting resentment for her family. For her father who never told her about her patriarchal lineage. For her adoptive mother who went out of her way to make Lena feel like she will never belong anywhere. For her brother who believed she would never earn the right to be called a Luthor.

Lena Luthor never thought she’d associate this wretched emotion with her best friend.

But it’s all she can feel when she thinks of her once most trusted confidant and she doesn’t know whether or not this feeling will go away, isn’t certain if she wants it to, completely doubtful she will be able to trust Kara again, let alone look at her without contempt.

Before she can wonder if the wounds are merely too raw, if time will give her strength, if space will give her peace, a crystal emerges from the ground near where she’s standing.

She sees a hologram of the object of her ire being emitted from the freshly protruding crystal.

All those emotions she threw into that box the night before are threatening to burst out of the lid. Thankfully her anger is strong enough to hold them all back as Lena looks at the image before her and it hits her then, that Kara’s standing right outside her door wearing what she’s surmising to be traditional Kryptonian garb.

She closes her eyes, breathes deeply, standing straight as she exhales. She readies herself to open the door even though she doesn’t quite know how to go about it.

Kryptonian technology is very interactive. Before she can take a step toward the crystal doors, the newly formed crystal that’s projecting Kara’s likeness beyond the room draws closer to her and Lena notices hovering symbols just below the image. She clicks on one and isn’t surprised when she hears the doors whoosh open.

“Um,” Kara begins, uncertainty drowning her entire being. “I… Good morning.” she whispers carefully, like she’s afraid even the faintest sound will break this already tentative moment between them. “It uh, occurred to me that I didn’t show you where the washroom is.”

Lena still hasn’t turned around. Just the sound of Kara’s voice grates on her nerves but her Luthor upbringing commands her to find her resolve.

She faces Kara with that infamous Luthor stare, one that’s filled with a cold and calculating emptiness. It’s the look Lena reserves for business associates she dislikes. It’s a gaze that could rattle her most hated enemies. Lena takes it as a small victory when she sees the all mighty Supergirl, Kara or whoever she really is, visibly flinch.

Lena crosses her arms in front of her chest and raises her brow expectantly. Kara stands still for a good few minutes, shocked to see those Kryptonite depths look upon her with such hostility, before she moves.

Kara knows what that look means. She’s seen Lena give it to her most impertinent subordinates at L-Corp, to the rudest wait staff at restaurants they dined in, when they were being insolent. That look accompanied with that particular curve of Lena’s brow means she despises the person she’s dealing with but still expects them to do their task and currently, Kara’s assignment was to show Lena to the bathroom.

She leads the way, passing slowly so she can glance into her green eyes, and heads toward their intended destination. Lena follows with a more than ample enough space between them.

And Kara can’t help but feel that they’re so much worse off now than when they first met.

At least then, Lena had been guarded but open to the possibility of something. She was far from welcoming but at least she’d been playful with Kara but now, now Kara was certain there was a wall between them.

A wall that even with all her Kryptonian might, Kara would be unable to break.

The crystal doors near the hidden wardrobe dissolve with that whoosh once more, revealing what appears to be the lavatory of Lena’s room. She steps inside, looking around the crystalline room which is apparently the theme of Krypton, before her eyes settle Kara who’s standing near what the Earthling supposes to be the toilet of the Kryptonian bathroom.

It’s angular and doesn’t look at all comfortable but she thought the mattress she couldn’t sleep on the night before would be solid and cold, instead she found it cozy and pliable.

Appearances could be deceiving.

After all, she thought Kara Danvers was just a mild mannered reporter and it turns out she is the alter ego of Supergirl.

“That’s the,” Kara gestures toward the space toilet. “It’s kind of like a super automatic bidet.” she doesn’t explain more, not wanting to add to Lena’s obvious discomfort, as Kara steps toward the corner of the room. “Just throw your laundry here for the sort of automatic dry cleaning.” Kara then moves toward the other side. “This is the Kryptonian equivalent to a shower. Just...” she waves her hand toward the wall and suddenly a crystal descends from the roof of the bathroom. “And umm, I know you can figure all of this out.” Kara has no doubt that Lena will be able to memorize every detail and operate all Kryptonian systems, including piloting their pod, within less than five minutes. “It’s an excuse to see you.” Kara murmurs because she wants to be completely honest. She feels Lena deserves nothing less that her truest self. “There’s breakfast in the dining area when you’re ready.” she makes her way out of the bathroom. “Just follow the scent.”

Kara leaves, runs off, because she’s glaring. Lena knows her eyes convey more fury than she intends but the memory of yesterday’s events coupled with her righteous indignation prevent regret from festering.

She rids herself of her clothes, folding them neatly and setting them off to the side, before stepping inside the alien shower.

The controls appear and she instantly turns the shower on, wanting to wash yesterday’s events off her body as though this will wipe them from her mind. It’s a fruitless endeavor, she knows all too well, but a woman can dream.

As expected, the temperature and pressure are perfect, but the water itself feels a little different.

Upon closer inspection she sees the water is blue instead of clear and it smells like fresh spring with a hint of a floral fragrance, something akin to roses. Lena searches the area around her and finds it devoid of any sort of bathing products.

She figures the waters have been laced with some sort of cleaning compound. It’s efficient but it doesn’t mean Lena’s leaving the shower sooner.

Lena takes her time enjoying the feel of the tepid waters against her skin that seems to be smoother. She likes to take long showers, always starts her day with one. It’s not because she’s trying to prolong the inevitable. Luthor’s don’t avoid challenges. They face their foes head on.

Luthors most definitely do not stall.

So Lena turns off the shower and steps out. She’s met with a soft warm breeze that instantly rids the small beads of liquid from her hide and she has to commend Kryptonian tech for its efficiency and environmental friendly qualities.

She heads over to the wardrobe, which is unsurprisingly connected to the bathroom. She puts on her undergarments, picks out an outfit she’d never be caught dead wearing even at her own penthouse, a pair of shorts and a loose shirt with the emboldened ‘NCU’ covering its front. At her stomach’s behest, she heads toward the scent of food.

In keeping with Kryptonian décor, there’s a transparent chairs located on the ends of a large clear slab in the middle of the room that’s covered with an array of different nourishments. It’s all food that Lena recognizes.

Because Kara can’t recreate Kryptonian dishes no matter how much she wants to taste their flavors again.

Breakfast is comprised of Lena’s known favorites; spinach omelet, egg whites mainly, tomato toast with macadamia ricotta, oatmeal and quinoa next to some fruits and chocolates. Of course there’s a gigantic mount of bacon and chocolate chip waffles, foods Lena denies are her favorites but Kara knows otherwise from all the times she leaned over and forked at the contents of Kara’s plate over breakfast.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t make any of this.” cooking is definitely not one of her skills. “We have Xeirvu to thank for this meal.” a robot makes itself known, floating into the middle of the room with its arms carrying a tray filled with drinks, and Lena can’t help but stare at it in wonder. “Smoothies.” another one of Lena’s favorites.

Lena doesn’t bother sparing Kara another glance, eyes trained on the copious amounts of food in front of her, as she no longer wonders how Kara can eat so much without gaining even a single ounce.

They eat their meal in an uncomfortable silence. It’s a first for the pair because when they began their friendship, few quips were shared here and the small talk had been amicable. Lena ignores the fact that those bright blues haven’t left her person since she walked into the dining room.

After they finish their meal, Lena finally graces Kara with a glance. She can practically feel the vibrations from Kara’s bouncing legs.

It seems like Kara’s trying to decide her next move as their gazes lock. She slowly rises from the chair and makes her way toward the hall, pausing at the doorway to look over her shoulder. Lena understands her request and follows Kara’s lead once more.

They walk, Kara in the front with a few feet between herself and Lena, through the corridors until they reach a room that’s decidedly different from the others.

It was clear that Kryptonian’s could not care less about aesthetics and décor as they probably opted for necessity and functionality yet this room was unlike the Spartan style of the rest of the rooms she’s previously occupied. This particular chamber is adorned with clear, if Lena has to guess the material she’s going with quartz, statues. Her eyes look upon the room and she sees fragments of crystals with Kryptonian symbols scribbled all over, depictions of characters plastered on the walls. It feels like she’s entered a sacred space meant to venerate, to remember, a civilization gone.

Kara takes the fact that Lena hasn’t run back to the confines of her room, or worse demand to be taken back to National City, as a signal that means Lena doesn’t want to talk but at least is willing to listen so she doesn’t waste the opportunity.

“Welcome to the Fortress of Solace.” a miniscule piece of Krypton on Earth. “Clark has his own ties to Krypton, a ship his father sent.” her arms spread wide as she gestures toward the entire hall.

She doesn’t miss the way Lena bristles at her newest revelation because of course; The Daily Planet’s ace reporter Clark Kent is Superman. Lena’s anger swells, burning along her esophagus, as she thinks about how distracted and foolish she’s been in Kara’s company to not notice all the signs.

All those missed lunches and dinners because of emergencies.

How Kara sometimes smelled faintly of smoke when she reached in to greet Lena with a hug.

The way everyone in Kara’s cozy little gang cagily made excuses for Kara’s sudden disappearances or lack thereof at important gatherings.

Kara’s flustered state whenever she brings up Supergirl.

Supergirl’s face, the way her decisive and undaunted grin falters, whenever she mentions Kara’s name.

There were instances when she’d seen Kara and Supergirl together, a handful of moments really, she should have known it was that Martian who could take the forms of others because during those times, those bright blues were dull and hesitant. But she didn’t, didn’t think about their similarities, because she thought Kara was good and kind and she had been so fooled into believing that she’d found the one honest person in the world.

The fact is she instantly felt at ease with mild mannered Kara Danvers whose only agenda was to share the truth with the world with a smile so wide as her bright blues shone with such hope.

As for Supergirl, she could understand why she’d hide her true identity given their history and how many times Lex has tried to kill Superman and Supergirl.

But Kara’s duplicitous nature is unexpected to say the least.

“Most of this fortress came from a crystal but we’ll get into that later.” Kara murmurs. “I think it’s best if I start in the beginning, the very beginning.” because Lena knows all about Supergirl and Superman, about how Krypton blew up despite its scientific supremacy, but Lena doesn’t know about Kryptonian’s, about their culture and the ideologies they held close to their minds which were meant to rule over their hearts.

Lena is finding it hard to understand why she’s standing in the same room as Kara, why she’s bothering to listen to her story, instead of sitting at her penthouse and drowning herself in whiskey.

“In the old days, back when science was non-existent and mysticism ruled the land, we believed in Gods and Goddesses, not unlike the ancient civilizations of Greece and the Aztecs.” polytheism was a practice that existed before the Guilds, before they could store trillions of data into one tiny sliver of a crystal, before Kryptonians could decipher the most complex theorems in grade school. The piety for Gods and Goddesses of old trickled down as Kryptonians begin to answer questions previously explained with the existence of deities. “The story is Rao, the red sun, along with his wife Rea, the crystallized earth, met and created life.” but Kara wants to share her history with Lena, wants her to know the people of Krypton, their beliefs and ideals.

As Kara continues with her tale Lena’s eyes are on the images before her, watching the statues on the hologram change as the last daughter of Krypton continues with her lesson.

Lena’s curiosity gets the better of her.

It certainly has nothing to do with her wanting to learn about Kara and where she came from. She tells herself she no longer cares about Kara and her home.

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“What was it like?” Supergirl questions as she and Lena look upon the picture of Lena’s younger self dressed in a black blazer, a matching sweater vest underneath, with her white collared shirt barely held together at the neck with a loosely knotted olive green tie, and skirt that matched said tie and socks that stopped just below Lena’s knees.

Her penthouse has suffered yet another attack and photos from her childhood, she doesn’t know when she packed that album, are scattered all over.

“Boarding school? Contentious, competitive.” she remembers the teasing, the hurtful words thrown across the halls, the sneering. “Boring for the most part.” Lena also remembers being pressed against silk sheets and kisses filled with a desire to forget.

“That’s not what I meant.” and of course Lena knows this. “What’s Ireland like?” Supergirl has only recently started using her powers.

Between keeping the world safe from terrorists, stopping hostage situations, rescuing cats stuck in the weirdest and highest places, and trying to prove her worth to Cat and Snapper, she hasn’t had a lot of time to benefit from her Super speed.

“Green.” there’s grass and a faint scent of meadows. “Beautiful.” Lena thinks of the rocky cliffs above dark sanded beaches and how the oceans crash wildly against the shore. “Ancient.” castles everywhere, some decrepit and decaying while others stand as regal and robust as the day they were first built. “Filled with ruins where they told stories about witches and Goddesses,” she remembers all too well. “Where people learned glory and pride.” she thinks of the Irish myths she’d read on those nights sleep managed to elude her, those nights when even the warmth of a body next to her did nothing to soothe the frost in her chest. “Love and longing.”

“One of my favorite myth’s on Krypton is about a warrior.” Kara heard this myth from her mother after she’d learned about her beloved aunt Astra’s perceived downfall by the Council. “She’d left her homeland for what seemed like eons in order to secure the safety of her people. She traveled to the farthest reaches for the glory of her nation, defeating all those who would threaten their mighty empire.” and Supergirl continues her tale about Par Un-Ji. She tells Lena of the warrior who wanted nothing more than to come home but like the great Odysseus, her journey back was filled with disaster and destruction. “She finally reached home and her heart felt like it could burst. She was overjoyed in the beginning, but the longer she spent back the more she realized how the people who celebrated her return didn’t ignite a feeling of kinship. The food no longer left her taste buds teeming with flavor. They didn’t fill her heart with warmth.” and she doesn’t know if deprivation incited her imagination. If her memories are pure or if they’ve been tainted with longing. “She wondered why this was the case. Everything was exactly as she remembered, yet home no longer felt like home.” it was the first time she thought it was possible, that home did not have to be a place but a feeling instead. “Almost all of the myths I’d heard were about belonging and doing what was best for the good of the people, for Krypton.” Kryptonians were all about the collective, about doing what’s best for the good of Krypton, and hearing about someone who didn’t feel like they belonged in spite of the endless lessons about unity ignited an interest in her.

“Heroines are practically bred on Krypton.” because Supergir’s all about helping and saving everyone and everything.

“Do you know any Irish myths?” she’s unfamiliar with Gaelic mythology.

“A few.” she knows them all. “My…” Lena can remember a soft cadence, the gentlest of touches, kisses and hugs being given freely. “My mom,” from the tone she uses, Supergirl instantly knows she’s talking about her birth mother. “She used to tell me the myths.” and it becomes clear to her, why Lena had been shipped to a boarding school in Ireland when the best of the best were shipped to Switzerland. “She wanted to me to learn the old tongue and thought naming deities and princesses of old was a good start.”

“Tell me one?” it’s a request Lena can’t deny, not when it’s accompanied with a gentle grin and those blues eyes are shinning so curious and interested.

“There was a mighty warrior once named Oisin,” Lena begins to share the Irish myth about Oisin who found paradise with the woman of his dreams and immortality but still missed his homeland. “He was granted a horse but was told never to dismount for the minute he stepped on the dirt, his 300 years on Tir na Nog would catch up with him.” she recalls the tale. “Of course, his saddle broke when he tried to help a few men move a rock because the road to hell is indeed paved with the best intentions.” Lena’s quip earns a disapproving shake of the head and a small smile. “He fell and the minute his feet met the Irish earth, he became nothing but bones.” the tale seemed foolish to her ears. Giving up paradise for home is idiotic. “I suppose the human condition simply doesn’t allow for one to be in a perpetual state of happiness.” a bitter grin takes hold of Lena’s painted lips. “We covet. We want more than what we have.” she bows her head down, eyes glued to her glass of expensive whiskey. “I know for a fact it’s the curse of the Luthor’s.” a curse settled deep into her veins.

“You aren’t cursed Lena.” Supergirl’s quick to offer comfort even when it’s undeserved.

“I wish that were true.” she drowns herself in her drink, swallowing the amber liquid in one quick gulp, her throat numb to the burn from years of practice in dealing with her penchant for indulging in such beverages in times of distress and melancholy. “I think you and Kara are the only people in the universe who believe that.” there’s a flash of something that seems like guilt in those blues but it’s gone before Lena can properly observe.

“I think,” there’s warmth on Lena’s hand, the one she has clasping her now empty glass, as Supergirl grips her gently. “When you find what truly makes you happy, you wouldn’t look for anything else.”

“The same could be said for you.”

Lena replies because Supergirl’s virtue, like Kara’s beaming hopeful smile, is infectious.

--------

“I used to be so obsessed with Earth’s myths when I first heard about them in middle school.” Lena has to bite back the ‘I know’ teetering on the tip of her tongue because Kara Danvers mentioned her love for mythology before and hearing it once is all it takes for Lena to remember something that’s important to Kara.

She didn’t think there was anything suspicious about Kara’s fascination with legends and Supergirl’s penchant for sharing tales, after all Lena loved stories as well.

“I couldn’t get enough of them: Egyptian, Mayan, Greek, Roman…” Kara trails off. “I absorbed them all.” and Lena can easily picture a younger version of the woman before her, eyes glued on pages of scripts about ancient stories. “They used to think I was weird, even the Danvers.” and Lena never thought that about Kara, only assumed that she’d been fascinated with the tales because she’s a writer.

Only now does she begin to understand, after hearing a great deal of Kryptonian myths of old, that Kara wasn’t inspired by the stories and the ones Supergirl shared were always reminiscent of something Lena’s heard before.

Kara sought the mythologies of different Earth civilizations because she was searching for tales that were similar to the ones she heard, the ones she’d read on that floating holographic screen, back on Krypton. She wanted to hear the familiar narratives because she missed her world, the one that burst flames until all that was left was an empty nothingness.

Lena wonders, purely out of curiosity, if the pages of those books Kara read managed to stay dry whenever she found those specific stories.

She wonders how many nights the young survivor spent, curled up alone, wishing that the texts she was reading was written in a language only she could speak naturally and understand flawlessly. She wonders how much Kara wishes to hear about Rao and Rea uttered from the mouth of someone else because Lena knows how tiring it is, how lonely it feels, to sit in a dimly lit room reciting stories only she can remember with absolute clarity because they hold importance only to her heart.

Chapter Text

 

Day 3

Her morning starts off much like it did the day before. Lena rises out of bed and Kara shows up in her holograph viewer. Thankfully she spares Lena another awkward tour to the lavatory, popping in only to announce that breakfast is ready.

Lena’s movements are slower and her feet drag a bit more than normal. It’s not a delaying tactic to slow her reunion with Kara. True, she has never been a morning person but this is decidedly different. She’s not a stranger to exhaustion. She spends many sleepless nights absorbed with her projects and is completely accustomed to working from dusk to dawn in order stump those old crones sitting behind that rather long and wide rectangular desk in the L-Corp boardrooms.

But unlike those instances her body is void of adrenaline. She’s worn not only in body, but also in mind, and added to her fatigue is her heart which has been utterly tattered and shredded to pieces.

It’s a wonder that she isn’t used to this feeling yet after years of dealing with sorrow. Misery, her true and constant companion, seems to be the thing she can count on to accompany her in the entirety of her existence but just because she’s destined for a life filled with desolation and loneliness doesn’t mean she’s going to allow her foes to see her in such a defeated state.

So she readies herself for the arena once more. She knows her armor isn’t one she’s accustomed to sporting. There’s not a blazer nor blouse that can be matched with a pencil skirt in sight and she doubts she can look as formidable dressed in Kara’s shorts and a rather large old N’Sync concert shirt.

But her spirit is more than willing to compensate for the lack of her usual battle attire. She supposes she’ll have to rely on posture and her apparently infamous glare to do the trick.

After her shower, she heads toward the dining area and sees that Kara’s sitting in the seat across the other end of the long table once more. She situates herself on the chair that’s farthest from Kara and begins to dine, hoping the nourishment will replenish the energy she’s lacking.

She feels Kara’s gaze on her and conveys her annoyance with a glance. She’d like to get through breakfast without feeling like a lion at the zoo being gawked at during feeding time.

Kara looks away instantly, eyes drifting down to her filled plate, and it’s Lena’s turn to stare. The Kryptonian is looking as flawless as ever and if it weren’t for the dark circles under her eyes, ones that match the ones under Lena’s, she would be inclined to believe Kara’s lying about not having powers in the Fortress.

It’s evident that sleep’s eluding them both and Lena wonders if Kara’s guilt is keeping her awake or if she’s worried about a Luthor smothering in her sleep.

There’s no doubt in her mind that she’s evoking pain for the woman who spent their entire friendship keeping her, and only her because it’s evident Kara’s crew knows about Kara’s dual personas, in the dark brings little to joy to her heart. Still, she supposes she should be grateful for even the smallest comforts she can receive.

The latter option, the one dealing with Kara’s affliction to her Luthor bloodline, she doesn’t know how she should feel about.

She finds herself incredibly torn. There’s a part of her that’s upset, devastated, that Kara could think such a thing about her after everything they’ve been through, while the Luthor in her is proud that a Kryptonian would view her as a threat. And of course, there’s a part of her that’s disappointed and enraged. Lena wonders if the blood coursing through her veins is Kara’s reason for staying silent during the course of their friendship. She wonders if it’s the reason for their friendship, if Kara had pursued her just so she can keep tabs on Lex Luthor’s little sister, his possible partner in crime. Lena doesn’t ask, not wanting to speak just yet, not until she’s absorbed what Kara has to say.

It’s most definitely not because she’s afraid of Kara’s truth.

And it’s most certainly not because she’s afraid of what her own mouth will be spouting. It’s not like she cares if whether or not she hurts the Kryptonian’s feelings. It’s not like she’s hoping, somewhere deep down, that they’ll be able to salvage their relations.

They finish their breakfast and Kara sends her a small tentative smile before rising from her chair. She waits by the doorway for Lena once again.

If Lena’s walking a little closer to her than she was yesterday, it’s because she finds herself intrigued by what she’ll be learning today. It isn’t because her heart’s warming to Kara once again. No, as far as Lena’s concerned, the last bits of sentimentality she possessed were incinerated by her fiery fury at the Kryptonian.

They reach a different room. This one is adorned not with scriptures or drawings but with gadgets.

At the start of the room, they pieces are rudimentary, Lena can tell because of their coarseness and size, but as her sight goes down the line the apparatuses become sleeker and more compact.

“After the age of the Creators, came the age of Inquiry as the people began to become more curious about their surroundings and were no longer able to accept the stories they were told as truths.” she begins her history lesson with Lor Van-Pe and her discovery of the different types of Kryptonian crystals and their uses.

Lena listens diligently as Kara continues to tell Lena all about Krypton and how they came to be the civilization she knew before they’d perished.

Kara explains the different theorems that developed, the ones written all over the room. Lena can see the miniature hologram of Krypton’s first flying craft and beneath that is the formula that gave their people the ability to fly. Near the first air vessel is another aircraft, one that’s slightly sturdier and sleeker and Lena doesn’t doubt its ability to blast off into the sky.

Kara tells her how they strived to be able to travel faster than the speed of light. She tells Lena of Krypton’s exploratory years, of how they learned about different cultures and communed with different civilizations. Some had been kind and civil.

But there were those that sought Krypton’s superior technology and mind.

The explorations ceased when the wars began. Different planets from all over heard of the sophistication of Kryptonian science and sought to acquire the inventions for their own.

The people of Krypton had been forced to build weapons to protect themselves. They managed to win against the foreign invaders but soon developed a mentality that they did not need to venture out into space in order to seek answers for their questions.

They closed themselves off from the rest of the universe, opting to keep all their knowledge for Krypton, and soon everything else was done for the good of Krypton.

During lunch, Kara arranges for them to eat in the science room. She’s writing on the holographic space with her finger, explaining the similar mathematical equations between Earth and Krypton and pointing out the ones that humans are getting wrong and Lena ignores the annoyance creeping in her skin because she could have been talking shop with Kara all this time.

The afternoon is spent with Kara continuing to formulate and when Lena suddenly rises from her seat in order to rectify the formula that Kara’s butchering, from years of lack of practice, Lena reaches out and places the parenthesis where it belongs.

Kara doesn’t bother hiding the grin that’s threatening to split her face in two.

At dinner Lena still doesn’t speak, which isn’t a surprise, but what she does find strange is the change in Kara’s demeanor.

It happened after Kara explained how they mined for different resources on Krypton. She’d grown quiet and the beaming smile on her face that appeared when Lena involved herself with theorems hours earlier disappeared.

Dinner is finished and the dishes are cleared yet Kara still remains in her seat, looking desolate and downtrodden as Lena observes.

“Earth is young. People still have much to learn.” Kara murmurs, breaking the silence that enveloped them. “But I suppose age doesn’t guarantee wisdom.” for the first time since they met, those bright blues as dim and gray. “My people claimed to be just and logical but they ignored my family’s plight even after they had provided the Council with all the data they needed to prove that Krypton was dying,” that the planet could no longer sustain itself and was on the precipice of collapsing. “That we had cultivated all of the planet’s resources.” and Lena suddenly understands how the lesson in crystal mining can lead Kara to this depressive train of thought. “Pride, it seems, really is the greatest sin.” she looks upon her with such disappointment and Lena knows this particular comment isn’t directed towards her. “They refused to acknowledge their failure so they decided to doom themselves and our entire civilization rather than admit their fault.” a soft whisper to match the tender truth. “Rather than admit the mighty council could be so ignorant.”

And Lena knows all about pride and ruin. She’d watched Lex teeter down that slope with her very own eyes, witnessed her brother’s downfall, the favored Luthor’s fall from grace.

--------

It’s Saturday and the only reason she’s not at L-Corp is because she knows Jess is chummy with Kirby, the head of L-Corp IT, and has somehow arranged it so she will know the minute her boss logs onto her computer, whether it be at her lab or her office.

And she knows that her assistant will undoubtedly send someone to keep her fro working and Lena doesn’t want to be a burden and she refuses to be bothered.

Not today.

There’s a small beep by the door and she doesn’t bother looking to see who’s intruding upon her since she’s only given full access to her domicile to one person.

The scent of bacon permeates through the air and she wonders if Kara’s got some sort of sensor on her because she has a way of knowing when Lena’s about to enter a chasm filled with alcohol. Kara always manages to show up just after Lena’s poured a glass of amber that’s definitely not tea.

“I brought breakfast.” Kara, thankfully, never requests for her to stop.

She doesn’t judge. Her eyes are void of that detestable emotion; pity. That’s why Lena feels comfortable enough to drink while Kara sits by her side. The only thing Kara is during these moments is concerned. She can feel it coming off in abundant waves and in Kara’s touches.

Kara’s kind and compassionate. Most of all, she’s understanding so she only insists that Lena not drink on an empty stomach.

It’s a compromise.

And Lena gives in because she doesn’t want Kara to worry like she knows Kara’s prone to do. She’d also hate to disappoint her friend and be the cause of Kara’s woes.

“Why are you here?” there’s no bite in her voice, only a bark that’s loud and dishonest. “Have you come to get a quote? Or maybe Snapper’s assigned you to cover a special? I have the perfect header. ‘How Lena Luthor Spends the Anniversary of the Lex Luthor’s Kryptonite Bomb?’ or is it too morbid to call it ‘The Anniversary of the Day Lex Luthor massacred 120 people.’?” she finds herself pressing because if Kara’s determined to care, she’s absolutely hell bent on pushing her away.

“Snapper didn’t send me.” of course Lena knows this.

What she doesn’t know is how hard she has to try to get Kara to a safe distance. Lena wants to save Kara from the devastation their attachment will ultimately bring about. She’s a tornado, a vacuum that will siphon Kara of everything that’s good and pure about her until Lena leaves nothing in her wake but despair and darkness.

“Then you don’t have a reason to be here.” she needs to save Kara from the ruin her hands will deliver. “You know the way out.” before Lena can get away, there’s a gentle tightness on her wrist keeping her in place.

“I’m intruding, I know.” Kara whispers tentatively. “But… I want to be here.” she presses against Lena. “Even if I don’t have the right,” Kara’s so close and she’s so concerned and Lena’s never felt so much warmth and affection in her entire existence. “And as for reason, well,” she presses into Lena. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you.”

“I don’t deserve you.” she murmurs in lieu of an apology.

“Shouldn’t I be the judged of whether or not you’re worthy of my time?” a gentle smile on the crook of Lena’s neck.

“I’m not worthy of anyone’s time.” Lena cringes, fully aware of how dramatic and emotive she sounds. “I thought I was once,” still she can’t help her truths from spilling. “Lex attended every graduation ceremony. Even the pointless grade school ones.” she remembers how he’d beam with such pride and smile so wide whenever he hung those medals around her neck. “He was there for me.” he was the only person who’d felt like family. “But he...” Lena remembers those cold blue eyes that looked upon her with such hatred. “In the end even he figured out that I’m not worth it.”

“They’re all idiots.” Lena doesn’t know what happened but suddenly Kara’s face is so close and those blues are shining with such devotion.

“My father was named Business Man of the Year four times in a row, and my stepmother was a two time World Chamption at chess at the age of 10. Lex’s IQ is greater than Einstein’s.” she lists all of the reasons why Kara’s mistaken. “He beat a Super Computer in a Math competition once.”

“Doesn’t mean they’re right.” Kara’s pout is absolutely adorable.

“You’re not exactly an unbiased source.” a smile worms its way to her lips despite herself. “But thank you,” it’s not enough. There’s so much that Kara’s done for her, from constantly bringing her meals because she knows Lena has a tendency to forget whenever she’s engrossed with work, to being her greatest source of comfort. Words would never be enough. “For everything.” still, she figures it doesn’t hurt to say them anyway.

Kara’s hand slides to cup her face, the pad of her thumb rests on her cheekbone while Kara’s pinky is settled on her jawline.

“You’re absolutely ethereal.” her proclamation makes it impossible to for Lena to protest. “How is it that you can’t see how awe inspiring you are?” Kara’s turning her head so their eyes can meet. So she can see for herself how much Kara believes in her. “But I guess you not knowing just how amazing you truly are is a part of your charm.”

She leans into Kara’s touch and without meaning to, manages to press the corner of her lips to Kara’s hand. Her eyes watch Kara’s reaction.

Kara’s cheeks are as red as Supergirl’s cape yet she leans in closer and doesn’t bother retreating. Lena brings up her own appendage and links their hands together.

“I must have done something good in my past life to run into you now.”

“There’s no way you could ever do something bad in any of your lives Lena.” she doesn’t understand why Kara believes so fervently in her goodness but decides against looking a gift horse in it’s mouth. “You know, Clark didn’t want anything to with me at first.”

“That’s impossible.” she finds it unimaginable that someone would reject a pure soul like Kara’s.

“He was 25 and wasn’t ready to uproot his life and take on a cousin he didn’t even know. But he was the only family I had left.” Kara can’t stop herself from sharing her grievances. “The only one who…” she pauses, remembering there are things she can’t talk about no matter how much she wants to. “He didn’t even really bother trying to form a relationship with me until I met his adoptive mother like five years later?” Lena to her credit, just listens.

“And the Danvers, as nice as Eliza and Jeremiah were they could never understand.” they didn’t know what losing everything feels like. “You know Alex hated me the first couple of years I was with them?” and no, Lena did not know of Kara’s struggles to form a bond with her family. The way they are now makes it seem like Kara’s spinning a tall tale. It’s hard to imagine Kara not looking at Clark in admiration, even harder to imagine Alex at odds with Kara. “I suppose you’re wondering why I’m telling you all this.” Lena has an inkling as to why though.

“It’s just… I know what it’s like to be completely and totally alone,” she confesses. “To have the people around you that are supposed to love and accept you disappoint and hurt you instead.” she reaches out and cups Lena’s face, wanting to look into those magnificent greens. “But I need you to know, you’re not alone anymore.” she’ll never leave her side. “No matter what happens Lena, you have me.” her thumb grazes Lena’s jawline as it slips down to the back of her neck.

Kara leans closer and closer until their lips are a mere breath apart and Lena can’t hear anything but her heart beating against her eardrums.

“You have me too, Kara.” the words that escape her mouth after are unfamiliar. She’s never used them before, not in this capacity, and certainly not with such intent and intimacy. “Always.”

“Don’t,” Lena’s promise doesn’t earn a positive reaction. “You shouldn’t promise me that.” Kara shifts, pulls back, and Lena wonders why she’s weighted with such guilt. “I don’t deserve it.” her head bows down in shame and Lena can’t believe this is coming from the epitome of trust that is Kara Danvers. “Not yet.”

“Kara…” she reaches out, her hand finding Kara’s instantly.

She grips Lena and lets her head hang low until it’s perched on Lena’s smooth shoulder. She can feel those beautiful greens, the shade of deadly Kryptonite, staring right into her and she needs her to know her refusal has nothing to do with the Lena or the Luthor factor.

So she whispers on the crook of Lena’s neck, noting the slight shiver it sparks despite the fact that her breath is warm and devoid of her freezing breath.

“One day, I hope I’ll earn your always.”

------

“The price for one’s pride is paid by another,” Kara murmurs knowingly. “You are more than familiar with this universal principal.”

Before Lena can muster up her wrath and accuse Kara of making assumptions, she finds herself holding her tongue. She’s not about to lie, to hide her truth, to commit the same act that’s stoking her ire. She refuses to be a hypocrite.

It’s definitely not because Kara on the verge of tears.

Chapter Text

The room they enter is spacious but completely bare aside from a large circular console that’s located in the center.

They stand near it and Kara seems uncertain as she peers over to her side at Lena whose eyes are watching her every move. She swallows before releasing a breath and waving her hand over the hub.

An apparition appears, a woman with gorgeous blonde waves stopping to the middle of her back, a spitting image of Kara but older and Lena doesn’t have to wonder who she is. The hologram speaks in a language Lena’s never heard of with a tone that brings a glimmer to Kara’s dim blues.

“I’ve brought someone here today. Lena Luthor, my,” she’s doing that shifting thing, bouncing on the balls of her feet in uncertainty, a trait that screams Kara Danvers. “She’s someone very special to me.” no matter what Lena thinks of her, what their relation is, this will never change. “Lena, this is Alura Zor-El, formerly of the house In-Ze, my mother.” she struggles, forces herself to speak, to explain. “At least a part of her conscious.” a piece should be better than nothing.

Yet her still voice trembles, her gaze still despairing, and her lips still curl in a melancholy frown. Lena can see how Kara’s throat constricts, how her entire body’s quivering, and she looks like she’s about a word away from crumbling down to the floor.

“The crystal that powers this fortress was designed by her, derived from directly from her mind.” she’s explained all about crystals and memory and everything in between. “I thought I lost her,” and Lena can discern that of course Kara knows her mother’s gone but that crystal is as much a piece of her mother as she is. “But after I became Supergirl, I found her at the DEO.” she gazes upon her mother’s image with love, affection, but there’s something else, something beyond longing and grief. “Alex who’d been working for the DEO for years kept her from me while Clark,” she scoffs. “Clark took everything I had left and gave her away.” there’s bitterness that’s overshadowed by remorse. No doubt Kara feels guilty and is reminding herself to grateful for all she was given. “They kept my ship and my crystal cipher from me.” Lena knows by now what all of this means.

It seems Kara isn’t the only one who can hide the truth, isn’t the only one who takes and takes before they give.

“They said it was to keep me safe because,” the breath she releases is burdened. “I have a piece of my old world, of my mother, but it came at a price.” it wasn’t only Kara’s Earth family who had broken her trust. “I discovered my mother wasn’t a saint.” she confesses. “In order to prove her loyalty to Krypton, to hide the fact that house of El we’re planning on disobeying the councils ban on anyone leaving Krypton, she sacrificed her twin sister.” she thinks of her mother’s twin, her eyes which always shone with love and mischief. “My mother was a magistrate and her sister was a general.”

“My father and his brother shared their finding of our planet’s unstable core with my aunt and her husband, hoping with enough support they could convince the council to evacuate and they had conflicting views on how to handle the Council’s rejection.” they’ve always been different but Kara knew their love for her was what tied them together. “My aunt chose not to keep quiet, to actively defy the councils orders, and was branded a traitor.” she hadn’t believed it when she heard it and her mother had always answered that her aunt was doing what she thought was best for Kara and Krypton. “After her husband killed a guard at the Citadel, Aunt Astra was forced to hide along with her supporters.” she remembers the emergency broadcast. “My mother used me as bait to lure and arrest my aunt.”

“Spawned from a family of criminals,” because the El’s disobeyed the Council’s orders and sent their children off to Earth and Kara’s Aunt is an eco-terrorist. “And liars.” her voice is coarse, raw from nights spent muffling her sobs and disuse. Blue eyes turn away from the ghost before her, turning toward Lena, wide and full of wonder. “Quite a pair we make.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m using her to connect with you...” Kara whispers because she wants Lena to know that she’d never purposely use their similarities in an attempt to temper Lena’s wrath. “I know about betrayal. I know about using love and trust in order to get what you want.” she needs Lena to believe that she wouldn’t, not now or ever, manipulate her by using their shared yearning for their biological maternal relations.

“Lena, I’ve been betrayed countless times by people that are supposed to love and protect me.” Kara approaches. She’s never been one for sport, always too afraid to use too much force, but recognizes that this is her last chance. This is her Hail Mary pass and Lena is her end zone. “My greatest sorrow is that I did the same to you,” her voice trembles, unable to sustain control as her emotions seep through. “You who deserves only the best the universe has to offer and more.” Kara hopes and prays to every deity listening that she’ll be heard, that it isn’t too late, that she can still be a part of Lena’s life. “I am so sorry, Lena, that I hid from you for so long.” she doesn’t bother hiding her tears, lets them flow freely. “I know it doesn’t, can’t, mean as much now but that’s why I’m willing to do whatever it takes. No more half-truths and feeble excuses.” she stands before Lena. “I promise to be totally and completely honest with you from now on, Lena Luthor.”

“Why?” there are so many questions floating in her mind yet this one word seems to do all her queries justice.

Kara glances at Lena then, trying to figure out what exactly Lena’s asking, trying to narrow down what Lena wishes to know. Beneath her ire lays a haze of confusion, which Kara can easily see through her kryptonite gaze.

There she understands the question Lena’s posing, what she’s truly asking, what she wishes to know most of all.

“I used to tell myself it was to protect you.” Kara smiles a smile that doesn’t brighten her blues. “But that was a lie.” she’s come to terms with her cowardice. “Truth is, I was protecting myself.” She begins her confession, unwilling to deny her truth any longer. “Not from you though,” she assures because Lena being a Luthor has never been an issue for Kara. “It was never about you.” Kara reveals. “I wanted someone who I can be myself with. Someone who just saw, understood, accepted me as I am.” she hopes her truth will be accepted, prays to the Gods of old of Krypton, to the mighty Rao and the benevolent Rea, that Lena will believe her truth. “Because somewhere along the way, I stopped hiding with you.” Lena knows there’s more so she remains quiet. “I wanted to protect what I have with you for as long as I could.”

“I’ve come to terms with the fact that Clark is a citizen of Earth.” Kal-El died along with Krypton. “He can learn about our history, how to speak in our tongue, how to read and write, but he will never understand what it means to be a Kryptonian.” for Clark, it’s nothing more than a distant dream, their civilization are stories he learned, things he’ll never experience. It’s a life he never lived. A life he wants no part of. “There are parts of me that I still hide from Alex and Eliza,” she confesses a truth that even her sister hasn’t noticed. “At first it was because they were strangers that Kal-El forced onto me, then it was Jeremiah’s presumed death.” she discloses, tone filled with guilt. “He joined the DEO just so they wouldn’t take me.” Lena rolls her eyes as she thinks about Clark, the mighty Superman, about how that whole mess could have been avoided if he hadn’t passed his responsibility to a family of human scientists with no means of fighting off government agencies. “We believed he died on a mission but what happened to him was worse.” the urge to reach out to Kara and offer comfort is becoming harder to fight off as she processes this new information.

“All I felt was guilt and fear in those early years.” Kara still feels the way they wrap themselves around her heart, pulling and pulling with a force her Kryptonian strength cannot fight off. “I was afraid of their rejection.” Lena knows how frightening it is, to be alone. “My own blood sent me to live with strangers who could barely stand to look at me with anything other than pity. I believed it would be even easier for the Danvers to rid their selves of me if I didn’t do what they wanted so I hid as best as I could and I just got used to hiding.” her eyes begin to well with tears that should have been shed long ago. “I hid my love for science,”

 --------

Lena’s eyes are squinting behind her safety goggles as she glares at the infernal machine before her. She’s certain it’s mocking her, reminding her of her shortcomings, and she’s trying to ignore the want to reach out and fling the contraption against the nearest wall.

There’s a soft whoosh and a breeze. She looks up and finds Supergirl in her lab. Her brow arches upward questioningly and at least the heroine has the sense to look apologetic.

“I only detected your heartbeat so I figured I’d come and see how you’re doing.” she observes Lena’s small pout and her narrowed eyes. “What seems to be the problem?” she asks as she floats toward Lena who’s all decked out in her lab gear.

“Relays aren’t working.” she sighs in frustration. “It keeps shorting out.”

“I see.” she sends Lena an assuring smile before turning her attention toward the machine and the schematics. “Maybe if you put a converter here,” she points at the drawing. “It’ll distribute the power more evenly.” Lena considers Supergirl’s plan and nods emphatically.

“You really are a lifesaver!” she’s practically vibrating with glee.

“Just a fresh pair of eyes.” she downplays her contribution. “I’m guessing you’ve been at this since this morning?” she takes Lena’s silence as confirmation that she’s been working nonstop for roughly twelve hours. “If you’d given yourself a break you’d have been able to figure it out yourself.” Lena shakes her head.

“Maybe.” Lena knows better than to argue with Supergirl’s high opinion of her. “Seriously though, is there anything you can’t do?”

“Cook.”

“No one’s perfect.” it’s not like she doesn’t know other people who have trouble in the kitchen.

“You are.” Lena’s brow rises and Supergirl tries her hardest to suppress the blush she knows is undoubtedly staining her heroic cheeks. “I learned a thing or two from my father. He was a scientist.” and she knows she’s risking a lot by sharing this little tidbit but she trust Lena’s not going to go looking for confirmation. “Being in a lab again like this, it feels…”

“Like you’re with him again.” and Lena knows because she feels her mom’s presence every time she eats a homemade chocolate chip cookie.

 --------

 "The fact that I miss Krypton,” her voice breaks as she releases the truth she’s held onto since she arrived on Earth. “So much…”

 --------

“We didn’t really have a lot of fruit where I’m from and the ones we did have were cultivated by seeds that had been exported from different places.” Kara murmurs as she wraps her lips around Lena’s fork. The brownish fruit chunk disappears into her mouth. “It’s just like it.” she marvels as the flavor dances against her taste buds. “I didn’t think I’d ever be able to taste this again.” and Kara looks at Lena like she’s given her the keys to the universe.

“I’m happy to be of service.” she tries her best to reign in the butterflies puttering about in her midsection.

“It was a special fruit.” Kara continues as Lena pushes the plate nearer. “It was harvested around the time of our national holiday.” Lena watches as Kara’s gaze brightens as her eyes are filled with glimmering glints. “We’d spend the day seeing the newest experiments and I got to visit the animal enclosures.” the idea of keeping animals solely for company was not encouraged on Krypton.

The animals they’d procured from other planets had a purpose. Everything and everyone on Krypton had a purpose.

But during Ul’Rax Dno, the people came together for one reason: to celebrate Krypton. Different guilds came together in order to arrange events and show the people they were right to put their faith in the Council. It was a time when the people of Krypton rejoiced all their accomplishments as a community. It was the one of the few occasions when they were allowed to be frivolous.

“Sounds festive.” Lena makes a note to have a steady supply of Chico brought in every other month as Kara devours the rest of the fruit.

--------

 “Memories of my family,” she thinks of her blood, the ones who are gone, the ones who she endeavors never to forget.

--------

 Kara stands, her gaze trapped on the beautiful while floral arrangement situated on top of the coffee table in Lena’s office. She steps closer, sparing Lena an apologetic glance.

“They’re beautiful.” she leans in closer, inhaling the flowers sweet aroma. She draws back, eyes closed, and Lena wonders what she’s dreaming of. Lena’s met with a longing gaze and she can’t help how her heart twists at the sight. “What are they?” her voice cracks so subtly that Lena would have missed it if she weren’t paying such close attention.

“Plumerias.” Kara nods in acceptance.

“They remind me of my mother.” not of Eliza. No, her flower is a soft white lily. “My birth mother.”

--------

“My dreams of destruction,” her fear of doom being inevitable.

--------

She wakes to the sound of muffled cries. They’re soft and nearly indiscernible but Lena’s ears are well trained, having spent many years listening to her own cries in the dark of night.

She reaches out, brushing her hand along Kara’s face, pushing the stray blonde locks back. The tips of her fingers meet Kara’s forehead. She watches as Kara’s breathing evens, the crease on between her brows disappears. Kara sighs and it’s as though her breath releases the nightmares trapped in her mind. She relaxes under Lena’s touch and just as Lena retracts her hand, she’s met with bright blues.

“Lena….” Kara whispers tentatively. “I’m sorry I woke you.” it isn’t her dream that wakes her, not this time, but Lena’s rather rapid heartbeat.

“Don’t be.” as always, Kara reaches out first, pausing just before she can lay a hand on Lena. Kara receives a nod and she takes the mile, wrapping her arms around Lena as she buries her nose on the crook of Lena’s neck. Kara’s trembling form prompts the next words from Lena’s mouth. “I’m here for you.” she means it even though Lena’s not used to this, to comforting someone, to being the source of someone’s solace.

She runs her hand through Kara’s wavy blonde locks, her other hand situated around Kara’s waist. Lena keeps drawing comforting circles on Kara’s back until she can feel her breathing evening on the skin of her neck.

“I have nightmares sometimes,” Kara whispers as though she’s shared a best kept secret. “Of losing everything again.” she lifts her head from Lena, wanting to look into those Kryptonite greens instead of her perfectly cut collarbone. “Of losing you.” her hand moves, cupping Lena’s jaw, as she presses their foreheads together.

And Lena wishes she could tell Kara that it’s something she never has to worry about. But with her life being threatened at least once on a weekly basis, she finds herself unable to utter the words.

She’s not going to start lying to Kara now.

--------

 “My planet exploding into nothing,” the life she lives is one filled with destruction.

--------

Her vision is blurred. All she can see is that bright burning yellowish orange. She can feel the heat on her skin, growing closer and closer as she sinks to the ground, her lungs aching as they’re filled with smoke.

There’s no escaping the flames from the bomb that’s just been detonated and she’s always known she isn’t invincible.

She’s just been lucky but to tell the truth, she never imagined that she’d die like this, burnt beyond recognition. She thought her death would come from the bullet of a well-hidden sniper up on a tall building during a televised speech.

She never thought she’d go out like this. But perhaps this won’t be so bad. The smoke she’s inhaling is sure to kill her before the actual fire does.

She takes some comfort in that as she coughs. She can swear she’s hearing her name being called but she attributes it as a side effect to her brain lacking oxygen at the moment. She’s trying to count the seconds until consciousness is lost but she keeps getting stuck on the number 8. 7 comes after, or before, she isn’t sure now.

Just then, she feels something on the back of her legs, and something else on around her back.

She feels like she’s being lifted and suddenly the heat is gone. There’s a cold breeze blowing through, one that she feels on near her face, before she swears she feels like she’s flying. She tries to open her eyes and all she sees is a blur of blonde waves.

When she wakes she sees Supergirl standing by her bedside. The soot on her face and the scorch marks on her suit let’s Lena know she hasn’t left her side since she saved her from the fire.

Supergirl’s suddenly at her side, her hands clasp gently around Lena’s as her lips press against Lena’s forehead. Lena feels something wet dripping on her cheek and when Supergirl draws back, not too far but enough for Lena to see her features, there are tears flowing freely from her cheeks.

And she knows they’re friends, knows that Supergirl cares about her, but she never thought it possible that the caped crusader felt this much.

This sort of behavior is something she expects from Kara yet Supergirl’s affections aren’t entirely unwelcome. Unexpected yes, but not at all undesired. Lena sends her a small smile and Supergirl releases a breath in relief.

“Thank you.” Lena thinks Supergirl’s tired of hearing this from her mouth.

“You never have to thank me.” her reasons for saving Lena aren’t at all altruistic. “I’ll always save you.” Supergirl professes. “I won’t lose anyone else.”

 --------

“Pieces of all I’ve ever known and loved flying past before I was enveloped in darkness.” she carried her suffering throughout galaxies.

 --------

The elevator jerks to a stop. Her eyes flit toward the top of the doors, where blue digits indicate that they’re somewhere on the 20th floor. Suddenly they’re engulfed in pitch black and Lena doesn’t have the time to wonder why the emergency lights aren’t turning off because there’s a hand gripping hers.

Kara’s shaking so Lena draws her closer, keeping their hands bound, while wrapping her free appendage around the frightened woman’s waist.

“Sorry….” Kara’s burying her head on Lena’s shoulder. “I’m a little claustrophobic.” her admission garners a soft hmm and more comforting circles around her lower back. “Maybe nyctophobic too.” Kara’s now wrapped her other appendage around Lena’s neck. “I… I was trapped once…” she thinks of the Phantom Zone, the never ending shadow. “It was so dark and it went on forever.”

“You never have to apologize for this, Kara.” Lena murmurs softly in her ear. “We all have things that scare us.” she’s not going to judge seeing as she has her own fears. “It’s nothing to ever be ashamed of.” she assures.

“Easy for you to say.” she knows Lena’s striking up a conversation as a means of distraction.

“I may not be afraid of the dark and tight spaces,” she bites her lip as she readies to share her secret fear, one that not even Lex knows of. “But I am afraid of naked mole rats.” Kara shrinks back and Lena’s greeted with wide eyes. “A girl at school kept a few in her room and one night they got loose.” she recounts that horrid night. “One of them found their way into my room. Somehow the bloody thing got on my bed and bit me while I was asleep.” she shudders at the memory of waking up with the hairless ball of wrinkles gnawing at her.

“I’ll never let a naked mole rat near you again.” if it were anyone else, Lena would think she’s being mocked.

But the kind compassionate soul that is Kara Danvers would never display such cruelty. Kara’s not the type to prod and poke at wounds that have yet to heal so Lena accepts her promise and the hug that follows after.

--------

The floodgates open. Each confession serves as reminders of conversations between Kara and Lena, Lena and Supergirl. She realizes the woman was actually sharing her truths throughout the course of their friendship and Lena can feel her anger dissipating slowly.

It is however replaced with dejection and something resembling disappointment.

“With you and only you,” a sliver of a smile finds its way to Kara’s lips. “I never felt like I had to hide.” because, save for the vital piece of information regarding her origin, every version of Kara always shared her deepest darkest truths with Lena.

--------

Another attack at L-Corp. This time, she isn’t as fortunate to escape entirely unharmed. She’s sporting a sprained wrist but what’s worse is that two of her employees, security guards Kyle Larson and Heui Shin, were caught in the line of fire and a few others are in the hospital.

Jess already knows to take care of the bills, the funeral services, whatever else the families need in the future.

She knows it’s not enough. It never is. There will still be the threats of lawsuits and headlines highlighting her failure and the dangers of being associated with a Luthor. She’s already anticipating yet another dip in the stocks. She thinks of the angry white men that’ll no doubt be insisting on having her head. She knows she can hold them off, knows they’re all bark with no bite.

She thinks of the press once more.

Thinks of Kara and how she’d turned down the woman’s offer to spend the night despite how her body seeks Kara’s warmth.

Lena thinks of everything but the barrel of the 9mm that was pointed at her head earlier today. She scoffs. With so many brushes with death, one would think she’d be utterly used to the entire ordeal.

Yet no matter how acquainted she has become with Death, fear and panic still maintain their hold.

She hears the sound of balcony doors she’s left unlocked opening. She hears shuffling, a muffled thud, a zipper unzipping, and her bed dips with the added weight of one caped crusader whose presence has also become a constant in Lena’s danger filled life.

Lena doesn’t bother turning. She doesn’t need to since Supergirl no doubt can tell by her biometrics that she’s in fact awake.

“You don’t have to be strong around me,” Supergirl whispers as limbs that can easily carry a nuclear submarine out of the waters wrap around Lena’s trembling frame. “We can be vulnerable together.” the rest of the night fades as they remained entwined.

--------

Lena believed her then. Only now does she realize how deluded she and Supergirl, Kara, had been to actually think that the word together would bode true for them.

Together.

It’s a dream she never should have promised Lena, not when Kara struggled with the very concept.

Because Kara Danvers and Supergirl had to be separate.

Kara Danvers. A reporter from Catco Media who lives in a rather large studio apartment in a part of the city that used to be infested with crime. She has a group of close friends whom she frequently shares game nights with. She loves movie nights and pot stickers.

Supergirl. A refugee of Earth from a planet long destroyed. The heroine of National City who’s saved the city and the world more than a handful of times despite her short career as a caped crusader.

But now Lena can see who she really is.

Kara Zor-El, daughter of the associate head of Krypton’s science guild, Zor El, who concocted a plan to burden two children with the continuation of their entire civilization along with his brother Jor-El who is the father of Kal-El, known as Clark Kent to those closest to him but Superman to the rest of the world.

Kara Zor-El, daughter of Alura formerly of the house of Ze, head of the Military guild who served as judge and jury for Krypton. The only niece of Astra, war criminal who tried to bend Earth to her will only to be slain by Kara’s Earth sister Alex Danvers, daughter of Jeremiah and Elizah Danvers, Kara Danvers’s adoptive family who didn’t always make her feel loved and expected her to hide and conform in order to belong.

She was a girl who watched her world crumble into nothing at the tender age of twelve and had to find the strength to carry on, to survive for a legacy that lived only within her, in a strange unknown world.

A survivor who carries with her the remnants of a history that’s doomed to be forgotten if she continues hiding, a foreigner who still thinks in her native dialect, the vernacular always resting on the tip of her tongue where she believes it’s destined to die unless she can drown out the voices of dissent and finally muster the will to speak.

She knows Krypton’s methods and manners by heart after living by the expectations of the Council. She is destined to be the lone conveyor of a culture, an entire civilization, whose existence hangs on her memories because Kal-El is first and foremost Clark Kent of Earth.

She wishes to make the Earth a better place, not because it’s the planet she’s living in, but because she doesn’t want it to burn like Krypton continually does in her nightmares.

She’s an intellectual who prefers to read from books instead of tablets. She loves to feel pages against her fingertips instead of looking at them on a screen because she knows how quickly one can stop feeling the sensation of an ancient Kryptonian codex. She’s a writer who wishes to dispense the truth, knowing how secrets can lead to decay and how pride can spawn the desolation of so many lives.

Most of all, Kara Zor-El is someone who is more than willing to lay her life for Lena. Not because she’s a citizen to protect, but because somehow Lena’s managed to carve herself into Kara Zor-El’s heart.

 

Chapter Text

Day 5

Logic is something Lena craves at the moment, a reprieve from overwhelming emotions, one that Kara’s more than willing to provide. She doesn’t want to push for more than Lena is willing to handle and yesterday had been loaded with truths that Lena’s undoubtedly still processing.

So they’re back in the science room. This time Kara is showing her archives of different inventions that made life much easier on Krypton.

“Oh!” Kara’s remembering L-Corp’s search for a renewable clean energy source and while Earth’s science is still ways away from Krypton’s scientific successes, she knows that if anyone can find a way to bridge the gap it’s Lena. “I think there are some plans in here somewhere,” she’s sifting through the catalogue until a hand on her wrist causes her to pause.

She doesn’t bother hiding her shock because for the first time since they arrived, Lena has reached out to her and her eyes, those deadly shades of Kryptonite, are void of spite and ire.

There’s anguish, pain still lingering from being tricked by her once most trusted friend, and a hint of confusion because there’s no doubt in Kara’s mind that Lena’s wondering how to proceed, how to conduct herself with Kara, how to operate within their relations now that most of her cards have been dealt for Lena to see.

Their relationship is tentative.

Just because she’s no longer shooting furious glances Kara’s way, just because she’s accepted her truth, doesn’t mean she’s earned Lena’s trust and her affections.

Kara knows she has to work way back into Lena’s heart.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to figure it out.” Kara’s been more than helpful with sharing Kryptonian theorems and technology. Blue eyes peer questioningly and she turns away, taking her hand from Kara’s arm and placing it back on her side. Just because she misses her warmth doesn’t mean she should succumb. Not yet. “I,” she hopes Kara won’t hold it against her. “It’s a little bit like cheating, isn’t it?” getting the answers to questions people didn’t even know to ask.

“It’s called having an advantage.” Kara responds in amusement.

“Of course you’d say that.” she’s referring, of course, to Kara using her powers to fight crime and evildoers and Kara doesn’t take offense.

“I kind of have to use everything I have to keep you around longer.” the confession brings forth an inquisitive brow and a tilted head from Lena. Before she can think on the statement longer, Kara’s bringing forth an invention on the holograph index that she knows will occupy Lena’s time. “Besides, I wasn’t given all this information for nostalgia.” Kryptonian’s are a practical people. “They sent us here not just so we can live, but for us to help.” yes, she was charged with caring for her infant cousin and protecting him from peril. “Clark just took a more direct approach and I wanted to follow in his footsteps but now.” now that she’s revisited Krypton, is remembering their true ideals, she knows this isn’t the only path she can take.

“Still, it seems underhanded.” Lena’s unaccustomed to this.

“You’re not used to things being handed to you.” she knows Lena has earned, strived and toiled, for everything she has. “And maybe I am just offering this to appease my guilt,” Kara’s not going to shy away from her reasons. “But it doesn’t change the fact that this could benefit billions,” she’s only speaking truths. “And there’s no one else I’d trust with this knowledge.”

“You shouldn’t put so much faith in me.” Lena turns away from those trusting blues.

“You’re a Luthor in blood and name but that’s not all you are, Lena.” Kara’s faith in Lena has never wavered because she’s familiar with Lena’s heart, knows it inside and out.

“And you’re the authority on who I am?” as always, Lena’s too stubborn to listen.

“There’s darkness with in me too.” Kara knows the struggle all too well and given what she’s shared about her not so innocent ancestral history, she’s not the only person in the room whose veins are tainted. Both their families are responsible for the spilling the crimson of innocents. “The fact that you’re so worried about hurting others, that you’re so guilty for things that you haven’t done and will never do,” because she is taking all the precautions to assure that she’ll never stray down the Luthor path, “Means you’ll never be like them.” and Lena’s almost forgotten how much Kara believes in her.

“Your faith in me will lead to your doom.” her warning earns a grin.

“Maybe,” Kara turns towards the holographic display. “I wouldn’t mind though.” she confesses. “As long as I’m by your side.” she whispers so lowly that Lena almost doesn’t hear.

Kara speaks as though it would be a privilege to travel a dark path with Lena as company. She makes Lena feel like she’s worth the risk, that she wouldn’t regret her demise and downfall if it came at the hands of Lena. There’s such reverence in the way Kara regards her and the reason has become impossible to ignore.

They spend the rest of the afternoon studying designs in the science room. Dinner had been a rather quiet event as they had meal whilst playing the Kryptonian chess because it’s a lot like the Star Wars version of chess. Of course the rules are different from Earth chess but Lena’s a natural so she picks up the game rather easily.

It’s Kara’s way of getting back into her good graces but she’s too absorbed to even have the will to get annoyed at Kara for knowing her weakness.

“I’d forgotten how much fun it was.” Kara says as they walk slowly towards their sleeping quarters. They decided to call it a night after Kara released a yawn. The red atmosphere really has rendered her powerless. It’s a strange feeling yet as she glances at her companion, she can’t help but feel as though she’d rather spend the rest of her days like this, powerless and free, if it means being with Lena. “So thank you for playing.” her grin is small but Lena can feel her gratitude. “But most of all,” she looks deep into those Kryptonite depths. “Thank you for staying.”

“I didn’t have much of a choice.” because her heart, broken or not, apparently can’t resist Kara.

“You’re not a prisoner. I offered to...” return you is what she can’t bring herself to say. She finds herself unable, unwilling to allow the idea of ever parting with Lena. “I can take you back to National City.” she says instead.

She wants nothing more than to keep Lena, always.

“That’s...” Lena murmurs softly because she knows, deep beneath the anger that’s all but faded thanks to Kara’s honesty, that the wounds of betrayal are undoubtedly healing due to the profuse demonstration of Kara’s care. Though she’s not quite ready to admit that Kara is her always. “That’s not what I meant.” she can’t muster the strength, courage, to clarify.

“Still,” Kara doesn’t want to pry, knows she’s lost all rights to pressing Lena for things after she’s withheld the truth for so long. “Tell me and I will take you back if that’s what you wish.”

There’s a purpose for all this sharing and showing. Kara’s intentions aren’t magnanimous. She’s revealing everything, allowing Lena to discover all there is to know about her, in order to achieve her goal. All of this is necessary. And there’s no need to wonder exactly why Kara’s willing to put so much effort into ensuring that Lena remains at her side. Still, Lena can’t utter the words, can’t bring about the confirmation herself because she knows that in their time together, between the years they’ve spent culminating this bond between them, the lines between friendship has blurred. It’s been undeniable with how Kara is and while Supergirl hasn’t been quite as obvious, Lena definitely knew she isn’t just an average citizen in the heroine’s eyes.

She thinks of how Kara’s hands always sought her out, of how Supergirl always found the strength to be there in her time of need, the words of comfort, the pasts they shared with one another and no one else, Kara’s longing looks, and Supergirl’s protectiveness.

It goes well beyond the call of simple friendship.

She’s not dense or that blind to be unaware. Kara’s hovered over her person way too closely, always reaching out to touch the deepest parts of her, and Supergirl’s always glaring at Lena’s opponents like she wants to set them on fire. Besides, if Kara and Supergirl have one thing in common, it’s their lack of restraint when it comes to showering Lena with their affection.

“And what about you?” she leans back to take full view of Kara’s person.

This woman before her, Kara Zor-El, is completely familiar yet she isn’t like Kara Danvers or Supergirl. She’s less skittish, though still fidgety when she’s trying to push through her doubts and fears, but she doesn’t flounder when faced with adversity. There’s a certainty to her unlike the other two, her other selves, these versions of her that Lena’s met on separate occasions and Lena knows why.

The Kara before her knows exactly who she is and what she wants.

Kara Danvers and Supergirl were honest and pure yet they were both tinged with hesitance. At first Lena believed they were merely being cautious because of who she is. The more time she spent with both Kara’s, she understood that it’s simply who they had to become.

“Me?”

Yet now it’s apparent to Lena that Kara’s apprehension and Supergirl’s uncertainty were caused by the fact that those sides of her were charged with secrets that bled through her daily lives.

Kara Danvers was lost. A woman who didn’t know where she belonged but desperately wanted to. Supergirl had a clear mission, to save the world, but she wasn’t clear on the exact parameters, the how. Kara Zor-El is a perfect mixture or both yet as she stands before Lena she’s filled with conviction.

There’s only Kara and the last truth she’s itching to part with, one that involves Lena completely.

“What do you wish for?”

--------

She can feel those bright blue eyes on her form instead of the flat screen emitting warm colors that depict a young heroine continues her quest onto finding herself.

Her confession has led her Kara’s apartment on a Friday night.

She’d left work early so they can have dinner and continue their Disney Classics weekend because Kara simply would not accept that a friend of hers had never seen a Disney movie. In her defense, there weren’t a lot of chances to do so in the Luthor household or boarding school, her time often spent behind textbooks thicker than her arm, something Kara no doubt has gathered.

So now, here she is, trapped on Kara’s couch whilst she immerses herself in Kara’s Disneyfication lessons.

It’s the third week now since they began these movie sessions. They’d started with Snow White and then continued on in chronological order of release so Lena could have the full Disney experience like Kara did when she was first introduced to the Danvers’ collection.

Thankfully, Lena’s familiar with the Disney family. She’s even been to the Disney amusement parks. She’s been on the floats for publicity to promote either the company or a charitable institution though she’s never been on the rides.

Something that Kara will no doubt rectify once they’ve finished with her lessons.

Lena’s seen the merchandise and knows all the original stories the characters are based on yet she finds herself pleasantly surprised that she’s enjoying these Disney classics as much as she is. Though as she gazes through her peripheral, Kara’s finally turned her attention back on the screen, she can see her hostess is enjoying much more than she is.

It doesn’t surprise her that Kara’s such an avid Disney fan since her best friend is the personification of Sunshine and Unicorns.

The songs are catchy. The melodies fit the mood of the stories perfectly, the lyrics memorable as they weave through the narrative. She doesn’t wonder how Disney has managed to retain the hearts and interests of the greater audience for all these years.

They’ve slowly perfected the formula of their lead overcoming their obstacle, often discovering love whilst on their journey, and over time their female leads become more than damsels in distress waiting to be saved by their big strong male counterparts. Of course, there are stories that aren’t solely rooted on romance but familial or platonic love.

Still, there’s a clear villain who’ll be served their just desserts while the heroes live on. The formula is repetitive and redundant but they don’t dampen the warm fuzzy feels coursing through her entire person.

The theme song blasts through the speakers as the heroine and her love fade into the background.

Lena chooses this moment to rise from the couch and eject the movie from the player. She diligently places it back in its case before perusing Kara’s extensive movie collection for their next viewing. Her hand reaches out toward the title next Disney classic, pausing when she hears Kara’s dulcet tones.

“Thank you,” Kara never fails to capture Lena’s attention. “For indulging me.” she knows there are far more important things that Lena should concern with herself with, yet she’s there every Friday night. “I know it’s childish.” Lena’s protests are hanging on the edge of her throat. She keeps the words there, knowing Kara isn’t done. “A grown woman like me being so obsessed with Disney movies?” she’s doing that thing when she’s faced with a bout of shyness, ducking her head and fiddling with the rim of her glasses.

“I don’t think it is.” Lena’s being nothing but honest.

“No?” yet Kara needs to be certain, needs to know that Lena doesn’t think less of her, at least not yet.

“Have you forgotten that one of my projects ongoing at L-Corp is about the creation of an actual light saber.” Lena doesn’t have any right to judge or mock, not that she ever would, Kara for the things she’s passionate about. “What about these ones?” she yanks out the ones that are furthest down the shelf. “We’re not watching these?” she pulls out the blu ray copies of ‘The Hunchback’, boxed sets of ‘Pocahontas’, and ‘The Fox and the Hound’, titles that were never on Kara’s list to be viewed.

“I’d rather not…” her head bows down as she tries to avoid those observant Kryptonite depths. “I only watch those on certain days…” the days when she wants to remember things that matter only to herself. “I uh, don’t really care for the…” the way they finish. The way they end and leave her wanting. “They’re not the traditional Disney endings.” and Lena suddenly understands why Kara loves Disney movies and Rom Coms, why she strays from horror and thrillers and anything that bodes darkness and doom. “Not completely sad since they’re kids movies.” she smiles a smile that doesn’t gleam. “They’re kind of happy but not really.”

They must have stuck closer to realistic endings, concluded the stories closer to the source material, which Lena had sort of expected in the Little Mermaid.

She places the movies back before pulling out the next title for them to watch. Lena puts the disc in before taking a seat on the edge of the couch, saying nothing as Kara lays her head on Lena’s lap. She busies herself by tangling her long slender fingers against Kara’s golden threads.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a happily ever after.” Kara deserves nothing less.

The familiar Disney title credits appear and Lena can’t help but think they’d incur much more cheer if that infamous castle is tinged in the same blue as Kara’s eyes.

--------

Kara Danvers would probably wish for truth and justice. Supergirl would wish for peace, for the safety of the Earth and all its inhabitants, native or otherwise.

“For you to be happy.” Kara confesses as Lena tilts her head in appraisal.

“And?” because it’s not only Kara who has spent her time observing every detail in her demeanor. Lena too has spent enough time knowing Kara. She can easily tell there’s something else on the tip of Kara’s tongue. “Total honesty.” she reminds.

“I wish… for our story not to turn out like Tod and Copper,” she musters all her strength as she looks deep into those Kryptonite depths. She knows Lena had looked up the endings on Wikipedia after she told her that viewing the movies would result in a night in tears. “Or Pocahontas and John.” her muscles twitch, fingers aching to touch Lena’s smooth skin, yet Kara reigns in the impulse. She no longer has carte blanche regarding Lena. She’s skating on thin ice as it is so she hopes and prays that her words will serve as enough proof of her affections. “I…” Kara Zor-El is thoughtful, cautious with her words like a diplomat, but she doesn’t bother with facades like trying to maintain calm whilst in the face of a tornado. “I want nothing more than to be your ‘happily ever after’, Lena.”

 

Chapter Text

Day 6

“It’s hard to believe that all this came from just one tiny crystal.” Lena comments as she looks at the element protruding from the central hub.

They’re in the control room now, the center of this crystalized behemoth located in the icy middle of nowhere. It’s a small sliver that fits easily in the palm of Kara’s hand yet it’s responsible for the creation of this structure and most of its contents.

“Storing memory doesn’t take much.” Kara and Lena both know how much data can be stocked by a tiny USB after all. “But everything else,” things like forming building and sustaining the red Kryptonian atmosphere. “Involves a lot of power. Luckily, the gem is energized by the Earth’s yellow sun like I am.” she’s proud and has every reason to be.

“Humans really have only begun to scratch the surface.” she’d read about how Kryptonian crystals had the power to harness solar energy in the science room.

“The interior is mostly me though.” her smile is wide and gleaming. “The architecture of the building and the landscape were programmed into the crystal but I added a few things like the designs in the rooms.” Lena waits for her to continue. “The codex crystals and drawings are holograms from the crystal’s archives that I chose to display.” she runs her hand through them and Lena watches as Kara ghosts through the objects of a past only she remembers. “But the all statues we pass, I built myself.” Kara’s never been more thankful for her artistic talents. “I needed something…” she trails off but Lena can hear the words she on the edge of her mouth.

Something besides the Kryptonian images dangling in mid air. She wanted something solid and tangible against her hands that always ache to touch.

Lena’s gaze flickers toward Kara’s digits. She can see them dancing slowly as Kara’s arms quiver as she takes a step closer. Lena know that in this moment, from how Kara tries her best to keep her appendages locked at her side, that it isn’t the figures she carved from memory that she’s longing to feel. She’s wishing to experience Lena’s warm exterior but knows she no longer has freedom to simply reach out.

“You mentioned Kryptonian militant training to be mandatory in primary school. You were taught about battle strategies and combat.” Lena finds herself saying.

She’d learned that Kryptonian education was essentially cram school and the young ones were all taught the same until the children could demonstrate which area they excelled in and if they were fortunate enough to reveal an affinity for two or more areas in the Guild, then they would be allowed to choose which they would pursue for their future careers.

“Yes.” she’s uncertain where the conversation is heading.

She’s rewarded a mischievous grin as those bright greens sparkle with interest as she steps forward, her footsteps laden with agenda.

“Show me.”

Kara nods quickly and leads the way to a room they hadn’t visited yet. At first glance the room is much like the others. Only this time the things that hover midair are not harmless inventions meant to help. No, they’re filled with weapons and plans and a record of all Kryptonian’s wars and their victories.

“This was modeled after the council’s Kryptonian war room.” it’s time to show Lena the other side of the Kryptonian crystal.

This room contained proof that Kryptonians weren’t always a peaceful benevolent race. They were a race of mighty warriors as much as they were comprised of citizens with unimaginable intelligence. They were a race to be loved as well as feared.

“How would a training room look like?” Lena questions as she peruses the contents around the room.

“Like this,” she raises her hand and a module appears. She inputs a command and the holograms disappear. Lena can feel the floor beginning to change into something softer, no doubt much more shock absorbent for sparring session. “It really is my own piece of Krypton.” Kara doesn’t bother hiding her longing for her homeland.

Not with Lena.

“Don’t suppose you’d be willing to show me a few moves?” because she wants to feel, to touch.

She no longer has qualms with admitting she misses the feel of Kara against her, her warmth and the softness of her skin, but that doesn’t mean she’s comfortable with Kara knowing just how much she aches for her soothing caress.

Kara responds by spreading her feet, taking what Lena assumes to be her fighting stance, in the middle of the training ground. She watches as Kara moves, explaining how the strikes are to be delivered with absolute precision in order to guarantee results. The fight styles Kryptonians developed are not meant to be lethal, merely meant to incapacitate foes.

Lena stands within an arms reach in front of Kara. Her hand moves quickly to strike Kara who barely has enough time to side step. Luckily Lena has control of her movements, stopping just before she makes contact with Kara’s cheek. She cracks a smirk once she sees Kara’s jaw hanging open.

“Come on then.” Kara says after recovering from her shocked state, readying her stance as she faces off with Lena.

She doesn’t bother dissuading Lena, knowing her words will only fall on deaf ears. There’s also the small fact that Lena’s a disciplined fighter, a proficient boxer who practices many martial arts styles after learning from the most renowned teachers.

--------

She can hear the soft thudding, an already muffled sound of something being pounded on, so she zooms past the balcony without a second thought. Of course she wouldn’t be this frantic If Lena didn’t line the rooms in lead. Then again she couldn’t blame the woman for wanting her privacy. Besides, their friendship hadn’t been cultivated when Lena planned her penthouse.

Supergirl rushes toward the sound and hastily opens the door. Her mouth hangs open at the sight.

In the corner of a room stood Lena in the most figure hugging leggings she has ever seen. The creamy skin of her abdomen, arms, and collarbones are fully exposed as she dons on a sports bra.

“May I help you?” Lena holds the punching bag, stopping it from swinging, as she stares at the interloper.

“Apologies for barging in.” Supergirl realizes she’s been standing there with her mouth hanging open for far too long. “I was performing my rounds and I heard the strange noises.” she begins her explanation.

“Spying on me?” Lena smirks teasingly.

In the beginning she would have been suspicious but now, the heroine has saved her life countless times from numerous assailants. She supposes she’s earned a place on Supergirl’s watch list because the heroine’s making sure her efforts to keep Lena alive aren’t wasted. The youngest Luthor hopes Supergirl will never approach her for nefarious reasons.

“Not spying.” Supergirl assures. “Given your track record I thought it best not to leave things to chance.” Lena chuckles at that and Supergirl mentally congratulates herself for contributing in the ridding the air of awkwardness.

“Better to keep me safe than be sorry.” she understands Supergirl’s intentions since she’s spent more time being protected by those strong arms more than any other individual. “Though, I should probably apologize for taking so much of your time.” there are so many others Supergirl could be helping yet it seems Lena Luthor’s troubles are always on the forefront of the heroine’s list.

“It’s really not a problem.” the smile she bares is free from courtesy, unlike the measured grins she shares with the public. “What kind of a hero would I be if I let anything bad happen to my friend?”  

The words cause Lena to pause. She’d always believed their relations would be hard to define. Supergirl is one of the Earth’s greatest protectors and her brother was one of its greatest criminal masterminds. As for herself, Lena simply considered herself a civilian in constant need for protection due to her status.

“Friends?” she doesn’t bother masking her disbelief and Supergirl’s grin widens. As she thinks back to Supergirl’s visits, the nights she’d passed by and wave, or if she had time she’d actually share a conversation with Lena. She thinks of relaxed she is in her company, and of how Supergirl seems to reciprocate with her shoulders are no longer squared and her grins are freer and surely less practiced. “I’ll make it a point to never lock my balcony doors then.” they’re past the point where Lena would suspect Supergirl’s intentions.  

“That’ll probably make things easier.” she flashes her a grin. “And I promise to keep the property damage to a minimum.” Lena shakes her head in amusement. “At the very least I’ll try my best not to drop in and tear your ceiling a new one.” she watches as the small beads of sweat trail down Lena’s neck and she feels her throat dry.

“Given the frequency in which you save my life,” she finds herself saying instead of questioning both their sanities. “I could forgive a couple holes in my roof every now and again.” she peers at Supergirl, notices the slightly slack jaw and raises a questioning brow.

“I didn’t know you could box…” there’s a look in Supergirl’s eyes that Lena’s never seen before but before she can discern properly, Supergirl’s turning her attention toward the punching bag. “That you’re adept in,” she gestures toward the apparently athletic Luthor and the wooden fighting dummy in the corner of the room. “Martial arts.”

“My father insisted that Luthors have to know how to battle beyond the confines of boardrooms.” she takes off her gloves, unaware of those eyes on her form.  

“My mother used to say ‘the greatest wars are won with words’.” the memory brings a somber smile to her features. “My aunt believed relying on words gets you trapped in an endless loop. She tended to take a more physical approach to ending skirmishes.” her smirk is crooked now, full of mischievous memories.

“Must have made family get-togethers really interesting.” the comment earns her a bemused smile. “And what do you believe?”

“I suppose it depends on the people, person, you’re dealing with.” Supergirl has enough experience to know that logic doesn’t reach those whose minds are filled with hate and anger. “Some people can be reasoned with but some….”

“Some are beyond help or reason.” Lena knows the kind all too well. “Speaking of help,” she takes in Supergirl’s more than slightly disheveled appearance. Her hair is as always, immaculate, but there’s dirt on her cheeks and the tip of her nose. “Tough day at the office?” she also notes the soot covering her attire and the tattered edges of the flowing red cape.

“Just a regular skirmish with a cat in a tree.” Lena raises a brow in disbelief because she’s sure no feline would be able to dispense that much damage to the heroine. “Maybe there was a not so small fire downtown, a high speed car chase, and a small intervention with armed robbers.” she cites all she’s done within the past three hours. “And you?” Lena looks beautiful as always and Supergirl would say she looks ethereal if it weren’t for dark rims under her eyes.

“Just a regular skirmish with a chauvinistic board member.” Lena isn’t done with ridding herself of remnants of her frustration.

“Well,” Supergirl nods, suddenly understanding why Lena had taken to polishing her skills. “I’m sure you took him down a peg or three.” and somehow, Lena finds herself casually chatting about her day with Supergirl as they make their way toward her living room.

“With my words yes.” she can’t help but clench her fists at the memory of his insubordination.

“But you wish it were his face you were punching instead of the bag?” even without hearing her quickening heartbeat, Kara knows the anger hasn’t fully faded and can understand that feeling of being maligned when all she’s done is try and contribute good and kindness to the world.

“Would it be too worrisome if I admit to wanting to punch him in the face?” guilt courses through, flooding her veins.

“I won’t hold it against you if you did.” those Kryptonite greens look upon her in disbelief. “You know, I haven’t been a heroine for too long.” Supergirl reminds. “There are still a lot of people who compare me with Superman.” she understands, all too well, what it’s like to stand in the shadow of someone great.

“Well, I prefer your company more than that pompous cousin of yours.” Lena stills then, wondering if she’s crossed a line, but then relaxes when she hears Supergirl’s boisterous laughter.

Supergirl smiles, easy and relaxed, knowing there’s no malice behind the Luthor’s words.

“Likewise.” she finds herself saying. “And I apologize for cutting your training short.” she stays by Lena’s side as they enter the kitchen area. “I would have loved to see your right hook.” she admits as she accepts the glass of water Lena’s sliding her way.

“Yours is far better, I’m certain.” Lena replies after taking a swig off her drink, remnants of the liquid dripping from her lower lip down her neck before getting lost in the valley between her breasts.  

“I don’t know about that,” Supergirl focuses her gaze on those Kryptonite depths. “I bet without all the superness, you’d be able to send me flying to the moon and back.” she can feel the fluttering in the pit of her gut coupled with a floating incandescent desire to constantly be in Lena’s presence.

--------

She refuses to display weakness. Just because they’re on the path to mending doesn’t mean the wounds have fully healed. Kara’s betrayal no longer leaves a blazing inferno that scorches her very soul but there’s still pain, a slight stinging sensation whens she breathes, which she knows without a doubt can be soothed only by Kara’s gentle caring hands.

But she won’t say this outright. Lena won’t give permission so readily. She certainly won’t admit to missing Kara’s arms holding her with a tenderness that always succeeds to thaw the frost prickling against her ribs.

So instead she moves quickly, swiping her leg from underneath Kara, watching as the heroine falls flat on her back against the floor but not without reaching out and dragging Lena down as well. Somehow they land gracefully, both breathless, as Lena relishes in her victory and straddles Kara’s hips.

“You’re amazing.” Kara says in breathless awe of Lena.

Gold cascades in waves as Kryptonite depths observe the seemingly docile creature whose hands have now settled on her outer thighs. They seem to be inching upwards as she meets those usually bright blues that seem to have grown darker and suddenly Lena finds herself drowning in an ocean of want.

Kara settles her hands on Lena’s hips and her perfect brow arches upward because it’s quite unlike the bumbling Kara Danvers to be so bold or for the heroic Supergirl to be so wanton.

“Did you mean it?” Lena asks as Kara Zor-El lies beneath her.

Again, Lena knows she doesn’t have to elaborate. Kara’s peering deep inside, gazing right into her core so there’s no need for long winded explanations. Just a simple answer is needed to an unvoiced question.

In keeping with her theme for the week, Kara surges forward, wanting to show Lena exactly what she means instead of simply telling her.

Kara reminds with a gentle smile before she presses her lips against Lena’s and it’s not at all gentle or filled with trepidation like Lena constantly imagined a first kiss with Kara Danvers would be.

It’s also not at all urgent and powerful like she thought, fleetingly after seeing the heroine grab the side of the helicopter she was on as it was hurdling down, a kiss with Supergirl girl would be.

This first kiss is nothing like Lena ever dreamed as Kara’s hand, certain and strong, grips the back of her neck. Her tongue pushes past Lena’s teeth, sharp and consuming, as it meets the roof of Lena’s mouth and all Lena can do is fall into Kara’s chasm. Her thoughts lost, mind in an abandoned haze, as she grinds her hips onto the fervent body beneath her and for the first time since she can remember, Lena feels free. This is something she never realized she wanted, her mind free of consequence.

Lena pulls on her bottom lip. The moan released vibrates through her teeth and the way Kara’s absolutely flushed and full of desire allows Lena to realize that this, this is everything.

“Lena.” she murmurs breathlessly against Lena. “I know I don’t have a right to ask more of you but,” Kara’s hand rests on Lena’s cheek, her thumb grazing a prominent cheekbone. “Even if it’s only for the remainder of this week, please.” she’s never wanted anything more than to feel and taste every inch of Lena and bury her heart deep inside Lena’s soul where no force can ever tear her away. “Let me love you the way I always dreamed I should.” and there it is, the last bit of truth Kara has to part with has been shared.

And Lena understands her motivation for sharing her truths.

She understands the pull, the way want and desire draws them closer and closer, the way they become simply impossible to ignore, and it’s clear Kara feels the same.

“Convince me.” Lena urges and Kara’s unwilling to let another chance slip by.

Kara Danvers would probably stop to insist they move to a more appropriate place, a room with a bed, and reason that their first time shouldn’t be on a Kryptonian training room. Supergirl would be as proactive but she too would be worried about decorum. She’d use her strength and super speed to lay Lena down on a mattress.

But Kara Zor-El doesn’t bother thinking about propriety, about should and should not’s of first times.

She’s too focused on her need to trace her existence onto every inch of Lena. She’s too consumed by Lena to be bothered by the where’s and how’s. The softness of her cream colored skin and Lena’s warmth envelopes Kara and greed seeps its way into her veins. She wants to feel more, to run her tongue over until all she’ll taste for the days to come is Lena.

She doesn’t have access to her powers, doesn’t have the ability to carry Lena all the way on the other side of the fortress, but it doesn’t bother Kara.

Under this makeshift red sun she can lose herself in Lena without worry.

She flips Lena onto her back and doesn’t bother asking if this is okay though it isn’t fear that any questions would lead the other woman to change her mind that keeps her from pausing.

It’s clear that Lena has no designs to stop as she scrapes her nails, encouraging and urgent, against Kara’s taut lower back. She snakes her hands through Kara’s now open robe, pleasantly surprised that her hostess has decided to fully honor Kryptonian fashion and isn’t wearing any earthly undergarments unlike herself.

Kara gladly evens the score, divesting Lena of her shirt, before diving to drown in those slender arms and her welcoming mouth.

 

 

Chapter Text

She leans her shoulder against the frame of the entryway, eyes glued onto the figure meticulously cutting the cantaloupe on the pristine table as she observes those hands that worshipped her skin not too long ago.

Kara should be exhausted seeing as she doesn’t have the aid of the Earth’s yellow sun to replenish her energy yet as Lena watches, she notes how completely revitalized Kara is. She steps further into the Kryptonian kitchen, careful not to distract, as she decides to alert Kara of her wakened state.

She casually strolls into the room while Kara’s eyes are on the holographic screen before her, watching a tutorial about how to properly peel a pineapple, stopping when she reaches the bowls of fruit that have yet to be set on the dining table.

Lena reaches for a piece of watermelon and slowly pops it into her mouth. Waves of gold turn and she’s faced with wide yet so incredibly warm bright blues. When the shock fades, Kara’s lower lip juts out, her disappointment apparent as Lena swallows the savory red fruit. Kara makes her approach, a plate of food in hand, as Xerbu makes its way out into the dining area.

“I was hoping you were tired enough to sleep in a little so I could bring you breakfast in bed.” because apparently Kara Zor-El is dead set on wooing Lena Luthor.

“So you did have agenda for exhausting me.” Lena’s tone is light and full of amusement. “Here I was,” her mirth is apparent. “Thinking you simply found me irresistible.” she bows her head in mock disappointment, shaking as she clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth, noting the taste of Kara.

Her flavor still lingers and Lena would give everything and more for Kara to be a permanent facet on her taste buds.

“Of course I do.” Kara sights a breath of relief. There had been the possibility that Lena would write their night off, that she’d return to her cold and distant ways, and the thought of not being able to touch and caress Lena brought upon an unspeakable torment which rattled her bones. “I’m not at all sorry about last night.” she couldn’t be blamed for taking advantage of Lena’s lack of resistance yet she wonders whether or not the same could be said for her companion.

“Neither am I.” Lena assures because she knows Kara’s no doubt wondering if she’d crossed the line, pushed Lena’s boundaries to the brink beyond the point of no return. Right now, Kara’s letting her know that she has full control of the situation, that she’s letting Lena take the reins and steer the course in this most recent change of their relations. “At least I hoped my enthusiasm would relay that.” no doubt last night had complicated things between them and of course Kara’s revelation doesn’t help matters but Lena chooses not to acknowledge these matters at the moment.

They can ignore everything else for now, for the rest of their days spent in Kara Zor-El’s Fortress, and continue basking in their isolation from the rest of the world.

“I didn’t know whether I was just projecting my hopes.” they hadn’t talked, mouths too preoccupied with feeling, tasting, and wanting to formulate a sound other than moaning and groaning each other’s names. “If you were just too caught up in the moment.” and Lena can hardly fault her, seeing as the majority of their time at the fortress, her guest would only look at her contemptuously.

Her eyes drift toward the creamy white which is now marred with a reddish hue and the marks on the curve of her collarbone.

Flashes of their time together last night, the heat off each other’s skin as they danced well into dawn, are burned into Kara’s memory. She remembers her lips sliding along Lena’s sharp jawline, her teeth against her collarbone, Lena’s hot mouth on her erect nipple, her tongue twisting before she took the teat between her teeth.

Kara feels the heat pooling in her lower abdomen and suddenly she’s craving something other than food.

It doesn’t help that Lena’s lips look even tastier than the strawberry she’s now popping into her mouth. Suddenly Kara’s feet make their approach toward Lena, setting the plates on either side of the Luthor.

“What is it?” Kryptonite stare so intently.

“You’re breathtaking.” her bright blues, dark once again, skim the features of the Goddess before her, not bothering to hide her hunger for Lena’s flesh.

She notes how Lena’s skin is now covered in bruises that also litter her own body. Their night filled with too much passion, desperation, frustration, and everything else in between yet neither of them seems to regret what had transpired and normally, Kara would want verbal confirmation, a definite assurance that Lena isn’t feeling remorseful.

However Kara finds herself entranced yet again. What pushes her to allow the fire to consume her once more, what convinces her to ignore the voices of doubt, is that all too familiar blue robe that wrapped loosely around Lena.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” she beckons Kara toward her, Kryptonite greens beaconing the Kryptonian nearer until she’s only an inch away from Lena. Her uncertainty is clear as her hands jerk. She doesn’t know whether or not she’s still allowed to touch. Lena had been willing last night but this midmorning might be a different story. “If my lack of resistance and clear reciprocation aren’t enough to convince you,” Lena’s speech is interrupted when Kara’s lips suddenly crash against hers.

Kara is proving yet again that she’s unable and completely unwilling to even try to resist Lena. She’s absolutely hopelessly enamored and she can’t find the will to stop herself from drowning, refuses to cease from taking Lena right then and there.

She pushes her against the table, hands gripping on Lena’s waist before she hoists her up onto the surface, mouth trailing from the Luthor’s lips down to the valley of her breasts, tongue dipping down before swirling against Lena’s hardening nipple. Her fingertips dance against Lena’s abdomen, skidding lower and lower until they reach her center.

Kara’s met with wet heat as Lena’s leg hooks onto her hips to pull her closer. She feels her, slick and ready. Kara takes a moment, pulls herself away from Lena’s breast, to gaze upon her magnificence.

Lena’s eyes flutter open, curious as to why Kara’s stopped her ministrations. She finds those blues glued onto her and if it weren’t for the clearly carnal expression on her face, she’d think Kara has changed her mind. Kara’s eyes remain on her and before she can question Kara, fingers find their way inside of her, and she’s gasping as the Kryptonian pulls and curls her middle and ring finger in her velvet walls. She makes sure to hit her palm onto Lena’s clit as she continues to drive herself further and further into Lena.

Her pace is gentle in the beginning as she takes note of the way Lena’s face contorts in pleasure, how Lena bites her lower lip as Kara slides in and out, cheeks flushing as she gasps and moans in approval of her lover’s actions.

But as she feels Lena’s walls beginning to tighten around her fingers, she quickens her pace.

Lena’s arching against the table as she begins to grind her hips, matching Kara’s hand as she continues her onslaught, pace relentless and vigor unyielding. Lena’s knuckles turn white as she grips the countertop. She feels the heat pooling in her abdomen, a pressure steadily forming, as she climbs higher and higher onto her peak. She gasps as Kara’s thumb circles her clit.

Once.

Twice.

And she’s completely undone yet Kara’s fingers don’t stop. Lena groans as she feels those slender fingers twisting and turning inside her still slick walls. Kara’s clearly not done learning the ins and outs of Lena and Lena knows better than to deter the heroine from pausing her studies.

If last night had taught Lena anything, Kara’s curiosity is as insurmountable as her lust for Lena.

Lena can’t be blamed for the scream she releases as she comes against Kara’s hand once more. Kara slowly drags herself out from Lena’s warmth and for about two seconds, Lena thinks that Kara’s finally relenting but the tongue against her folds proves her wrong. Kara’s intent on feasting and Lena’s all too content to be her first meal.

“You’d think after last night, you’d have gotten enough.” Lena manages to speak though her chest still heaves as she catches her breath as Kara continues to kiss her way up to Lena’s mouth.

“Never.” there isn’t a force in the universe, in all existence, which could ever douse the fire Lena sparks inside Kara.

It’s a promise that sounds suspiciously like a challenge, as though she’s daring Lena to continue beyond these walls so she can prove the genius wrong, and Lena can’t help the warmth pooling in between in her legs again because those bright blues have darkened once again and she’s looking like she’d rather have a mouthful of Lena than the bowl of strawberries situated by her side.

Her mother, father, and even aunt would surely be turning in their graves if they knew how she’d practically defiled their family crest but as Kara’s tongue buries itself in Lena’s slick folds, she can’t bring herself to care.

“It figures you’d want to have sex where we make food.” Lena remarks as soon as she’s recovered her ability to formulate a coherent thought.

“That’s… not the only reason.” her finger’s tracing the symbol, the same emblem Superman bares, her family crest, on Lena’s now widely open robe. “It looks good on you.” she declares, leaving no room for argument.

“Millions of people wear your logo.” Lena doesn’t understand the significance of her wardrobe.

“It’s different when you wear it.” she begins her explanation because she’s talked about their culture, touched upon the intricacies of family and the Council, but hasn’t really divulged things regarding courtship and marriage. “It… it feels like you.” green meets blue. “Like you’re a part of who I am.” Lena’s hand finds its way to the back of her neck and she doesn’t fight the pull that comes.

“It feels like I belong with you.” it’s a statement of fact that Lena can no longer deny.

Their lips meet in a tender embrace and Lena presses their foreheads against each other when they part. Kara’s hands are secured against her hips as her own are cradling the Kryptonian’s face.

“On Krypton, wearing someone’s crest means you are a part of the person’s family.” she explains. “Allowing someone to wear your crest is never done so casually.” it isn’t something you can take back, not unlike a sweater from a University that a former lover went to. “It’s an irreversible commitment.” she wonders if she’s scaring Lena off but then she feels fingers on the alloy hanging off her neck. “A ceremony is performed where two families can unite and one is bestowed the crest and colors of the more prominent household.” Kara reveals as steady blue locks onto magnificent green. “On some occasions, they even combine colors.”

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“It’s beautiful.” her gaze is on the metal peaking from between Kara’s shirt.

" It belonged to my mother.” she discloses. “The symbol is her family’s crest from her mother’s side.” Kara discloses. She’s long forgone the habit of being careful not to disclose too much information when it comes to Lena. “It’s been passed down to the women in her family.” she explains. “So we never forget our matriarchal household.”

“Exchanging familial symbols seems so gallant and formal.” Lena’s heard of a similar practice in Kasnia and Kerkistan before. “So no engagement rings?” eyes peer into those blues as she awaits her answer.

“I’ve never been a ring kind of girl anyway.” a small smile as she shakes her head gently. “You?”

“I like rings but I never really pictured this particular finger occupied.” she reveals as she wiggles the ring finger on her left hand. “I never really thought about what my wedding day would be like.” Lena was too entranced with reading about quantum physics and beating chess computers than to be consumed with the idea of romance and marriage. “Romance was never appealing.”

“Even now?” she’s sure she’s imagining the disappointment in Kara’s face.

Now Lena pictures a meadow filled with green and down the aisle, her bride dressed in a long flowing white gown, looking immaculate as her golden hair shines as bright as her smile, her bright blue eyes brimming with tears of joy as she waits for Lena to join her side so they can take a step closer towards their infinity.

“It’s different now.” she can admit this much. “And for you?” she pictures little Kara dreaming of her future husband. “What’s your Prince Charming like?”

“Kind. Smart. Well read.” Kara’s staring intently deep into her as though she’s hoping Lena will be able to decipher something behind her words. “Cultured, understanding, dark, and fair.” she smiles, amused as though she’s part of a joke she’s yet to share with Lena. “It certainly not a prince though.”

“A damsel then?” suddenly Lena’s dream is starting to seem more like it can be actualized.

“My queen.” a gentle correction.

Her eyes are true and blue as they gaze upon Lena who can’t help but feel that the comment is reserved just for her. Kara’s hand, always so warm and gentle, clasps her own and Lena can’t help the hope that simmers out of the chest.

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There’s a joke about lesbians and u-hauls, about moving too fast and being rash, but she doesn’t dare utter these words because Kara’s sharing something so precious about herself yet again. So instead of saying something mundane she leans close and presses her lips towards Kara, pulls her until they’re one.

Hours later, as Kara waits for sleep to come, her index finger trails the insignia of the house of El on the middle of Lena’s chest.

She prays she can carve herself deep into Lena’s heart.