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Love, Yoongi

Chapter 10: Chasing Yoongi

Summary:

"I want us to be something that we can't."

"And what's that?"

"A normal couple."

Notes:

two updates ?!?!?!?!?! in a row ?!?!?!? and not a year gap ?!?!?!?!?!?

alright the thing is, i actually have many drafts ahead and so two chapters ago, i had like 3 more chapters made. now this is the last i could post as it's a satisfactory draft already. i have chapter 11 written but it's only 67% done and it's been that way for so long. thanks to the people who's commented, i now have the motivation to write again but i'm still not sure if i'll be able to do it in a short amount of time. but i really really do want to finish this fic and it's been what two (2) years T^T. i'll make sure to finish strong but no promises on quick updates sorry ;__;

enjoy this for now! and stay safe love youuu~~~

DISCLAIMER again, i tend to go back to chapters and edit them, either A LOT or a little i'm sorry for being a menace, i don't do it on purpose.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Seokjin wakes up to Youra crying on her cradle.

He pushes himself up and walks towards her, picking her up and swaying her as he sings to her. Slowly, her cries die down and he walks them back to his bed, lying down again. He puts her on top of his chest as she snuggles into it like a pillow. Seokjin smiles at the sight while soothing her back. 

Seokjin turns his head to see Yoongi, still fast asleep. There’s a frown on his face, perhaps from when Youra was crying and he was disturbed. Seokjin reaches for Yoongi’s forehead, nose and lips, and Yoongi relaxes to the touch, his frown dispersing. 

Seokjin sighs in relief at the sight before him. His fake husband slash fiance and their adopted baby. It has been a wild ride for him but Seokjin doesn’t mind. He had been scared to find out what he felt about it––about Yoongi––but now he isn’t anymore. Seokjin doesn’t mind that they’re doing this. Seokjin doesn’t mind being with Yoongi. He won’t have it any other way and can’t see anyone else he can be doing this with. 

He’s content, he thinks. And the wedding would be good. He hopes for more down the road for them but he’s happy with where they are now. He certainly wouldn’t think that this would be his sight when they were both hungover and confused in the first morning they had with Youra. 

Now, he’s here with both Yoongi and Youra and he couldn’t be happier. He doesn’t even know where he would be now if not with them. 

Seokjin sighs in relief and he listens to the sound of the waves outside and his muscles instantly relax.

It’s good. They’re good.

 

***

 

“Yoongi.” 

Yoongi hums but doesn’t look at Seokjin, focusing on Youra who only wants to escape from their picnic blanket. He lets her take a few steps outside of their blanket before collecting her again. 

“I want to ask you something.”

Yoongi sweeps Youra off her feet and she giggles as he smothers her face with kisses. “What is it, hyung?” he asks as he sits down, sighing at how Youra wants to stand up again. 

“Do you believe in love?” 

Yoongi blinks at Youra before finally looking at Seokjin, who has apparently opened up Yoongi’s first book. Yoongi raises an eyebrow at that, as Seokjin had once claimed he’s read all of Yoongi’s books. Seokjin has been re-reading his works, he thinks with a sort of warm feeling in his chest. It’s unsettling but in a nice kind of way. 

“Why?” asks Yoongi, shaking his head. “I thought we talked about this.” 

“Have we?” asks Seokjin. Yoongi hums, focusing on Youra once more, an attempt to not look giddy because Seokjin is re-reading Yoongi’s book. “Well, just wanted to know what you think about it based on this...book. I mean, it’s about your parents’ divorce, isn’t it?” 

Yoongi sighs. “Yeah. When it happened, when all of that happened...the first thing that came to my mind is this...entirely dark world with nothing but so-called criminals. And, I think love is more complicated than what it is in the real world. My stories have always depicted universes that are complex, with an overlapping string of systems, which I believe is how things always are.” 

Seokjin is silent for a moment and Yoongi looks up to Seokjin’s confused eyes. Dazed, but confused. “Hyung?” 

Seokjin shakes his head and clears his throat. “Makes sense. Nothing is ever easy, I get it, especially in our world.”

“Some things are,” shrugs Yoongi. “For some people, it is. Love’s as easy as that. I don’t know. I’ve seen worse than them, I guess.”

“You and me both,” smiles Seokjin.

It wasn’t a good thing. His parent’s broken marriage and Seokjin’s have the same ending, with an exception that Seokjin’s parents are gone. They bond over things that are not easy for others, things that have hurt them. 

The memories that Yoongi has written strangely in books have always haunted him and he’s never had anyone else to share them with, to talk over. With Seokjin, of course, it’s an exception. Seokjin who has been through the same, Seokjin who somehow is taking over his emptiness and drought, filling it with something he is unfamiliar with but, nonetheless, likes. 

Seokjin’s smile comforts him like nothing else and he wants this feeling for the rest of his life. 

 

***

 

Seokjin points at a figure on stage for Youra to see and the baby bounces up and down in his lap at the sight of her uncle Jimin moving gracefully across the stage, doing his final moves for the dance routine. 

The audience leaps off their chairs and claps for Jimin while the friends all cheer loudly and throw sticks of roses on stage. Jimin catches their eyes and laughs, blowing kisses to each and every one of them. Jungkook jumps up and down beside Seokjin and squeals and Seokjin looks at how his front tooth pokes out, resembling a bunny. He also notices that the man beside Jungkook is looking at him lovingly. 

Dongmin looks up and meets Seokjin’s eyes, freezing for a moment before turning around to face the stage again, clapping and whistling. Seokjin chuckles at that and makes Youra clap for her uncle. 

Backstage, everyone makes their way to congratulate Jimin loudly, in which he laughs at them and thanks them gratefully. 

Jimin holds the bouquet Namjoon had gotten him and squeals. “Thank you, guys. Ah, I’m really grateful you all could be here.” Then, he looks at Seokjin and quickly makes up for it. “I mean, almost all of you.”

Seokjin waves him off. “It’s fine. Let’s go get dinner.” 

Hoseok gasps. “Are you paying, hyung? Are you? Are you ?” 

Seokjin rolls his eyes and sees all of them are looking at him expectantly, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jungkook and Jimin having pouty faces. Seokjin sighs and gives in. “Fine. All on me.” 

All of them cheer. 

Seokjin is glad to say that he’s found new brothers ever since he’s moved to Seoul and he loves them and their cheers after he gives in to what they want. He really does.

 

***

 

“You know your brother’s already kept my number as Dongminie?” Dongmin says with a smug tone, giggling. “ Yup . We have reached that stage.” 

“Congratulations,” Jungkook deadpans. 

“Hey,” complains Dongmin, “you’re the one who told me to go on about all the updates about my relationship with him.” 

“But you sound weird every time you tell me about him like you have these... heart eyes for him. It’s gross.” 

Dongmin tsks. “Can you blame me? He’s about to be crowned chairman of the biggest industrial company in South Korea. You cannot .” 

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You once told me I would be the prince if the monarchy still existed.”

“Yeah, but the monarchy’s dead, baby.” 

Jungkook gapes and slaps his boyfriend’s arm. “Bitch.” 

Dongmin coos at how jealous Jungkook looks while Jungkook tries to escape from his hold, eventually giving in when Dongmin fully hugs him into his chest. Jungkook sighs. “You know this is kinda gross and gay, right?”

“Yep,” Dongmin says cheerfully, kissing the top of Jungkook’s head. 



***

 

One of the things Namjoon has learned in life is that things are easy when you allow it to be. Things are just difficult when you complicate yourself and he had complicated himself a whole lot, way before he met Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin. 

He was the only one whose life wasn’t given to him on a silver platter. He was born into a poor family and his mom was sick before he turned 7 and he had to find a way to earn money just to help out with hospital bills. 

His dad was grateful to him, always telling him he doesn’t have to do it and focus on his education. His mother got better and the bills were reduced and Namjoon was sent to a better school, where he met the three goofballs. 

Even though they were in different classes, it was as if fate had wanted them to meet so they did. In detention. After beating up a bully who was bullying Jimin. They’d been inseparable ever since. 

Namjoon had always been private, always kept things to himself, not wanting to burden the people he cares about. During the time where he was friends with Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin, he never told them about his family’s struggles while he saw the three of them always in perfect condition, with the best things from the best brands. He sleeps over in their big houses, three times as big as his, but Yoongi’s was on a different level. He is a chaebol heir, bound to a luxurious life. 

His mother relapsed when he was 13 and Yoongi found out because he wanted to complain how they’d never seen his house. Yoongi arrived during a bad time but it was quite perfect in its own way. Yoongi had found out exactly why Namjoon didn’t want any of them to visit. Yoongi then offered to pay for her bills, which the Kim’s denied. 

Namjoon still remembered it like the back of his hand. 

“You don’t have to do this, hyung,” Namjoon said once they were alone. “You don’t have to feel sorry for me.” 

“You think I’m doing this ‘cause I feel sorry for you?” Yoongi asked. “Your mother is dying and you think I feel sorry for you?”

Namjoon groaned. “Just...there’s a reason I didn’t want any of you coming there. Why did you?”

Yoongi scoffed. “Take a guess, dipshit. My dad’s fucking dumb ass visited just to collect some shit and give me a stink-eye. No one else is home. Hoseok and Jimin are out and guess what? You’re my best friend and the only person who knows how to calm me the fuck down. Jesus, Namjoon. Years of friendship and you think I’d do this because I feel sorry. Nice.” 

Namjoon’s lips quivered and he managed to apologize before he broke down to tears. Yoongi held him and Namjoon could tell Yoongi was sad too, given his father’s situation. But Yoongi had never been the type to cry so he didn’t.

From then on, Namjoon had come clean about his home life and the three met the rest of his family. Their families then gathered a lot here and there and Namjoon had never felt easier, just because he allowed himself to be. 

There were points in his life where he complicated himself again, like with his depression and Jimin. Namjoon wants to thank everyone surrounding him when he was unstable and completely on the edge because he wouldn’t have figured that his life would turn out like this. He wouldn’t have thought he’d end up with Jimin or have a family like the guys and Youra. 

He smiles at the thought and continues to work on the track he’s working on, dreaming about the date he has tonight with the love of his life. 

He thinks back again on all of the hardships that they all had gone through. When Namjoon talked to the rest of his two friends, they cried. Jimin, especially. He has been crying with Namjoon and for him ever since and holding his hand through whatever obstacle he needs to face. Namjoon can only be there for him too. 

Namjoon used to think that there is only one kind of love in this world but after that, he thinks there are so many kinds. His love for Jimin is one so blissful but passionate too, like he can hold on to this feeling for a long time before something decides to step on his hands and he falls. Namjoon wouldn’t let that happen, though. 

“So, I was thinking that since I now have immense free time, we can go to, like, Europe for a honeymoon. Seokjin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung really inspired me. Thoughts?” 

“Sounds great,” Namjoon smiles. “But, the thing is… Hoseok was the one who made that honeymoon happen. You’re like, indirectly implying that he inspired you too. And he would never let us forget it.”

Jimin laughs. “C’mon. Don’t you think he’s adorable? I think he’s just a puppy too excited and too happy.” 

“Yeah,” sighs Namjoon. “Too freaky too.”

“How is your mixtape going along, by the way?” 

Namjoon widens his eyes. “How did you know I was working on one?” 

Jimin shrugs. “You always have a special attitude when you work on something personal. I knew you were for a while, after you sold some of your tracks to others.” 

“What special attitude?” asks Namjoon.

“You know, it’s like… when you’re working on tracks for other people you get really closed off, ‘cause you want it to be spotless. When you’re working for your own work, you’re very––how to put this––aggressive. Not like, in a bad way. Just. In bed.” 

Namjoon’s face burns and he buries it in his hands. “What the fuck ?” he asks against the palm of his hands.

Jimin laughs. “It’s not bad, hyung. I told you. It’s sexy.” 

“I can’t believe you never told me. I’ve worked on tens of mixtapes,” Namjoon says, already peeking behind his fingers.

Jimin smirks. “Exactly.” 

“Park Jimin, you kinky bitch.” 

“When your boyfriend is a six-foot-rapper-singer-songwriter-producer who has hella nice tits, you’d also be kinky.” 

Namjoon throws his head back, laughing. “What the fuck ?” 

“Boobs in my mouth, hyung. Now.”

Namjoon giggles and throws a pillow at him. “Weirdo.” 

Jimin grins. “You wanna know what else is weird?” Namjoon hums as a response. “The puppy peed in the kitchen. Now you need to go clean it.” 

Namjoon rolls his eyes and glares at his boyfriend who smiles innocently at him. “Love you,” Jimin singsongs. 

“Hate you. Goodbye.” 

While Namjoon is cleaning the dog pee, Jimin went to get Youra who cried herself awake in her cradle, when he was reminded. 

“It’s okay, your appa is going to come home today, isn’t he?” coos Jimin. 

Namjoon looks up. “Wait. Yoongi-hyung is coming home today?”

“Yes. It’s the 12th. Plus, he needs to prepare for his wedding, isn’t he? Isn’t he, Youra?” coos Jimin, in which Youra responds easily, with giggles. 

Namjoon frowns. “He sent me a skiing GIF a few hours ago, though. I thought he was gonna go skiing.” 

Jimin freezes on the spot. Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the sudden change of attitude. “What?” asks Namjoon. When Jimin doesn’t answer, Namjoon asks again. 

“He sent you a skiing GIF?” Namjoon nods. “Hyung, didn’t he send a yacht GIF to you too when he went to disappear in Greece?” 

Namjoon widens his eyes in realization and fishes for his phone to see the text again. It was, indeed, a skiing GIF sent by Yoongi an hour ago. Namjoon gasps and tries to call him and it says the number is unavailable. 

It happened before, when Yoongi spiralled and went to escape to Europe. One too many times and it’s always to Europe, always to different countries and corners of the continent. But before each escape, he’d give them a clue as to where he could be before he completely disappears. He decides to come back at some point, the shortest is a few weeks. 

Yoongi’s longest escape was two months back in high school. He stayed in England and roamed around each corner those two months. He always comes back. Always. That doesn’t make each escape right, though. Besides, it’s almost his wedding

Despite the fact he knows the number is probably already dead, Namjoon tries again and again but it is still the same. He tries to iMessage Yoongi but it was undelivered and he gulps at the red exclamation point, looking at Jimin while he drops his arms slowly. 

Jimin stares at him. “What?” he asks. But they both already know the answer based on Namjoon’s face. 

Jimin sighs, looking at Youra and doing his best to comfort her, not knowing what will happen to the Min-Kim’s when Yoongi comes back. 

 

*** 

 

“He’s what ?” Hoseok cries. He goes on and on, a screaming spree he’s always done right after Namjoon tells him about Yoongi sending him that tiny clue before he disappears. 

Hoseok’s furious. He knew that Yoongi had been spiralling for a while and he even parent-trapped Yoongi and Seokjin for a honeymoon and yet… 

Hoseok groans in frustration. “When is he gonna grow the fuck up?”

“Hyung, please calm down,” Jimin pleads. “We just wanna talk calmly about this. No one else knows but us. What are we gonna do about it?” 

Hoseok wants to laugh. He really does. He wants to laugh because he can’t be calm, not right now. And that there is absolutely nothing they can do right now because who knows when Yoongi is going to come back? He has absolutely disconnected himself and unless he chooses to return, there is nothing they can do to make this any better.

When Seokjin finds out… 

Fuck .

“Fuck,” Hoseok says in realization. “The contract.” 

“What contract?” asks Namjoon. 

“The contract , Joon,” Hoseok groans. 

“What contract, hyung?” asks Jimin, genuinely confused. It then hits Hoseok that no one had explained the contract to them yet. 

“Shit,” mumbles Hoseok. “They have a deal that they need to take care of Youra for at least three days in a week. Or just show up in a week, basically. If he’ll be gone for more, he loses his Youra privileges for like, I think 3 weeks.” 

Both Namjoon and Jimin blink, expressions turning into a deep spiral. 

“There is no way we can reach out to him now,” Namjoon voices. “If it’s his choice to leave then… there’s nothing we can do about it but help with the wedding and care for Youra.” 

Jimin nods. “Yeah. How are we...gonna tell Seokjin-hyung?” 

Hoseok wants to laugh. He wants to laugh out loud because this is the type of shit he’d warned Yoongi about when they’d decided to keep Youra. It’s cruel of him to think about because he knows Youra now and knows their family and he loves the baby, he really does. But Yoongi is unstable and incapable of shit like this, which is the type of thing he was afraid of. 

Hoseok laughs but under his breath. “Let’s just say we tell him where he can kick something and have the babies babysit Youra.” 

There’s a moment of silence that passes between them but the three of them simultaneously sigh a few seconds after. 

 

***

 

Seokjin purses his lips after hearing the new information, which frankly, Namjoon can understand. Often, Seokjin does come to him for advice whenever he’s feeling a little bit rocky. So, Namjoon does know a bit about Seokjin’s side of things despite being a forever-bro with Yoongi. 

“If it’s any consolation, hyung,” Hoseok starts, “we are absolutely on your side in this. We absolutely hate Yoongi for doing this.” 

Seokjin’s head snaps up and the three of them visibly flinch. Seokjin tsks. “Right. Of course . We absolutely have to hate him for this. What, just because he has cold feet he can up and go to Europe? God , we talked about this. We talked about fleeing. He was doing so good .” 

No one knows what else to say so their heads hang low and to make matters worse, Seokjin then says, ever so quietly, “ We were doing so good.” 

The three exchange glances and communicate with their eyes until it was decided that Jimin should speak up. Even though Seokjin goes to Namjoon for advice, it was obvious then that the friendship Seokjin and Jimin have is more calming to the core. Namjoon is great in advising, he gives himself credit for that, but Jimin is someone no one can absolutely say no to. 

“Hyung,” Jimin starts after a long period of silence. Seokjin barely hums. “If you want to kick something… if, you know, anything at all. We are here for you. The babies can take Youra for the night. Dongmin is there too so they can have her for like, 2 nights actually.” 

Seokjin sighs after a while and finally looks at them. “Let’s get absolutely fucked.” 

 

***

 

The thing is that Hoseok doesn’t mind this side of Seokjin. 

He’s seen it previously, before Youra was adopted, how wild Seokjin can get. And when he says he wants to get fucked, he really, absolutely gets fucked . He doesn’t mind the hyperactivity, the slurring words, the cursing and the kicking. He’s just worried because all of the things he’d been cursing about are Yoongi. 

Admittedly, they were doing so good. Hoseok had visibly seen how Yoongi had changed under the care of Seokjin and the presence of Youra. Everyone close to him had seen it. He just doesn’t understand what prompted Yoongi to even make this escape. Sure, he was spiralling. But he had thought the new Yoongi would, at least, stay on his feet and spiral with the presence of his friends. 

They’re all in Hoseok’s club, making sure no one is there but them so Seokjin can freely shout anything he wants without it making page six. Jimin and Namjoon are drinking and eyeing Seokjin worriedly while Hoseok is the one dancing with Seokjin on the dance floor. 

It’s another hour of substance and shots when Seokjin decides that it was enough and goes to sit. 

“Guys,” he slurs. Then, he pouts. “Yoongi hates me.” 

Jimin sighs. “He doesn’t, hyung. He’s just...he’s just like this sometimes and we are forced to accept it. But obviously, you don’t have to. Be mad at him. Go for it.” 

“I am,” mutters Seokjin. Then, he shouts: “ Fucking angry ! Fuck you, Min Yoongi !”

Hoseok’s tipsy self flinches beside him and pats his shoulders. “There, there.” 

“Thing is…” Seokjin trails off before shaking his head. “Nah.”

“What is it, hyung?” Namjoon asks, carefully. 

It’s not like any of them wants to take advantage of how Seokjin could spill anything about their relationship but… it’s a good opportunity. 

And they’re all thinking the same thing.

Seokjin frowns. “ He was the one who proposed,” he says. “ He was the one who saw that I might fall apart when I became chairman so he wanted these bands to be real…”

“Are you…?” Hoseok asks, unsure of how to finish the question. 

“No,” Seokjin says anyway. “That’s why I hate arranged marriages. That’s why I hated my parents for it. So. Why did I even think of being a capable father to Youra? A husband to Yoongi...tsk.”

“Hyung, you’re a great father,” Namjoon reassures. 

“Why did I even suggest we do this in the first place?” Seokjin asks, tone a little sad. “ I was the one who suggested it, actually. Take care of Youra. Yoongi did the rest. If I didn’t…”

“Hyung,” Jimin presses. “You don’t mean that.”

“I love Youra,” Seokjin tells them, shaking his head. “But Yoongi...is a piece of shit.” 

“Now that I can get behind,” Hoseok mutters. “Amen.” 

“Yoongi hates me,” Seokjin repeats, pouting and sulking in his seat. “He hates me so why did he do it?” 

“He doesn’t hate you,” Jimin says again. “Hyung…”

Seokjin nods. “I have work tomorrow.” 

“You can ask for the day off,” Namjoon says. “I’m sure your grandparents are suckers when you bring Youra up.” 

Seokjin suddenly smiles. “Yeah… I wanna go to my castle too. Don’t wanna go back to Yoongi’s place. Ever again.” 

“Okay, we’ll take you to your castle,” Jimin assures him.

Seokjin grins before passing out, his perfectly sculpted face falling flat on the table.

 

***

 

Seokjin wakes up to something shifting beside him.

Yoongi , he thinks hazily. Yoongi ...

Until he realizes and remembers that Yoongi had left him. His stomach churns in pain and his chest tightens. 

Seokjin doesn’t remember much from last night. He remembers wanting to get absolutely fucked so he probably smoked some and drank a lot. He wasn’t bound to remember anything so he is grateful he didn’t get Youra a  sibling.

No. 

Instead, the people stirring beside him are Jimin and Hoseok, who are sleeping soundly beside him and snuggling into him. He faintly remembers how they brought him home and passed out beside him because he told them he didn’t want to be alone last night. He cringes but thanks them silently for not leaving him anyway. 

Seokjin then carefully sits up, head pounding like crazy and stands carefully to make himself a hangover soup and some tea.

When he’s outside, he sees Namjoon is passed out on the couch, holding a tiger plushie.

Then he widens his eyes in realization.

Youra .

Ignoring his heavy limbs and pounding head, he rushes to Youra’s room and finds the baby already sitting up and playing with her toys, trying to speak in hushed tones. He also sees that Taehyung is asleep on the floor full of blankets and his heart warms at the sight.

When Youra notices him, she gasps loudly and is about to yell excitedly like she always does but he immediately puts his finger in his lips and shushed her. Because she’s been taught this motion repeatedly, Youra then mirrors him, shushing him too. 

Seokjin melts and walks towards her, carefully carrying her up and hugs her. She smells like an English garden and baby powder. And the home Seokjin is always longing for.

Seokjin carries her out to make them both breakfast and some breakfast for the rest. Somehow, with her present, his worries disappear just like that, as if Yoongi isn’t somewhere in Europe skiing right now, ignoring the fact that he has a wedding to plan and rehearse. However, none of that even matters to him because he has Youra. 

A part of Seokjin actually understands Yoongi and why he fled. He just doesn’t want to admit he’d do the same if he had that kind of freedom and impulsiveness. But it doesn’t make it right to leave in these circumstances. After all, Yoongi was the one to propose. And they have a settlement that if they were to not attend to caring for Youra after 3 days, he wouldn’t get to see Youra for 3 weeks. So, it wouldn’t be his fault if he were to punish Yoongi like that.

It’s just that, as of right now, Seokjin understands and besides the punishment based on their settlement, he doesn’t want to be angry at Yoongi. He just wants to understand him, wants to help him so that he won’t do this again in the future, so that Seokjin himself won’t be tempted to act out like Yoongi. 

Then he decides to tell the rest not to punish Yoongi too because he doesn’t know Yoongi’s motives yet and he isn’t really determined to find out, not unless Yoongi wants to tell Seokjin himself. 

Until then, it’s only best to be nice to Yoongi because he doesn’t know what’s on Yoongi’s mind right now and if Yoongi’s shadows are being too cruel. 

 

***

 

The wedding preparations go by quickly. Taehyung and Hoseok stay beside Seokjin the entire time and don't realize how almost a week has gone by without Yoongi’s presence. 

Seokjin is visibly frustrated that his fiance and supposed husband aren't around but the rest helps him out and never lets him out of their sight and Hoseok knows he’s grateful that they’re sticking around. What was hard the first time was to explain to the grandparents and Yoongi’s mom that Yoongi had gone. 

Of course, Seokjin couldn’t tell them about his settlement with Yoongi so he just told them that he won’t let Yoongi see Youra for a few weeks when he’s back as a punishment. 

Evidently, Yoongi’s mom was satisfied with the punishment and gave a reassuring pat on Seokjin’s back while Yoongi’s grandmother offered company and assistance, which Seokjin was so grateful for.  

With two weeks left on the wedding, all there is to do is make sure that the grooms are well-polished, not having doubts and preferably, not spiraling in Europe. Seokjin is well-polished and not spiraling in Europe so that is progress and something Hoseok is very proud of. 

All of them are staying in the Kim mansion right now, where the wedding is going to be held, but Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook have duties in the Min estate to polish it up for the Bachelors party.

The three of them are in the living room, laughing and throwing ideas off each other on how to make the party good when someone clears their throat. 

Yoongi. 

The three of them fall silent. Hoseok can feel his blood boil at the sight of Yoongi’s stupid face and he’s the first to stand up and walks towards him. 

Yoongi avoids his gaze but doesn’t move either, just letting Hoseok do whatever it is he needs to do––slap him, usually, but since Hoseok has received direct orders from Seokjin to not slap him, specifically, he doesn’t. 

Hoseok stands in front of Yoongi for a moment before enveloping him into a hug. Yoongi lets out a noise of surprise. Hoseok then whispers, “Asshole. Dumb fucking piece of shit .” 

“I know,” Yoongi says. 

When Hoseok releases Yoongi, he takes Yoongi’s hand and makes him sit on the couch, about to be confronted by the three. 

“So,” Jimin starts. 

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi says quickly. 

Jungkook purses his lips and his head hangs low. “Not supposed to be sorry to us.” 

Yoongi clenches his jaw. “I know,” he sighs. Then he says silently, “I thought I’d receive some yelling from you.” 

Jungkook’s head snaps up and he looks as if he is actually about to yell before Hoseok stops him, “ Okay ! We get it now. Yoongi-hyung is terrible but we have received orders from Seokjin-hyung. Right ?” 

“Orders?” asks Yoongi weakly.

“He told us what to say or do if we meet you first or something,” Jimin explains. “So, first. No Youra for about 3 weeks. That was in your settlement with Seokjin-hyung. Feel free to fight him.” 

Yoongi stays silent so Jimin continues. “Bachelor party is a week before the wedding. It’s gonna be here and then the rest of the time will be spent in Kim mansion. Family things. Family therapy. You are also quarantined so that you won’t leave.”

Yoongi visibly flinches but he nods. “Seokjin-hyung also told us not to slap you or yell at you or be mean because...he understands.”

And that seemed to hit Yoongi like a truck. 

“Hear that?” Jungkook asks through gritted teeth. “So you’ll hear it again. He understands . God knows why but he does . He understands why you decided to flee. I swear to God, hyung, if Seokjin-hyung didn’t threaten me to not threaten you , you wouldn’t even see the light of day for 3 months. So be fucking grateful.”

With that, Jungkook storms out of the living room and Jimin excuses himself to go after him to calm him down, but Jimin does say that he’s glad Yoongi is back anyway. Yoongi smiles weakly, even after they had left. 

“I’m such a––”

“Nope,” Hoseok cuts him off. “Shut up . You’re here now, that’s what matters. Also, you heard us. Seokjin-hyung understands. But that doesn’t make the punishment easy for you. That’s what you have to understand.” 

“I…” Yoongi trails off. “You were right.”

“I don’t care,” Hoseok says. “You have to be better now, hyung. For Youra. For Seokjin. That man… he… I don’t wanna tell you. You’ll just have to figure it out yourself but he cares a lot. There’s a reason he said yes to the real wedding. A reason why he’s kept up with you this far.” 

Yoongi looks up at Hoseok with glistening and hopeful eyes. “Thanks… Hoseok.” 

Hoseok hums. “Just be grateful that Taehyung isn’t here right now because––”

Granny !” Taehyung’s voice booms through the house, causing Hoseok to widen his eyes. “Hyungies! Jungkookie! I’m here !”

Before Yoongi could run from Hoseok’s orders, Taehyung arrived in the living room, eyes locking with Yoongi’s with rage. “ You .” 

“Taehyung,” Hoseok starts nervously. “Remember what Seokjin-hyung said?” 

“Fuck him,” Taehyung says before running towards Yoongi in full speed and the other quickly making an escape. 

Hoseok sighs and wants to follow them but the screams that echo through the house updates him on what is going on anyway. So he stretches before making some tea and lets the kids be. 

 

***

 

After running the entirety of his family’s estate for 10 minutes, Taehyung finally caught him and sent him a lot of threats. It seemed that Taehyung and Seokjin’s relationship had developed to a point where Taehyung just does whatever he wants unlike how it used to be. 

Yoongi is grateful because that’s what he had expected anyway. 

What he didn’t expect, however, was the opposite treatment from the rest that had listened to Seokjin. 

Seokjin, who told them not to get angry at him or do whatever Taehyung is doing because he understands why he fled. He is going to suffer the consequences of not being able to see Youra for 3 weeks at his own accord, his signature still as though it was signed yesterday on the settlement that they had written as Youra’s parents.

It’s fine , he thinks, except it’s not. 

During the entire trip, he was going back and forth from the airport but his entire skin seemed as if it was crawling with ants if he didn’t explore Andorra. So he made sure he went as fast as he could to do the business he always does in Europe and made it back quickly. 

The fastest he’d explored a place was two weeks but Andorra is small, just enough for a few days and the urgency in his veins made a lot of contribution to how fast he explored.

Yoongi didn't wish for anyone’s forgiveness when he left, especially Seokjin’s, so something shattered within him to find out that Seokjin understood. He only wishes now to talk to Seokjin and explain everything and that he didn’t mean for it to happen like that. But he doesn’t know how. 

Nobody but him knows what business he has in Europe and why he’s always trying to find something there. He’s not sure if he wants Seokjin to know but if circumstances would bring him to that point, he would tell Seokjin. 

Taehyung and Yoongi are in the garden, Yoongi lying flat on the ground with Taehyung on top of Yoongi as he threatens him with all he has. 

Until someone clears their throat and a familiar, demanding voice says, “That’s enough, Taehyung.” 

Taehyung freezes and complies to get up. He doesn’t help Yoongi get up to bow to Yoongi’s grandmother but his grandmother just smiles at Taehyung and hugs him, telling him he did well but she is going to take over from here. 

Yoongi sighs and gets off the ground. With one last glare from Taehyung, Taehyung strides off from the garden and into the estate. Grandmother Min then clears her throat, seemingly petting a pug in her hands, one that Hoseok had adopted before he left. 

“Min Yoongi,” his grandmother says, with a tone that says he is not going to be let off easy this time. “Come.” 

Yoongi does. They start wandering in the garden side by side, a usual routine that they always do whenever she is scolding him.

“Explain yourself,” his grandmother demands, lightly but very authoritative. 

“I went to Andorra,” Yoongi starts. “I was... The seminar was alright. The awards too. I won several. People praised me. I was going to go back but there was a flight to France and I went there. Then Andorra.”

Why? Didn't you come home?” 

At this, his grandmother has a tone that implies she was asking–– Why didn’t you come home, to Seokjin and Youra?  

Yoongi had always told his grandmother previously that he has no home he wants to come back to. This time, it’s different. Youra is home. Seokjin is too. 

“I...I’m scared,” he admits. “It’s a. Shit reason. Everything is too much to handle and I’ve been spiralling for weeks.” 

“Didn’t you promise me you will do it anyway even if everything is too much for you?” asks his grandmother, eyebrows arched. “Remind me of what you told me when you announced to everyone how you decided to adopt a baby without being married.” 

“I told you I’ll take responsibility for everything,” Yoongi says. “And I am. I just––” 

“Parenthood is not trial and error, Min Yoongi. You cannot just disappear from your daughter’s life because you felt like it was too much to handle . You were the one who decided that when you signed the adoption papers. Not me. I am just reminding you.”

Yoongi swallows hard. “I know. I didn’t mean to.” 

“I told you that it was hard for the world to look at two men adopting without getting married,” his grandmother reminds him. He knows because that’s what Hoseok told him too. And they’re both right. “It is not an accident. Cannot be seen as. It was a choice . There was a process, wasn’t it?”

No, there really was not. And if there was, I don’t remember it . “Mm.”

“Your father cheated because it was his choice.” Yoongi flinches. “Your parents had you because it was their choice as well. And then they divorced. Another choice. Granted, all of these are choices with strings of processes that might seem like they are too much to handle . But it was still handled.”

A pause before she asks, “And you and Seokjin made the choice to adopt Youra, didn’t you?” 

No . “Yes.” 

“So that leaves no room for any mistakes or any circumstances that this is too much for you, do you understand?” Yoongi nods. “That boy...you’re lucky to have him as your husband.”

Yoongi’s chest tightens and he clenches his jaw because he knows. He knows he is lucky that Seokjin’s attitude towards this is understanding but still unwavering of the punishment they’d decided on themselves.

“I know,” Yoongi tells his grandmother quietly.

“You are going to apologize to him and his family with a deep bow and reflect in the Kim mansion. I have a butler and some security to look after you. And I’m sure your best friends told you that Seokjin is not going to allow you to see Youra for several weeks. As he should.”

“Mm.” 

His grandmother then halts and so does Yoongi. He looks at his grandmother, who is petting the pug and sees that she holds eyes that are sad. They’ve been like that since his grandfather died. She never visibly changed but her eyes did. 

“Granny?”

His grandmother then transfers the pug to him, which he takes easily, as if he was Youra and starts petting him. “Um.” 

“I figured you miss holding a baby so,” his grandmother sniffs. “And anyway. Set up an apology date with Seokjin. Make it up to him.” 

Yoongi nods and bows, knowing his grandmother is going to leave him there to reflect. So she does and he’s left alone with the black pug in his hands. He lifts the pug and finds the collar to see 유밤 (Yu-bam) engraved on it and silently thanks Hoseok he didn’t name the pug Yoonie. 

 

***

 

When Seokjin heard, he was relieved more than anything. He knows he should be angry at Yoongi but knowing that he is safe and in Korea is more than he needs right now. 

He’s carrying Youra in his arms right now, looking at her and tells her he’s sorry for her not having to see her Appa for a few weeks. 

“Appa,” she pouts. 

Seokjin knows she misses Yoongi because she’d been asking for him a few times a day. After being surrounded by her uncles, she forgets but one night she had sighed a small Appa in her sleep.

“I know,” he sighs. “But he was being a bad Appa so he needs to not see Youra for a little. Does Youra understand?” 

Her pout deepens but she then says, “Bad Appa? Appa...bad?” 

Seokjin pouts too and furrows his eyebrows as if he’s angry. “Yes. Bad Appa. What’re we gonna do about him?” 

Youra then speaks in an incoherent language, shaking her head and acting as if she’s angry too. She looks just like him when he was cursing Yoongi and he chuckles in amusement. Then, she seems to relax and cups Seokjin’s face and is trying to tell him something. 

“Da,” she says, nodding as if in approval. 

“Am I a good daddy, Youra?” he asks, genuinely. 

Youra nods. “Goob dabbie.” 

Seokjin melts and hugs her, relieved. 

 

***

 

Yoongi had done what his grandmother told him to do. He went to the Kim mansion at once and faced Seokjin and his grandparents, bowing and apologizing for leaving on short notice. He was nervous more than anything to face Seokjin but the man has an unreadable expression, as if they’d gone back to square one. 

Yoongi expected it but he didn’t know it would cause him this much discomfort. 

On the other hand, Seokjin’s grandparents patted him on the back, saying how it’s alright to get cold feet but never to do it again because it would be too much for his daughter. He understands and thanks them for their advice. And then, they leave him alone with his...husband. Slash fiance. 

Yoongi walks towards Seokjin, who still has a neutral face, one that he’d always worn the first few times Yoongi had met him. 

“Hyung,” Yoongi starts.

Seokjin puts a small smile but Yoongi can still read nothing. “Shall we walk?” 

Yoongi grimaces at how polite he sounds but nods anyway, thinking he deserves this. They walk out to the garden, seemingly like deja vu except it’s Seokjin this time instead of his grandmother. He never used to have a Seokjin to take a stroll with him in gardens while scolding him… 

The Kim’s garden is much more grand. It looks like a small park where he would have a picnic and play with his daughter. His heart clenches at the thought.

“I heard what Taehyung did to you,” Seokjin says after a while. “You didn’t deserve that.” 

Yoongi blinks, his mouth drying up. “But.”

“I know,” sighs Seokjin. “I know what you did. I’m sure they told you that I understood why you left but. I mean. I don’t know. I think I do.” 

“You don’t have to,” Yoongi says quietly.

“But I do,” Seokjin insists. 

“Still,” Yoongi says. “It was shit of me. I’m sorry.”

Seokjin hums. “I know. But I want you to know that between us, you shouldn’t have to be sorry anymore. I understand.” 

“Hyung––”

“But you are still punished. We decided that one a long time ago before anything else. So you’ll have to endure that for a while.”

“I know,” Yoongi says. “Is she… is she alright?” 

“Mhm. She’s having fun. She threw a fit about you.”

“Oh?” 

“I told her I was sorry that she won’t be able to see you for a few weeks and I told her why, sort of. Then she cursed you.” 

Yoongi can’t help but smile thinking about that but then his smile falls. “Did you ?” 

“Did I what?” 

“Curse me.” 

“Oh, of course I did. I got...well, wasted. Then I woke up and Youra just... I don’t know why but after that, I understood.”

“Hyung, what is it that you understand?” 

Seokjin stops and looks at him. “I don’t know. It might not make sense. I don’t even know why every time you escape, it’s always Europe. I don’t know why you have such impulse to escape like this. I understand, maybe, because I almost fled many heavy situations I was in. I did it once but I didn’t leave Korea. Just...yeah. And it felt nice to escape like that.

“So, maybe that’s the part I understand. There are still a lot of things, though. Because we are doing everything for Youra and you, you told me that you...wanted to support me, which is why the wedding’s happening...so it just kinda...it hurt. That you left us.”

Yoongi feels himself shrinking when Seokjin says that and he thinks of it again. It wasn’t right of him to leave them just like that and of course Seokjin felt hurt and had every right to be angry about it. He was the one who proposed everything they’re doing right now, he was the one who proposed to Seokjin for a real marriage. 

He didn’t think twice when he left because he just doesn’t. It’s easy for him to flee but he felt it after, which was why he rushed. It still didn’t make any sense, however. So, perhaps it would be good to tell Seokjin, he thinks. 

“I know. It was bad. I was the one who told you that I’d be there for you and I left. It’s okay if you don’t trust me anymore and if you take me as a liar.” 

“Would you believe me if I told you I don’t?” 

“No.” 

“Well, I mean, we’re friends, you know? And it’s not like parenting is easy. It’s not like what we have is easy but I trust you to be there with me until the end. Even if you leave, because I trust that you would always come back.” 

Yoongi swallows, a ton of pressure weighing down on him right now. 

It’s true that he is never going to leave permanently and they’ve talked about it, which is perhaps why Seokjin trusts him that much. It just feels too much that he thinks about it. It feels like he promised Seokjin he would stay forever. And he would, he just doesn’t want it to feel like a promise in case he lets Seokjin down.

“Hyung, you’re…” Yoongi trails off.

“I’m what?” 

“Do you really still trust me?” 

Seokjin smiles softly. “There is only us after dawn, right?” 

Yoongi’s heart shatters and he rushes to hug Seokjin tightly, and doesn't feel the tears swelling up in his eyes right now. He swallows hard and tries to breathe as Seokjin hugs him back, soothingly running his hands over Yoongi’s back. 

After a few moments, Yoongi pulls away but doesn’t let go of Seokjin, tiptoeing so their foreheads are pressed together. Seokjin is the one who ducks down to let Yoongi’s feet rest on the ground as Yoongi searches for that warmth and sparkle in Seokjin’s eyes. 

“I’m home,” Yoongi whispers. 

Seokjin smiles before pressing a kiss on Yoongi’s lips. Before Yoongi can open his mouth to let them have a make-out session, Seokjin shakes his head. “You also lose all privileges to kiss and fuck me for 3 weeks.”

Yoongi pulls away, mood souring again. “What.” 

Seokjin just smiles innocently. “I’ve made your room for you. It’s a self-reflecting room that you will have to sleep in until...hmm...oh, wait. Your birthday, actually.” 

“Hyung.” 

“And if you try to sneak into Youra's room, we’d know. There are guards in front of your room and Youra’s. Kay?” 

Seokjin then flashes him an innocent smile. 

Yoongi sighs dramatically but it really does hurt to not be able to see his daughter and fuck his fiance for three weeks. It’s okay, he thinks. He deserves this punishment. He has to pay for what he's done and what better way, to take everything that is absolutely important in his life right now.






Notes:

say hi @hoshiprnt my gotseventeen acc

say hi @cnvsjin my bts au acc (au thread in carrd in bio)

say hi @forgyuhao my svt au acc (i have like one au there but)

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