Lena can think of nothing but Kara after she’s left. She tries to act normal when she joins everyone downstairs. Alex didn’t have to leave, (“ They probably just need her to lift something heavy for them ”). So Lena sits quietly while she and Sam throw playful banter at each other over the kitchen island and Eliza tries to prevent it from devolving into a food fight. She’s vaguely aware of the others making plans for the day as her mind circles to find a solution.
She has to get back to National city, where she’ll feel more stable regardless of having answers. She’s checking her emails, just for something to do with her hands when she decides to fake an L corp emergency.
Clearing her throat to get everyone’s attention she commits to the plan, “I’m needed at L Corp.”
“Do I need to go in too?” Lena feels a pang of guilt at Sam’s look of worry and eagerness to help.
“No, no. It’s an R&D, lab, thing.” It’s not her smoothest delivery and Sam looks skeptical, but that’s really not Lena’s top priority right now.
Lena leaves the remains of her breakfast on the counter and heads for the stairs without looking back, not giving anyone time to ask more questions. She packs quickly, in a daze. In the back of her mind she knows she’s being dramatic. Where is the level headed, solution oriented approach she’s perfected over the years? Kara loves her. Kara loves her. Kara’s in love with her.
Lena thinks she’s done a shitty job of making her excuses but Sam knows her well enough to leave it alone and the other two follow suit, letting her leave with quick hugs and concerned well wishes. She probably shouldn’t be driving in her extremely distracted state. Random details come to her like the way Kara fidgets with whatever is in her hands when Lena makes a flirtatious joke. How sometimes she would be unexpectedly coy in return. Catching Kara looking at her from across a room. The slack jawed expression she sometimes wore. The desperate anger when Lena would do something reckless, relief when she was safe again.
God the torture Lena unwittingly put Kara through. The gala invites, the excessive gifts, the acquiring of Catco . And, the cudding that Lena initiated and later worried about when Kara seemed a little stiff. Until next time when she easily pulled Lena into her side.
Then there’s the underlying attraction that was always there. Lena thought she was jealous of Kara’s toned body at first but it had become hard to deny that she wants Kara’s body in a completely different way. She explained it away and pushed it down the way she was taught. Who wouldn’t crave the safety of those arms. And, really, it’s not her fault she was never taught what normal friendship looked like in the Luthor household. Proof after proof of their mutual attraction hit Lena all at once.
Lena jolts as her car drifts over the rumble strip at the edge of the road, jolting her out of her panicked reflection. She jerks the steering wheel to get back on the road, holds her breath until the shock passes and when she knows she’s safe she rolls her eyes at herself.
As she nears National City she starts to doubt coming back early was the right decision. Now she’ll be left alone with her thoughts, tempted to throw herself into work, to box this up with all the rest of her dilemmas. Sam was right there, why didn’t she seek her advice, god learned behaviors suck . Lena is used to working through things on her own but she can't do this alone.
Gripping the wheel Lena gives in.
“Space Brain, call Sam,” Oh god , Lena’s heart seizes. Kara had programmed her virtual assistant's name. Usually Lena smiles at having to say it but now it just makes her panic. Their lives have become really entwined.
“Lena? You there?” Sam had picked up to silence, Lena lost in thought.
“Sam. Sam, I think I’m in love with Kara.”
There it is. She didn’t even know she had come to the conclusion yet but it felt right, natural on her tongue.
Sam is taking too long to reply, “Sam?” there’s panic in Lena’s voice.
“Sorry, I’m just trying to think of a response other than, ‘duh’.”
“What? You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Uh, I guess I thought you’d tell you?”
Lena would snark back if she wasn’t desperate for advice so she tries to be more direct, “What do I do?”
“Would it be too cliche to say go get the girl?”
“Sam! This is serious.”
“Okay, okay, sorry. I need details to give an informed decision so, did something happen with you two?”
“No, not exactly. You know how Eliza and I were on the porch this morning?” Sam hums, “well, she came right out and said Kara loves me and that she thinks I love her and that I broadcast it to the world and - Shit Sam, she’s right! How could I not see?”
“Damn Eliza. Ok, well, first, it’s perfectly understandable, don’t beat yourself up. You haven’t actually talked to Kara yet. It sounds scary but it’s Kara, puppy dog angel Kara who is going to work through this with you,” Sam gives her a second to digest that, then adds warmly, “Talk to her, see where she’s at with all this. That’s the first step anyway.”
Steps, Lena can do steps. She takes a breath, a real breath that she actually feels run through her, untensing her body.
“Yeah, I can do that. Thanks Sam.”
“Anytime, babe. You’ve got this. Text me an update as soon as there is one?”
“Yeah, I will. Love you.”
“Love you too. And, I’m happy for you, Lena. Like I said, go get her.”
Lena ends up going straight to her penthouse. She’s relatively calm compared to the drive. She broke it all down, thought of the possible outcomes. While she can’t eliminate the possibility of something going wrong she really couldn’t see it happening either. Regardless, she can handle it, they can handle it.
She sends Kara a text as soon as she is through the door, letting her know she came home early and that Kara should come over when she could, no matter the time. She hoped it sounded casual.
What follows is a thorough cleaning of her apartment. Is her apartment already spotless because she has a service come once a week? Yes. Does that mean she doesn’t find something to occupy her hands and mind? No. The fridge has never looked so spacious and organized, the couch is back to its original plumpness. Dishes? Done. Plants? Watered. Laundry? Ok, well she doesn’t need to go that far.
Thing is, it doesn’t serve as that great of a distraction because the freezer had Kara’s favorite ice cream in it, and the blanket on the couch is one Kara forced her to buy because, “ you can’t just have blankets that look good Lena, you need ones that feel like clouds .” All those shelves she dusted have books she borrowed from Kara, and a framed group picture from game night where Kara is looking at Lena like she hung the moon. A look Lena never thought twice about before, she was always so focussed on being part of a group, having friends, for once. Now it’s all she sees.
She allows herself a scotch after all that. Checking her phone she sees Kara hasn’t replied yet, but Sam did check in. It might not be what she’s been waiting for but it still provides some relief to know her friend is thinking about her.
Sam : How you doing?
Lena : Okay. Haven’t heard from her yet. Wondering if I’ll even hear from her tonight…
She’s had the TV on in the background, playing the news on mute to make sure Supergirl is okay. But, whatever Supergirl was needed for must’ve been hush hush because there’s been no footage of her.
Sam : Take your mind off of it with a bath or something. You worked yourself up today.
Lena : Yeah. Just tell me she’s not dead cause my mind keeps wanting to go there.
Sam : She’s not dead hun. Call me if your mind gets the best of you.
Lena chooses a shower over a bath. A bath is too idle. She washes off the grime from cleaning and does her best to focus on the sensations that surround her rather than think too much.
Sam must be right that she worked herself up because when she steps out of the steam she feels drained. She slips into a loose tee, shorts, and a pair of slipper socks that only Kara has seen her in.
Jesus fuck, is there anything that won’t make me think of her?
She decides to give into it, the way her life has been infused with Kara. She grabs another glass of scotch, Kara’s ice cream, that damn blanket from the couch and takes it all to her bed where she sits, propped up by five pillows, and flips through the photos on her phone. Most of which, of course, either include, or remind her of, Kara.
Lena doesn’t remember falling asleep but her limbs have that unmistakable laden feel, and maybe also her mouth is dry from hanging open, and possibly that also has left evidence of drool. Whatever, it’s obvious she fell asleep, what takes her a minute is what woke her up. It’s the mattress being weighed down, a touch to her thigh, and a quiet “Lena,” that get her to open her eyes.
“Kara?” It’s a stupid question, Lena knows it’s Kara, but it’s all Lena’s got in terms of coherent responses.
“Hey, sorry. I got your text.”
“Yeah, I texted you.” Great, perfect response brain. At least Kara’s entertained, it’s obvious she’s trying to hold back a laugh.
“Is everything okay? Why’d you come home?” Kara sounds concerned and Lena needs that to not be the case so she sits up and reaches for the hand on her thigh.
The only light illuminating the room comes from the moon. Everything appears in greyscale and it make Lena doubt she woke at all.
“Yeah. Yes. Sorry I didn’t mean to worry you. I just couldn’t stay. It’s - ,” as daunting as it is to reveal Lena’s very confusing, very new feelings without confirmation of Kara’s own, Lena knows it’s the best way to go about this, has spent the day mentally preparing so she can do this.
“It’s just that I realized something this weekend and I couldn’t - stay there.”
Lena hasn’t really said anything to ease Kara’s mind but she remains patient, thumb absent mindedly stroking Lena’s knuckles.
“I realized, I have feelings for you.”
There’s a beat of silence where Lena braces herself and Kara looks confused and disbelieving.
“Like, best friend feelings?”
Lena huffs a laugh at that, “No, Kara, not best friend feelings. Decidedly more than.”
Lena could explain with words but Kara can be dense, and Lena is impatient. Having spent the day thinking only of this means needing confirmation now . She scoots closer to Kara, letting go of her hand to frame her questioning face.
“Can I kiss you?” Lena leans closer until their faces are inches apart.
“Can you - what?”
Kara’s fumbling for some understanding because Lena cannot mean what she thinks she means, what Kara wants her to mean. But she can feel Lena’s breath on her lips and she really can’t misinterpret the situation anymore. Not with Lena’s soft hold on her cheeks and the love in her eyes, it’s like everything Kara’s ever felt for her reflected back.
Still, her brain is slow, “Why?”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
Neither knows who closes the final distance between them, just that they should’ve done this a long long time ago. Lena’s whole body reacts to the relief she hears in Kara’s soft moan. A warmth spreads through her, both comforting and arousing. The surety she feels coming from Kara is turning her on beyond belief. Kara’s kissing her like she’s satisfying a need. Lena’s gasping for breath before even a minute has gone by and when Kara goes to switch angles she pulls back.
“Is this too fast?” Lena manages to get out.
“We’ve been dating for awhile now, so really it’s about time.”
Lena laughs but is distracted by the rise and fall of her hand on Kara’s chest. Kara’s higher brain functions are being destroyed by the flush across Lena’s pale skin, she wants to find out where else she can make Lena blush.
“But seriously, I love you too, and I can’t imagine waiting any longer.”
“Okay,” Lena replies softly, a bolt of something, excitement, anticipation, love, all of it, strikes her.
Their lips meet again in a soft kiss and Lena feels she could cry, this day has been a rollercoaster and she can’t believe it’s ending with the best possible outcome. Can’t believe how much has changed in 24 hours.
Kara pulls away this time, just barely so that only a whisper can pass between them, “Say it again.” There’s desire, hope, pleading, even fear, everything Kara’s been holding back all this time, in her voice. Lena wants to be the answer to all of it.
“I love you.”
They celebrate their one year anniversary at home. They just moved into a new place together and decided they’d like nothing more than to commemorate the occasion there.
They’ll play-fight about who made the first move. Kara will give Lena a collection of framed photographs from that pivotal weekend. Including the one of Lena on the beach, sparkling green eyes peeking from behind her sleeve covered hand to see if it’s safe to stop hiding.
Kara admits that one is more of a gift to herself.
Kara will be the one to take the next big leap and ask Lena to marry her. Tells her she can only see her future with Lena in it, wants the world to know.
She gives Lena a modest ring.
At their wedding Alex will tell the story of their weekend in Midvale, and of course take credit for Kara and Lena ever getting together. Kara cries when Lena reveals she had bracelets made to exchange at their wedding in the Kryptonian tradition.
Lena cries too.