You do not spend your youth like Tony Stark did and not learn that getting drunk at the same time as your crush is a bad idea. Not just crush. At that point, he and Stephen had had eye sex at least 20 times and almost kissed 30 times. The amount of sex dreams starring the sorcerer was offending and they doubled in frequency after Tony got to see the man's chest.
So it's safe to assume that Tony wanted to fuck Stephen. Quite badly.
The problem came on the other side. Now, as previously established, they had almost kissed over 30 times (and Tony wasn't the only one initiating things, thank you very much), so the sorcerer probably returned his (thinly veiled) feelings. So Stephen liked Tony. So far so good.
However! While Tony and Stephen wanted each other, Iron Man and Dr Strange barely had the time. So Tony resigned himself to an existence of sexual frustration and questions like would the cloak join in, could Stephen make clones, could his magic whips bind someone down, are there any sex related spells and seriously, would the cloak join cause that would be something!
Well, drunk Tony somehow managed to get drunk Stephen to answer some of these questions. And apparently a demonstration to boot.
Tony looked around the room and quickly deduced that he was in Stephen's room at the Avengers Tower. Said resident wizard was sleeping soundly next to him and okay, there had definitely been some magic happening last night, because, for some reason, Tony didn't have a hangover. Huh. Perks of fucking a wizard. Where did he sign up for a subscription?
As he got dressed, Tony tried to remember who fucked who. And the answer was... drumroll...
They took turns. Many turns. And again, some magic was used there because Tony could distinctly remember cuming 6 times and that simply wasn't possible, especially at his age.
So Stephen probably deserved that sleep. Fine. Tony would do the walk of shame like his girls used to. Time to test his luck on whether someone would see him flee from Stephen's room to his. He briefly debated waking Stephen and demanding a portal. He was sure he would get one, but he was not sure whether it would lead to his room or a volcano.
"It's hardly a walk of shame if you're only going two doors down," a familiar voice commented. Walk of shame cancelled. In its place, I present you awkward conversation.
"Still counts. Were you pretending to be asleep?"
"No, but your loud fumbling woke me up."
"Please, I'm swift and silent like a cat." Stephen nodded sarcastically. "Gracious and sexy."
"I don't know about gracious, but after last night I'll let you have sexy."
There we go.
"Thanks, doc. So what happens next?"
"You go to your room, apparently," the sorcerer replied with a deadpan.
"I mean after that."
"I drink tea, you eat caffeine with a spoon."
"I'll have you know I still make coffee, just saturated at 50 degrees. I meant, what are we?"
Stephen looked around the room with a bored look on his face.
"Quite possibly idiots. Our options seem to be a. pretend nothing happened; b. become friends with benefits; or c. start dating." They both visibly rejected the last one. Good. Same wavelength. If he was honest with himself, Tony sucked at dating, not that he had much experience with it. Most of his experience was with a, though he had been quite happy in the past with b. His fuck buddies never complained and the relationships ended amicably. And he really, really wanted to bang the magic man while sober.
"Okay, a or b," Tony stated. "B is a personal favourite, so what do you say?"
"B sounds decent. Any ground rules?"
"I don't know, Merlin. I'm quite cool and eager with magic sex."
Stephen actually laughed and it was unfair that the sound made Tony horny. Oh well.
"So I recall. You kept asking about the cloak."
He was never going to live that down.
"And what did you say? My memories are fuzzy."
"I said maybe, but not tonight. And believe me, I know. I took pity on you and cast a spell against hangovers because you were way too drunk for your own good."
"And you weren't? Oh my, you took advantage of me~!" Tony faked being offended.
"A bit, but less that you. I am not sure how you were walking, much less fucking."
Tony rolled his eyes, amused.
"I aim to impress. But let's get back to important business. What are my chances of meeting Cloakie today?"
"Wearing so much? Nil." Tony caught on and took off his shirt, slowly unbuttoning it with a grin on his face. Stephen was on his side, propping his head up on an arm. He was sizing Tony up, a smirk soon curling up his lips. "Increasing now..."
Did they have duties to tend to that day? Fuck yes they did. But those could wait until noon.
By mutual agreement, they didn't tell anyone. Now, they weren't exactly keeping things secret, but if nobody noticed that they spent more time with each other, it was their problem.
Rhodney and Wong were the first people who noticed. Tony is not sure how Wong talked to Stephen, but Rhodney was quite direct.
"You're banging the wizard." His tone was even, like he wasn't even surprised. Why would he be? Although his best friend couldn't read minds, Tony was quite sure that he read him well.
"Is that a question, Rhodney-bear?" Tony asked. He wasn't ashamed of the truth.
"It's a deduction and you didn't deny it. For how long?"
"Since the Christmas party."
"Ah. You two dating?"
"Nope. Just good old friends with benefits."
"Should I knock before I enter your lab from now on?"
"Nah, FRIDAY makes sure nobody can enter when we get dirty."
"That's good to know."
"Wouldn't want you to get scarred. Things do get quite messy on occasion," Tony teased. "I mean, magic in bed..."
"I'm gonna stop you there before you say something that makes me unable to look Strange in the eye," Rhodney said quickly. "Hope he satisfies your kinks." Tony's grin grew. "Forget I asked."
Now, Tony barely cared about his friends finding out, because those he cared about were probably expecting this to happen (Rhodney, Pepper, Happy, some of the Avengers) and the rest could just go fuck themselves with their opinions. However, there was one person whose opinion he could not predict and who mattered. Peter Parker.
Tony was stuck. The kid was... well, just a kid. He probably expected them to date, hold hands and all that. A sexual relationship with no strings attached would confuse him needlessly. How could he even tell him?
"You look like you just saw Thanos walking down the street. Whatever got you so strung up?" Stephen easily asked, sipping his tea afterwards. Tony wrinkled his nose and took a mouthful of coffee in retaliation. If they were gonna kiss, let them both suffer.
"I need to tell Peter about us. He's coming later today and I want him to hear it from me."
"'Stephen and I are fucking, but that's it.' Sounds child appropriate?" Tony asked sarcastically.
"Obviously not, asshole. Just say we're friends with benefits. He's a teenager. He's heard worse and certainly knows exactly what that means." Stephen shrugged. It sounded simple. Could it be that simple? Tony figured it most likely was.
Of course it wasn't that simple.
"What sorts of benefits?" is the first thing out of Peter's mouth. Tony wanted to call forth his suit and fly off. He didn't. He almost did, but he didn't.
"Umm..." The kid looked innocently confused and Stephen was right, he should've known about these things! What kind of high school did you go to, Peter?
Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Abort mission. Abort. Mission.
"Sex, Peter. They're just having sex, nothing more," Rhodney, having been sent by a merciful God, explained.
"Oh, so fuck buddies!" Seriously, Pete? "Why didn't you say so, Mr Stark? Do I need to knock every time I swing by? I guess I should stop entering through the windows then... oh, at the sanctum, too. Who else knows? Has this been going on for long?"
Stephen was right. Peter's innocence was an illusion Tony had created. Rhodney was giving him a look that was saying the exact same thing.