Harvey Specter didn’t believe in Christmas miracles.
Even after years of people trying to tell him different, after years of individuals spouting platitudes and positivity, and franchises trying to sell him happiness through film or song, he still never believed it.
Until he walked into the bar.
The room was dull, spotlights only providing a dim illumination of the space, but the constant thrum of chatter made the room feel alive. The scent of alcohol and something akin to cinnamon filled the air and Harvey was warm down to this bones.
It was the sudden blast of cold coming in through the open door that momentarily captured his attention, his eyes swinging in that direction without a conscious thought.
Harvey had to do a double-take, his eyes rushing over the long lost body, only allowing a quick glance to the man’s face before he intended to focus back on his scotch. But his attention was captured. His eyes flicked back so fast he felt a crick in his neck as his body attempted to keep up. But he wasn’t mistaken. There he was.
Harvey’s eyes latched onto the face he hadn’t seen in years, the one he never thought he’d get to see again, and didn’t think twice about allowing his gaze to track the man across the bar. He heard the man behind the bar clear his throat and Harvey considered allowing him a quick glance, but the man just cleaned a glass silently, so Harvey figured he was no threat.
He hoped the bartender knew better than to ask questions, or hell, threaten to throw him out, because Harvey hadn’t seen Mike Ross in years and nothing was going to drag him away now.
Harvey watched as Mike settled himself inside an empty booth, the gloss menu slipping easily between long fingers as the young man’s mind flicked over the words quicker than Harvey could really appreciate.
Harvey wanted to believe he was hallucinating. He wanted to believe he’d lost count of the drinks he’d thrown back and was imagining things in his drunken stupor, because even that made more sense than the reality that Mike Ross was sitting on just the other side of the room. He felt as if his reality was crumbling down around him, and Harvey Specter never did appreciate being thrown for a loop. He wasn’t used to it anymore, not after losing Mike.
When Mike’s startling blue gaze started to slip away from the menu to peruse the bar, Harvey was quicker. He forced his eyes to lock onto the bar top in order to avoid eye contact. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest, his breathing dangerously close to hyperventilation. Thoughts whirled around his mind and all Harvey could really focus on was the sudden urge to run and hide, but total and utter disbelief had him frozen in his seat.
He felt as if all the previous warmth in his body had flooded out of him, disappearing out the door the moment Mike had opened it, drawing it back out into the cold and snow. The only part of him that felt anything besides a tingling numbness was the spot burning on the back of his head. Harvey knew Mike was staring. He knew Mike knew he knew and Harvey had no idea what to do about it.
Harvey felt a clawing at his brain, his traitorous thoughts taunting him to turn around, to catch another glance, and Harvey was proud that he could at least manage to ignore that. Otherwise he was breaking down, sure, but at least he wasn’t giving into the overwhelming sensation to just turn and stare at Mike. Or worse. Harvey wasn’t sure whether he wanted to hit him or kiss him.
He needed to do something with his hands, he was aware enough to plan some form of distraction. So Harvey let his fingers dance in quick succession across the bar top, asking without words for another glass of scotch. He was more than relieved when the bartender didn’t even comment.
It was just as the glass was set down in front of him that the sudden buzz of Harvey’s phone on the solid mahogany beside his hand startled him. Without an ounce of free will, Harvey immediately flicked his gaze towards the intrusion into his thoughts, his composure immediately broken.
[Unknown]: Are you going to join me or are you going to sit at the bar all night like a loner?
Harvey’s heart thundered at the knowledge of who sent the text message. There’s no way it could have been anyone else, despite probability saying it shouldn’t really be coming from Mike either.
When Harvey chanced a glance across the room, despite his promise to himself not to, he found piercing blue staring back, and he didn’t even hesitate. They both knew Harvey could never deny Mike anything and he wasn’t going to start pretending again now, not when the younger man was corporeal and healthy and here.
His legs felt like jelly as Harvey made his way towards Mike. The pounding inside his chest was overwhelming and he was sure it was almost loud enough for the entire room to hear. The journey across the room simultaneously felt like it took forever and didn’t take a moment at all. Harvey slipped into the curved booth, deep blood red leather soft and sturdy under his hands, stablising him as he felt as if his legs would give out.
Harvey didn’t know what to say. Mike was sitting across from him, alive and well, smiling softly behind his glass, eyes crinkling at the corners like he wanted to laugh at Harvey. Harvey wanted to yell at him for that. He wanted to cry and scream and demand answers but all he could really force himself to care about was the fact that Mike is alive.
He couldn’t deny how good Mike looked. He looked happy and healthy, his face full and his eyes clear, and it made Harvey’s tongue catch in his mouth. He wanted to say something, anything really so Mike would know how much he’d missed him, how his disappearance had caused a hole in Harvey’s heart and every single day, the hole collapsing further in on itself, getting bigger and bigger, hurting more and more.
His throat almost burned with words trying to force themselves out, desperate to pour out, fall into Mike’s lap, and demand some sort of explanation. But Harvey found himself almost choking, and the words came out a twisted mess.
“I... but... why?”
It wasn’t often that Harvey Specter was speechless and yet here he was. It was disconcerting to say the least, and all Harvey could do to right his world was to stare at Mike and make himself believe he was real.
“I knew Gibbs would bring you down with me and I couldn’t let that happen. So I figured disappearing was my only alternative.” Mike heaved a breath, uncomfortable for the first time since Harvey sat opposite him, but forced himself to keep eye contact. “I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”
“We buried you.” Harvey still couldn’t believe it some days.
“See, that’s one tradition I’ve never really understood. Why bury an empty coffin of a missing person? It’s not like you’re provided with any closure.”
The pained look on Harvey’s face cut off Mike mid-ramble and the all too familiar swirl of guilt turned the younger man’s stomach.
“I am sorry.” Mike implored, tilting his head to ensure Harvey held eye contact. He was desperate for the older man to know he meant it, that he never wanted to cause him any pain. Mike’s only motivation for his actions was his desperation to protect Harvey, no matter the cost.
Harvey really wanted to be angry. His lungs were burning with the urge to scream and cry until he couldn’t anymore but the relief was overwhelming. He reminded himself to focus on the good. To remind himself that he never expected to see Mike again, that he’d watched an empty coffin lower into the ground before Harvey had gone home to drink himself stupid and let himself cry. The result had been a broken bottle and a broken man and it had been the worst day of Harvey’s life. He had to remind himself, despite the gut-wrenching betrayal he was feeling, how lucky he was that it had all been a lie.
“I know. I know. I just-” Harvey huffed a breath, frustrated that he couldn’t find the words he wanted to say, as his glance sidled away to rest on where his hands were wrapped around his scotch glass. He couldn’t last long though, mere seconds really, before he couldn’t not look at Mike. He never thought he’d have this chance again. He wasn’t going to waste it now that Mike was back in his grasp.
As brown locked on blue, Harvey felt warm hands wrap around his own, the cool of the glass a striking contrast to the solid heat radiating from Mike’s fingers.
“I missed you, Harvey.”
Harvey hesitated, and the moment felt like a lifetime to Mike. He drew in a sharp breath, terrified he’d said the wrong thing, ready to apologise when Harvey suddenly spoke.
“I missed you too.”
It was quiet, almost mumbled, but nothing had ever sounded louder to Mike’s ears, nothing had ever made his heart swell so completely. Mike’s smile was almost bittersweet; radiant but guilty, beyond ecstatic to be back with Harvey but devastated he’d had to lie and leave in the first place.
It pained Harvey to see it. To see Mike beating himself up over doing something to save Harvey, over putting Harvey’s life before his own. And the older man couldn’t allow it. He couldn’t allow Mike to wallow and feel guilty, not when he’d been so selfless and well-intended. Without breaking eye contact, Harvey raised the scotch to his lips, threw back the glass, and let the liquid burn its way down his throat. Standing, he gestured for Mike to follow.
“Let’s get out of here.”
Harvey wrapped his coat tightly around himself while Mike hurriedly stood to follow, copying the older man’s actions. He seemed stunned though, almost disconnected, and Harvey hated the sight. He extended his hand, waiting for Mike to take hold of it, and when the younger man looked up his eyes were wide with disbelief, like they weren’t holding hands just moments earlier, but he wrapped his hand around Harvey’s nonetheless.
Navigating around the mass of bodies, Harvey lead them out into the snow. The cold was like a sudden snap to the skin and Harvey pulled Mike a little closer to him. The two men let their bodies warm the other, content in the knowledge they were back in each other’s arms as Harvey guided them down the sidewalk.
The night was pleasant, regardless of the icy air and the snow crossing their path. The city lights were bright, almost brighter than usual with people preparing for Christmas. Lights were sparkling all around them, people were loud and laughing, and neither man had ever been happier. They were quiet as they walked, taking in the others presence and not concerned with making small talk, but Mike’s head was reeling and there was only so long he could resist saying or doing anything.
Mike pulled the older man to a stop by a tug of his hand, Harvey rounding to face him almost immediately, concern furrowing his brow. Mike hated the look. He never wanted to worry Harvey again.
He let his hand rest against the warmth of Harvey’s cheek, thumb smoothing out the older man’s frown, coaxing a smile. Mike leaned in slowly, almost imperceptibly, but Harvey didn’t even hesitate and soon lips were meeting lips.
It wasn’t reckless or hurried, but slow and content, like they’d been waiting for this their entire lives and never wanted it to end. They shared warmth and affection and Harvey couldn’t even bring himself to care that they were out on the sidewalk, clouded by snow, people all around. It was the most perfect moment and he almost wanted to cry with relief. Relief for this feeling, for knowing Mike was alive, for being able to have this when he thought he’d lost it forever.
He must have made a sound because Mike hushed him gently, pulling back, his hand still cupped to Harvey’s cheek.
“I’m home now.” It was whispered and Harvey almost hiccupped, the urge to cry only getting stronger. “I’m not going anywhere. Take me home.”
Harvey nodded as Mike kissed him again, and soon they were on their way.
“You… you don’t have a tree.”
The statement seemed kind of redundant the moment it left his mouth.
As they entered Harvey’s condo, Mike’s statement was obvious. There was no tree, no tacky decorations, no classy lights filling the space. Instead it seemed flat, almost lifeless, and it shocked Mike into stillness. He glanced at Harvey, eyes unsure and questioning.
“I don’t usually celebrate Christmas.”
“But last year. Last year we all came here and had Christmas together.”
It had been one of the best Christmas’ of Mike’s life. He was never going to forget it. The laughter, the love, the silliness, the comfort of being surrounded by his favourite people under twinkling lights… it had almost been magical. The contrast now was alarming.
“That was different. And besides, I didn’t have much to celebrate this year anyway.”
Guilt swirled in Mike’s gut yet again, his eyes clouding slightly, and Harvey hated the sight. He didn’t want to focus on the bad right now. He wanted to celebrate the fact that Mike was here.
He hushed Mike, soothing, and took the younger man back into his arms.
“Don’t worry about it.” His voice was little more than a whisper, “You’re here now. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Lips met lips once again, passionate and desperation unlike their earlier kiss, but the affection was still the same. It was open and honest and Harvey moaned into it a little.
“God I missed you.”
Harvey only responded with a moan, pushing Mike backwards towards the bedroom, nimble fingers reaching for the buttons of Mike’s shirt. Mouths opened and tongues twisted as both men fought with their shirts, desperate to feel skin against skin. Harvey was hit with the overwhelming desperation to touch Mike all over, to know he was really there with him.
His hands worked in a flurry of movement and soon Mike was naked, lying atop the bed, and Harvey could not stop staring. Mike was beautiful. His breath was lost with the disbelief that he was actually able to have this.
“Come here.” Mike’s whisper broke Harvey out of his introspection, prompting him into action. He lost his clothes as quick as his shaking hands could manage, and then he was leaning over Mike, staring into crystal blue, skin blazing at the contact.
All either man could really think about was the touch of skin against skin, the warmth radiating from the other, and the feel of lips against lips, tongues swirling together like they’ve been doing this for years. Hands wandered and tongues danced and neither had ever felt a more perfect moment.
“Harvey, I- I want…” Mike mumbled at Harvey’s lips, the softness and the heat distracting him from being able to complete a coherent thought. His brain was overloading, sparks firing in all directions, preventing thought of anything beyond Harvey, and hot, and more.
“Whatever it is, it’s yours.”
Mike pulled back to stare into Harvey’s eyes, his voice little more than a whisper when he said, “I want you to fuck me.”
Harvey could not say no. He really couldn’t say much of anything. His response was a deep moan and a press of lips against Mike’s as he fumbled towards the bedside drawer where he knew there was a tube of lube.
Harvey slicked his fingers quick before sliding into Mike. The younger man’s face was cosmic. His eyes shut tight, his mouth open, gasping for breath like he was dying for it. It spurred Harvey on, desperate for more, to be inside Mike already. Another finger pushed its way into the overwhelming heat and Harvey focused on finding Mike’s prostate. The noise Mike made, the way he threw his head back in sheer pleasure, it destroyed every ounce of Harvey’s self-control.
Another pump of lube and Harvey was slicking himself up, staring down at Mike momentarily, his attention captured by how downright perfect the man before him was.
“Harvey.” Mike pleaded and that’s all it took. Harvey leant forward, his cock resting against Mike’s entrance before he slid forward and was surrounded by overwhelming heat.
It was hot and fast and perfect. Skin slapped and slid against skin, moans filling the room, heat and desire driving their thoughts. Harvey struggled to keep his control, the hot slick of Mike’s ass tempting him to just let go, to give into the sensation and ride waves of pleasures, but he’d waited this long, he was going to make it last.
Mike threw his head side to side across the pillow, hair damp and sticking to his forehead, and Harvey was helpless to stop staring. Harvey gasped for breath in time with the younger man below him, driving into Mike hard and consistent, the younger man’s back arching in pleasure.
“God, I… fuck, Harvey, I missed you.”
That’s what broke Harvey’s resolve. His hand wrapped firmly around Mike’s leaking cock. Harvey jerked him quickly; with Mike hot and hard under him it was impossible for him to have any control left, but Harvey was determined to get Mike off first.
A few more slides of his hand and Mike was gasping against Harvey’s mouth, struggling for air as he came. Wet heat shot over Harvey’s hand and across Mike’s stomach and Harvey was gone. He threw his head back with a deep groan as he came inside Mike, limbs shaking as he struggled to stay upright.
When he was sure he could control himself enough to not collapse atop Mike, Harvey pulled out and let himself fall to the side, landing beside Mike on the bed. Immediately the younger man curled up close, still panting for breath against Harvey’s shoulder. Harvey wrapped an arm around him, pulling Mike closer, and he let his lips rest atop the crest of Mike’s head.
“I missed you too.” Harvey pressed a soft kiss against Mike’s hair, already feeling himself falling into a light doze, “Now, go to sleep.”
Mike wasn’t sure what woke him, but he was suddenly aware of the bed cold beside him, and the almost eerie quiet of the room without Harvey’s soft breathing filling the space. He wasn’t really aware of much, it was still too early for the sun to be even peeking over the horizon, and he rubbed at his eyes, trying to coerce sleep into leaving him.
As he stumbled out of bed, Mike realised he wasn’t really successful, but it was much too early for him to concern himself with the idea of thinking coherently. All he cared about was finding Harvey and bringing the older man back to bed.
Wandering out into the condo, the sudden prickle of cold darting across Mike’s skin had him realising he’d forgotten to put on a shirt. His arms wrapped around him for warmth but it didn’t little to abate the spark of cold. He knew Harvey’s body pressed against his own would be much more successful.
When he finally looked up, Mike froze in place and couldn’t do more than blink for a few moments.
“... you… Harvey, what are you doing?” Mike rubbed at his eyes yet again, trying to drive away the last remnants of sleep, but when he pulled his hands away the image before him was still the same.
“I thought it was pretty self-explanatory, Mike.”
Harvey’s drawl was soft and tinted with sarcasm, his smirk tilting slightly. His features were soft, illuminated by the twinkling glow of the Christmas lights hanging off the Christmas tree Harvey was attaching the finishing touches to.
“I thought you didn’t really celebrate Christmas?”
Mike stepped closer, compelled by the magical illumination of Harvey under Christmas lights, looking happy and festive like Mike had never seen him before.
The moment he was within reach Harvey wrapped his arms tight around Mike, his strength drawing the younger man in like he never wanted to let him out of his sight again. As Harvey tucked his face in against Mike’s neck, the younger man’s scent enticing and comforting all at once, his body still sleep warm against his own, Harvey didn’t think he’d ever quite believed in Christmas miracles like he did in that moment.