ADULT BRACES has opened a direct message chat with FIRE EMOJI
Adult Braces: Hey, um
Adult Braces: So
FIRE EMOJI: God, what is it now?
FIRE EMOJI: Kids not brushing again?
FIRE EMOJI: I told you, putting toothpaste in their ice cream isn’t going to work.
FIRE EMOJI: That’s not healthy, Knightbrace, that’s downright disgusting and a waste of good ice cream to boot.
Adult Braces: It's a good idea!
Adult Braces: But, no, not that
Adult Braces: It's just
Adult Braces: okay I know this is weird but
FIRE EMOJI: Great. Wonderful.
Adult Braces: How did you first figure out that you were uh
Adult Braces: Into men
FIRE EMOJI: Oh.
FIRE EMOJI: To be quite frank here, that is absolutely none of your fucking business, and if you're here to grill me about my preferences then I won't hesitate to fling you into the damn sun.
FIRE EMOJI: I’ve heard it all before, and I am not going to take it from YOU of all people.
Adult Braces: No it's not that I swear
Adult Braces: I just, uh
Adult Braces: H
Adult Braces: Never mind, it was stupid
FIRE EMOJI: Uh.
FIRE EMOJI: Is there
FIRE EMOJI: Some particular reason why you're suddenly interrogating me about my personal life?
FIRE EMOJI: Which is rude, by the way. Not that I think you care.
Adult Braces: I just don't know
Adult Braces: I've been thinking and I don't understand any of this
Adult Braces: And I'm pretty sure anyone else would laugh me out of the vicinity if I brought it up
Adult Braces: Except like, maybe Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb. But I would feel weird bothering them because they kinda freak me out a little
FIRE EMOJI: Are you somehow suggesting I wouldn't?
FIRE EMOJI: Also, I have no idea what “it” is referring to, Knightbrace.
Adult Braces: I mean
Adult Braces: I was just
Adult Braces: I know you, I know your sexuality
Adult Braces: How are you so open with it
FIRE EMOJI: Well. I don’t know why the hell I’m telling this to you.
FIRE EMOJI: But truthfully?
FIRE EMOJI: A lot of years of practice.
FIRE EMOJI: I’ve known since I was a kid, when I realized that the idea of marrying a woman gave me cold sweats.
FIRE EMOJI: I know it’s terrible, but honestly there was nothing for me to do BUT be open with it. Back then, the way I acted… it was a miracle no one else could tell. Looking back on it anyone on earth could have clocked me as a homo.
Adult Braces: I get that
Adult Braces: But what I mean is how did you come to terms with it around other people
Adult Braces: how can you just say you’re gay and not worry
FIRE EMOJI: Mm.
FIRE EMOJI: It isn’t easy.
FIRE EMOJI: Even now that people don’t care as much, it’s a scary thing to admit. The judgement seems to keep coming no matter how much I don’t care. It’s hard to not cave under the pressure of it all and just pretend I’m heterosexual.
FIRE EMOJI: I don’t think it would work for very long anyways, but I digress.
Adult Braces: …I see
FIRE EMOJI: I don’t mean to assume here, but are you asking for yourself here?
FIRE EMOJI: I’m still not understanding why any of this matters.
FIRE EMOJI: Even if you are, I’m not here to play therapist to a grown man with identity issues, as much as I can relate.
Adult Braces: Sorry
Adult Braces: I just
Adult Braces: I’ve never really had an attraction to anyone before, and I was wondering if I might be
Adult Braces: You know
Adult Braces: Gay
FIRE EMOJI: I see.
Adult Braces: But I don’t think I like men either
Adult Braces: Honestly I’ve never met anyone I was interested in, ever, romanticslly or physically
FIRE EMOJI: Really? Not a soul?
Adult Braces: That’s the thing! Not even one person, ever!
Adult Braces: It’s just that I’m getting up in years you know
Adult Braces: And I know I’m not exactly the town stud, but if I was going to settle down and marry someone my window is drawing to a close
Adult Braces: I feel like I should want it
Adult Braces: but I dont
FIRE EMOJI: Mhmm.
FIRE EMOJI: So, Knightbrace?
Adult Braces: Yeah?
FIRE EMOJI: This entire personal identity dilemma you’re having?
FIRE EMOJI: It has nothing— and I mean NOTHING— to do with me.
FIRE EMOJI: Go bother Wink and Fibb
FIRE EMOJI: Good chat or whatever.
FIRE EMOJI: Best of luck to you— and I do mean that.
FIRE EMOJI: Now fuck off.
Adult Braces: :(
FIRE EMOJI has closed the direct message chat with ADULT BRACES